#EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE ALWAYS ENDS UP BEING SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT HAS TO BEEEEE

[therebelcaptain]

While I enjoy seeing Cassian having a deep and intimate relationship with Bix as it shows his vulnerability in a way we've not seen before, it also feels at odds with the image of Cassian I’ve had since 2016—someone who had sacrificed everything for the rebellion. The impression I got from lines like “you’re not the only one who lost everything” is that he’d been virtually alone and isolated in this fight for years before we meet him in Rogue One, his only constant companion being K2. It felt like he’d been keeping himself in a prison of his own mind for the sake of the rebellion.

But in this season, Cassian seems more than willing to walk away for the sake of protecting Bix a mere two years before Rogue One. We're at the halfway point and Cassian is a lifetime away from the man we meet in Rogue One—he was honestly much closer at the end of season one. And maybe that's the point—that things like love can get in the way and hold people back from doing what they must in a revolution—but like others have already said here, making it the focal point of both Bix and Cassian's stories this season feels like a disservice to them as individual characters. Hell, it's not even something that hasn't already been explored in the show. Vel and Cinta's relationship in the first season already looked at how complicated it can be to fall in love while in the rebellion, so I'm not even sure of the necessity of doing the same thing with another couple, much less Bix and Cassian. It seems like the writers room decided an end point for the two of them—likely Cassian being forced to kill Bix, if his last conversation with Luthen is anything to go by—before working backwards to somehow make it feel earned instead of constructing a story that actually felt right for the characters.

While this is essentially what Andor is an exercise in, Cassian already has a specific end point that they need to work toward, but the majority of the main cast doesn't. The next batch of episodes picks up a year before the film, so Cassian's going to have to lose everything in one fell swoop in these next episodes otherwise I'm not confident that he will end up where he needs to be by the end. There are things mentioned in the Rogue One novelisation that could be explored in order show Cassian's further evolution into a fully fledged rebel who's willing to do anything for the movement. Jenoport is one such thing that comes to mind, but that probably won't happen given Cassian hasn't even met K-2 yet.

On the other hand, there is a lot more room to play with Bix as a character. Her end point isn't set in stone in the same way that Cassian's is. They could have explored a myriad of things with her character working through the trauma of being tortured and finding her own way to the rebellion as a result. While that is a factor in her story arc this season, it's frustrating to see her relevance to the story be tied so directly to her relationship with Cassian. At this point it's clear that she's only being kept around so her inevitable death can further galvanise his commitment to the rebellion. After everything she's been through as a character, Bix deserves so much more than being fridged for Cassian's story arc.

To those of you who think my opinion on this is because I'm a diehard Rebelcaptain girlie, it really isn't. Like I've said before, I actually like Bix and Cassian as a couple and would have enjoyed their scenes together more in a different context like maybe in a flashback to their youth. I'd always seen them as childhood sweethearts who still loved each other in their own ways, but had grown apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed. That made a lot of sense to me. What doesn't jive with me is that we're seeing this so close to Rogue One where Cassian is supposed to be living for the rebellion first and foremost and seemed to have been for many, many years. And at this point, the gap between these two men is the size of valley.

[elenadoeslife]

❤️‍🩹

[dreams-and-honor]

I WANT TO DIIIIIE it's been like a week of nonstop attempted adulting and months of being stuck at home I can't fucking take this anymore

[usuallydyinginside]

"No One Mourns the Wicked" is about Glinda, not Elphaba

Okay, but hear me out. Wicked songs are so good at saying one thing and meaning something entirely different once you have more context. For instance, "I'm Not That Girl" is Elphaba singing about Glinda initially, then in Act 2 flips to Glinda singing about Elphaba. Because it turns out, Elphaba IS that girl and Glinda is not. When we meet the Wizard, he sings about how he always wanted to be a father. When you get to Act 2, you get the sad little reprise in the background music as he realizes that WHOOPS, he was one and he destroyed his only kid. "Defying Gravity" starts with "I hope you're happy" in the sarcastic sense and ends with them both using the same phrase to genuinely wish one another well.

"Thank Goodness" is set up as a cheerful engagement song where Glinda genuinely means "thank goodness for how great my life is" and ends in a place where she's insisting that she IS happy even as she realizes her engagement is a sham, her best friend is gone, and she's left with the Wizard and Madame M, who she doesn't even like.

You get the picture.

Basically, the whole musical is about subverting what you expect, starting with the base premise of "what if the Wicked Witch was the hero of the story" and digging in from there.

Honestly, I'd never paid much attention to the first song. It's a good opener, sets things up well, but it has some big competition with later songs. However, in the movie the staging and camera choices made me really notice it for the first time. Because you know what? Someone DID pay attention to that song, and you can really really tell.

For those who need a refresher, the lyrics to the chorus Glinda sings are: And Goodness knows The Wicked's lives are lonely Goodness knows The Wicked die alone It just shows when you're Wicked You're left only On your own I was always so busy noticing Glinda's grief over thinking Elphaba was genuinely dead that I failed to notice Glinda's grief over her OWN fate. The movie did such a good job with this because every time we get to the pink lines about being alone, Glinda IS alone. She is standing apart from the crowd who adores her. Standing above them. Standing at the center of a bunch of people yet still, isolated.

Because in the end, we know that Elphaba DIDN'T die alone. We know she wasn't on her own. We know her life WASN'T lonely ultimately. She had her flying monkey and animal friends. She had Fiyero.

And who does Glinda have?

Everyone, but realistically, no one. She is an ideal, not a person to most of Oz, just as much as Elphaba has become the token scapegoat. Where Elphaba is the "Wicked Witch," Glinda is "Glinda the Good Witch" - she is literally supposed to be the embodiment of goodness.

And what does Glinda have at the end of this whole thing (as of this song at least)? A disastrous end to her engagement, the death of her best friend, a sorceress who has hated her, demeaned her, and dismissed her from the start, and a con man who is also just a symbol more than a person.

I think it really hit me when Glinda throws the fire on the giant effigy of Elphaba. Ariana's acting was SO good there, because I'd expected us to see that private moment of horror or regret. What I didn't expect was the sort of determined and almost angry glare at the effigy.

But it makes sense. At this point, Glinda has realized that she lost everything and everyone she actually cared about.

As she so aptly puts it in "Thank Goodness"...

Though it is, I admit The tiniest bit Unlike I anticipated. But I couldn't be happier, Simply couldn't be happier, Well, not "simply" 'Cause getting your dreams It's strange, but it seems A little, well, complicated.

There's a kind of a sort of cost. There's a couple of things get lost. There are bridges you cross You didn't know you crossed Until you've crossed!

And if that joy, that thrill Doesn't thrill like you think it will Still-- With this perfect finale, The cheers and the ballyhoo! Who wouldn't be happier? So I couldn't be happier, Because happy is what happens When all your dreams come true.

Well, isn't it?

Happy is what happens when you're dreams come true.

It's not Elphaba's fault that Glinda has ended up this way. Glinda chose it every step of the way. Yet, if Glinda had never met Elphaba, (if she'd never known her, you could say), she might have stayed shallow and vain. She might never have been challenged to look deeper and realize how empty it all felt.

So as Glinda sings "No One Mourns the Wicked," she realizes that even if the Munchkins are singing about the "Wicked Witch," she's not.

She's singing about herself.

The one who traded her morals, friendship, and love for a taste of the admiration and power over those who don't really know her. The one who was so worried about being likable that she herself doesn't like who she's become.

Even after she makes things better for Oz and herself by sending the wizard away and getting rid of Madame M, it just leaves Glinda by herself as the leader and source of goodness in Oz. It leaves her on a pedestal she can never step off of.

It leaves her lonely.

Entirely alone.

[claramelooo]

WOVEN FATES (17/20)

Hey!!! What's up??

Let's calm down a little? Haha I know how excited you are, but today chapter is to lighten my beloved ones who still had doubts about R being more than a source. She really is!

I really loved this chapter. So sad, but so beautiful...

And don't blame me, blame my pms! (mommy is needy 😢)

Warnings: angst chapter! Proceed with caution.

MINORS MUST NOT INTERACT

Pairing: AgathaRio x Fem Reader

Summary: Agatha and Rio seek Lilia to give her answers.

Hey! Now I've a masterlist

Amélie

At the beginning, you were just a project.

A source of energy, young and vibrant, ready to be drained to the last drop. Until your skin paled, until your breath turned into a faint whisper, and your eyes closed forever.

They prepared you carefully for this.

The plan was simple: seduce you, shape you, enchant you, make you more and more vulnerable. Make you fall in love with the illusion, lose yourself in their touch, surrender without resistance. And then, at the right moment, they would take everything.

Agatha and Rio had handpicked you, they had felt you. Wanda and Lilia agreed without hesitation. They knew what to do. They knew your last breath of life would be the sweetest.

The purest.

Rio would be the last to drink from you.

The last to hold your soul in her arms and carry it with her forever. Because that was her destiny.

Death.

The last touch, the last kiss, the last goodbye. Rio had always been there, at the threshold between the end and the eternal.

But now…

That simply can’t happen anymore.

They can’t let you go.

Now, you are not a sacrifice.

Now, you are theirs.

Only theirs.

Rio’s studio used to be a sanctuary of chaos and solitude, where she externalized the rebellious waves of emotions that devoured her.

Vidal’s fate had always been complicated.

She hadn’t asked for it.

Carrying the souls of others on her shoulders, feeling their stories, their pain, their last words embedding into her… it was too much. But death never has a choice. Only duties.

And even if Rio tried to escape, pretend she was nothing but flesh and bone, just a woman with paint-stained fingers and eternal dark circles under her eyes, she knew the truth.

Every stroke, every brush, every color carried something beyond reality. Her paintings wept. Whispered. Shattered in sighs and sins that weren’t hers.

It was a burden. A destiny.

Until you.

Most nights, she arrived home at dawn, hands and clothes dirty with paint, eyes tired, chest heavy. Agatha would already be asleep—or pretending to be. Always one step ahead, always distant enough to never be attached to anything.

It didn’t matter. Neither of them needed more.

Until you.

Until Rio discovered what it was like to come home and hear hurried footsteps on the wooden floor, feel arms wrapping around her waist before she could even drop her bag. The warmth of your body against hers, the soft sound of your voice saying, "You were late today."

She didn’t know she needed that.

Didn’t know how good it was to have someone waiting for her.

Agatha, on the other hand, never saw herself as someone who belonged to another.

She had always belonged only to herself.

To her intelligence. To her ambition.

That was how she survived for centuries. That was how she built her empire, stone by stone, blood by blood.

Evanora made sure of that.

Her mother forged her like iron in fire, breaking any weakness before it could even form.

Love? Love was a distraction. Love was a chain, an anchor dragging fools deep enough to surrender to it.

And Agatha would never be a fool.

She watched her sisters burn, saw mercy being punished, saw how those who loved too much always ended up in ashes.

So she made herself strong. Made herself unbreakable. And for a long time, she believed that’s exactly what she was.

Until Rio.

Because Rio didn’t court her with promises or ambition. Didn’t try to conquer her with power plays or seduction.

Rio was free.

And Agatha hated that.

Hated the way the woman laughed without guilt, how she spoke nonsense without fear of looking ridiculous. How she looked at her without fear, without the desire to control or be controlled.

Hated the way, beside her, Evanora’s words didn’t feel so heavy.

At first, Agatha wanted her just to spite her mother. To provoke. But then, without realizing it, she found herself lost in those brown eyes and silly smiles. In the warmth of Rio’s arms, in the way she expected nothing more than what Agatha already was.

She fought it. For two decades, she fought. Because she wasn’t capable of love.

Or at least, that’s what she told herself.

And then came the truth.

Because the woman who enchanted her with easy laughter and casual touches…

Was death itself.

The shock was paralyzing.

Evanora would have laughed. Oh, how she would have laughed!

The brilliant, ambitious daughter, heir to her legacy, seduced not by power, but by the one force in the universe that even magic cannot contain.

Agatha saw her break.

Saw the sweet and calm Rio obliterate everything around her in an instant.

Not out of rage.

But out of pain.

The truth burned, and as much as Agatha wanted to deny it… she knew.

Agatha loved Rio.

Loved the chaos that came with her, and over time, grew to love what she represented.

So when you entered her life, Agatha thought it would be easy and sweet, like strawberry cake.

She knew what to do.

Knew how to manipulate, how to shape, how to take whatever she wanted from you without you noticing. That’s what she did. That’s what she had always done.

And then you relaxed into her arms and called her mommy.

And for the first time in centuries, Agatha hesitated.

You weren’t supposed to unsettle her, but you did.

You weren’t supposed to make her heart pound in her chest, but you did.

You weren’t supposed to make her want more than just possession, but you did.

She felt ridiculous for liking it, but she couldn’t help it. Couldn’t deny the way her voice softened when you said it, the way you fit so naturally in her lap, the way your eyes shone when she praised you.

She tried to deny it. Ignore it.

But every touch of yours was different. Every time you looked at her, without fear, without reverence, something inside her trembled.

Control slipped through her fingers like fine sand.

The first time you called her that, it was a slip.

The second, a test.

Now, it’s inevitable and completely natural.

Now, she doesn’t want to hear you call anyone else that.

Before you… they were empty.

Now, they are overflowing.

And that changed everything.

[...]

The bedroom lighting was dim, and they prowled around you like wolves. Anger exploding in their hearts. Agatha knew that your shabby little friend was a young witch.

Lilia had already warned her.

That’s why, when you asked for permission to go out with Alice after class, it felt like a punch to the stomach.

She could have said no.

You would have obeyed without question.

Because you were good. The good girl of your mommies.

But Agatha didn’t want to.

Something inside her weighed on her, something unsettling and unknown. You were young. You had the right to have a life beyond them. Beyond this.

So, she let you go.

And she never regretted a decision more in her entire existence.

In mere minutes, Agatha explained the situation to Rio, the unease burning in her mind like an omen. Something was wrong. Something had been building up for weeks.

Wanda, always watching, always questioning, always wanting to know why they were taking so long to “lend” you to her and Lilia.

Why the delay?

The answer was simple.

It wasn’t going to happen.

That’s why, that day, when Wanda appeared at the mansion, sniffing the air and saying how much you reeked of Agatha and Rio—it was enough.

Sharing you with Wanda was out of the question.

Rio went back to Los Angeles; she knew Agatha might be right. She had seen this happen once before. And it didn’t end well.

So they cornered you.

Cruel. Sensual.

"Go on, pet. What else did that little whore say about us?"

The touch was gentle, but the words were chosen to hurt.

You weren’t supposed to believe other people.

You weren’t even supposed to question them.

"She said… you only want to use me." Your voice trembled in a whisper. "That I’m just a source…"

The words cut through the air like a sharp blade.

For a moment, the world stopped.

No one moved.

No one even breathed.

Agatha blinked slowly, brows furrowed, head tilted.

Rio remained still, her expression unreadable, but a muscle in her jaw twitched.

The room seemed to fold around you, suffocating, heavy.

Alice was a young witch. Inexperienced. An insect compared to them.

And yet, Alice knew about the sources.

Alice.

Not Wanda.

Not Lilia.

Alice.

But Alice wasn’t supposed to know.

Because that truth existed only between the four of them.

Rio, who had never shared the burden of fate with anyone beyond them.

Agatha, who held her secrets with firm hands and a cruel smile.

Lilia, sarcastic like Agatha but level-headed.

Wanda, intense, ruthless, loyal… Or at least, that’s what they thought.

One of them had betrayed. And the puzzle that had remained intact for centuries shattered right then and there.

Rio was the first to move.

Her dark eyes glowed like a black hole about to consume everything. She stepped forward, the scent of a storm rising in the air.

"Which one was it?" Her voice was a sharp whisper. "Who opened their mouth?"

Agatha’s gaze slid to you, your exhausted figure on the bed, your body still marked by the traces of last night.

She massaged the places where the whip had passed, her hands light and warm, like those of an ancient witch.

She caressed each mark with reverent touch.

"My love," she murmured, spreading a little more ointment on the inside of your thighs. "We’ve seen Wanda do this once before."

Rio paced back and forth like a caged animal.

"But that was centuries ago!" She said, arms crossed over her chest. "And Lilia said she forgave her." Rio pondered, avoiding her wife’s gaze.

"Lilia is too sensible." Your mommy’s hands were on your back. Massaging, caressing, and she smiled when you let out a small sound at how relaxed you were. "She has never put herself or her own will above us."

Rolling her eyes, Rio huffed. "Love…"

She had always been against Agatha’s desire for immediacy. If she suspected someone in a situation, Agatha wouldn’t stop until she had proof. Even if the person was innocent.

Agatha sighed, pulling away from you. The warmth of her touch vanished in an instant, and she got up from the bed, crossing the room with the lethal calm only she possessed.

"I’ll talk to Wanda tomorrow," she announced, her voice as sharp as glass.

Rio let out a brief, incredulous laugh.

"Talk?" She tilted her head, her eyes burning with something close to hatred. "And you really think she’ll admit it?"

Agatha turned to face her. "If it was her, I’ll know."

Rio studied her for a moment. "And if it wasn’t?"

The witch smiled, slow and sharp. "Then someone will pay all the same."

Rio ran her tongue over her teeth, crossing her arms. Her throat was dry. "I’m not like Lilia, Agatha. I won’t forgive."

The subtext was there.

Cruel and clear.

The last time this happened, it almost destroyed them. Almost tore them apart.

Agatha stepped closer, aligning her body with Rio’s, the candlelight shadows dancing over them like silent witnesses.

"I know, love. And that’s why you’re perfect for me."

Their eyes met, and in that instant, an understanding was sealed between them.

They had played this game for centuries. Survived every blow, every ambush, every broken alliance.

But this time was different.

This time, you were at the center of the board.

[...]

The set was alive with the sound of cameras, directors, and extras in their proper places. But Agatha heard nothing. Saw nothing. Time had flattened into a single thought: Where the hell are you?

Minutes before the break ended, a subtle unease made her check her phone. A habit. You always answered. Always came to her. Always obeyed.

Message sent. No response.

Her fingers slid across the screen, calling your name from the contact list. The phone rang four times before going to voicemail.

Agatha waited. Took a deep breath. Called again.

Nothing.

Her jaw clenched, and a weight began to settle in her chest, dense as molten lead. Irritation burned her skin like a persistent fever, but there was something else beneath it—something deeper, darker, something she refused to name.

She felt the tension in her shoulders when an assistant rushed past her. Without thinking, her hand shot out, gripping the woman's arm firmly.

"Where is she?" Agatha’s voice was low, but there was a sharpness to it, something that made the assistant blink in alarm.

"Who?"

Agatha’s patience was a thread about to snap.

She inhaled through her nose, teeth grinding as her mind processed the absurdity of the question. "The intern." The title felt weak in her mouth. Inadequate. "I need to review the script. And she’s not here."

The assistant hesitated, discomfort plain on her face. "I... I haven’t seen her. But I can find Yelena to review—"

Agatha dismissed her with an impatient gesture, her hand moving to her temple as her jaw locked even tighter.

The break ended.

The cast returned.

The extras returned.

The director returned.

But you didn’t.

The unease crept into her bones, replacing anger with something heavier, more unbearable.

That was when her assistant approached.

An uncertain gaze, hesitation in her steps.

She extended her hand. In the center of her palm, cold and silent, was your phone.

"The security guard found this..."

Agatha tore her eyes from her own screen, where she had been trying to call you for the umpteenth time.

The world stopped.

Her gaze fixed on the device, and something inside her tensed like a trap ready to spring. Her fingers wrapped around the phone, gripping it as if she could squeeze answers out of it.

No.

It wasn’t possible.

A second. Two. Her heart stuttered in her chest, erratic.

Fear.

The recognition of the emotion made her nauseous.

She lifted her eyes suddenly, her voice sharp as an ice blade:

"Where is Wanda?"

The woman’s agent barely glanced up from his phone, his expression vaguely distracted. "She went out for lunch."

And in that instant, Agatha knew.

Tension shot down her spine, a distant thunder before the storm.

Her fingers tightened around the phone, knuckles turning white.

"Fuck."

The sound was nearly lost beneath the ringing in her ears.

Her eyes darkened.

"Cancel today's scenes." Her voice didn’t rise, but the weight in it was undeniable. "Everyone is dismissed."

She didn’t wait for a response.

She didn’t notice the confused stares around her as she turned on her heel and stormed out, her purple coat billowing behind her.

Her fingers flew to her phone.

Calling Rio.

Her car was parked just outside, but the keys felt heavy in her hands.

Her fingers trembled as she unlocked the door.

The phone rang.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Agatha gripped the steering wheel tightly, her breath quickening.

"Pick up, damn it."

The call was finally answered.

"Agatha."

Rio’s voice was steady, but Agatha recognized that hint of concern, as if she had been expecting this all along.

"Meet me at Lilia’s house."

There was a brief silence on the other end. No questions. No hesitation.

"I’m on my way."

Agatha hung up without further explanation.

Her heart pounded, her chest tight with a mix of fury and dread.

If Wanda had anything to do with this, Agatha was going to kill her.

Lilia was sitting at her desk, glasses sliding slightly down the bridge of her nose as she graded her students’ exams. The tip of the red pen struck a firm line through an incorrect answer, and she sighed.

That was when the front door slammed violently.

The sound echoed through the house, rattling the windows.

Lilia closed her eyes for a moment, exhaling a slow breath before saying, without even turning around:

"That was a bit much, don’t you think?"

Rio’s boots echoed against the wooden floor, each step like thunder ready to crash.

"Where. Is. She?"

Rio’s voice was a low growl, something primal and dangerous.

Lilia pushed her glasses up, finally looking at the woman standing in front of her. Rio was tense, shoulders rigid, dark eyes burning, fists clenched at her sides as if holding back violence by a thread.

But Lilia didn’t look surprised. Or scared.

She merely tilted her head slightly, her gaze analytical.

"You’re breaking into my house for this?"

Rio’s jaw clenched. She stepped forward, her shadow swallowing Lilia whole.

"I’m not in the mood for games, Lilia." Her voice was quieter now, more lethal. "She’s missing."

Lilia blinked slowly.

"And you think I’m involved?"

Rio narrowed her eyes, moving in like a predator scenting its prey.

"I think… you know something."

Their eyes locked in a silent duel.

The tension in the air was suffocating.

"Rio," Agatha warned, urging her to step back.

She entered the apartment, noticing the broken door, but even so, she grabbed it and fit it back into place, using her magic to repair the damage her wife had caused.

"I didn’t know you were a carpenter as well as a witch," Lilia mocked, slipping out of Rio’s grasp to sit on the couch, irritated.

"I apologize for that. But you understand what’s happening here, don’t you?"

"Understand?" Lilia scoffed, lighting a cigarette with the lighter on the coffee table.

Long centuries and she had never managed to kick the habit.

"Understand that you two got more attached than you should have?" She pointed the cigarette at both women. "I understand. It’s happened before, hasn’t it?" Lilia let out a hollow laugh, something almost melancholic behind it.

Agatha and Rio both took deep breaths, sinking into the plush cushions.

"But you should know I have nothing to do with this."

"Lilia…" Agatha began. "Where is Wanda?" Her tone was patient, too calm. She knew yelling at Lilia would only slow things down.

Lilia took another drag of her cigarette before answering. The orange glow briefly illuminated her face before she exhaled the smoke slowly, eyes locked on Agatha.

Silence stretched.

Time pulled tight like a thread about to snap.

Rio moved first. Her body leaned forward, hands landing heavy on the coffee table with a dull thud. "Answer, Lilia." Her voice was low, carrying an unspoken threat.

The other woman merely raised an eyebrow, looking bored.

"And what if I don’t know?"

"You know." Rio growled.

The laugh Lilia let out was short, devoid of humor. Her gaze drifted briefly, landing on an invisible point in the room. As if she were seeing something the others could not.

It was Agatha who spoke first, not raising her tone, yet making it impossible to ignore: "I don’t want to play with you tonight."

Lilia finally looked at her.

Her eyes gleamed under the dim light of the room. "But you always know how to play, Agatha."

Her name, coming from Lilia’s lips, sounded like a sharp blade sliding against skin.

The air grew heavier.

Rio felt her shoulders tense. It wasn’t an explicit threat. Not yet. But the game was being set before them, and the scent of danger was palpable.

"Her phone was found on set." Agatha continued, ignoring the provocation. "And Wanda disappeared at the exact same time."

"Coincidence." Lilia murmured, tapping the ash from her cigarette into the ashtray’s edge.

"Coincidences don’t fucking exist." Rio shot back, her patience crumbling.

"You’re right." Agatha admitted, making Lilia and Rio stare at her in disbelief. "We got attached more than we should have. Honestly, I didn’t even know that could happen to women like us…" Agatha trailed off, her eyes lost in the ashtray on the coffee table, watching the gray smoke dance in the air.

"Yeah… it can." Lilia breathed, sadly.

Agatha lifted her gaze, her eyes now firm and unyielding. "I don’t want the same thing that happened to Amélie to happen to her."

Oh.

The name was a punch. A dry crack in the air. A weight settling in Lilia’s chest, constricting each heartbeat.

Her face changed completely. The closed expression, the mask of disdain she always wore, shattered in an instant.

"Don’t say her name." Lilia’s voice was cutting, but there was something fragile beneath it. Something even she couldn’t hide.

The silence that followed screamed. It filled the room, creeping between the three of them, suffocating like an invisible presence refusing to leave.

Amélie’s name wasn’t just a name. It was a specter. A painful memory that had never found rest.

Lilia ran her tongue over her teeth, impatient. She took another cigarette, lighting it with the tip of her fingers. The flame flickered before dying, but the name still echoed in the heavy silence.

Amélie.

Agatha noticed the tremor in her friend’s hands as she brought the cigarette to her lips. "You still feel it, don’t you?"

Her voice came low, almost soft.

Lilia exhaled the smoke slowly. "What?"

Rio crossed her arms, her expression hard. "The absence. The guilt."

Lilia laughed. But it was an empty sound, dry, devoid of humor. "Guilt?" She repeated, testing the word on her tongue, as if it were something bitter. "Every single day."

She closed her eyes for a second, allowing herself to feel. And then, the memory came.

The golden hair—half blonde, half brown. Lilia never really knew for sure.

The soft texture.

The scent of eucalyptus shampoo, a common aroma, but on her, it was different. Unmistakable.

The white veil pinned to her head.

White.

Pure.

Amélie was light.

And Lilia?

"But no amount of guilt I feel. No stupid regret for not fighting for her, for us… will bring her back."

Agatha didn’t reply immediately. Her gaze landed on Lilia’s cigarette, on the way she held it, as if it were a shield. But it was useless. The past always found a way to reach them.

"Did you forgive her?" Agatha asked.

Lilia laughed again, but this time, there was pain in the sound. "Did I have another choice?" She tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling. "I was the one in the wrong. I betrayed you all. My family."

Agatha leaned forward. "Is that really what you think?"

For a moment, only silence answered. Then, finally, Lilia spoke, and her voice was a rough whisper:

"Fuck... of course not. I loved Amélie."

Her throat tightened, her lips trembling, but she kept going:

"I loved her."

Tears streamed from Lilia’s tired eyes. She had seen so many things, met so many people. But no one, no one, had ever compared to her Amélie.

"Of course you did." Rio spoke, her voice mirroring something she understood all too well. "You were never the same again, Lilia."

Lilia shook her head, letting out a shaky sigh. "She was so young. It was unbelievable that someone like her would waste her years inside that damned church. But fuck that." She shut her eyes, a weak chuckle escaping at the memory of the girl and how devoted she was. "I’d give anything to have her here with me."

Agatha blinked slowly, absorbing every word. It was like looking into a mirror.

If she let Wanda destroy everything… she’d end up like Lilia.

Or worse.

Because this time, she would watch Rio fall apart along with her.

Agatha took a deep breath. "Lilia…"

It was a plea. A silent request.

The older woman sighed again, her chest still heavy, but something in her seemed different. Maybe it was the weight shared between sisters. Maybe it was the unspoken understanding that their support for each other was non-negotiable.

Lilia stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray, watching the ember die.

"Wanda has too many dealings in WestView." She gave them an answer, but lifted her head to look at the women already at the door.

"Do you really think you can stop Wanda?"

Lilia studied the two women before her. The intensity in Agatha’s eyes. The ferocity in Rio’s.

The love and loyalty they shared, binding them in a way that neither time nor darkness could break.

For an instant, she saw something she thought had been lost long ago: hope.

Rio growled. "If she thinks she can touch her, she’ll have to go through me first."

Lilia smiled—a small, almost imperceptible smile, but genuine.

"Then good luck."

And with that, Agatha and Rio left, leaving behind the smoke of Lilia’s cigarette and the sweet memories of a name whispered in the air.

Amélie.

~*~

And who is Amélie? Well... I can tell you this story someday.

Tag List <3

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[phrandallanton]

I've decided to work more on my Eltingville Club OCs. Changed a lot about Vinny, and just wrote a bit about Joesph more. So here's all that! Buckle in, I wrote a lot. More then what I thought I would. Like a WHOLE lot more. More then I ever wrote for a regular OC. (If there's any spelling or grammer mistakes, please let me know!!! Thank you 💕)

"Vinny" (still not her real name lol)

Vinny is a pretty average, rather dumb girl who grew up in a southern town from the middle of nowhere and recently moved to eltingville with her uncle and cousin Joesph due to complications with her family back at home. Though she's not as much as a nerd like the eltingville club is, she is as ignorant and aragont, just not in the geek way to a sertant extent. Vinny absolutely hates anyone that she deems to be "living a better life" than her. This mostly includes popular kids/celebrities and people who are in a relationship. She feels entitled to the kind of attention they get and she doesn't think "they" deserve any of it simply because she's doesn't have it.

Vinny doesn't show it upfront not because she's actively trying to hide the fact that's she's a jealous hating freak, but because she's a coward and knows her actions cause consequences if caught. So most of her harrasment and shenanigans comes from her sitting behind her computer. Yes, she has "70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!!!!" She'll harras kids from her school, celebrities, and make tons of forum/blog posts about stuff like how it should of been her to kiss Han Solo and not Leia. (Yeah, maybe she still a hating geek like the Eltingville Club) Though due to her not being the brightest, her harrasment tends to backfire. However, suprisingly enough, her shenanigans will still remain anonymous for the most part.

Vinny only hangs out with the Eltingville Club because Joesph wants her to. She always ends up running her own friendships that she has due to her self destructive behavior, and the Eltingville Club is perfect for someone like that! She is rather possessive of Joesph since he's the only person who tries to include her and actually hangs out with her. He let's her paint his robots and treats her more like a sister rather then a cousin. Of course, this means she gets a bit jealous when Josh comes over to hang out with Joesph.

Which led her to befriending "Greedo318" on the internet.(I can't remember if Greedo had been around since before the epilogue or not. So if not then cancel this part out, or this can be an AU where Greedo did exist for this long) Vinny definitely has no clue that "Greedo318" is Bill and vice-versa. Worst of all she has a crush on "Greedo318", or at least the idea of him. Come on It's a dude that validates her feelings and bad actions, it was bound to happen.

Vinny enjoys hanging out with the Eltingville Club because of the drama. Oh boy does she eat it up. Until something is said about her in a negative way, then she's... throwing it up(?) She's convinced Jerry has a crush on her, or at least finds her to be attractive, all because he's the one out of the four that's the "nicest" to her. So take that as you will.

For Bill she goes back and forth with wether or not she likes him. He'll make comments that she'll takes personally which leads to her trying to ruin something for him. Luckily for Bill, it'll backfire on her just like how everything else does. But then there's been moments were they work together to make someone's life miserable, or even yap about comics.

She couldn't care less for Josh of course. Honestly she's a bit convinced Josh and Joesph might be gay for eachother. Not too sure on how she feels about that. Then there's

Pete, who she can't come up with a solid opinion on. She probably thinks his accent is attractive in a way, and likes that he enjoys horror movies too. (Vinny likes seeing people getting brutally murdered, go figure.) But he's still a bit too "weird" to her.

Other then her negative traits, Vinny is rather odd but your nice typical teenaged girl. She tells stories about her home town, like how the mayor there was an actual pig.

She also has a pretty low IQ, just as low as her self-esteem. So yeah...she's definitely saying some dumb crap and having things fly over her head. She loves animals, arts and crafts, and reading comics cause that's all she really had back at home.

She only recently got introduced to all the other geek stuff by the help of Joesph. Her main obsession is virtual pets since they remind her of the animals she took care of at her grandparents farm when she was younger. Her favorites are her Tamagochi and Furby. She probably also has Neopets and later on got a TON of Webkinz. She would also totally play the heck out of the sims games.

Joesph McGee

Joesph is still the robotics/technology freak he is. The Eltingville Club at this point is probably questioning if he's neodivergent. He's the friendliness guy to walk the planet for the most part. He hates it when the club fights and breaks up. Then gets happy when they make up, thinks it's going to stay that way, and the pattern continues. ("Bill, look at me, this isn't you 🥺" type ahh)

His best friend is Josh, cause of course the two sci-fi nerds are friends! He tends to take his side for most of their arguments and when the club breaks up he's hanging out with him afterwards. He's pretty close with Jerry too, considering they're the only two pretty sane ones from the group. Also Joesph admires how good of a dungeon master Jerry is. He thinks Jerry is cool.

Then there's Vinny of course, he adores her and is pretty protective when it comes to her. He doesn't like that she acts out the way she does, though he doesn't even know half of it. He just wants the best for her knowing her problems just like everyone else in his life.

He's chill with Pete, he likes that he can just pick him up with little to no effort. Pete doesn't like it. Though Pete's liking towrds gore does make him a bit scared.

Bill is a whole other can of worms, Joesph genuinely believes he's a good person that's going to change. Who's gonna tell him? Actually, don't tell him. Let him be delusional.

He's also pretty good friends with IronJaw too, he doesn't mind the spit. Actually, he thinks his braces are sick and wishes he could have them. Would make him look like he had some sort of cool technology thing in his mouth. They don't hang out much but he enjoys talking to him when they're at the comic book store or at school.

Joesph can have his nerd rage moments, though it's very VERY rare. It would take a lot for him to genuinely get mad, and even then afterwards he'll probably end up crying. Most girls actually find him attractive compared to the other guys, until he starts yapping, then they hate him. Poor Joe. He has more potential then the other guys yet still can't get any action. Not that he really cares though, as long has he has robots, he's good.

[vamprincessrina]

𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖔 𝕱𝖎𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝕾𝖍𝖎𝖋𝖙 (𝕺𝖗 𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝕴 𝕯𝖎𝖉)

I've always struggled with the concept of reality shifting. I had no problem when it came to manifesting in the “confines” of my current reality, but for some reason I could not, for the life of me, apply everything I knew when it came to making that bigger shift. I took breaks, I tried to “change” myself: I tried what felt like everything. And that was the issue. 

I feel like there's a big emphasis in the community on not over-consuming or over-complicating shifting, but that often left my mind wondering why? I was supposed to “know” how to do it, “it's natural”, but my ego had disagreements. I think in the shifting community and, in a broader sense the manifestation community, has this constant reiteration of not questioning yourself, and just “letting it happen”. And of course I don't think that's bad advice necessarily. But, for me (and I'm sure others), that was something that never sat well until I learned better. It was creating so much resistance for me that ended up holding me back for longer than necessary. 

Do not ignore that whisper of doubt inside of you. No, your doubts do not matter. But, that should not be conflated with ignoring them. You will doubt yourself. Your ego exists simultaneously with your highest self. Something that I did for a long time was thinking that I had to completely eliminate that in order to shift. Not only was I creating more doubts and confusion within myself, but I was imprinting in my subconscious that I had to become something in order to shift. 

You can literally be the biggest skeptic on planet earth and if you still persist despite that fact, you can still shift and manifest. Imagine using that energy? 

In the LOA community, it's often encouraged to “live in the end”. You're supposed to feel the feelings of having your desire, right? So, that would mean (or at least it did for me when it came to shifting) that I would have to be happy all the time, right? This can be incredibly misleading, I think, and it's funny how I let it be a factor in my own life when it came to shifting despite being a practiced manifestor. Thinking that you have to be happy all the time can be a very toxic mindset to have with yourself. First off, it can lead to a limerence relationship with shifting; conditioning yourself to believe that in order to be happy it requires being in that reality. Especially if, like me, you have a history with depression. I was basically telling myself that “I wasn't good enough to live in this reality unless I felt like ___.". It can also create a negative relationship with other emotions. No emotion is "good" or "bad". All parts of the ego exist to protect you. I have a post on this that I'd really encourage you to read if you struggle with this.

Another issue that came from my approach was, for the longest time, I was focusing on one reality that I wanted to shift to and told myself through constant affirmations and meditation that I was already there, "I've already shifted", etc. And while, YES, I knew that was true in the 4D, I was not able to shift for the entire year I persisted until I finally gave up. Do you know why it didn't work for me?

Because I wasn't able to fully convince myself that was true. And because of that, I wondered what was wrong with me. Surely, the method was fullproof, right? I told myself that it was because of my maladaptive daydreaming that I couldn't, I told myself it was because I wasn't in a good mental state that I couldn't. I started to unintentionally condition myself to think that anytime that I wasn't living in the end, I wasn't going to shift. I forgot the key part of it: letting go. But I couldn't. I had become so insistent on shifting realities and so stubborn in persisting in the way that I was doing it that it was detrimental to me. I didn't realize that I was boxing myself in: that I was telling myself, subconsciously, that I have to think like "THIS" to shift. I was also only limiting myself to the one reality that I was trying to shift to. I was limiting myself. 

It was ridiculous, really, that it felt so easy to manifest everything else, but not this one thing. It was no wonder I was never shifting. It was no wonder I was constantly crashing and relapsing on self-destructive habits after having a good stint. I was ignoring my ego. I was telling myself, and living, a constant lie. I was so incredibly hard on myself and was teaching myself to believe that I wasn't good enough because I “couldn't” shift which was a problem for multiple reasons.

It was only when I reached the bottom again that I decided to stop being so hard on myself. I stopped telling myself that I had to do x,y,z. I stopped telling myself that the 3D doesn't matter. I love everyone, but I do take a big problem with telling people to ignore the 3D without expanding upon it. Yes. I could probably find a handful of my own posts where I said the same thing. Let me be clear: no, the 3D does not matter. Because it does not define you. However, do not fucking ignore it. Do not neglect yourself. Stop treating the 3D like it's your mortal enemy. 

The 3D is your FRIEND. She is showing you the OLD PROGRAM. Now I want to pause to bring up another issue I had. And that is, putting all the weight on your own shoulders. “Oh, it must be my fault if the 3D isn't shifting”, “I'm not doing it right”, “This isn't working”. Stop, stop, stop. 

Something that often led me astray was conflating “the 3D shows your past beliefs” with “time does not exist”. I used to be so confused by that. Okay, if time doesn't exist and everything is just a “state of being”, and if the “3D is showing my past beliefs”, how does that work? It didn't seem to matter for me when manifesting. I could tell myself that things were going on in the background and I could trust the process. But, when it came to shifting, I kept wondering when the 3D would reflect. It was harder to trust the process because it wasn't like there would be a gradual change like with manifesting. I was expecting to just wake up in the reality I was manifesting and it started to grow increasingly frustrating when I didn't and I continued to tell myself that I was in fact there. 

Once again, I didn't realize I was boxing myself in. I had an EXPECTATION of what the manifestation was going to look like, while manifesting an open ended result to shifting. I kept manifesting that I was in ___ reality, but my ego was like no you fucking aren't? Basically, I was manifesting reality shifting in a way that didn't make sense for me. And by doing that, I was creating resistance.

And while, yes, manifesting that you have something in the 4D works. It IS how you can manifest with LOA. You DO have it in the 4D. It wasn't working for me when I was expecting a stark visual difference. What I'm trying to say is that, my approach to reality shifting using LOA wasn't working for me in the way that I was doing it.

So I took a step back. I got out my journal and I started thinking back on all that I knew. This is what I want to emphasize and what I think isn't said well enough by many. When we say each shifting journey is personal. WE MEAN IT. It took me way too fucking long of being stubborn with Neville Goddard's teachings and what my OWN idea of manifestation was and applying that to reality shifting before I reanalyzed.

If you are a skeptic, NOTE THAT. If you are depressed, NOTE THAT TOO. If you are telling yourself that you're in a different reality than you currently are and you're a naturally skeptic person (this is a self call out), then NO WONDER IT'S NOT WORKING. I was so stubborn in doing it one way until I had to break it down to basics and say, "Oh yeah there's more than one way to manifest so there's a lot more than one way to shift too." No kidding, right? But sometimes it's easy to forget these basics, even when you have experience.

The whole idea of over-complicating shifting (and manifestation) comes more from how much resistance you're creating for yourself and less what you do. I thought that if I tried to do "shifting attempts" then I would be over-complicating it. When in reality, I was over-complicating shifting by trying to constantly affirm something that I don't think I'd ever believe.

So, what did I do? First off, I decided that from now on I would stop telling myself I was in one reality and just "wait" for it to change. I'm sure that works for some people but it sure as hell wasn't working for me. I decided, instead, that I would meditate for a couple minutes before bed and just think about my desired reality. I would only give myself a little bit of time. By doing this, I would be affirming that it should NOT take more time than that to shift. And that, in that time, whatever I did should be enough. If when I stopped and opened my eyes I was still in my old reality, fine! All that means is that there's still more reprogramming to do. Doesn't mean that I'm doing anything wrong.

I would remind myself this at the time of the attempt and throughout the day. No matter how I felt, I would tell myself that, with enough persistence, the time would come where I WOULD shift just like that. I could also just roll over and shift in my sleep. By designating specific times to shift, I stopped letting it rule my life and beating myself up over it.

I would affirm "I believe I CAN shift", "failure does not faze me". Things like that. I also wanted to keep the "attempts" short, because I didn't want to come out of it with anxiety over not shifting. Was I allowed to be upset? YES. I stopped telling myself what I could or couldn't feel. I didn't need a reason to shift to a particular reality. I also no longer only had to focus on one reality by beginning to shift this way. If I wanted to attempt to shift to a FAME DR one night? Sure! If I wanted to attempt to shift to DCU the next? Great!

I stopped defining the "where" I needed to go and more so focused on the "how", if that makes sense. I told myself that this was about believing I can shift, NOT where I can shift. And so I persisted in this. If I decided to take a couple nights off, fine. It still was allowed to happen randomly when I slept. In fact, another thing I started to convince myself was that dreaming was a form of shifting and I sure as hell knew I could dream every night.

Of course, shifting is different than dreaming. But, I always had very vivid dreams. So, I just reminded myself that they're likely controlled by the same part of the brain and that dreaming is just a very loose, uncontrolled, and unintentional shift. And in a way, I do believe that it is. For me, a logician, I knew that I dreamed, lucid dreamed, and even astral projected once before, so it didn't seem unrealistic that shifting was real and was something I could do.

I was reprogramming my mind by doing something hands-on. By doing something measurable and tangible. Which I felt, with something like this, I needed to do. I'm a skeptic person. I have trust issues. If I created a controlled environment for myself to shift, then it could happen. And it did.

I needed trust in order to shift. I needed trust in order to manifest. My way of achieving those two things ended up being different and that's okay. I manifest a little differently than I reality shift. I stopped forcing myself to think that it all had to work the same way because I was limiting myself by doing that. I get depressed. I have trust issues. And that is okay. I still deserve to experience other realities and I don't have to do jack shit. I could have the worst day of my life and I can still meditate 5 minutes before bed and shift just like that. This is the new story I started to imprint on my subconscious.

Failure doesn't matter because I know that in the 4D this method WORKS and the universe is ALWAYS conspiring in my favor. I affirmed this. I reminded myself of this when I got doubts. My doubts were, and are, valid. All I needed to do was continue to have those attempts. Continue to believe that the 3D WILL update. That there is divine timing and have TRUST in that. To trust IS to surrender. I was finally able to surrender when it came to shifting by doing this method. And sure enough, I eventually did shift.

I hope this helps all of those who are frustrated and at their wit's end. Out of anyone else, you deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone just as you are.

 𝕽𝖎𝖓𝖆.

[helliloveit]

Living Room Flow

This was kind of a disaster, longer than i thought it would be, but i like it. I don’t know if Frank is mean mean in here, but whatever this is i live for it. Feedback is always welcomed, kisses. English is not my native tongue.

Frank Castle x f!reader

Warnings: mdni, +18, Mean!Frank (half) he softens as the writing progresses, brat!reader, cop!reader, situationship, spanking, cursing (Frank is a sailor), smut with a plot(?, angst, rough, not a full happy ending.

W.c: 3.2k

Summary: It’s been a complicated day, you are not the best version of yourself, Frank isn’t patient with you this time. You don’t complain even if your feelings get in the way.

You hear the roaring of his truck outside the house and that made you jump over your seat in the couch. Yes, you had a dense afternoon, everything felt suffocating, your job that, thankfully you got out of early today left you with a bunch of tasks you even didn’t know how to start with. The fun thing is that every single friday is like this, and every single time of these Frank went even more bossy than he already is.

He is not your boyfriend, no, there is no love in the way you treat each other, you let him toss around your papers files as long as he offers you some protection, a deal.

Yet, you can’t deny he is sort of endearing, since you have nice amount of time knowing each other, besides the rare ‘friendship’ you had built, he stealthily made his way inside your life, your actions and your decisions in order to: “Ya needa be wise in this, anything you do wrong its a fuckin’ rope around ya neck.” Or whatever he says. Doesn’t matter how many times you roll your eyes, he’s right, being a detective in this city is not merely safe or fair.

Is not fair when you have to read and read and whatever conclusions you get with are rejected because there’s not enough proofs, even if you explained every detail thoroughly, a week of work, all destroyed in front of your face, and that’s exactly what happened to you today.

Something worth adding is that recently he drove his way into your desires too, you don’t even remember when it got to a breaking point, the only thing you know is that Frank carved his name with flames on the skin of your abdomen, he left you like a puzzle’s abandoned piece and you're sure you'll never find a half that fits you like he does. You are screwed. So much more when you realize his sex drive its lower than your willings to work, and that’s bold statement.

That’s also the reason of your bitterness, let’s be clear, you are not sweet, even less with Frank, that man has a sharp tongue, and he does use it. But today, you got to admit you were insufferable. So much that Frank better left the hustle for later, he could handle your back handed remarks, your disdainful looks too, but don’t you dare pushing him or swatting at him for tell you what is right.

The spare key jingles, then he enters the warm illuminated living room as you watch him from your place accommodated on the maroon sofa, the atmosphere grows heavier by seconds, the scowl of his face looks deeper and his movements determined, the creak of the wooden floor under his boots combined with the rumbling of the tv are playing an extra number on your anxiety.

— “You got the files, do you?” His harsh voice vibrates through the upholstered walls then your ears.

— “Yeah, they are in the kitchen aisle.” Your response comes out dry.

He looks back at you confused, where he’s standing he can clearly see the kitchen aisle… empty.

On Frank’s side, if he says he’s not upset with you, that’s pure bullshit. Already lost 5 of his seven patience bars trying to work along with you. And the way you inhale deeply and stand up from the cushions to stamp the documents where they are supposed to be, he already lost two more.

He leaves his jacket on the rack besides the entrance and walks down the little curve to the marbled surface. He exhales stressed when he finishes to read all the titles and none of them are the ones he needed.

—“Sweetheart… i know you are pressed but,” he raises the papers, kind of excusing himself, even if he’s tired of your attitude he doesn’t want to make you sicker.

—“These are not the ones i asked for.” And he attached to his very submissive tone.

That didn’t had any effect on you though, you went back, snatched the goddamn sheets out of his hands, checked for the right name and threw the new folder over the aisle again.

—“Let me know if you want me to read ‘em for you too.” You rumbled annoyed as you turned around to go away.

Hollow silence fills the space.

—“Hah, you little fuck. You stop right there.” It didn’t came out loud, if you wasn’t so attentive at his reaction you wouldn’t have noticed. You look back disgusted, who does he think he is to command you like that? You scoff and keep your tracks and that’s when he raises his voice.

—“I said stop right there, y’ didn’t hear me?” It was too much for you, you weren’t exactly obedient but for whatever reason you froze not so far from where you turned your back at him. You hear him walk, his heavy steps reaching you, suddenly your head feels heated, you love the thrill, and he always knows how to deliver it perfectly.

—“The fuck is wrong with you now, huh?” He lowers his head to get to your eye level. “That attitude is gonna get you places.” He slowly says as his arms rest behind your sides, grasping the cold aisle behind you, one of his hands moved to your face, fixing your jaw in his direction, dwarfing it in his pretty big extension.

—“Think you can blame your pent up frustration on me.” He nods slowly, analyzing every feature in you, something he’s pretty good at.

—“Let go.” You cling to the last bit of rebellion left in your body, lift your chin and slap his hand away with a curse, he backs up, chuckling. Oh, he’s amused. And you’re not sure if he likes the challenge or simply is hilarious to him to witness how deep into the trouble you are getting.

Your breath is growing faster and everything but steady, your hands cold, all of it provoked by the way he’s glaring at you, if you didn’t know him the way you do, you were sure he would be plotting your murder. Frank is one to intimidate people but that’s not quite what is happening to you now, you hate when he hovers over you and slightly tilts his head, even more when he is almost smirking thinking he has you wrapped around his finger.

And maybe he’s right because you kiss him.

Is not the first time it happens anyways, you fist the fabric of his henley, giving a fuck if it’s ruined by the time he needs to get home, you’re pouring every emotion in it and he knows, he pleases you, he lets you climb and tangle around him, press your torso at his firm one, yes, but he is not satisfied, not with the way you had treated him the whole day.

When you take a break he slightly pushes you back from your neck, your hands travel down his chest by the distance.

— “What is it now?” You ask hazy.

—“What it is now? Baby are you aware of the way you had talk to me?” You frown, of course you had been such an ass today but, he can’t deny you a good shake off, right?

—“But-” you start to display your best puppy eyes, he doesn’t let you finish though, you are looking at his own dark gaze until the clink of his belt draws you away from your trance.

—“Nah nothing sweet. Turn around.” The way he plays the the piece of leather off has you pretty distracted.

—“We can talk it over Frank.” He clearly hears the desperation in your voice, whether he wants to calm it is another matter.

—“Oh, we can talk it over now? That’s new.” His hand spins your shoulder until your back is a few inches away his chest, pushes your blade until you feel the cool surface breeze your nipples through the thin fabric of your old tank top.

At this point the anticipation have you teary eyed, you look back at his frame, it is so broad, he is so heavy in his presence it makes your back get goosebumps, even more so when he lifts up the hem of your top to look at it, he made it clear a few times, he loves your back, specifically how it arches when he caresses at your skin with his rusty palms.

The soft interlude ain’t last long.

Both of his hands tugs at the waistband of your sweatpants, so fast the panties get trapped in the motion, leaving you bare, he spreads your cheeks revealing your glistening parts for him to drool at them, he’s dying to bury his mouth in it but he won’t be nice, even if it gets to him more than it gets to you. He clicks his tongue.

—“I don’t think you get a release tonight, too bad for you.” He caresses your slit from start to finish, eliciting a shudder from you.

—“Frank please it’ll be good next time, make me feel good please, i swear.” You rise enough for his stubble to tickle at your temple, you wish you could melt in his body, all you need is a little bit of love and correction, also him to give you what you want.

It aches, he aches, doesn’t like to tell no to his pretty girl.

He hesitates for a few seconds, he needs you too, he feels it burn inside his core. Sadly, He’s a man known for his resilience.

—“Don’t wanna hear a single whine from your lips from now on.” He groans with wet lips in your ear, you’d have clenched your already soaked pussy if he hasn’t pulled your hips back and made you bend over again.

Suddenly you feel his fingers pressing the back of your neck against the gelid material you are lying on. Before you can protest a gasp leave your lips when instead of the leather of his belt a hand lands harshly on your ass, loud and painful.

He always preferred the traditional way.

—“Count five of those for me.” And it’s the shame to be so easily dominated. Subdued not only to his but your own body, you crave him.

—”Fuck you.” You try to wriggle his grip out uselessly, tears already streaming down your cheeks, you are always so brave it plays against you.

You yelp when your hair is pulled by his thick fingers, your neck sting at the forced flexion, and he hovers down to the shell of your ear again, squeezing your body under his, that’s when you notice his hard bulge against your messed folds, he’s as bad as you.

—“You can’t help yourself, can you? Why don’t you count ten instead, it’ll help you ease.” He surprises you with another hard spank.

By the time he has 5, you are sweating, biting your lips so your neighbors don’t have to deal with the consequences of your bitchy behavior too.

—“Ten.” You count anticipating the rough slap, but nothing comes, you look back timidly over your shoulder. He feels his cock twitch at your helpless face. Wet and colored cheeks, those eyes, god, you look like you haven’t been the most prolific brat for the past eight hours, almost like he is punishing you for your mere existence.

Tender strokes covers your manhandled cheek.

—“I think we can leave it like that. It’s been enough for you.”

Oh no, you don’t want to stop, you desperately look for his hand and grab it, leading its travel all over the side of your torso to your tit, you coax a squeeze out of his hand pressing over it. Your eyes enough of a message, a silent plead. His own mind liquid with lust.

—“Such a needy girl.” Frank lowers his head to merge in a tender kiss, your whole body is throbbing, the wet sounds of the smooch traveling right down your clit. You swear he reads it through you cause his point and middle fingers came down to indulge you, everything feels impossibly hotter, if hell has a nice place, this should be it.

The kiss doesn’t stop, and when it does Frank is all over your face, painting it with wet kisses and sweet praises you know you don’t deserve. He keeps rubbing it slowly until he decides it’s enough not for you but him and takes off your sweatpants that, at this point, where further down your shins.

He unbuttoned his pants earlier, predicting the big bother they would turn out, it wasn’t very useful after all, he tugged down the elastic of his boxer along his jeans, you glance down his girth, the tip coated in a wet deep pink.

—“Open up for me baby, would you?” You nod eagerly but he does it for you, rising one of your legs up to his shoulder since you are on your side, he slides part of his forearm down your other knee, guiding it to rest around his hip.

His entrance not so complicated since your wet and slippery like that, the soft sting making you back up a little but he holds you steady, a palm anchored between the crease made of your abdomen and thigh, doesn’t waste his time, coating his thumb in your slick to circle on your swollen bud with the right pressure to make you squeal.

He recognizes when it’s too much for you, eyebrows scrunched and incoherent whimpers, even more now that you are bouncing so much by the force of every thrust he gives you.

He hits that spot over and over, it is so intense you feel the need to grasp onto something but there’s nothing to hold onto, you’re high, sweaty, head lulling until you fix on him, he’s concentrated, grunting over the way you make him feel, burying his fingers in the soft of your skin, and he’s drunk, glaring at you though hooded eyes, god, you’re close, you feel it like a effervescent pill, pushing its bubbles to the surface.

You’re are good at recognize when it’s to much for him too, the disorganized rubs over your clit make you clench on him repeatedly, you would laugh at his efforts to hold together if you weren’t so down bad yourself. His red cheeks, his red chest too, that vein he has on the left of his neck which seemed even more noticeable when was close.

—“Coating me so freaking good baby just keep it like that.” It came out hushed, and you don’t really know if it was the surprise or the shame at his words that shoved you straight into a catastrophic fall beyond the border, but you came, and you came hard, like an implosion, constricted inside of you, throat wrapped on itself.

He did the same, the pulses of your walls swallowed him, and let’s be honest, there was no more bearing left inside of him. His last thrusts came along with loud pants, leaving all his seed in your insides.

Soft strokes of his thumb on your belly were the stimuli which dragged you out of the cloud nine bliss. His head resting near the creek of your neck, his warm breaths over your skin sweet-talking you to doze off.

Your hand found a nice place on his head to scratch, his hair not long enough to tangle but to hide your fingers.

—“Hey, message from earth to the space, are you alright? Do you copy?” Following that, you feel the low rumble of his chest, at least he wasn’t that ‘mad’.

—“Yeah, i’m near the moon now, over.” A chaste kiss is left on your cheek as he raises himself from you. You blush.

—“Agh Frank, that was so corny.” You fake annoyance, the little pull of the corners of your mouth sells you out.

He disappears into the darkness of your hallway. You take the break to get up from the rigid marble table, realizing how much you needed that. After a satisfying stretch, you take your panties off the floor putting them back on you, and serve two glasses of water.

As you engulf your own, you hear him come back stepping more than needed in your leaving room, he drinks the glass you left for him and you turn around to see. You know you shouldn’t feel puzzled by it but you really thought he would stay the night.

Jacket on and his disheveled hair gone, you find yourself astonished by the way the rough angles of his face seemed to soften in such private moments, specially now that his features casted drastic shadows, evoked the looks of a skull, so severe, so stern, is like nothing happened.

You lay your back on the chilly plastic of your fridge, glass is still in hand.

—“Hey, you know you don’t need to leave? It’s pretty late and cold outside, i know you give a fuck about risky so i’m im not bringing that up.” You taunt him, he’s flipping through those goddamn papers again. Finally, he finds what he was searching for. He folds them and buries them in his pocket.

—“Work needs to be done.” And he’s using that cold edge to his voice. It shrinks your heart, but it doesn’t matter, what you feel, it doesn’t.

—“Yeah, whatever,” you do a brief pause, noticing the fidgeting of his fingers, he’s always anxious, despite knowing each other for so long, you can’t entirely read him the way you’d like.

—“I’ll close the door for you.”

—“I have keys y-”

—“Yes Frank i know you do, i gave ‘em to you, c’mon.” You walk down the main door again, the breeze of the night wrapping your bare legs which he is covering with his frame.

—“Take care Frank, i don’t want to stitch your ass together for the hundredth time.” It is a constant struggle, every time he goes away you live it as if it were the last time, it could be both death or the bitter realization that perhaps you weren’t as useful to him, not as relevant as you think you are, both reasons could take him away from you, although you never had him in first place.

You meet his eyes, he was already looking at you, he is pondering something, gears turning in that head of his.

—“Don’t worry about that,” Suddenly he wraps an arm around your waist, hugging you close enough to peck you on the forehead.

—“Y’know you ain’t needa worry ‘bout me.” He caresses the small of your back, you wish he was easier to convince, at this point, and with a lot of persuasion, he’d be happily sleeping on your bed.

You find yourself hugging him tighter, inhaling the scent of his clothes until you let go, your eyes shimmer with something raw, a fresh cut of your vulnerability, he’s aware, he kisses you on the lips, useless like a band-aid on a broken bone. There is no more he can do, regardless. Once you close the door, you are left with the frigid air lingering in your living room.

It’s not that late for a few tears and a couple of wine glasses.

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

[pupyuj]

Omg the recent liz fic one was so good but what about Rei keeps trying (unsuccessfully) to breed reader . They get so fed up that they pin reader down and fuck their brains out, successfully impregnating them.

YET ANOTHER AWESOME REI ASK you guys are on a roll omg?? 😭 i think i had too much fun with the non-smut part so this is going to be a bit longer than my usual drabbles :] (the next one is too!)

[cw: g!p rei, breeding.]

aww precious wifey reibear who wants you to have her kids so, so badly :(( you’ve been trying for a while but nothing seems to be working… even going as far as to visit a doctor to see if there was some kind of complication on either your or rei’s end but hell, even the doctor made a (strange) comment about how you and rei should be “at the prime state to have a platoon of babies” but it always seemed like no matter how much you tried, having a kid didn’t seem all too likely 💔 you’ve never let it get you down ofc but rei was… a different story!

it made her really sad! ☹️ it was so disheartening to see her suddenly just become to quiet and… private 😞 ever since that doctor’s visit, she has been discouraged from even having sex with you bcs in her mind, she thinks that every time she failed to give you a baby, you feel disappointed at her but that couldn’t be more far from the truth—you loved rei so much, with or without a kid.

now 😭 what kinda sets her off is something as innocent as getting a baby shower invitation from one of your guys’ friends 💀 you’d watch her walk back in forth in a frustrated manner right in front of you as you sat on the bed, “i mean, is that not a little insensitive considering we talked about how our situation is going over dinner with them a few weeks ago?! that’s like, me coming up to you when you’ve just lost a family member and celebrating that my dad has woken up from his ten-year long comatose or something!” and you would laugh at the comparison… if you didn’t think your wife was sounding a bit absurd 😭😭

“honey, i think they’re just… trying to help get some things off our minds.”

“yeah because waving the fact that they can have babies totally helps,” she’d snap at you but she’ll immediately feel bad about it :(( “…i’m sorry. i’m yelling.”

“it’s okay, just come sit with me,” you pat the empty space beside you and rei was more than willing to be close to your warmth, letting you brush her hair away from her face and everything 🥺 “i’m sure our friends didn’t mean to offend us—they wouldn’t. they probably didn’t think it would be a big deal since they’re just so excited for us to be there.”

“i just wish… we’d have this too. baby showers, parties, posting an off-putting but ultimately adorable ultrasound video of our kid in our instagram stories and… so much more.” poor reibear just wants to have a family :(( with you! the most amazing woman she has ever met and it kills her so much that she can’t just . fucking give you one!

“i know, hon… and i understand,” you wanted nothing more than a family with her too, but it really hurts to see the love of your life so dismayed about your persistent inability to have a kid :(( but you can’t let her believe that she can’t at all! “but just because it’s not happening now doesn’t mean it never will, okay? it’s going to happen, we’ll be ready, and everything will be perfect. just like you.” giving her a little boop on the nose just to see her beautiful smile and just like that, your lovely wife was back to being her cheerful, energetic self 🥺🫠

rei feeling the need to just touch you after all of that :(( hands all over you while you kiss her, and she's so hasty that she doesn't even bother to undress you or herself all the way before she lays you down on your shared bed 🥺 the moment she hears you moan feeling her throbbing cock rubbing against your soaked panties is the moment rei loses all self-control and her greed just takes over 😵‍💫 ofc she's careful not to rough you up too much, even tho there's something in the back of her head that's telling her that you like it when she does that... but today she's making love! 🫣🥰

she's taking care of you so well :(( face buried in your neck, moaning so sweetly in your ear at every thrust of her hips, her hands holding your waist so tightly... reibear is not much of a chatterbox when she's quite literally fucking into you (whiner rei agenda RISE!) but she lovesss to tell you how much she loves you 🥰 and she thinks it's not enough to express just how much and that's why she says it a lot :(( she's just . a true lovergirl 😍😍

obsessed with how you hold onto her shirt so tightly, and she can never get enough of the way you leave kisses on her neck... all of this just makes her want to fuck you harder 🫢 fully holding onto your thighs and slightly lifting you up bcs she's so close and it all feels too good to stop now 😵‍💫

you'd cum long before rei does so for the remainder of the time, you'd just lay there—praising her, flirting, making all of the sounds she needs to hear to get to that edge that she longs for 😵‍💫😵‍💫

“cum, rei-yah... inside me. now.” and there it was! rei does exactly that 🫣 ugh, she'd pull out after she finishes but seeing her seed seep out of you just makes her dick hard all over again... and reibear doesn't like a mess, and it looks like she's on clean-up duty! 🤭 she'll definitely fuck her cum back inside you, and thankfully you were all in for it too! 😋 neither of you have felt so fucking good... and it shows when weeks later, you pee on a stick not once, not twice, but three times and the stupid thing(s) finally showed that you are now indeed carrying naoi rei's baby 🎉

[notmorbid]

one little spark.

dialogue prompts from one little spark by ellie banks.

you little asshole.

everything is annoying today. everything.

i've always liked a little scorched earth.

i've never seen the point of going out with quiet dignity and grace.

you like problems.

whatever i do, i do right.

a combination of age and life have left me absolutely fuckless.

you don't need me to take care of you.

has anyone ever told you that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

being single is so damned weird.

i'm fond of crashing through caution tape.

if he doesn't take care of you, i'll hunt him down and kill him.

starting small is not in my wheelhouse.

you never seem afraid of being wrong.

how did you get here so fast?

always the dangerous choice.

you don't understand what you saw.

you deserve to have some closure.

sometimes i want to burn this place to the ground.

i'm not sure if it's a dream or a memory.

shut out what you can't control, and focus on what you can.

i try not to engage in wishful thinking, but sometimes it's hard.

maybe it's me. maybe it's that 'bad blood' shit.

if i can't trust you, i can't trust anything.

are you taking care of yourself?

what does 'normal' look like right now?

cheating in your head isn't a thing.

i want to figure out how to embrace what i have left.

do i have _____ on my face?

it's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing. that's normal.

i don't feel like anything about me is very normal.

i keep grudges like other people keep cats.

sometimes you have to take steps forward, even if they're not in the shoes you would have chosen.

i couldn't stand letting you see me struggle.

everyone has secrets.

you weren't a mistake to me.

no one's ever looked at me like that but you.

it's okay to not know what you feel.

i want you to never blame yourself. for anything.

i was a little bitch to you, and i'm sorry.

why do people like uncertain women so much?

if you were happy, you wouldn't be here.

simmer down, kid.

this isn't a happy place for me.

guilt is different from shame.

what's the difference between god and a surgeon? god doesn't think he's a surgeon.

i always end up telling you my secrets.

how do you think that would've gone, you and me?

____ felt like the safe choice.

i know you can't rebuild from ashes, but you can build something new on top of them.

i would have been there for you, if you'd have let me.

did everyone know but me?

i'm married, not dead.

at least i say what needs saying.

it's not actually hard to be nice to you.

i don't have time for feelings. i've got shit to do.

you're kind of an asshole.

if you can't handle a woman scorned, don't scorn one.

life is a lot more complicated than anybody wants to believe.

i felt like a teenager when i saw you.

you're as afraid as i am.

why aren't you angry with me?

i want us to get to know each other again.

it has been a very long time since i've been on a date.

i don't know why anyone would choose to be single.

you fascinate me.

i don't have time to sit around and marinate in subtlety.

you've been kind of a secret fantasy of mine for a while now.

i always knew i was the main character. thank you for supporting my narcissism.

this will never be over, will it?

no matter what, i want to know you.

i'm going to pour wine.

i really like you. i wasn't supposed to.

i'm trying to just enjoy the moment, but i'm bad at it.

i didn't have words for it then.

i thought maybe things would improve with distance.

when did we finish having all our easy conversations?

you've never liked sunrises. you hate getting up early.

you're my girl. you always were.

for once in my life, i wanted to be the one who got picked.

i wanted to make you my enemy, but you aren't, are you?

you aren't innocent, but you aren't evil, either.

i'm never the bigger person. not for the hell of it.

i don't know if i knew anything about my own life.

i'm not sure what i'm remembering and what i'm dreaming.

the truth will come for you, if you don't come for it first.

'should' doesn't fix anything.

was i ever there for you, or did i just torture you?

i remember the first time you held my hand.

in my lowest moment, you kept me safe. from myself, from everything.

i tried not to think about it. i didn't tell anyone.

i'm really not mature enough for this.

timing has never really been my strong suit.

i'm just hormonal. it's making me weird.

i wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.

don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

i want to be as strong as you are. that's all i want.

i don't see a way forward without you, one way or the other.

you made my life here not hell.

you can be sorry and still forgive yourself.

your conscience isn't my problem.

i'm not one to argue with fate.

you got your character arc, after all. good for you.

[astroyongie]

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦ Kpop Tea Part 2. ꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

Note: there's the list of some teas to celebrate my come back <3 This second part is only concerning male idols! WARNINGS: All names are censured. Requests with emojis asking for names won't be answered. Some tea can be sensitive. One X per member per group. Take it lightly EVERYTHING DONW THROUGH TAROT ! Ps: Ta*** is not included in nct 127 nor will be mentioned in my nct posts again.

NCT 127

X has a lot of regrets on what is currently happening with the group and what happened with * . this message here leaves to believe he knew what was happening but never truly addressed the issue

X's also doesn't has any consentment responsibility

X's is actually happy that * left the group and he feels quite more free with that decisions but he believes that the fault is at the company too for giving some members too much freedom

X is currently dealing with some heavy addiction

X has received a proposal from another company to join after the end of the contract with SM

X's is hella happy that * left the group

X is super angry, so much that it is affecting him into another level. this because he didn't know about the whole scandal and when he learnt of it, it made him feel a lot of anger toward *

X is investing a lot on other things than the entertainment as he isn't planing to do stay around in SM for long years

NCT Dream

X knows a lot more of what happens in the company than what he lets to see. he probably has the most dirt on the other members

X is not happy in his relationship but he doesn't want to leave them because it would mean to beak down years of happiness. breaking this off would also mean a lot of issues

expect X to go through a physical transformation

X has what we call an artificial heart. he is incapable of feeling love for people that isn't tangled in desire or lust

X has been working so much on himself, trying so much to see himself, he sacrifices so much to be able to provide better life for himself, his members but also trainees

WayV

X is in a relationship but that doesn't stop him from cheating with people inside the company

X is under the influence of someone extremely negative for himself and his own heath, but he is too blind on this

X's intimate relationships could become an issue if they were exposed to the public

X has sometimes outbursts of physical violence toward others

X is super jealous of his other members and he will sometimes try to 'steal' what they have for himself

X is smart and he isn't afraid of competition or of people in the company.

Stray Kids

X is broken, all of his fragmented self is one constituting only one, the issue is that instead of fixing what's broken, he has picked up the fragments and tried to do something about it but it as made him more vulnerable

X's mental health keeps being my greatest worry. I am scared for him

X's truly needs to be careful with who he sleeps with unless he wants to have surprised and he also should go forward with his solo project

x has plain conscience that he is in a complicated situation with his love life and his career at the moment

X's energy is currently filled with jealousy, affective dependence and obsession that he has over his current partner. but x has also been having some self destructive behaviors

X has been too prideful which made him burn his fingers with this person. his goal wont work out

X believes that he was born to suffer which is the reason why he always accept the stupidities of the company, like he accepts the mistreatment and believes for it to be necessary

X is in a relationship, his affectionate and intimate life is all right but also this includes his family. he is truly happy

Monsta X

X has been calling for help via media and yet no one has noticed it

X regrets being an idol, as he believes that he wasn't born to be who he is. he regrets to have lost so much of his childhood to this

X could literally ruin everyone's career in the industry if he dared to open his mouth

X is preservating something that could potentially be problematic

X has been manipulating and cheating on his partner. he has turned his relationship into a toxic gaslighting one and he has Toal control over his partner

X is so blind to his own pain that he doesnt notice that he is hurting the people around him

TXT

X has big self esteem and self image issues which often result into body dysphoria and potentially into eating habits that arent healthy

X was able to adapt to the new situation that has been happening to him and the group

X is currently celebrating a win that he has been fighting for a long time

X isn't known to smell very well in amount the idols

X is alone in the world as a sense where he knows doesnt have close or true friends as one can understand it

Seventeen

X is the one who has the most financial gain surprisingly

X has been trying to get closer to his family and also putting boundaries between his idol life and his private life. he hates when fans ask about his private life

X is capable to see some type of ghosts or veils to a certain point

X has been feeling very vulnerable lately, mostly because he has allowed some people to see him In all his glory and naked self, without covers, revealing some of his insecurities

X's pride will be his downfall

X is full of positive energy and he is also preparing some time of solo project. he has been thinking about having a child

X is totally and unhealthy obsessed with his partner

X is going through some type of grief

X has sacrificed a lot on his life, love and family for this career and he hates that he isnt appreciated enough for it

X is taking a new step into his life. this man just wants to marry and be done with this

X was able to come to terms with his own demons, with his own griefs and issues as he is now focusing on himself and his health

everything you know about x, all the interviews, all the videos, all the content. that is 100 percent his idol self. his true self is nothing like that

X is currently in love and loving his true big passion

BTS

no matter what X will do with his career, there's victory for him and he knows it

X next solo will be a success

X's dreams are too big to be achievable even for him. it seems like producers arent keen to do what he wants

X is goign through a lot of introspection as he believes that his life needs to improve

X has been working in a project that will equal bring a lot of success and stability for himself

X is totally focused on his career right now, as nothing else matters

it doesn't matter how much X was broken in the past by the one person who turned him the way he is. he wont heal himself, he refuse to cry for the her

EXO

X loves his job, he really does, but he truly wants to end his contract so he can marry his partner and have his life

X is not living in the present and that is his biggest mistake

X doesnt want official relationships, he wants to mess around, to lie passionate things instead of a official relationship that because he believes love is superficial

X has been dealign a lot with his mental health and his sensibility can be seen and felt through his interactions

this X is nothing but lies whenever he opens his mouth to talk about something. his whole success is based on lies

X is going to go through grief, either from a family member, friend or a relationship (this doesnt mean necessarily physical death)

X is helped by shamans

X has been trying to heal from the abuse, the submission and the abandonment he has lived these past years. although he is trying to heal form all of it

X doesn't remember himself, he doesnt remember who he was before the fame and that kinda of fucks up his mentality and his mental health

Ateez

X has been struggling a lot with his mental health and you may notice how he has lost his 'color'

new opportunity coming for X

X is doign well after a very rough period on his life. he is glowing

X's latests communications in his social/interviews/media has been the realest he has been so far

X is currently going for revenge after someone has broken his heart in a way he never thought being possible

X and pregnancy scare

X has been forgiven by someone he has hurt pronfundly

X believes that he needs to atone for some of his behaviors he had in the past that could bring him issues

The Boyz

X has hope that everything he has done will be put under a rag

X is clear, probably one of the only male idols who has never done anything bad in his life

X is faithful to his relationship and has not cheated once

X is balanced and in good health at the moment

X should be using protection If he doesnt want to have a baby scare

X has been missing his family quite a lot, and it pains him that his schedule doesnt give him the freedom to be home

The company is protecting X from some info to go out in the public which could cause a big scandal

X is waiting for his contract to end so he can leave the company

X is often mistaken by someone evil but he is actually super compassionate with people

X's sexual energy is very heavy and he needs to be careful on who he gets involved with to avoid issues

X is still searching for his life meaning and for a love that could fullfy him

Enhypen

X is still in a relationship and he doesnt care of what people say since he is truly in love with them

I don't understand how X can be so pacifist and calm among so many thorns. this man could ruin a few lives

X has been equally protected of scandals by his company

somethign bad happened between x and a higher up that I cannot speak of

X has an important travel to do that will give him some media attention

X solo opportunity

ZeroBaseOne

X has good intuition which is the reason he seems like someone collected on the outside

X is single and completely free to do whatever he wants and he also doesnt care anyone of what the public says about him

the depths of X energy are quite heavy to look at

X is clever enough to avoid troubles even when he does them

X is equally enjoying his life by flinging with whoever he feels like

X has been being more careful compared to his teammates when it comes to do things that could be complicated to deal with in the public

X's mental health has improved greatly

expect X to change something about his visual !

X is currently dealing with a broken heart from his last relationship that terminated

Riize

X's is changing his whole self and probably changing a few things on his idol persona

solo opportunity or project for X

X's energy has been very active, I just hope he knows what he is doing

X might get violent sometimes when he feels overwhelmed

X realize that he hates being an idol but now he cant do anything about it

X's is physically and mentally the most stable in this group

it might not seem like it but X has so much power over his members because he knows things

[lastoneout]

I try not to talk shit about boycotts even if they are the kind that historically don't do any good because I believe in harm reduction and every little bit helps, and also bcs I don't want to discourage people from taking action...but the people saying we just have to keep up the economic blackout for the rest of the foreseeable future and if you need anything just get it from "local/small businesses" clearly all live in cities and/or are not disabled.

Sometimes Walmart is legit your ONLY option for groceries in small towns, and that's because Walmart intentionally drove all the independent stores out of business. I spent a lot of my childhood in a village with a population of 200(and I've spent a lot of my life living in different small towns) and the only local restaurant was open like a handful of completely random days out of the year and when the owner died they closed. If you wanted to buy anything you're either driving to the nearest bigger town to shop at a Walmart or Food Lion or Win-Dixie or Safeway because those are your only options, or buying stuff online and hoping the shipping fees don't cost more than the product itself/that they deliver to your neck of the woods AT ALL.

And that's not even getting into how disability can complicate this. Try buying everything you need at small local businesses when you don't have a car, don't have good/any public transit, the nearest post office is in a different town, you likely aren't getting proper treatment because the only specialist who can help is a 2 hour drive away, your mobility is limited/you're in a wheelchair or use another mobility aid, and you get like less than $1k a month in gov benefits and like $200 in EBT. Most local businesses have to upcharge because they aren't Walmart and $1k a month is NOT enough to shop at them for all your needs. Barely enough to shop for one of your needs, tbh. And these people cannot just leave because that $1300 bucks goes a lot farther in the ass end of nowhere than it does in a city that could actually meet your needs. There's no winning.

(Also sorry if someone has autism or ARFID and all they can stomach is McDonalds or idk Hot Pockets and Uncrustables then I think they deserve to be left the fuck alone to eat whatever food they can. Disabled people get a pass on this, because disabled people suffering and dying is bad and society already treats us like subhuman freaks. Fun tip! If you see your disabled friend who has food texture issues eating chicken nuggets from McDonalds you can try leaving them the fuck alone about it! Hope that helps!! (Like dude I hate shopping at Whole Foods but that is the store with the biggest gluten free section. And I need to eat.)

And like the most annoying thing is that NONE of the people posting about this are suggesting like, any form of mutual aid to support people who can't currently take part for one reason or another? Which is why it doesn't fucking work. Capitalism makes you complicit, it destroys all your other options so that you have to buy from big corporations, and lobbies to ensure this is legal and also all of your non-private options for transportation and necessities are shit and get replaced by slightly better private options BUT only until they reveal they were only being "good" to destroy their competition and now are going to be even worse than the places they ran out of business.

(Also like, I love local businesses too and try to shop at them as much as I can...but they aren't always more ethical than the alternative and acting like they are is profoundly disconnected from reality. In 2016 when I lived in Flagstaff, AZ we voted to raise the state minimum wage to $10 an hour, and Flagstaff specifically voted for $15. This was needed, rent on a studio apartment in 2016 was like $1k and that was BEFORE utilities and internet. And it almost worked, only a coalition of small business owners threw such a massive fit about having to possibly pay their employees enough to survive in an insanely expensive city to live in that the city council REVERSED THE DECISION. Flagstaff is honestly a ridiculously classist city, beat only by the evil rich people paradise that is fucking Sedona(which is almost entirely local businesses, who are owned by people who voted against setting aside one parking lot at a charity for PEOPLE TO SLEEP IN THEIR CARS because you cannot live in Sedona unless you're rich, and the rich people there don't really care if the person working at the crystal shop can't afford to eat or is living out of their car.) Anyway, the poor people in Flagstaff had their say, but our say was not considered good enough, and was fucking overruled to protect the interests of rich assholes who would absolutely love to continue to be able to treat us all like shit and pay us nothing. So yeah. Small/local does NOT mean ethical. I've seen franchised fast food restaurants treat their employees better and pay them more than some small local ones do. And that's not even getting in to how a lot of local businesses are NOT accessible for people with mobility aids. Half the stores on 4th Ave are so small my wheelchair can't fit comfortably inside or have stairs at the entrance. It's always more complicated than just "buy local".)

The people who can afford to avoid stores like Walmart are probably already doing it(you couldn't pay me to go into a Walmart unless it was absolutely necessary, I fucking hate that place SO goddamn much that it legit gives me panic attacks if I'm in there for too long) and the ones who can't afford it can't afford it, and you are offering absolutely no support to help fix that. It's just "shop local! don't go to Walmart or use Amazon!! don't use your debit card!!" with no acknowledgement of those intentionally being the only options a lot of people can fucking afford or that exist at all. That's how capitalism works!! You can't fight it by refusing to accept how it controls people's lives, and pushing people to take part in a broad, directionless boycott with no consideration for the reality of living in America right now or help offered to vulnerable people who legit cannot just shop local is doomed to fail.

If you can shop local(and know the local shops aren't run by power-mad capitalists playing pretend as feudal lords and are not at all better in terms of ethical business than Walmart) and avoid Target and Walmart and McDonalds, by all means, do. If you can help your friends, family, or community members do the same then DO IT. But if your only suggestion is just "stop shopping at anywhere owned by a capitalist" then I'm sorry you have no idea how boycotts work, shouldn't be organizing one, and absolutely should not be pressuring people who cannot reasonably take part without mutual aid offering to support them for however long it goes on for to just, idk fucking starve themselves and die for the greater good.

The Montgomery Bus Boycott worked because the community came together to make sure everyone who took part had a way to get to work and school and the grocery store and the doctor's office. It's just like a strike, you need mutual aid and money to make it possible for people to do it at all, and it does need to be targeted if it's going to register as anything more than a blip on the radar. Pooling money to split a Costco membership with your roommates or neighbors or family and giving them rides there when they need it so you can all spend at a company that has stood up to Trump instead of caving, or idk vandalizing all the Teslas in uh, Minecraft, does more to take money out of the pockets of companies like Walmart and Target and Tesla than shouting at marginalized people on BlueSky about how if they don't figure out how to shop local they're complicit in the evils of capitalism and clearly don't care about building a better world.

[astrobydalia]

more observations (lost count)✨

Hello guys! Life's been crazy lately and I barely have time to make any of the master posts I wanted to, so you'll be getting lost of observation posts that I've been collecting in my drafts for the past months. As always, enjoy!

❗️long post

work by astrobydalia

✨ Sagittarius and Aquarius are so fucking similar. Both of them are chaotic af, love their freedom and think they're smarter than everyone else. People who have both of these in their big 6 have the most unhinged

✨ Libra is WAY more obsessed with perfection than Virgo

✨ Whenever I had Libra or Taurus ASC on my Solar return chart I was lazy AS FUCK. I had no motivation to work whatsoever during those years, all I wanted to do was vibe and enjoy life. I also felt very relaxed and stress-free, when difficulties came I just went with the flow

✨ What is up with Gemini risings and always feeling intellectually insecure all the time? Literally their #1 insecurity is feeling like they are dumb or like they’re not good enough for highly abstract and intellectual tasks/professions. They come across as someone immature who lacks wisdom or has a superficial/simplistic view of things. I feel like this is because they attract people who are a bit of know-it-alls (Sagittarius DSC) and they have a reputation for being scattered-brained (Pisces 10th house) so people tent to infantilize them a lot.

^^^But let me tell you this not true at all, Gemini risings are some of the most brilliant people I’ve met with so much potential. Their problem is that they allow overthinking to get the best of them and end up doubting themselves 24/7. These are the type of people who have amazing ideas but they never pursue any them. They really struggle making decisions for themselves, they always need to ask for opinions first which is not a bad thing but this makes them come across as incapable or as someone who lacks self-sufficiency

✨ Mercurial signs (Virgo and Gemini) like to focus on concrete things and immediate reality, they process life by connecting one thing at a time and taking info as it comes, they focus on what's going on around them cause Mercury is all about multiplicity and details. With Jupiter signs on the other hand (Sag and Pisces) one thing about them is they don't care about details as long as things make sense as a whole, they see life from a more broad and general perspective, they prefer having a birds eye view of things because Jupiter is all about expansion and therefore it likes to encompass many things at once. This is why Virgo and Gemini rule mundane life themes and immediate reality while Sag and Pisces are more about general life lessons and higher knowledge

✨ Scorpio moons/8th house moons are the definition of an energy vampire fr. They just have a really poor understanding of healthy emotional boundaries, they expect you to give your all but aren't willing to reciprocate and always turn everything into a manipulation or mind game somehow which makes it pretty exhausting to be around them in the long run. Don't get me wrong, most of the ones I’ve met were very and good people but they always end up taking my energy away and make me feel emotionally burnt out

✨ Mercury-Mars aspects have this "it is what it is" mentality and really dislike over complicating things by reading too deep into them. They tend to think things exactly as they seem. This does not mean they're simplistic, on the contrary this makes them surprisingly insightful fast thinkers and are not the type to be easily fooled

✨ I've seen people saying that hard aspects between Mercury-Pluto makes people misunderstand your words. This is not true, this happens with Neptune cause Neptune rules delusion, but Pluto is a very blunt and straightforward planet cause it's all about revealing the dark truths. Mercury-Pluto aspects makes someone very deliberate with their words and they know exactly what to say to make their message stick. You will understand their words exactly how they want you to understand them. What happens with hard aspects is that the native tends to have a more provocative approach in the things they say, they don't care if you're offended by what they say as long as what they say makes an impact. People can misunderstand their intentions because of this, but not their words

✨ The ironic thing about Aquarius placements is that they are very good when it comes to connecting with the masses, the public usually feels very drawn to them because they're very good at appealing to collective values which makes them come across as relatable to many people as a result. However, when you actually try to relate to them or connect one-on-one, you will find yourself with someone that is surprisingly elusive, distant and more distrustful than Scorpio placements which is a huge contrast from the welcoming vibe they give off to the public. I've found that the only way you will get close to an Aquarius placements is on THEIR terms lmao, if they've decided they like you, it'll be them who will approach you and/or make the effort to engage with you

✨ A reocurring thing I've seen with Virgo placements is that they really dislike big changes and prefer to stay in control. I think this is not mentioned often cause it's kinda weird to say that about a mutable sign, but Virgos being mercury+earth ruled they feel comfortable relying on facts, data, observations, etc and they use all this tangible info to navigate reality, that's why they rule daily life and routines because they invest a lot of their energy on factually understanding and categorizing their reality (earth signs in general are very attached to the tangible). Their mutable nature shows in that they easily use their knowledge to adapt, find solutions and fix what’s wrong but when they are in situations where these "categories" prove to be useless (aka Pisces themes), they get very triggered cause that means they no longer have control of their reality

✨ That being said another reoccurring thing I’ve noticed with Virgo placements is that they love to predict things. But not in a mystical sense it’s more like they enjoy understanding things in such way that they’re able to easily put a label on them and easily predict what’s going on or how something works

✨ I have not seen a single Taurus placement who didn’t have the most insanely sexy and pleasant voice ever. Doesn’t matter if they sing of not, just hearing their voice is so delightful

✨ Aquarius Mercury really believe their opinions are the most ultimate and correct opinions out there. They are certain that their judgment is always 100% objective (aka always true) so in their mind if you slightly disagree with them that means you’re mediocre, dumb or narrow-minded.

✨ There's always a duality in all mutable signs. Sagittarius can be very humorous and optimistic but also very dark and profound. Gemini can be curious and chaotic but also very analytical and logical. Virgo can be picky and perfectionistic but also very permissive and conformist. Pisces can be very compassionate and wise but also very detached and clueless

✨ Neptune does not do well in air houses/signs at all simply because air energy rules (different types of) information and connections, while Neptune is all delusion and confusion. Also air energy is purely cerebral and rational while Neptune appeals to the unconscious

✨ I have not fact-checked this but I feel like it's safe to say that Mars rules testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone associated to violence or impulsive behavior, sex drive, red blood cells (blood), masculinity, etc That's literally all mars

✨ People always talk about how Capricorn moons have had a rough life but I've noticed this is also very true for Sagittarius Moons?? Responsibilities are not imposed on them like Capricorn, in their case they have to build up wisdom about life through pure and raw experience without anyone giving them a heads up or any pointers first, that's why they grow up feeling like they're fully on their own. Things work out for them at the end but they always have most MESSY life experience it's really crazy

✨ Both domicile and afflicted Mars are ambitious and determined but the main difference is that Libra/Taurus/Cancer Mars need to find some type of enjoyment or fulfillment in their goals in order to get motivated while Capricorn/Aries/Scorpio Mars find motivation in the challenge and endure through stuff they don't find pleasant

✨ From what I've seen males with Scorpio placements are very superficial and will gaslight as a lifestyle. They are the type of people who look the other way or brush things off or never takes anything seriously and I've noticed they do this so they never have to take accountability.

✨ Neptune/Pisces energy either gives “glamorous and ethereal” vibes or “weird in an extremely cringe way” vibes, there’s no in-between

✨ A reoccurring thing I've noticed with those who have Chiron in Taurus/2nd house or Chiron-Venus is that they often have dubious morality or double standards because they don't have a solid values

✨ Every single Libra Moon/rising female I’ve met embodied the material girl stereotype. They really have this “instagram girl” vibes to them if that makes sense

✨ Those with Sagittarius in the 5th house can actually find a lot of joy and happiness in becoming parents or they have a lot of fun with children

✨ Scorpio Mars can't stand not knowing what's going on around them and at first I thought this was bc they were suspicious/paranoid but then I realized it’s because they’re just controlling as shit. They come across as very chill and care fee but they’re actually SUPER controlling dude. Even when they know for sure that they can trust you and you’re doing nothing wrong they still want to keep taps on you and won’t leave you alone. They won't bluntly violate your privacy but will still find ways to always know what you're up to

✨ The resentful and spiteful stereotype associated to Scorpio actually belongs to Leo placements imo. They can be very reactive and childish when you insult their ego and will make it very known that they won't let it go

✨ Cancer North Node people always have some sort of issue or inner conflict with of having kids. They feel drawn to the idea of becoming a parent but deep down they low-key don't? I've also seen many women with this placement who had fertility issues

I have the theory that these natives are conflicted in this topic because they see family as an achievement or a societal expectation (Capricorn south node) so in this life time they have to know what it's like to desire a family for the right reasons and not because they feel like they 'should'

✨ Capricorn risings really are hyper-aware of their public image and how others perceive them. That's why they always end up becoming very popular and respected, cause they know very well where they "stand" publicly so they know how to successfully curate their own reputation. It's not surprising to see this placement a lot in celebrities

✨ Pluto in the 12th house are genuinely unsure of who they can trust which leads to a lot of paranoia and projection. The type to ignore the most obvious red flags but then automatically doubt your loyalty cus you spoke in a suspicious tone

✨ Pisces/12th house placements 🤝 disappearing. Y’all shit on Gemini for ghosting but have you ever met a pisces/12th houser?

✨ Saturn in 5th house people had parents (namely father) who were overly critical of them and their self-expression. Doesn’t necessarily mean they were unsupportive of the native but they were quite hard on the native’s creativity

✨ I've seen a lot of bullies/mean girls have Aquarius placements. Honorable mentions: virgo, Leo, libra

✨ Neptune-ASC people are really good at making themselves invisible when they want and/or making parts of themselves go completely unnoticed even if they're bluntly obvious. I've noticed they actually get away with a lot cause they have this tendency to not be accurately seen by others if that makes sense

✨ Neurodivergent individuals usually have Mercury harshly aspecting (conjunction, square, opposition and inconjuction) Uranus and Saturn. Said Mercury is more often than not in a water house/sign/degree or in Aries. Of course not everyone with these aspects will be neurodivergent, but it's just a pattern I've seen

✨ Pluto-ASC people most of the times fail to have a lighthearted view towards life. They always want to look beyond the surface of things which doesn't really allow them to enjoy life as it is. They often get a reputation for looking too deep into everything and in turn the Pluto-asc native often sees others as superficial

✨ Virgo risings are huge conformist and won’t go after anything that’s outside their immediate boundaries. They only make an effort towards things that are accessible and will quickly lose interest in anything that has difficult availability or requires them to go way out of their comfort zone. They're overall pretty self-serving.

✨ I know several people diagnosed with OCD. All of them have Virgo AND 6th house placements, 22º in their big 3, Scorpio Mercury/Moon and Mercury dominance

work by astrobydalia

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane - Prologue

Being in the family that you were in, you could safely say that your whole life was much more complicated than what you let others believe.

Even back in college, when any of your friends or partners questioned you about your family, you would always insist that those whispers were nothing but silly rumors but of course eventually it would come up again.

“So how does it feel?” your boyfriend of the time asked you once while you were getting ready for your flight before Christmas, making you turn your gaze to him in the mirror.

“How does what feel?”

“Attending college here and then going back home to be the princess of the underworld.”

You scoffed a laugh and turned around to lean back to the vanity, putting your lipstick into your purse.

“We’ve been over this.”

“Babe, come on,” he said, sitting up in bed. “You can tell me.”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I have nothing to tell you.”

“Oh really?"

“You can come to the Christmas dinner with me and see for yourself,” you bluffed, and judging by how his eyes widened, he didn’t even know it was a bluff. “Me and my normal family and their very normal friends.”

“Uh huh. The real rulers of the city and their heirs, you mean?”

“To repeat, it’s just a friendly Christmas dinner with normal people.”

“Would I still be alive at the end of that dinner?”

“I think you’re listening to too much gossip,” you said, inspecting your fingernails. “I told you everything there is to know about my family.”

“Then for a change, tell me something true,” he said. “Was it fixed? Your parents’ marriage? Is that how it goes?”

You pulled your brows together, pretending to be in deep thought.

“My father had the wealth, and my mother had the looks,” you said, unable to stop the smirk pulling at your lips. “It was love at first sight, and the rest is history. Simple as that.”

“And your family business?”

“We don’t have a family business,” you said. “We have a family company.”

“Right,” he said with a chuckle and you ran your tongue over your teeth, now narrowing your eyes.

“What’s with the questions?” you asked. “And the sudden curiosity?”

He paused for a moment, then got off the bed and made his way to you to entwine his fingers with yours.

“No reason,” he said in a haste. “I just want to learn more about you babe. I mean we’ve been dating for a while but I barely know anything about you, or your family.”

You raised your brows. “I see.”

He squeezed at your hand as if trying to assure himself.

“It was just a question,” he said. “You don’t mind, do you?”

A silence fell upon the room before you hummed.

“Well… not me but perhaps it’s a good thing you’re not coming to dinner,” you mused with a sigh. “Daddy doesn’t really like people asking this many questions, he has trust issues you see.”

He blinked a couple of times and you smiled at him sweetly, then pecked him on the lips.

“I’ll see you after the holidays!” you said and grabbed your suitcase, then left the apartment. You took the elevator downstairs, and walked out of the building, a taxi stopping as you raised your hand. You got in and your phone vibrated in your hand so you touched the screen, your eyes scanning the text.

From: B. Barnes

See you at dinner, Charm.

“Where to miss?”

You pursed your lips, glaring at the text before pushing your phone into your purse, then lifted your head to smile at the driver.

“The airport,” you said. “Thank you.”

Chapter 1 is coming on January 1!

[draculasfavoritewife]

Wild Honey

Summary: Gale is one stubborn son of a bitch, but if anyone could get him to open up, it's always been you.

Pairing: Gale Hawthorne x fem!District 12!Reader

Warnings: ANGST. Idiots miscommunicating and falling out. Heavy tension, sensuality, and implied smut at the end. Also by far the most sexually charged eating scene I have ever yet written, SO sorry everyone, that really deserves its own separate disclaimer lmao. Ye have been warned.

I would like to preface this by saying I know Gale stans sometimes receive hate, and while I do not condone his more problematic actions, I do deeply understand why he is the way he is -- most of my favorite characters in any franchise have done morally challenging things, but I will always fall in love with a survivor, and most times in dystopian fiction survival is messy and comes at the cost of someone else's. It is also worth mentioning that I was watching Hunger Games during one of the most difficult periods of my life a year ago, when a loved one's life was hanging in the balance and Gale became the comfort character I turned to in order to cope. He will always hold a particularly fond place in my heart 🖤

tl;dr -- If you don't like Gale Hawthorne, feel free to not read. No reason to be mean to anyone :)

*Takes place during Catching Fire

He hasn’t been the same since she came back.

That much is clear to anyone two degrees north of blindness. But it could be anything, really. His work in the mines is draining on both body and soul, the added responsibility of being the Everdeen family’s sole provider as well as his own would exhaust anyone.

Yet Gale Hawthorne is probably the only one who could still be standing tall at this point, his proud stride never faltering, shoulders broad enough to hold up all of Panem if he had to. 

The man’s just tired, people say.

Tired and angry at the world, let him be. 

What else is new?

Gale has been wearier than a young man should be and angrier than most could know for as long as you’ve been part of his life.

It’s not that. 

No, it’s the sadness darkening his gray-blue eyes and the new tightness in his full lips that you see setting in whenever he looks at her. Whenever her eyes dart away to seek out Peeta’s instead, or stare straight through him at the phantoms of horrors he would never quite understand. You see him reaching out more often, trying anything and everything to bridge the yawning rift that has opened up between him and Katniss ever since her return, and see how with each misplaced gesture, every time he tries to be soft, another piece of him turns to stone inside. 

And it breaks you, to watch and know you can do absolutely nothing about it. 

You’re surprised to find him hunting alone the next time you go out beyond the fence; you would have assumed she was with him as she usually is. You’ve known Gale at least as long as she has, but perhaps the fact that you don’t rely on him for sustenance has made the two of you less likely to travel together.

And besides, whatever complicated relationship the two of them had, you had never wanted to insert yourself into that mess. 

But for whatever reason, today he is alone, anger and something deeper sharply visible in the movements of his nimble fingers as they field-dress a wild turkey on the floor of the small clearing you’ve emerged into, his brow furrowed and mouth harsh. 

You say nothing for several minutes as you pull your bow and quiver from their stash, testing the pull of the string, fiddling with a crooked fletching on one of your arrows. Your relationship has always been different from what he has with Katniss — you would be lying if you said you weren’t sometimes jealous of how much time she gets him to herself, but you also doubt that he talks to her the way he does to you.

There are pros and cons to not needing him in the same ways. 

“What?” he snaps when you’ve stood there too long; he knows you’re too efficient to need that much time to prepare your gear. 

You shoulder your bow, staring down at those heavy eyebrows, long ebony lashes, and the rainy-sky eyes that are still stubbornly avoiding yours.

“I don’t know, Gale. You tell me.” 

He sighs, long and annoyed. “You’re gonna stand there all day if I don’t, aren’t you.” 

You give a noncommittal noise and make a show of leaning against a tree to keep watch for Peacekeepers while he finishes his work. 

The thanks you get for that is little more than a grunt. “Well don’t get comfortable, I’m almost done. And keep up — I still need more than this or we’ll have a lean few days.” 

“When have I ever not kept up with you, Hawthorne?” You raise your eyebrows at him, playfully miffed. 

There it is, the cocky smirk that pulls one corner of his pretty mouth slightly higher than the other. “That a challenge, Spark?” 

You roll your eyes in mock disdain of the nickname he’s used forever (“because you’re small, but I know you’ve got a blaze in there somewhere” he’d half-teased). “Why, are you gonna try and run away from me?” 

It’s his turn to shrug. “How badly do you want to talk, I guess?” He’s loading the bird’s carcass into his satchel, wiping off his hunting knife and preparing to head out. 

A quick grab and you’ve shouldered the bag instead, ensuring he can’t abandon you now without also abandoning his prize. “Pretty damn badly, I guess.” 

Gale huffs a breath out through his nose. “God, you’re stubborn.” 

“Look who’s talking.” You brush past him, aiming for a deer trail that takes you through some hidden haunts that usually yield rabbits and even some bigger game on occasion. “Now come on, spill. You’ve been acting more pissed than usual, and that’s saying something.” 

“Hm. Very funny.” He easily lifts his own hunting gear once more and falls into step behind you. “Hunt first. Talk later. I’ll be even more pissed if we scare off our dinner.” 

You turn and give him a brisk nod, grinning to yourself when you face forward again. 

It may not sound like much, but that was practically a promise that he will talk to you eventually. 

And you’re nothing if not patient enough to outlast him. 

The times the two of you have hunted together, your ambition and his tenacity tend to be a deadly combination, and as luck would have it, a rare buck deer had crossed your path today, resulting in an even more substantial promise of survival than the turkey. As the two of you worked quickly to prepare the carcass for packing it out, you could feel the tension ebbing away between you, could tell by the way Gale’s strong shoulders relaxed and his jaw unclenched that the immediate worry of ensuring his mother and younger siblings had enough to eat this week had faded.

He would never say as much out loud, but you know it keeps him up at night when they do go hungry, can imagine how he must pace the floors of his house at night, cursing himself for falling short of the herculean standards that the loss of his father set upon him.

He should be able to sleep somewhat peacefully tonight, knowing they will survive another day thanks to him. 

“That was a good shot,” he says after a while of working in silence, and there’s a deep-running warmth threaded through his tone. “You really slowed him down.” 

You shove his shoulder, making him laugh and then scold you for jostling him with a knife in his hands. “Not so shabby on that killing shot yourself, Hawk-eyes. You’ll have food for awhile.” 

“You’re not getting away without some of it,” he insists. “It’s as much yours as mine.” 

And because you know refusing Gale an act of service is a surefire way to start an argument and guarantee his sullen silence again, you agree that you’ll take a sizable portion back to your family when the two of you head back. Placated for the time being, he finally lets his tongue run — about how he’s managing in the mines, what his siblings have been up to, how even in the midst of his exhaustion, he still lives for the end of the work week when he can escape to the forest again. There are new themes of thought that surface and submerge like fish between his words, murmurs of rebellion, thoughts of standing up to the Capitol at last, but they are hushed and quickly moved on from. 

No matter how much you might support him, he doesn’t want to worry you too much yet. 

“What about you and Katniss?” you finally prod, trying to ignore the familiar jolt of envy that tastes so sour on your tongue whenever you say their names together in the same breath. 

He stills; when his eyes flicker up to yours again they’re guarded and cold. “What about me and Katniss?” 

“Well, she’s conspicuously not here with you.” You flick flyaway hairs away from your face in irritation, the damp air making them cling to your skin. “Don’t be like that, Gale. I’ve been your friend long enough to not deserve your cagey act anymore. Let me in. Please.” 

He stares up at you for so long from his position kneeling on the forest floor, you standing over him, pleading him with your eyes to let someone else shoulder part of the heavy load he carries for once. And you’re struck by those traitorous thoughts again in the silvery silence — how unreasonably lovely he is, with that sharply angled jawline, and those softly curving lips, that thick dark hair you’ve always secretly wanted to tangle your fingers in as he leans down, your name on his tongue and a teasing glint in his melancholy eyes — 

“I think I made a mistake,” he finally mutters. “I know I can’t understand fully what she’s seen or who she is now, but is it completely wrong of me to just wish things didn’t have to change?” 

The man who means more to you than anything has never looked more lost and uncertain than in this moment of admission, and you sink to your knees in front of him, suddenly overtaken by a wave of softness that takes a second to fully process. “I’m sorry, Gale, I am. We all change, and I know how it feels to wonder if someone still cares or not.” You shake away your own uncertainties you’ve been having ever since she came back and he’s been chasing her attentions around.

“It’s only natural to want to pick up right where you left off, I get it.” 

His gaze sharpens, though the rest of his face remains calculated and unreadable. “Have I been ignoring you lately, Spark?”

It seems like a genuine question, as if running back through the last few months in his mind he now acutely senses your absence from them. 

You reach out, trailing the tips of your fingers ever so lightly down his cheek. The gesture isn’t novel, you’ve used it to comfort him before, especially when you aren’t sure how much physical contact he wants on a given day, but something feels different about it today, some electric shiver passing between you that makes his mouth twitch and causes you to pull your hand away as if shocked. 

“I need you too, Hawk-eyes,” you murmur, almost under your breath. “I need you.” 

To your dismay, the intimate moment abruptly ends; he tears away from the echo of your touch and is on his feet again in an instant, eyes now pale and hard as ice as he smolders down at your upturned face. 

Reeling with confusion and hurt, you try to understand what just happened. “Gale, wait! What did I —?” 

“It’s that damn word,” he half-snarls, but you hear the raw pain bubbling beneath his attempt at anger. “Need. My family needs me, the District needs me, Katniss needs me to be there when she can’t find what she needs from anyone else. Everyone needs me, Spark.” 

You stare wordlessly into his face, silently begging him to help you understand. His eyelashes glimmer with droplets from the mist and maybe something else, the anger draining away as quickly as it had appeared. 

“I would just like to be here because I’m wanted for once.” 

He’s gone in only a handful of long strides, the undergrowth rattling in his wake. 

And you’re left alone in a space all at once too cold and quiet, wondering what the hell it will finally take to make it through those impenetrable walls and at last touch his solitary wounded heart. 

The sun has sunk lower in the sky by the time you find the fallen tree beside the stream and discover its unexpected bounty. You’re not too far from where you left the deer, knowing neither you nor Gale can pack it out by yourself, but far enough away to give him space if he goes back there first. 

He and his prickly attitude leave your thoughts momentarily, however, when you see the bees returning to the gutted form of the dead tree. Where there are bees there might be honey, and your mouth waters at the distant memory of that sweet, energy-filled delicacy. You swiftly fall to the work of building a small, smoky fire and holding the billowing branches underneath their main entrance, waiting for the buzzing to slow and finally fade out before carefully peeling away some of the cracked wood and extracting your prize, leaving a piece behind of course for the hardworking insects to enjoy themselves. 

Wrapping the majority of the honeycomb in leaves that you know are safe to be in contact with food, you settle at last in a spot looking over the water, ready to enjoy a taste of your labors.

Closing your eyes, you let the first drop of sun-warmed sweetness land on your tongue, and the sound of appreciation that escapes your throat is shamelessly suggestive of something else.

So you freeze for a second in horror when Gale’s familiar voice rumbles through your senses. 

“So is this your little secret, or were you planning to share with me?” 

You compose your thudding heart and suddenly hot face, glancing up at where he now towers over you, arms crossed over his broad chest and a wicked smirk on his handsome face. By the high-tilted eyebrow that asks a sensitive question without really asking, he definitely heard you, and he wants you to know that. 

So you hold eye contact with him, even as the thick honey continues to drip down, painting your tongue in cloudy golden shades of wildflower sugar.

And to your gratification, you don’t think you imagine the way his eyes dart away ever so briefly, or how his own tongue runs across his lower lip. 

“I was gonna share,” you finally say, your own voice coming out slow and sticky after swallowing. “But I didn’t know where you’d run off to.” 

“Hm. I’m not convinced.”

He lowers his tall body to the ground beside you, reaching for your piece of honeycomb, and because he seems to have let go of his earlier flash of annoyance, you let him take it, gaze now glued to the entrancing picture of him as he opens his own mouth and lets the sweet amber substance drizzle between his parted lips, tongue lifting to capture any stray drops that threaten to escape. 

“Don’t be selfish,” you tease, but it comes out strangely heavy, and something kindles deep in your chest as his eyes slide sideways to pin themselves to yours.

It’s an oddly incriminating image almost, though you couldn’t name why, to see him stare you down like that with fresh honey glistening on his lips and fingers; he, however, doesn’t seem to feel any such sense of indignity. 

Without a word, he holds the waxy section out once more, his free hand coming up to your face so that his thumb gently coaxes your lips apart again. 

“You want more?” he asks, a silky hum. 

You have no idea if he’s even talking about the honey anymore, but you nod anyway, too breathless at how close he is, how much bigger he is than you. 

So he complies, trickles the comb’s gleaming goodness into your mouth with an intense focus that you can hear in the roughness of his hot breath as it washes across your skin. His chest is inches away from yours, one of his muscular thighs resting between your legs. You’re aware that your own breathing is turning shaky, and you gasp softly when a splash of honey rolls from the corner of your mouth and starts running down your face. 

Gale is quick, but not quick enough, and though his other hand catches some of the rogue rivulet, he can only watch as the rest rolls to your chest, landing on the stretch of exposed skin right at the tops of your breasts, a single drop of gold hovering just above the scooping neckline of your black shirt, daring him to take some sort of action to solve the predicament he has caused. 

His eyes move up from the now very rapid rise and fall of your chest to your widened, startled gaze.

You look like a wild animal he’s surprised on the hunt, and he now finds that he fiercely hopes whatever comes next doesn’t spook you away. 

“Can I?” he whispers, honeycomb now forgotten and set aside. 

You nod your assent, keeping your focus fixed on his face. 

A hand approaches your body with all of the steady patience you’ve seen him exercise when stalking his prey, and the touch of two fingers to the delicate skin below your collarbone is warm and gentle. His hands are beautiful too, broad and long-fingered, the veins that hint at his great strength clearly delineated in the low-slanting sunlight.

You watch like a fascinated outside observer as those work-roughened fingers swipe the honey away, a shiver fluttering across your flesh as you feel the way he smoothly follows the swells of your bust and the dip between. 

He catches the tremor he caused and pulls away, looking back up at your face even as he licks the honey from his fingertips, and you wonder what’s running through his mind, and if it’s nearly as incendiary as what that simple action sends through yours. 

“Alright?” 

It’s a one-word question that leaves his mouth as something like a purr, though you sense the true concern behind it.

He worries he’s gone too far, and he’d never forgive himself if he pushed you into anything you didn’t want, no matter how small. 

He cares about you too much for that. 

“Yes.” You blink and gather your scattered thoughts. “Better than alright. Gale…?” 

He leans even closer, bringing your faces only a mere breath apart.

The blue-gray eyes have gone as feathery soft as mist in the early morning, and the sight makes your chest ache with something you cannot quite name. 

“You didn’t get all of it. I’m still sticky.” 

Gale searches your expression for confirmation, wary of his next move. “You know what you’re asking?” 

Your hands are on his chest now, and you can feel that despite his much more outwardly collected demeanor, his heart is beating just as hard as yours. 

“I want your help,” you tell him firmly, and you feel the way that simple word, want, finally pierces his armor, makes him twitch like the bite of a gnat. 

So he bends down, and the moment his mouth connects with your chest, time stops. 

It’s a lightning strike, crackling through your entire body. 

His lips are cool, chilled by the evening air, and they’re every bit as perfect as you’ve always imagined. You could stay there forever in the mesmerizing trap of his kiss, but the addition of his sultry tongue, sweeping a slow track along the path his fingers had gone only a few minutes before, is what fully unravels you, sending his name from your own mouth in a whine and prompting one of your hands to slide up his neck and into his hair — and it, too, is everything you’ve dreamed of, dense and wild and begging to be tamed by your grasping desperation. He growls in surprise at the unexpected sensation of your fingernails, but you feel rather than hear it, the vibrations of his voice thrumming deep inside your body. 

You know the entire exchange must only take a few minutes, but it seems like an eternity that he’s there, sucking the honey trail from your skin, his still-sticky fingers leaving behind more prints that he also endeavors to remove. You pull his body closer to yours, until it seems you breathe one breath, share one heartbeat as he rocks you back and forth with the barely restrained desire to push you over until he can cover you completely. 

But it can be deadly to lose concentration in the woods, especially so close to nightfall, and regretfully the pair of you pull away in unspoken agreement, staring at each other and trying to understand fully what just happened. 

“We should get a move on,” Gale finally huffs. “That deer won’t carry itself.” 

Temperamental, taciturn Gale.

Always concerned with the practical side of things. 

No more words are exchanged between the two of you as you pack up the day’s yield and slip back into the somewhat relative safety of the Seam. The meat is stored away at Gale’s house (he knows you’ll come back for your share, or else he’ll find you and force you to take it) and at last there is really nothing more left to do, so you step out the door and into the lengthening shadows. 

When you look back, however, he’s still standing there in the doorframe, and there’s a tentative curiosity written across his face, a reluctance to have this be goodnight and goodbye until his next free day. 

And you could lie and say you don’t feel the same way, but you and Gale have never lied to each other. 

“What?” you tease, echoing his demand of much earlier. 

He opens his mouth, then closes it again and shrugs helplessly. “I…I don’t know, Spark. Where do you want…this…to go?” 

You ponder that, taking in the familiar sight of him with warm fondness. He looks tired, shoulders slouched and face smudged with gray dust from the mines, but there’s something different there tonight, a fragile hope behind his resting sullen expression, some aura about him that pleads with you not to leave him alone tonight. 

Even a man as strong as Gale Hawthorne has his limits. 

So you give in to temptation. 

“The washtub at my house is bigger, you know. And we both could use a hand cleaning up.” 

He steps down from the threshold to follow you back to your home. 

You know what you’re really offering to him. 

And so does he. 

When you wake with first light, he’s already long gone. Only the dip in the other side of your worn mattress remains to suggest another body was actually there. 

You’re not surprised, and not really hurt. He has his job to get back to, after all, a family to feed and a whole village to look after. But you wonder briefly, after having watched him fall asleep with his arms wrapped around you and his face hidden in your chest, long eyelashes leaving butterfly kisses against your flesh, what it would be like to watch him wake up, too. 

You imagine his eyes are even prettier then, hazy with sleep and not yet hardened to withstand the day’s toils ahead. 

Last night feels like a strange dream of lukewarm water and skin on skin, sporadically interspersed with starkly clear images of his well-muscled form and those clever hands traveling across the width and breadth of yours. When you close your eyes you can still feel his heavy weight on top of you, pressing you deeper into the mattress, and you feel oddly empty and untethered now in its absence.

Only the dark blossoms his mouth left behind on your body and a selection of new — but not unpleasant — aches tells you that what you shared was in fact as real as this morning. 

What it means going forward, you don’t know. 

But you don’t regret a single moment of it. 

As you dress and prepare to head out for the day, your mother’s voice calls you into the main room. “One of the younger Hawthorne children brought you something — said it’s from your friend.” 

You see it there on the table, a folded scrap of rough paper and a single daisy, still fresh enough to mean he probably cut it on his way back to his house. 

A small smile creeps across your lips as you unfold the note. 

Spark — 

I don’t want this to be just a one-time thing. At least, not if you feel that way too. 

Sorry I had to go. I wish I could have stayed. 

You may not need me to survive, but you made me realize something. 

I need you. 

— Gale 

Hastily re-folding the paper, you tuck it away into your shirt pocket, close to your heart. 

Stubborn Gale Hawthorne. 

He’d never been much of a talker, so you know just how much those simple three words at the end of his message really mean. 

For the man who needs no one to admit he can’t go on without you?

He might as well rival the old poets in their epic declarations of love. 

Gale is much like the wild honey that started all of this, you realize, as you snatch a piece of the comb on your way out into the harsh world beyond. Once you manage to get past his defensive sting, there are so many intoxicating flavors to taste within. 

And whatever he still needs to work out with Katniss…. 

He doesn’t want this to be a one-time thing.