#EPISODE 100: PLASTIC MAN

[damianwaynerocks]

dick grayson has a podcast but it’s him as nightwing & the whole thing is just him interviewing other heroes

[mallleus]

I like how outta the two of them, to everyone’s surprise, Stan is better suited to look after kids than ford. (Just outta of the two of them)

Now here come y’all in the comments “ but OP Stan is-“ Ford is feral. That man spent 30 years in different dimensions, he is masking right now, he is 100% batshit insane.

The worst Stan would do is shoplift and con someone. Ford stays strapped 24/7, that man is WAITING FOR ANYTHING VAGUELY RESEMBLING AN ISOSCELES TRIANGLE TO TRY HIM.

He gave Mabel a weapon and expected her to be normal about it! HE TOOK DIPPER TO AN ALIEN SPACECRAFT NOT KNOWING IF ALL ALIENS WERE 100% DEAD OR NOT!!! Literally has a mind-controlling device on standby.

STAN WAS RIGHT FOR TELLING HIM TO STAY AWAY FROM THE KIDS BECAUSE HE ACTIVELY PUT THEM IN HARMS WAY (unintentionally but still!!!!)

edit cuz everyone keeps saying it:

Ford wanted Dipper as his apprentice and let's not forget he even admitted to carrying an outlawed infinity dice in a cheap plastic case and then LEFT IT IN WITH REGULAR DICE IN THE D&D&D EPISODE. He and Dipper wouldn't have had to have been saved had he just not had it on his person/kept it contained properly in the first place. He is an actual danger to children

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 24 thoughts

here we are. the s3 finale. i am so excited!!! and after such a fantastic last episode, my expectations are high. also, having now seen 3 season finales, i have the sneaking suspicion that this one will also be a cliffhanger, which will get on my nerves a bit i’m sure as i get all my s3 stuff around before beginning s4, but again i extend my retroactive sympathies to the people who had to wait like a year to actually see what happened next back when it was airing. 

(author's note: since this one involved a lot of shape shifting, writing a play-by-play description of what was going on was quite tricky. just know i did my best and hopefully that is what matters <3)

this episode description makes it sounds like i’m gonna cry from some mulder family angst. i am preparing myself mentally. 

we shall begin.

we open at a food court sort of situation, which makes me once again mourn the fact that i missed the golden age of malls, as i would have devoured that. oh, it actually seems to just be a restaurant. well, my own wishful thinking, i suppose.

this man is very upset and making others uncomfortable with his loud yelling slash crying. so he pulls out a gun which makes people even more uncomfortable. he says the kids can leave but everyone else has to stay which seems like it will make things much worse for those kids?? but i digress.

a second man emerges from the back, asking the fellow with the gun to please not shoot. this second man is in a suit and tie, and has a very calming presence. to me, he shall be calming man. calming man talks him out of shooting, and i’m thinking yes!! what a save!!!

... until the gunman sees the police arrive, and then he DOES start shooting into the crowed. this is so sad to see happening. shooter has a bullet wound to the chest from the snipers outside sent to stop him, but calming man says he is not going to die, and heals him by placing his hand on him????

WOAH….. calming man….. you have powers…… get him in a hospital STAT, we need him to lay hands on a LOT of people... like a priest with a 100% success rate

mulder and scully are rolling up to the scene. scully is baffled because there is no one that needs medical attention, despite hearing that a bunch of people got shot!!

so she talks to one of the guys that was shot, and he only has a little hole in his shirt, which she simply lifts up and looks under. and i was laughing because she was in Doctor Mode but it is lowkey weird as hell to just lift some dude’s shirt up and analyze his tummy LMAO. oh she is so endearing to me. this man explains that even though he was shot, calming man touched him and said everything would be okay, and it was! that's suspicious. that's weird.

mulder is peeking his head into the car where the shooter is being held (typical mulder activities, peeking his head into places and whatnot) then he gets right in there with him. the shooter’s name is mr. muntz, and mulder wants to know what happened. mulder has some messy hair going on, but he is speaking very calmly and professionally... that oxford psych degree is showing!

mr. muntz says god spared his life, assuming that calming man must have been sent by god OR is god himself. which i suppose is a logical conclusion to draw.

somehow, calming man just DISAPPEARED from the scene. which is not what you want a guy to do in such a situation!!! unless, perhaps, he has fled to do some more miracle working, in which case i hope he teleports far and wide.

cutscene to rhode island. this lady is approaching a house, which is filled with plastic covering all of the furniture.

(author's note: i literally had no idea that "this lady" was mrs. mulder. and honestly given how much attention i pay to all the details- from the exact episode mulder mentioned jimi hendrix that one time to knowing scully did her residency in forensic medicine- i have no excuse for this. it is deeply humbling to realize the limits of my memory, which so often i think is close to fool-proof. i apologize to mrs. mulder but i, for some reason, thought she had brown hair. please accept my heartfelt apology, mrs. mulder. i have only seen you briefly before, which is a reason, but not an excuse for such a careless mistake)

she walks in, and sees a door is open to the outside. so she (author's note: mrs. mulder) follows along, and who does she see but CANCER MAN??? he remarks that everything changes but the sea. well the sea is constantly changing so take that, cancer man.

this woman (MRS. MULDER, god i'm cringing at my past self) wants to know what exactly he wants from her, and he says “we used to have so much to say to each other” ???? “SO MANY GOOD TIMES AT THE MULDERS’ SUMMER PLACE” HUH???

he makes a jab about how bill wasn’t as good at water skiing as he was, but that could be said about so many thing, couldn’t it? and WHERE DOES THIS DUDE GET OFF? 

(this is funny because cancer man lowkey sucks at his job and i won't let him forget that. like at the big UN council meeting everyone was pissed at him for losing the tape and trying to kill skinner and being generally just Fucking Bad at his work, so for him to say all this is quite comical)

the woman says she has repressed it all and i don’t blame her because i would also want to repress any moments with this man, but he says he came her to make her remember something. they’re fighting as a camera takes pictures. WHO IS TAKING PICTURES OF THIS?

okay, back to the virginia crime scene with our agents. calming man has given his name as “jeremiah smith”, but left a fake P.O. box and has no driver’s license. suspicious!!!!

mulder gets a call from skinner- one that “might cause him some alarm”. it’s his mother!!! she has been admitted to the hospital in rhode island, in serious condition!!! skinner stumbles on the pronunciation of the town she's in, but clearly it means something to mulder, because he knows where she is!! he says he is on his way

next thing we see is him bursting in into the room, with scully waiting behind him. something so lovely about scully coming along to be with him at such a terrible moment.

OMG IT’S HIS MOM….. why did i forget what his mom looked like?? am i actually the worst at this?? (<- the moment i Realized)

he grabs her hand and puts his hand on her forehead (i’m going to cry) and scully comes in and explains that she had a stroke. he notices that she is cold and puts another blanket over her (oh my gosh... such an attentive and caring son) and scully tries to reassure him not to think the worst, that people recover from these situations all of the time. i paused to write this down and he has this big sad eyes and i’m gonna CRY. he’s touching her hair and whispering “mom” and AUGHHHH. his only remaining family member...

apparently a 911 call came in… i guess that it was probably cancer man who called. and who probably did this somehow.

OH! she opens her eyes! he smiles at her and tells her everything is going to be okay. ohhh, sweet man...

scully realizes mrs. mulder wants something to write on, and busts out a pen and paper because she is always prepared!!!! and i love that about her!!!

so mrs. mulder writes on the paper “PALM”, which he looks at and repeats, but it’s not clear if he gets what that means or not. here i am thinking that it means some sort of treasure will be hidden beneath a palm tree

he’s watching her being taken away to another hospital as scully looks at some paperwork to figure out what exactly happened to her. and she uses her doctoral skills to tell him that they are optimistic on her recovery. it’s so sweet 😭😭😭 she does everything she can to ease his worries. i love her!!!!!!

but mulder thinks there is a correlation between what went down at the shooting in virginia and here- because she wrote the word “palm”, which is what calming man used to heal the victims of the gunman. and that seems like a stretch to me and to scully, but a grieving mind works in intricate ways, and we already know that mulder has the most intricate of minds, so maybe he's onto something.

he senses that it’s a bit of a leap, and she tries to very gently explain that it might not mean anything, that her brain has been radically changed. she says she is gonna drive him to the nearest motel (😭😭😭) and he says no, we’re going to DC and finding out who this calming man "jeremiah smith" is. omg buddy let her book you a motel and get some rest... but no, for he has entered his bloodhound mode, and there is no stopping him in such a situation

so now it’s 8:25 am the next day, and they are watching some tapes from the news footage while she sits on his desk. and sure enough, they find the guy on the newsreel- calming man jeremiah smith- and they even see that he vanished! it seems like someone else took his place, wearing the same clothes??? now how would that work….

mulder decides he must leave, and where to? “if i told you, you’d never let me go” <- okay well at least he’s sort of honest? scully reminds him he hasn’t slept in 24 hours, but he goes on anyway, telling her to give him a call if she finds anything on the tapes. a sigh from scully as she wonders what the hell he is up to.

now we’re at the social security administration, which is frankly pretty dystopian- so very aggressively white, with spaced out desks, giving extreme retro futurism in that special 90's kind of way. but here is the calming man at a desk, as tons of people in suits and with microphones come in! calming man jeremiah smith walks out the back door and is snagged… under the watchful eye of CANCER MAN??????

seriously, what does this dude even DO beyond be mysterious and nosy?!!!

so they put calming man jeremiah smith in a full body restraint and bring him into some sort of jail cell???? i just KNOW he was not read his rights, too...

mulder, meanwhile, has driven all the way BACK to rhode island, to the house covered in plastic. it is very quiet and dark. he makes his way outside, where we see someone watching him. it’s X!!!!!

X opens the door and tells mulder that cancer man was HERE WITH HER. IT WAS ON HIS ORDERS THE PHOTOS OF THEM FIGHTING WERE TAKEN!!! or maybe it was him hiding in the bushes snapping the pics?? that option is funnier to imagine, so i shall.

X is shocked that mulder didn’t know his mother and cancer man knew each other, but he very seriously says that he has no idea. and X clarifies that he didn’t hurt her, she collapsed AFTER he left- it was X that made the phone call to 911!

ah, that makes more sense than cancer man doing the calling, as i had suspected. although, clearly cancer man WANTS something from her, so maybe he would want to save her life. but then i had assumed he was the one who somehow made her have a stroke- but if he wanted something from her, nearly killing her would make that hard, right? unless he just comes close enough in killing her to scare her... hmm, i'm theorizing, and it feels like some sort of sick chess game.

OH! it seems cancer man wants something in this house. and mulder is surprised because on the day his parents divorced, she promised to never set foot here again. in the "SUMMER HOUSE"- yes, that was the wording he used. bro... how much money were they paying his dad to mess with aliens for them to live in martha’s vineyard AND have a summer house? 😭😭 that was blood money they were paying him fr and it must have been a hell of a paycheck. i have student loans, maybe i should get into the alien secrets business.

so whatever is here has to be important. but mulder tells X he has no idea what it is. xXseems to be hiding something, but maybe that is just his face.

back at the FBI, scully is heading out- or possibly heading back into work? as she does this, “jeremiah smith” arrives! she is very taken aback but jumps into work immediately. he says he is here to turn himself in, because it was claimed he fled a crime scene.

SO WAS THAT NOT HIM IN THE FULL BODY RESTRAINT?? or are we dealing with teleportation here? i mean we have healing already, teleportation isn’t much of a jump i suppose. 

(i was so damn confused lol)

now we are with calming man jeremiah smith in skinner’s office, where he claims that everything seemed like a dream from the moment he told the man to put his gun down forward. he claims he doesn’t remember anything, not even giving a false address. he only remembers showing up for work the next day. so... was his body like possessed or something?

he’s like “what did i do wrong :(“ and scully says he didn’t do anything wrong!!!!! skinner says that he can go, but to let them know if he leaves town. she shrugs her shoulders at skinner, not knowing what happened. scully is so kind...

back to rhode island, where mulder has a flashlight. the house is covered with children’s artwork and whimsical chickens. he’s looking through all of the stuff for anything of interest. it’s a fascinating walk through of how they must have lived, with her sewing kits tucked in drawers and toys in boxes. something about seeing their childhood makes my heart want to melt. poor kids, they had no idea what was to come...

he’s getting angry at not finding anything of use, tossing things around, before sitting on the now non-plastic covered couch, when he pulls her note out- and realizes that “palm” is an anagram for “lamp”! is this a clue??? must we inspect the lamps??? of which there are many???

yes, we must. he’s throwing this first one into the wall like link when he sees a pot that might have a rupee in it. but it doesn’t seem to have anything useful in the first one, so it becomes a lamp tossing session. and in the second one, he finds a metal tube thing!!! 

when he presses the side of the metal tube thing, a giant needle emerges!! is this one of those needles they used in s2 to vanquish the nearly indestructible aliens?? are there more in any other lamps??

now cancer man is back in the jail cell with the dude he took hostage that i thought was calming man jeremiah smith. well, whoever it is, he has jeremiah smith’s face. cancer man very dramatically sits in front of him and lights up. jeremiah says he isn’t ashamed of his actions, but cancer man says he isn’t “allowed to put your indulgences ahead of the greater purpose”. OH! so this must be a real life alien. that takes people’s shapes? i suppose?

YES! like that hit man did in the s2 arc that wound up with mulder nearly dead after the battle of that strange submarine!! whose blood induced the virus that led him to be soaked in an ice bath! i’m recalling!!

so, calming man jeremiah smith says he no longer believes in the "greater purpose", to which cancer man replies “then your fate is just”.

now hold on. what are you going to do to this man? there might be some intergalactic diplomatic repercussions for acting unwisely here, bucko.

they’re having a poetry off as they talk about duty and the terror of jeremiah smith giving the people hope. cancer man says men can never be free because they are “weak, corrupt, worthless, and restless”, some of my favorite adjectives . so he sees himself as this authority figure adjacent to god in this world in which man no longer believes.

well he's wrong on many accounts for 1. he is not god, just a guy who lowkey sucks at his alien job, and 2. scully is very much a believer of god and science, so take your stupid dichotomies and ego and smoke on THAT, cancer man

oh, but the tables are turning. “how many must die at your hand to preserve your stake in the project?” ooooh read him, calming man jeremiah smith!!! get him for me and again for missy.

cancer man seems deeply unsettled and tries to get out because calming man jeremiah smith is no longer calming man… HE HAS A NEW FACE?? IS THAT DEEP THROAT! he seems deeply scared… was cancer man scared of deep throat??? what was their power dynamic?!? oh, the things we will likely never know...

i have missed seeing deep throat around. but cancer man basically says that this alien’s execution date is coming. damn. they kill you for saving others. we really live in a society...

back to mulder, who is barging into skinner’s office. he tells his secretary to hold his calls, and it is appearing evident that he has not slept in a long time. he walks right into a meeting between skinner and scully, and says he wants his name and everything about "him"! which "him", you ask? you know the one!

“i want the smoking man smoked out; i want him exposed to be the murdering son of a bitch that he is” he says, and YAAAAS i have been wanting to say these lines for 3 seasons now!!!

skinner is not pleased with this, and reveals that he doesn’t even KNOW his name, nor how he can find it, and they are yelllling. mulder says to scully that cancer man is trying to kill calming man jeremiah smith, but she says that he had JUST been there, and he works for the social security administration, which sets mulder off on another quest. in which she joins!!

(skinner says something really interesting here- that there might have been a time when he could have been able to find out cancer man's identity, but that time has since passed. very interesting, i'd love to know what that means...)

off to the faraway and magical land of the social security administration, where mulder apprehends jeremiah smith. he looks to scully asking what is going on, and she also has no answers. 

so they get to the FBI and he starts to bolt!!! he falls down and comes up… with a new face?!! and then he disappears into the crowd!!! 

SO WHAT IS GOING ON??? are there TWO ALIENS?? are they TELEPORTING?? are they shapeshifting?? HUH??

cancer man goes back to the individual i shall now refer to as the “jail cell alien” because he no longer bears the face of calming man. damn, this is really confusing to write out, and very much tied to visual media as a storytelling vessel. i hope that you are familiar with what i’m talking about so you have any idea what i’m even saying, because i realize it sounds deeply incomprehensible.

alien asks why cancer man is so afraid of him, and claims that he knows everything about him. OH! “you think you’re god- you’re a drone, a cataloguer, chattel”, says cancer man, to which he is met with the reply “what you’re afraid of is they’ll believe i am god”

HEY WHAT! so what exactly is this dude’s job description?? like, either of them.

they’re talking about god and belief and fear and rule- “they don’t believe in Him, but they still fear Him” <- ooooh banger line on part of the cancer man.

(it seems that there is probably some very intentional real-world commentary on the illusion of freedom under democracy, the nature of the surveillance state, and how people are satiated under capitalism with all this talk to appeasement and there not being a god, but i’m not trying to crack that right now. i’m trying to figure out what this alien dude does beyond heal people and be cryptic. he says that humans have love, which makes them “better than us- better than you” SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? can he feel no love?)

they’re referring to some sort of process, and how cancer man wants to be involved when it begins, which i’m guessing is referring to some sort of alien-human joint conquest or hybridization or something?

GASP! alien changes his face again and proclaims that cancer man is… DYING OF LUNG CANCER!

fork spotted in kitchen. however, cancer man is sincerely gagged and doesn’t believe it. the absolute buffoonery going on…

now the alien from before that had escaped from the clutches of our agents has shape shifter again?? into the hit man we saw in s2! with the special alien killing needle!

so my memory is foggy… these aliens that the hit men are hunting are dissenters from the overall alien regime, right? they’re not different species of alien entirely? 

but then what/who are the little grey ones…. are we witnessing intergalactic warfare here…?

(i gotta be so honest, i come here for the lingering tension between mulder and scully, so i’m a little fuzzy on how the actual alien stuff works)

anyway, the cronies of cancer man are bringing the hit man and his lethal needle into the cell where they’re holding the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, but… he isn’t in there!!!!! where did he go!!?!

so we have two aliens, both shapeshifters, taking the same face at times, one trying to kill the other. also cancer man is here and mulder’s mom is in the hospital, and for some reason she had one of those needles in her house. okay, i’ve got it.

back to the hospital- his mom isn’t getting better, and he is struggling to hear that, pulling a chair next to her while his eyes fill with tears. he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek. poor mulder :( losing all of his family :( it’s so sad honestly to see him cry :(

he leaves the room, attempts to compose himself, and sees cancer man in the hall!!!! uh oh! so mulder GRABS him, throws him against the wall, and pulls out his gun, saying “you gonna smoke that, or you want to smoke on this?” <- WHEW!!!!!!! he was not playing around before but now he is a NEW level of locked in… but careful… if you kill him, what he knows goes with him….

he even offers to give him brain damage but not kill him, so he can suffer like his mother does (DAMN!), which prompts the reveal that cancer man has known his mother since before he was born. he thinks about this and decides that he does NOT give a fuck.

he claims that SHE contacted HIM, (which isn’t what happened because we SAW what happened at the start of the episode?? he wanted her to remember something??) and also that he has possible information on his sister’s location. how many people are going to use this line on our guy...?

mulder puts the gun down as a nurse walks in, pivoting to asking where his sister is- but the man who might have that information has disappeared, according to cancer man. so he must be referring to the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith.

mulder keeps saying that he has what he wants, presumably referring to the lethal needles, but cancer man denies wanting anything except to see how his mother is doing. he furiously puts his gun away. 

back to scully cam!!! it’s late at night, but she is still at work, and she has her glasses on because she’s on the computer <3 she seems… puzzled. for the social security administration has records on SIX different jeremiah smiths, all from different locations, but with the SAME FACE!!! this is weird enough to prompt a call to mulder, who has no service, but is very angry in an empty parking lot. 

X emerges into the parking lot- he is always emerging from places- and asks if he has “it”. he demands mulder give it to him, but he refuses. 

mulder (correctly) points out that it is a weapon used to pierce the back of an alien's neck, which is the only way we can kill “them”. and X says it’s value will soar when the truth is revealed, so i’m wondering if we can get a rough time frame on when that will be so i can get my things in order before then. X says they will kill him for it, even if it risks making him a martyr and his research coming to light. oh, they must want it really bad... maybe it's a special kind of needle you just can't get on earth.

mulder says to X, so you’re talking about colonization, and you have a date, don’t you? but he refuses to give the weapon over. prompting a battle! they seem pretty evenly matched, and they both pull their guns out. 

“if you shoot me, you’ll never find it” “i ought to shoot you anyway, after everything i’ve given you” says X, and WELL! X, you didn’t really do all that distribution of clues to mulder out of the goodness of your heart, did you… you’re leading him on a little quest on cancer man’s order’s, aren’t you???? I THINK YOU ARE!! but i don’t KNOW, because why then would he SNITCH on cancer man with those photos??!!!!

(not super clear on why exactly mulder wants to keep this thing other than keeping it out of the hands of evil, but maybe that is enough of a reason for him)

so they both have guns pointed at each other, and they’re limping away, and X announces that mulder is a dead man one way or the other. ????!!!!! i do not want him to be a dead man...

scully comes home to her place at 1 am… but someone is at the door. someone claiming to be jeremiah smith!!!! chat... do we believe it? and how did he even find where she lives...

he asks to be let in… and she is gonna let him in…? with only 3 minutes left in the episode….?! seems a risky move!

he says he has information on her partner and his sister. and scully says, well why didn’t you bring that up before!!! a very valid question! but get this- it's because he’s never SPOKEN to her before- that other man was an imposter, sent there to kill him!!!

OOOOH okay. so now the dual shape shifting aliens thing makes sense. one sent to hunt the other for breaking the rules... got it.

her phone is ringing as this goes down. it’s mulder, saying that “they” are looking for jeremiah smith, and to meet up off the I-95. so it’s very dark and creepy as they go to the rendez vous point.

mulder makes scully get behind him, getting between her and the alien formerly known as jeremiah smith (🩷) as he pulls out the alien killing needle. and this guy claims to be the OG calming man that healed those people, but that’s not really enough evidence for a guy like mulder. despite mulder's suspicious, the alien keeps saying he can explain everything. but first, mulder orders that he must come to see his mother.

OMG! so he wants to use the alien's powers to heal his mother! do you think it could work? i mean, a stroke and a bullet are different kinds of hurt... but maybe he could pull it off?

OH NO!!! who rolls up to this dark and creepy scene, but the hit man!!! a loud crescendo of music is playing and we get a TO BE CONTINUED

DAMN YOU, CHRIS CARTER!

i mean, i knew a cliffhanger ending was coming, but STILL.

okay, so what am i thinking about this episode… i am thinking that i don’t really know what is going on or where the loyalties lie. but it seems that alien colonization is eminent? and where does X fall on all of this? i assume he wanted the needle killer tool so HE could kill the REAL alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, like cancer man wanted, for rebelling against their alien treaty and healing someone. but if that is what he wanted it for, and he is aligned with cancer man, why did he go behind his back to do the snooping on him with mulder’s mom?? was he trying to get mulder as an ally to do cancer man’s bidding through sneaky tricks??? or was he going to keep the needle out of cancer man's hands, and felt he could do it better than mulder could, so that by asking him to give up the needle, he would be saving mulder's life and risking his own? does he actually give a damn about mulder? also, how many different kinds of aliens are there??? and are they all lying about samantha?

so huh. umm. that was a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

as interesting as this episode was plot-wise, and as much as i love angst, and how it pains me to see mulder mourn the potential loss of his mother, something in this episode just didn’t quite compel me. and then i realized: not enough scully. a criminal mistake, imo. takes what could be an amazing episode into an inherently mediocre one. 

but, what we did see of her was her kindness, using her doctorly knowledge to try and lift mulder’s spirits, risking a lot of danger to try and get the answers for him, even if it means getting involved with alien bullshit. maybe she thinks it’ll bring her answers about her sister and her own abduction… yes, that has to be it. still, a grave sin to omit her. it just feels fundamentally Off.

so, that was the end of s3! well, as i have done twice before now, i’ll make my season wrap up posts before i get onto s4- even if it does end with a cliffhanger that is honestly SO rude. i’ll have to go over all my notes again to find the best moments and compile them, which is always a task (even if it is a major treat). and i have a feeling there will be a LOT of favorite moments this time around. plus i'll update the masterpost.

thank you to everyone who read this far, and reads this blog at all. i can't believe i am on season 4! it really makes my day to see people's reactions to the episode, learn fun facts, and experience the community in this fandom that i am otherwise denied by my persistence in avoiding spoilers. please feel free to go back and interact with old posts, too- it makes me so happy when i get notifications from that.

until next time, you agents in a dangerous back alley with some skirmishing aliens!

[moth-eats-paper]

My complete thoughts on TMA through 93-200

MAG Thoughts on ep 93-200

THERE'S A CAT

John's hand still hurts from the cult of the flame

There's also a missing calliope. I think thats how you spell it

The institute is a death trap.

Both John and Elias are vessels of “The Eye” and can make people spill their guts Gertrude was also one up until Elias killeClayr. So that's fun

GORGEY MIGHT KNOW/BE A PART OF ANOTHR GOD?!?!?!

LAST WORDS OF A CORPSE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN GORGEY?

Gorgeys not ok

Nor is Marten

I quite like the new girl shes funny

Is anyone in mag alive lol

Well idk John why does Elias do anything.

IT'S THE THING GIRL DOLL PLASTIC THING OMG

(I have no idea what i was trying to type here^)

Tim and Marten are not okay especially marten

Spooky doll thing changed her mind apparently

And Michael (the spooky one) use,d to be an assistant of Gertrude funnnn

Ep 100 time baby :3) No one in the institute knows how to interviewnoople except John and I'm pretty sure that's because of “the eye”

The spself-cannibalismThe spiders are weird

Why is this woman so calm about a ghost woman who's on fire burning her (poor marten he's very confused)

Tim is speaking to a maniac

Melanie (I think it's her) is speaking to a man who keeps getting side tracked

THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU GOT OUT OF THE SPIRAL AND WENT TO DINNER

The poor detective

SPOOKY MAN NAMED PETER JUST APPEARED FROM NO WERE AND I THINK HE'S FROM THE UNKNOWN?!??

SPOOKY DOLL WOMEN!

THE COFFINS BACK

“Sarah wanted to use nails but I talked her out of it because I'm a good friend!” YOUR A MANNEQUIN (I love that line so much lol)

Oh wax love that

Mmm skin

Don't skin John please

ARE YOU GOING TO MOISTURIZED JOHN AND THEN SKIN HIM?

MICHAEL HOLY SHIT HE'S BACK

oh he's going to kill John

Revenge?

Oh

Oh dear he doesn't want to be Michael

MICHAEL BECAME THE DELUSION

Oh he's making a statement

MICHAEL SHELY

Oh god Gertrude

Unrelated but my cat has decided to try and kill me

PETER LUCAS IS ALSO THERE

Oh god Michael Shelley is very dumb

Only just know getting scared? What the fuck

Doors. fun

I can't even spell whatever that is

THE SPIRAL

Of course she didn't care

Just don't trust Gertrud

The Worker of clay?

His laugh is silly

Oh oh dear

Oh dear the doors not working

OH JESUS

HELEN

MICHAEL BECAME HELEN

HELENS GOING TO HELP?

HELENS THE DISTORTION NOW

So I guess the distortion only wants what that person wanted

Why does Elias just agree with the person who's trying to kill him

I think this man has bugs in his skin

He does

John can suddenly read French and then can't

I LOVE MARTIN

Melanie keeps trying to kill people

(People being Elias)

Pig episode (like actual pigs not the police)

Oh the pig no no like you sir

Oh god I guess this pig is a weird thing

THE CIRCUS?

Oh god not more circuses

Oh dear I think the pig has decided to eat clowns now

Oh self cannibalism

Whelp the pig ate someone

Loud sound

The eyes doing it's thing

JOHN DOING THE THING WITH THE EYE

Tim keeps scaring people

Tims not ok

OMG TIM STATEMENT

Tims brother went missing

I don't think it's Tim's brother

Whelp he's gone

Oh clowns know

OH DEAR CLOWNS

I don't think that's your brother Tim

Oh blood

Oh dead clown

Oh no more skin .

Oh famous clown

Tim and Elias drama

Oh we're in China

Oh creepy opening

I wonder. Is this in Chinese? I know that the eye can allow you to read other languages in order to obtain more knowledge. Even if you never spoke that language or were able to read it you just suddenly are able to.

Oh screams

Nevermind I'm pretty sure it's in English cause it seems the person writing it is a British soldier

Does he have the black plague?

OH DEAD BODYS IN THE WATER

Oh-

This is a sad man

“True and total war”

GOD DAMMIT NO CIRCUS

HE CAN READ MANDARIN AND AND CHINESE NOW (cause of the eye)

IT WAS FROM 2004 NOT 2014

Oh the proper one's are in America

Space station time

I wonder if this is the same space station as the one Gertrude read

I think she kept talking about it in one of the statements well more specifically the guy who it is from

We love Melanie (even though she keeps trying to kill Elias but she has a good reason)

FAIRCHILD IS BACK

IT IS THE SAME SPACESHIP BUT JUST A DIFFERENT GUY

Because the one Gertrude read was the isolation guy. This is about the other two people who were on the ship

Oh god the space weird space hands are back I think

Oh blood

Oh he's bleeding

Oh god he's just going to let himself die

Old screaming things

Don't envy the isolation guy he had a really shit time

Whelp now he's in limbo space

OH SOMETHING'S BLOCKING THE STARS

Oh deep thoughts

Melanie is thinking deep

She's skeptical of stuff

Oh dear

IS HE STUCK IN SPACE

Viscera I think is how to pronounce her name?

MARTIN HAS A CRUSH ON JOHN?

Viscera and Melanie are gossiping and I'm here for it

Oh performance review

OH GOD ELIAS

JESUS CHRIST ELIAS STOP LEAVE POOR MELIAINE ALONE

WHAT DID HE DIE OF

WHY DID YOU GIVE HER THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIM DYING

THAT'S TERRIFYING

He can just make her watch her dad's death!

I want texas toast I'm going to go make some

JOHNS IN AMERICA

Whelp he's being followed by a police officer

And Jared's “death”

GERTRUD WAS ARRESTED FOR BREAKING INTO A MORGUE

He just has to read statements to make him feel better

A screaming oven lovely

OH THERE'S A FIRE

OH A TRAINS ON FIRE

What do you mean you'd burn them?

John is better!

OH SHIT IT'S THE POLICE

WHAT IS THAT ACCENT

OH MY GOD ITS THE VAMPIRE HUNTER

YIPPEE MARTIN

I fucking hate Shakespeare

Lovely more masks

Poor Tim

And Melanie

AWW

OH SHIT

SOMETHINGS HAPPENING

PETER LUCAS IS BACK

Lucas seams so silly

Viscera gets really excited about her reading and I love that about her

Mmm more statements

I'm pretty sure John just asked for a statement because he was starting to feel sick lol

MORE VAMPIRES (I think) YIPPEE

His accent is kinda hard to understand

BODYS IN BOX

Spoopy people

Love how she calls the vampire hunter old man

Oh bodys on table

Silent screamers

OH WATER

Staby stab

Oh she killed him

OH SPOOKY THING

HAHAH DOLL THING (why is his voice kinda-)

More Marten :3

This girl sounds like an asshole

THIS PERSONS TRANS TDZSDHUGDZ

That is a long ass name

“Spiders are eating” PFF

Oh don't walk into people's jaws

Mmm Japanese spider movies

YOU HAD TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOURSELF HE ONLY HAD TWO ARMS

Oh spoopy

Oh they found A Way to distract Elias

A leitner?

JARED

Jared is cool

Jared's mom was an ass

Hmmm more things to kill and torture everyone

I keep forgetting meat is in this

Jared is so sad

MURDER

YIPPEE VISCERA

We're back in America and they found a bomb and the taxidermy or what's left of it

John and Tim drama

YIPPEE TIM A JOHN ARE OK

Oh tunnels

Bomb time

The meats back

LITENER

No more arm

And now he's in the water

PFFF

HELEN

Aww

YIPPEE SPOOPY

Meeting timeee

Gurtrud tape time

Wolfgang?

Puppets?

I think this is from a older time in europe because of the writing and how it is worded

DON'T GO

Mmm more robotic things

OH GOD A STAGE

Mmm birbs

BLOOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CURL YOUR LEGS INTO A FIST

Funsies

Oh he's being protective of martennnnn

PLANS

SECRET PLANSSS

JOHN STATEMENT HDHJDGKDVJHK

Awww john

ITS LIGHTENERS

Melines to relatable

MELANIE STATEMENT

MARTIN NFSUSSTUDIY

TIMM

Aww goodbye Jarey

mmm masquerade

MARTIN!!

“sorry Elias I can't hear you there's a DOOR in the way” I love marten

Hehehe bomb

Oh god marten don't die

OH GOD THAT'S NOT WAX WORK

MARTIN NO

ELIAS FUCK YOU

Uh oh

SILLY MUSIC

WHAT'S HAPPENING

Mmm nothing is everything and everything is something

God what is happening

EYE THINGGGG

TIMMM

TIM SET OFF THE BOOM

Oh

What the fuck is this

He's not responseuve

Oh eye always watching

ELIAS STATEMENT?

(I'm listening to this for a second time)

Hehehe sad man

Oh

Oh dear

THE ELBOWS DON'T WORK

The sky?

Oh

OH

Ma ma that's not edible

I don't want the box to sing

NOT THE COFFIN

Oh tunnel

Hmmm blood

TRAIN TIME

Hmmm watching

WHERE'D SHE GO

Oh dig

DOOR

Ants?

Oh

He screams

Who are we watching?

MARTIN

What

ARE TIM AND DAISY DEAD?

Bye Eliasss

PFFFF

OH

Lucassss

YIPPEE PETER

NO TIM AND DAISY ARE DEAD

Season 4 babyyy

Oh

Poor marten

This is so sad

Oh

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MORE GOODBYE

First actual episode of season 4 :3

Oh?

WHO IS THIS

WHAT

WHERE

YOU SAW JOHN IN A DREAM?

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

Oh statement

He sees how people die funnn

“What am I?” I ask that often

Oh

OH

Ship into the middle of nowhereeeee

MEMENTO THING

Snakes?

Oh

Nevermind it's death

Why ya calm

Oh

Did you accidentally kill a bunch of people

Nope

YOU GOT A GUN?

YOU KILLED THE CAPTAIN!????

oh

OH GOD YOU KILLED EVERYONE

This is this Oliver guy

SPIDERS

Oh

That's funnn

Oh boy

Melanie (I think it's her)might have scared him off

Oh

OH

JOHNS AWAKE?

Zombieeee

I keep sending the homophobic vase because I can

oh no it was gorge

AND VISCERA

Magic tape?

JOHN!

HIII JOHN

oh

6 MONTHS

He's very confused and I can see why

Hehehe eye thing

Statement timeeee

YOU CUT SOMEBODY'S HANDS?

I think this dudes on something

Maybe

Idk any more everything is odd

YOUR BEING FOLLOWED MX STATEMENT PERSON

Oh

This person's a little silly

Awww I love John

Even though he keeps making have deep thoughts

THEY CAN'T FIND DAISY'S BODY?

Oh oh god marten are you okay buddy

Oh

Aww

He miss his boyfriend (I'm desperately waiting for them to get together)

W E B yippee

Oh god meline she's very traumatized

Oh

Oh that hurt

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED BY THINGS

(Not at the moment)

I think everyone's losing it

HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF THE ARCHIVIST NOT “Johnathan Sims head archivist” JUST THE FUCKING ARCHIVEST

EVERYONE IS EITHER DEAD, PART OF SOMETHING, FUCKING LOOSING IT OR ALL THREE.

Real honestly

It's always weird MX statement person

Oh

Is the site sentient

OH DEAD

Is this a thing of the eye?

No it was the web

Oh he's a fish kabob

I can't tell if this is the buried, flesh or end

BAGPIPES

IT'S THE PIPER

it's the slaughter

Cause everyone slaughtered each other

Pfff

Eye thing

Mmm

OH GOD

126 is the distortion

Awwww

MARTEN

The recorder is silly

DOESeter

Idk if I liself-esteemt he still will

Of course he's worried about his boyfriend

ITS THE COFFEIN

OH

oh

OH MY GOD HE CAN DO STUFF

He had killed the thing

Lot of truck

DAISYS ALIVE BTW

We have bone Turner

SPACE PART 3

Oh god that sounded ow

YIPPEE

I can't really update during school

PFFF The eye is just my brain absorbeing things cause it's never anything useful

THE TAPE RECORDER IS JUST A SINGLE FOR KNOWLEDGE

GARRY

Garry reference

God damnit John stop being creepy to strangers

The computers are eating people again

SIMON FAIRCHILD

Mmmm cult's

MELINES GOING I GOUGE HER EYES OUT SO SHE CAN LEAVE THE EYE

oh god

Oh

WHAT HAPPENED TO DAISY JUST NOW?!?

I DIDN'T WANT HER TO DIE

Oop angey Martin

Oh dear

Peter Lucas is an asshole

Into the lonely

PFFF

LOVE THAT

John is so smart

THAT'S SOME OF THE GAYEST SHIT EVER

Oh god the eye opens

They gay

SEASON 5 BABY

Oh

PFFF

Aww

Stop being depressed

TF you mean I'm faceless

PFFF

Ah the not Sasha

Oh it pissed of John

“Ceaseless watcher turn your gaze on this wretched thing” HE SAID THE THING

Martens broken

They broke Marten

I think it the lonely

Oh

Oh god he's getting relatable

HE JUST KEEPS HATING THE CHAIRS 😭

“I am marten blackwood and I'm not alone anymore” HAD ME SOBBING

It's the bone man idk what his name is but I hate his voice

Helen just wants to have fun

Who the fuck is doctor David

I didn't realize they could get any gayer

THEY ACTUALLY FELT TIRED AND HUNGRY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE FUCK IF I KNOW

AND THAT FREAKY PIRATE AND WEB WOMEN ARE THERE

(They also just like feel asleep lol)

Doctor doe Jane is silly

Silly

HIII Helen!!!

“You've always said you were Helen!”

“I am! I also ate her… it's really simple if you don't think about it”

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

George and Melina are backkkk

And Meline fucking slays

The gays are arguing

DOSE ANNABELLE OWN THE TAPES?!?!

Christ that is scary

“Shocker, I have self esteem issues. Not the point” I am Martin

This is adorable and sad

1 MORE EPISODE

Oh

Oh god John

Oh he's pleading

Oh

OH MY GOD

HOLY SHIT

SHIT

OH

OH DEAR

IS JON OK

Oh

That's scary

Statement

This doesn't sound like a tape

Oh god

He's going to die

I'm going to cry

He's going to kill him

I'm actually going to start crying

Oh god

Simon?

Oh

[ekat-fandom-blog]

I love Justice League Action. The very first episode has Plastic Man, Booster Gold, Plant Thing, Captain Marvel, overly British Constantine, and smug Batman.

I mean come on! Who wouldn't want to watch a series where Plastic Man dresses as Wonder Woman and then continues to wear her boots(which are high heels btw) because they're comfortable. She doesn't even blink that he's still wearing the entire outfit other than to question why he's wearing her boots!

It's great. 10/10. 100% recommend everyone watch this.

[nezumithewriter]

season three of the magnus archives was fucking awesome

ep 81: "guess who got framed for murder" "anyways my childhood was fucked up"

ep 82: "it was a little bloody and i didn't like daisy" - my mother

ep 83: "JON? There's a weird letter in the mailbox for you. Says.. uh... 'statement of'" jon crashing through the wall with tape recorder sfx

ep 84: I GOT A JOB AT THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE?!? (I'M INEXTRICABLY TIED TO A BEING BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION)

ep 85: The man was there but also wasn't, fuck you want from me?

ep 86: Holy fuck i love melanie king i can't think of a funny 3am joke for this one except i can WORKING MY JOB AT THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES (READ A PAPER ABOUT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA) (MY COWORKERS NEED THERAPY) but seriously i love melanie king so much i need her to get out of there and to safety

ep 87: the Stranger watching this plumber with adhd swag walk in, fix their pipes, and leave despite all of the dead people's faces being cut off around him

ep 88: DIG.

ep 89: girlboss explains her fire fetish to concerned eldritch entity in training, oh and also AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ep 90: dude calm the fuck down they're just doing some reps on the high bar so what if they have no eyes it's fine dude why are you running

ep 91: Daisy Tonner kills mr. blue sky

ep 92: Elias really said "acab, also i killed gertrude and leitner lol. we're at war with a dozen or so eldritch abominations"

ep 93: Jonathan Sims explains the magnus archives lore to his friends after reading a statement about the corruption from terraria

ep 94: "the monster stole all of my 'give a damn' many years ago"

ep 95: Basira reading her alchemy book two feet away while Martin has a crisis over the fact he can feel the emotions of the statement giver when recording

ep 96: Jon and Daisy do a silly and commit a crime or two (broke and entered, murdered a mandela catalogue alternate, etc)

ep 97: "Are you going to kill me?" "What?? No!!!" "..." "well not rn!!!"

ep 98: "Are you worried about getting fired?" Melanie on her way to commit attempted murder

ep 99: Jonathan Sims gets kidnapped by the clown police (ASMR)

ep 100: can't believe we got The Spiral, The Desolation, The Web, the Dark/Buried, the Lonely in the same episode. the statements were so well done and the were clear and precise

ep 101: "why is the door locked" michael, 2 seconds before helen has a gamer's rise up moment

ep 102: knives, beetle wives, french, oh my!

ep 103: jon really said "fuck it we ball" and decided to use his eldritch powers to be petty

ep 104: "Tim! I might be an eldritch monster but that was unacceptable!"

ep 105: "你说中文?" "no i don't speak chinese"

ep 106: FUCK YOU ELIAS (GONE WRONG) (I WANT THIS BITCH DEAD)

ep 107: JON EATS THE STATEMENTS AND ALSO TREVOR AND JULIA ARE THERE THIS IS THE FIRST EPISODE WHERE I FELT INCREDIBLY EXCITED IS THIS WHAT MCU FANS FELT LIKE ENDGAME

ep 108: "Was he… woOoOo?" -- Basira Hussain, 2017

ep 109: FNAF but with three screaming corpses and a guy

ep 110: trans cinematographer deconstructs the film industry (and mr spider is there too)

ep 111: Jon interviews an emo book (real)

ep 112: #1 Victory Royale

ep 113: "STOP-- touching the plastic explosive"

ep 114: daisy and tim getting happy over the prospect of exploding a circus

ep 115: delicious, finally some good fucking food

ep 116: fuck your dance in particular *CANNON SFX*

ep 117: "hope we don't die!" vs tim and daisy's "fuck it we ball"

ep 118: Martin gets to commit arson-- FUCK YOU ELIAS FUCK YOU ELIAS FUCK YOU ELIAS FU

ep 119: genuinely one of the coolest episodes i've ever listened to due in part to the fact that i was just as confused as the characters (i listened without a transcript). The ways the stranger fucks with the archives team while they're slowly going insane from how much they've forgotten and no longer understand is phenomenal. I'm gonna miss Tim.

ep 120: world's weirdest clipshow that ends with police brutality

[darlingshane]

After Carmy leaves the pantry, Mikey breaks down in tears and slaps himself in the face. Was that on the page?

A lot of it was scripted. It’s a real testament to Chris, who wrote the episode. When he leaves him there, 99.9 shows out of 100, as soon as Carmy leaves that pantry, you go with Carmy. To stay on Mikey and be with him, it defies so much of how we do television, in terms of perspective and whose point of view we’re really looking at. It’s a private moment with this character that we know doesn’t exist. They give him two —��the moment that he’s sitting there waiting for him, suggesting that he’s feeling the buzz of the pills that he just took, but more importantly, afterward: They leave him there to sit in that pain, and to show it. That moment was understanding that this dream was never going to happen, this was never going to work because he knew where he was headed. He knew where he was going.

Opportunities like that are so unbelievably rare to give characters that private moment. I do think Chris wrote the slap. It was just so, so beautifully written and makes it makes the job super easy.

How did you create that tension with Bob Odenkirk, and what conversations were had before that?

The power of an ensemble, like the power of theater, is you look around that table and everybody is just a thoroughbred. The tension is created in the room. Every time we went and did it, it was completely different — a new person sort of popped up and did this new bubble of intensity or dread. It was super fucking tense in there, because everybody came to play and everybody really knows what they’re doing. And the material is so gorgeous.

With Bob, I’m such a huge fan of his. I thought it was just such a perfect choice. He was so down to come at me, and vice versa! When you have an environment like that, everyone is willing to be a little bit dangerous, because there’s so much trust. There’s so much love and everybody’s so dedicated. The goal starts to then be, OK, how can I shock this person? How can I scare this person? How can I do something that they’ll never expect? How can I lose myself within this? When you create an atmosphere that’s that unbelievably creative and that unbelievably safe, danger is not a hard thing to find. It was really fun! It was like great theater work, and it’s really rare.

How many times did you film that scene? I imagine it may be a bit exhausting.

I would do that all day. I don’t really get exhausted, that’s like a thrill for me. The show moves unbelievably fast. It’s a real testament to what this group has found: the conglomeration, the alchemy of these great artists with this great material. Last year, I had to shoot my stuff basically on my lunch break. They flew out to L.A. for me to shoot that scene. And they told me, “We move so fast.” I don’t think there was a single day that we were there for more than six hours. [Chris Storer] gets what he wants. He shoots it the right way. The crew is as good as I’ve ever worked with. Everyone is so unbelievably dialed in. The cameras are always moving. They’re totally alive.

You said every take was different. How much improv was there — was the table flip scripted? And what type of forks were you using?

They were kind of like plastic forks? Oh, the table flip definitely wasn’t scripted. But it’s still a testament to Chris. I was like, “Hey, man, you gotta let me kind of go crazy at least once!” I do a lot of action stuff and I’m aware of how big of a reset that it is, where the food is meticulously laid out and it’s so specific and is a character within itself. He definitely gave me the green light. It’s funny when you work with directors, especially in TV, because sometimes they’ll give you the green light, but then be like, “Just maybe save it ’til the end.” Chris was like, “Go do you.” I think the funnest thing for me really, in that scene, was to be off camera and just to keep that intensity, keep that fight going with Bob and see everybody else’s reaction. It was just such a joy to do.

I put on subtitles for some of my second watch, especially the scene with you, Ebon and Jeremy talking about Claire. Your one-liners were cracking me up. Did you say she’s a “basket of biscuits”?

Yeah, “all that and a basket of biscuits” is a Jon Bernthal D.C. line for me. That was definitely one that I threw in. When Chris is behind the monitor, they’re cheering you on, sometimes they’re yelling lines from behind the monitors. It’s this comedic, super dark, really, really authentic and honest world. There’s this air of anything can happen and let’s push it, come up with stuff and be really, really creative. And honor the moment. It really is the best way to work. And with Ebon, it’s such a natural conversation for us. We really found that scene on the day.

[cod-dump]

Hey. Sorry if I'm bothering you

What fandom/universes would the 141 want to be in? Price laswell Nik soap ghost has kronig horangi

Gaz: Pokémon nerd. Would kill to live in the Pokémon world, even for just a day. Owns every single Pokémon game in existence. Has played them all a million times and they will never bore him. Never. Ryan Reynolds voicing Pikachu made his entire existence (nothing will ever even come close).

Soap: Wants to be in the Legend of Zelda universe so, so bad. Would also kill to live there. Grew up playing Legend of Zelda as kid so it has a special place in his heart. Used to have a huge crush on Ganon (will kill anyone who finds that out with no hesitation).

Ghost: Loves Star Wars. Has openly said that he would be a Sith if he was force sensitive and enjoys the looks he gets. Wants to be a Mandalorian so bad. Is such a nerd about Mandalorians that he learned their language and can speak it fluently. He’s also very fond of the clones and couldn’t watch Clone Wars because he got upset whenever a clone died.

Price: DC nerd. Would love to fight crime with Batman, take on world ending threats as a superhero. Takes any scrapes of DC media he can get. Has a hoard of comics, still in the plastic sleeve, in a box. Would murder someone if they touched them.

Nik: Marvel nerd. Ironman is his favorite superhero and stands by that Russo Bros did him dirty. The MCU is dead to him, he only likes the comics a select few TV series. Stans Black Widow with a burning passion.

König: Man has loved RPGs as long as he can remember. Played Elder Scrolls: Morrowind so many times he knows the game backwards. Wants to disappear into the Elder Scroll universe and never come out. He wants to be a mage and learn the secrets of the universe.

Horangi: Has watched every single episode of One Piece and owns every manga. He’s not big into anime or comics in general but he loves One Piece. Cannot remember where his obsession started. Oni helps him get manga translated into Korean for him. Wants to eat a Devil Fruit even though he’s 100% convinced he’ll get a weird ass ability and he’s not sure if it’ll be worth trading his ability to swim.

[proxylynn]

I love the Vampair Series on youtube but I feel a lil disturb that Missi is .. 17 years old when she met Duke.. who is maybe an older guy??

https://weaselbeaselpants.tumblr.com/post/641238947098427392/talk-about-conflicted/amp

http://youtube.com/post/Ugkx26D4qBvAI_vrstysVV3P54bpyujdp20U?si=dmiSp8UTuJ3JpQ17

But Missi is a vampire now who probably an adult now… so idk. What do you think?

[*rubbing warm head* So I probably should go back to bed and break this fever more, but when have I let my health stop me from lore hunting? *digging* Okay...Yes. Missi is 17 on her missing person's flier. But...A Q&A video by the creator clarified that Missi was turning 18 in "The Night" and is currently 18 years old from "Land of the Dead" onwards, until further notice.

As for Duke, he's a bit of a wild one as, what with the looks in videos of his past, you'd think he'd be from the 17th-century thing. But...In videos like "Raised By Bats," we can see a child Duke at a playground, a very plastic-looking one, and Plastic playgrounds began to appear in the 1970s as safety concerns led to the replacement of metal with hard plastic. He appears to be getting picked on by a kid in a knockoff Transformers shirt (The first Transformers toys were released in April 1984). The boy next to him might even be sporting a Flash knockoff shirt, and the boy next to him on the right's shorts has a pattern that was most popular in the 1980's (gave me big Saved by the Bell vibes).

And if we go off the clothing these douchbags are wearing, sneakers of that kind are way more in line with our generation in the timeline. Same with their varsity jackets and pants. But wait! I have more!

These sets show a more modern setting. Skyscrapers and buildings of this design are more of a 80s-90s thing, even the commuter train is more of a style you'd see in today. Let me look in his teen room for more clues.

Daww...such an edgy scene boy. That desk lamp is a common model I see a lot today. Hmm...That Playboy might even be the biggest clue of all. *digging up* Yes! I found it. A November issue from 1991.

Now...With all this in mind. I am gonna stake this as the definitive link that Duke is not pulling an Edward and Bella. The problem here is I'm not 100% sure what year the The Vampair Series takes place in. My only clue here is in episode one.

Twilight, Book 1: Twilight came out in 2005. *doing sick math* If Missi is 17 in 2005 then I can estimate that she's born in 1988. If we can look at Duke as being 18 in the pics above (no way this man went to college) and see that 1991 is that specific date then...he was born in 1973. *digging more* This shot from "Dead Mom" has Duke in a class of '81 photo and if we go off the idea that '73 is his birth year, he'd be 8 in that photo.

Now...Let's tackle what age Duke was when he was bitten. Because I'm leaning toward the bite happening, maybe a couple years after he ran away from home (and we established that as 18) so somewhere in his 20s as he went from his thin little soul patch and scene phase to the man we see now with a thick goatee and appeared to have entered his grunge phase.

So...with my head now throbbing like it wants to pop, I should probably conclude this. If I have correctly calculated the birth years, which I probably didn't, so spare a grain of salt of a year or two...We're looking at a possible age gap of 10 years between them. Now if you'll excuse me...I need to take my meds.]

{I dug way too deep into this. Why am I like this? Oh yeah...because I like the series, and I hate conclusions being jumped without looking things up. Granted, that post mentioned way at the beginning of the ask is from 4 years ago, so they didn't have all the information that I've found. So no hate on them. Misunderstandings can happen when the full picture isn't available which can make the mind come up with stuff to fill in the gaps, but that's why it's best to hold out and see how things go before jumping the gun. Also, always check out the Q&As. Like most creators, Daria answers lore stuff in there, so gobble that good stuff up when you can.}

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 4

why did no one tell me this show has episodic mysteries. kirk is like fuckin columbo over here

oh this episodes fucked up too

spocks a dick. its great

youd think theyd get accustomed to their crew members getting turned evil but no it just keeps happening and they never know how to handle it

hey kirk. why are you, as a man, saying the word "compensate" like ten times this episode

ok i guess theyre not getting turned evil its more like theyre getting turned depressed. is this worse? mayhaps

OH NO SULU GOT THE HAND RUBBING DEPRESSION DISEASE

kirks shirt is just tight enough to be like. man u might as well be walking around in a thong

o'riley and sulu seem more manic than depressed. are they high

i

"you know what joes mistake was? he wasnt born an irishman" what

sulu please never die youre a delight

oh this episode is a metaphor for drugs. a kind of dumb one but a hilarious one

is this planet alive

i still have no idea why this episode is called the naked time

o'rileys actor is having a blast. good for him

uhuras earrings look like theyre made of plastic. did she win them at an arcade

what do the shirt colors even mean

...does the weirdness only affect the men? or does this show just not have enough girls to be statistically significant?

oh wait nevermind the girl doctor got weirded too.

is everyone on the ship qualified to take the helm????

is spock getting weirded. im excited

"im in love with you mr spock" no youre not shut the fuck up

this show is so weird

spocks eyebrows have a different thickness every episode

OH HES SNIFFLING. CRY BABYGIRL CRY

scottys been burning that wall for like 10 minutes

spock is so babygirl

god leanord nimoy did not need to go that hard with his performance in this scene but he sure fucking did

JESUS CHRIST LEANORD.....

"its only a theory its never been done" so itll 100% work? got it

god just kiss already

kirk is so horny he has an existential crisis about it

hey why the fuck is this episode called the naked time i still dont know

it has been 0 episodes since kirks shirt was ripped

can yeoman rand be left alone for two seconds. shes just some lady

"the engines imploded" he says, casually

theyre. theyre traveling through time.

what

why do they time travel in the drug-virus episode

...THATS IT?

THATS THE END?

WHY IS IT CALLED THE NAKED TIME????????????

[nostalgicamerica]

True story:

Shortly after my folks moved to Northen Michigan I fell in love with fishing.  It is a love affair that still haunts me today as an old man.

Not far from the house we called home, there was a small pond.  If it was more than fifty yards wide I’d be shocked, and maybe it was twice as long.  One end of the green jewel was so overgrown with bull rushes and lily pads it was unfishable.  

On the other side was a dilapidated dock that someone had constructed years before.  It was falling apart and riddled with broken or missing boards, rusty nails, and it was perfect for 8 or 9 year old anglers.

A coffee can full of worms, a couple of rods outfitted with Zebco reels (which were like as not filled with 20 pound test line), and all the misplaced enthusiasm in the world were all we needed.

I can assure you the Pumpkin Seeds and Blue Gills and Sunfish we caught were not of any appreciable size - maybe the size of my palm which was considerably smaller than it is now.  It didn’t matter.  

There was joy in watching that bobber do a little dance before disappearing under the algae-covered surface.  There was joy in reeling in the line and just knowing the catch was going to be a record.  There was joy as boys learned to become men.

Who knows how many fish we caught.  The Good Lord knows I don’t, but by the time we headed home we had probably 75 - 100 fish in a five gallon bucket.

Don’t ask why we kept them, or what we were going to do with them.  I have no idea what our intent was now, and I sure didn’t then.  They were too small to eat and we didn’t know how to clean them.  I don’t recall being overly fond of eating fish anyway.

I do recall hearing Dad laughing through the window from the kitchen after he told us we’d have to clean them without his help.

What we did was fill a plastic wading pool with a hose and dump the impromptu school of fish into the heavily chlorinated water and then admired the flashing green and blue and red swarm splash around until dinner time.

I like to think we were just protecting them from possible predators - cats, maybe, or neighborhood kids, but who knows.  When Mom called us in to wash up for dinner, we slid the pool into the garage behind Mom’s car, and pulled down the door, confident our slowly dying fish were safe.

I don’t know if all 8 and 9 year-olds are brain dead, but my brother and I were.

The following morning dear old Mom and Dad piled us all into the camper and rolled out for a trip to some part of the American West.  Two weeks of seeing new things, eating bad food and puking, getting car sick and puking, and sleeping in sleeping bags and puking.  And sometimes, just puking for the sake of puking.

I don’t recall thinking even once of our pool full of fish the entire two weeks we were gone.

When the camper pulled into the driveway at home and the dirty, sweaty, stinking mess of us poured out of the tenement on wheels, Dad opened the garage door and darn near fell over from the nastiest stench I have ever smelled before or since.  It was so strong I could almost taste it.

After collecting himself, Dad made my brother and I look at the stew we had created.  The blues and greens and reds were no longer.  A thick, black and brown congealed soup filled the wading pool.  I like to think I imagined the occasional glazed eyeball staring blankly up at the rafters.  

I puked.

He made us drag the pool out of the garage and dump the mess in the field behind the house and clean the plastic shell with the hose.  No amount of hosing was going to salvage that pool and, to my knowledge, it was never again used to cool off toddlers or anything else for that matter.

Mom had been pretty stoic about the whole episode until she went to use her car.  The garage and everything in it smelled like the fetid bowels of hell.

My brother and I spent days cleaning and scrubbing the inside of her car.  Scouring and sprinkling baking soda and vacuuming and letting it air out helped a little, but I promise you I could still smell that horrid blackness two months later when Mom made Dad take it down and trade it in for something else.

-

I have fished some fantastic waters since that summer, and have caught some magnificent fish, most of which I return to the water.  

And yes, I still feel that same joy I felt as a boy watching my bobber.  

[stillwill76]

Cool Bleach Stuff That I’ve Found Working at Vintage Stock

Alright, so I’ve been working at Vintage Stock for about five months now and from time to time we’ll get in some pretty neat stuff, whether it’s from corporate or a customer selling us stuff. Today, I’d like to highlight some of the Bleach stuff that we’ve gotten in. It ranges from really cool to funny to strange. Here we go!

First up:

This sick Hollow Ichigo mask. Bought this in from a customer. Cost $4.99. Immediately bought it for myself. It’s made of plastic so it’s not super high quality but it’s still pretty sick. Of course, like a week or two later, corporate sent us this:

I’m not 100% what material this one was made from but it was much higher quality. Cost $29.99. A customer bought it within a few days. I’m not too upset losing out on this one since I already have the other one for much cheaper. On to other things!

For context, I’m saying “Oh no”, because I know I’m going to buy this later. I actually didn’t though. I bought this one instead.

It was worth it. 😊 Anyway, at Vintage Stock we sell all manner of collectibles, DVDs, video games, and more. This includes figures, of course. So when we got this one in:

I knew I needed her immediately. I actually didn’t have any Bleach figures yet so this was pretty nice. We also had figures of Ichigo when he gets his new Zangetsu and Uryu in his Sternritter uniform but those got bought pretty quickly. We also have a couple of pre-owned figures. And, man. Are they funny.

I don’t know what’s funnier. Renji getting Mike Wazowskied twice or Byakuya costing ten dollars more. Anywho:

Obilgatory Funko photo. I don’t like Funko Pops. The only ones I own are gifts, aside from a Baby Groot one my wife and I bought after the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie came out. However, this one is kinda neat. Especially since it glows in the dark. Is it worth $59.99? Absolutely not. At least for me. Last thing on this list is DVDs. We actually bought in several box sets this evening.

Pretty standard stuff. We also already have Bleach DVDs in stock but they’re a bit… different.

Notice how it says, “Chapter 325-366,” the final episodes of the first anime, but the art is everyone in their season one looks. Also notice the art on the DVD on the right.

That, my friends, is fanart. We have bootleg Bleach boxsets for sale. 😂🤣 This was what inspired me to make this post in the first place but I wanted to wait until we got more stuff in. Here’s hoping I get more neat Bleach stuff in my store.

[purplepanda-marvel-leaks]

MARCH Q&A

Q:Will the crowns certain witches have be addressed in Agatha's show?

A: No crown lore in AGATHA I'm afraid! IIRC someone official said that Wanda gets a crown bc of her Creation magic or something.

Q: Can you share any information about the Wonder Man series?

A: Sorry, sources have been eerily quiet on Wonderman.

I'll share whenever I hear anything though.🙃

Q: any update on spiderman 4? (tom) Marvel v. Sony is still the last I heard on it. It'll take some time before they hash this out

Got some interesting info coming soon for that R-rated animated project Sony is cooking though 👀

Q: Any other F4 villains/ antagonists besides Galactus and Silver Surfer?

A: Too early to tell currently. (Is Galactus and SS even confirmed??) Last I heard is that the script was still being touched up.

Q: How big is Bullseye's role in Born Again?

A: It's substantial but not a HUGE role.

Q: Can you tell us if anything has been cancelled? (Disney+ shows, future movies)

A: I haven't heard of anything getting canned from any of my sources 🤷🏽‍♀️

Q: What do you think will be the best upcoming what if season 3 episode

A: Nice try Imao. The mech episode will be a lot of fun though

Q: Any more exciting Agatha news soon? 👀

A: Actually got quite a bit of Agatha news coming VERY soon 👀🤔

Q: Will the darkhold make an appearance in Agatha?

A: It can't make an "appearance" since Wanda destroyed them all, but it's certainly mentioned.

Q: Any update on when Eternals characters will return?

A: Check recent posts.

Q: Any details on what if…? Season 3 release? Spring? Summer?

A: it's been reported that it was planned for release this year, but it's unclear if that's still the case.

The lot of you will be the first to hear if I get any word on it

Q: What was your favorite movie from 2023?

A:

2023 was killer. Besides the obvious answers like Barbie and Oppenheimer, I thought these two films were amazing.

Q: Is Mysterios what if return as a cameo or a main focus?

A: More than a cameo forsure.

Q: Will we see more of Joe Locke in mcu after Agatha 👀👀

A: 100%. Billy has a lot to do

Q: niche question lol but do you know anything about John Walker's arc in Thunderbolts?

A: My sources have said that he's been doing his best to redeem himself.

If his best is the "right" way is to be determined…

Q: Will we ever get a strange academy? I just got done reading the comics!

A: I've heard whispers of something inspired by Strange Academy, AND Zelma Stanton is appearing in Ironheart

Q: X-Men

A:

Q: Is there any updates with Ironheart dates?? I swear I read they finished filming a while bak

A: They finished filming ages ago but I heard they're reworking things and will reshoot soon if they haven't started already.

Q: Is there any validity to the Plastic Man movie rumours?

A: I've been told no, but I want them to be true 😭

Q: Do you think part 2 of Born Again will happen?

A: Yes I do.

Q: What marvel character would your ideal film, series, or special presentation be about?

A: Specifically Joe Fixit 👀👀👀👀

Q: Should we worry about Captain America 4?!

A: I wouldn't be worried. Marvel is doing to Cap 4 what they did to DDBA:

They saw what they had, and are putting in the time and money to make it better.

Q: Will Thunderbolts be Rated R?

A: Nah I would highly doubt that.

Q: will we ever see daredevil in a comic accurate costume

A: Yes. He was supposed to get a new suit in the old finale (classic Marvel TV fashion, I know). Not sure about the new finale tho. Might be saved for part 2.

Q: Will DD:BA have a mature tone, and show the religious side of Matt like the Netflix show?

A: Yes. It was reworked to bring more of that mature tone back, especially in the action.

Q: Any future plans for Zemo in Thunderbolts or the MCU moving forward?

A: In Thunderbolts? No. In the MCU moving forward? Yes.

Q: Do we know who is on the table with the tag on the toe in Agatha?

A: The toe tag says W. MAXIMOFF 👀

Q: Do you know if we will see Mephisto in the MCU soon?

A: Mephisto will appear in Ironheart

Q: Is Wonder Man among the cancelled projects Bob Iger is referring to?

A: No. Don't expect anything that is already filming to get cancelled.

Q: will the survivors from the what if zombie episode be in marvel zombies?

A: Yes.

Q: Is Vision Quest still in the works?

A: The last i heard it was still in the works.

Q: Will we see blade in live action before his movie?

A: Unlikely. But we'll see him in animation at least 😭

Q: DDBA is releasing this year so what time of this year should we be expecting it to release

A: DDBA is NOT releasing this year

Q: Will Agatha and Rio have an stable romantic relationship in the series?

A: More like the opposite of stable 👀 💜

Q: Why did you lie about the Agatha series being titled Agatha All Along? D+ reveals its just Agatha

A: That's like asking Disney why they lied when they originally announced the series to be Agatha: House of Harkness 😭😭

My source was certain so I reported it Imao

[pointreyesjournal]

The Amnesiac : ep12

Steve McQueen And A Motorcycle Called "The Monster"

Any reasonably sensible man should, at a time like this, get a doctor’s note, call both HR and his boss to explain the situation thoroughly and then grovel shamelessly, begging for his job back. It’s a solid tactic, and I wouldn’t fault any man for doing it. But you have to ask yourself if that’s what Steve McQueen would do in a situation like this. Grovel? Surely you jest. Spend the afternoon looking out from behind the visor of a motorcycle helmet, trying to sort out what’s happening in his life? Very Steve.

The bump on my forehead announces its presence with authority as the motorcycle helmet slips down past my ears. Pain be damned, I’m going to ride. I’m certain it will help me understand this episode of amnesia, so I plunge the Ducati starter button and listen to the two big cylinders rumble to life. Nothing sounds like a Ducati, especially a vintage Ducati like mine. In 1992, following a decade where everything was either synthetic, digital, or plastic, Ducati hired designer Miguel Galluzzi to create a motorcycle that was simple, masculine, high performance, easy to manufacture and fun to ride. The Monster was born. Lacking the plastic fairings that were de rigueur for the day, the Monster used the engine as a stressed member of the chassis and connected the front end of the bike with a gorgeous, welded metal trellis.

What was initially intended to be a design study was an instant hit and has become a perennial best seller. Every time I swing a leg over the saddle, I tell myself “this is what Steve would have ridden.” A pure racing machine has ergonomics similar to the rack used to quarter Sir William Wallace. But the Monster, the Monster is your dance partner. The Rita Hayworth to your inner Fred Astaire. Comfortable, fast, exciting, sexy … dangerous. The dance is so delicate that one blink, one wrong move and you’re stardust.

The motorcycle helmet is the original virtual reality headset … a completely immersive 3D experience that overwhelms the senses and pushes your brain into what psychologists call “flow state.” Time warps into slow motion. Arms and legs seem to operate independently from your own mind and you can watch your limbs in wonder and admire how deftly they operate the controls of the bike, at 100 miles per hour, all while deeply contemplating other areas of your life.

I’m hoping that the flow state will trigger some memories in my brain as I hurl myself south along the treacherously twisty cliffside Pacific Coast Highway through Big Sur. But it doesn’t work. Instead, I do an analysis of my work situation and decide to send a short email to my boss and HR explaining to them that I accept the termination, and wish them the best of luck in the future. Seeing that, my boss will certainly reach out personally, and I’ll explain the situation then. But, I don’t want a job right now. I just want to know where the hell I’ve been for the past month.

With that decided, I endeavor to just enjoy the remainder of my motorcycle ride. And I do.

[moth-eats-paper]

MAG Thoughts on ep 93-103 (kinda just the beginning of 103 tho)

Obviously this contains spoilers for the Magnus archives. This is all Just my random thoughts of episodes 93 up to the beginning of 103 enjoy if you wish

THERE'S A CAT

John's hand still hurts from the cult of the flame

There's also a missing calliope? I think thats how you spell it

The institute is a death trap.

Both John and Elias are vessels of “The Eye” and can make people spill their guts Gertrude was also one up until Elias killed her. So that's fun

GORGEY MIGHT KNOW/BE A PART OF ANOTHR GOD?!?!?!

LAST WORDS OF A CORPSE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN GORGEY?

Gorgeys not ok

Nor is Marten

I quite like the new girl shes funny

Is anyone in mag alive lol

Well idk John why dose Elias do anything.

ITS THE THING GIRL DOLL PLASTIC THING OMG

(I have no idea what i was trying to type here^)

Tim and Marten are not okay especially marten

Spooky doll thing changed her mind apparently

And Michael (the spooky one) used to be an assistant of Gertrude funnnn

Ep 100 time baby :3) No one in the institute knows how to interview people except John and I'm pretty sure that's because of “the eye”

The spiders are back. The spiders are weird

Why is this woman so calm about a ghost woman who's on fire burning her (poor marten he's very confused)

Tim is speaking to a maniac

Melanie (I think it's her) is speaking to a man who keeps getting side tracked

THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU GOT OUT OF THE SPIRAL AND WENT TO DINNER

The poor detective

SPOOKY MAN NAMED PETER JUST APPEARED FROM NO WERE AND I THINK HE'S FROM THE UNKNOWN?!??

SPOOKY DOLL WOMEN!

THE COFFINS BACK

“Sarah wanted to use nails but I talked her out of it because I'm a good friend!” YOUR A MANNEQUIN (I love that line so much lol)

Oh wax love that

Mmm skin

Don't skin John please

ARE YOU GOING TO MOISTURIZED JOHN AND THEN SKIN HIM?

MICHAEL HOLY SHIT HE'S BACK

oh he's going to kill John

Revenge?

Oh

Oh dear he doesn't want to be Michael

MICHAEL BECAME THE DELUSION

Oh he's making a statement

MICHAEL SHELY

Oh god Gertrude

Unrelated but my cat has decided to try and kill me

PETER LUCAS IS ALSO THERE

Oh god Michael Shelley is very dumb

Only just know getting scared? What the fuck

Doors. fun

I can't even spell whatever that is

THE SPIRAL

Of course she didn't care

Just don't trust Gertrud

The Worker of clay?

His laugh is silly

Oh oh dear

Oh dear the doors not working

OH JESUS

HELEN

MICHAEL BECAME HELEN

HELENS GOING TO HELP?

HELENS THE DISTORTION NOW

So I guess the distortion only wants what that person wanted

Why does Elias just agree with the person who's trying to kill him

I think this man has bugs in his skin

He does

John can suddenly read French and then can't

I LOVE MARTIN

Melanie keeps trying to kill people

(People being Elias)

Pig episode (like actual pigs not the police)

[blacklist-notary]

#161: The Stewmaker

Synopsis: Elizabeth continues to look into her husband Tom, tracking down a date and a cryptic casefile title attached to him. But aside from that ongoing plot thread, things are finally looking up - a cartel leader named Hector Larcos is going to trial partially due to Liz's work, and the FBI have an airtight testimony from a star witness that's going to put Larcos behind bars. Larcos has been behind over 100 missing persons cases; his victims have never been found, and they finally have one person pinning him to the litany of crimes he's been charged with. After leaving hundreds of people without answers, this testimony is finally going to put him in jail.

Reddington, on the other hand, believes differently. Larcos has been in touch with him to get him a new name and a ride out of the country to start a new life - despite having his back against the wall, Larcos is very much under the impression that he's going to be a free man. Sure enough, the trial is disrupted and the FBI's star witness disappears in the confusion.

And so enters the Stewmaker.

This episode begins with the titular Stewmaker paying for a hotel room. He's tall, old and gaunt, and he has a trusty pooch by his side.

Once he gets inside his room, he begins to take off his clothes. He takes out the top row of his teeth - dentures. He peels off the hair he keeps on his head; it's a very artificial-looking toupee. After coating the room in plastic sheeting, he gets in the shower and he shaves his entire nigh-hairless body down, and then he coats himself in iodine to wash off as much traceable filth as he possibly can.

This naked, bald old man then adorns a gas mask and begins filling a jacuzzi-style bathtub with chemicals. He's ready for his next job.

The Stewmaker is the reason why Hector Larcos's victims have never been found. His chemical cocktail dissolves the body - clothes, bones, hair and all - and when he's done, he flushes them down the drain. He also keeps a memento of his kills, whether it be a tooth or a Polaroid snapshot of his sedated or dead victims.

Long story short, this episode is incredibly disorienting, weird and disturbing. This is one of the episodes where the Blacklister in question is undeniably the draw of the episode. Watch this episode to watch a guy turn people into stew and flush them down the drain.

Thoughts: One gripe I have about the Blacklist fanbase is that they can take things too seriously. The aspect of this that really bothers me are when people are really vitriolic and butthurt about Elizabeth Keen - like I said in my pinned introductory post, I'm of the opinion that Liz being a bit more bland compared to the rest of the cast is an acceptable compromise, given that The Blacklist is a show made for primetime television. I can live with that.

No hate if you take the show incredibly seriously, but I want to take the time to take the show down a peg for a second. You don't have to agree, but I just have to get this off my chest:

The Blacklist is schlock.

Now, granted - I love schlock. I'm a great appreciator of The Blacklist specifically for its portrayal of this impossibly seedy criminal underbelly of the world, where the sort of crimes being committed would only be possible through some form of magic at times. A kinder term for this sort of effect would be "magical realism" - the same thing that guarantees Raymond Reddington's ability to step out of frame and evade all attempts at capture, all so he can remain four steps ahead of everyone else at all times. It's schlock, and it's absolutely delicious.

The Stewmaker is the first truly emblematic element of schlock in The Blacklist. There are elements of it in the first three episodes, like the guy who saves the day in the pilot or the twist that happens in the second episode. The show hasn't been afraid to swing for the fences and go for maximum drama in the past three episodes. But the Stewmaker is pure, forward-facing schlock, and he dominates this episode.

And this is for the best, because the Stewmaker is undeniably one of the most iconic Blacklisters to ever grace the show. He's absolutely disgusting - he reminds me of that episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Frank shaves his body, covers himself in hand sanitizer and crawls along the ground like a slug because he wants to be "pure".

And on top of his character being such an over the top caricature of a body-melting weirdo, the Stewmaker is schlock for that sort of "magical realism" element of the show that I mentioned before. As far as I know, you can't dissolve a whole body over the course of a couple hours in a motel bathtub and let the debris wash down the drain. The acid breaks down all the soft bits, but my understanding is that it takes longer than that to liquify a person's bones, and teeth are always a concern when disposing of a body (sidenote: I'm talking from the perspective of other shows and movies where body disposal is portrayed, so like what do I know - I'm just yapping on my Blacklist rewatch sideblog).

And granted, teeth do factor into this episode. On top of the Polaroids the Stewmaker takes of his victims, he also keeps any teeth or other debris left over by his victims, and he keeps them in jars of formaldehyde. But we're talking the acid breaking down people's clothes, their skin, their bones over the course of a couple hours, and all that debris - hard bone, multiple layers of potentially artificial fibres - being soft and goopy enough to go down the drain of a motel bathroom. It's schlock.

I don't mean that as a nitpick, because it enhances the creepy atmosphere of the Stewmaker. I'm just saying, the show really isn't that deep sometimes. Sometimes you're watching a bald old man turn people into gunk.

This episode has a great handful of Reddington moments, but aside from that everything is kinda standard. Ressler is a standard FBI agent, Meera Malik isn't particularly nasty in this episode, Cooper appears once at the start of the episode and has maybe two lines at most etc. That's okay in my opinion, because everything else goes into milking the Stewmaker for all that he's worth. The Blacklist crew shot the money. I think that was a good call.

So yeah, the Stewmaker is an outstanding early episode of this show. It's tropey, it's schlocky, and it's extremely entertaining.