#Eddie is distraught and realizes his feelings

[yourbestbuddie]

The only thing on my mind is bees.

[grandwretch]

modern au; nonbinary steve

dustin bullies steve into playing their favorite MMO with them. to Dustin's disgust, Steve's favorite part is collecting all the different cosmetic items and making cool fantasy outfits for his avatar. unbeknownst to the party, steve creates an alt account where he can collect the female outfits and wigs, because there's a bigger selection and they're much prettier.

as Steve interacts w people on his new account, he realizes he likes it better-- for one, people pay attention to women in a way he isn't used to. not all of it is good attention, but steve relishes in it. also, he likes that people see him as a woman. he likes that they don't even think about it. quickly he joins a guild and actually starts playing the game in earnest, just so that he has these relationships with people who view and treat him as a woman.

he meets Eddie there. Eddie is charming and flirtatious with everyone, men and women, but it's clear that Steve is his favorite. Very carefully, Steve becomes closer and closer to Eddie-- close enough that Steve is full of guilt.

He feels like he's lying to Eddie about who he is, even though he's told the truth about everything but his gender. Even worse is the realization that he doesn't ever want Eddie to think of him as man-- which is confusing, because steve isn't exactly comfortable with someone he's falling in love with thinking of him as a woman.

Things get even worse when, after Steve drunk texts Eddie after a night out with Robin, they start sexting. Its fun, casual flirtation, nothing too serious, but Strve realizes he likes the idea of sex better as his alternate self. He likes pretending to have tits, he likes imagining what it would be like to have a cunt, he likes talking about wearing lingerie and being Eddie's good girl.

He thinks he can't come clean without losing the best thing he's ever had, so Steve pushes his guilt down and pretends he's not in love.

Of course he gets caught out, eventually. Dustin and Eddie become friends in real life and Eddie isn't an idiot. Steve is mortified and distraught, but once Eddie is sure that this wasn't all a cruel prank, he's quick to assure Steve that nothing has to change-- Knowing that in real life Steve has broad shoulders and a square jaw doesn't make him any more of a "man" than his online avatar makes him a "woman". Not if that's not what Steve wants.

So Steve doesn't have to give anything up. He gets to keep his amazing, supportive boyfriend. He gets to keep his pretty clothes and avatar. He gets to keep experimenting in the bedroom, finding out what makes him happy instead of what he thinks he should be doing.

And he gets more, things Steve never even dreamed of having: He gets to start buying pretty clothes in real life, too, and they hang next to his polos like they belong. He gets to grow out his hair. He gets to slowly find out what he likes, how he wants people to think of him, how he wants to think of himself.

[steddiewithachance]

"Likewise"

(Steve shows up to Wayne and Eddie's house with all of his belongings on his back and it makes Eddie remember when he was in the same position)

Dedicated to my lovely and wonderful AND awesome friend, Birdie

Read on ao3 here

*

Eddie and Wayne have always been pretty inseparable, since Eddie was 11 and made a trek across Indiana to find him. But after all the Vecna shit happened, after the manhunt and the three week hospital visit, Wayne had been especially clingy. Wayne's version of being clingy is constantly asking Eddie to do mundane things with him, it's intense love and worry and near loss disguised as casual invitations.

Eddie is endeared by it even though he'll play his part: roll his eyes and act annoyed like it's a chore.

This afternoon Wayne had knocked on Eddie's door and asked "Hey Eds wanna come out'n watch the game with me?"

And Eddie flung open the door with a huge sarcastic grin. "Me? A sports ball match TV game? You know I wouldn't miss it for the world, Uncle Wayne!" Wayne scoffed and Eddie grabbed his acoustic guitar so that he could entertain himself while he kept Wayne company in the living room.

Which is where they are now. Eddie is spread across the couch. He's aimlessly moving his fingers around the fretboard until he finds a chord that sounds nice while a sports announcer drones on in the background. Sometimes Eddie will look up to find Wayne in his old recliner watching him instead of the game. Eddie doesn't say anything, just gives him a reassuring smile.

It's raining kind of hard today, which normally would be stressful. Eddie and Wayne would be running around the house with buckets trying to catch water from all the new places the rain was leaking in. But with their shiny new government gifted place, they could sit back and enjoy the weather.

Eddie violently startles when someone knocks on the door. He sets his guitar to the side and Wayne turns the TV volume down. "Who is it?" Eddie calls out while walking towards the door.

"Steve." He hears in response.

When Eddie opens the door he's confronted with a very distraught-looking boyfriend. He looks like he's been crying, he has two dufflebags and a backpack, and he's soaking wet from the rain. Eddie immediately steps back and lets him in.

"Sweetheart, what's going on?" Eddie asks closing the door behind them even though he has a pretty good idea what the bags mean. Steve sniffles and lets his stuff fall to the floor. He startles when he realizes Wayne is in the room too. He's quiet for a few moments, maybe composing himself, Eddie thinks. Always trying to be brave and strong even when he doesn't have to, this one.

"Can I sleep over tonight?" Steve asks like it's taking a lot of effort to do so, even if he's slept over a dozen times already. "My parents... I need a place to stay and Robin's out of town and I felt kinda weird letting any of the kids see me like this" Steve wipes his nose but his sleeve is just as wet and he looks miserable, so Eddie reaches out and wipes Steve's nose with his own sleeve.

"I'm gross, sorry" Steve apologizes.

"Of course you can stay here, Stevie, is that even a question? Let's get you something dry to wear-" Eddie tells him, when he's suddenly and overwhelmingly hit with the dreamy feeling of deja vu. He looks back at Wayne wondering if he's thinking the same thing. Wayne's meets his gaze and his mouth twitches into a half smile.

Eddie grabs Steve's stuff and pulls him into his bedroom. After he sets everything down, he gently runs his hands up under Steve's shirt, until it's all bunched up right under his chin. Eddie pulls the wet fabric over his shoulders and off his arms. Eddie leans forward and plants kisses on each of Steve's perfectly freckled shoulders.

Once Steve is all changed and sat on the foot of the bed, Eddie stands over him and wraps a blanket over his head and shoulders like a little burrito. He looks adorable like this, all cozy.

"You want to talk about what happened, or not yet?" Eddie whispers, to keep the energy in the room gentle and light. Steve shakes his head without thinking and looks up at him for reassurance. Eddie leans down to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "That's okay, Babylove. You know you gave me crazy deja vu walking through that door with your duffle bags in the rain?" Eddie places his hands on either side of Steve's blanketed head.

"When I came to live with Wayne it was raining too. I always thought rain was a bad omen, you know? But then in english class one year, we talked about how in literature, rain is like symbolic of change and new beginnings. And I thought, 'yeah actually that makes a lot of sense'." Eddie speaks quietly while Steve looks up at him, listening. "Do you want to hear the story of how I met Wayne?"

------------------

1977

When Eddie steps out of the school building he sees that the cloudy sky has gotten darker since recess. That's a bad omen, he thinks to himself, but hears it in his dad's southern drawl.

He makes his way towards the front school gates, twisting his backpack strings together, a nervous habit. A swarm of children, mostly younger than him, begin to unlock their bikes from where they're chained and wheel them towards the street. Eddie pushes his way through the crowd to do the same.

He feels kind of sick grabbing the handlebars of a bike he knows full well shouldn't belong to him. He should have known that when he asked his dad for a bike it would have been stolen from some other poor kid. He feels terrible thinking about the night his dad brought it home and put a sticker over where another kid's name was carved into the paint. He shakes his head and rides over to the tree where he promised to meet his best friend, Daniel.

Daniel's already there waiting for him, talking loudly to some kid from the other sixth-grade class.

"See you Monday!" Daniel yells out as the kid hops on his bike and takes off down the street. Daniel has a smile on his face, always has been better at making friends than Eddie. He's a sweet kid, but kind of naïve.

"Hey," Eddie mutters propping his bike against the tree. Daniel turns towards him and his eyes immediately catch on Eddies forehead.

"I still can't get used to you without hair. It's weird." Daniel says petting Eddie's buzzed head. "I kinda think it looked better before."

"Yeah yeah, I already told you my dad made me." Eddie swats his hand away. "Did you ask your brother? About driving me to Hawkins?"

"Oh yeah... he said it's too far. Sorry." Daniel barely looks regretful. Eddie's heart drops.

"What?! But did you tell him I could give him money and weed?" Eddie's starting to panic. If Daniel's older brother Paul, who just got his license wouldn't drive him to Hawkins, he was gonna have to think of a new plan, and fast.

"Oh no I forgot that part, oops. Well he's picking me up in 10 minutes, just ask him yourself." Daniel complains, and Eddie doesn't blame him for not taking it seriously. Daniel doesn't understand the urgency of the situation, Eddie hasn't really told anyone why he needs to get to Hawkins so badly.

Eventually Paul pulls up in front of them, hitting the curb a little which just screams new driver and Eddie grimaces. Beggars can't be choosers, he supposes. He follows Daniel to the car. The kid gracelessly plops into the passenger seat and Eddie leans down to talk to his brother through the open door.

Paul has long blonde hair that makes Eddie miss his own hair desperately and a scar on his lip that he apparently got while skiing one winter. As always, he looks handsome, Eddie admits to himself and tries not to blush. He shakes the thought.

------------------

"Was he more handsome than me?" Steve interrupts Eddie recounting the story. He's pouting.

"Steve," Eddie exhales exasperatedly, "Not even close. Let me finish the story though."

------------------

"Hi Paul."

"Hey kid."

Eddie's face twists up, doesn't want Paul to think of him like a kid.

"Look Paul, I really need your help. I need to see my uncle and I would really be grateful if you could drive me." And before Paul can object Eddie adds, "I have money and weed that I can give you in exchange."

Paul clearly considers this. "How much?"

"How much weed? Uh I dunno a baggie?" Eddie puts his fingers up to demonstrate how much weed he remembers there being in the bag.

"No no, how much money?" Paul chuckles fondly. Meanwhile Daniel is ping ponging his head back and forth between his brother and Eddie.

"I have like forty bucks. I know it's not a ton, and it's a far drive, but this is really important." Eddie pleads. Paul stares out the windshield for a few moments.

"And you wanted to go tonight?" He asks Eddie who nods fervently. "When would you need a ride back?"

And Eddie looks at Daniel who seems bored by the whole ordeal, who is picking at the netting on his backpack. Eddie knows that if this plan works out, he won't be coming back at all. But Daniel's been good to him and Eddie hates disappointing people, so he does what his father taught him to do: he lies.

"I'm sure my uncle will drive me back, s'all good." And Paul nods his head.

"Okay kid. Let me drop Daniel home and I'll come pick you up from your place." And Eddie's heart skyrockets. Okay shit, he's actually doing this.

"Thank you! Thank's Paul. That's cool of you. Thank you." Eddie smiles big, shows all his teeth even though he's still missing a few. Paul nods and Daniel reaches forward to close the door when Eddie realizes this might be the last time he sees his best friend.

"Wait!" Eddie interrupts and grabs the door.

Paul and Daniel look at him worriedly. "Can- can I have a hug before you go?" Eddie asks Daniel shakily. He feels his throat tighten and his eyes go a little blurry. Fuck! He's always so emotional, despite Al's best efforts to chastise the sensitivity out of him.

"I guess." Daniel says, weirded out by Eddie's sudden change of tone. He unbuckles his seat belt and holds his arms out. Eddie fiercely tugs him in and realizes that Daniel can probably feel him shaking now. "But I'll see you Monday right?"

Eddie takes a deep breath, tries to will his voice to come out strong. He pulls back giving Daniel a reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder. "Yeah man, see you. And see you tonight Paul. Thanks again." And instead of looking Daniel in the eyes again he turns away and grabs "his" bike.

*

Eddie's waiting outside with his bags and a map with directions that he carefully planned out a few nights ago. He's praying to any and all gods that his dad doesn't make it home before Paul get's there. Every time he sees a car turn onto the street he panics and prepares to run.

Despite the bad weather, and Eddie's paranoia, Paul pulls up first and Eddie lets out a huge sigh of relief. Eddie smiles at him and puts his bags in the back seat. The teen looks at him with soft eyes, clearly not as gullible as his kid brother. Knows what's really happening.

"Do you have everything?" Paul asks when Eddie sits in the passenger seat and hands over two twenties and a little bag of weed he stole from his dad's dresser. Eddie nods. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Eddie thinks it would be nice to have a brother like Paul. Never got to know him too well, but he seems to care.

"Yeah man, double and triple checked." Eddie looks into the rear view mirror just in time to see his dad's black pickup truck round the corner. He sinks into the seat. "Shit man, go! Drive!"

Paul startles into action and hits the gas. It doesn't seem like Al notices because he pulls into the parking garage speeding recklessly like he always does. When they're a few streets down, Eddie sits up again and opens the map.

"Am I gonna get arrested for kidnapping you?" Paul worries, wide eyed, as he makes his way towards the highway.

"My dad's afraid of cops. I really doubt he'd call em." Eddie responds before briefing Paul on the directions (ironically) to Hawkins' police station, where hopefully someone will know where his uncle Wayne lives.

*

It's a quiet drive. Eddie finds that he's not sure what to talk to a 16 year old about and would rather pay attention to directions. He can tell Paul wants to ask what he's running from, but refrains, which Eddie's thankful for. When they're about ten minutes out from Hawkins, it starts raining.

Eddie feels guilty that Paul will probably have to drive two hours home in the rain. He voices this concern, but Paul, the saint he is, reassures him it's no big deal.

Eventually they pull up to the police station and Eddie hauls his bags out of the back seat before coming back around to the passenger side door. He leaves the map with Paul and the set of hand written directions on how to get home that Eddie made for him.

"Thanks again for everything, Paul. Drive safely."

"Eddie do you want me to wait to make sure you get where you're going?" He asks softly and Eddie doesn't remember a time where anyone spoke to him with such care. He wants to cry for some reason. Wants to take him up on the offer, but doesn't want to inconvenience the teenager more than he already has.

"I'm okay, but thank you." As soon as Eddie slams the car door shut and turns towards the station, he starts to cry. He hears the gravel crunching as Paul pulls out of the parking lot behind him. Maybe this was all a mistake. He takes a deep breath, wipes his eyes and steps through the glass door.

"Hello, can I help you?," the woman behind the front desk asks, pushing her glasses down to get a good look at Eddie who is dripping rainwater onto the linoleum floor.

"Yeah. I'm here hoping someone knows where Wayne Munson lives? He's my uncle."

The woman holds up a finger and makes her way to a desk in the back of the station. She clears her throat and starts talking to a man.

Eddie shifts his weight as he tries to make out their muffled conversation. He looks up when a tall man sticks his head out and examines Eddie from across the room. The cop nods at the receptionist and grabs keys from his desk.

"You're looking for Wayne Munson?" The man, "Hopper" his badge reads, says while walking over.

------------------

"That's when you first met Hopper?" Steve interrupts again with a small smile. Eddie rolls his eyes, fondly. He nods.

------------------

"Yes sir." He responds to the officer.

Eddie wonders if Al has started looking for him yet. Wonders if Al walked into his room and saw half his belongings gone. Probably not. And even if he did, he'd have no idea where Eddie went. Too uninvolved in Eddie's life to know the names of any of his friends.

"Alright, he lives in the trailer park. Forest Hills. Let me drive you over." Hopper waves his hand and steps into the rain. He opens the passenger seat of his car and ushers Eddie inside.

The thing about this whole situation is that Eddie knows next to nothing about his uncle. Only hears cutting remarks about him from his father once in a blue moon. But it's the kind of cutting remark that might actually mean Wayne's a good person, if it's coming from Al. Eddie only knows he lives in Hawkins, because Al mentioned it once, in passing. "Lives in a little shit hole town no one's ever heard of while I'm out here making it big in the city," he had bragged. But it's not like Al talks enough about Wayne to immediately suspect that this is where Eddie might have ran off to. He's trying to convince himself he's safe now.

*

Eddie is accompanied to Wayne's door by the officer. Hopper knocks aggressively before Eddie can even get it straight in his head what he's gonna say to Wayne. The rain is coming down hard now. He's hugging his canvas duffle bag to his chest, trying to protect his sketchbooks inside from the downpour.

"Wayne Munson? It's Jim Hopper with Hawkins PD. Open up." Hopper announces, knocking again.

And almost immediately after he knocks, the door opens a crack. Eddie sees a man with greying dark brown hair cut close to his head and a patchy beard. Wayne's eyes drop to Eddie almost instantly.

"Can I help you?" Wayne asks. His accent is stronger than Al's, Eddie notices.

"I have a kid here who claims to be your nephew?" Hopper says gruffly, scratching his mustache. Wayne opens the door wider, looking Eddie up and down with wide eyes.

"I'm uh... Al's kid?" Eddie adds quietly. And Wayne's face goes through a variety of emotions before nodding to the officer.

"Thanks Jim, I'll take it from here." Wayne mutters. Eddie watches as the officer tips his head and offers a "stay dry folks," before getting back into his car.

"Come on in, kid," Wayne says opening his door for Eddie to walk past him. Eddie takes in his surroundings. The place is... sad looking. There's hardly any furniture, just a TV and a recliner in front of a coffee table which is covered in empty beer bottles. In the corner of the room there are a handful of boxes, one of which is filled to the brim with different colored mugs. This confuses Eddie a little, but overall Eddie's not getting a good vibe. Probably still better than living with Al though.

He turns back to see Wayne watching him carefully. Eddie clears his throat.

"I'm really sorry to come unannounced like this. I know we don't really know each other, and you don't owe me anything! But I- I didn't know where else to go and I was wondering if maybe it would be okay if I stayed here for a little? I can sleep on the recliner or the floor I don't need much. I just can't- I can't go home." Eddie is shivering now, he's not sure if it's anxiety from the situation or if he's just cold and wet.

Wayne nods his head and reaches his hand out for one of Eddie's bags. "S'alright kid. Let's get you dry." He took Eddie's bags and set them against the wall. He disappears down the hallway leaving Eddie shaking by the door, before reappearing with a towel. Eddie wraps it around himself while Wayne stands and looks around the place, likely, realizing how uninviting it seems to Eddie.

Wayne walks towards the coffee table and starts grabbing empty beer bottles.

"You don't have to clean for me, I don't mind." Eddie says meekly, but Wayne continues on anyways.

"S'alright kid. Why don't you get changed into something dry. Ya have any dry clothes in those bags of yours?" Motioning towards Eddie's belongings with a hand full of bottles. Eddie kneels and unzips one of the bags feeling around for something dry which most of it is. Eddie pulls out a new pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Bathroom?" Eddie asks quietly.

"Down the hall to your left."

*

When Eddie reemerges, the coffee table is clean. And Wayne looks up at him, puts on a smile which seems forced. He must be able to tell by Eddie's face that the smile isn't as reassuring as he was going for. He sighs and scratches the back of his head.

"Should I not have come here?" Eddie asks while stepping out of the hallway and towards the door. He's in desperate need of reassurance, just wants to know if he's safe here or not.

"No! You were right to. I mean Al, is he-" Wayne is searching Eddie's eyes for answers. "Is he hurtin' you?" Wayne crosses his arms but then quickly uncrosses them. Clearly uncomfortable, nervous. And it's making Eddie feel that way too.

"Yeah." Eddie admits into the quiet of the room softened only by the sound of rain pattering against the roof. Wayne exhales and rubs his face.

"Fuckin' bastard." Wayne mutters under his breath. "He's a piece of shit, I'm so sorry kid." Eddie just nods, agreeing. "It's uh... Edward right?" Wayne asks coyly. Eddie wonders when Wayne last talked to Al.

"I go by Eddie," he quickly amends.

"Eddie, alright. It's nice to finally meet you then, Eddie." Wayne roots around in his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes before thinking better of it and tucking it back into his pocket.

"You can smoke around me, I'm used to it." Eddie shrugs and leans against the wall.

"Yeah well you shouldn't be." Wayne grumbles. He rubs his hands together and claps. "Okay so I only got one bed. I'm gonna wash the sheets and then you can take it tonight. I'll sleep on the recliner there until we figure out somethin' better. That sound okay by you?"

"No! I don't want to take your bed-"

"Just temporarily kid, s'alright. But first let's get you some food. You're as thin as store-bought thread." Wayne grabs a pair of keys off the kitchen counter and jingles them playfully.

"I don't have much around here, so lets go to the diner and then get some groceries on the way back, how's that?" He asks. Eddie nods in agreement.

------------------

"He took me to go get blueberry pancakes. It kinda became a tradition. To get blueberry pancakes any time I had a real bad day." Eddie shares while petting Steve's damp hair.

"What made you leave home that Friday? Before the school year was over?" Steve asks, seemingly distracted from his own problems which is what Eddie was aiming for.

"Al's girlfriend found out I was..." Eddie gestures between the two of them, "you know. She was constantly holding it over my head. Said she was gonna tell him. I didn't want to find out what would happen when she did."

"And he never came looking for you?" Steve furrows his brow. Eddie smooths it over with his thumb.

"I dunno. Maybe he talked to Wayne. But eventually we found out he was sent off to prison for grand theft. He's such a disaster, my god." Eddie sighs and tilts Steve's face up towards him. "Do you want to go get blueberry pancakes, Angel? It's been a day, huh?"

"I'm so sorry to say this, Eds, but I hate blueberry pancakes." Steve shrugs the blanket off his shoulders. Eddie gasps in horror.

"You dare speak ill of my comfort food, Steve Harrington?" Eddie dramatically responds, pushing his forehead against Steve's. Steve smiles and pushes him back.

"I like chocolate chip though." Steve tries to amend. And Eddie nods in understanding.

"Okay princess, let's go get you some chocolate chip pancakes. Can I invite Wayne?" Eddie starts tearing off his pajamas and scrambling around the room for outside clothes.

"Yeah, of course Wayne can come." Steve sighs and lays back on the bed looking much more like himself than he did when he got here.

"'Kay one sec," Eddie pulls on his favorite Judas Priest shirt while he stumbles back out into the living room. "Hey old man?"

Wayne looks up from the TV at Eddie. "Everything alright?" He lowers the volume again, even though it wasn't all that loud to begin with. Wayne always does this, it's like he can't think while something is playing in the background. It's impossible to add commentary when they're watching TV together because he'll either not process what Eddie said or not catch what the TV did.

"Yeah. We were thinking of going to the diner for pancakes, it's been a day. You coming?" Eddie combs his fingers through his hair realizing he probably still has bed head. Wayne looks up at him with shiny eyes.

"I'm proud of you, y'know?" Wayne whispers. This catches Eddie off guard.

"What? For what?" Eddie crosses his arm. Doesn't like when Wayne gets sappy.

"Being a decent kid. Taking care of people the way you do." Wayne gets up and reaches for his keys just like he did in '77. "Real glad you found me when ya did, son."

"Likewise, Uncle Wayne"

[her-power]

The End of All Things (e.m. x fem reader)

C/W: 18++++ MDNI, I'm serious! Sweet! Eddie, smut, fluff, fingering (f receiving) oral (f+m receiving) unprotected p in v (don't be silly, wrap your willy!) making out, swearing, grief, hurt/comfort, parentloss, death, talk of death, best friends in love summary: This takes place 5 years after the events of S4. Midsummer 1991. Eddie & reader are in their mid twenties. Eddie is your best friend and has come to you after an unimaginable loss you just endured. You realize your feelings for him during this time, and sweetness and sexiness ensues. I originally was going for a subtle smutty-ness, but I got carried away, whoooops. (I suck at summaries, I'm so sorry)

A/N: This is based off of a life changing event that happened to me when I was seventeen. A lot of it has actual conversations/reactions from said event. This was insanely therapeutic for me to write, and I thank you all for reading this if you do, this goes out to all the ones who suffered a loss and are still actively healing. I see you, you are a rockstar and keep going <3 I also pay a little homage to Matthew Perry/Chandler Bing. I'm still not over it and Chandler will always be my comfort character like Eddie. This may have multiple parts, I also semi-proofread this, sorry for any mistakes! The title is a Panic! At the Disco song, it's been on repeat for awhile for me and I think it's perfect for this so definitely take a listen to it after you read this.

Word Count: 7.5k

“She’s gone.”

Your breath hitches as you stare at the wide amber eyes of your father from where you sat on the couch. He was clasping your hands tight as you stared at him. Your throat tightens.

“You’re lying.” A smirk tugs at your lips, this was a joke. The second those words left your lips you felt something cold creep up your spine, turning your stomach into knots.

“Honey, I’m not. She’s gone, she—” 

You stand up fast, ripping your hands out of his. Your bottom lip trembles as you feel your tears burn the corners of your eyes. 

“You’re lying!” You yell at him. “Where’s Mom?! Where is she?! You’re lying!”

Your father drops his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking with sobs. You knew he wasn’t lying; you knew it. It didn’t mean you had to believe it.

She wasn’t dead. She wasn’t dead.  Wasn’t. Dead. She’s dead.

Those words swirl in your mind as you quietly groan. Your fingers clench at the hem of your black camisole, pulling and tugging at the thin material, feeling too hot, too tight. 

“N-no…” You whimper, your vision blurring as you stare at your distraught father.

Your very core burns, it stings, and you couldn’t tell if you had a heartbeat. Is that what she felt? You wonder.  Hunching forward, the pain in your chest was building and building as you loudly gasp.

“Nooooooooo!” You wail loudly. You find yourself pumping your legs towards somewhere, anywhere. An escape.

The door.

You swallow back bile as you push your front door open with your shoulder, you awkwardly stumble down the front steps, and the cool midsummer air caresses your face as your feet hit the paved driveway. You gasp again, gripping at your chest, and then you scream.

You didn’t know you could make a sound like that. A sound that was full of pain, full of anger, full of a feeling of invisible hands squeezing your heart until it bursts in your chest. Your scream echoes through the quiet neighborhood; you inhale another shaky breath, nails clawing at your stomach as you wail again. 

A dog barks in the distance, a porch light turns on, then another. You swear you just heard someone say your name. You lift your head to the sky; the stars were so visible and beautiful that night, looking like small freckles kissing the dark sky.  Your legs tremble beneath you, they’re numb, and you feel them start to buckle-

Strong arms grab you from behind, wrapping protectively around your middle; hot breath hits the back of your neck. Cool metal from ringed fingers touches your skin, hugging your arms to your chest as you let out another heartbreaking wail.

“It’s me, it’s me, sweetheart."

Eddie.  Your best friend since you moved to this shitty town ten years ago. Your sweet, chaotic, beautiful Eddie.  Your legs finally give out and he gently cradles your back against his chest, resting his forehead against your bare shoulders, feeling the roughness of hard pavement as your bum hits the ground. Your head leans back against his shoulder, his curly hair tickling your cheek ever so softly.

“H-how…” You try to form words; they were caught in your throat; you weren’t even sure if you had a voice anymore.

You wanted to ask how he got to you so fast, and if he could hear you all the way from his trailer a mile away. You’re practically sitting in his lap; his calloused fingers gently smooth out your mess of waves in your hair. Your vision blurred with hot tears as you could feel the Earth shattering beneath you. His hands find your face, his fingers cup behind your ear as he turns your face to his gently.  Only the soft light from the front porch light illuminated his handsome features.  Eddie. Your Eddie.  His big brown eyes are wide as he stares at you, he looks terrified. He has never seen you this way before. You called him a few hours ago in the afternoon to tell him your mom had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery, that you had to stay home to wait by the phone for updates from your father and you would promise to call him when you knew more. You were supposed to go to his place to smoke some weed and order pizza, a traditional Thursday night thing for you both. You figured he probably wondered what was taking so long, it had been hours. And for as long as you have known Eddie Munson, he didn’t have much patience; it was hard for him to sit still. Your fingers twirl the ends of his hair as you try to focus on him. 

“Tell me.” He says quietly.

You can already see tears forming in his eyes, and you suddenly realize this is the closest you’ve ever been to him. Your noses were almost touching. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head from side to side, spitting and blubbering out more tears as the pain tightens its grip on your heart once more.

“I can’t.” You manage to gasp out. “Don’t…Eds, don’t make me say it.”

His hand cups over his mouth as he stares at you, realization settling on his face. 

“No…” He inhales sharply. “No, Y/N…there’s no way.” 

A memory flashes in your mind just then, a memory from only a few months ago.

You sat on the counter in the kitchen with your mom and Eddie as she made dinner. She was making his favorite chicken parmesan because it had been the five-year anniversary since he was no longer a suspect of those murders that had occurred that Spring. Your parents never believed he had anything to do with it, and it was your mother standing up for him at the town meeting that really helped his case, partially because the entire town was afraid of a hard-headed strong woman who grew up in South Boston, Massachusetts and also there was no evidence at any of the scenes of his involvement, or that he was a Satan worshipper.  The other kicker was that Jason had disappeared, and everyone just assumed he did it after that. However, it didn’t stop the town from calling the cops every time they saw him walking somewhere or blasting Metallica from his speakers in his trailer. When your mom had her back turned, he attempted to stick his finger in the boiling pot of homemade meat sauce. Your mother wasn’t stupid, you swore she had eyes on the back of her head. She poked him in the side with the ladle handle, causing him to yelp.

“Come on! Just one taste! I promise I won’t ask for anymore until it’s ready. I’m STARVING.” Eddie pleaded, giving her a pathetic puppy dog look. 

“Kid, get out of my kitchen. I’m not falling for that look again, I got stuck with you for ten years!” Your mother chuckles, stirring the sauce. 

“You got stuck with a very handsome, talented, super funny son you always wanted! Did I mention handsome?” He towers over her and had sweetly rested his head on her shoulder, giving her a goofy grin.  Your mother used the palm of her hand to push his face away and laughs.

“It’s my caring daughter’s fault for LITERALLY dragging you out of the mud that summer.” 

Eddie looks at you, his smile reaching his eyes. “Yeah, your daughter is pretty awesome.”

He winks at you, and you roll your eyes, trying to hide the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Don’t kiss my ass, Munson.” Your mom laughs. “I’m sending you home a plate for your uncle, and you better give it to him this time!"

“He politely declined!”

“No he didn’t, you ate it on the way there!” You banter back at him. He whips his head around to look at you, his face falling in mock betrayal. 

“You are not my best friend anymore!” He wraps an arm around your mom’s shoulders and kisses the top of her head. “She’s my best friend now!”

You roll your eyes and laugh, hopping off the counter and making your way back to your room, but not before hearing your mother say this to Eddie:

"Everyone is out of their damn mind for not getting to know you or love you like we do. Jokes aside, honey, I can never ever replace your own mother, but I will make damn sure that you know that you can always come to me for anything.”

“Awww, Mrs. Y/L/N. Don’t make me blush-ow!” He laughs, you’re guessing she pinched him.

“I’m serious, Munson.” 

“I know, I know.” You can hear the smile in his tone. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.” 

You stare him now; he’s trying so hard not to cry. 

“Fuck.” His voice shakes and he pulls you into his arms for a hug.“Fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” 

Your fingers curl into the fabric of his Motley Crue t-shirt. Your mouth muffled by his shoulder.

“I’m sorry too.” You whimper. He hugs you tighter, and you can’t help but completely melt into his arms. 

Your father had left the house the same night. Your mom’s brother lived an hour away, who was completely beside himself over the loss of his little sister. You could see that your father was exhausted, that he was tired of making fall calls and answering the phone. You could tell he wanted to go see his brother-in-law. He was already talking about arrangements, and you pretty much forced him to go see your uncle, that the arrangements could wait and that everyone needed to clear their head because she had just died. You assured him that Eddie didn’t plan on going anywhere and that she wasn’t going to be alone, that Wayne was aware of what had happened and knew where he was.

You sat on the floor of your living room an hour after your father had left. The rotary phone was at your hip, the receiver at your ear before you slammed it down and yanked the cord from the wall. You were over the phone calls too. The cops were called, apparently a neighbor had saw Eddie “lurking” around your house and assumed that was the cause of your screaming.  You were too pissed, too grief stricken, too exhausted to bite your tongue. You had snapped at Office Hopper, but as always, he handled your snapping as graciously as he always did.

“Who was it?” You snapped. “Mrs. Hansen, right? That bitch always had a problem with us because my mother was so outspoken. She could never say shit to her face but would say it to our other neighbors. Well, guess what Kathy! SHE’S DEAD NOW!” You scream out your front door, Eddie’s hands were on your shoulders, gently pulling you back in the doorway.

“Easy, easy.” He mutters in your ear. 

“Y/N. There’s no need to yell, I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss, but when we get a call that is concerning like that, we have—"

“Why is he still being targeted as the town freak? He has done nothing wrong, ever! We’re not in school anymore, we’re practically grown-ups. We work, we play nerdy games, and we listen to music. Come on, Hop. You know she didn’t call over concern for me. She hates me.”

Hopper sighs, taking off his hat. “You have to be respectful to your neighbors. You know this. Especially…” He lowers his voice and leans closer to you. “Especially the ones who call when a cat shits on their lawn.” 

A smile tugs at your lips, and your face softens. 

“Get some rest kid. Let us know if you need anything.” He glances at Eddie. “Take care of her, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie nods. “Yeah, I know Hop. Thanks.” He says softly.

You shut the door quietly and lock it. You glance at the clock, not believing it was after midnight. You comb your fingers through your knotted hair.

“I’m going to wash up. I need to scrub this fucking night off me.” 

He nods at you, and you gently squeeze his hand as you walk by him into the bathroom. Eddie watches as you walk away, his breath hitching as soon as you close the bathroom door. He runs his hands through his hair and shudders. Eddie was usually pretty good with his words, most of the time he could never stop talking, but tonight, he had none. He had no idea how to comfort you, he had no idea what to say, or what to do. He loved your mother.  That woman took him in like her own with no questions asked and it got to a point where Wayne would offer her money, which she would always refuse. She was the only one besides Wayne to defend him after the murders and all the bullshit with Hellfire. You had told him that Hopper had to practically restrain her from punching one of the mechanics who wanted to go on a witch hunt to find you; you told him you had never seen Hopper so scared for another human being.  Eddie has tears form in his eyes and he quickly swallows them back, groaning quietly from the stinging and aching in his chest. Your mother treated him like a son, and he knows he would never feel that again and that hurt. It also hurt that Eddie had never told her how he felt about you, how for so many years he would be brave enough to pull her aside and say something but would pussy out last minute. Eddie wanted your mother’s approval. It had been like that for ten years. Yeah, he slept around, wasn’t a virgin by any means, but none of them ever stuck. All those girls, those women, he always wished it was you. He loved you; he loved you so much, but now, he wasn’t sure if he could ever tell you.

You peel off your clothes after you begin filling the bath, you stare at yourself in the mirror. You look like you aged fifteen years in a few hours. Blood shot eyes, hair a wild mess, cheeks crimson from all the screaming and tears. You sigh as you step into the bath, the water hot and you wince as you feel every muscle unclench as you slide into the porcelain, until just your head is exposed above the water. You stare up at the tile on the ceiling, marking each corner that had cobwebs that you made a mental note to clean. You close your eyes, inhaling a breath as you sink your whole face under the water. The sounds are muffled, the sound of the faucet still filling the tub vibrates around you.  You wonder what it felt like, what she felt. Did her heart stop first? Or her brain? Did she know she was going to die? You open your eyes underwater, your chest clenches again and you stop holding your breath. Your mother’s lifeless face flashes in your mind and you gasp in water, quickly lifting yourself up, knocking over the shampoo bottles. You sputter and cough out the water you had just inhaled. Tears spring to your eyes and you begin to sob and suddenly felt so, so alone.

“Eddie.”  You groan out, but your voice felt small. “Eddie!” You call again, the tears still spilling. 

You hear a shuffling of footsteps outside the bathroom door, and a soft knock. “Are you alright in there?”

You had forgotten you were naked and submerged in water as you lean forward to turn the faucet off. You felt insanely vulnerable, but you needed to clean yourself up. You just didn’t want to be alone.  You bring your knees up to your chest, resting your cheek on your knee, doing your best to cover your breasts and torso. The lower half of your body was hidden by the soap bubbles. 

“You can come in.” You tell him meekly, wiping away the hot tears.

You knew he hesitated, it took him a few moments to respond. “Are-are you sure?”

“Yes, I just need…I just need someone in here with me.” 

The latch on the door clicks open, and he slowly pushes it open with his toe. His eyes were already averted to the ceiling as he walked in, trying his best to be respectful. 

“You can look at me, Eddie. It’s okay.” Wow, you thought to yourself, you were feeling brave.

A blush rises to his cheeks, and he meets your eyes, breathing a sigh of relief when he could only see your bare shoulders, legs and back. He sits on the floor next to the bathtub, leaning his back against the wall and looks at the side of your face. 

“Talk to me.” He says sweetly, resting his chin against the lip of the porcelain.

He watches you make the washcloth swim back and forth in front of you, and he gently leans towards your hands, taking the cloth from you. He waits for you to say something, but you don’t. He takes the small bottle of body wash and squirts a glob of it on the cloth, gently massaging it into the fabric. Your heart was racing, and you hear him inhale a shaky breath. He kneels up a little, the warm washcloth hits your skin so gently as he carefully traces circles around your shoulders. You shudder, a warmness settling in your tummy. 

“What am I gonna do?” You say quietly, tears burn your eyes again and you groan, you were tired of the tears.

Eddie swallows hard, gently moving a piece of your hair back to wash your neck. This felt foreign to you, this semi-erotic moment of him touching you like this, so sweetly, so gently. Your Eddie.

“I don’t know.” He says to you. “I wish I did, but I don’t.” 

You lift your head to look at him, seeing a blush creeping up as the hills of your breasts are exposed. You watch him as he concentrates on your back, gently moving the cloth up your neck, your eyes flutter close. He dips the washcloth in the water and squeezes out the excess, pausing before moving his way towards your lower back.

“You know whatever you need, I’m here. Okay?” He tells you and you nod. He gently wipes away an exposed tear from your cheek. “You’re kind of stuck with me at this point.” 

Your face scrunches up in mock annoyance and he laughs, you chuckle. “Yeah, I know. Thank you.” 

He's looking into your eyes now and your eyes dart to his lips, before looking back into his eyes. He quickly glances away to finish washing your back and you turn your body towards him so suddenly, water splashes up and he drops the washcloth. You don’t know where this feeling came from, how you just wanted to continue to be touched by him, be loved by him. Was it the grief? You weren’t sure, but you sure as hell wanted to feel something else besides the fucking horrendous pain. Your hands are on his shoulders, the wetness from you dampened the ends of his hair as he stared at you with wide eyes. 

“What are you doing?” He whispers, his hands reaching up to cup your wrists.

You could tell he didn’t want to overstep, and he kept his eyes just on you, your eyes. He was a gentleman in all the right ways; but he desperately wanted to look at your body. You were fully exposed to him besides your lower half, and he had dreamt of a moment like this. Your hands touch his cheeks, your nose barely grazes his.

“Kiss me, please?” You say quietly, and his breath hitches.

His hand cups the back of your wet hair, pulling you towards him slightly as your breathing picks up. You could feel him tremble as you lean closer, your breasts pressing against the coolness from the porcelain, your nipples hardening at the contact. You push your mouth onto his, his plush lips as soft as you imagined they would be. He uses his other hand to cup your neck, you opened his mouth with yours, feeling his tongue enter your mouth so carefully. You were kissing your best friend. You were kissing your best friend. You were kissing Eddie. Your Eddie.

You wrap both arms around his shoulders, and his hands wraps around your middle. He was getting comfortable, years and years of his love for you was spilling out in this exact moment. You feel him lift you so easily out of the tub, awkwardly stumbling into the wall. Not realizing how strong he was, he grabs your ass, hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. You could feel his clothes soaking from the contact of your wet skin and could feel the wetness that pooled between your legs as he kept kissing you, blindly searching for the handle of the door. The cool air from the living room air conditioner hits your bare skin, causing gooseflesh to prickle all over you. You push your body against his more, deepening the kiss and he groans, bumping into everything you both contacted. Pictures became crooked on the walls, you heard something tip over from a few of the shelves, and you finally make it to your bedroom door. Your back hits it a little roughly, and he pulls away from you to catch his breath before pressing his mouth to yours again and he finds the doorknob with one hand as the other continues to hold you up. You both fall to your bed with an oomph, you start laughing hard because your head had clunked against the headboard, and he looks at you with wide eyes.

“Shit.” He breathes out, pulling away from your lips and laughs. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” 

You smile at him and nod, your lips pulsating from the kissing. He smiles down at you, rubbing your cheek, your hair, his hand gently smooths its way down your bare arms, towards your hips. He’s still looking at you, wanting to make sure it was okay for him to really see you before going further. You rub his cheek, and he leans into it, gently kissing your palm as he hovers above you. He was still trembling, and you take his hand, placing it on your skin below your breast. His calloused fingers squeeze the spot gently, his fingers barely grazing the underside of it as you watch his throat bob. He leans towards you and kisses your lips gently, leaning back on his heels as his eyes dart over your body. You bend your knees ever so slightly; he places his hands on your knees and kneels between your legs. He lets out a sigh and smiles sweetly at you and pulls off his shirt. His fingers trace a soft line over your ribs, he makes circles over your navel, the soft skin at your hips. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers to you, he chuckles awkwardly. “I mean, you’ve always been beautiful to me, not that just your body is beautiful. Your face is beautiful too, and your heart. All of you, everything—”

“Eddie, take a deep breath.” You smile, moving your palm up his torso and cupping his cheek.

He laughs, inhaling deeply, and places both hands on the side of your head as he leans down, your legs wrap around his jeans, feeling his eager bulge through the zipper. He kisses you softly, pulling away to look into your eyes. You could see tears form at the corners of eyes and you hold his face in your hand.

“What? What is it?”

He sighs, leaning up on his elbow. “For so many years, I wanted to tell your mom something that had been eating at me.” He groans, a single tear falls down his cheek and you wipe it away. “I wanted to tell her how insanely in love with you I was…I am.”

Your eyes widen at his confession, your heart does a back flip, and you feel your own tears prickle your eyes. 

“I know it doesn’t mean much now, because she’s gone…fuck.” More tears spill from his eyes, you wipe them away, he holds your hand to his cheek. “I loved her. I loved her so much and she became a mother to me at a time when I really needed her, and she always told me I could tell her anything. I should’ve told her how I felt about you sooner, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

Your heart broke for him. You knew how much he really did love your mom. Their relationship was for sure that of a mother and son. He had called her one night from the Hideout in the middle of the night because he got into a fight with a stupid townie and she’d bring him back to your house, cleaning up his wounds and comforting him. One night he had fallen asleep on your couch from a night of too much drinking, and she tucked him in, placing a large cooking pot next to him in case he had to puke. She would do so many motherly things for him that he wasn’t used to, and once he was finally comfortable enough to accept those gestures, he felt like a little boy again.  You bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling and you give him a smile.

“I think she knew.” You curl your fingers through his hair.

“How?” He asks you.

“I never really thought much about it at the time, but she would throw subtle ‘son in law’ jokes at me and I would just ignore her. Because you were my best friend, there was no way you’d feel any other way than that. Or so I thought.” 

You trace an outline on his lips with your finger. “You love me?”

He nods, not bothering to wipe another stray tear away. “More than you know.” 

“I love you, too.” You tell him softly and he smiles.

“Yeah? You sure?”

You roll your eyes, tugging a piece of his hair and he yelps. “Don’t make me take it back.”

He laughs, caressing your face with the back of his hand, smoothing out your wet hair. He leans down, kissing you softly. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him onto you, he lets out a hot breath as you push your tongue in his mouth. His hands travel down the dip in your shoulder, down the middle of your chest and stops on the curve of your breast. You feel the coolness of his metal ring against your skin, your nipple hardens, and you gasp in his mouth when you feel his fingers gently pinch the hardened bud. His mouth finds your throat, leaving kissing trails down to your shoulders, still pinching and squeezing your breasts as you squirm beneath him. His mouth takes your nipple in his mouth, and you hear him softly moan as he gently bites down. His tongue swirls around the bud and sucks, and you arch your back. His hand travels down your navel and over your sex. You whimper when you feel his fingers spread your lips apart and he runs a finger over your clit. He pulls away from your breast and kisses you hungrily, his fingers tracing circles around your clit, pushing down and he smirks against your lips when you let out a loud moan. No one has ever taken their time with you; you have only had sex with two men in your life and it was always you finishing them off first and them being “too tired” to return the favor. Eddie knew what he was doing, you knew this wasn’t his first rodeo, and you desperately wanted to know what else he could do. He pulls away from your lips, licking and kissing a trail all the way down to your navel. He leans back on his heels, and your eyes widen at the outline of his hardened cock beneath his jeans. He places his fingers in his mouth, sucking off the taste of you and you squirm at how sexy he looked. You bend your knees and open your legs wider. 

“Damn.” He mutters, scooting back to lay in front of your dripping cunt. He wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you closer to his face. “You really are beautiful.”

He kisses your clit gently, you arch your back, gripping at the sheets beneath you. His tongue swirls around the sensitive nerves, and he sucks on it, letting out a loud groan. It vibrated your entire body, and you moan. His fingers press into the meat of your thighs as he buries his face closer, his tongue lapping at your hole as you could already feel yourself about to burst. You grip his hair, tugging on it hard, which sends him into a frenzy, and you feel two fingers slide their way into you. 

“Eddie…”  

You moan his name, and he begins to pump those fingers into you, pressing against the sponginess of your g-spot. He continues to devour your clit and you lean up on your elbows to watch him. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe that your best friend of ten years was doing these things to you.  Your Eddie.  He pulls away from your clit, feeling you clench around his fingers, and he slinks his way back up your body, his chin wet and dripping of you. He kisses you passionately, you moan at the taste of yourself, and he continues pumping his fingers in and out. His thumb finds your clit and rubs circles, you hold onto his shoulders as he kisses you, feeling yourself close to release. He pulls away from your lips for a moment.

“Come on, baby. I know you can cum for me.” His voice was lower, almost deeper.

Those words almost sent you over the edge, words you never in a million years thought would come out of his mouth. He pumps harder and groans as your hand finds his cock through his jeans and you rub your hand over the material. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and he lets out a hot breath against your neck, whimpering at the sheer intensity and passion.

“Fuck, Eddie…”  

You moan out in pleasure and he groans against your neck. You feel the pressure building and building in your lower belly and you cling onto him as your orgasm rips through you and you cry out. He keeps his fingers inside of you, riding the orgasm out with you, the overstimulation was insanely uncomfy but as he kept pumping into you, you eased into another hard orgasm and your body shook beneath him. He slides his fingers out of you, you catch your breath as you continue to cling onto him. His hands grip your hip, and he looks at you, a smile creeping on his lips. You sigh, crashing your lips against his, unbuttoning his jeans hurriedly and sliding them off. His lips graze against your ear lobe and you roll him onto his back with your legs and he giggles. You laugh, kissing his lips, his neck and you lean up on your heels. His hands hold onto your hips.  The length of him was almost intimidating, you bite your bottom lip and take him in your hands, gently moving your fist up and down. He lets out a deep groan and his eyes squeeze shut, arching his back. You rub his precum over his tip and he shivers, you move your head towards his cock and glance up at him. He looks at you with half lidded eyes and you lick a long strip from the base all the way to the tip, taking him into your mouth. 

“Oh…oh my, unghhh—”  

A loud, throaty moan escapes him, surprising you both and you both laugh. He covers his face with both his hands shyly, slightly embarrassed by the sound he just made. You kiss his tip, licking down his shaft and he whimpers. He grips the back of your head as you bob up and down, taking him all in, rubbing his balls to get him to squirm. He let out a low growl, a sound so animalistic and sexy you couldn’t believe you were the cause.  He wanted to feel you, he wanted to be inside you and couldn’t wait any longer. He pulls at your hair, lifting your head up, your lips were swollen and wet with spit. 

“Come here.” He says breathlessly. “Now.”

You crawl up to him, his lips catch yours in a passionate kiss. You were trembling now as you lined yourself up with his length. He cups the back of your head, sweetly pecking your lips as his other hand grips at your hips. You keep your face close to his, your lips barely touching as you lower yourself onto his cock. He squeezes your hips, throwing his head back into the pillow and lets out a throaty groan. You whimper as you take him all in, slowly rocking your hips to get used to the size of him as he stretches you out.

“Are you okay?” He whispers to you, lifting his arm up to cup your cheek. 

You nod, pleasure was building in your belly as you grind against him, your clit rubs generously on his pelvis. You look into his eyes, running your hand up his chest, over his tattoos, tracing his lips with your fingers. You insert two fingers into his mouth, which he takes willingly and sucks. You move your hips up and then down, hard. His moan vibrates on your fingers as you rock faster against him; you remove your fingers and begin playing with yourself with that same hand as he watches you in awe. He arches his hips into you, and you cry out, your head falling back, he caresses and pinches your nipples.  You lean forward, using the headboard as support to continue your movement. His tongue traces circles around your nipple, sucking hard and squeezing both with his hands. He moves onto the next one, you moan louder into his ear, and he grabs your ass, burying his cock deeper into you. 

In one swift motion, he flips you on your back. His eyes stare into your soul, and you kiss him. He kisses you back with the same hungriness from earlier, taking your leg and moving it onto his shoulder as he thrusts into you.  An insanely pornographic sound escapes your lungs, and he smiles against your lips. He leans up slightly to stare at your face, you were biting your bottom lip, and your eyes burn into him, and he could feel his heart growing bigger and bigger for you in that moment. You grab his perfect ass with your legs to push him further into you and he arches back; your lips go to his throat, gently nibbling on it and licking all over. Your orgasm was building in your belly, and by the way he was slowing down and getting a little clumsy, he was close too. 

You pull his face towards you by the back of his head. “Fuck me.” You tell him through gritted teeth.

His beautiful brown eyes dilate, and you see the pure lust take over in his stare. He leans back on his heels, pulling himself out of you and you frown, he pulls you towards him hard by your thighs, his fingers for sure going to leave lovely bruises. But you didn’t care.  Before you could make another comment, he slams his cock into you, and you scream out. He holds onto your hips, rolling his against yours at a hard pace, you swear you could see all the fucking colors of the rainbow. 

“Fuuuuck…”  He moans out. “Oh fuck-I’m gonna—”

“Don’t stop, Eddie.”  You whimper, his cock slamming into your g-spot over and over was making you forget your name. 

You move your hands down and find your clit, rubbing vigorously against it as your cunt clenches against his cock. He watches you rub yourself, a smile toys on his lips as he stares in wonder at you, he felt as if he was fucking a goddess.

“Oh god…”

“Cum with me, baby. I want to feel you.”  

He groans loud, and that was enough to send you screaming, and crying out his name as you came all over his cock. You grip the sheets under you, still cumming hard and he slams faster into you, the bed squeaks and the headboard bangs into the wall and he sputters. 

“Oh…my…unnngh.”  

He slams into you once more, you could feel the warmness settle in your cunt as he came inside you, feeling his cock twitching as he slowed his pace and cried out, collapsing onto your chest. He rolls his hips against you and shudders. The two of you lay there in a pile of limbs, heavy breathing, and sweat. He lifts his head up to look at you, smoothing out your still wet hair, and presses his lips to yours. Your tongue goes into his mouth, and he moans softly, cupping the back of your head, deepening the kiss. He slides out of you gently, and pulls away from you, laying on his back. His hand rested on your thigh, and you could feel him dripping from you; you needed a minute. Or several. 

“Well,” he says breathlessly. “I’ve never done that with you before.” 

You weakly slap his chest and laugh loudly; tears prickle your eyes as you feel another laugh roll out until you’re full-blown cackling. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow and you laugh harder. He shakes his head, laughing with you, turning onto his side to rub your tummy gently. Your laugh was one of the things he loved about you because it was so contagious, and that this was the first time today he could see pure happiness on your face. 

“I’m sorry.” You manage to say, your laugh still rolling out of you. “I don’t know why I’m laughing so hard. Oh wait, I do, you’re a fucking idiot and I love you.” 

He laughs, kissing your cheek. “No going back now.”

“No.” You say, catching your breath, bringing your palm up to his cheek. “Never.” 

He kisses your lips, your cheeks, your neck and leans up on his elbows. “My clothes are soaked.”

“I’ll put them in the wash.” You kiss his nose, slowly sitting up in bed, you could already feel the soreness between your legs. “I’m pretty sure my mom folded a bunch of your clothes you left here the other day.” You pause and turn to look at him. 

“Of course she did.” He says with a sweet smile, tracing your spine with the tip of his finger. “Do you want me to go get them?”

You knew he only asked because the washer and dryer were in her little den with her vanity mirror. 

“Uh, no. It’s okay.” You give him a smile. You go into your dresser, pulling out underwear and your oversized Queen tour t-shirt you got in 1987. Your mom had bought the tickets for you and Eddie; Eddie was indeed a total metal head, but he had a soft spot for Queen, probably because you loved them so much. You throw on the clothes and turn when you feel his eyes on you.

“What?” You ask, a blush creeping up on your cheeks as you stare at his naked body.

His right arm, which was covered in a full tattoo sleeve, was bent behind his head as he looks at you. 

“Nothing.” He smiles sweetly. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. Around us.”

You lean over to him to kiss him, he holds your head,, leaving lots of pecks around your cheeks and lips, causing you to giggle. You pull away, turning around to grab his mess of clothes on the floor, throwing his dry boxers to him. He takes this opportunity to smack your ass and you yelp. You narrow your eyes at him, and pull out his chain wallet, snapping it open, pulling out some cash, you could only make out a few ten-and one-dollar bills. 

“I’m taking this.” You tell him, shoving the bills into your underwear. 

“Pretty cheap date, don’t ya think?” He laughs, pulling his boxers over his hips as your face falls into mock shock, you pull out the cash and throw it at his face, causing him to laugh harder.

You shake your head, leaving the room, heading towards your mother’s den. You slow your walking down as you meet the closed door. The grief starts to creep up again, your hand trembles as you reach for the doorknob. You twist the knob and push it open. An aroma of peach, rose and slight Sandalwood hit your nostrils and you have to hold onto the wall for support, blindly finding the light switch. The light is bright, and you squint, your eyes already filling with tears as the scent of your mother was everywhere in this room. Her vanity sat perched against the wall, the wood was a soft amber color. She had rebuilt this vanity after getting it from a garage sale a few years ago. You gently run your hand over the fabric of her sweater that hung behind the chair she always sat at; whether to do her make up, or randomly sketch some drawings in her sketch book. You pull your hand away as if burned, and you quickly go to the washing machine, tossing Eddie’s clothes in as well as some dirty ones that were in the basket.  You see his folded clothes on top of the dryer, your heart hurt with how right you were and how she would never fold his clothes again.  You groan, looking over the clothes, sniffling. You take out his Metallica tour t-shirt, and his black jeans. You exit her room after shutting off the light and quietly shut the door.  Eddie was strumming at your acoustic as you walk back in, smiling at you at you hand him the clothes. He sees the tears in your eyes and immediately puts the guitar back on the stand.

He takes your hand, “What happened?”

You shake your head, trying to smile. “Nothing…it’s nothing. I’m okay. Can we go to bed?” 

He looks you over once with concern and nods, gently kissing the top of your hand. You crawl into bed, leaning over him to turn off the light on your nightstand. You curl up next to him, burying your face in his chest. He wraps his arms around you, pulling the blanket over the both of you. You feel his lips kiss your hair and you sigh. All the sadness, all the grief had fallen away as he held you and you wished you could stay like that forever.

As if the universe was working against you, you woke up screaming. You were covered in sweat and tears pooled from your eyes as a panic attack settled deep in your chest. You sat up, leaning against the headboard, bringing your knees up to your chest as you scream out a sob. Eddie had woken up immediately, feeling you thrash around before you woke up. Dawn was approaching, and he flicks the light on. He kneels in front of you, placing both of his hands on the side of your head.

“Hey, hey, look at me, I’m right here.”

The dream you had replays over and over in your head like a broken record. You let out a painful groan, holding onto your stomach as you to try to speak and to calm your breathing before you hyperventilated. 

“She…she was right there. Right in front me.” You tell him, your voice choking with sobs. “Right there! She was so close to me and I tried to reach for her hand but she kept moving away from me, and I ran to her. I ran so fast, but she just kept going further and further away until I couldn’t see her. And then she was gone. She was gone.”

You cry, hard, and he takes you in his arms, hugging you as you wept. You wail and he tightens his hold on you, gently rocking you as you gripped onto his arms.

“I’m not ready for this.” 

“I know.” His voice trembles, smoothing out your hair. “You don’t have to be ready for something like this.”

“Why did she leave me?” You whimper, your entire body shakes.

“Why was she taken away from us!? Oh god…” 

He kisses your head, your cheek, finds your lips and kisses them softly. 

“Please don’t leave me.” You choke out. “Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise you.”

“Don’t leave me.” You cry, holding onto him for dear life. He rocks you and you cry. You weren’t ready for the coming days, you weren’t ready to keep feeling this sorrow phone call after phone call, hug after hug, tear after tear. You weren’t ready for today. You weren’t ready for tomorrow. You weren’t ready. You weren't ready.

[taintedcigs]

𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍: can you do a blurb with eddie where eddie and reader are friends but SO OBVIOUSLY into each other and so like nancy/robin/steve or someone else sneakily sets them up in a situation where they admit their feelings 🤭 also congrats on 1k my love 🫶🏻

idiots in love

pairing: eddie munson x reader

word count: 1.1k+

warnings: nothing rlly, just some tooth-aching fluff!, and cheesy!

a/n: i certainly can leah ily sm mwah! thank u for this and thank uu!!! and also i just wrote a very similar fic to this its like u read my mind lmaooo (but ill make this one different from that one omg!!) also sorry i got very carried away lmao!

join my 1k celebration!

Everyone knew you and Eddie had a thing for each other, apparently everyone but you two idiots did.

Robin first noticed it when you found out about Eddie and that girl from history class had a date, and you freaked out about it, you spent the whole night uneasy, and the next day asking Eddie about how the date went, a smile and relief washed over your face when Eddie told you the date was awful. Robin tried to tell you that you were jealous, but you masked it as being an 'overprotective friend'.

And Steve first noticed how Eddie truly felt about you when he got high with him, Eddie spent hours and hours talking about you to Steve, and at some point, it turned into babbles about how pretty you are, how soft your hair is, and how perfect your smile is. Steve tried to tell Eddie that he had feelings for you but Eddie dismissed it entirely.

Those were the first two incidents, and now Robin and Steve could count about a hundred more where the two of you idiots were too dense to see your feelings for one another.

So with Dustin and Nancy's help, the four of them came up with an idea on how to get the two of you idiots to admit your feelings to one another, Steve and Dustin would push Eddie to his limit and Robin and Nancy would push you to your limit.

It all started innocently at first, Nancy and Robin slightly mentioned Eddie might be going on another date, your ears perked up at that, but you pretended to be dismissive, then they started talking about how they wish they had a partner who regularly bought them flowers, watched movies with them, taught them how to play guitar, their suggestions were all specific about the things you and Eddie did, but you failed to notice that because the whole time they were talking, the only thing you could think about was. 'Shit, I do those things with Eddie!'

Then it all came to a breaking point when they asked you what your type was, and without being able to stop yourself, you said, 'Curly, bit of a metalhead, and a bit nerdy.' You shrugged. But Robin and Nancy slightly smirked to each other.

"Oh... kinda like Eddie, right?" Nancy asked nonchalantly, and they stayed silent, before the metaphorical lightbulb exploded in your head.

'Fuck... I like him, don't I?" You asked them turning to face them now, and they almost squealed at the realization, talking you up so that you could immediately confess your feelings to Eddie and save him from the imaginary date.

Meanwhile, Dustin and Steve weren't so subtle, they slightly mentioned you having an imaginary date as well, and when Eddie seemed so distraught physically, they knew they didn't have to do much to get him to confess. Steve and Dustin pretended to play a game of 'fast questions' where they bombarded Eddie with simple questions, and then asked him questions such as, 'Who's the smartest in the gang? Who is the most annoying in the gang?' then as Eddie was getting mindless about the questions, Dustin asked, 'Who would you wanna date?' and when Eddie without hesitation, said your name, Dustin and Steve gave each other a look, and when they stayed silent, Eddie started cursing.

"Holy shit." The realization quickly hit him. "I... I fucking like her, don't I?" He asked, and Steve and Dustin nodded their head so quickly that it gave Eddie a spin. So then Steve and Dustin encouraged Eddie to go over to the imaginary restaurant you were supposed to be in to stop your imaginary date.

When the two of you were gone, all four of them quickly made their way to Enzo's, to see if you two idiots were actually going to manage it.

When you finally made it to Enzo's you frantically searched for Eddie, who at the same time was frantically searching for you, when the two of you spotted each other, you pointed your finger at him, and so did he.

"Eds!" You rushed over to his side, "Oh, honey." His voice was soft when he rushed over to you.

When your gazes met one another, there was a pause, almost as if the two of you were still hesitant, but the way your dreamily looked at him, and the way his honey-glazed eyes looked at you, was enough to make the two of you confess.

"I like you." The two of you said in unison, and both of you were breathless from all the running around, the confession made the two of you stare at other dumbfounded.

"You?" Now the two of you pointed to each other, once again talking in unison and now you couldn't help but giggle.

"I've- I've liked you for a while now... but I couldn't get myself to admit it, because I thought you didn't like me..." You murmured, now your gaze intended on the ground and Eddie shook his head quickly.

"What?" He asked baffled, he quickly got closer to you, his soft hand tilting your chin to get you looking at him. Eddie had so clearly been in love with you, and your words were making his heartache, if he hadn't been such an idiot, the two of you could have been together for a long time now.

"You- you never asked me out... you just asked out that girl from history class, and I just assumed you didn't like me." You gazed into his eyes, they were glimmering with disappointment, disappointment in himself for not realizing anything.

"Oh my god, I'm such an idiot, I only asked her out because I thought you didn't like me!" He exclaims and now you feel like an idiot too.

"But I pretended not to like you because I thought you didn't like me and wanted other girls!" You exclaim back, hand still pointing toward him, and you can't help but start giggling, and so does Eddie.

Meanwhile, Steve, Dustin, Nancy and Robin watch outside impatiently.

"Are those idiots... laughing?" Steve asked as the three others' head perked up immediately. Nancy scoffed, "Oh, I'm actually going to kill them this time, I swear to god I'm going to mush their head against another!" And before Nancy could angrily storm off Robin held her back.

"Oh, shit, wait!" She pointed towards the two of you again, you two were now leaning against each other's faces, Steve, Dustin, Robin, and Nancy treating this like their own little show, watched excitedly.

You couldn't help but blink slowly when Eddie licked his lips, his gaze intent on your soft lips, everything was happening too fast but you were more than ready for him to kiss you.

Eddie's nose softly bumped into yours, and you didn't hesitate to close the gap between the two of you, when his plump lips met your soft ones, you couldn't help but let a whimper out, and Eddie smiled into your lips.

He pulled away from initial shock, his forehead pressed against yours. "We were such idiots, huh?" He asked, a playful laugh on his lips.

You giggled, nodding, "Well, at least we figured it out now." You gave him a warm smile, unaware of your best friends who had orchestrated the whole thing.

also this is what i had in mind when i wrote the confession scene btw:

[infinite-orangepeel]

Behind every shitty hole in the wall is a story.

It’s a hysterical combination of luck and determination that lands Eddie Munson in the back alley of a dive bar five years after the world was supposed to end.

It's by chance alone that Steve Harrington is snuffing out a cigarette under his boot. Eyes fixated on a useless point in the distance. Off into space or wandering no man’s land. Distracted and distraught.

He’s never been the same.

He’s never known how to come back home.

He’s punishing himself. Has been for half a decade.

It’s the first anyone’s seen of him, since—

There’s a smudge of grease or soot or black makeup outlining his cheek. There’s gel in his hair—sticky and functional. He’s tangible. Real—somehow. Dusting ash off on his dirtied pants and trying to make the most of a blasphemously humid afternoon.

He wipes sweat from his brow bone, breathes deeply, seems to come to terms with the harsh underbelly of reality.

The sky is orange; afflicted by caustic heat. He doesn’t belong in a place like this. It’s time to bring him home once and for all. Of that, at least, Eddie is certain.

Eddie isn’t certain of much these days. None of them are. Not since Steve left and took their bleeding hearts with him like a dissolute trail of breadcrumbs.

Every moment without him has been spent painfully avoiding the mention of his absence. Setting his place at the dinner table was a habit they all had to unlearn, but sometimes Robin will forget—put out a plate and fracture at the realization.

And, then, the evening is ruined. The evening becomes a sinking ship. Blurry conversations swirling around how to convince him to come back. How to see it through. How to show him he has a God-given right to nestle into their world without making desperate apologies. There’s no need.

The desert’s on Steve’s side. Thinks it can outsmart Eddie by parching his lips, cracking the skin around them, drying out his tongue like the package of liquor store jerky he anxiously gnawed on while driving into town. Kicking up arid soil with his tires and blinding himself to fear—to the voices in his head that tell him to let Steve sulk and suffer in silence, because he’s the one who chose to leave in the first place.

It was a choice.

A fucking stupid choice, but a choice nonetheless—

Steve’s going to go back inside. He’s got a dish towel tucked into his apron pocket. A toothpick replacing the fallen cigarette between his teeth. Eddie’s been trying to muster up the courage to actually approach him for the past three days.

It always ends the same.

Steve’s fifteen minute break comes to a close, he disappears through the door on stage left to clock back in, and, as if looking through a broken kaleidoscope, the scene around Eddie fades into colorless obscurity. Everything else is void of meaning. Without Steve in the picture, life makes little sense. There’s no point. No clear way North.

He’d rather die than go through it again. The loss. Decay. Heartache and rage.

“Have you told your boss about the family emergency yet or do you need me to take care of that for you?” Eddie snarks, hiding his emotions behind a practiced smirk.

Steve looks up. Hand on the door. Stuck between two universes. One in which he hides and another in which he allows himself to be found.

“What are you talking about?” He chokes on a peach pitted fantasy in which he gets to briefly wake up and hit snooze–rub the sleep from his tired eyes, “Why are you—Eddie, you’re not supposed to be here. How the fuck did you find me?”

There’s uncertainty afoot. His chest rises and falls in shaky hesitation. One beat slow followed by two in rapid pace—standard procedure for someone who's been forced to confront his past in broad daylight. Out of the blue and into the unknown. Eddie wants to pin him to the wall and kiss him—drown his sorrows so he never has to feel them again.

But, it’s not time for that.

Not yet.

“Is someone hurt? Is it one of the kids? Robin? Nance?”

Eddie feels cruel for planting that seed in his brain so he cuts him some slack. Pushes past his own frustration, devastation, the scars on his torso that ache when he twists this way or that—reminders of who he was before.

“Everyone’s fine. Healthy and safe at home,” he swallows the gasp that wants to come out when Steve releases the handle on the door—when Steve makes the conscious decision to stay, if only for a moment, “You, however, won’t be, if you don’t march right up to your manager and let him know that you’re gonna have to throw in the towel a little early on this shift. We have plans and—unfortunately, for the big boss—they can’t wait.”

“I don’t understand—”

He starts to say and Eddie can’t help, but soften. Can’t help, but fall apart under his pretty eyes and pouty lips. Gaze catching and tugging on his heart strings when he notices the hint of Steve’s own scars lining his neck. Temporarily exposed by the breeze shifting the collar of his work shirt. Hidden unless you know where to look.

Eddie’s always known.

“Do you know how hard it is to say ‘no’ to a guy who looks like you—especially when there’s a sob story attached to that face?” He leans forward, exhales softly as Steve’s lashes flutter out of control, and bites the opposite end of his toothpick—stealing it and sucking it into his own mouth, “You have a family emergency. You have somewhere to be. You’ll be back tomorrow or you won’t—that part’s up to you. Knock ‘em dead, sweetheart. Go on. It’ll all make sense later. Just need you to trust me for now.”

He thinks of the bats. Of the fight. Flashes of the unforgiving war. The smoke and mirrors and nightmares that never fully went away. The cold sweat and salty tears. Memories that no one can verify, because time and space have made them intangible. Like monsters under the bed. Creatures that stalk the house in the wee hours of the morning. By dawn, they disappear, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real.

There’s no confirming or denying. Steve doesn’t nod or give a final answer with his hand hovering over a big red buzzer. Instead, he moves forward, steps through the door, doesn’t look back over his shoulder to contemplate if Eddie was a figment of his imagination. Leaves without a trace.

Like he was never really there.

Like he’s a ghost haunting the untethered planes of Eddie’s memory.

—

When Steve climbs into the back of Eddie’s van, it’s comical.

He bangs his head on the roof. Mutters a curse or two. Almost tips himself backwards hopping into the passenger’s seat. The van shakes with laughter—amused by the boy who has grown out of his old polos and button downs, but has somehow managed to maintain his childish humor. Slipping back into an old tattered suit and finding it’s still tailored perfectly to his measurements.

“Are you kidnapping me? Is that what this is?”

“Pretty sure kidnapping implies taking a ‘child’ against their will,” he smirks at Steve rubbing the back of his head, “You don’t fit into either of those categories by my estimation. Try not to get any blood on my seats. I just got this baby washed—I mean, sure, it was ten years ago, but—”

Eddie slings his arm around the back of Steve’s headrest. Talking a lot of smack for someone who feels as protective over his aggravated passenger as he does. The van’s hot. There’s no A.C. It’s stuffy and awkward and all Eddie wants to do is kiss him.

All Eddie’s ever wanted to do is kiss him. Just once more. Once would surely be enough to quench a thirst that’s plagued him for five long years.

“People would come looking for me, y’know. I have friends. People in town who would notice…eventually,” Steve snaps, but his heart’s not in it. Sounds like a luckless penny hitting the bottom of a dried up wishing well.

“Well, you’re worth caring about,” Eddie feels the edge of a splinter graze his tongue off the toothpick, “Always have been. Shouldn’t be such a surprise.”

It’s too honest. God, he knows, it’s too honest.

Steve doesn’t say anything. Eddie half expects him to throw a punch.

A few miles pass and the only interruptions to the weight of their shared silence are the bumpy groan of a shallow pothole and the lonely howl of a coyote on the horizon.

Maybe he's been separated from his pack—

The thought is almost too much to bear.

“How’s business?” Eddie tries to change the subject, turn back the clock, pretend it’s just another weekday on the way home from school.

“Does it matter?”

“Guess that all depends on if you’re planning to stick around this dust bowl or not, but I don’t think you’ve quite made up your mind one way or the other.”

They’re almost to Eddie’s hotel. He can see the flashing bulbs of the sign down the road—The Saguaro Inn. It’s not the nicest establishment. The sheets have moth holes, he���s had to kill a spider or two, but the guy at the front desk gave him a six-pack of beer on the house and that, alone, was worth its weight in gold.

“Where else would I go? I live here. I work here. This is my home, now.”

If Eddie looked over and saw Steve running lines off a Hollywood script, he’d believe it. Authenticity evaporates from his voice like everything else that the blistering desert sun destroys in its wake. The only things meant to survive in such an unbearable climate are cacti, insanity, and dread.

Even the coyotes are lost and out of touch.

“Hmm. Funny,” Eddie raps his knuckles against the peeling steering wheel cover—needs to get it replaced, but in the face of an unearthed Steve Harrington it’s the last priority on his list, “We clearly remember things differently. As I recall, you’re a Midwestern boy. Born, bred, and raised on Indiana corn. Not whatever the Hell they serve at that dump you work at.”

“Fuck off. I’m happy,” Steve argues hotly, fists balled at his sides—tension working through his jaw like a flame on an inevitable collision course with the end of a stick of dynamite, “I’m fine. I’m not some damsel in distress who needs you to come rescue her. I chose this. I want this.”

It’s clear he doesn’t.

If only he had the wherewithal to look himself in the damn mirror and tell the truth. Tell it without leaving out the obvious—the lie written all over his face.

Steve undoes his apron, tosses it in the back, and throws a sidelong glance at Eddie as if sizing him up. As if searching for the minute details that have shifted, collapsed, grown in prominence. Like one of those ‘spot the difference’ games on a children’s menu in the back of an old diner. Illuminated by lightning bugs, grease, and splattered syrup.

Eddie doesn’t think he looks much different.

Eddie doesn’t think he’s much of anything to look at.

Old soul. Dark curls. A leather jacket that’s seen better days. He aims for mystery and shoots blanks. Comes up with mediocrity, a sense of macabre discontentment, the bitter taste that hangs around on the back of his tongue.

He practically jumps out of his skin and bolts when Steve, unexpectedly, runs a thumb over the Demobat scar on his cheek. It’s hyperreal. Throttles him through the past and future. Merging together hopes and dreams that he hasn’t allowed to see the light of day since those scars first got bandaged up at Hawkins Memorial Hospital.

“It suits you,” he hums thoughtfully, “I like it. Gives you an edge.”

Dizzy doesn’t even begin to define it.

In some universes, in this one, he might have fared better if Steve had the guts to hit him instead. To draw a knife, send a bullet flying, be a force of conventional violence rather than whatever the fuck this is.

This is worse.

This is a death he’ll keep reliving until the day he actually finds rest.

Or, perhaps, this is the afterlife and Steve is his eternal punishment for being stupid enough to care.

—

The short journey from the van to Eddie’s room is blissfully uneventful. Mundane.

They chat about vending machine snacks. Steve gets a candy bar and Eddie gets a pack of sour gummy worms. They split them. Share in the sugar coating, the sour bite, the milk chocolate that gets stuck in the backs of their teeth. It’s a dinner two little kids playing house would ‘cook’ up.

Only understanding later why their parents always advised them to save dessert for later. To end things on a sweet note.

Eddie’s room is 111 which prompts Steve to ask about El and the kids while he’s working at the keycard. The scanner’s finicky. Won’t budge unless the plastic’s inserted at just the right angle. It’s fucking annoying, but the place was cheap and, frankly, he didn’t know how long he’d be in town when he checked in.

He tells Steve about their accomplishments. Sounding like the proud father he never had—sounding like Wayne who made up for the lack of one. Max’s studying sport’s medicine at the community college. Dustin’s starting his summer engineering internship. Will’s got an art showcase coming up in October. Robin and Nancy’s new apartment is close to the city. Eddie crashes there most weekends and takes them out for coffee on Sunday mornings to show his thanks.

By the time Eddie’s done recounting the events Steve’s missed out on, their shoes are off. Tucked side by side next to the door.

Steve checks three times to ensure the latch is secure. Blushes when Eddie tells him its’ safe. Its’ okay to rest and close his eyes if he needs to.

Life isn’t what it used to be, but old habits die hard.

Eddie gives him the last gummy worm in the pack. Does it wordlessly. Automatically. Steve goes to decline, but Eddie does him a favor—closes his hand around it and nods.

It’s an act of love. It’s an act of faith. It’s the only way he can figure out how to say that bitter thing on the back of his tongue.

The mattress creaks obnoxiously to announce their arrival upon it. There’s a modest amount of space between them. Left vacant so their secrets have a place to run and hide. So they don’t have to speak them aloud.

“Do you ever miss it?” Eddie bumps Steve’s shin with his foot.

Cartoon sound effects curate the fantasy. Glowing orange and yellow from the rabbit eared television set—out of date and grainy, but that’s part of the appeal.

The screen casts desert colors across the headboard and suddenly, this is their life. A shared life. One they’ve built together. Nothing separates them anymore, but the itchy floral sheets and the inconvenience of clothes. Memory loses its ache.

“Which part?”

Steve looks at him through glassy eyes, marbles rolling across the floor.

“Whichever part you miss, I s’pose, if there is one,” Eddie shrugs and prays to a divine entity he doesn’t know the name of, “I’ve always wondered. ‘s hard not to.”

“Sometimes,” Steve reaches over the nightstand to grab a handful of ice—sets it on his chest over his shirt to cool off, “When I get off work. When I’m on the bus ride home and I’ve forgotten my headphones. Those times, I miss it—the sound of everyone talking over each other in Mike’s basement. It used to be like wrangling a bunch of wild animals. They drove me up the fuckin’ wall, but that sound? That sound was home. That sound was family, to me. No matter where I go, I don’t think I’ll ever find that again, but I was lucky to have it for a little while.”

“It’s not, like, that door over there,” Eddie points to the overly complicated latch that was designed to keep out intruders and cockroaches alike, “You’re not locked out unless you have a special key. The door—back home—it’s wide open. It always has been,” he studies Steve’s grimace; the evident pain he feels at that ‘too good to be true’ promise.

In the cartoon, it’s sunny. Steve’s bathed in a fictional variety of yellow optimism.

The character’s smile, laugh, and dance around in the middle of a playground. The swing’s never swing higher than they’re supposed to and conflict is resolved by the end of each thirty minute segment.

It’s a cruel juxtaposition to pay witness to as Steve’s cheeks become stained with tears. It hurts to see him curl up onto his side. To sit idly by as he goes about the wretched business of breaking his own heart.

“They’ve moved on, Eds. They’re onto bigger and better things. I’d just be holding everyone back. It’s okay.”

“It’s not—”

“Eddie,” Steve inches closer to him; knees knocking together—mirroring each other, “let it go. I’ve made my peace. Why can’t you do the same? Why can’t you let me–”

“Because, watching you leave was the single worst moment of my life. Worse than the bats. Worse than Vecna. Not a day goes by that I don’t replay it in my mind. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about what might have happened if I’d been brave enough to stop you.”

Kissing him is wrong.

Kissing him resolves none of it.

Kissing him tastes like sour gummy worms and chocolate and the satisfaction of finding a final resting place.

Kissing him is anger, spite, love.

Kissing him is the only thing that’s ever mattered and, maybe, that’s okay—

Steve startles. Keeps his lips perfectly still and Eddie thinks he’s really fucked this whole thing up, until he feels him break.

Until he feels him crack wide open like one of those novelty geodes Wayne used to bring back from his trips to mining country.

As the next episode begins and the cheesy theme song plays out in the background, Steve yanks Eddie towards him and sobs. They ground each other through twisted limbs, the rough meeting of lips, and the active avoidance of any moment outside of this.

They kiss and it’s both Heaven and Hell. It’s the promise of what could be and the mounting fear that the second they pull apart, the bonafide shelter they’ve created will crumble.

Steve whines openly. Sighs into Eddie’s mouth and slots a desperate knee between his thighs—a generous offering from a dead man walking.

Eddie grinds against it. Finally loses control. He rides Steve’s thigh in earnest—hips bumping, moans dripping from his lips like saccharine honey, cock throbbing and making a sticky mess in his boxers. Everything tastes like salt and sound and fury.

“Taste so good,” Steve licks over his mouth quickly, “Taste sweet. That part’s stuck with me—Eddie Munson’s real sweet.”

“You bit my tongue when we—”

“You probably deserved it,” Steve jokes and slaps his cheek playfully, “C’mon. Don’t stop. Kiss me, again. Want you to taste me like I taste you.”

He fucks his tongue into Steve’s mouth and the remembrance of a night he’s only been able to dream of, for the past five years, plays on.

He’s kissed Steve once before. Left a violet hickey on his neck. It was the end of June—concrete sizzled, mosquitoes swarmed, an ending should have been obvious, but it wasn’t.

They’d been scared. Afraid for the future. Afraid of how the past would follow them around in the shadow of tragedy. Afraid to press onwards, to lick over each other’s teeth, to make a mistake.

It’s different now.

Eddie doesn’t hold Steve like he’s fragile. He holds him like he believes he’s strong, because he is and he does. He’d have to be to start all over. To press restart in the middle of nowhere.

Steve’s hands roam his body ceaselessly. Wrinkle his clothes. Tug at his belt. He’s possessed by hope and the taboo Mirage and who can blame him? It’s gorgeous and awful.

“I haven’t touched anyone—” he cries, “I haven’t let anyone touch me since you kissed me on the night I left Hawkins. Remember? In my driveway–”

The confession sends a pang of agony racing through Eddie’s chest.

Nobody’s held him. Nobody’s kissed his neck and left behind a brutal memory. Nobody’s taken the time to wash the suds from his soft brown hair or dab the soap from his hazel eyes.

“Shh,” Eddie hushes him, laps at his tears and makes a split second decision, “I’ve never forgotten. How could I? I hardly ever think about anything else,” Steve whimpers from where he’s found a spot to rest his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck, “Shh, baby. Will you let me wash your hair? Will you let me help you clean off? Is that okay?”

Clinging to him and refusing to let go, Steve shudders and nods. Eddie knows this is significant for him—to relinquish the tired role of martyrdom and permit someone else to take care of him. To shoulder the responsibility with gentle hands.

Slack in his arms, Eddie carries him to the dim bathroom. The cartoon characters scramble around on screen—chasing each other around with hammers and wacky laughter.

When the water warms to the point of comfort, Eddie undresses the two of them in tandem.

First, Eddie’s shirt. Then, Steve’s. A breathy kiss in the interlude—they savor this practice. This delicate waltz. Their hands tremble. Steve’s shockingly sensitive. He breaks skin on Eddie’s shoulder when he circles his nipple and bites down just to tease.

“Nobody’s ever done that—”

“I don’t care about anyone else. No one. This is about me and you. Let me be the first. Don’t let there be anyone else. Me and you. Yeah?”

“Yes. Only you, Eds. No one else.”

“There’s my boy. My sweet, sweet boy.”

He cradles Steve’s sleepy face in his hands, pecks at the corners of his mouth as he helps him out of his classic Americana blue jeans. Levi’s or Lee. Brass buttons, deep pockets.

In the humid steam of the shower, they melt into each other. Eddie guides Steve to stand in front of him under the spray of the water and folds his arms around him. He strokes a hand over the flat plane of his stomach, toys with the pretty hair there, and sways with him to the tinny sound of the end credits. Conclusion. Finality. It is decidedly so.

He scrubs away the dirt, tears, grime, and misfortune with the prepackaged bar soap. Supplied by the manager at the front. Handed to him alongside the six pack and finicky roomkey. Steve lets Eddie rub out the knots in his shoulders. Thanks him unnecessarily as if this isn’t the greatest gift Eddie’s ever been given.

“Let’s do your hair, next,” Eddie presses lingering kisses to the column of his throat.

“I’d like that.”

The shampoo isn’t great. It’s in a miniature hotel bottle and opens with a snap. Smells like a pink petaled flower that would never survive this heat. Mildly delusional peonies with a whimsical flair.

“Tilt your head back. Rest on me,” Eddie whispers, flattening his palm over Steve’s heart—swearing an oath, “I’ve got you. I’m not gonna let you fall.”

He listens. Obeys readily. As if having waited his whole life to be instructed to do so.

“That feels nice,” he whines high in his throat while Eddie lathers the floral shampoo and works it through his hair, “Want more. Please, Eds. Please—more.”

“I’ll give you more, sweet boy,” he’s deliberate about the way he subtly scrapes against Steve’s scalp and tugs at the tendrils swooping around the nape of his pretty neck, “You’re so perfect,” he kisses his ear, nibbles on the lobe and revels in the resulting moan, “so kind, so smart, so lovable.”

Love—

Eddie wasn’t supposed to say love.

Shit.

He really wasn’t supposed to mention that.

“Fuck,” Steve sucks onto Eddie’s jaw—groaning and nipping along the full line of it, “Do you?”

“I’ve gotta rinse it,” he pretends to miss the question, “You can switch spots with me or–”

“Eddie,” Steve grinds his ass against Eddie’s dick and it’s no fucking accident, “I wanna come home. I wanna be yours. I don’t wanna be here anymore,” he turns so they’re face to face and Eddie sees Steve’s hard and leaking onto his hand where he’s lazily stroking himself as he crowds into Eddie’s space, “But, I need you to tell me. Do you love me? Do you love me the way I love you, because if you don’t—I can dry off, I can get my stuff, I can go back to the bar—”

“I love you—Jesus fucking Christ, Steve! Of course, I fucking love you! I’m not capable of loving anyone else! Don’t leave—”

“I won’t,” Steve caresses his cheek and wipes away his tears—the years of pent up heartache, “I love you.”

Breathless, Eddie’s back hits the cold tile wall and Steve’s fucking against him. Using the place where his hip meets his stomach to rub, press, and plead. Eddie grabs his hips, pulls him closer, gasps when he feels Steve spurt pre onto his pale skin.

“Say it again. Tell me why, so I believe it. So I know who to call when the voices in my head get too loud. So I can learn how to come home. Please, Eddie, please.”

Taking them both into his fist, Eddie pumps Steve’s dick alongside his own. Slow and steady. He thumbs the slit as Steve’s knees buckle. Grits his teeth and grins dumbly when his boy hisses at the heat and building friction.

“Honey, I dreamed of you. I ran after you a million times. I begged and prayed to whoever would listen. I’m nowhere near religious, but, fuck, I devoted everything in me to finding you,” he slots their lips together and feels Steve’s smile before he sees it, “You’re my home, Stevie. It’s empty without you. I’d rather die, than drive back alone.”

To have him like this is a million times better—a Goddamn miracle, compared to what Eddie’s envisioned night after night alone in his bed.

Moaning brokenly into his pillow as he chased after the punishing gossamer threads knotted in the hair of his phantom lover.

To untie him meant freedom and, at last, Eddie has the filthy pleasure of being the one to make Steve Harrington come undone.

“Gonna make me cum, Eds? Gonna let me be good for you?”

Steve’s thrashing wildly. Thrusting into Eddie’s fist and digging his nails into his back. Babbling sweetly about how badly he wants to shoot off over Eddie’s hands.

“Not yet, angel. I need something from you first,” he catches his breath, forces Steve’s hips to go still, and does his best to keep it together, “Promise me you’ll get in my van when we wake up tomorrow morning. Promise me you’ll forgive yourself.”

Steve’s quiet.

The water’s running cold—you get what you pay for.

The coyotes and cartoons fight for dominance. Lone rangers, lone wolves, trembling in the dust.

The dim bulb flickers—one, two, three; it’s fading fast—

In the pitch dark, Steve traces Eddie’s mouth with his fingertips, peels off his scars, draws whimsical shapes and crisscrossed stars with the very top of his tongue. An odd ritual and not a word to explain it.

As Steve finds the path to Eddie’s goriest scars—those that line his ribs—his curiosity gets the best of him.

“Care to enlighten me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Steve kisses the tops of his knees and that makes Eddie horny and madly in love. Even madder than he was with Steve’s cock in his fist.

“Not to me, no.”

His laughter is infectious. Eddie giggles—genuinely giggles like a blushing schoolgirl.

“I’m making a map,” Steve licks the head of Eddie’s cock and he shivers, “memorizing you, so I’ll always know the way back home if I get lost. It’s a promise.”

—

They stay up later than they should for a drive as long as the one they have ahead of them. But, it’s worth it.

Eddie cums down Steve’s throat in the shower. Steve thanks him. Licks up every last drop and kisses his knees like a forbidden secret.

Getting dressed isn’t an option. It never had a chance to be part of the agenda.

Steve falls apart in Eddie’s lap on the bed—fucking himself at his own pace. Deep and perfect. His moans belong on an album. Eddie tells him he’ll make him one some day. Burn a CD and terrorize the neighbors by blasting it in his car with all the windows rolled down.

Afterwards, they brush each other’s teeth and make a mess of the counter. Cackling like crazed animals because the light’s still fucked and Steve can’t find the toothpaste cap. They decide to leave it there—a piece of themselves for whoever rents the room next.

—

An hour into the drive, Eddie reaches for the map over Steve’s lap and looks at it for a moment before shrugging and throwing it out the window.

That gets Steve’s attention.

“What the fuck? Did you mean to do that? Was that on purpose? Tell me that wasn’t on purpose—”

“We don’t need it. I know where I’m going. I have everything I need right here with me,” he winks at Steve and steals a handful of gas station sunflower seeds.

“You’re such a sap,” Steve snorts, “I can’t believe you made me promise to come home with you and now, we don’t even know which direction leads to home.”

“I’m a romantic,” Eddie pats his thigh affectionately, “and, I may or may not have convinced Robin and Nance to fly out for a family road trip. We’re meeting them at the next rest stop. Nancy has another map. Hope that’s okay?”

“As long as you’re there. I’m there,” Steve takes his hand, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

taglist (message me to be added or removed at any time <3): @estrellami-1 @disastardly @ilovecupcakesandtea @the-redthread @asbealthgn @bestofbucky @vampireinthesun @carlyv @shrimply-a-menace @lordrrascal @jjoesjonas @malachitedevil @anxiouseds @gay-little-bitch @jhrc666 @pinkdaisies1998 @mcneen @perseus-notjackson @eiddets @corroded-coffin-groupie @three-possums-playing-human @stevesbipanic @plutoshelm @arkenstoned @indiearr @they-reap-what-we-sow @gleek4twd @bunnyweasley23 @livingoutload @a-little-unsteddie @novelnovella @rugbertgoeshome @neverlandwaitingforme @anglhrts @swiss-cheeze @wynnyfryd @loguine-linguine @josephmunsonx

[larry-is-my-anchor1]

Hey Tim, how are you? This may be a bit forward of me, but whenever you decide to make Buddie canon can you consider the following title for the episode: “Do you feel the same? Too scared to say.”?

I just feel Buddie going cannon still may not be in the works for the second half of season eight. It shouldn’t certainly be a big aha reveal either with teaser commercials. It should be gradual and organic. Much like Bucks and Eddie’s relationship. I feel like so much care and respect have been given to them. I think for the most part for all of the characters.

But also there is still so-much work to be done with Eddie delving into his feelings. Show timeline is only three months since Christopher left. I gather much more time won’t have passed when the show returns in March. (😭). I would love to see Eddie work on himself more and repair his relationship with his son. Perhaps get him away from his stupid parents. Who truly are not helping.

I think Eddie still may realize his feelings before Buck though. But maybe Buck will realize before Ed’s. But Buck does not want to be a cliche of falling for his best friend so he won’t act on his feelings? Or maybe Buck in his own time does tell Eddie, but at first Eddie isn’t ready because although he’s finally out he’s scared. I don’t know. They both have abandonment issues, maybe neither of them won’t say anything for sometime?? Their dance is moving away from the point of you fools have always been in-love, to why aren’t you fools acting on your feelings? Buddie is clearly end game. Or should be.

We need scenes with Eddie admitting his attraction to men. Either when he was younger, maybe during his time in the army. Or maybe when he was in high school during the period when he and Shannon broke up. Perhaps the show could explore why Eddie stopped going to church. And his sexual identity was the reason. His faith has no room for homosexuality. But his family and church were still strong influences to stay with a girl. And Shannon was just the perfect person to hide with. Maybe that’s why he ran away at first to the army. He just didn’t know how he got to where he was. Marriage, a baby and being an adult. Whatever that means. They all were so overwhelming. Maybe his parents made him “behave” like the man of the house because they knew for sometime that Eddie was not heterosexual. We need to see his discovery lore and why he hid himself. The shame society and religion put on queer people. But also joy meant being selfish in most religions. To act out on joy brings negative consequences. Eddie isn’t there yet with not punishing himself.

Also been trying to figure out who would want to kidnap Maddie? The kidnapper appears female. Though again not sure. Is it a random distraught person? A serial killer? Someone out for vengeance? Why Maddie? Why does the show have to be all full throttle with drama and also torture us with, well we’re not sure yet how Buddie will go? Why though? After all the eye fucking they have done for the last seven seasons!

Season eight seems all over the place. After watching and rewatching the show a few times I’m having trouble seeing how main story lines and subplots are woven together.

Is it weird I kind of got used to Eddie’s mustache. I know it represents something negative but I like the look on Eddie. He’d actually make a good Magnum PI. Just incase Hollywood wanted a spinoff down the line.

The waiting is torture and it’s only the beginning.

[karmathehalflander]

Some symbrock centric Venom the last dance fic ideas I have. Feel free to use these ideas if you want! (You have to send me a link though because I’ll want to see it) You can change any details and mix and match ideas these are just concepts I’ve been thinking about for a bit that I wish I could write but I’m to busy to.

Please keep in mind I wrote all of these notes out at 3 AM so if the wording doesn’t make sense that’s probably why. This is a bit long so I added a page break

1: Post VTLD. When Venom separated from Eddie he left a big chunk of his consciousness inside Eddies mind. His physical form is completely gone, but similar to how Venom revived Eddie, Eddie could rebuild Venom’s body. (In this universe this would not reignite the codex, that only happens when a symbiote revives a host) however, this process is going to be extremely, long, tedious, and exhausting. Eddie will need to connect deeply to his body and Venoms consciousness requiring a lot of meditation. They would ask for Mrs. Chen’s help and she would be absolutely delighted. Doing this would also require Eddie start taking better care of himself. And along this wild journey of connecting deeply with their shared body and mind their bond grows stronger and they learn to communicate and Eddie finally expresses his love for Venom. The actual meditation sessions could involve a lot. Visiting each other’s memories and learning about their time before they met. They learn about the ways both of them experienced a lot of isolation and trauma, Venom learns more about Eddie’s family and past relationships, Eddie learns about Venom’s past hosts and other symbiotes he knew. They talk about each others feelings for once, and Eddie learns a lot about human and alien anatomy along the way. This fic would be silly at times, angsty at others, but always deeply romantic and intimate. And of course Eddie succeeds in forming Venom a new body and the first thing they go with it is kiss for the first time.

2: Post VTLD Eddie is extremely distraught. He has a new apartment in NewYork but is not handling the loss well. He’s been drinking too much and barely eating. Anne and Dan are trying but they live a while away and are married and expecting a baby there’s only so much they can do. After a particularly rough night in which Eddie probably gives himself alcohol poisoning he dreams of Venom he’s there and telling Eddie “you need to take better care of yourself I didn’t sacrifice myself all heroically for you to go and die from neglecting yourself” and every night from them on Venom is there in his dreams. Eddie thinks he’s going crazy and this is a coping mechanism. Why is this happening? IDK it’s up to you.

3: similar to #1 Venom’s physical form died, but Vee left a part of their consciousness inside Eddies mind and has been gaining strength. Venom can’t regenerate his physical form anymore. But his voice is still there in Eddie’s head. And later on Venom could learn to project a physical form to Eddies eyes by messing with his brain. Maybe even simulate touch. you could tie #2 with this one. Like maybe at first to connect they need to be asleep because of the change in brain activity.

4: Takes place a few weeks after VTLD and Eddie has moved into a new apartment in NewYork he has a stable job but is in extreme mourning. He starts to feel sick and is progressively getting worse as the days go on. Dan checks him out and realizes Eddies body got so used to Venom just existing inside him as well as helping regulate his systems, eat bacteria/viruses, and aid his digestion that now that he’s gone his body is destroying itself from the inside. Eddie is dying. Various treatments aren’t working and Eddie is distraught that Venom died for nothing. lot of ending options. Venom returns and saves him last minute, Eddie does die of this but it’s implied they’re reunited in the afterlife, straight up hurt/no comfort heavy angst, the world is your oyster. The fic would probably be pretty short at most two chapters but it could definitely be stretched out way longer I just don’t have many more ideas for this particular scenario

5: Eddie sacrifices himself for Venom instead. Eddie finally gets to repay all the care Venom has shown for him. Is Eddie permanently dead? Up to you I just like this concept.

6: Venom is alive, but he was reformed from that small bit of biomass Venom left behind in the bar. Because of this, Venom’s consciousness and memories are still developing and he doesn’t remember much. All he knows is that he had to get back to Eddie, even though he doesn’t know who that is. They get to rediscover each other all over again as Venom slowly recovers their memories. This fic would switch between Venom and Eddie’s POV and probably start in Venom’s POV.

7: A small oneshot where Eddie confides with Anne about how he feels like he took Venom for granted in the exact same way he did to her. Hurt/comfort, you get the idea.

8: I just need someone to write a fic where Eddie goes to grief counseling/therapy lord knows that man needs it. Anne and Dan probably have to make him.

9: Eddie has a new apartment in NewYork and visits the statute of liberty every day. There’s another person that’s always there as well. This idea is bare bones but I thought I would include it just in case.

[babygirl-diaz]

I have an ABO thought and you're the only one I feel not embarrassed to share it with so:

I was talking with my family about how hard it is for some parents to watch their baby be in pain when getting shots at the doctors so I thought of Alpha Buck holding his and his Omega's (Eddie or Tommy cuz I see you like bucktommy) new pup and him trying not to growl and bare his teeth at the nice nurse while they administer the shot.

Just him being on the verge of tears when hearing his pup cry, scenting their pup and doing a rumbley Alpha purr to try and soothe them when it's over and he's just so distraught.

Meanwhile his Omega is just amused at his behavior like "Babe, from the way you're acting you'd think they just chopped our pup's leg off". Buck cries every time they go to get their pups shots lol and then cuddles with them in the nest for a long time after.

I love this so much that I ended up writing it as a fic! Also, it makes me so happy that you feel comfortable sharing this with me!!! Never feel embarrassed about liking something, my friend!!!

***

"Baby, you okay?" Eddie asked putting a hand on Buck's thigh.

It was then that Buck realized he was shaking his leg and biting his nails. Buck immediately stopped and cleared his throat. "Y- yeah, I'm good."

Eddie smiled, took Buck's hand in his, and kissed his knuckles. "I know you're nervous, but don't be. Lily will be fine."

Buck let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and looked at their peacefully asleep 2-month-old in her stroller.

"Are the shots gonna hurt her?" Buck asked innocently.

Eddie leaned his head on Buck's shoulder and kept holding his hand. "They probably will, but we'll be right there with her."

"I can't see her in pain, Eddie," Buck pouted.

"Yeah, I know," Eddie sighed. "Neither can I. But the shots are important."

"I know," Buck sighed as well and put his head down on Eddie's.

"Lily Buckley-Diaz."

Buck looked up when he heard Lily's name and got up. "We're here," he said. He took Eddie's hand and pushed the stroller with his other hand as he followed the nurse.

"I am Ashley. I will administer your pup's shots today," the nurse told them.

"Nice to meet you, Ashley," Eddie offered her a smile. "My alpha over here is nervous about Lily getting the shots."

Ashley smiled in return as she put on her gloves. "Oh, that's perfectly normal," she told them. "Mr. Buckley-Diaz, if you want, you can hold your pup while I give her the shots," she said to Buck.

"It's Buck, and thank you," Buck replied and picked up Lily from her stroller, who was waking up.

Lily's bottom lip quivered and Buck immediately knew what would come next. He immediately took her in the crook of his arm and rocked her. "It's okay, sweetie," he cooed to her. "All of this will be over soon, I promise." He sat down with Lily and Eddie took a seat beside him.

Ashley cooed at Lily before giving her the first shot. Lily let out a loud scream and Buck immediately bared his teeth at Ashley and flashed his golden eyes.

"Whoa!" Ashley immediately took a step back and put her hands up.

"Buck." Buck felt a hand on his arm. "Baby, it's okay," Eddie tried calming him down. "Ashley wasn't trying to hurt Lily. Lily just needs her shots, remember?" He gently rubbed Buck's arm and Buck started to calm down.

Once he was fully calm, he apologized to Ashley, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have lost control."

"It's okay," Ashley replied and went back to smiling. "I've seen worse reactions from alphas."

Ashley gave Lily another shot who screamed and cried again.

Buck's heart hurt and he felt like crying too. He gently rocked Lily in his arms and tried to soothe her by bringing her close to his chest and scenting her. He kissed her forehead as she continued to cry and let out a low purr from his throat. "It's okay, Lily. Dada's got you," he told her and couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes.

"Just one more, I promise," Ashley told him.

The whole time, Eddie kept rubbing Buck's arm to help him stay grounded.

Lily kept crying and Buck felt like running away with her, not letting her get her third shot.

"Okay, last one," Ashley announced before injecting the shot into Lily's thigh once again.

Lily let out another scream and Buck brought her to his chest and cried with her as he tried to calm her down.

"Baby, do you want me to take her?" Eddie offered.

"No!" Buck said through his tears.

"I am so sorry," Ashley apologized. "I promise I didn't mean to hurt Lily."

"Oh, don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault," Eddie assured her, although Buck wanted to protest.

Buck refused to put Lily in her stroller once they left the hospital. He carried her in his arms and soothed her with his scent, but it didn't seem to help.

When they got to the car, Buck gave the keys to Eddie. "I'm gonna sit with her in the back," he told him and buckled a crying Lily in her seat. He then got in beside her.

Buck cooed to her and softly sang to her with her favorite teddy bear but nothing worked. He saw Eddie giving him an amused look through the rearview mirror and frowned, "What?"

Eddie smirked and shook his head, "Nothing."

By the time they reached home, Lily had cried herself to sleep. Buck took her to his and Eddie's room instead of her nursery and gently put her down in their nest. He then got in beside her and just watched her with tears in his eyes.

The bed dipped and Buck found Eddie getting in as well. "Baby, the way you're acting, you would have thought that they chopped off our pup's leg or something."

Buck let out a low growl at that but Eddie remained unfazed. "Don't even joke about that."

"it's true though. She's fine, baby," Eddie assured him. "The shots are important and she's gonna need more of them in two months."

Buck frowned at that. "How are you so calm about it?"

The omega smiled and said, "I've already been through this with Chris and I know she's going to be fine," He reached out and took Buck's hand, kissing his knuckles.

"You promise?" Buck pouted.

"I do," Eddie replied and leaned over Lily and kissed Buck.

Buck kissed him back and pressed their foreheads together.

[steviewashere]

Thinking about Steve Harrington in the 90s again.

CW: Talking About Mental Health/Bipolar Disorder

Of him having these intense, incredible episodes of exhaustion and low motivation. Him unable to place why his emotions get so high strung, or even so low. Of him having weeks where he only has to sleep like a few hours a night and then he's up and continuously active for hours, unable to let himself have a break. But then he cycles into the exhaustion all over again, even though he thought he was "better."

This going on for years. Like a decade before 1997 hits. When there's less of a stigmatism around therapy (definitely still there, don't get me wrong), in which he finally allows himself to go. He talks about this in length after a few sessions, after opening himself up and realizing he can trust his therapist.

And then getting a handwritten diagnosis with two big words on it: "Bipolar Disorder".

When he leaves his appointment that day, he goes back to his apartment, where he lives with Robin and Eddie (they will always be roommates in my brain, fight me.)

And he just cries. Cries and sobs and sniffles on and off for a few hours. Letting himself be comforted by Robin and Eddie. Yet, also finding comfort in these handwritten words.

These aren't tears of sadness or some deep level distraught, it partially is, it definitely partially is. But there's relief. There's so much relief. That there's finally some sort of word (or words) to what his brain has been doing/through the last decade. That he doesn't have to keep explaining to people all long-winded why he is the way he is. That there's a term for it.

And since there's a term for it, there's also a way to manage it. Meaning, finally, there may be a way for him to live his life without this constant interruption. Sure, it'll persist and come and go whether he likes it or not, but he doesn't have to endure it so intensely.

Anyway. Just reflecting on how I've been feeling the last couple weeks, and this is the idea I've got. There's relief within words sometimes and I appreciate that a lot.

[rogueddie]

Vampire Eddie, Steddie Fic Rec List!!!

Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 🦇

soundtrack of our summer (side a)

hawkeyedkoi

For over six months, after Hawkins and the Upside Down merge, Steve Harrington is plagued by nightmares. Vines choking him, Eddie dying, and a host of other nighttime horrors. It all changes one night in October 1986 when, instead of the Creel House or the trailer park, Steve dreams about a warm spring day at Skull Rock featuring one very familiar metalhead.

Sure, his subconscious' version of Eddie Munson makes some weird comments about being alive in the Upside Down sometimes, but that's just his brain's way of coping with Eddie's death ... Right?

Words : 100,042 Chapters : 11/11 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Obey

Wrenegade (Wrenegadeone)

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t stop the fact that Eddie–,” Steve threw a hand out, gesturing to Eddie and ignoring the indignant look on Eddie’s face, “--wants to eat me,” Steve’s hand was back at himself, gesturing to his throat with dramatic emphasis.

“Just a little bit,” Eddie found himself saying while making a pinching motion, if only because part of him particularly enjoyed getting a rise out of Steve if given the opportunity.

Words : 65,042  Chapters : 17/17  Rating : Teen And Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Feral

TheDeathsWish

Eddie has turned a bit… feral after coming back to life. It’s understandable, what with the whole being a vampire thing.

What Steve doesn’t expect is the gifts he keeps finding everywhere.

Words : 10,970 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

Hunger

Ash_Fountain

When a traumatic truth is revealed at a metal concert in Chicago, Steve decides to reveal his own secret to a distraught Eddie sparking a unique relationship.

Words : 33,265 Chapters : 8/8 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

You're Divine

OonionChiver

Eddie can’t seem to look away, can’t bring his ethereal gaze back up where it belongs. Steve thinks he should run, he should flee. A tiny part of him knows Eddie will chase him. Eddie will catch him, outrun him easily.

It's more than a little fucked up how that thrills him.

Words : 259,574 Chapters : 8/8 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

My Blessing

Undreaming

Back when Eddie was still human, he used to think it would be incredibly cool to be a vampire. Child of the night, Nosferatu, all that stuff from his beloved books. He would be untouchable and the people who wanted to hurt him just for being different would wither away and die of old age while he'd still be the same. But as he's learned during last 80-ish years, being a vampire sucks.

Words : 1,928 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Devour

girafe13

Steve can’t look away. The sounds and voices from the church echo from a distance as the stranger leans in, propping his arm on the doorframe. Steve feels sweat gather on his brow. It’s only after he takes a step towards the stranger that he realizes he’s done so. Steve feels at the very end of a cliff, ready to fall willingly, anything to get closer to the ledge.

“Deputy ,” says the stranger, trailing off, pointing at his chest, not quite touching - oh, Steve wants him to, wants it like he needs air in his lungs - where his badge hangs. "Impressive."

Words : 36,899 Chapters : 10/10 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

A Secret In Your Throat

VampireEddie

Eddie returns - only it's not quite Eddie. Created by Vecna, a new being has taken over Eddie's mind - and he has his sights set on Steve Harrington. But what begins as a kidnapping may start to shift as Kas spends more time around Steve, and as Eddie tries to take back control of his body.

Words : 44,540 Chapters : 10/10 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

I didn't know that I was starving 'till I tasted you

Lihhelsing, tinkerbclla

Steve Harrington didn't really need much to be happy. He was finally signing divorce papers, ready to be free of his ex-wife. He liked his job at the coffee shop, especially because he got to do it beside his best friend in the whole world. And it didn't hurt that Steve's favorite customer, a guy with dark messy curls and a smile to die for, kept coming back to order his usual.

The only weird thing was that Eddie didn't seem to be drinking his coffee because his cup was always full at the end of the night. So Steve made his mission to find a drink Eddie would like, he just didn't imagine it would be something a little... Different.

Words : 16,063 Chapters : 1/1 Rating. : Explicit

AO3 : x

neighborhood gods

paxlux

It’s a legend. It’s a different kind of fairy tale, who wants to hear it. How one boy became wolf because of his stupid heart and the other became vampire because of his storybook courage. Keep an eye on the woods, there’s something out there.

Words : 13,335 Chapters. : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences

AO3 : x

How I’d Kill (to See You Again)

morningberries

“Are you going to kill me?” Steve’s voice was small, the question choking out of him without permission.

Did he even want to know the answer? It was probably as obvious as it seemed, as Eddie rose an eyebrow at him.

“Kill you? Oh, Stevie, I would never.” Eddie dropped to one knee by Steve’s side. His head leaned down, so close to Steve’s ear that he could feel his hot breath ticking against his hair. “I like my meals hot.”

Words : 66,826 Chapters : 10/10 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Steve's Got a Date with a Vampire!

inairbinad

Eddie immediately pulled something out of his jacket—was that donated blood?—then tore into the bag and sucked its contents down like, well, water.

Then Steve had questions. The first of which being a hearty, “The fuck?”

Eddie drained the bag and let his head fall back to rest on the seat, exposing the column of his neck. Steve swallowed, cursing his brain to pay attention to what the hell was happening instead of being a slut for once. Eddie lolled his head to look at Steve and gave him a gleaming, bloody smile.

“So, funny story,” he paused. If Steve had to guess it must’ve been for dramatic effect. “I think I’m a vampire.”

Words : 33,485 Chapters : 7/7 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

You and Me (In the Center of the Apocalypse)

novacorpsrecruit

“Not g’na make it,” Eddie said, his voice shaking at the reality they were facing. “Not both of us.”

Steve glanced towards the gate. Eddie’s right. They both can’t make it through. Steve wouldn’t have time to even help Eddie through without the lining closing on him.

If Steve was gonna go through, he had to go now.

He couldn’t leave Eddie here to die.

Steve stepped back, dropping the stick.

“D-dingus?” Robin called. Her voice sounding far away. “No — no, Nancy we gotta — we gotta!”

The mucus lining started to bulge with their attempts to break the seal, the lining growing stronger, thicker, like healing skin. It slowly started to scar over, dark like a scab. It turned dark, hard, and solid. Steve couldn’t hear them anymore.

“You dumbass,” Eddie exhaled sharply. “You’re stuck.”

Words : 58,194 Chapters : 8/8 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

Hbyrde

Steve Harrington is an animator. It’s a job that involves raising the dead; sometimes as a service for mourning relatives looking for closure, often as a tool for the courts to settle disputes.

Steve Harrington is also a licensed vampire hunter.

Two years ago, vampirism became legal in the United States, granting its undead population citizenship. With this new legal status comes a complication for Steve, as he finds himself tasked with helping the very creatures he is accustomed to killing.

Speaking of complications, Steve struggles in more ways than one when he finds himself working closely with none other than Eddie Munson, an undeniably sexy several-hundred-years old master vampire.

Words : 91,810 Chapters : 17/17 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

[911experience]

But what if Eddie is laying awake in the middle of the night because he’s so alone and he realizes the house doesn’t feel like a home without Christopher, so he rushes to Bucks place all distraught and Buck of course let’s him in. Then Eddie falls asleep at Bucks and, without really even discussing it, just starts staying at Bucks every night?

And then what if that causes complications with his relationship with Tommy because now they can’t be alone at Buck’s place and Buck never wants to go to Tommy’s because then Eddie would be alone? And what if this bothers Tommy but doesn’t bother Buck and Buck won’t tell Eddie what’s going on in his relationship because he doesn’t want him to leave?

AND THEN what if Eddie overhears how Tommy is upset about this arrangement and so Eddie decides to leave so he doesn’t ruin Buck’s relationship, but he leaves without telling Buck the real reason so now Buck is upset because he thinks Eddie just doesn’t want to stay with him anymore and Eddie is upset because all he wants to do is be with Buck?

What then???

[thelikesofus]

the forest for the trees

6x15 Coda | Buck POV | 1k words | Confessions, Getting Together

"I see you." Is the first thing that Eddie says when Buck opens the door to his apartment to find his best friend standing in the hallway at eleven o'clock in the evening looking all kinds of distraught.

"I–, what?"

"I see you, Buck."

"Well, yes. You're standing right in front of me." Buck says, stepping back to let Eddie in the door. "Why are you here? Where's Chris?"

"At Pepa's for the night." Eddie shakes his head like he doesn't understand why Buck is asking, like it's irrelevant, and he leans against the kitchen bench. "But that's not–. Buck." 

The way Buck's name crosses his lips is almost like a wine, a plea. Eddie's shoulders are a tense line while he rings his fingers together and chews his lip. Buck's skin prickles with apprehension.

"Do you want a beer?" Buck asks slowly.

"No. No, no thank you. I just–." Eddie stumbles through his words like they're too big for his mouth. "No, I just need you to listen for a minute."

He takes a deep breath and shifts his feet like he's settling himself.

"I see you, Buck! You are kind, and you are thoughtful. You–, you hate mustard and love cooking shows and you screw your nose up every time you see one of those little scraggly dogs but you'll stop to pat it anyway.

"You are always doing things for everyone else. You are supportive and genuine and you love my son, Buck. And he loves you too and I will never be able to thank you for everything you have done for him, for both of us, and I will never be able to make it up to you. But Buck, I see you, every part of you. Even the parts you don't like and even more so the parts that you can't see."

Eddie is red in the face when he slams his jaw shut and stares off absently at Buck's sink, his eyes wide and glassy. 

Buck steps closer to him, slowly, like approaching a spooked horse. 

"Eddie, I–." Buck doesn't really know what to say, what can he say to follow a speech like that while his mind is still reeling and his heart is pounding in his chest? This feels like something big, something important. "I appreciate that, but what brought this on? Are you okay?"

Buck has to stop himself from reaching out a hand to test Eddie's temperature because the man looks three seconds away from passing out. 

"You said, yesterday, at the cemetery, that you thought that you felt like Natalia saw you. But how could she, Buck, how could she when she doesn't know you?" Eddie chews the inside of his cheek as his eyes flit between Buck's eyes and his chin, never resting anywhere for long. "Maybe the lightning strike did change you, I can see that change but you are still you. Still all of those things I just said just–. You're alive, Buck, and I think you feel that way now too and you don't have to pretend to be the 'same old Buck' for anyone because you are him. You are my best friend, and my partner, hell, even my co-parent in all the ways that matter."

"Eddie–?"

"No. No, if I don't say this now I don't think I'll be able to, so listen. You–, just listen." Eddie points a finger at Buck and then finally locks eyes with him. Buck feels as though Eddie's dark gaze is boring straight into his soul. "I see you. I see you but more than that I know you. I love you. I am so glad you are alive and I never want to know another minute without you in it."

Buck feels it, he feels seen. But he's always felt seen by Eddie. Eddie always understands exactly what Buck is trying to say even when he doesn't have the words, and knows exactly what he always needs to hear. Buck has never felt dismissed or overlooked by Eddie and by God it's been in front of him all along and he realizes now that his vision was so clouded by searching for the things he thought he needed that he didn't realize he already had everything he's ever wanted. 

"Eddie, I–." Buck kind of wants to cry but if he starts now he's not sure he'll stop. Every ounce of pent-up frustration and confusion and hope and terror that has been fighting within him since he woke up in the hospital is pressing at his seams and he suddenly feels too small to contain any of it.

"Do you understand me?" Eddie continues and Buck suddenly realizes that he's right in front of him, toe to toe with Eddie's hand hovering by Buck's waist like he wants to touch but is afraid Buck might break, so Buck steps into him and wraps his arms around Eddie's shoulders, both hands instantly cupping around the back of Eddie's head as he draws him in. 

"Yes," he whispers in Eddie's ear as the other man meets him seamlessly and gathers Buck up, holding him back just as tightly. "Yes, I do, I promise."

"Good." 

Eddie leans back after a few long, deep breaths and cups Buck's checks in his hands. "You okay?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that. You're the one that barged in here rambling like a madman. Are you okay?"

"Never been better." Eddie grins. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"You are?"

"I am." Eddie says firmly and Buck's stomach does a summersault. "Are you ready?"

Buck chuckles at the absurdity but also at how genuine the question is and how strongly the sense of right washes over him.

"I am now." He says and then Eddie does. Their lips meet in the middle in a careful press, each of them unsure, out of practice, and overwhelmed. But then Eddie smiles against Buck's lips and they're pressing together again, this time firmer, more sure of themselves and each other, and then all Buck can feel is Eddie, Eddie Eddie. 

His hands on his cheeks, Buck's on his shoulders, their chests pressed together and their arms squished between them. 

They pull away for a breath before Eddie dips back in to leave one last searing kiss against his lips and then they're breathing heavily into the tiny slither of space between them as they both grin manically. 

"I see you." Eddie whispers and it sounds like I love you, so Buck kisses him again. 

[mazzystar24]

Okay this might be kinda a long ask but BEAR WITH ME!!!

Okay so 7x07 is titled “Ghost of a Second Chance”

Buck’s big gesture at the end of 7x05 was asking Tommy for a second chance.

I have seen some speculation that we are going to have some sort of major vehicle accident at some point this season based on bts photos and makeup trailer photos— so i have a working theory starting from the Madney wedding onto the end of the season.

Okay so 7x06: We will see Chimney’s bachelor party- personally im a big fan of the accidental marriage trope in fanfiction, but im trying to be realistic here. My theory is that when Buck and Eddie get plastered, Eddie starts to look at him weird, but is like “nahh no, that’s my best friend. he’s with tommy. he’s a guy. but im looking respectfully 👀👀.” They wake up the next day, and Chim is gone. They all immediately launch into “we gotta find him mode” and eddie stick with buck for most of the episode. As it goes on, Eddie starts thinking about all of his little thoughts about Buck from the night before and he keeps trying to explain them away in his mind- but his brain keeps popping back to the marisol of it all and he’s like “but what does it all mean??” anyway, they get chimney back, and things go well, but then the Buckley’s find out that evan is dating a man. They say some not-nice things (as they do everytime they’re around their son) and it’s not maddie who sticks up for buck, it’s not tommy, it’s not bobby or athena or hen or anyone because they’re all off having a grand old time— no, it’s Eddie. Eddie who will not even think about hearing anyone speak ill of Buck. He tells them about how wonderful snd deserving of love their son is and that if that’s from a man so be it as long as he’s happy— cue eddie’s epiphany as he mulls over his own words, glances up to the dance floor, and he sees buck dancing with tommy. But in that moment he sees buck. It suddenly clicks, and he realizes that he is screwed.

Now we have 7x07: Eddie is struggling to come to terms with what he has realized at the wedding. He’s shooketh ™️ and scared out of his mind over the fact that his best friend- who literally just came out to him- may be the person he’s been waiting for to settle down with. the other parentsl figure for Chris. someone Chris would want around. someone Eddie would want around. He spirals as he and Marisol begin to completely fall apart. At some point, they get a call- a helicopter crash. There is an immediate sinking feeling from everyone. They get to the scene and Bobby gives out instructions- Eddie and Buck make their way to the crash site, Buck terrified of what might be waiting for them. Eddie sees Tommy first- still alive but hanging on by a thread. This is where we get a delicious parallel to Shannon’s death. Eddie immediately is on the defensive, trying to keep Buck from seeing, but Buck is distraught. They get Tommy out and into an ambulance, but he’s been watching this whole time- he sees how Eddie so ferociously tried to protect Buck, and he realizes. As Tommy and Buck are in the back of the ambulance. Tommy tells Buck that he will move on, and maybe say something along the lines of “you don’t find it, you make it” (👀👀👀) and that Buck has Eddie. And THAT is when it clicks for Buck. Buck realizes as the first man he ever consciously considered in a romantic light dies in front of him, that what he has been looking for, he already has because he’s built it with Eddie (“you never know what you need until a light is shined on it” - oliver stark). But it can’t be because eddie is straight right? right??

Then from 7x08-7x10: we get the two of them dancing around each other. we get avoidance, we get longing glances missed by both of them. we see eddie have a multi-episode arc where he fully comes to terms with what he’s feeling, and he gets an emotional scene with Chris about Chris loving his Buck, and how Buck is kind of like his second dad since he doesn’t have Shannon as his mom anymore. On Buck’s end, we get a Buckley sibling moment where Maddie tells Buck that she’s always thought he had a thing for Eddie, but that she thought he needed to discover that himself. Buck is conflicted over telling Eddie because he just got what he wanted, even if it’s just in his head, he doesn’t want to lose it, especially not after just losing tommy. He is going to ignore it, but then we get another Loft Scene ™️. Eddie tells Buck that he is tired if avoiding Buck, and that he can’t lose someone else. He tells Buck that he knows Buck doesn’t feel the same, but that he would much rather be Buck’s best friend and have that be all he can be, than to not have him because he was too scared and pushed Buck away. He tells Buck that he’s Chris’s second dad, and that neither he or Chris can lose him, and Buck finally feels so wanted by his family- the family he made with Eddie. And he tells Eddie he loves him too. Then we get Eddie stepping in close, asking if Buck is okay with him kissing him before (something that has never happened for Buck, even with Tommy) and Buck tells him yes, and season 7 closes with them kissing in the same spot in Buck’s kitchen where all those years ago, Eddie told him there was no one her trusted his son with more than Buck.

Cue Season 8 finally bringing us the domestic fluff and tooth-rotting romance that we desperately need from the two of them and have been waiting for for SO long. Plus a few stumbles, maybe some doubts along the way, but nothing that can’t be fixed without some good ol’ “i love you to the core”

and you know what, because im feeling nice after my little spec sesh, when they go visit shannon’s grave to place flowers, they visit tommy’s too because he is who brought them together in the end.

I fully recognize how delulu i probably sound, but at the same time @ Tim Minear and ABC, i will be awaiting my writer’s credit on IMDb, and my check in the mail, thanks. 🙏

(also again SO sorry for the long ask I just needed to put this out in your orbit)

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥

Take my money like a lot of this I’d definitely love to read a fanfic of🫡🫡

I think the only part I personally don’t LOVE is the Tommy dying bit, like that’s just down to personal preference tbh because I love a more amicable breakup and they all are friends now type of thing ( most of greys anatomy couples style)

[lenaboskow]

Buddies wanted a cheating trope and given the latest interview from his past girlfriend... Ryan is the perfect man for that 👀

yeah so what we're not going to do is wish for a cheating trope. cheating is never something we should romanticize. not only that, it would completely ruin whatever progress we've made in terms of people accepting casual queer rep.

i don't know what interview you're talking about (tried to find it, but all i could find were the ones from 2023), but even if ryan is the "perfect man" to play someone who cheats, that doesn't mean he should.

what we can hope for, however, is a presumed cheating trope, if done right, and only if done right. (apologies in advance if the explanation doesn't make sense, i haven't had coffee yet)

there's a post going around (not sure who the op is, someone drop the @ in the replies please) about how buddie should get semi-blackout drunk, and while they're running around trying to save chim, the only memories they have is them taking their jackets off and then falling together on the couch, causing them to think they hooked up.

if done right, this means that buck and eddie are torn over this. like, i'm talking absolutely distraught. they can't look tommy or marisol in the eye the entire time, because how could they do something like that?

bonus points if tommy notices how weird they're being, but doesn't bring it up because its buckandeddie.

once we find chim, the story comes out, and turns out they fell because they were trying to put a fire out. they took their jackets off because it got hot. then buck and eddie start to wonder why their first thought was they hooked up, and bonus points if we see eddie wonder why he wasn't disgusted at the thought of hooking up with buck, just at the thought of cheating.

if they went this way, it would need to be made clear that buck and eddie are distraught, maybe even more so than tommy and marisol would be if they found out. we couldn't have them being like "oh we hooked up cool bet it was great"

however, i don't think we're getting that, and for good reason. oliver's recent interview, while definitely weird and dodgy, brought up a good point. they need to do this right. they're raising the bar for future representation, and we don't want it to start off on a bad foot. even a presumed cheating storyline would be iffy, and could set the wrong people off. there's also a fine line here where even if they didn't physically cheat, they could end up emotionally cheating, which is just as bad.

what i could see happening, however, is at least one feelings realization.

[mrsnancywheeler]

omg how do u think the chicago show went down for billy and his muse :0

bc that part where they’re performing More Fun to Miss and billy’s getting all close to daisy would HURT reader. maybe in this universe it really is all an act and she knows daisy wouldn’t do that to her, but she still gets insecure and gets even more confused about where she stands with him :( that was a line billy never crossed until now bc it was always with other groupies.

Or how eddie and billy have that moment on stage since 90% of their beef is because of how he treats muse reader😭

idk! i’ve been obsessed with ur billy blurbs so i wanted to hear ur #thoughts 🫣

-🦅

literally that song has so much sexual tension, it drives me insane every single time I watch it and here's the thing. this is the point where reader's given billy the tour, she'll be there for him during that and that's it. if he doesn't make his choice by the end then it's over and she'll be done for good.

but regardless, there is so much tension and the cycle has really started again on top of all that, he's mean, eddie is holds you when you cry, it's a rough time and by chicago it's all at the breaking point. so when he's looking at daisy like that, when he's so close, smirking, there's a pit in your stomach of realization, a feeling of he's never gonna change. and you get it because daisy is talented, gorgeous, magnetic, but he could leave you for her in a second and the media would probably love it so much more. and you're basically sick to your stomach

and when you find out that this is the end of eddie, that he's done with the band forever, and you're so distraught. because now billy is promising to go to rehab, to get better, but you're about to lose eddie forever. the chips are down.

"eddie, what are you doing?" you're in the doorframe of his hotel room as he packs up.

he looks at you long and hard, "I'm done with the band, I can't do this anymore. everything always goes his way and I can't sit back and watch him treat you the way he does anymore"

"you're leaving me?" your voice cracks ever so slightly, just like the rest of his heart.

"I'm leaving the band."

you're walking further into the room, closer to him, "eddie, I know it's been rough, but it's all gonna get better, yeah? just stay, please, stay."

"no, it's not."

"yeah it is. billy and daisy are both going to rehab, and I'm not sure what's going on with graham and karen, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. we'll all be okay, you just have to stay"

"I can't live in the shadow of billy dunne anymore, I need to leave"

and you understand, you really do, you want him to do what's best for you. but it'll break your heart to let go of him and have to wait to see if billy lives up to his promise. and you can't deal with all that without eddie, he's been your only rock. and you feel selfish for crying.

"it won't be like before and if it is then leave, but not now, don't go yet"

"come with me" and you're looking up at him and so tempted. because you do love him, just not with the same intensity you have for billy, but maybe billy will let you down again, so you should choose the stable option.

"what?"

"come with me, sunshine. I'll figure something else out and we can be happy together." and you're staring so blankly because you really don't know. "you know all this can't last forever, you were always going to have to make a choice. and it hurts me to ask you too, but you can wait for him or come with me. and that's that."

you're crying unabashedly now, "eddie, I can't-"

some part of eddie knew you were always going to pick billy, so he accepts it solemnly, "I know, sunshine, I know."

"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you"

"yeah, sometimes things just happen, I get it." he's got his bag strapped over his shoulder, "just don't stay with him if he doesn't keep his promises, you deserve so much better."

then you're kissing him one last time, he'll miss your taste, the softness of your lips, the way you hold his face. and when he pull away and looks in your eyes he remembers how young you are, especially when you a mutter out a small, "please, don't be a stranger ed's. can you call me?" how you went from a girl listening to a band to being in a complicated, turbulent relationship with a rockstar so fast and he doesn't know if he's ever pitied you more. in his gut he knows the band is over and you'll have to go back to a normal life after years of this, and he isn't sure if billy ever will be doing better. but eddie can't stay. and if he calls then he may never move on so he kisses your forehead, squeezes your hand, and is gone.

it really does feel like your world has come crashing apart, karen leaves, warren goes to be with lisa, eddie is gone, billy and daisy in rehab, and you're begging graham to just come to california for a while. he agrees for a few weeks and it does help you settle somewhat, having a familiar face, someone to bring you down. but eventually he has to go and you have to reintegrate into the socialite lifestyle of your father, have days where you're desperately looking for something to do because you're used to spending everyday at the studio or on tour. but now everyday is just endless nothing, getting back to your friends, laying on the beach, but you miss billy, you miss eddie, you miss everyone

eventually you do small modeling gigs for magazines to fill your time, people admire your fashion and you're in the media simply for being a young socialite, but parties aren't nearly as fun without the people you'd grown so close too. and I mean your heart literally jumps out of your chest when billy knocks on it one day.

anyways yeah lmao 💋