#EPISODES SPECIFICALLY CRAFTED TO DRIVE ME INSANE

[briankang]

Young K of DAY6 and Hui from Pentagon have a special upcoming stage together for episode 13 of K-909 airing May 13th at 4:40 KST! 

(Studio J and JYP labelmates Xdinary Heroes will also be in the episode to promote Freakin’ Bad as well as aespa and Lee Mujin!)

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Battle Of The Knights Pt. 3: Round 2 - Jake

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none again

Genre: fluff, of course it's fluff

Summary: "So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

What happens when the relationships you've built with Marc and his two alters are turned on their heads by a proposition that is anything but simple? How can they expect you to risk blowing up the carefully crafted dynamic you've worked so hard to create? And why do you agree to such an insane suggestion?

***

Your date with Steven stays with you for the rest of the week. You're so used to spending most days with Marc or Jake or Steven that it is admittedly strange to not see them for the sake of this experiment they're running. You give yourself an extra week to prepare before you text the trio again for Jake. The same message you sent to Steven.

Jake. Your week starts Sunday. You have until next Sunday to plan and execute a date on a day of your choosing or you forfeit your turn.

The initial response you get is a short one.

Okay.

Two days pass before you get any information on your next date.

Our date is Friday, I'll pick you up at 5:30 P.M. - Jake

The message excites you more than you expected it to but you keep your response noncommittal.

What should I wear?

You forgot to ask Steven and although you did fine with your choice for his date you do not want to risk ending up in the wrong outfit

Anything you'd like. You look stunning in everything.

You can't help but smile at his message. Jake is usually quite stingy with compliments.

That's not helpful

His response comes after a few moments.

Fine. I'd recommend not wearing heels. You can keep it more on the casual side.

The recommendation piques your curiosity. You can understand the casual suggestion but to specifically advise against heels, you wonder what exactly he could be planning for you.

Thank you

You had definitely been anticipating your date with Steven before, but the week drags on as you all but count down to Friday. Jake, almost surprising you, knocks on your door exactly at 5:30. Not that Jake is a particularly unreliable person but punctuality has always been on Steven, although you suppose since this whole thing was Jake's idea it would make sense that he takes it seriously. When you open the door, Jake looks incredibly relaxed in his slacks and a two-toned button-down shirt.

"Hola princesa. You look nice." He tells you with an easy smile.

"Thank you Jake. You don't look too bad yourself." You return the smile and Jake laughs. You chose a summery dress from your closet and paired it with some cute but functional boots. Jake holds out a hand gesturing for you two to make your way down and once you lock your apartment, his hand gently lands on the small of your back as you leave your building.

"We're driving?" You ask when you spot his cab outside your apartment.

"Sí. We have to." He nods.

"Where are we going?" You ask.

"It's a surprise. Don't worry, you'll love it." He says opening your door and helping you into the car. You know he's not going to tell you, so you shoot him a curious look as he walks around the front of the car and gets in, but you don't press it for now. You watch the city pass by through the window while Jake drives, music filling the silence. Just like with Steven, the quiet isn't awkward, it's peaceful and despite your curiosity, you're content just riding silently for now. The drive isn't short but quite some time passes before you finally give in to the desire to probe for answers on where he could be taking you.

"Jake, we've completely left the city. Where on earth are we going?" You frown.

"Patience cariño. It's worth the trip. I promise." He says. Shortly after that, he finally stops the car in what is very clearly the middle of nowhere.

"Jake- this is how Dateline episodes start." You joke as he gets out of the car and he laughs as he runs around to open your door before you can.

"Come now mi vida, I couldn't hurt you, our lives would be much worse without you in it." He says, helping you out of the car.

"That's hardly comforting." You muse. Jake rolls his eyes, failing to hide the smile he's fighting as he shakes his head at you.

"Let's go." Jake says leading you away from the car by the hand that he's holding. It seems he's brought you to a field of grassy hills and in the open space you see the large colorful balloon before you reach it.

"Is that a hot air balloon?" You ask him.

"It is."

"Are we getting in it?!"

"Of course. I've heard it's a nice way to watch the sunset."

"Oh my gosh!" You squeal turning to Jake with excitement. When you reach the balloon, Jake lifts you into it and then hops in himself as if it's not as high as your torso. "Wait a second are you going to fly this thing yourself?" You ask when you realize there's no one else around.

"Why? No faith in my arial skills?"

"Jake have you ever flown a hot air balloon?" You ask.

"You'd be surprised by the things I've done princesa." He snorts. "Relax hm? I wouldn't put you in any danger." He adds when you don't laugh at his retort. "These things are pretty easy to use you know. I could even teach you to do it." Jake yanks a cord that shoots a flame up into the pocket of the balloon and you start to float higher.

"Sounds terrifying." You say flatly and Jake pulls you towards one corner of the basket.

"Y/n, look, we're tethered to the ground. All I'm doing is keeping us in the air, but we won't be floating off with the wind or anything." He points to a rope that's anchored into the ground below you.

"Oh. Okay."

"Feeling better?"

"Much." You nod and Jake laughs so heartily you can't help but smile.

"You know, I almost took you skydiving for this." He muses.

"Skydiving?! Are you out of your mind?! That's not something you just spring on somebody without warning Lockley!" You blink at him incredulously. 

"Yeah see, that look? I saw it in my head while planning and realized how bad of an idea it would be."

"You may like to play with your life but I do not like playing with mine." You shake your head.

"I don't like playing with your life either." Jake says pulling you close to him with an arm draped over your shoulders. It seems Jake planned everything perfectly timing-wise as the sun is just starting to dip once your balloon is as high as the rope will allow it. For a while, you both just watch the sun disappear and enjoy each others' company, Jake occasionally pulling that cord to send more heat into the balloon. He even convinces you to do it a couple of times and only once the sun is completely gone and the stars are winking at you does he let the balloon float back to the ground. When you finally descend again Jake hops out of the basket and then helps you out of it with the same ease he got you both into it.

"That was amazing!"

"I told you you'd like it."

"Yes well, you were right. The sunset was gorgeous from up there."

"We're not done, I have something else for you." Jake says taking your hand.

"Something else?" You ask allowing him to lead you over a couple of the hills. When you reach the top of one after a few minutes there's a blanket laid out surrounded by the most adorable lanterns and a basket sitting in the middle. "How did you- when did you have time to set this all up?" You look at him, surprise clear in your voice.

"I had a little help." He shrugs. "Do you like it?" He asks in a rare moment that reminds you that he is still part of the same system as Steven and Marc.

"It's beautiful Jake." You tell him.

"Let's eat." He says leading you to the gorgeous setup and guiding you to sit on the blanket before he drops down next to you.

"I can't believe you set all this up Jake." You say while Jake unpacks the picnic basket.

"The point was to surprise you." He smiles. "I didn't wanna just bring a bunch of cheese and fruit so I made carnitas tacos, I was going to do tamales but- I'm actually no good at tamales and I'm trying to impress you so that was definitely not the way to go."

"Anything you made would've impressed me amor. You don't cook often." You chuckle. Jake sets up your plate of adorable small tacos and then hands it to you. He pours you a glass of wine and then sorts out himself, a plate of food, and a glass of wine to match yours.

"I hope it tastes alright." Jake muses as he watches you examine your food.

"Only one way to find out babe." You wink. You pick up one of the tacos and take a bite. Jake watches with barely hidden anticipation while you chew and swallow. He hasn't touched his own plate yet, and you take your time sharing your conclusion on the food just because it's fun to make him sweat sometimes.

"You look like you're going to grind your teeth to dust any minute now." You chuckle at him and he immediately loosens his jaw. "Your food will get cold Jake." You hum.

"Are you going to make me beg muñequita?"

"I could." You smile like a Cheshire cat. "It's good Jake! Come on, you know you cook well." You laugh, giving in when his eyes narrow.

"Troublemaker." He kisses his teeth at you.

"You'd know for yourself if you bothered eating your own food Jake." You say.

"I'm not picky Amor, but the goal was to make something you would like." Jake says, finally eating his own tacos.

"Well you succeeded. Although you seem to have lots of goals for tonight." You muse.

"Of course, I'm trying to sweep you off your feet here and you deserve only the best. I won't give you anything less."

"That's very sweet of you Jake. Although nobody said you had to pull out all the stops, it's just a first date." You chuckle.

"And it may be a last if I'm not smart about it." He shrugs. You shake your head but allow yourself to fall into a peaceful quiet while you eat. You watch the night sky as you do and for a brief moment, you think about Steven, about how excited he'd be to tell you about the constellations that can be seen because of how clear the sky is way out here. You feel guilty about it, that couple of minutes that your mind wandered to another alter, but you don't let it dampen your mood enough for Jake to notice, instead, you engage him in conversation and the two of you talk over dessert that Jake also packed. When food has long been finished and the moon is pretty much directly above you, you and Jake finally move to leave. He packs up the picnic basket and with his hand resting on your back, the two of you return to his car. The drive back into town feels shorter than it did on the way out. Maybe because you're no longer anticipating anything, because Jake delivered on this being worth the trip and the wait and now you're so beyond content, and a little sleepy, that not even the long drive it takes to get you back to your apartment can affect your mood. By the time you get back to your building, it is after midnight and you're so close to falling asleep that Jake actually carries you up to your apartment- despite your mumbling protests that you can in fact still walk. You make him put you down at your door though, practically jumping out of his arms because you know that left to him he'd deposit you right into your bed, and while you appreciate the sentiment you have no desire to have him do that tonight.

"I had a lot of fun with you tonight Jake." You tell him with a smile.

"And I with you. Thank you for spending the time with me." He says while you unlock your apartment door.

"You don't have to thank me. It was your idea that got us here in the first place." You shrug turning back to face him.

"Maybe so, but I will always be thankful for your company." Jake says. You blink at him for a moment and then, you step forward enough to get on your tip toes and kiss him softly on the cheek.

"And I will always be thankful for yours." You say. "Goodnight Jake. Get home safe." You add before entering your apartment. If you had more energy you'd probably be squealing through your entire nighttime routine but all you have the strength for is a goofy smile as you shower and change into your pajamas. This trio will absolutely be the death of you at this rate. If excitement for Marc's doesn't get you the sheer bliss from Steven's and Jake's certainly will.

Two down, one to go, and then somehow- they expect you to choose.

***

Taglist: @queerponcho @avengersinitiative2012 @stressed-cherry

[sparxemberflame]

Fuckin'... Aabria Iyengar.

I am... In awe. I am delerious. I am chomping at the bit. I just... Fuck!!

So. Past two weeks/episodes Especially. Watching/listening to Burrow's End and Worlds Beyond Number back to back is an Experience. Having 2 seperate shows that contain Brennan Lee Mulligan, Erika Ishii and Aabria, in my ears telling me different stories 2 eps at a time is an absolute blast (shoutout to Lou, Jasper, Isabella, Rashawn, Siobhan and rest of cast and crew on both shows too you're awesome! Not the focus of this little outburst.)

Anyway it's GREAT. Highly recommend both shows and there are parallels I'll get into elsewhere, elsewhen. But.

This is an Aabria Iyengar specifically fucking Stan post.

You have made me feel so many overwhelmingly cool, awesome and intimate emotions and ideas that I can hardly begin to explain them. For some reason the only fucking thing that comes close is this. Silly but sorta deep thing about my favorite snack (shout out to snack gang) a Ferrero Rocher:

Aabria,

Shall I compare thee intricate weaving of characters and narratives to a Ferrero Rocher?

I shall. For this is no poem or any such writing of iambic pentameter. It is at best a floundering simile.

You have a way of creating characters and stories which much like a certain confectionary treat when unwrapped contains such an immense blend of texture and flavor. Each instance containing a wholly unique configuration of features bound together in perfectly imperfect unity. Not wholly smooth round but spherical oozing with points of uniqueness sticking out all over.

But yet if you dig just a bit deeper. There's this. Shell. Not a Barrier as it might first seem. But an Obstacle. A Challenge of sorts. Put there not to deter you but to provoke a moment of reflection. I think of Suvi and her refusal to process or be truly vulnerable in most situations. I think of the intricate power-structures of Last Bast and the Hint of this Wall that something Richer. More interesting, more honest and lovingly crafted lies Just Beneath.

This shell. Which you'll find is litterally Wafer-Thin. Should you ask the right question. Follow the right narrative thread. Bite into it with your teeth.

That curiosity is. Always and forever rewarded. With a richness of flavour and care that feels like a hug, like understanding, like being, at last: Home.

It is easy to get lost in that and yet even in this sea of what I can only call love. You find it. The Core. The hazelnut. A moral. Or a question, or a consequence. Something to once again think about and bite into.

And you realise. Once you've finally reach it that this core. This secret. Was Always Obvious. It was Sprinkled. All atop the very first layer. Litterally poking out. Each and every goddamn feature sticking out. Every chopped up uniquely distinct feature.

Was made up of the same material. Was the Core The Whole Time. Visible to the naked eye. But now having experienced the whole show. The whole treat. It is gone.

But its nourished you. The treat nourishes my body. The way Aabria tells stories nourishes my very soul.

Thinking back on many stories told that core in plain sight is often about Family or Love and the relationships between. Far from an uncommon subject in stories. But something about it. Something about the unique way Aabria does it in not just one but seemingly every story and character she creates. Its fantastic, its familiar and it... I can't describe it any other way than that it fills me with elation, jubilation and a deep sense of belonging and the implications therein drives me absolutely insane.

It's with my hat off, eyes sparkling in adoration and my heart full that I say:

Thank you Aabria Iyengar for telling these stories, for bringing these characters to life. They have changed me and many others forever and have and continue to drive me to create my own stories and campaigns for many years to come.

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Daisy Jones & the Six episode 1.04 "Track 4: I Saw the Light"

I’m so floored by the collaboration on this show. That’s my favorite thing about tv as a whole; it takes an insane amount of people and skillsets and moving parts to make it, and somehow everyone and everything is able to get on the same page about something so specific. Everyone is so skilled and passionate and devoted to the little piece that they contribute to the puzzle that there’s no other option but to trust that your team cares about their job as much as you do about yours. I really can’t think of a more collaborative medium, but Daisy Jones & the Six takes it a step above.

I have more to say about the concept and execution of this show than I do about the specifics of the plot, but I wanted to talk about this episode because the song “Look at Us Now” really encompasses everything that works about the show and its music, both within the Daisy Jones universe and out. Shows about performers, particularly fictional ones, and especially successful ones, are really difficult to pull off. If you’re going to tell me something is a world-class performance and then show it to me and have it be underwhelming, I’m going to be pulled out of the story. Writing, which is ideally invisible, becomes apparent when a room bursts into applause after a performance that doesn’t warrant that reaction. It makes you realize that you’re not a fly on the wall of an organic experience; rather, you’re an audience member of a meticulously crafted piece of art where every movement was prescribed by the script. That’s how you’re supposed to feel when you see a musical, but tv is supposed to make you feel like these people just opened the door and let you in.

This has been what’s kept me from fully embracing The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I won’t dive too deep with this, but my micro review is: the show is funny, Midge Maisel isn’t. The show is telling me that Midge is a once-in-a-generation comedian, but it’s not showing it. It’s practically insinuating that her gift to comedy makes her breakthrough into the industry a necessity, and yet, even when her set ends in a standing ovation and raucous applause, I don’t find myself laughing.

Midge Maisel and Daisy Jones are actually pretty comparable, personality-wise. I don’t particularly like either of them, but when Daisy overstays her welcome on stage, even when it drives me up a wall, I get it. Her talent speaks for itself, her charm is palpable, and you can’t deny that she brings the band to the next level, as much as Billy would like to. This is the episode following the tense studio recording of “Look at Us Now”, and the song was an instant hit. They’ve got their first festival gig- it’s in the middle of the day in Hawaii, but it’s their biggest break yet. They get to play a full set, one that wouldn’t include Daisy or “Look at Us Now” at all if Billy had his way, but unfortunately, it’s just too good.

Still, Billy’s right to be upset with her at this point- that was so rude and disrespectful I was fuming on his behalf. And I don’t even think anything he says in the post-show interview is out of line, even though it seems to be the thing that really sparks their tailspin of a relationship. But the rest of the band has an easier time making peace with it because they can all feel what she can bring to the band, By the end of this episode, it’s really just everyone waiting for Billy to get on board.

This show does an incredible job with subtext, emotionally loaded interactions, and the nature of creative collaboration. Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, when you click with someone, it is an incredibly powerful feeling. If there’s one thing we can say about Billy and Daisy, they click. The second they met she knew him better than anyone. The inevitability of their relationship is conveyed so well, and to quote their own song, it was out of their hands.

To touch on the songs themselves for a second, "Look at Us Now" would have found its way into my Spotify library whether I watched the show or not- I just love the way it sounds. In the next episode it will be the number one song in the world in the Daisy Jones universe, and if someone told me it was the number one song in our world too, I’d believe it. If it’s not at the top of my Spotify Wrapped I’ll be amazed. It’s a song that we’re told is great because the plot demands it, and it’s also just actually great.

The nature of Billy’s wanting to write every song as an aspirational ode to the man he wants to be to Camila, and Daisy’s subsequent changing of them to a more melancholy, yet realistic depiction of who he actually is, keeps everything and everyone wound in a tight, tense, entangled ball. Daisy’s deep understanding of Billy catapults her into a different kind of intimacy than he’s ever shared with Camila, yet Camila will always be his muse, the source of his inspiration and person he’s directing his music towards. It’s an emotional charge that speaks for itself through looks, music, and perfect chemistry among the cast.

Beyond the show, their full-length album is available on Spotify under the artist name of Daisy Jones & the Six, and I’m hearing rumors that the cast is pushing to go on tour as the band. This is really just different, I haven’t seen anything quite like it before (the closest thing I can compare it to is Big Time Rush, but mostly as a joke). I’ve been in a lot of debates recently about if Daisy Jones & the Six is a “real” band. I seem to be in the minority with my adamant yes- I’m met with the rebuttal that they’re using the name of a fictional band where they merely played its fictional members on tv. But I would argue that the band stopped being entirely fictional when its members recorded and released an authentic album. If you play a musician on tv by performing music, at what point do you also become a musician?

So what do you think? Is Daisy Jones & the Six a real band? If they went on tour, would you go see them? Do you vouch for their music as much as I do?

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

[crystal-moon-101]

Right, so here’s my rewrite of the Dagon Arc of ultimate alien! It’s long but I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think. There are changes in this that reflect other changes I’ve made in the series, so sorry if anything confuses you here, I’ll try and get around to the other arc rewrites I need to note down. I also want to note that this isn’t every single detail of what happens around the time of this arc, like any filler episodes or something, it’s mostly just the main points of how I would have taken the plotline.

But without further ado, good old Elder God time!

-Dagon’s History-

Dagon used to be a ruler of Ledgerdomain, and was a reasonable leader. However, after being involved in a heavy war in the galaxy, Ledgerdomain was left damaged and scrambling to pick up their pieces when attacked by outside forces wishing to take over Ledgerdomain. Running out of ideas, even with the aid of the Alpha Rune that had been passed down by each ruler, Dagon eventually resorts to pure dark magic to save his home.

Dagon wins, saving his home and people. However, the dark magic starts to twist his mind and physical body, even tainting the Alpha Rune he had been wearing at the time. This causes Dagon to rule Ledgerdomain in a cruel manner, despite those who tried reaching out to him.

Eventually, Dagon’s corrupt mind turns to earth, wanting to conquer it, feeling this strange sense inside him of wanting more, a hunger for power that can’t ever be filled. 

Dagon strikes earth, with his most loyal followers being Lucubra, creatures he made out of his own magic, and members of Ledgerdomain who call themselves Esoterica, who believe Dagon’s new way of life is what they need, for if their leader did not sacrifice himself to dark magic, Ledgerdomain would have been lost.

The rest of the people in Ledgerdomain did not agree to this, and started a rebellion against their lord, and joined forces with earth humans to fight against Dagon and his people. Two noticeable fighters were Sir George of earth, a knight with semi immortality and peak human physicality, and a sorceress warrior named Iris Spellblade, a powerful magic user and niece of Dagon.

Ledgerdomain ended up crafting a sword they called Ascalon, a powerful magic weapon with many abilities, including the power to trap dark magic users into it, specifically designed to fight Dagon with, with Iris originally wielding it. 

However, during a fight with Dagon, Iris was killed, managing to hand the sword to Sir George in time for him to wield it, where he successfully trapped the power hungry demon in it. There was a brief moment where, since George was close to the sword by holding it, was still being affected by Dagon’s magic, who tried using George’s inner demons against him to get free, but George’s strong will was enough for him to hide the sword in a cave somewhere on earth, before sealing it up eventually. Also when Dagon was trapped, he dropped the Alpha Rune, which was given back to Ledgerdomain.

With the war over, Ledgerdomain left to go back home and try and pick up the piece of what was left of their Kingdom, but it was clear things were still going downhill for them. For one thing, when they tried picking a new leader and giving them Alpha Rune, the dark magic that tainted the powerful stone would now drive those who wore it insane and evil, and there seemed to be no way to fix it. Without the Alpha Rune, no leader was strong enough to rule, and many leaders fell quickly each time a new one was elicited, and the Alpha Rune was put away for the time being, seeing that it was too dangerous to use now. 

Sir George, now looking at his home planet in a new light, feared for the safety of humanity now seeing a glimpse of what was outside their world, especially when hearing rumours and stories about creatures from the stars appearing here and there. He knew if nothing was done now, then their future would suffer. So he build up his own team and organization, known as the Forever Knights, who will do anything to protect earth from outside forces.

However, after sometime, Sir George realised that followers of Dagon were will around, or at least people who heard stories of him and wanted to free him for different reason, and since George is the only person who knows where Dagon and ascalon are, he decided to go into hiding around the time Lucubras and Esotericas openingly started hunting him down. He eventually succeeded in vanishing, but kept an eye on things from time to time when he could.

Sometime after Sir George vanished, the Forever Knights would start to crack into different factions over time, arguing what the true meaning behind their group was about.

Because of the events of Dagon, Ledgerdomain’s kingdom was falling apart over time, even playing apart in the future when Addwaitya appeared, taking the Alpha Rune to power himself and conquer Ledgerdomain for himself, resulting in the death and runaways of many, including Charmcaster, her father and her uncle. Addwaitya did successfully rule what was left of Ledgerdomain, and actually held together what remained of it, mostly thanks to the Alpha Rune, but it was still twisting his mind and making him rule as a tyrant. 

-Dagan’s Arc-

The gang are starting to catch a wee break after the Aggregor and Evil Kevin situation, but things aren’t going easy. Their identities being out to the world, and earth knowing more about aliens at this point, is causing issues in the group’s private lives, namely Ben’s. Kevin is still dealing with some problems towards what happened to him, and certain things Aggregor said to him, Gwen is trying to support him, but is also dealing with her own problems, while trying to find ways back to Ledgerdomain, worried about Charmcaster since they last saw her wanting to deal with Addwaitya herself. Ben is dealing with a number of issues, and is all over the place not knowing what to do or how to handle things, unfortunately bringing out a negative side to himself he still can’t stop himself from doing. Julie is dealing with how fast things are going in terms of earth’s now sudden connection to the outside galaxy, and while she had been mostly fine with it at the start, it’s starting to become a little too much for her, especially after seeing some of the stuff Aggregor did. It doesn’t help her and Ben are struggling with their relationship because of most of these issues too.

Meanwhile, the Lucubras and Esotericas are still hiding about to this day, with Esotericas pretending to be everyday people, and creating links everywhere. They are still having fights with the Forever Knights, but most fights between the two sides are in secret. Though now, Ben and his friends have bumped into a few, confused by what is going on.

The Esoterica leader, Conduit Edwards, starts to take notice of Ben’s crew when they fight the Forever Knights, especially on Gwen when seeing her magic. They send Lucubras after them, and one of the creatures briefly connects mentally with Gwen, using her magic to finally be able to track down Ascalon, though the others manage to get the thing off of her and retreat. Gwen’s memories are a little muddled up, so she’s not exactly sure what they used her powers for at the time being.

The Esotericas and Lucubras locate the sword, wishing to free their Master, however they find they can not touch it, due to the sword’s ability to trap those with magic similar to Dagon, and can only be wielded by those with very strong will. They realise they must trick someone into freeing Dagon. That being said, they are able to make enough contact with Dagon that allows him to talk through some of the Lucubras and Esoterica members.

Sir George senses this, still having a connection to the sword, and returns to the Forever Knights to lead them. However, sparks start to arise when Ben and his crew question the Forever Knights, knowing something is up at this point. Fights keep breaking out when Ben, Kevin, Gwen and sometimes Julie keep interfering in Forever Knight plans, even the Plumber Kids start joining in, and since Forever Knights are not happy with how aliens are now trying to join earth at this point, this does not please them.

However, despite this, Ben and Sir George do try and reason with each other at times, as Ben can tell that Sir George isn’t as bad as he may seem, and George sees some interesting potential in Ben.

Eventually, Ben and the others start to piece together a little more on what is actually happening, after running into a few more Forever Knights and Dagon’s followers, even briefly talking to Dagon through one of Esoterica members he’s connected with. It eventually boils down to Ben demanding answers from George, knowing that whatever is going on might require both the Forever Knights and the Plumbers, and that they have common ground in wanting to protect earth. So George finally explains his history with Dagon, and agrees to a short alliance with Ben and the Plumbers until this Dagon issue can be fixed.

While Ben is working with the Forever Knights and Plumbers trying to track down and stop Dagon’s followers, along with securing the cave with ascalon in it, Gwen hears about the Alpha Rune being tied to the story of Dagon, and remembers that after defeating Aggregor, the Alpha Rune had magically returned to Ledgerdomain without his hold. So Kevin and Gwen track down Hex and convince him to help them try and get back into Ledgerdomian, since Charmcaster had blocked the main entrance to it last time they saw her.

Tensions rise in the Forever Knights between George and Forever King Driscoll, with the latter of the two very displeased with working with Ben and the Plumbers, but George dismisses him, saying that Dagon is more important than their fight with the Plumbers.

A one point, a fight breaks out between Ben and Julie, as she was starting to feel useless due to her struggling to keep up, and Ben not being able to slow down for her, so she had tried to spy on some Esotericas she found in Bellwood, and while she got decent info on them, she got caught and Ben had to save her. They do apologise to each other in the end, but it’s clear both are struggling with their relationship, wanting the best for each other, but fearing they may not be able to give what the other wants.

Eventually, Gwen and Hex manage to open the doors to Ledgerdomain again, and enter with Kevin. They find Charmcaster, who manages to catch and weakened Addwaitya, locking him up until she can figure out what to do with him, and seems to be trying to hold Ledgerdomain together as their new queen, but is most clearly struggling. She pushes away Gwen, Kevin and Hex, but does eventually listen to them regarding the situation with Dagon, and ends up showing them the Alpha Rune, which is still very much tainted by dark magic to this day.

After informing the Plumbers and Forever Knights on her findings, Gwen decides to try and study the Alpha Rune, knowing that if Dagon does successfully escape somehow, that it would be best to see what she can find on this artifact that once belonged to him. Hex does help a little here and there, but is acting quite distant, especially after seeing his niece again, with Charmcaster noting that she thinks her uncle might have stepped away from dark magic since she left, but the two struggle to engage, even with Gwen’s encouragement.

Lots of tension is still happening between the Plumbers and Forever Knights, especially between soldiers and grunts who are pretty honest in how they feel about each other. Ben and George are doing their best to keep things calm, but it’s clear that the two are also frustrated with each other at times due to their different views.

Dagon, through the eyes of some of his followers, takes notice of this tension, and keeps an eye on it hoping he can use someone in one of these teams to trick.

Meanwhile, Charmcaster and Gwen hit their limits with the Alpha Rune pretty fast, due to its potent dark magic, something neither wants to touch, especially Gwen since Anodites can not handle the stuff. So Gwen starts to think of ideas on what to do next, and ends up thinking of one she’s not too pleased about, because she knows one guy who seems to be able to handle his dark magic pretty well...Mike Morningstar.

Kevin goes on the hunt for Mike in place of Gwen, especially since he kind of wants to blow off some steam he’s been feeling. He eventually finds Mike, who’s his normal arrogant and dickish self, clearly not eager to join anything related to Kevin, Gwen and Ben again after the last time they met, but after hearing about the power behind Ledgerdomain and the Alpha Rune, he ends up deciding to give it a go.

Mike was a little taken aback when first coming to Ledgerdomain, as the moment he stepped in his natural magical reactions kicked in and took in the surrounding magic to fill his hunger, and yet it barely put in any kind of dent to this world, like he wasn’t sucking the life out of anything for once. This already pleases him by the time he meets up with Gwen, and gets an introduction to Charmcaster, who immediately doesn’t like his behaviour when he tries his sly dark charms. But after Gwen makes it clear she will monitor him, and that Charmcaster has full power to take away the magic that sustains his body, he decides to play nice and help with the Alpha Rune, quickly showing off his skills with dark magic.

Meanwhile, Dagon, speaking through one of his followers, manages to speak with Driscoll alone, and latching onto the man’s fears about the Plumbers and aliens taking over, and how Sir George treats him like nothing. He also senses the man’s thirst for power, and tells him that if he frees him, Dagon will grant him the things he so desires. Driscoll doesn’t agree right away, but does say he’ll think about it.

During a day where Ben finally catches a break, he decides to spend it with Julie, and it actually goes pretty well, with the Plumber Kids saying they’ll cover for him. Though while it goes nice, there is a bit where Julie and Ben try talking about the future, both realising they’re not sure what will happen to them eventually, and where this relationship is going, but try to reassure each other it will be alright and spend the rest of the day having simple dumb fun.

Kevin and Gwen also catch a bit of a break, Charmcaster saying she’ll keep an eye on the Alpha Rune and Mike, while the other two decide to actually check out Ledgerdomain probably, thinking it’s beautiful and even talking to some of the locals, but also noting the ruins and how a lot of the creatures living there are animals. The two do also discuss about their relationship and their own issues together, Kevin still feeling guilty over what he’s mutations did to him a few months ago, and what he did as a kid, and Gwen admitting right now she’s a little lost, since a lot of her goals on earth while growing just...don’t seem appealing anymore now that open space and magic has become attached to her life.

While alone, Charmcaster and Mike do end up chatting a bit, at first bickering or Mike annoying her, but little moments seem to suggest that there are better parts of them they don’t want to admit too, like when Mike comments on how Charmcaster is trying so hard to rule a broken kingdom, and Charmcaster even learning that Mike gets his powers from his mother, who is from an alien race that are kind of the opposite of Anodites, in that they are beings of pure dark magic, and are one of the thing beings in the galaxy to not lose control over it, hence why Mike has never been tainted by dark magic of any kind, including his own. But there are also subtle hints Charmcaster gets out of him that his childhood was probably not happy, and his relationship with his parents must have been awful, but every time he’s about to seemingly open up or be a decent guy, he always snaps back to his awful self in some kind of defence. But deep down...the two kind of admit that having someone who gets the idea of having an awful hood is kind of comforting to sit around with, even if they don’t talk about it much.

However, things go downhill when Driscoll has enough with Ben and George, and barges into the chambers of ascalon and releases Dagon. But Dagon is obviously weak from all the years trapped in the sword, and while still reasonably hard to fight and getting bits of his power back slowly, he’s still a shadow of his former grand self. The Plumbers and Forever Knights unsuccessfully stop him as he’s saved by his followers, and the two allies start arguing after what Driscoll pulled.

While planning his next move, Dagon notes that he needs a way to restore him back to full strength as soon as possible, and a way to distract the Knights and Plumbers for sometime, and ends up staging a plan.

With Dagon out of the sword, George retrieves ascalon to wield again, however Ben worries that Dagon will know better this time, and that the sword may not be enough, despite what George may claim. Worried about this, Ben calls Azmuth and convinces him to come to earth to try and examine the sword, and maybe offer advice on what to do for the Dagon issue. Azmuth does come, and while George doesn’t let him see the sword, the two do have a hefty debate that leaves George questioning some of his views.

During a heavy argument with the Knights and Plumbers, they soon realise that Dagon can shapeshift, mocking them all, mostly George, riling him up and making George attack him. But this was unfortunately part of his plan, as with his shapeshifting powers, he manages to convince George that he was disguised as Pierce Wheels, but George ended up stabbing and killing the real Pierce, causing an all hell broke loose of a fight between the Plumbers and Knights, especially between George and Ben. By the end, Ben threatens that if the Forever Knights aren’t gone in a few days, he will personally go Way Big and toss them out of Bell Wood. Despite his anger at the time, Sir George does feel awful what he did to Pierce, especially after seeing a grieving Helen.

In the aftermath, a lot of heavy emotions are tossed around, like Helen grieving with the other Plumber kids supporting her, Kevin and Gwen worried over everything, fearing they might not be enough, Ben still boiling with frustration and anger, with Max, Azmuth and Julie each talking to him with their own takes on how to handle this, and even Charmcaster and Mike talking about how things are so bitter.

Meanwhile, the Forever Knights are discussing what to do next, knowing they can’t leave with Dagon running around, but also know that a pissed off Ben Tennyson is not something they can handle. Sir George personally tosses out Driscoll after what he did, who runs off to join Dagon, and George has a long sit down with the other Knights, seeing how far they’ve fallen from being earth’s original guardians and heroes.

After some discussing, Gwen is the one to realize that Dagon will most likely go after the Alpha Rune, knowing it’s what he’ll need to get back to full power. They race over to Ledgerdomain and get ready to guard it, Charmcaster briefly talking to the imprisoned Addwaitya, who taunts her, saying she can not save Ledgerdomain and be their Queen, as all other rulers have fallen without the Alpha Rune, pointing out that before he was the first longest running leader in a long time, and that his tyrant ruling was the only reason that the scraps of Ledgerdomain haven’t turned to dust yet. While his words do affect Charmcaster, she pretends to not care.

Eventually, Dagon and his followers breach Ledgerdomain, and start fighting the Plumbers. Dagon himself deals with the main fighters like Max, the Plumber kids, Ben, Julie, Gwen and Kevin by using his powers of shapeshifting, illusions and mind reading to mess with them all, playing into their fears before striking them. Surprisingly though, Mike is the one who puts up the best fight, due to his natural skills of dark magic, but Dagon eventually gets the upper hand with his taunts, and even making Mike hesitate when asking “Do you really want to start playing the hero now?”. And eventually, he confronts Charmcaster who has the Alpha Rune, with her threatening to use it on him. Dagon knows she’s not bluffing, and decides to trick her, saying he can bring back her father, and even shapes into him to convince her, and it’s enough to make her give him the Alpha Rune out of desperation of wanting her dad back. But of course, it was all a trick and Dagon leaves her with nothing. Though he does free and take Addwaitya as a new follower. Mike and Gwen are the first ones back on their feet, and manage to save Charmcaster and scare Dagon off out of Ledgerdomain, but are unable to retrieve the ruin.

Everyone starts to panic, knowing that soon, Dagon will be back in full power, and some are still suffering from Dagon harsh illusions that hurt them, especially Charmcaster, Helen and Ben. Seeing that they can’t do this alone, Ben finds and talks to Sir George, the two knowing they have to put things aside and save the world, perhaps even the galaxy of Dagon grows too strong. So their alliance is rebuilt. Sir George even opens up to Ben, like how tired he is from years of fighting, even missing Iris who was a good friend to him, and admitting that Ben is a good kid, and perhaps a better hero than he ever was.

Dagon, using the Alpha Rune, reawakens his ancient powers and returns to his original state of power, and begins his conquest over earth once again.

Taking their final stand, the Plumbers and Knights charge in to battle Dagon’s army, with them trying to get the core group close to Dagon, particularly Sir George with ascalon. It’s a brutal fight, with a lot of forces on both sides dying, even other Forever Knight leaders like Enoch and Patrick. 

George does get close to Dagon, and tries to fight him with ascalon, and while he almost manages to stab the sword into him and trap him once more, Dagon briefly shapes into Iris to make him hesitate briefly, giving enough of an opening for Dagon to strike and kill George. However, before he dies, he manages to toss the sword to Ben, knowing it’s up to him now.

Arming ascalon and the ultimatrix, Ben puts up one hell of a fight against Dagon, shaping between aliens to use the sword in clever ways. His friends also help him, with the Plumber kids using their random abilities to trick or distract Dagon, Kevin getting a few good hits in, Gwen and Charmcaster combining spells together, Julie and Ship, with some help from Azmuth and Max, using tech and energy blast to stun him, and Mike even gives Ben an opening when draining some magic from the Alpha Rune, though he does have to return it because even its magic is a little too much for him. With all these combined attacks, Ben strikes Dagon and traps him back in the sword.

However, as Ben holds ascalon, he suddenly hears Dagon in his head, the demon trying to make a connection to him, offering Ben the power he needs to protect everyone, so that something like Pierce’s death can never happen on his watch again. But his friends snap him out of it, and Azmuth provides a special contentment to place the sword and Dagon away in.

In the aftermath, what’s left of Dagon’s army and followers rush off, and the few Forever Knights left either decide to quiet on the spot, or wander off with scraps of their group. 

Due to the power and stress of the fight, the ultimatrix breaks and Ben loses it, however Azmuth says that he’s been working on a new omnitrix for sometime now, and after a bit of a break, he will give it to Ben. Ben also lets Azmuth take the sword, knowing it will be safe on Galvan Prime until they can figure out what to do with Dagon properly.

The Plumbers start a clean up while the teens start heading off to finally rest.

The Plumber kids, Ben, Gwen, Kevin, Julie and Max, along with others, host a funeral for Pierce.

Addwaitya and the Alpha Rune are returned to Ledgerdomain with Charmcaster, however she finds that Mike has run away, leaving her a vague message. In the end, he was too afraid to change his ways, and while Hex tries to connect and comfort his niece, she snaps at him and kicks him out of Ledgerdomain. Alone, Charmcaster festers in her own emotions, with Addwaitya pushing her again on how she will fail as a leader if she doesn’t take the risks to save it, just like how he and Dagon took those risks. She gets angry with him and turns him into a totem to store in his bag, but his words do make her think...and feeling utterly alone, tired and confused, she places on the Alpha Rune, already feeling the tainted magic leaking into her, but thinking it’s all she can do to protect her home, at least what’s left of it. 

Kevin and Gwen start to discuss things, and Gwen decides to give some normal earth things a try again, wanting to go to college early, and Kevin agrees to come, so the two start planning.

Ben and Julie meet up, and decide to talk. After what the whole Dagon situation pushed them into, they admit that maybe it’s best to break up and have space, even if they still clearly love each other. They agree to stay things but...they do start to drift a little after she goes to France to join a tournament, and Ben starts to feel alone, especially after hearing Gwen and Kevin’s plans.

Azmuth eventually gives Ben the new omnitrix, and he decides to push away some of his negative feelings to start a fresh new beginning, making his way into the omniverse series.

[themurphyzone]

PatB: Snowball Ep Talk

You know, I really do love the episode Snowball (my personal favorite AKOM episode) but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here much, and if I did it’s probably really only because of the flashback sequence. 

Okay so all looks good so far. Chain letter scheme and superstition, a standard introduction to Brain’s latest plot of world domination. All looks good. Plus I just like this shot of Pinky. Don’t mind me, just starting off light here with a smushed Pinky. 

I just like Pinky’s pose here. He’s so cute. 

You will bow before Troz.

“I met a Snowball today! Right here in the lab!” -Pinky

You know, I just find the implications of this line hysterical. This means that Snowball was in the lab that day, waiting for the moment to strike, and he definitely pushed his stolen chain letter through the mail slot. 

And then he lets Pinky see him, and no it’s not just a passing glance either cause Pinky specifically describes a tattoo with an A and a circle and points to his leg. Which means Snowball deliberately lifted the fur on his leg and showed his tattoo to Pinky. 

Like, wow. 

“It means, Pinky, that evil lurks among us. By the name of Snowball! SNOWBALLLLLLLL!” -Brain 

Talk about a bad breakup. *Alexa play Bad Blood*

Personally I think one of the interesting visual cues is that Snowball purposely plants himself into the mice’s space. There’s a lot of that in this episode. He knows how to rile up Brain and hit him where it hurts, namely through Pinky. 

Brain values his personal space, and he values a sense of control. When Snowball invades that space, Brain loses control, and his anger can lead him to make some very ill-informed decisions. Which is exactly what Snowball aims for. 

“You think Pinky is an asset?” 

“Anything I can take from you is an asset.”

Ah yes, Snowball’s mission statement. Crush everything Brain has into dust. 

The flashback sequence. Dear God this flashback sequence. They were both so cute! 

You know, it’s really sad that a younger Brain acted more like Pinky. Making silly faces and trying to get someone to laugh are such Pinky things to do. I know canon is loose but if you consider this flashback taking place shortly after Brain was captured from the wild, then young Brain didn’t gain a grasp on what happened to him until after the gene splicer.  

Ok but Brain was literally right there when the gene splicer exploded. Imagine having your cranium size dramatically increase, you’re injured, you’ve suddenly gained sentience, and as if all that wasn’t enough, you see the gene splicer explode with your only friend inside. 

Oh, and said friend’s mind was probably damaged in the explosion and now he hates your guts. And though you’re angry with him for his betrayal, some part of you will never stop caring about him. 

Once again, Snowball needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. 

This conversation here establishes Snowball as the perfect third character. He appears only in a handful of eps, but he’s fun to watch and love to hate. Snowball challenges the mice’s relationship. Snowball sees the weak points; the insults, the reliance on each other, and twists them to his advantage. And Pinky even admits he’s hurt by Brain’s insults occasionally, though he still loves being around him. 

“Pinky, the Brain doesn’t care about you. He’s just using you.” 

“No, he’s not.”

It’s really interesting to me how Pinky denies Snowball’s statement, yet his ears go down to show that he’s affected by the idea of being used. Pinky and the Brain may be night and day, but one thing they do have in common is their tendency to deny certain things. Brain with emotions and affection and Pinky with concepts he’d rather not admit the possibility of. 

Coming back to this later. 

Non plot related but Brain is teeny tiny and I love how he just trusts Pinky to catch him

Side note: I apologize if any of these screenshots look weird. It’s an AKOM ep. 

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO BAD AT SNEAKING AROUND. 

I just find it hilarious how they clearly run around where Snowball can see and hear them. Like they just shout Snowball’s name in the middle of the room. You’re terrible at being sneaky little mice. Please. 

Those dang boomers and their old timey 90s computers. Technology is ruining boomers. Can’t even hold a conversation anymore cause they keep looking at their screens. 

No touchy! 

Well, it’s awful nice of Snowball to engage in nepotism and offer Brain a position in his administration...and then tempt Pinky with an amusement park when he refuses. 

You really gotta appreciate the complexity of Snowball’s plans. Stealing the chain letter fails->plant seeds of doubt in Pinky’s mind, even if this doesn’t work right off the bat, the idea will still be there-> take over a corporation->impersonate Bill Gates->When the mice show up, offer to co-rule the world on expectations that Brain will refuse->make co-ruler offer to Pinky->wait for Brain to open his big mouth and drive Pinky away. 

All to take everything Brain has. His dignity, Pinky, his meager resources. Like holy Snowball, Batman.  

And then Snowball reveals the amusement park he had specifically built for Pinky. 

And here we have the most heartbreaking line of the ep. If I had the ability video edit I would’ve put the entire line on audio because Brain’s tone is very important here. It’s about 12:38 to 12:57 in the ep if you want to see for yourself. 

“Oh, go ahead, Pinky. I don’t need you. What did you think, I just have you around so I can steal your brilliant ideas and claim them as my own? That I’m just using you, Pinky? Oh yes, I’m using you for your brilliance!” 

First of all, very poor word choice, especially to someone who has trouble understanding sarcasm. I just want to dissect this statement here. 

The Literal Meaning: You’re an idiot to think you were ever more than an assistant. 

This is what Pinky hears. 

But if you listen to Brain’s tone rather than just reading the line, he sounds genuinely hurt that Pinky would ever be tempted by something as frivolous as an amusement park. It’s Pinky, so he just sees ‘ooh fun rides, cotton candy, and carnival games’! 

But Brain is perfectly aware that this is Snowball’s well-crafted method of taking away the only thing he truly has, and he knows it’s working. And he’s hurt. 

The Actual Meaning: Snowball’s trying to separate us and you’re falling for it, Pinky. You may be an idiot, but many of my plans never would’ve come to fruition without you. You’re much more than an assistant. You’re my friend and my world.  

Unfortunately, all Pinky hears is that Brain was only using him. That Brain values him for manual labor and an extra hand only, rather than a treasured companion. The fact that Brain often falls short of making Pinky feel appreciated just adds to this. 

And now that he no longer has Pinky, Brain’s spirit is crushed. Brain is persistent, but without Pinky, he has no reason to be. 

As far as he knows, his only two friends have turned their backs on him and couldn’t care less if he has nowhere else to go. 

Poor thing. He needs hugs. 

“I didn’t think it was possible. Humanity has actually gotten dumber.” -Brain

OK I think this one shot establishes what the world would be like under Snowball. His name is everywhere, and he tells the population to do stupid things just to bask in his own superiority. 

However, I can’t see Brain putting his name on every building so frivolously like this if he ruled the world. Sure, he’d name a bunch of things after himself and Pinky, but it would be more meaningful to them. 

Brain wants humanity to advance, not regress. 

Poor Pinky. Despite all this new extravagance and luxury, he’s also lonely. The room and bed are large, but it lacks personality. He’s sleeping with an ACME Labs snow globe, and other than a reference to Citizen Kane, it also shows that he’s not happy with this. 

The worst thing in the world for these mice is separation from each other. 

Suicide by cat. 

Poor little guy can’t make it on his own. Luckily, he snaps out of it. 

“My world. I must save MY world!” 

Said while looking at a picture of Pinky. Real subtle there Brain. 

“Look, you fool. You have no brilliant ideas. I’m only using you to get at him! So just stay quiet!” -Snowball

“You’re...using me?” -Pinky

He was just a bargaining chip. Never a friend. 

“What do you want?” 

“My friend. And MY world!”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He makes martial arts noises like a dork. I love him. 

I love how their characters are reflected in the mecha designs (also I had no idea Snowball was Iron Man!) 

Snowball’s is overall the more efficient design. It’s also much more combat ready and violent. In comparison, Brain’s suit is simply operated with a bunch of levers. It’s alright for peaceful situations like getting around faster or simply blending with a human population, but in a straight up fight the levers take too much time to operate. 

Snowball is more efficient than Brain, and while he’s got the ego, he lacks the insecurities that hold Brain back. His confidence makes him such an effective foe. And more importantly, Snowball doesn’t value Pinky’s companionship. He’s a tool and nothing more. Compare that to Brain. While Brain struggles at showing it, he ultimately wants Pinky’s input and values his jumbo-sized heart. 

Somewhat off topic, but I feel like the reboot missed this aspect of Brain and made him too overly edgy and violent (reboot!Brain would probably prefer Snowball’s mecha design over his counterpart’s). The only time Brain should become violent, if not for comedy, is when he’s protecting Pinky. His plans should have a level of restraint to them, and Pinky is the moral compass.  

I just like this shit-eating grin right here (I mean, he did eat shit in Welcome to the Jungle so...lol)

This is such an insanely clever move for Pinky. I feel like Brain would be like ‘oh my god Pinky!’ and then ‘wow, that’s actually brilliant what the heck is this tingling feeling’. 

ACME LABS IS IN NEW YORK CITY??????

I know this is a case of Where the Hell is Springfield but gdi aren’t they supposed to be in southern California. 

Ok fine I realize the ending to this ep is a reference to North by Northwest cause they somehow got to Mt. Rushmore but still 

Weird tangent but North by Northwest’s ending bothers me (not gonna fault this ep as it’s just a parody)? I’m sorry the girl is barely hanging onto Mt. Rushmore, the dude pulls her up, and then they have sex in a car. The sudden transition always seemed weird to me. 

I am ending this analysis post with a weird shot of Snowball cause i can and it’s his episode. 

[yououghtaknow]

skam brighton season 5 music analysis

hello :) i’ve gone through all the songs on previous seasons of skam brighton and explained why i used them and i thought i would do it for season 5 now that it’s over.

tw for disucssion of addiction, racism, pedophilia, transphobia and homophobia

trailer

we begin with a bang with “don’t blame me” by taylor swift. now it has been said about me that i am a swiftie and it is true. and nick braxton is a reputation era bitch. this song has quite literally it all for nick’s character - we got christian themes, reference to drug addiction and an unhealthy devotion to someone. this trailer has gone through many songs to find the perfect one, but i decided on this one because of the themes, and also because of the line “they say she’s gone too far this time” - which, in regards to nick, can be read in many ways. we got the nick going “too far” with his love for james in subtly trying to break liz and james up, nick and their drug addiction, and nick and their relationship with their gender identity - going too far in both the masculine and feminine directions. also it bangs your honour.

episode one

we!! begin!! with!! saturday night’s alright for fighting by sir elton john!!! because it is saturday night and, as we’vee seen, nick isn’t afraid to get into a fight or two. this song specifically was chosen because of the movie rocketman, which i drew a lot of inspiration from, with the themes of drug addiction and sexuality. also, once again, it simply slaps.

we then get “ymca” by the village people playing in the background over the rest of the party scene. i chose this song because it is a very stereotypically gay song, and a lot of what i wanted nick to deal with was self-perception in regards to stereotypes. he is very stereotypically flamboyant because it’s both the way he is and a defensive mechanism - leading to his bisexuality being erased and being seen as gay a lot of the time. he ‘s pretty much the opposite in regards to his asian identity, with him not being academically intelligent and outspoken and being very british in their speaking patterns. it’s about the balance and duality and all that stuff. 

then, as we are formally introduced to nick’s devotion to james, we get “where dreams go to die” by john grant. thank you to my friend katya for recommeding this song as a nick song because it is just. crazy. every line makes me want to scream. especially “this is like a well-oiled machine / could i please see that smile again? / it's all that makes me feel like i am living in this world”. like that just shows the extent of nick’s love - because sometimes you’re just in love with the idea of being saved rather than seeking help. is that poetic or am i just pretentiously talking about my trauma? who knows.

we then get “overprotected” by britney spears - because britney has been a nick staple the whole series. i first heard the song in the musical & juliet and i was immediately like “oh nick core”. the song opens with: “ i need time (time) / love (love), joy (joy) / i need space (love) / i need me (action!) / say hello to the girl that i am / you're gonna have to see through my perspective”. because we are literally seeing from nick’s perspective. i also wanted to introduce the gender dynamics early - including in the trailer, where nick refers to themself with she/her pronouns - and her nick is referred to in the text of the song as a girl. it’s also a very sad song about not having any control over your life with a fun pop backing track, which is very nick braxton.

we then get another party scene, that opens with “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” (by ariana grande) covered by sam fender. i chose this song because 1) i love the cover and 2) god is it a nick song. literally nick has so many wants (to be loved by their family, to get sober, to succeed in school, to explore their gender freely) but he focuses on wanting james and wanting james to leave liz because there are less achievable and thus safer. also the song fucking slaps.

we close with “happy little pill” by troye sivan, a mlm classic. a staple of 2014. i chose this song because 1) drug in title, easy get, and 2) it’s actually a really good song???? it’s about the dissociation. it’s very similar to the scene with bree in season 4 episode 1 where “chandelier” plays as she’s clearly not doing well but she’s pretending for the sake of her friends. nick and bree are narrative foils and i love them.

episode two

the first song of episode 2 is “be great” by lolandre and jeremy pope after we see nick and his dad’s dynamic for the first time. and it’s really something huh. it’s about how christian does want nick to be great, but christian has a very narrow idea of what success and happiness looks like.

the next bit of media we get in this episode is nick watching the first episode of euphoria. when preparing to write various seasons of skam brighton, i watched a lot of teen dramas to get a good feel for the vibe i was going for. euphoria was one of them and it’s a show i have a lot of mixed feelings for - i think it’s very well crafted and extremely interesting but i also do have issues with the sexualisation of teenagers on screen, even if it is mostly realistic. i chose this scene specifically because nick and rue are very similar characters, in regards to their relationships with their parents (i believe nick is more of a jules kinnie but more on that later). they both just want to be a good kid and make them happy, but they can never seem to do it. gia, rue’s younger sister, is also a parallel to nick’s brothers.

we then get “old eden” by honeywater which is just simply a song i like very much that had the vibes of the scene. also the lines “i want love / but i don't just want love, i want you / i see the beach house, your sweet mouth / but the terrible news / is that love is not how it seems on the screen / yeah, real love has problems / but it's what's in-between that's the best” is simply just nick braxton huh. ambiguous disorder.

we then get “generation why” by conan gray as nick storms out of their house after a fight with their parents. i chose it very simply for the vibes because i only listened to this song once and thought “i do not wish to listen to this in my free time but it is a nick braxton time”. it’s just the angsty indie pop main character walking down the street vibes.

we!!! end!!! with!!! a song i love very much - “sex drive” by austin mckenzie of dwsa fame. this song plays over nick getting “rejected” by james and resorting to grindr to feed their want for human affection - which is where the parallels to ms jules euphoria come from. i chose this song specifically because it begins with the lines “who’s driving?” on repeat, which calls into question who is in control in the scenario. as seen on screen, nick is the one who initiates the “date” but, at the end of the day, nick is an underage teenager and the person he’s on a date with is an adult man. also the song is simply a fun bisexual time.

episode three

we open with “hurricane drunk” by florence and the machine, a song that has been decidedly nick core since 2018. like “i’m in the grip of a hurricane / i’m going to blow myself away”...... nick braxton you crazy little person

“yours” by greyson chance plays over nick and james driving out to the woods to skip school together….. it is quite insane. “no matter who i'm with, it's you that i adore / if you're not sure / baby, i'm yours” like i scream and shout nick braxton has always been in love with the concept of james cohen

“myrtle ave.” by mxmtoon plays as nick is feeling isolated from his friends…. like they just vibe with the song and the lyrics so hard. nick is just. i have no words other than i love them.

we close with “st jimmy” by green day because. goddammit isn’t he. like james just comes out as bisexual (just like st jimmy in american idiot the broadway musical) and nick is like “you are like a saint to me, i worship you, i will do anything for you”. like it’s a song about drug addiction but it’s also about being bisexual but it’s also about the performance of masculinity and the performance of being a “rebel” that james and nick both do i love them so much.

episode four

we begin with “lucy in the sky with diamonds” by the beatles. i do not listen to the beatles but i think the song is about drugs and the beatles is a james cohen band in canon so it has the connotations babey.

we then get “seventeen” by troye sivan as nick goes on grindr to seek out adult men. it’s genuinely such a nick song - once again, the fun poppy music in the background and the deeply upsetting lyrics. also, as in season 4, i chose this song to emphasise the fact that nick is seventeen and a minor and should not be doing these activities.

we then get “dancing on my own” by robyn as we’re at the vaguely halloween-esque party. it’s once again about the boppy music and sad lyrics and like. nick voice i’m in the corner watching you kiss her ohhhhhh i’m right over here why can’t you see me ohhhhhhh i’m giving it my all but i’m not the guy you’re taking home ooooh i keep dancing on my own. like he’s fucking insane (he is both me and nick)

and then!!!! we get a scene very personal to me. nick watching rocky horror for the first time at a shadowcast showing and watching “the time warp”. i first saw rocky horror when i was about 10/11 because i saw it on glee and wanted to watch the real movie and it made me so so transgender and homosexual. it is such a non-binary little movie and the time warp is just an absolute bop. 

it’s followed by a brief showing of “sweet transvestite” because tim curry in that movie is such an experience for anyone involved. like oh to be gender questioning nick braxton and to see that. what a fucking experience. and also to be gender questioning 11 year old me and to see that and then find out my school is doing a kidz bop version of rocky horror. fucking insane transgender times.

we close with “cecily smith” by will connolly as milo and nick walk home together because. it is just such a sweet song. like life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with. and it is a very nickmilo song and i am the president of nickmilo nation. i love a non-binary romance i do i do i do.

episode five

we open with “halloween” by phoebe bridgers because it is literally halloween. insane. but it is also such a nick braxton song like come on man we can be anything…… nick braxton voice i’ll be whatever you want…… it’s about the people pleasing and the desire to be wanted and needed loved and goodness gracious. also nick braxton fig faeth kinnie for this song specifically.

and then!!!!! we get nick dramatically singing “girl crush” by the harry styles version in his bathroom mirror. because goddammit they do have a girl crush. it’s about the gender and the desire to both be with james and to be liz becausenick is non-binary babey……..

and then!!!!! in such a parallel!!!!! we get milo singing “inner white girl” from a strange loop on their instagram live. “a strange loop” was a big inspiration for this season, with very similar themes fo it (you should listen to it right now) and this song….. quite genuinely we have nick singing a song about wanting to be a white girl and then they hear this song….. like nick does cling to his inner white girl as a way of staying safe - they cling to the safe idea of mlm flamboyancy and humour to hide from their genuine emotions and gender……. like it is insane to me. also white girls can do anything can’t they!!!!!!!

we then get “the people who raised me” by gregory and the hawks after nick has a fight with their parents…. “but i won't mind no time spent to save me / just trying to be good to the people who raised me” literally nick is trying his best to be good but he can’t be and that makes him angry!!!!!! but that anger is born out of a deep, deep sadness that nick has no emotional language to express, but anger is a language he can speak and it is. insane. like it’s about masculinity, it’s about femininity, it’s about everything. fuck. 

we then get "search your heart" by george feeny as nick sadly vibes at school…. also this scene does parallel with the liz/mary scene in season 2 where their parents fight. like liz is shitty to her friends but stays for her sister and nick is great to his friends but leaves his brothers behind….. the range.

and then!!!! we get phoebe bridgers’ cover of “friday i’m in love” because it is friday and nick is in love huh.

and then!!!!!!!!!! a moment i have been building up to!!!!! we get “back to black” by ms amy winehouse after nick finds out james has a crush on alistair thee fletcher. and just like. god. this song has everything for nick. it’s a song about depression, addiction, leaving your lover, anger, bitterness, second choice ness….. and also he is literally going back to black with his hair colour!!!!! because he thinks being more masculine is what will make people love him and he views pink hair as un-masculine!!!!! and he’s also going back to his family, so he’s going back to trying to hide himself to fit into their expectations….. like god it is an insane little time.

episode six 

we open with “idk if i’m a boy” by blue foster - a song i got on my discover weekly and it was a deeply personal attack. like nick voice i don’t know if i’m a reject i don’t know if i’m a loser but i know that i’ve been feeling feminine since i’ve been teething…. and how the song uses humour as a way to cope with gender dysphoria like it’s nick bay bee.

we then get “green light” by lorde because god it is such a james/nick song i feel insane. like “did it frighten you / how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?” because james and nick have canonically kissed many times before….. also lorde as an artist just has such intense nick vibes it’s so much fun

we then get "fluorescent adolescent" by arctic monkeys over a party scene because i’ve been told on the internet that it is a british teen party classic. unfortunately the rowdiest party i’ve ever been to is my cousin’s christening so i do not know if it is factual, but it does slap. 

we then get vérité’s cover of somebody else by the 1975 because i just simply prefer this version. but like. oh nick braxton. oh it’s about the rori and the james and the nick being afraid of being open and committing to someone but still wanting to feel the sense of being wanted by someone and being the sole person they want….. literally it is very crazy.

and then we end with “sugar we’re going down” by fall out boy!!!!! like it it such a good song nick voice am i more than you bargained for yet!!! i’ve been dying to tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear!!!! because that’s just who i am this week!!!!! like it fits so well with his character but also it is so funny that sugar we’re going down plays as they faint at the party……. i am a comedian sometimes.

episode seven

the first song we get in this ep is “demi moore” by phoebe bridgers as nick is detoxing in the hospital. like quite genuinely “i don’t wanna be stoned anymore!!!!!!!!” they don’t want to be alone anymore!!!!!!!!!

then we get “bite the hand” by boygenius. just. like. “i can’t love you the way you want me to” is just. such a statement for nick’s season. like he can’t love james the way james wants to be loved by nick, they can’t love their parents, their parents can’t love them…… it’s all about learning how to love in a way that is felt by all parties involved in the relationship be it romantic, platonic, familial or otherwise. like. it’s so insane it’s all about love

and then we get “relay” by fiona apple - which was a contender for the trailer song at some point. like nick @ alistair is very “i resent you for being raised right etc.” because he knows liz is fucked up and has flaws, he’s seen them, but alistair is easy to project all of his hatred onto. also just like evil is a relay sport thank you ms apple.

we then get “girls just wanna have fun” by cyndi lauper and “dancing queen” and “mamma mia” by abba sung at the lgbt youth club karaoke night because. i mean of course they are. also they are very fun gender songs and i enjoy them :)

and then. my friends. the moment you’ve been waiting for. nick braxton singing alanis morrissette’s “you oughta know”. now this is gonna be a long one.

the you oughta know analysis

first things first, i got the jagged little pill broadway behind the scenes book for christmas and there’s a whole chapter about you oughta know being a song about the queer struggle of being unseen and unheard and i feel so validated like that is exactly what the song is about.

but for nick. oh baby. it is them singing to james, to rori, to al, to liz, to bree, to his parents, to his teachers, to everyone who perceives them wrong. it’s their moment of standing up and saying i am angry and i am serious about this and i deserve to be listened to as a young person. i will now give an in depth analysis of every line i want to.

“the perfect version of me” - bree and nick have had so many parallels throughout the series, which bree can be described as a “better” version of nick. they’re in therapy, she’s taking care of herself, they’re bisexual and it’s accepted by everyone, she’s a good partner to rori, she has parents who love her, and she can be gender non-conforming in a safe way. but this line also applies to al - because nick and al have also been compared this season, with al talking about how he’s comfortable with his femininity and james liking al, who, despite claiming to be more feminine, is still more traditionally masculine than nick. al, bree and liz are all very academically smart. they are all very creatively gifted. liz doesn’t struggle for money. nick, in their mind, compared to all of these people, is a failure.

“so she speaks eloquently / and she could have your baby / i'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother” - this applied to both liz and bree, who both try to be seen as very eloquent speakers, and who are both afab, so therefore can have james’s baby - something nick wouldn’t be able to do. but we have seen in liz and bree’s seasons that they both have sexual trauma, and bree especially is uncomfortable with having children. it’s nick having this idea of womanhood and femininity being something so unattainable and required for james - that it kind of segways into al. because al is also assigned female at birth and could, as he is pre-t, hypothetically have a child, which is playing into some transphobic notions, but nick sees al as both more feminine and more masculine than him - making al just perfect for james.

“and every time you speak his name / does he know why you told me / you'd be there until you died / 'til you died, but you're still alive” - nick changes to he pronouns here, now directly talking about al. we’ve seen james flirting with nick and we know they’ve kissed in the past, and james and nick are incredibly close friends. but james still, in nick’s mind at this point, chose al over him.

“it was a slap in the face / how quickly i was replaced / and are you thinking of me when she fucks you?” - the conversation about how all the skam brighton characters relate to the line between sex and love is so interesting to me. it is also the reason i do not allow my parents to read this show. but anyways - nick does feel so genuinely replaced by everyone in his life, like there’s always a newer, better version waiting just around the corner. what nick doesn’t know is that that is how everyone else around him feels as well. and the line “are you thinking of me when she fucks you” is such a pointed line because it’s not a line of confidence or a joke. nick knows that no one thinks about them like that because they feel repulsive but try to play it off as a joke.

then we get the “i” section, which is, in the script, more “ayes” and “nahs”, but i wanted to change it to be the word “i” specifically because so much of the season is nick existing for other people. for their parents, for their friends, for their clients, for james. in this moment, they are choosing themself. they are standing up and saying “what i feel is important and i fucking matter”

“'cause the joke that you laid in the bed, that was me / and i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes / and you know it” - because nick’s sexuality and nick as a romantic partner is treated as such a joke throughout the show’s run, and james has been trying to turn every time he kissed nick into a joke that will go away, but it’s not going to go away because nick remembers it. even if james tries to deny his sexuality to nick’s face, nick is always going to remember that james was, at some point, attracted to men enough to kiss him.

“and every time i scratch my nails / down someone else's back, i hope you feel it / well, can you feel it?” - every time nick has sought out sex with strangers it’s because they feel rejected and insecure in themself. they seek out this sexual validation as a way to feed their want to be loved and noticed by people and he wants james and rori to feel hurt by it - he wants to have the power, he wants to have the control.

“and i’m here” - this line is just. so powerful to me. because it’s a line of defeat - after all this time, nick’s ended up at some crappy youth group with his little brother babysitting him, and he’s been dumped and cheated on and overdosed and everything is so awful. but then it becomes a line of celebration. of “yeah, all that shit happened to me, but i’m still here, i’m still standing, and no one can take away the fact that i am here and i am alive and i deserve to be respected” - something milo taught them when they talked about their tattoo 

“to remind you of the mess you left when you went away” - nick himself is the mess they all left - because they feel so abandoned and alone and like they are just a mess to be discarded, but he’s here to remind everyone that he’s here. it’s a call for help.

“it's not fair, to deny me / of the cross i bear that you gave to me” - this line i always saw as directed at his parents - they gave him this cross of being the perfect eldest sibling that ended up crushing him, and they deny that it ever happened. but nick knows it did. the same way he knows james like guys. the same way he knows rori didn’t like only him. the same way he’s been denying himself of the cross he bears of being non-binary, the cross of being an addict, the cross of being a mentally ill neurodivergent person. this song is him finally letting go of that denial.

“you oughta know” - he’s talking to everyone with that line. everyone should know about his pain, about his emotions, about what he’s gone through, because he’s kept it so bottled up for years. it’s not fair for him not to share it because he deserve to.

they don’t call me isaac tumblr user yououghtaknowmp3 for nothing.

episode eight

we open with “seven” by taylor swift as nick reads a letter they wrote to their younger self. like. “i used to scream ferociously any time i wanted” is such a line about being neurodivergent as a child and then being forced to mask as you grow up….. also the bridge is just james and nick core…. you should come live with me and we could be pirates…..

we then get “nonbinary” by arca because i feel like at this point nick would be trying to listen to more nonbinary artists because they want to see themself reflected rather than running from it!!!!

we then get “heather” by conan gray as nick and liz accidentally meet at the local mentally ill teen zone. because i am just fucking crazy like that. and yes, i chose that song before it got big on tiktok. but i think it’s funnier because it is a famous song.

we then get “falling” by harry styles as nick is being emo in their bedroom because nick is just the type of person who will dramatically listen to harry styles in their bedroom whilst being sad. it also completes the full circle of sad taylor swift to sad harry styles, but with no vehicular manslaughter.

we then get “400 lux” by lorde after james and nick have their big conversation because like it is just a them song. like you buy me orange juice. it’s also about the james/nick having a gansey/ronan dynamic in the way that nick is devotedly in love with him and james is just being homoerotic for the jokes. but not most other ways. honestly i haven’t thought about the skam brighton versions of these characters in trc….. many thoughts head full

episode nine

we open with “pink rabbits” by the national as nick redyes their hair back to pink. and i’ll be honest. i only chose this song because it has pink in the title. but it does still vibe with nick though.

we then get “be your own 3am” by adult mom as nick is dealing with some bad cravings. it’s just a very pretty song for listening to alone at night in your bed in that weird space between sleep and awake. i love it.

we then get “i am not a robot” by marina as nick walks down the street because nick is a marina bitch!!!!!!! and “you've been acting awful tough lately / smoking a lot of cigarettes lately / but inside, you're just a little baby / it's okay to say you've got a weak spot” is such a nick @ james line it makes me insane

also rich’s entire character and backstory is directly lifted from skins gen 3 because i am niche and make content just for me

we then end with “rager teenager!” by troye sivan because i have listened to that song exactly once, decided it had nick vibes, and just stuck it in an episode somewhere.

episode ten

we open with “strange torpedo” by lucy dacus because it is just. such a nick song. it is insane. i am insane. like it is about nick wanting someone but not being sure who or what it is because he just wants to be loved and discovers that sometimes being liked is better than being loved…….

we then get “used to you” by mxmtoon and like….. “tell me what i can say / and i can say it / tell me what i can do / and i can do my best / tell me who i should be / and i can change it” is such a nick early s5 lyric…… and how the song is kind of a love song but the line “now i’m just kind of used to you” is very nick about his feelings towards james

we then get “gay street fighter” by keiynan lonsdale as milo gets their sexy slow mo that all of the love interests get at some point. they deserve it.

and then “to be alone with you” by sufjan stevens plays as milo and nick have their first kiss in the pool because i always wanted to include that scene and thought “hey here is good”. and like. they are alone with each other a lot and they like spending time with each other….. they are friends, they are teens, they are falling in love a little <3

we then get “creep” by lena hall as nick has a little gender moment at school. lena hall played yitzhak in the broadway revival of hedwig and the angry inch and she just has so much gender. creep has always been a nick song and this cover just…. it’s them. 

we then get some ambient guitar music during the nick/rori scene and i chose some songs from “your city gave me asthma” by wilbur soot because it is a fucking great album and nick is canonically a mcyt stan so i simply had to. we end with “your new boyfriend”, which is a funnier, happier wilbur soot song and it is simply a fun time.

episode eleven

we open with “gender is boring” by she/her/hers which is just an absolute banger. like “gender never really meant that much to me / til' people started telling me how it was supposed to be” is such a great line and it is very nick braxton because. like. it’s just gender babey everything is about gender except for gender which is about having fun.

“dorothea” by taylor swift plays as james and nick have their final big scene together and like. it is such a homoerotic and fun song i love it so much thank you taylor friend of the show swift. “and if you're ever tired of being known / for who you know / you know, you'll always know me” is just……. god.

we then get “i do (end credits)” by kevin abstract as we open on the final scene of the season because a) it has end credits in the title and b) it is just another song i think nick would enjoy listening to.

we then get “they/them/theirs” by worriers as we get another little party montage because it’s a vibe time and like. i do love a they/them pronoun moment. it’s a very good and fun pronoun to use.

and finally we get “prelude” from next to normal as al comes in late to the party and awkwardly stands at the back. i chose this song because. well. you’ll see :)

thank you for reading my analysis that no one asked for, i just love having fun and talking about my silly little show :)

[suchatinyinfinity]

i had no idea you've been here for 2.5 years! that's incredible! my question is: what drives you to write? is it the cathartic release? is the fun of making the characters do what you want? (ish, i know characters can have a mind of their own lol). Also, what sparked your love for Ben Barnes?

Hi, anon! Thank you for all these great questions, I appreciate them all. My answers got super wordy, so I’m going to save my followers’ dashboards.

Technically, my main account @suchatinyinfinity has been registered on tumblr for a good chunk of time, but I never actually did a thing with it until early- to mid-2018. I lurked for a few months before I ever began posting, and this side blog was made late that same year to keep up with all my writing in one place. My main blog is way too chaotic!

A lot of things drive me to write. It comes easy to me, and always has for as long as I can remember. In school, I’d write essays the night before they were due in the span of an hour (and about half of that time was because I went over the max word count). And saying it was easy doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun-- I had a ton of fun, weaving words together to paint a picture or tell a story or educate someone on whatever the topic was. I’ve been urged a number of times since 7-8 grade to look into getting published (especially regarding my poetry, which I no longer write), but just never did it. 

Now, I write for a number of reasons. Fun is still up there, but in addition to that (and specifically in the case of fan fiction) I write as a challenge to myself. I strive to get better at the craft as a whole, and also in specific areas that I see as weaknesses. I think most writers strive to be better at some point. Secondly, my main concentration in fan fiction is split between two things: painting a picture of my story in a way that anyone who reads what I write can feel like they’re there, or see a clear picture in their mind. The biggest priority of all is keeping a previously created character in character. I won’t say there are certain things I divert from, and I definitely play with different timelines, but justifying who a character is essentially is very important to me. Billy Russo isn’t going to get married and have a family; Benjamin Greene isn’t going to marry just for money, and Ryan Brenner isn’t going to give up his lifestyle to settle down and work a 9-5. Those are just examples, and there’s a lot more to it, but I strive for the realism of a fictional character. Oxymoron much? And lastly, writing can be a type of catharsis and bring me calm. It also brings with it a feeling of accomplishment-- I created something, and it felt great, and maybe it’s not my best, but I want to share it because it’s mine.

To be honest, the thing that sparked my love for Ben was a friend of mine recommending that I watch The Punisher. Since it’s Marvel, my mind naturally went to comics and superheroes, and that’s not my jive. I’ve tried to get behind it and can’t, and figured TP was the same thing. The first episode got me hooked and Billy hadn’t been introduced yet but when he was... that was it. Not only is Ben insanely attractive, but he has talent in buckets, and when I finished binge watching that show, I went through his entire filmography. Naturally curious, I looked him up on YouTube and Instagram and fell in love with his personality and demeanor, not to mention his voice! And that’s the road I went down to get here, on a Sunday in November, answering your questions. 

Thank you again for taking the time to ask these! I loved answering them.

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB Week 4 Roundup! First, the badges awarded to our participants last week. The following earned their participation badge!

HogwartsToAlexandria buying_the_space_farm Becca Eirlyssa feignedsobriquet Scriptatur Jacaranda

Congratulations to you! And now, the awesome creations we got this week! Go give these lovely peeps some love!

Title: Iron Skins and Tender Hearts Collaborator: dixiehellcat Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 - Crossover Ship: Pepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Two fathers from two different universes find they have a lot in common. Word Count: 5756 ——————————————

Title: N/A Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S5 - Gamora Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: I had a Gamora square on two different bingo boards so I decided to try making a pair of felt figures, one for each! I especially liked doing the braids on young Gamora :) Word Count: N/A

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Title: N/A Collaborator: Nasha Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K2 - Carnival Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: After defeating Thanos, which was an undeniable near death experience, that needed a proper recovery time and lots of care from his family, Tony takes his kids out to enjoy themselves and celebrate it all ended well, that he’ll be able to see Harley and Peter go to college and give him even more gray hairs alongside Morgan’s, all the things he never dared before but now he cant live without and as proven, he’ll defend with his life. This kids are the future and it looks brighter than the carnival lights surrounding them. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Name the time and the place and the function Collaborator: feyrelay Link: AO3 Square Filled: S4 - Abandonment Issues Ship: Starker Rating: Explicit Major Tags: None Summary: It’s Tony’s pride in Peter for getting into MIT that makes the decision for him and sends Peter away from the city, to Cambridge. It’s Peter’s pride, and Oscorp, that bring him back. Now if only he knew how to tell that to Mr. Stark. Word Count: 4600

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Title: Put Me In Coach, I’m Ready to Play Collaborator: ceelaina Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Remote Control Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: Sometimes being happily married means finding unique and special ways of driving each other crazy. Word Count: 5827

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Title: let the soft animal of your body love what it loves - Chapter 4: iv. Collaborator: deathsweetqueen Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Teammates Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Time Travel, Endgame Steve goes back in time to be with Post AOU Tony, Explicit Sexual Content, Dirty Talk, Past Domestic Violence, Post AOU AU, Breaking Up and Making Up, Marriage Counselling, Superfamily, Team Iron Man, but not Steve unfriendly, he’s just a moron, a lot of fighting and arguments, Dubious Consent due to Identity Issues Summary: In 2023, Steve Rogers, after burning his husband’s body, goes through the timelines to return each of the Infinity Stones. Word Count: 22,264

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Title: DUM-E’s revenge Collaborator: lbibliophile-mcu Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Adopted - Sunset Bain Ship: past Tony Stark/Sunset Bain Rating: Gen Major Tags: Dum-E hates Sunset Summary: DUM-E really doesn’t like people who hurt his TON-E. 

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Title: let the soft animal of your body love what it loves - Chapter 5: v. Author: deathsweetqueen Link: AO3 Square Filled: A1 - Shapeshifters Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: Explicit Warnings: Time Travel, Endgame Steve goes back in time to be with Post AOU Tony, Explicit Sexual Content, Dirty Talk, Past Domestic Violence, Post AOU AU, Breaking Up and Making Up, Marriage Counselling, Superfamily, Team Iron Man, but not Steve unfriendly, he’s just a moron, a lot of fighting and arguments, Dubious Consent due to Identity Issues Summary: In 2023, Steve Rogers, after burning his husband’s body, goes through the timelines to return each of the Infinity Stones. In 2015, Tony Stark’s husband returns to him and for the first time in years, he has hope for his marriage. Word Count: 22,264

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Title: You, Me, and Bambino Makes Three Author: monobuu Link: AO3 Square Filled: K2 - Doctor’s Appointment Ship: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Rating: Teen Major Tags: Genderswap, Pregnancy, Swearing, Miscommunication, Not Steve Rogers Friendly Summary: Toni has a perfectly functional booty-call/fuckbuddie relationship going on with the love of her life, it’s totally fine, nothing could possibly go wrong. Word Count: 5153 

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Title: Arboreal: Anima moodboard Collaborator: Menatiera Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T4 - Mad science Ship: WinterIron Rating: G (both fic and moodboard) Major Tags: Fluff, Magical realism, Modern!Bucky, Alternate universe, matchmaker!Dum-E, moodboard Summary: Moodboard for the fic Anima by Arboreal. Fic summary: Bucky had always been able to hear the voices of the things around him. 

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Title: The Morning (Evening?) After Collaborator: turtlesse Link: AO3 Square Filled: T2 - image of Stark Tower Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: none Summary: Bucky promised a dinner, after all… Word Count: 1932

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Title: Iron OTP Cuties Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S2 - victorious Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: fandom craft, cross stitch Summary: Cross stitch Cuties Tony and Pepper wearing their suits  

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Title: or to try Collaborator: mitochondrials Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 - Handle with Care Ship: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Tony doesn’t enjoy the reminder that Steve is perfect in every way. Most of all, he doesn’t enjoy the constant, self-induced reminder of how beautiful Steve’s wings are. Steve decides to comfort him by revealing just how imperfect Captain America really is. Word Count: 1190

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Title: Flickered Upon Ocean’s Insanity Collaborator: tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled: R4 - Soulbound Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Dubious Consent Summary: Tony is the youngest Guide ever… problem? He doesn’t want to be one.Hydra has the perfect solution. Word Count: 3023

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Title: When in Vegas Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Waking Up Married Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Tony’s birthday celebrations take a turn he never expected. He’s not complaining though. Word Count: 1414

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Title: Hello, Gorgeous Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: A1 - Tony Stark/Natasha Romanoff Ship: IronWidow Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Tony Stark, meet Natasha Romanoff. Natasha Romanoff, meet Tony Stark. This is the start of a beautiful relationship. Word Count: 2939

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Title: Change Comes to All Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: T2 - Captivity Ship: IronWidow Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Combining a secret relationship with being a spy isn’t the easiest of things but Natasha and Tony make it work. Then comes a trip to Afghanistan and everything changes. Word Count: 3007

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Title: Open Your Mind Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 - Grief Ship: Tony Stark & Vision Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: In the wake of the Ultron mess, Vision comes by to asks some questions and offer some revelations of his own. They take Tony down and entirely unexpected path. Word Count: 2542

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Title: The Value of Cats Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: A2 - Bonded Animals Ship: None Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Bonded animals had always existed but Tony didn’t get his until he was lying on the floor of a bunker in Siberia. It was a gift he was never going to be disappointed by. Word Count: 1757

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Title: From the Ashes Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - Endgame Fix-it Ship: Pepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: In the aftermath of the defeat of Thanos, Stephen wishes he’d found another way. Or Tony had found another way. But the thing is, Stephen never really looked beyond them winning or losing and sometimes the only way to win is to lose. Word Count: 1637

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Title: Presti-Stimulation Collaborator: politzania Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 - Kink: Sex Magic Ship: IronStrange Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: Stephen suggests using a bit of magic to please his lover in a very specific way; Tony is up for it (in more ways than one). Word Count: 1146

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Title: In Deeper Collaborator: RoseRose Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Kink: Begging Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Consensual Non-Consent, explicit sexual content, BDSM Summary: After the Avengers Assemble episode “In Deep”, Steve and Tony spend some time alone together. Tony found Steve as villain very, very hot, so roleplay sex happens. Word Count: 2548

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Title: Accidental Amnesia Collaborator: Sabriel_4Ever Link: AO3 Squares Filled: Chapter 1 - Never Meant to Hurt You: T3 - Never Meant to Hurt You Chapter 2: K1 - Amnesia Chapter 3: A1 - Thor Chapter 4: T5 - Dream Sharing Chapter 5: K2 - Never Again Ship: FrostIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Past Child Death Summary: When Tony Stark’s told his husband is trying to take over the world, what else is he supposed to do, except use the magic said husband had taught him to use in situations like this, to bring him back. What happens when, against all odds, instead of actually helping his husband, he winds up giving him amnesia? How can he possibly fix this? Word Count: 3178

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Title: An Educational Outing Collaborator: 27dragons Link: AO3 Square Filled: K2 - AU: Hogwarts Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: In which Professor Stark takes his Muggle Studies students on a field trip, with Professor Barnes’ help, and it does not go quite as planned. Word Count: 1435

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Title: The One where Tony… Collaborator: HogwartsToAlexandria Link: AO3 Square Filled: S5 - cuddling Ship: Stony Rating: Gen Major Tags: magic/supernatural elements, trans character Summary: ….reads minds and his fiancé can shield his own. Word Count: 582

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Title: Employee of the Year Collaborator: lbibliophile-mcu Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K1 - Obadiah Stane Ship: Pepperony Rating: Unrated Major Tags: gifset Summary: “I do anything and everything Mr Stark requires. Including, occasionally, taking out the trash.” She was expecting the scheduling, and the fetching and carrying, and even escorting out his overnight ‘guests’. She was not prepared for literally replacing her boss’ heart, hacking into their own company, or killing the CEO gone rouge. But she is Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts; whatever Tony Stark needs, she will make it happen.

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Title: sketch Collaborator: hereandnowwearealive Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T4 - art format: sketch Ship: none Rating: G Major Tags: art Summary: black and white drawing of IM1 Tony staring off into the distance 

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Title: Forging Bonds Collaborator: Huntress79 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S2 - fluff Ship: Stuckony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fluff, with a pinch of Angst, Secret Baby, Peter Parker is Tony Stark’s Biological Child, Protective Bucky, Protective Steve, Avengers as Family, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, War Veterans Bucky and Steve, background pairings Clint/Phil (aka Bowtie) and Pepper/Nat Summary: Just when Tony thought that his relationship with Steve and Bucky is safe and stable, he learns of a son he apparently has. How will “his” soldiers react to the sudden addition to the household? Word Count: 1720

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Title: DUM-E the Fire(extinguisher) Breathing Dragon! Collaborator: journeythroughtherain Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S3 - dragon Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: fandom craft Summary: DUM-E is dressed up and ready for next Halloween! 

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Title: Letters to Tony Stark Collaborator: Tonks22 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - I Love You 3000 Ship: Tony & Morgan Rating: Gen Major Tags: Tony Stark is still dead Summary: A look at Morgan’s life through letters written to her dad. Word Count: Unknown

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Title: Don’t Know What Hit Me Collaborator: tisfan Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A4 - Canon: Avengers Academy Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: “Roses are red, violets are blue, all I want for this V-Day is to do you!” Avengers Academy AU Word Count: 770

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Title: kiss me, kiss me, kiss me Collaborator: only_more_love Link: AO3 Square Filled: K5 - Writing Format: Past Tense Ship: Stony Rating: Mature Major Tags: None Summary: Tony wakes after spending his first night with Steve. Word Count: 1490

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Title: Brooklyn Nine Nine’s Finest Collaborator: dracusfyre Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Undercover in a Gay Bar Ship: WinterIron Rating: Not Rated Major Tags: Accidentally High Summary: James, Tony, and Natasha go on an undercover mission in a nightclub to catch a crime ring and Tony makes a confession while under the influence. Word Count: 3088

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Title: What We Owe to Each Other Collaborator: cadmvs Link: AO3 Square Filled: S5 - Last Chance Ship: Starker Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Tony dies and goes to the Good Place. Word Count: 3358

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Title: I Need a Superman to Sweep Me off My Feet Collaborator: ceealaina Link: AO3 Square Filled: R4 - [Image] Iron Patriot Ship: IronHusbands/Iron Bros (read it how you will) Rating: Teen Major Tags: none Summary: When Tony gets stuck up a tree, who’s he gonna call? Iron Patriot! Word Count: 1485

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Title: Stark Cousins Summer Camp Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Sharon Carter Ship: Tony & Sharon Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard, drabble Summary: Sharon blackmailed Tony into coming to summer camp with her as a counselor. She is beginning to regret it… Word Count: 100 

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Title: Local Criptids Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A3 - FREE Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: [Fanart] Mothman!Bucky x Tony (but also Mothra!Bucky x Godzilla!Tony)

[frederator-studios]

Bird Banfe: The Frederator Interview

You might be surprised, talking to people in the animation industry, at how rare it is to encounter a still-kicking passion for cartoons. Bird Banfe is, to borrow Drake’s term, a real one. A recent SCAD Grad with mad Storyboarding skills, a deep investment in Scooby Doo and a penchant for pink, Bird's enthusiasm for her craft emanates from her, an enlightened power not unlike those of the magical girls she grew up idolizing. Hearing Costume Quest’s Production Coordinator speak with conviction, knowledge and love for the shows that shaped her, and those she now helps shape, it’s abundantly clear that her passion is an unstoppable force, and when it comes to Bird’s dreams, my sense is that it’s never been a question of ‘whether’—simply one of ‘when’.

How did you break into the animation industry?

I got the chance to intern at Nickelodeon during my last year at SCAD, on Spongebob. Totally by accident!

Cool! How does one “accidentally” become a Nicktern?

The Dean of our school was PO’d because Nick representatives were visiting campus, but it was finals and nobody knew, so people weren’t showing up. My friend who worked in the animation building called me up and was like, “Hey, there are Nick people here doing general interviews. Come do one!”

So you bailed on whatever you were doing and went?

Yeah! I had like 30 minutes to throw on an outfit, a little makeup. I thought it went awful. Which is how you can expect an interview to go, with no preparation and barely any clue what it’s for. I didn’t hear anything for a couple months, so I figured, eh, good learning experience. Then on the last day of school, I got a call at like 9pm from an unknown number, and didn’t pick up. They left a voicemail - and it was my interviewer! She said she had something to tell me. I was like, “What?! It’s been two months! This could still be a thing?!”

And on the last day of school!

The last day of school - period. I was driving home to New Jersey the next day. No job lined up, flipping out. We got in touch, I waited a bit more, then I got a call from the Spongebob team. From a Skype interview with them, I got the job.

What were your responsibilities on Spongebob?

The same as a PA. Handling files for artists, organizing things, picking up tasks to help the production along. On Spongebob specifically, I did a lot of archiving backgrounds. The show has these beautiful, physical painted backgrounds. Handling those was probably the coolest part of the job. It got really weird sometimes. It’d be like, “Here is the interior of Patrick’s mouth and it’s really gross.” And I’d have to search around to label it, because they go into Patrick’s mouth in like 3 different episodes.

Wow, so you became the in-house expert on Patrick Star mouth shots.

It was a lot of fun! I learned a lot about how animation works. In art school, they don't teach you anything about production. I didn't know what to expect, or really what was expected of me! I'm good at organizing, I know Photoshop, and I work really hard. Those things carried me through the internship.

Backing way up - when did you know you wanted to work in animation?

A lot later than most people would say. I wasn’t drawing on the walls when I was two. I was drawing! But about as much as any kid would. I wanted to be a Veterinarian for most of my life. In sophomore year of high school though, I realized I have a lot of story ideas, and original characters - all the stuff that kids who really like anime would have. And I knew I’d go insane if I didn’t have a creative job. That decided it for me. Not, “I really want to do this!” more, “I can’t imagine a world where I’m satisfied with a different career”.

So as a junior and senior, you geared yourself toward animation?

Yeah - my Uncle was working in visual effects, mainly for superhero movies, so I knew someone ‘who does that’. I knew it was an option, not an intangible dream. I was in art classes throughout high school, because they were fun. But then I started going to an art studio after school to take animation, painting, and life drawing classes - the last of which was a big shock to me.

Oh, wow - you did all the right things!

When you know people who do it, they’ll tell you! “Go take your life drawing classes—there are no other kids in high school drawing naked people, you’ve gotta do it”. I got advice from a lot of people and followed it the best I could. I applied to a bunch of art schools for animation, though none in California. Not even CalArts - wasn’t even a blip on the radar (off my surprise) It was too far for my family! We picked Savannah, and I’m really glad. I had a great time at SCAD.

What did you like best about animation at SCAD?

It was a good fit for my personality. I was very much the go-getter in college - you know, a try-hard. And the school has a ton of great resources if you want to put in the work. SCAD is set up in a way where if you take advantage of everything that’s there, and are willing to work, you'll prosper.

Going into animation, did you have a focus in mind? 

I knew from my animation classes in high school on that I wanted to storyboard. I figured that out quickly, mostly because my teacher steered me toward it. He was like, “You’re good at this. You need to keep doing it.” I was like “Okay, will do.” (laughs) I think every role in animation is interesting, and I’m not too picky. I’m sorta glad somebody made that decision for me!

Are you now looking for avenues into storyboarding from production?

Definitely, but I’ve loved my time in production. I can’t see myself doing it forever, but, remember I said I was a big go-getter in college? I pushed myself really hard. I don’t want to say I burned out, but... I wanted time for myself. To learn how to be an adult, do things like cook for myself. Working in production has given me time to breathe and figure out what I value in the industry. 

For example - I was accustomed to that air of, “Oh, you want to be on a show with clout, a show that people know”. I realized on Spongebob how little that really means. Tell anybody in the industry you’re on Spongebob and they’ll go, “That’s cool” and maybe mention their friend on the show. It wasn’t ‘celebrity status’, you know? Maybe to my Grandma, but not to people here. I’ve come to see it’s much more important to find a team that really works with you, and Costume Quest was that team for me.

Did being part of a great team help you shelve the art anxieties?

Oh yeah. When I first started in production, part of me was like, “You need to get into art, now. You need to be doing this, this, and THIS you should have done yesterday!” Tons of pressure. But on Costume Quest, I realized, “These are really great people. I like being around them, I like coming to work every day. I don't want to leave.” So I decided I'd do everything I could with this show and this team. And that’s been very fulfilling. Not in a way that I expected—but in a way where I’ve learned about what I need in a workplace.

What’s your Big Goal in animation, if you have one now?

I always feel embarrassed saying this, because I'm just starting out. But I have lofty goals of being a Creator. I just want to make something that’s important to young girls growing up. Thinking about the things that were important to me as a little girl, I want to foster that.

What kinds of Things?

Magical girl shows (laughs). Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew Mew, Cardcaptor Sakura. The very ridiculous, very pink, frilly stories, where the message is usually “Love is the most powerful thing in the universe”. But I think those stories are really important! Empathy is important to teach people, and cartoons do that, today more so than ever. Plus, kindness is actually what kids want: when we tested our show, we got feedback that the kids didn’t like it when our characters were mean. When I was growing up, there weren’t as many US shows that talked about interpersonal dynamics, or hit on the empathy theme: “people are different from you, that’s why they behave differently.” That’s probably why anime was so fundamental to me then. Spongebob wasn’t talking about things that felt important to me at that age, but Naruto was. I’ve always been attracted to stories about people learning what it means to grow up and make the world a better place, and where the characters are fun to watch doing that. Costume Quest definitely is that, to me. I just really like all the characters.

Who are your favorite of the characters? Which ones do you identify with?

I definitely identify with Wren the most—which is not something I should admit to. Very much the stubborn, rough-and-tumble personality. I look at her and go, “Yup, that’s me as a kid.” My favorite character is Rudy, which is really weird. It’s that crazy YouTube-popstar personality - the one associated with “YouTube celebrity” which I just find hilarious. And I love Reynold. I like the dynamic between him and Wren the best.

Do you have a favorite episode of Costume Quest?

My favorites are always the Reynold ones, because they have so much heart. You really feel for the kid. He goes through a lot, and he cares a lot; there’s just no way you can’t. I’ll say “Scout’s Honor”. Of all the episodes we’ve done, that’s probably the one that puts a smile on my face the most. The board artists and writers packed a lot of funny stuff in there, and I love singing along with it.

What have you liked best about working on Costume Quest?

The people, first of all. And it’s just a good show. I live for those moments where I can watch something then go to my friend later and be like, “Remember that part?” and crack up about it. Costume Quest is a lot of that for me.

Anything you’d like future fans of the show to know?

Keep an eye out for a little clown doll. We got a haunted doll last summer, off eBay. His name is Little Richie and he moves around the office. It's so funny. It was actually Julian (interviewed here!) who decided to start hiding him in some of the backgrounds. So he’s now a fun little Easter egg - or a continuity error,  depending on the sense of humor of whoever you ask. It’s been so fun having him crop up all over the office. In the freezer, behind a plant. Suspended from the ceiling.

What are your favorite cartoons?

I love love love loved Scooby Doo as a kid. I still do. I love those ridiculous straight-to-video WWE crossovers. They are my guilty pleasure in every sense of the word. So bonkers. There’s John Cena standing next to Daphne. It's great. I was Scooby for Halloween for 5 years. I was obsessed, but not for any reason that I can parse today as an adult. I think I just like dogs. I really liked Chowder. That show, especially that style, stood out to me when I was deciding to pursue animation. Same with Flapjack, a similar vein of style and humor. And with both, it’s these lead characters who are just sweet kids, nothing but nice. Courage the Cowardly Dog I loved, even though I was the most easily scared kid in the world. You might think, “Oh, Scooby-Doo, Courage the Cowardly Dog, you must like scary things.” Not at all. I was deeply afraid. I just loved dogs that much. PowerPuff Girls was huge for me. These days, I have to keep up with every episode drop of Steven Universe or risk getting it spoiled. Star Versus and OK KO! are great too, and Ducktales I really enjoy putting on.

What are you working on now? Do you feel pretty motivated to go do your personal work after the work-day? 

My portfolio. And it’s hard. It’s really hard. It took time, but I’ve come to terms with that. You can’t burn yourself out. You have to put body first and figure out the balance you need in life, in order to be happy. I’m also the type that works a lot better in an office setting. So I’m prone to coming into the office at a weird time, if I actually want to get something done. At home, I never get anything done. Unless it’s Sunday. Sunday is my work day. Saturday’s my sleep day.

Bird is now Production Coordinator on Final Space. Follow her on Twitter. Costume Quest will premiere in 2019 on Amazon Prime Video - keep an eye out!

Thank you for the interview Bird! And for helping make Costume Quest the extraordinary show that it is <3

- Cooper ❀

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: The Best Action Anime Series For Fans of The Fast and the Furious

  Hello everyone, and welcome back to Why It Works. Have you all seen the trailer for the new Fast & Furious movie? As expected, the franchise is continuing its efforts to perpetually one-up its prior incarnations and introduce levels of car-adjacent insanity previously unknown to mankind. The Fast and the Furious began as a relatively straightforward racing franchise, but as the years and entries have built up, it’s moved from races to heists, flying cars, and what I’m pretty sure I’d describe as vehicle-based martial arts, all while insisting it’s ultimately about Family. You could easily describe modern Fast & Furious movies as superhero movies, but I think they feel even more like anime — and in light of that, today I’d like to offer some anime recommendations for all you Fast & Furious fans!

    First off, if we’re sticking to anime that’s specifically about racing — and in particular combines that racing with the larger-than-life theatrics you expect from The Fast and the Furious — then your best selections are likely in the movie sphere. If you haven’t seen Redline, it’s an absurdly entertaining and beautifully animated production, where a group of interstellar speedsters conduct a race on “Roboworld,” a militant planet that attempts to destroy them all along the way. For a more vintage production, Riding Bean offers a concise jolt of racing adrenaline as the titular Bean Bandit is chased by cops, criminals, and whatever else the animators can throw at him.

  But to be honest, I feel like The Fast and the Furious is more a state of mind than anything specifically to do with driving. It is a magical place where dreams can soar as high as cars and the logic of the universe must make way for the logic of cool stuff happening. In light of that, I think perhaps the most useful The Fast and the Furious recommendation would be Girls und Panzer, a production by the ever-entertaining Tsutoshu Mizushima (SHIROBAKO, Prison School, Witch Craft Works). It may seem like a strange pick, but Girls und Panzer embodies both the perpetual one-upmanship and the strong ensemble focus of The Fast and the Furious, presenting action sequences that proceed with the jubilant energy of a great heist film. Watching tanks trade blows as they screech down the curves of a rollercoaster is probably the closest you’ll get to The Fast and the Furious outside the franchise itself.

    The way I see it, The Fast and the Furious is propelled by two irreducible elements: its emphatic, earnest focus on found family bonds, and its exuberant commitment to topping itself every time. As it turns out, anime is positively brimming with shows like that, with none more committed to lunacy than the magnificent Symphogear. Symphogear’s first season features a villain who’s determined to blow up the moon and the show only gets more over-the-top from there as powers are stacked on top of powers, missiles are ridden like surfboards, and ancient artifacts summon unkillable monsters. If your goal is action at its most excessive, Symphogear is a pure embodiment of excess, with a charming cast to boot.

  Of course, The Fast and the Furious is also partly driven by the raw machismo of its leading men, which isn’t exactly Symphogear’s specialty — aside from its one-of-a-kind sensei, who survives on a diet of action movies and jerky. So if you’re looking for the one-upmanship and the charming cast bonds in a somewhat manlier package, you couldn’t do much better than Gurren Lagann. Director Hiroyuki Imaishi is essentially the modern successor to Go Nagai's hot-blooded action throne, and in Gurren Lagann, he essentially frames machismo itself as the most powerful force in the universe. If you're looking for a pure celebration of guys being dudes, Gurren Lagann is absolutely happy to provide.

    Lastly, I am delighted to recommend one of anime’s most long-lasting institutions, as I’ve recently learned it embodies all the classic tenets of the great Fast and Furydom. I’ve spent the last month and a half or so powering through hundreds of episodes of One Piece, all of which has convinced me that One Piece is an undeniably Fast & Furious-style masterpiece. It’s all there — the preposterous tone, the charming familial bonds, the perpetual one-upmanship … heck, One Piece even finds time for The Fast and the Furious’ heist influences, frequently breaking the team into small groups to pull off One Big Job. From the pure exhilaration of its visual setpieces to the warm trust shared by its crew, One Piece consistently offers thrills to match that of a car using a safe as a kind of car-nunchuck attack.

  The Fast and the Furious feels so close to anime already that it’s not too tough finding shows that embody its spirit. I hope some of my choices can entertain you in the lead-up to the next film, and please let me know what other shows you’d recommend in the comments!

      Nick Creamer has been writing about cartoons for too many years now and is always ready to cry about Madoka. You can find more of his work at his blog Wrong Every Time, or follow him on Twitter.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Nick Creamer

[thesubtextmachine]

When @persongoingfast talks about supporting non-snippy fanfic and you write  a low-quality angst piece about friends growing apart (except not really??) reblog if you can relate. Also here it is:

…

Harriet Driscoll snaps the photo on her disposable camera, knowing that the flash and noise would make Buffy's head snap up from her work.

The picture was glorious, nonetheless. It was Buffy, clad in stained jeans and an oversized sweatshirt and propped up by her elbows on the fuzzy carpeted floor of the living room, surrounded by stark white application papers and the occasional pop of a colorful post-it note as she organized and wrote notes and was generally brilliant.

The logo of "Montgomery Preparatory School" was emblazoned on almost every paper, and Harriet couldn't help but marvel at what her small eighth grader daughter was capable of. Harriet knew that her daughter was trying to keep this application casual, but if she knew anything about her daughter, she knew that Buffy was launching her entire essence into every handwritten line of her essay.

Harriet was the artsy parent of the family, hence the disposable camera (an aesthetic choice) and status as the only person in the family who understood why Buffy didn't want to tell her best friends about this application. She knew that Buffy wanted this application, whether or not it led to her going to Montgomery for her high school years, to be her journey and her journey alone, without the help or otherwise of her friends. She also knew that Buffy, even if Buffy didn't know this herself, was afraid of what wasn't being accomplished on her part because of her friends (Harriet didn't want to use the phrase "dragging Buffy down", because Buffy would've gotten angry at her for even thinking that).

Harriet knew that whether or not Buffy got in, Buffy was seeking options to get out. As Harriet snapped the photo, her mind passively wished that Buffy would stay like this forever: following her destiny without the knowledge of what she'd be leaving behind.

… Buffy's fingers are nervous, shaking as she takes the badly-lit picture on her phone and sends it to the group chat.

It's an acceptance letter that she hasn't read all of the way, but she recognizes the buzzwords: "accept", "scholarship", "invite", "congratulations".

She promised herself, directly after she left the room where she did her interview, that she would have to pretend that, of she got in, she would tell them in person. She would pass the letter around over a bowl of baby taters and smile like she wasn't about to abandon the best friends she ever had for the opportunities that this fancy prep school would give her.

She decides instead, whilst holding the letter delicately, that a group chat would be better. At least in a group chat, the Do Not Disturb button is an option.

Buffy waits for what seems like forever but really lasts as long as the Law and Order episode that she watches to distract herself to check her phone, and she finds that the responses to her text in the group chat go (in order) from confusion to reluctant joy to worry about her lack of an answer. Buffy writes that she left her phone alone and would definitely be going to the school. She promises to keep in touch with the gang, sincerity evident in every letter. She sighs with relief and begins to text excitedly. The night wears on, questions are asked and answered, and slowly each one of them goes to bed. Buffy is the last one awake, having been blessed with a lenient bedtime and boundless energy.

She retakes the photo, so it's less blurry and better lit and posts it on her Instagram account, taking pleasure in every like and congratulatory comment. Buffy signed her share of the paperwork that confirmed her spot in the freshman class, and placed the rest on the counter, adorned with a neon pink post-it asking her parents to sign their share.

She goes to bed smiling, and almost wants to take a picture of this moment, even though she doesn't know what there is to take a picture of or how to convey her feelings with a photo. She tries to formulate how, and she goes to sleep with her mind swimming in color combinations and photo compositions that would somehow let the world feel what she feels.

… Eight grade graduation is a bittersweet affair, and it's best captured from Cyrus' mom's phone.

The picture's of the Good Hair Crew, with their wrists joined to display matching friendship bracelets. Andi's arm was crowded with bracelets, and their group bracelet had to be picked out from the bunch. Buffy's was well worn and faded, and Cyrus' looked practically new. They all had visibly misty eyes, and Andi's eye makeup (applied by Bex) pooled under her eyes. Buffy's eye makeup, on the other hand, was streaked horizontally, like she was busy swiping it away. They all clung tightly to each other, but they somehow managed to have smiles on their faces. The biggest and most genuine one belonged to Buffy.

This photo was shared and printed and framed by the entire Good Hark Crew, despite the inherent sorrow of it.

… The photo, taken once again with Harriet's disposable camera, is of Buffy. It's a classic "first day" picture, with her adorned in the burgundy and plaid uniform of Montgomery. Buffy shines in nervous anticipation, and she nervously runs her thumb across the handle of her lunchbox. When Harriet and Derreck Driscoll shuffle her into position in front of their car, Buffy rolls her eyes as if she's too cool and her noticeably uncool parents are being uncool. Nonetheless, a photo is taken and the pair gleefully drive Buffy to school, asking her questions that she doesn't know the answer to yet ("how do you feel?""will you need more for lunch?""are you nervous?")

When Harriet and Derreck get home after dropping Buffy off, they simultaneously let out a long sigh. Quietly, some tea is made and they sit down at the coffee table. The weight of the change hangs on them.

"I wish I could look at the picture you took," Derreck says, simply.

"Me too. I don't know what she's feeling."

"It's probably pretty close to what we're feeling. Y'know, scared but excited. Happy but sad. Whatever it feels like to miss something but also wish that it never happened in the first place."

"Do you think she'll be okay?"

"Of course, Harriet. She wouldn't be Buffy if she doesn't take this and turn it into something amazing," Derreck says, taking a worried sip of his tea.

"I think she may be handling this better than we are."

"I don't doubt that for a second."

… Buffy's first friend is named Leslie, and they become friends quickly and loudly. The first picture of Buffy shows up on Leslie's social media (Snapchat, to be specific) when they're working on their homework together outside. Buffy is hard at work, furiously scribbling away at her math problem, but Leslie has reached peak annoyance with her homework. She pulls out her phone, and takes a picture of Buffy. In the background of the photo is Buffy's phone, vibrating and glowing with notifications from her middle school friends.

Leslie's heard about the mythical former friends, Andi and Cyrus. Andi, who crafted and Cyrus who psychoanalyzed. Buffy always spoke about them like they were occurrences in a past life, but from the way Buffy's phone buzzed, some people weren't on the same page. She wasn't entirely sure if Buffy was on the same page either.

Buffy was getting there, apparently, as seconds after the picture was taken, Buffy reached over to her phone, put it on do not disturb, and placed it face-down on the bench. Leslie captioned the picture "Shade Queen", because Buffy did indeed look shady.

Leslie, her distraction quenched, got back to her work, silently wondering. Buffy's friends were a true enigma, as they were never elaborated on except for the off story or clipped sentence-long answer.

Buffy herself was a bit of an enigma. Buffy answered as many questions in class as she could, but didn't talk much outside of the classroom. She was into track and theater, and apparently had involved parents. This was basically what Leslie knew about her, and the rest was a bit of a mystery.

Nonetheless, an epic friendship was brewing, and Leslie knew that it would take a few epic events (a party or a failed test or cheating scandal or a thunderstorm that would cause them to bond) for them to become actual friends.

… Buffy cuts her hair and it really messes with Andi.

It was there, posted on her Instagram account at 3:30 on a Saturday afternoon, filtered with blue and red tones of both her surroundings. Her surroundings being a party? Andi couldn't figure it out, but she was red and blue and different and that was terrifying.

The chop wasn't totally insane: Buffy didn't shave her hair off or dye it some neon color. It was cut from her mid back to be resting a little bit off the shoulders, nothing big but still absolutely terrifying to Andi.

Buffy, a member of the Good Hair Crew, cut her hair without even sending a quick warning text to her best friends. Andi and Cyrus were left to find out like everyone else did. They, in terms of haircut-notification importance, held the same place as Buffy's other middle school acquaintances (read: the ones that didn't matter).

Andi types out a complimentary comment, posts it, and decides to read some of the others.

Middle school acquaintance, mom who knew beforehand, middle school acquaintance, friend from summer camp, and Leslie?

Leslie clearly didn't fit into the categories that comprised of Buffy's other friends. This Leslie had a private school uniform in her profile picture and what was obviously an inside joke in her comment. Andi's face burns with a sense that something had gone awry in her sacred friend group, and that it was something that was spinning out of her control.

Andi decides that texting Buffy would be good. A simple "hey, saw your hair, it looks cool. What else is up" would be enough to catch up on what was apparently a rift in communication. Andi waits anxiously for a reply that doesn't come until the next afternoon, because Buffy was "busy".

… Cyrus' mom, after he makes the team, goes to his first baseball game, and afterwards she gets all of his baseball friends to huddle for a photo.

Cyrus' team is a ragtag group of people, and the photo is odd but glorious: Cyrus in the center, caught by the photo in the middle of talking to Todd, a short teammate with wild, red, curly hair. Peter has his lanky mid-growth spurt arms around both of them, and he smiles awkwardly into the camera. Crowded in on the sides are Jasper and Harry, two twins who's energetic movements are blurred by the camera.

Neither Buffy or Andi went to the game, but it doesn't phase Cyrus in the way that his mom expects it to.

Cyrus is too preoccupied by his new group of friends to really notice the absence of his best friends in middle school. When he checks his phone on the ride home, he sees that Andi sent him apologetic texts about how "something came up". There are no messages from Buffy, but that doesn't shock him as much as he wishes it did.

He texts Andi, telling her that it's all okay. He doesn't text Buffy, because he knows that that's what Andi would do, and he knows that Andi is trying to grasp at something that's slipping away and Cyrus doesn't want to be like that. If Buffy wants out, Cyrus isn't going to stop her.

… Buffy, Leslie, and their new friend Janice are over for an "academic sleepover", as Buffy calls it, and Harriet takes another candid of them on the floor with their work sprawled around them.

Harriet loves this picture.

Buffy has a grin the size if the moon, and Janice is talking excitedly as she points to the binder in front of her as proof. Leslie watches, a lazy, content smile on her face. The fire of an argument is lit in Buffy's eyes, but this time, it's less angry than it used to be in middle school. Back then, Buffy argued people that simply didn't care as much as her, and Harriet remembered how it would make her burn with anger. Now, she watches as Buffy debates whether viruses are living or not with a smile on her face, as she suddenly finds herself with a worthy sparring partner.

Harriet found that she couldn't imagine her daughter being this happy with her friends from middle school. Sure, Buffy loved them. But Harriet had the nagging feeling that Buffy didn't always like them.

… The three members of the Good Hair Crew take a selfie, crowded around a booth that seemed much smaller that it used to, all sipping on their milkshakes that tasted the slightest bit off.

Andi called the meeting, hoping against hope that having the gang back together like they used to be would remind Cyrus and Buffy that they were still friends. After the photo was taken, Andi fights back tears as she realizes that this just doesn't work anymore. They've all changed in the slightest bit, and the puzzle just didn't fit like it should.

Cyrus and Buffy kept looking at each other in that sad, "how are we going to tell her" way, like they were parents desperately grasping for the explanation of the non-existence of Santa Claus that wouldn't make Andi cry.

"So, Buffy, how's Montgomery?" Cyrus asked awkwardly, like he's humoring somebody. As his eyes flickered to Andi, Andi realizes that it was her. They were doing this for her.

"Um, pretty good. There's this Intro to Engineering course that we all have to take, and it's fun, but I'm having a tough time with this one project. We have to write this insane document explaining our device. It's a lot."

"Wow, Buffy struggling with an assignment? I never thought I'd see the day," Andi joked.

"Maybe it's because they are actually challenging," Buffy said, her words laced with the slightest hint of venom.

"Oh, okay, sorry, it's just-" Andi scrambled for an apology.

"No, sorry, it's just- I'm on edge. It's due soon and it's such a massive project that I'm worried about it. I didn't mean to sound rude."

The silence settled on the table, swirling around.

"I should go," Andi stated, gathering her stuff.

"Me too, I've got to meet up with Todd to work on something," Cyrus says, standing up. Buffy follows wordlessly, and they all leave the cafe.

Andi never posts the picture, but she looks at it, sometimes. She looks for answers, mostly. She doesn't find them. Instead, she texts her acquaintances in her art class, and slowly makes friends over craftiness and the beauty of recycling. It's never perfect, or at least as perfect as the Good Hair Crew, but it works.

… Buffy posts a picture, and it's benign, but Cyrus stares at it, his fingers ready to type out a comment. It's a picture of Buffy's laptop screen, where this niche Youtuber that he watches is emblazoned on the screen. The caption is simple, something about how she's the only one who watches it with way to many sad emojis.

Finally, Cyrus takes that jump.

He types out an all-caps "YOU WATCH HIM TOO??? I THOUGHT I WAS A L O N E". He's anxious for a response, as this is a bit risky.

He hasn't talked to Buffy since the Cafe Distaster of Winter, and this is Early Spring. After a long period of silence, especially between former best friends, is this okay?

Apparently it is, as Buffy DMs him and they start talking.

The conversation flows, the way that it hasn't in a while. They talk about the Youtuber, then a show that they both watch, and miraculously, their lives. Cyrus complains about baseball (he loves it, despite complaints) and Buffy complains about her school (she obviously adores it, which is obvious through the complaints). They seamlessly arrange a meetup at their old cafe. It's so easy that it surprises Cyrus. Could they have been doing this the whole time? Cyrus can't figure out the answer, but he's excited to find out.

… Andi finds out that they met up without her through social media, because they would never have told her to her face.

They're in the background of a picture taken by one of her acquaintances from Student Council (Andi has a solid gig of making the posters for Student Council events), and Andi stares at it forever, the questions spilling into in her head until she feels like she's going to overflow.

She cries a little bit, takes a minute or two to scream into her pillow out of frustration that the only person who really wanted to stay friends with them wasn't invited to hang out with them.

She ends up texting Cyrus with a screenshot of the photo, with a question mark. She sees the ellipses spring up, fall down, spring up again, and then fall. She waits. Then, a simple "sorry, it's hard to explain".

"Please just explain, because I don't understand."

"it's been months and Buffy posted something and we started talking about it, and then we hang out"

"Why wasn't I invited? I thought we were a trio?"

"because it's just too hard"

"What???"

"we can't handle spending time with you! you make us sad!! we love you, but spending time with you is so stressful, at least as a group. we are so sorry."

Andi doesn't respond. She just puts her phone on do not disturb and gives herself time to let go of something that's been gone for a while.

… When the first full year of high school at Montgomery Prep is over for Buffy, Harriet takes Buffy out to dinner. Buffy is allowed to invite friends, and the group of people at the circular table of Geraldine's (the restaurant in town that's nice, but not too nice) comes with a few surprises, but nothing insane.

Cyrus is there (if feeling a bit out of place amidst the heady philosophical debates characteristic of Buffy and her friends), Leslie and Janice (who've become, in Harriet's eyes, a singular unit), and Cyrus' friend, Todd (apparently, Todd and Buffy were fast friends, and participated in their own heady philosophical debates).

Harriet pulls a gift bag out of her purse, and hands it to Buffy, who acts much more shocked than she actually is. It's a framed photo of Buffy, the one Harriet took during her applications. Buffy gets emotional, and Harriet giggles as an entire tables-worth of high school almost-sophomores try to either stretch to reach her or actually get out of their seats to give her a hug. The sight is simultaneously heartwarming and hilarious, and Harriet finds herself emotional at the power of her own daughter. The power of her daughter to find the best opportunities for herself and find herself her own family.

"Change is tough," Harriet wrote on the back of the photo, the message hidden by the frame, "Make the best out of it".