#EDIT: i was wrong about the tempest

[emmavakarian-theirin]

[bursts back onto tumblr with a tin foil hat]

guys what if we're getting a remake

[actual-changeling]

I have written many meta posts and s3-theories, and read even more, but I got hit by an idea I have not seen before. (If there is another post, please link it!)

After vibrating for an hour and losing my mind in my dms, I have no scraped together enough brain cells to present what is probably my first actual 'main-plot meta'.

Welcome to another edition of Alex's unhinged meta corner, today with a title to honour Crowley's James Bond obsession and the possibility of another heaven heist.

I give you:

From Jesus with Love - You Will Live Twice

Now, let's get right into it.

I think Neil might have told us more about the main s3 plotline in the announcement article than we previously thought. We all got stuck on 'they're not talking'—for good reason—but it is the part before that which has been bugging me ever since then.

The plans are going wrong—and this time that is a problem for earth and humanity. Turning that around, it means that whatever that plan consists of would be the way to go and beneficial for everyone, the opposite of the main plot of s1.

"They need to prevent the Second Coming (SC)" is pretty much the only and most popular idea I have seen, hundreds of fics and metas and whatnot have been written about it, but I think there's a good chance we're wrong. If we're not, well, I will honestly just be happy to be watching season 3.

Whatever the Metatron is planning will have negative consequences for everyone, or as Michael puts it: "And so… it ends. Everything ends. Time and the world is over, and we begin Eternity… forever and ever."

It sounds very much like Apocalypse #1 - Same Old Plan, same expected result, yet if we look at different interpretations of scripture we find that the SC is not entirely about complete destruction and death for all of humanity—it is about creating a new world/migrating to the kingdom of God.

This is taken from the Wikipedia article about the SC

Resurrection and life in a world to come are a direct contradiction to the result Michael is explaining—total annihilation of humanity.

Now, I am neither religious in any way nor have I ever received any sort of biblical education. Luckily, Christians seem to love talking about the bible because there are dozens of bible website to wade through. If I get anything wrong, please point it out, I have never touched a bible in my life.

So, after reading many, many quotes by a bunch of different guys, I tried to create a somewhat coherent picture of what the SC might look like based on the assumption that the end result is positive. I will talk about how they can be interpreted more in-depth later, otherwise this would turn into a string-net very fast.

Additionally, we can also see where these points overlap with the statement Jimbriel gave in the bookshop in episode three.

What is Jesus' job description?

only God knows when and how exactly it will begin/happen, no one else does, including Jesus and the Metatron

a lot of different catastrophes are mentioned or quoted as something Jesus said, like earthquakes and storms -> Jimbriel mentioned a tempest and great storms

there is also the line "All these are the beginning of birth pains." Birth pains dictate that there will be a birth—birth of the world to come perhaps?

dead people will be resurrected/leave their graves so that they too can be judged (I'd say participate in it but that sounds like the Second Coming is a summer camp activity)

there are also mentions of stars and the heavens in general falling from the sky and the sun going dark -> Jimbriel also mentions darkness as one of the signs

great lamentations, as Jimbriel says, are also a part of many different passages, with humans mourning the world as it was

the Lord will descent with the voice of an Archangel and the sound of a trumpet/the trumpet of God; the grammatical structure of that sentence seems to be interpreted differently depending on who you ask, but the voices of angels/an Archangel and some sort of trumpet are common terms

once everyone is in heaven/wherever the 'main even' will take place, a judgement call will be made for every single person in relation to the book of life, which decides whether they will be punished forever or not (one passage talks about a lake of fire and mentions it several times in a row)

And this is where it gets tricky. To figure out what the SC looks like, we first need to understand a) what the Metatron's capabilities are, b) what he has to lose, and c) what exactly would be a threat to him.

If you ask me, all of this comes down to the Metatron wanting to stay and be in power for eternity with full control over angels so he can do as he please, aka keeping the system running as it is.

We know the book of life (bol) is a thing in the Good Omens universe, whether it does what Michael said is an entirely different question. So far, we have also only got confirmation that hell collects and tortures souls—in such large amounts that they are understaffed—while heaven looks completely empty.

The Metatron runs heaven as an institution, he seems to be the highest power any of the angels have access to and the one they defer to. He refers to himself as the voice of God and combines judge, jury and executioner, making him one great celestial dictator.

From what we know of hell, they do things a lot more democratically, having different councils, dukes, and ranks that are responsible for different levels of command.

We also know that that the Metatron wants the world to end, his goals can probably be summarized as the statement Michael makes, which would leave him in charge without any opposing forces.

We also also know that he sees Crowley and Aziraphale as a threat—why exactly remains a mystery for now—and that the success of his plan hinges on having a Supreme Archangel (SA) he can control. Gabriel decided to become princess of hell and Beez' sugar baby, so he was out of the equation, and after the Armageddon disaster, I don't think he wants to risk failing because of an unfamiliarity with earth (plus, y'know, getting our two idiots away from the plan).

It's interesting to me that right at the end, he says to Aziraphale "We call it the Second Coming"—call, not it is or it will be, CALL. We know that nothing Neil writes is a coincidence, definitely not with such an important line.

Just because you CALL something a specific name doesn't mean it IS what you call it, e.g. Aziraphale calls Crowley a foul fiend when we know he very much isn't.

The Metatron is selling his plan as part of the "Great/Ineffable Plan", so any questions can be blocked by saying it's God's will, it's ineffable. Whatever his plan is, he hides it behind the concept of the Second Coming, which angels know just enough about to understand the basics without having in-depth knowledge of what exactly it entails.

It is a good fucking strategy, I'll give him that, and it WORKS because angels—even if they have doubts—do not question. They simply don't; fear of punishment and millennia of conditioning have left them in a horrible place. When they encounter something unknown, their response is "I already knew that" as to not ask questions.

Crowley questions, we know that, and Aziraphale, ohhhhh, Aziraphale ALSO questions, but he does it in a less dangerous and obvious way. The Metatron is vastly underprepared for that.

(Side note: That alone would be its own meta post, but the gist is that he questions heaven's plans and then adjusts his assumptions of what God might want to what he WANTS God to want, e.g. Job, the Arch)

To summarize everything I just said, the Metatron wants to do what Armageddon failed to do—destroy earth and the universe—so he can be supreme dictator of all remaining celestial beings and gorge himself on power.

But instead of calling it his Big Evil Plan, he calls it the Second Coming, making everyone play along without resistance.

We cycle aaaaall the way back to the sentence I quoted—the ACTUAL plans are going wrong since the Metatron's would mean total destruction.

But what is the SC supposed to be if not the Apocalypse 2.0?

When I look at all the different aspects of the SC and assume a positive outcome, then the end result to me would be a new world that is pretty much like the old world, or maybe even literally the old world but with any destruction reversed. Heaven and hell get dissolved since now that everyone has been "judged", they as institutions are no longer needed, they have fulfilled their purpose.

No more judgement means there is no reason to keep track anymore, so why do you need to run celestial corporations whose only job is doing exactly that? You don't—and THAT is what I believe is the biggest perceived threat to the Metatron, losing full control over everyone and everything, losing his position, his title, and whatever else he has.

On top of that, Good Omens has told us again and again that God doesn't seem to give a fuck about good and evil anymore, and that without heaven and hell being all wrapped up in it, humanity would have 100% free will without any consequences.

Maybe the BoL is empty, maybe it isn't real, maybe Jesus stole it to straighten a wobbly table, who knows. There is a chance it is what Michael says, but I would admittedly find that a bit. too obvious and boring since it would boil the plot down to "they save their own asses again" and not "they save humanity at all cost".

Regarding Crowley and Aziraphale's role in this—I have Thoughts TM but those definitely need their own post. In short, they have to get the SC back on track, the real one.

-

If you have made it this far, thank you for working through what I hope are more or less coherent rambles. Any spelling or grammar mistakes are my own.

Questions? Thoughts? Corrections? Expansions and additions?

Feel free to add to this post however you like (and I can't believe I have to mentions this but if you clown on my post or behave like an asshole you will be blocked).

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Predictions

So we’ve been speculating wildly what the remainder of The Sandman might look like on here and in our community (join us!) for a while.

And I thought it would be fun to put my predictions to paper (so to speak) so I can be embarrassed about them later and laugh at how wrong they were 🙈

Taking all the casting announcements and BTS in consideration I’ve collected like a magpie (check out my #sandman S2 tag), I will have a stab at it…

Only 12 Episodes or Aiming for Renewal?

Both is possible, but I am more and more leaning we’ll get the whole thing in twelve episodes in two batches of five each with two wraparound episodes (one will be AGoY/THCoL in the middle, one the last three issues of The Wake).

We know the episode names for six episodes that are directed by Jamie Childs. That doesn’t mean they were in order, or that there won’t be other directors involved. It wouldn’t surprise me if they at least went for female writers/directors for AGoY/THCoL, and if that’ll be the episode that separates (or rather connects) SoM and Brief Lives. So here comes my totally unhinged prediction for 12 episodes, including the titles we know (mind you, they might also be working titles). The chapters from the comics are to be seen as fluid and not absolute, because there are a lot of scenes that are not linear in chronological terms and will probably be shuffled around a bit:

Batch One

“More Devils Than Vast Hell Can Hold” (that title is a direct quote from AMND): A Midsummer Night’s Dream, SoM Prologue & Tales in the Sand flashback

“Season of Mists”: SoM ch. 1-3, ch. 4 is getting dropped

“The Ruler of Hell”: SoM ch. 5 through Epilogue

TBA: AGoY & THCoL “Brief Lives”: Thermidor and Brief Lives ch. 1-3

“Brief Lives”: Brief Lives ch. 1-5 “The Song of Orpheus”: Brief Lives ch. 4-6 and The Song of Orpheus segueing into

“The Song of Orpheus”: Brief Lives ch. 6. Bast is an excellent cut to SoO. Thermidor will also be in there. “Family Blood”: Brief Lives ch. 7-9

Batch Two

“Family Blood”: Brief Lives ch. 7-9 TBA: TKO ch. 1-4

TBA: TKO ch. 1-4 TBA: TKO ch. 5-7

TBA: TKO ch. 5-8 TBA: TKO ch. 8-10

TBA: TKO ch. 11-13

TBA: The Wake (all of it apart from…)

TBA: Sunday Mourning/Exiles/The Tempest

Edit 19/09:

[strikeouts in text done on same day]

So I’ve read The High Cost of Living again over the past few days because it didn’t want to leave me alone, and I’ve now convinced myself we’ll get it as a side-plot to Brief Lives in episodes 4-6, and that we’ll get tiny bits of AGoY, (mostly to set up Wanda/Ruby for Brief Lives and Hazel/Foxglove for THCoL) as a side plot to SoM in episodes 1-3. Spoilers ahead, so skip if that’s not your thing:

Both Sexton and Orpheus have a death wish. I don’t want to drag this out too much because the post is long enough as it is, but suffice it to say, Sexton rethinks after spending a day with Didi/Death, while Orpheus is granted his wish. And this is what ultimately sets Morpheus on his own path. The meaning of “So live” would be beautifully contrasted that way because it has different meaning to different people, depending on their own experience. Add to that Death spending a “brief life” for one day herself, and I can somewhat see the vision.

Failing this, THCoL could also be a special in episode 13 that hasn’t been announced yet (I’d rather have Overture though if I’m honest).

In more detail:

A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Tempest will be bookends, one before SoM, one after The Wake (they don’t necessarily have to be full episodes, they could be half each and make up roughly an hour combined. It really depends on overall runtime).

We’ll kick off batch one with Season of Mists (maybe the prologue and will also be in episode 1–there are several points in AMND that would make good cuts into SoM), and Tales in the Sand won’t be a full episode but incorporated as flashbacks (maybe around the family dinner). After we conclude SoM, we’ll get one episode of AGoY will be a side-plot to SoM, as per above (if it happens at all), and leads into THCoL as a side-plot to Brief Lives as per my edit above, because there’s a through-line in there for Fox and Hazel, plus we can set up Wanda/Ruby for Brief Lives.

Bonus 1:

Johanna will be somehow involved in SoM (she’s the Hellblazer after all), and we’ll get her to hook up with Murphy. No need for a longwinded introduction of Thessaly. Or, failing that, we just cut out the love interest completely, Morpheus does his moping session because Nada rebuffs him again, but Jo will still take Thessaly’s place as the crone.

We’ll move into roughly three episodes of Song of Orpheus/Thermidor and Brief Lives from there. Wanda will die in Brief Lives like Ruby, not in AGoY.

We finish the first batch with Morpheus alone on his chair after you-know-what 😩

Second batch: TKO and The Wake. Little bits of World’s End will be woven in where it fits, maybe already in the first batch as well. Same goes for little bits of standalone issues from Fables and Reflections.

Jo will take Thessaly’s place and protect Lyta because she’d just believe it’s the right thing to do (she also sympathises because she lost Astra). Whether she also holds a deeper grudge depends on if they set them up as having an affair or not.

My guess is four episodes TKO and one for the Wake. Sunday Mourning and Exiles will be done in one episode. The movie concept art that Jill Thompson did ages ago showed Daniel in the distance on the beach with the other three, and I think that’s a good tie-in point to lead into Exiles. Even the Tempest might fit in there if they make the last episode more feature-length. And you’ve got your two Shakespeare bookends.

Bonus 2:

Hob will be reinstalled to his narrative purpose because at least half the fandom will drop him like a hot potato and ship Morpheus x Cluracan instead. Because:

If you think 12 episodes are tight: Yes, if you want to see every detail and issue of the comics. But not everything you see in a graphic novel translates well to screen, plus you don’t perceive time the same way. What takes ages to read can be something like 30 seconds in a film. Add to this that the movie that never happened was conceptualised as a trilogy if I’m not mistaken, so probably 6-8 hours planned runtime in total. So they always had a definite idea how to streamline it, and they were planning for it before. 12 episodes with 45 to 60min each give us more to play with than a movie-trilogy (plus we can already take the time off that we spent on S1). I think it’s doable, but of course it means tightening arcs and dropping stuff.

However, I’ll be honest with you: With all that’s been going on, and having seen that they filmed right through until the end, I’d rather have them wrap up now. Because I honestly can’t see a S3 happening after all that’s already been cancelled and put on hold because of you-know-what (I’m thinking of Disney shelving The Graveyard Book and Amazon putting GO on hold and sitting on the Audible despite it being finished).

But also: These decisions have likely been made long before these considerations even became an issue: Renewal was on a knife’s edge, and choices were made back then we can only guess at. Scripts aren’t written over night, neither are sets changed around wildly on a whim (plus actors aren’t just tied to one project and can’t just willy-nilly change their schedules). And some sets for TKO were already confirmed and booked in May. So they were always going to do what we’ve seen in BTS shots. It’s not a sudden development.

In any case: If they aimed for more seasons than two, I think this prediction could still hold in general, we’ll just get it more fleshed out. In that case, I’d say 10 episodes of SoM and Brief Lives (5 each), and A Midsummer Night’s Dream and THCoL as standalones with the rest as side-plots woven in (that includes AGoY). Then S3 comprising TKO and The Wake with more space for standalone episodes and World’s End. Maybe even Overture as a special. I very much doubt they would go for more than three seasons in total though.

So these are my predictions, now I’d love to hear yours…

[p-receh]

Analysis time! :D

What better way to make another thesis for certain parts of the last episode?

This post, I'll be talking about how strong the Power Spheres could take over its owner's mind.

As I ever mentioned it before. Even though comic book already covered the story of season 2. Again, we still need to look at the TV ver. Because whatever happens, TV shows is still the roots of Boboiboy's franchise. Whether you like it or not.

We good? Now shall we begin?

Re edit for grammar correction

See, of all every Power Spheres that had been introduced, only Kokotaim gang were not yet been "confirmed" what was their Power Spheres look like. Sure, the only elemental bot that had been shown were Hang Kasa's Crystal Bot and Retak'ka's Light Bot, but that's it.

Monsta already established two rules about the Power Sphere:

Every Power Spheres have their mind and soul. They could talk, think and feel like a living being.

Whatever happens, their contact with their first owner emended to their traits and it impacted to their next owner as well.

My first suspicion obviously came from what Gopal had said before in one of anon ask box about the first debut of Taufan and Hali in OG series.

"In the past, Boboiboy Lightning turn into Thunderstorm because he felt extremely angry. Boboiboy Wind turn into Cyclone also because of felling an absolute joy."

Another interesting aspect is from Mechamato movie. Specifically when Amato in Mecha suit mode was being locked to a flashback scene triggered by Mecha Bot uncontrollable sense of fear.

(excuse me for putting the Indonesian sub ver. :/

*translation note in order:

"Mechabot, Shoot!"

"Mechabot! What's wrong?"

"C'mon Mechabot!

From this point, I think you can guess what I would want to go from here.

As the tweet mentioned. It is interesting to note the similarities between the two. Whenever the Power Spheres' soul take over the owner's body more deeper, their eyes will glow and the scars spreads to their skin.

And by that logic, the Power Spheres consume much more energy than before. Thus the heavy drained out both mentally and physically from their owners.

Amato knew this and to fix the same issue, he convinced Mecha Bot during their final battle against General Grakakus in the same movie.

"Mechabot, close your eyes! I will be the one to handle our moves! Trust me!"

It goes back to one of my ted talks about this topic and a highlight some particular line from Kuputeri.

One of my favorite Boboiboy account also solidified his statement again about Oboi's being controlled by Power Sphere or in this case, elemental forms.

In my opinion what Oboi went through was somehow worse than any other Power Sphere wielder out there.

Not only he wields seven strongest powers in the galaxy but also might be the most unconstrained one to control them. Then again he still not reach his age of consent, but he already hold big responsibility to become the hero and most wanted target in the galaxy.

Think about it, even their original owners were a bit struggled to learn their power. Hang Kasa travel planets to planet only for learning his power with other elemental masters, Kuputeri needs to harness for at least hundreds years until she could tame Beliung/Tempest's, A small crack Ki'rana's body armor could made her went berserk due to the immense power of the Lightning bot.

In common sense, every wielder still has their Power Spheres as their own companion while Oboi hasn't. What Boboiboy only has to contain that grandiose powers? a watch. A watch that went three times modification simply because of the powers that was too strong to keep and use all at once. Not to mention how frequent Oboi uses split and now with fusion techniques is also add to the list.

He barely managed to ease his mind when transform to Beliung, Ice and Blaze worsen Baraju's conflicts with their near 3rd tier transformation, and he was lucky to be saved by 30 minutes Oakuat Juice so he could keep Rimba under his watch.

Now that we come so far, the questions still remains missing:

With how bad the elementals took over Oboi, will it possible they are gonna be the next villain for him in the future?

Does Amato knows about Boboiboy's Elementals powers? Does he also know Ochobot past before sending it to him?

Did the rest of elementals Power Spheres already destroyed after the first Retak'ka's raid or not?

I guess maybe Mechamato series might be the answer of Ochobot and all elementals Power Spheres in the past. Again we still have no clue what happened to him during the season 2 events.

And also this line up post before Monsta split the title for Dwifusion to "Gentar" and "Baraju"—

—announced the third season of Galaxy series after BM3 Gur'latan(quite close too after the movie you know?) . My only hope is that it cover the elenmentals and also other origins of Yaya, Ying, Gopal, and Fang Power Sphere.

Where were they came from? Were their Power Spheres also get destroyed like all elementals did? Are their owners still alive or not?

🤔

.

.

.

.

OOT but I just love Monsta's new thumbnail art for full ep marathon of Windara. 😎👍

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

Seven Sentence Sunday - Bad Buddy Edition

(Okay, I know it's always Bad Buddy edition when it's me.)

Guys, girls and non-binary pals, I am SO close to finishing the final chapter of When Tempests Toss, Embrace Chaos. And let me tell you, it has been a struggle. See, when my head wants to write, it wants to write. But when it doesn't? Yeah... Apparently the last few months have been a I dont wanna kinda time in the ol' nogging. Anyway, in celebration of being the in the final throes of chapter 5, I thought I'd revive this little tradition:

“Not that you'd be much competition anyway,” he continued, just to push, just to see if there was more.  He got an indignant squawk and a head appearing above him with scowling eyebrows. But there was no sudden declaration that he was going to prove Pran wrong by swooping Ink off her feet, instead Pat just exclaimed, “Excuse me! I'm great at flirting! The best!” “Oh, really, I've never seen any evidence of that,” Pran countered.  He didn't expect Pat's eyes to narrow and his head to move closer, close enough to make Pran's heart start pounding in his chest.  “Are you asking me to prove it? Do you want me to flirt with you, Mr Pran?” Pat simpered.  Yes. 

@incandescentflower @dancing-out-in-space @danmei-trash @galauvant @snickerdoodlles @jemmo @aroceu @hereforlou @sunshinedobi @airenyah @dudeyuri @grapejuicegay @lurkingshan @lurkingteapot @telomeke-bbs @lost-my-sanity1 @dimpledpran @hughungrybear @stitch-me-not @linkisanenby

I've tagged a few people that I came to mind but anyone else who is writing fic or meta, whether it's about Bad Buddy or anything, please feel free to join in if you would like! Tag me in any seven sentence posts you do please, I'd love to read them!

And if I have tagged you, then no pressure to do this, I'm just putting out there in case people would like to join in

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Where the Ashes Settle

----

Roman was prepared for normal day, leave the hotel, get coffee, go to the station and head home.

He hadn't made room in his schedule for getting caught up in a villain fight, nor getting kidnapped by the villain and his arch-nemisis, though.

----

| Ao3 |

Warnings: Injury, kidnapping

Pairings: Anxceit, possible future anarociet depending on how you wanna interprit.

Word count: 3437

Notes:

I wrote this whole thing today because I was bored and wanted to have some fun. I've been wanting to make a superhero au for a very long time but I'm too lazy so here's a oneshot instead. :) - i't's not really edited as of right now, I might come back and fix it later, but I can't say for sure.

----

Roman was just a civilian.

He had no useful powers, as much as he’d always wanted to be a hero, being a super one is just not on the cards. Voice Projection. That was Roman’s power, he could make his voice be heard from anywhere, with a microphone it was amazingly useful during concerts. But he could only make his voice as loud as he could yell, so the most he’d be able to do as a hero would be… to cause confusion, potentially. 

So Roman wasn’t a superhero, he was a regular person, an indie singer who was nowhere near as well known as he wanted to be, doing gigs in pubs and at small events who didn’t have the money to hire the bigshots or specifically wanted acts that no-one had heard of. It was fine, Roman loved singing, holding the attention of a crowd was something he was good at, writing and performing music had been something he loved since before he could remember.

He was well aware of the more super goings on of the world, of course. He followed the heroes almost religiously, their instagram stories, the events they were doing, the latest battles they’d won against upstart supervillains. His favourite was a longstanding battle between one of the top heroes - Viper, who was surprisingly popular despite his dark and mysterious persona - and one of the most renowned villains in the country - Tempest, who looked and played the part of arch-nemesis very well.

Roman followed their battles over the internet, watching the videos and footage. Their fights were always immense and almost beautiful, they were evenly matched, skill wise, and they both had crazy power sets. Viper could shapeshift, between human and animal forms, including - to Roman’s delight when he saw the battle - a dragon. Tempest could create - as his name suggested - storms, he could walk on the clouds, draw lightning strikes from the heavens, create heavy rains and strong winds whenever he wanted. 

It was brilliant to watch, after the fight had taken place from the comfort of his mediocre apartment living room.

It wasn’t quite so great to be there in person. 

He’d been getting a coffee at a cute little cafe he’d found whilst staying for a week in a town a few hours out from his own for a few pretty good gigs he’d been able to snag and he was just about to head to the station to get his train back home. He’d decided to stop by the shop on the way. He’d known something was wrong when he’d stepped back onto the street, coffee cup in hand, guitar case slung across one shoulder and backpack on the other, to find it deserted. 

Thunder. He heard it first as he made his way down the street, turning the corner to see the dark, angry clouds gathering just up the street. He rushed forward - blinded from the danger by his eagerness to see the fight - maybe he’d be able to film it if he could get a good view! Witnessing a battle in person - especially one on this magnitude - was rare and absolutely granted bragging rights over all your family and friends, so Roman wasn’t about to pass up such an opportunity.

He must have approached from somewhere behind Tempest, as he creeped along the street and pulled out his phone to record - even as the wind whipped at his hair, thankfully it wasn’t raining. He knew that this was stupid, he’d be in a lot of danger coming this close, but he felt almost like he had to.

Further up the street Roman spotted Viper, shifted into some kind of big cat crouched atop an already damaged car, making up some kind of blockade at the other end of the street. Roman could hear yelling and crying from behind it - he must be protecting people that way. The pair of supers began to fight properly, thunder booming in the sky as they clashed. Viper turned mid-jump into what looked to be a griffin, and ran at Tempest. Roman watched in wonder as the two clashed in front of him. 

Lightning struck, too close to him to be safe. He let out an involuntary yelp for fear when the building began to catch fire. His eyes darted between the rapidly spreading fire to the fighting pair. Neither of them had noticed. He heard a scream from inside the building and - panicking - Roman decided he would have to do something. 

“Hey!” He called, but his voice was lost to the raging winds. He tried to use his power, placing his voice nearer to Viper - “Hey! The- the building’s on fire! To your left!”

Viper looked over, golden eyes widening for just a moment, before he was slammed into by Tempest. 

Shit -! Roman thought, glancing back at the building again, breath quickening, he’d just gotten Viper hurt - he was sure he could probably face legal action for interfering like that, and the people in the building were no closer to getting saved. His power really was useless after all.

Roman was just trying to figure out what to do when the fire began to spread too close to him - across the debris already on the floor. He took a few steps back only to scream as something came hurting at him in the wind. The bit of flying debris smacked into his shoulder hard, sending him flying to the ground and leaving him winded. His vision swam as he laid there on the ground, distantly aware of more yelling than before, was it closer? And the crackling of fire, the screaming of sirens somewhere far in the distance. Roman hoped they’d be fast enough to save the people in the buildings. 

—

“Shit!” Virgil yelled when he heard someone scream from far too close to them to be from the crowd. Rearing back from where he’d been about to punch Janus and looking around just in time to see the civilian standing far too close to the fight get flung backwards to the ground - almost into the raging inferno that was the building behind him. 

Janus shifted back to himself as he stared at the same sight. Virgil growled, well aware people were still watching, and darting forward - grabbing the hero by the collar of his shirt and holding him close, making sure his expression was mean enough to appease any watching cameras even as he whispered his split second plan to the hero.

“I’m going to ‘kidnap’ him,” Virgil said, voice barely a hiss, “And run, make it look like you beat me and then get the people in that building out- I’ll make sure he’s okay back at the apartment. ”

“Be careful, Darling,” Janus told him, before transforming into a giant beast and grabbing Virgil, with a snarling growl, flinging him across the street towards the knocked out civilian. Virgil landed expertly, made a show of looking around as if disoriented and got up. Janus roared and Virgil took that as his cue to run, scooping up the civilian and grabbing his things on a second thought before grabbing one of his clouds and swiftly escaping the scene, starting a downpour as he did so. He hoped maybe it would help with the fire. 

He really didn’t want innocent people to get hurt. 

—

When Virgil arrived at the apartment building, the civilian now fully unconscious in his arms, he was stopped by his security guy, Logan. Virgil groaned internally as Logan questioned why Virgil was carrying some knocked out guy and why the fuck he had a guitar. 

“Don’t question me ,” Virgil snapped, his voice slipping into his supervillain persona’s for a moment, startling Logan. He’d have to apologise later, but he had no time for Logan’s never ending questions right now, “When Viper gets here, let him in.”

Logan looked at him skeptically, but Virgil’s expression hardened, practically daring Logan to argue with him. Eventually he just sighed and nodded, allowing Virigl to make his way into the building. He saw Logan rub his forehead out the corner of his eye as he walked away. Maybe he should make him an apology cake.

Carrying the civilian up the stairs was easy when you were able to manipulate the wind to give you a boost. When Virgil finally arrived at his apartment he went straight to the spare room and laid Roman down carefully on the bed, placing the guitar and bag nearby before setting about checking him for injuries. 

He wasn’t burned, thank goodness, but Virgil was worried about his shoulder where the debris must’ve slammed into him. There were bits of it embedded in his skin and the joint looked dislocated. Virgil just prayed that was the worst of it as he - as gently as he could - popped his shoulder back into place and removed the biggest pieces of debris. Cleaning him up and bandaging his shoulder properly. He was used enough to doing this for himself by now. 

Until Virgil heard Janus arrive at his front door, Virgil stayed sitting by the bed, making sure the civilian was okay the entire time.

—

Roman felt groggy when he woke up, like he’d drunk too much at a party or something, though he couldn’t remember any party. This wasn’t his house either - the bed he was lying on felt unfamiliar - and very soft. The covers were tucked up to his chin and he felt very warm and safe here as he stared up at the plain ceiling. No fluorescent lights - so probably not a hospital either. Where the hell was he?

From the next room, he could hear voices, though he couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. When he tried to move up, pain shot through his shoulder enough to make him gasp - and then his head started to feel like it was splitting apart. Right, he remembered now. 

Just because Roman remembered what had happened to him before he had clearly passed out, that didn’t help him to understand where the hell he was, or who was talking in the other room, or who these lovely purple bed covers belonged to. 

His head was killing him, so he closed his eyes again. 

“He’s been asleep for almost a full day now,” He heard someone say, the sound causing shooting pains in his skull, was that voice kinda familiar? It felt like it was, but Roman couldn’t place it, “I’m starting to worry it might be worse than a bump on the head.”

“Perhaps it would have been better to take him to a hospital, Darling.” The second voice said - this one was even more familiar than the first. He started to think he must be dreaming, though, because surely Viper wasn’t actually here. He’d heard that voice enough in interviews and publicity stunts, maybe he was dreaming?

“Yeah well - it wasn’t like we had much time to make that call,” The other voice huffed. 

“I know,” Viper sighed, “If he doesn’t wake up in the next half hour we should take him to the closest hospital.”

The other voice scoffed, “And what, tell them: ‘Oh hey doctor, here’s this guy I almost killed yesterday and then kidnapped because we didn’t know what to do!’ How would that go over, you think?”

“...You’ve got a point,” Said Viper. Roman stewed in his own thoughts as he pretended to sleep, yesterday, almost killed, kidnapped - that familiar voice… Was that Tempest ?? - what the hell was Tempest doing here with Viper, and had they really kidnapped him? What the fuck was happening?

Roman groaned softly as the pain in his head spiked and both of them went silent.

“Is he awake?” Tempest asked, Viper made a noncommittal noise in response, before seemingly walking over. 

“Hello, darling,” Viper said, voice much closer now, “Are you awake?”

That soft tone was so different from the sarcastic, sassy persona he always displayed for the public. It made Roman feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Hey- I thought I was ‘darling’!” Tempest said, from further away. He sounded like he was pouting and Roman resisted the urge to laugh as he peeled open his eyes again, having to blink a few times as the light made his head spin.

“You’re ‘Darling’, with a capital ‘D’, Darling, everyone else is a lowercase ‘d’ darling,” Viper dismissed, before looking back at him and smiling. That was Viper alright, his signature scales were glittering gold in the dim light of the room and his mismatched eyes - one blue, one gold - were looking at him with an expression so caring and soft Roman almost reeled back. Why on earth was the hero looking at him that way? His hair was loose, tumbling to his shoulders in blonde waves and topped with a fancy hat that seemed a little silly compared to the comfortable clothes he was wearing. 

His gaze wandered warily to where Tempest stood, a fair ways behind Viper - leaning on the wall beside the door. His identity wasn’t quite so obvious, considering his costume consisted of a mask and a hood. But Roman recognised his electric purple hair and violet eyes regardless. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets of an oversized hoodie and seemed fairly relaxed in posture. 

“Will you sit up and drink something for me, darling?” Viper asked, gently placing a hand on Roman’s shoulder to help him up. The movement made him feel dizzy, but he did think water would be pretty nice right now. 

“...Where am I?” Roman asked after taking a sip of cold water from the glass Viper pressed into his hands. 

“My apartment,” Tempest answered, not moving from across the room. 

“...Why?” He asked, frowning.

“I needed to get you out of the way so that Jay here could save the people in that building,” Tempest shrugged, earning a look from the hero, he groaned, “He’s literally in my house - I don’t think him knowing the first letter of your name is a real issue, here.”

Roman frowned, “Wait- but-” He thought, trying to put the pieces together, hadn’t Tempest struck that building with lighting? “Didn’t you… mean to set it on fire?”

“What? No, of course not,” Tempest looked almost offended at the accusation, “I missed with the strike, that’s all.”

Confused, Roman looked between them, Viper chuckled, “There’s a lot more going on behind the scenes than you know, dear,” He said, gently patting Roman’s shoulder. He felt himself melt beneath the touch. 

“Like… what?” Roman asked.

“Things you don’t need to know about,” Tempest said, finally pushing himself off of the wall to walk closer. He sat back down on the edge of the bed and offered something to Roman, “Here, painkillers - if you need them - you took a nasty hit, they’re still in the packaging.”

Roman watched the both of them as he took the painkillers, examining the packet before taking one.

“I… owe you an apology for that, too, had I known you were standing there I would’ve made sure the debris didn’t hit you.”

It suddenly made a lot more sense why despite how destructive and violent Viper and Tempest’s fights were, no civilian ever actually got hurt. 

“Thank you for the warning, by the way, darling,” Janus told him, shifting to gently card fingers through Roman’s hair.

“Hm?” Tempest asked, looking up in confusion.

“He warned me about the fire… I’m assuming you used your power?” Roman nodded, “I’m sorry I couldn’t act on it sooner.”

“It’s… fine, I just wanted to do something - did everyone get out okay?” Roman asked.

“Yes,” Janus nodded, “I got everyone out unharmed.”

Roman breathed a sigh of relief, wincing at the pain in his shoulder as he did so. He looked around at the other two, before sighing and resting his head back against the headboard. 

“That’s good,” He mumbled. 

“You’re welcome to go back to sleep,” Tempest said, “As long as you eat something first - you’ve been out for at least twenty-four hours by now.”

Roman groaned, even though Tempest was right, he was hungry, and having attention drawn to that fact just made him hungrier. 

“Fine,” He mumbled. Tempest looked thoughtful for a moment, before nodding to himself.

“How about I order pizza for the three of us,” he suggested, “We haven't eaten dinner either - do you like pizza?”

“What kind of heathen doesn’t like pizza?” Roman asked, trying not to laugh. Laughing hurt. Tempest chuckled and pulled out his phone. 

For a long few minutes, they just sat there. Viper was playing with his hair and Roman didn’t mind in the slightest - aside from being a little confused - and Tempest was messing around on a phone, supposedly ordering them pizza.

Eventually, Viper broke the silence, “What is your name, darling?” He asked. 

“Oh- it’s Roman,” Roman said, “Roman Piper.”

Tempest looked up from his phone, eyes a little wider than before, “Roman Piper, as in - the singer Roman Piper?”

Roman was too flabbergasted to speak for a moment, “I- yes- yes, that’s me, you’ve uh- you’ve heard of me?”

Viper just hid his face with his hand and chuckled as Tempest lit up.

“ Heard of you? Dude! I love your music!” He said, “I… can’t believe I fucking kidnapped my favourite music artist.”

Roman couldn’t help it, he snorted, bursting out laughing, though his cheeks were red, “I was actually um- here to do a few gigs… but uh- I think I appreciate this, actually, saves me the hospital bills.”

“Downtown? In that old bar a few days ago? I was there -”

Viper tapped him on the shoulder, leaning in and whispering, “He’ll talk about you for hours if we don’t stop him, darling, though - for the record, your music is lovely.”

Roman blushed a deep red, hiding his face in his hands. Don’t get him wrong! He loves meeting people who liked his music, but when those people where the most notorious villain in the country and his arch-nemisis (Though Roman was starting to think something else was going on there too) who he’d been looking up to for yours it was a little bit different.

“I’m supposed to be resting, right?” Roman said, interrupting whatever tangent Tempest was about to go on. 

“Yes, you are,” Viper said, smiling. 

“Hm,” Tempest said, “I could put on a movie or something while we wait for pizza?”

Roman brightened, “That sounds wonderful - hm… would it be a step too far if I asked for your real names?”

“Hmm…” Viper said with a soft smile, “You can call me Jay, if you’d like, it’s halfway there - perhaps I’ll give you my real name in the future, darling.”

Unable to help himself, Roman grinned - the idea that they might not part ways once this whole ordeal was over was a lovely one. He was honestly starting to quite like these two - not to mention how curious he was about whatever ‘behind the scenes’ things were going on. 

“If that’s what we’re doing,” Tempest said, standing up and offering a hand to Jay, who took it, in turn offering his arm to help up Roman, “then you can call me V, for now.”

“Lovely, both of you,” Roman smiled, letting Jay put his arm around Roman’s back for stability after he stumbled a little to lead him out of the bedroom to a dim, cozy living room strung with fairy lights. It was cute and warm and safe - very homely and cozy looking - totally not what he would’ve expected from the villain had he been asked two days ago. Now it seemed… a little more fitting. 

Jay guided him to sit down on the sofa and V quickly joined them after grabbing a small stack of DVDs that he handed to Roman to choose from. He was delighted to find that they were all disney. 

After a long period of deliberation that had V chuckling and Jay sighing, in exasperation, Roman finally settled on Moana - which he handed to V to put on. Before long, the three of them were squashed together on the two-seater sofa, with Roman in the middle. Something in the back of his mind told him that he shouldn’t feel as safe as he did, considering he was in the home of a supervillain, cuddled between two extremely powerful people who he didn’t really know the intentions of. 

But despite that, he felt the warm haze of sleep drift over him as the movie continued and they ate their pizza in calm, comfortable silence. 

Roman was passed out on Janus’ shoulder before the film even neared its end.

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[autumnslance]

[Language barriers and the Echo Anon] You ever keep yourself awake at night thinking how they hand waved currency differences in FFXIV. Sure I’m fully aware that tomestones, tribal currency and other such things exist but the majority of things are paid with Gil. It makes sense in Eorzea but less so elsewhere. Kugane can be justified with being the only open trading port of Hingashi, Thavnair receiving trade from Eorzea and the First’s currencies being so tossed about post Flood they accept Gil now but would it really make sense in places like Yanxia or Rak’tika(rural)? I don’t want to think about how places that you aren’t supposed to visit again lore wise(Elpis, UT and the illusory Amaurot in Tempest) can accept gil as payment and or even trade goods.

I really don't worry about it, especially if we go with the idea of Gil being a typical gold-based currency just with a funny name.

It was also an Allagan thing, recycled by Eorzeans. And with trade with Eorzea being common, it does mostly work in the Source. Yanxia is Doma, more open to trade and outsiders than even Hingashi, and has been part of Garlemald besides - and the Empire has no issue taking Eorzean coin and probably has a similar Allagan-inspired currency that's equivalent, given how much else they base upon the old empire.

Mostly it IS a gameplay convenience even more than the languages so players don't also have to worry about the Gil to Koban exchange rate, but there's also nothing saying the WoL and Scions aren't dealing in Koban when in the East and the game just doesn't deal with that.

As for the First, that's just a mess of handwaving a world actively in the midst of apocalypse and maybe we'll get more details in the 3rd lorebook, but they seem to be having a "collapse the languages and currency down since the remaining population is so small" situation there, and everyone has to trade with one another for survival purposes; even the Viis, who start working with the Qitari and the Night's Blessed.

And while a barter system for the Viis on introduction (or even the Xaela of the Steppe) might seem to make sense, it also unnecessarily complicates and bogs down story and gameplay, so like a LOT of other things in the game, shorthands it to "they just take your coin."

Which I find more and more, people kind of forget, especially when criticizing how "fast and easy" something resolves, that in the scope of the game, pretty much everything is shorthanded to keep gameplay and story moving along, from conversations to rest periods to equipment acquisition to scenes we don't see play out between NPCs and to the vast majority of gameplay mechanics where they intersect with character actions and interactions.

FFXIV tries real hard to make some gameplay part of the world and story, like teleportation. Or they make bland excuses on why we can wander around the 3 city-states post-Banquet, or why the WoL isn't given a shock collar too in Tertium, or can keep visiting unique locations for specific storypoints like Ultima Thule and Elpis. And if we were playing a traditional standalone, single-player FF game, those situations would be written and played out differently.

But sometimes a lore lampshade is just a lampshade, and not all game mechanics are actually lore, but ways for players to fill in the gaps when it comes to Roleplay and Fanfiction.

EDIT: And here's a post from some other folks, with some sources, that barter wasn't as widespread as people think, most places - even remote and sparsely populated - had regular commerce, and currency of some form was far more common and far-reaching than might be assumed.

Remember, folks: Hollywood and other media rarely have accurate portrayals of history, and our own modern assumptions of things being different "back then" are often wrong. Street vendors and athletic sponsorships were common in Rome and "Tiffany" is a medieval (nick)name.

[talesofsorrowandofruin]

The Great OC Alphabet Caper: (Updated) Glass Edition

(Credit to @sleepyowlwrites for this idea)

For characters introduced in the other books, see these posts: The Unfortunate Moth • Houses Full of Deceit • Mine Eyes Dazzle • There Stands a Spectre • The Tempest and the Night

Updated information about the characters in Silver Glass, in alphabetical order:

Davit

Name: Davit Altounian (Դավիթ Ալթունեան) (real name), David Eames (Anglicised name + his adoptive parents' surname)

Age/Pronouns: 19, he/him

Brief physical description: Average height, black hair, dark brown eyes.

Brief list of defining traits: Has the most traumatic of traumatic backstories. Has done nothing wrong ever. Married to Alec.

Excerpt:

"I'm searching all the male servants' rooms," Yo-han said. He studied Eames' face. "Are you quite well?" Eames drew in a shaky breath. "McCullagh brought in some rabbits to make stew. Seeing him skin them… It reminded me of… I can't stand blood. It makes me feel sick." He certainly looked sick. He crossed the room and practically collapsed into the armchair. "Look anywhere you want," he said. His voice was muffled because he buried his head in his hands. He was trembling. Yo-han looked at him thoughtfully. He looked especially at his arms and hands. Eames was slightly-built, yes. But unlike Lennox he showed no signs of under-eating, so this was probably his natural physique. He was two or three inches taller than Yo-han. Could he have hit Mrs. Lennox with an oar hard enough to break her skull with a single blow? Eames had certainly hated her. It would be hard to find anyone in the household who didn't hate her. But Yo-han found it hard to picture him being strong enough for such a violent murder.

Trivia:

His adopted surname is a reference to John Eames from The Small House at Allington. (There are a lot of Anthony Trollope references in Silver Glass. More on that later…)

His real surname is borrowed from the Altounyan family (who inspired the Swallows and Amazons series). I chose this partly because Glass is set beside a river, and mainly because Wikipedia says Altounian/Altounyan is a common Armenian surname, and I wanted to avoid using a name generator (which might have produced a really unusual surname)

The denouement, where Phil and Co. vote on Davit’s innocence, is inspired by the Sherlock Holmes story The Adventure of Abbey Grange

He doesn't appear in Houses Full of Deceit, but he's mentioned. He probably will appear in Uneasy Money

Dzovig

Name: Dzovig Altounian (Ծովիկ Ալթունեան)

Age/Pronouns: 20, she/her

Brief physical description: Average height, black hair, brown eyes. Has a scar that twists up part of her lip.

Brief list of defining traits: A very important character, but she only appears in the flashback.

Excerpt:

Davit meets Dzovig in a park one morning. They stare at each other. He doesn't recognise her. She has a scar at her mouth, twisting up her lip to reveal some of her teeth. She had no such scar in the orphanage. He can see she doesn't recognise him — at first. Then she makes a noise like a wounded animal. "What's wrong?" he asks in Armenian, slow and stilted from disuse. He hasn't spoken Armenian since 1911. Dzovig stares at him. "Don't you know how much you look like Mother?"

Trivia:

Originally she was supposed to appear in the main story and would have been present during the denouement. This didn’t happen because I couldn’t figure out a way to introduce her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe in the second draft?

Another thing I couldn’t work into the story except for a throwaway line: she mutilates Çelik Bey’s body as revenge for the mutilation of Armenian women. This is inspired by a horrific photograph on Wikipedia’s page about the Adana massacre

She works for an organisation which is loosely inspired by Operation Nemesis

It's never explained how or when she got her scar

A detail that didn't make it into the first draft: she and Davit both grew up speaking Western Armenian, but she moved to Yerevan and switched to Eastern Armenian in the years they were apart. The reason this got cut: I need to do more research on the differences between the dialects

Çelik Bey

Name: Çelik Bey (Turkey didn't have surnames at the time, so this is just his personal name and title)

Age/Pronouns: 26, he/him

Brief physical description: Tall, black hair, brown eyes

Brief list of defining traits: Gwladys’s boyfriend. A politician’s son.

Excerpt:

Çelik Bey stared at Lennox, then at Yo-han. Yo-han had no idea what his own expression was — mainly because he had no idea what to make of the unfolding drama — but Çelik Bey didn't like it. He forced a laugh. "This guy's crazy. He should be locked up in a padded cell. You aren't here because you believe that story he told you?" Yo-han looked at him levelly. "What story?" He let Çelik Bey squirm for a moment before he added, "We share an interest in photography." There was no doubt about it: Çelik Bey looked relieved. "Then you're not here as a detective?" "Is there some reason I should be?" Yo-han asked. The silence that followed was the most awkward one yet.

Trivia:

He was originally supposed to play a bigger role; in the outline he was conspiring with Gwladys to murder Alec. This got cut, but might make it into the second draft

Louis

Name: (The Honourable) Louis Gresham

Age/Pronouns: 21, he/him

Appears in: Silver Glass (flashback and epilogue only), Houses Full of Deceit

Brief physical description: Average height, brown hair, brown eyes

Brief list of defining traits: Unwitting instigator of doom™. Davit’s friend. Briefly had a crush on Alec and a relationship with Leo. Provides helpful information when Yo-han is investigating the Hastings murders.

Excerpt:

The Honourable Louis Gresham was many things. According to his parents he was a hopeless spendthrift, according to his brother he was next door to an imbecile, and according to his boss he was the worst worker the foreign office had ever employed. He was, however, loyal to his friends. And when his old friend David Eames wrote to him to say he and Alexander Lennox were going to Armenia, Louis obligingly pulled a few strings to get their passports approved in record time. Why exactly two otherwise sane people wanted to travel to the middle of nowhere was beyond Louis' comprehension, but he was damned if he didn't help out.

Trivia:

Remember those Anthony Trollope references I mentioned? Most of them are around Louis. His first name is borrowed from Sir Louis Scatcherd and his surname from Frank Gresham (Doctor Thorne), his parents live in Framley Manor (Framley Parsonage), and his and Davit’s teacher is Reverend Grantley (Barchester Towers; I forgot the Trollope character’s surname is spelt Grantly and now I can’t be bothered to correct it)

He also provides a crossover with the works of P. G. Wodehouse: he's a member of the Drones Club, knows Bertie Wooster, and is probably a distant cousin of Lord Emsworth

He pronounces his name Lewis instead of Louie

Might reappear in Uneasy Money

Alec

Name: Alexander Lennox (Lord Kilskeery; technically his full title is The Right Honourable The Viscount Kilskeery, but no one has the patience to say that)

Age: 23, he/him

Brief physical description: Average height, brown hair, blue eyes

Brief list of defining traits: Is having a very bad time. Married to Davit (and Gwladys, unfortunately).

Excerpt:

Two cribs were placed side-by-side against the wall. A low armchair stood beside them. Alexander Lennox sat in it, reading aloud to two small babies. In the minute before he noticed Yo-han's presence, Yo-han observed the three of them closely. The babies, probably twins, were very young. He thought of his half-siblings as babies and decided these ones were less than a year old. They wore identical blue baby-grows. Both had brown hair. One was asleep. The other peered owlishly up at their father. Lennox was still abnormally thin, but he looked as if a weight had lifted from his shoulders. He did not look like a man whose wife had just been violently murdered. Yo-han looked at him and tried to imagine him swinging an oar at his wife's head. "'Then the magician brewed a powerful potion out of nine sorts of herbs which he had gathered himself all alone by moonlight, and he gave the youth nine spoonfuls of it daily for three days, which made him able to understand the language of birds. "'At parting the magician said…'" Lennox stopped. He looked up at Yo-han. There was no fear or hostility in his eyes. He smiled, the first smile Yo-han had seen from him that didn't have a bitter edge.

Trivia:

He was the first character I created for Silver Glass, and the rest of the story grew up around him

So what was up with his illness? Well, according to the outline Gwladys was poisoning him. I changed my mind half-way through the book, so now it’s ambiguous ¯\(ツ)/¯

He and Gwladys have twin sons. Their names are Walter and Theodore, though this is never mentioned in the book

As of Houses Full of Deceit, he and Davit and the twins are in Armenia

Will reappear in Uneasy Money. Helena the First and Lucy are his cousins

Gwladys

Name: Gwladys Lennox (née Whare) (Lady Kilskeery, not that anyone ever calls her this)

Age/Pronouns: 26, she/her

Brief physical description: Average height, dyed blonde hair, brown eyes

Brief list of defining traits: The Worst. The surprise isn’t that she’s murdered, it’s that it took so long for someone to kill her.

Excerpt:

With one of her fake giggles Mrs. Lennox said, "We both know what I mean. How much will he ask to keep those photos hidden?" Phil did some very quick deductions of her own. Fact: Mr. Seo had seen something incriminating last night. Fact: Mrs. Lennox believed he had taken pictures. Fact: she believed he was going to blackmail her. The situation was so absurd that she couldn't help laughing. Mrs. Lennox misinterpreted her reaction. "He's already given them to Lennox?" She ground her teeth and said a few words that were better-suited to a barroom than a drawing room. "Let me be perfectly honest, dear: my husband is a disgusting… Well. I'm too delicate to say the word. But he is still a viscount, and I'm not going to let him divorce me. If he tries to ruin me I can ruin him. But if he has photos? That's a different story." Phil made a note to ask Mr. Seo if there was any truth in the vague accusation. Lord Kilskeery had struck her as nothing but a very ill man. After five minutes with his wife she thought she knew the cause of his illness. "You're completely wrong," she said. "Mr. Seo has no photographs of you and he isn't a blackmailer. Your husband hired him…" because he thinks you're poisoning him "…to solve a mystery."

Trivia:

Originally she was meant to be a relatively innocent bystander who was killed because she witnessed the murder. Then I began to write, and she turned out to be Rachael 2.0.

Adding the general Case-files taglist: @akindofmagictoo, @sam-glade, @sarahlizziewrites, @oh-no-another-idea, @cljordan-imperium,

@mrbexwrites, @lightgriffinsect (Let me know if you want to be added/removed!)

[ayesakara]

Here's your Shizuo Heiwajima post for this Thursday afternoon.

The first pic is a fanart made by Hiragi-the-tempest

The 3rd pic, I believe, is an official artwork from the character song for Shizuo - which is actually sung by his Japanese VA Diasuke Ono. But if I'm wrong about the artwork, please let me know who to credit.

Edited to add: Thanks to @mocknerd, I found that the original creator of the Shizuo fanart is Mi-k.

In case anyone hasn't listened to Shizuo’s character song, here it is:

Tsugaru Kaikyou Fuyu Geshiki - sung by Daisuke Ono

It is so beautiful and soulful and sentimental, and it gave me so much insight into his character while I was writing my fic. There's so many layers to Shizuo's character. I just love him to death. 😍❤️😊

[amanda-melly]

Good omens s3 - my thoughts on the second coming - will Jesus appear in season 3? Will he come back as a baby?

[EDIT: I checked some material about the Book of Revelation and I changed my mind on some important aspects of this post - notably that the Apocalipse and the Final Judgment are not something that happens out of the blue. I thought that from one moment to the next Christ would come to earth, everyone would immediately be dead, the dead would rise and everyone would be judged. I was wrong. There's a whole deal about 7 seals and 7 disasters and 7 whatnots and apparently the antichrist is thrown into fire and bottomless pit AND THERE'S A DRAGON then it gets even crazier because the people who are judged as good people get to live 1000 years then something happens AND THE DRAGON IS SENT TO THE PIT TOO then more stuff happens then finally earth is definitely over and the good guys are in heaven happily ever after and the bad guys are all in the bottomless pit and flames etc.

This interview in particular is really funny because they even mention how the whole thing looks like an action movie.

Also, the number 7 and the tempest with the lamentations have all been foreshadowed in season 2, so I think we'll have some pretty crazy armagedon action in season 3 after all. ]

(original post)

I just checked Wikipedia about the second coming because I didn't know what exactly is supposed to happen. My main question was: is Christ born again to a human mother, grows up and THEN judges everyone? Or he arrives at the final moment of earth, and proceeds immediately to the final judgment?

The answer is: the main belief is that there is no resurrection of Christ, that is, in the second coming he doesn't come as a baby. Nor is there an inciting incident to kill everyone (like a nuclear war or something like that). Everything on earth just gets killed out of nowhere in a split second and without any earthly cause. And the dead rise. And Christ returns. Apparently the antichrist does something in the second coming but Jesus defeats him and proceeds to the final judgment.

So I'm guessing there won't be a baby Christ nor a resurrected Christ on earth when it comes to the second coming.

Averting the second coming, in theory, could prevent Jesus from appearing at all in s3 - or, at least, appearing in present day earth.

To be honest, I think good omens could hardly feature Jesus in more then some very, very respectful and "conservative" flashbacks, like they did in s1. Jesus could perhaps be shown as an irreproachable ethereal being. I don't think good omens could pull off anything remotely controversial regarding Jesus.

I used to think it'd be fun to have a "Christ reborn baby situation" as a callback to the whole antichrist baby in season 1 but I don't think now that s3 will involve babies.

I think it's better to focus on what Gabriel says - there will be a storm, the dead will rise, there will be great lamentations.

Also, according to Neil Gaiman seasons 1 and 3 are action packed, fast, intense, with a slow and romantic season 2 between them (also, season 2 was filmed during covid, and there will hopefully no such restrictions for s3).

I think there will be a lot of things going on in s3, in more places and bigger sets. I think it will have more adrenaline and more chaos. What exactly I don't know. But now I'm fairly certain it won't involve a baby Christ - but perhaps the dead will rise.

🤔

[whatwouldvalerydo]

Things I don't talk about enough - character edition

Characters, well built ones, are like people, fickle things ar times

You need to listen to them sometimes or they will stop listening to you

Sometimes you love other characters more, some you lose, some come back to you, a cicle really

Sometimes we don't listen to what characters actually want and it's a shame really

At other times we don't sit enough with them, so please do people, stories take time

Character sheets are fun, but I have a hard time connecting with creators that have just characters and there's nothing written for them apart from a profile. I NEED to see them interact, exist, do SOMETHING

Let characters make mistakes and make bad decisions, it builds them up, makes them relatable

Leila Hellebore has been absent most throughout the last months and I understood late that she has moods of her own that clash with mine

Jin Watanabe doesn't want to be in the HPHL apart from a few times, he’s more in tune and understands himself better later on in different eras

I am forever grateful that Angela King came back to me and I didn’t lose her after the OC breakup. She still fuels my soul, it's just my time that's limited

Talia Crane is watching me from the shadows and that’s a scary thought on it's own

Victoria Summer isn't as sweet and innocent as I believed and I am not mad about it

I honestly didn't know what to do or where Jonathan King would fit on the long term plan and he proved me wrong so many times I am ashamed to admit how many

I am happy Scarlett Tempest opened up slightly and I managed to tell her background story. I believe people understand her better now

Gareth Farr will forever be my misfit, my darling sass boy. He deserves a love story with a happy ending but I don’t know if he knows what to do with that considering all he's been through

[seldnei]

Taking stock of the writing: 2023

For any new followers: this is my annual post about my writing in the past year.  This is purely for my own mental health–the tag says “seldnei is tired of feeling like a slacker” for a reason.  Please feel free to skip.

So what did I accomplish in 2023?

Well, it was a helluva year, again.  We’ve acquired another teenager, with all that entails, which is a good thing overall but definitely added some chaos.  My boss retired earlier than expected, so day job went sideways for a while.  My cousin died, which was entirely unexpected.  My father died, which was both more and less unexpected.  Also the eldest BFF’s mom died, which was not traumatic for me, per se, but being able to spend a week with him was, like acquiring Q, a good thing surrounded by chaos.  Oh, and Z got his ADHD diagnosis, which has triggered some interesting realizations about the assumed neurotypicality of everyone in the household.  We are, in fact, that family who said, “But that can’t be a ‘disorder’; everyone is like that, right?”

I am exhausted, and my brain feels not only full but occasionally like it’s eating itself with self-analysis.

BUT.  I am here.  And I wrote things.

Stories/Poems/Etc.

Finished the second Exorcist story, and decided it did need to be mashed up with the first one.  I dunno, it’s still cuter than I like. 

Did the requested rewrite on the Teachout camel story, and got rejected again (I vaguely recall this as another rewrite request, but I could be wrong and can’t be arsed to dig through my email right now). I kind of think this editor and I have fundamentally different ideas as to what these stories are.  Keep this in mind as I get into future plans, btw, as it was a contributing factor.

Wrote some more TMA fanfic.

“And the Forest Sings of Secrets and the Dead” for FUCKIT, which prompted the best review of all time from Q: “What the fuck, Laura?”

“The Modern Eurydice: with Leto in the Mountains of Delos,” also for FUCKIT, which is probably my favorite thing I wrote this year.  I really hope there are more modern Eurydice stories somewhere in my head, because I loved writing this one and the first one.

Poetry:

“Elpis at the Farmer’s market” for FUCKIT

“4am, April 2023,” also for FUCKIT, the poem my husband wants to frame and put on the wall

Random bits and bobs in my notebook

I wrote three podcast scripts because I really want to make a podcast. 

Script one is a monologue type thing, continuing my explorations of ghosts and terrible mothers.

Scripts two and three are the first two episodes of a short series that adapts the not!Tempest/not!Mosquito Coast/not!Island of Dr Moreau thing I’ve been fucking around with for like four years now.  I think three more scripts and I’ll have the series completed, and then I can turn my attention to things like casting and recording and editing and hosting and posting and dear lord what the fuck.

 I started a bunch of other things:

The baseball/ghost romance novella, where I am trying out iterative outlining.

Some abortive attempts to find my way into my post-apocalypse cunning folk thing

A start and some notes for a gothic horror story that I probably will get back to in a while (watch this space in, like, three years)

Other Stuff

“An Oral History: The Dead Queen at 1223 Murchison Row” sold and came out in Artifice & Craft. 

I created my author website, which I’m still very pleased with.  Also did some blogging, but not as much as I would have liked.  Still, not sure when I had time?

Submitted things sporadically.

Kept up my morning writing routine, though it did have some disruptions here and there and the time got a little compressed.  But the biggest thing, I think, is that I kept going.  There was a lot of stuff going on in my life this year, and I wrote through it all.

Novel and Goals for 2024

Okay, this is where we get into the stuff that makes me nervous.

So the novel is on a second round of reading at a publisher.  This is taking forever, but the publisher has also posted periodically that they’re still working their way through subs, and frankly, I am entirely willing to let them do their thing because, as I said last year, I think this might be the absolute worst time to try and find an agent or publisher.  This is one of like two sparks of interest I have gotten for a book that a professional editor says is very good, so … yeah, we will let that lie.  Additionally, I’ve been reading some stuff from established trad authors who are also  having issues selling things, and I’m like … uuuggghhh.

Bearing that in mind … I’m going to start looking at and dipping my toe into self-publishing this year.  Guys, I am so tired of thinking about what an editor might or might not find appealing enough to publish; I want to write my weird little stories and have people read them.  I don’t even care if it’s just my friends and I only sell, like, three copies of anything.  I have long since resigned myself to never being a full-time writer, so while extra cash would be nice, it’s not something I desperately need.  (That said, I am going to be selling my work because it’s work, so.  But I have thoughts about discount codes and freebies, so we’ll see how it goes.)  I’d like to be able to hire an editor, commission covers, that kind of thing, though, so I’m also thinking about starting a Patreon to help fund those aspects of it, with rewards and all that good stuff.

So I can publish the novellas and short story collections, and if the publisher passes on my manuscript, I can publish the Teachout book and start writing the second one.

This is the scary part, though.  Am I too scattered to make something like this work?  What if no one has any interest? What about pirates (both cyber and sailor)?  Will I annoy people with self-promo?  Will people in my circle think less of me?  (Do I care about the people who would think less of me for doing this?) How will this affect my other writing?  OH GOD HOW DOES THIS AFFECT MY TAXES?!

I think I can do it.  I might ask y’all for cheerleading here and there.  I have a planner and Mr. Seldnei.

Every time I think about it and get scared, I think second Teachout book no matter what happens and I’m like … yeah. Yeah, I think I need to at least try.

So, goals for 2024:

FUCKIT subs

finish this baseball thing

Podcast

Patreon (?)

Self-publishing

AAAAAAAAAAA.

[bluemoonperegrine]

Silliness

@vicarious-rebel and I had (yet another) silly exchange related to The Characters that some of you may enjoy.

Said characters are younger versions of the Moon Knight system and Jack Russell in an AU where life has been a little kinder to them so that Vi and I can then be kind to them or torture them for our amusement.

It started when I asked Vi the system's vehicle situation since moving to San Diego. Jake has a taxi, of course. Do they have another ride?

Yes, Vi said: a mostly restored Pontiac Tempest. I voted for the 1962 two-door coupe because IMO the models later in the decade are ugly. Vi said okay. 😂

Jake's the car guy. Marc's not, but his boyfriend Jack thinks that he restored the vintage car.

This leads to situations.

Here's an edited version of our chat. Vi's text is black. Mine is blue.

Jack did notice Jake's car [in chapter 8], but he was too busy wrangling the climbing mat, being smitten, and not jumping Marc to even mention it.

He should ask Marc about it at some point just so Marc can have another "oh shit" moment.

In his panic Marc will call it by the wrong model name. Jack: It's a Tempest. I remember seeing that on the car. Marc: Oh, yeah. Right. That's what I meant. Jake: 🤦‍♂️ Idiota.

Jake is passively mentioning some stuff to Marc so he can at least try not to make a total fool of himself.

If Marc, Jack, Robin, and [her spouse] Bri go out together, the latter three could make small talk about the car. Marc can answer like 20% of the questions. Jake might have to front for a bit. At the very least feed Marc answers 😂

Jack asks Marc to look at an problem with his Bronco. Marc: *panic*

Jake: (sighs) Fuck it, fine, I'll do it

Jake: Don't let him pay for an oil change. Dios, that's so easy. Just don't make out with him while I'm trying to work. Gross.

Jake: Yes, I can install new brake pads. Tell him to make [favorite dish] for dinner. Extra spicy

Jack (to an acquaintance): Meet my boyfriend Marc. He's great with cars. Restored-- Marc: *stomps on his foot*

[black-emporium-exchange]

Pinch Hit #3 - kal_sharok - claimed

This pinch has been taken!

Please send a private message to this Tumblr account or send an email to blackemporiumexchange@gmail.com to claim. Since we're close to the deadline, this pinch hit will be due on September 1st at 9 AM PST.

Link to firebase: https://autoao3app.firebaseapp.com/#/BlackEmporium2023/user/kal_sharok

Letter

http://docs.google.com/document/d/19HqUwZqaSYG-oUTnI-gcHwfUjPv2jTpVCMHyFCV2raw/edit

Request 1

Relationship(s): Jowan & Female Surana (Dragon Age); Leliana/Female Surana (Dragon Age); Morrigan & Female Surana (Dragon Age) Rating: up to Teen Type: Fanart Prompt:

miss surana hours!! i would be absolutely OVER THE MOON if you used my saulė (you can find her in the letter!) for either of these, but i welcome your own female elven mages as well. TREATS: open to both art and written drabbles! multi-recipient (sfw!!) is also fine DNW: sexual, gory and otherwise traumatic content (as indicated by the unticked E rating box); major character death, generic player characters, crossovers with other media, major canon divergence & au's not set in thedas leliana/female surana: i get very emotional thinking about them. there’s this very bittersweet sense of unity in being robbed of something together — leliana of a life she knew, at the hands of a woman she trusted, and surana of a life she would’ve known were she not an elf AND a mage — and recovering what was lost through one another. i also love the precognitive element to it (leliana’s vision of her at the warden’s side) and how devoted to e/o they both are. prompts: divine leliana (softened), forehead kisses, homecomings, rose gardens morrigan/female surana two formidable women, not quite human by thedosian standards. shamelessly inspired by morrigan’s “of all things i could have imagined, the very last would have been that i would find in you a friend, perhaps even a sister.” morrigan’s somewhat troubled affection-navigating skills meet surana’s saint-like patience. prompts: sisterhood, turning men into toads together, cheek kisses, lessons in shapeshifting, shiny trinkets jowan & female surana circle mischief! i see their friendship as something that began rather out of need than out of choice — since choices within kinloch hold are quite limited — a pretence of mutual care-freedom until it actually became it. i’d love to see something playfully-wholesome or outright silly. prompts: circle life, daydreaming, silver linings, shenanigans, spells gone wrong

Request 3

Relationship(s): Female Brosca/Sigrun (Dragon Age); Female Cadash/Dagna (Dragon Age) Rating: up to Teen Type: Fanart Prompt:

dwarf lovers hours!! would love if you included my own ocs (you can find them in the letter!) in either of these, but i welcome all fellow broscas/cadashes. TREATS: open to both art and written drabbles! multi-recipient (sfw!!) is also fine DNW: sexual, gory and otherwise traumatic content (as indicated by the unticked E rating box); major character death, generic player characters, crossovers with other media, major canon divergence & au's not set in thedas female brosca/sigrun there’s something about outcast narratives i find simply irresistible. i feel they both have this penchant for tiptoeing death, trying to see how far they’ll manage to get and finding reassurance (and further footing) in each other’s embrace. prompts: bandages, candlelight, consolation, danse macabre, sharpening weapons female cadash/dagna utter havoc — now fun-sized! tempest!cadash highly preferred since i feel very strongly about two alchemist-adjacents being better than a single one (dagna being more on the conceptual side and cadash always happy to oblige when it comes to testing hypotheses). looking for something humorous and wholesome, with a touch of mischief. prompts: concoctions, mad science, tooth-rotting fluff

Request 4

Relationship(s): Female Lavellan & Male Lavellan (Dragon Age); Female Lavellan & Original Dalish Character; Female Mahariel/Merrill (Dragon Age) Rating: up to Teen Type: Fanart Prompt:

dalish hours!! would love if you included my own ocs (you can find them in the letter!) in either of these, but i welcome your elves as well. im also open to seeing interactions between my ocs and your ocs for the platonic ones!! i don't mind multi-inq au for those TREATS: open to both art and written drabbles! multi-recipient (sfw!!) is also fine DNW: sexual, gory and otherwise traumatic content (as indicated by the unticked E rating box); major character death, generic player characters, crossovers with other media, major canon divergence & au's not set in thedas female mahariel/merrill i’ve been told this one doesn't have fanworks in the exchange yet! as much as i enjoy the tragic elements embedded in a tamlen romance, i’ve grown incredibly fond of romances that have this radically optimistic, even in another time / someone will remember us (forgive me for butchering sappho’s verses there) quality to them. and there’s no better suited for that than merrill <3 i’d love to see them reunited after the blight (kirkwall does hide many a surprise after all). as far as im concerned, you can’t go wrong with flowers! female lavellan & male lavellan siblings and every endearing quibble that goes with having one. ultimately, a slice-of-dalish-life prompt (i highly encourage silliness). alternatively, unexpected meetings anywhere post-skyhold — both older and younger siblings are welcomed as they’re both interesting dynamics. i won’t however refuse a possible clan-mate interaction between your lavellan and my lavellan either! female lavellan & original dalish character i tend to put a lot of folkloric elements in my elf-design and i’ve always wondered how other people do it! the original character can have any role within clan lavellan (hahren, weaponsmith, halla-tender, apprentice etc. etc) or a different one (possibly in an arlathven setting, logic-wise but not necessary) or none at all (a dalish ambassador within the inquisition perhaps?) i would love if the character were female as well (i half-forgot to type it in during nominations). again, feel free to mix and match between your ocs and mine if you’d like too!

Request 5

Relationship(s): Female Cousland/Anora Mac Tir; Josephine Montilyet/Female Trevelyan Rating: up to Teen Type: Fanart Prompt:

female knights and their miladies hours!! would love if you included my own ocs (you can find them in the letter!) in either of these, but i welcome (preferably) warrior!couslands/trevelyans of your own (i'd be absolutely delighted if they were butches too but it's another personal preference). TREATS: open to both art and written drabbles! multi-recipient (sfw!!) is also fine DNW: sexual, gory and otherwise traumatic content (as indicated by the unticked E rating box); major character death, generic player characters, crossovers with other media, major canon divergence & au's not set in thedas female cousland/anora court drama ensues! the idea of a cousland who’s been enamoured of anora since childhood and slowly worked towards winning her favour (since anora was promised to cailan very young iirc) honestly lives rent-free within my mind. im partial to a queen consort cousland for queen regnant anora (to much of fereldean nobles’ dismay), but im also open to the idea of cousland remaining a warden. prompts: ceremonial armour, coronation, tournaments extra DNW: mistress plots with anora married to alistair or anyone else female trevelyan/josephine ah, the fairytale couple <3 a seemingly unbeatable force of a trevelyan… stopped dead in her tracks over the matters of the heart. it would be nice to see josie taking some initiative too, she’s antivan after all. by all means, unleash the fluff! prompts: courting, chivalry, gentle giants

[talesofsorrowandofruin]

The Great OC Alphabet Caper: Deceit Edition

(Credit to @sleepyowlwrites for this idea)

For characters introduced in the other books, see these posts: The Unfortunate Moth • Silver Glass • Mine Eyes Dazzle • There Stands a Spectre • The Tempest and the Night

Characters who first appeared in Houses Full of Deceit, in alphabetical order:

Ji-hun

Name: An Ji-hun (안 지훈)

Age/Pronouns: 30s(?), he/him

Brief physical description: Look at Lee Dong-wook in Strangers From Hell, imagine him in 1910s clothes, and you've got Ji-hun:

Brief list of defining traits: Complete monster. The sort of person who kills children, cuts off fingers, and hunts detectives across the world.

Excerpt:

"I was hired to kill that family. I found out they were related to you, so I thought it would be fun to hunt you down too." Yo-han tried to wrap his mind around this. "So you chased me for months… for fun?" An's smile returned. It was almost like talking to someone with a comedy mask tied to their face. "This was the most fun I've had in years. I'm almost sorry to kill you." His finger moved. Yo-han ducked. An shifted his aim to follow. The problem with actors was that they had an irritating tendency towards the melodramatic. Even worse, it was contagious. If Yo-han had been consulted, he would have asked for reinforcements before the nick of time. Unfortunately he hadn't been consulted. Fortunately the nick of time did just as well. Phil flung the dining room door open. She aimed her gun at An. "Drop it!" An started. He pulled the trigger. The bullet buried itself in the floorboard at his feet.

Trivia:

He started out as a minor character in Like Snow on Hungry Graves. I had to cut his subplot, then decided to reuse his character in a completely different setting. (How different? Well, apart from the fantasy versus realistic settings, in TCOSYH he's by far the worst character to appear on-page. In LSOHG, he would have shared most of his scenes with two characters who are worse.)

He gets killed off very abruptly for such a major villain. This is because of several plot changes. The denouement was supposed to happen in Scotland, for example, and the lead-up to his death would have taken an entire chapter

His surname is a reference to South Korean actor Ahn Nae-sang, and his personal name is a reference to Ji-hoon/Ji-hun from Psychopath Diary

Avington

Name: Timothy Avington

Age/Pronouns: 40s, he/him

Brief physical description: No specific description

Brief list of defining traits: Tries to start a war for fun and profit (his own, obviously). Arranged the Hastings murders because Mr. Hastings found out too much about his plan. Gets killed off in record time

Excerpt:

The Avington family had prided themselves on living in the most fashionable district in London. Unfortunately, that had been before people started asking awkward questions like "How could you afford those jewels when they cost more than your husband's yearly salary?". Now they had to content themselves with a modest house in an unfashionable district. Timothy Avington hated it. Something had gone wrong with his plans ever since Hastings confronted him. Hastings was dead now, but the bloody fool of an assassin just had to kill the wife and children too. Now the Japanese had lost interest in his scheme. His friend Jeong was suspected of taking bribes. He felt like he was living in a house of cards about to collapse around him. It was a sunny day in early May when the collapse came.

Trivia:

I got his surname from a name generator. His first name is borrowed from one of my relatives

The main change I'm planning for the second draft: giving him more to do! As it is he appears out of nowhere then dies

Mrs. Hastings

Name: Seo Eun-a (서 은아), Una Hastings (adopted name)

Age/Pronouns: 40s, she/her

Brief physical description: None

Brief list of defining traits: Never appears because she and her family are killed in the prologue. Yo-han's cousin

Excerpt: None

Trivia:

Another change I'm planning for the second draft: she'll appear at least once before her death

She's mentioned in passing in Mine Eyes Dazzle (where she's alive and well, because it's a prequel)

Mr. Jeong

Name: Jeong Dong-sik (정 동식)

Age/Pronouns: 50s, he/him

Brief physical description: None

Brief list of defining traits: Avington's co-conspirator. Tries to kill Yo-han. Never actually appears but is presumed to have died off-screen

Excerpt: None

Trivia:

His personal name is a reference to Dong-sik from Psychopath Diary

Another change I'm planning for the second draft: he'll actually appear. I'm hoping to have him and Avington both killed by Ji-hun, which would be very fitting (but hard to work out when they're on different continents...)

Adding the general Case-files taglist: @akindofmagictoo, @sam-glade, @sarahlizziewrites, @oh-no-another-idea, @cljordan-imperium,

@mrbexwrites, @lightgriffinsect (Let me know if you want to be added/removed!)

[miredinmiddleearth]

Rings of Power, Ep. 4 Review - *mega rant ahead*

*spoiler warning, though I don’t know the point of warning about spoilers in a show where nothing happens*

Thoughts on episode four:

1. Do I spy a sloppy mistake? Miriel’s outfits make no sense. Early in the episode, after waking from a dream, Miriel is seen wearing a heavily-ornamented green dress with giant pins on the shoulder. It’s stated that it’s first thing in the morning, and it is implied she fell asleep in her chair, not her bed. The next scene shows her back in that blue monstrosity of a dress that she wore the day before. Later, in the evening, she’s back in the green dress. This implies:

A. She sleeps in a nightgown that both features uncomfortable jewels and that she’s comfortable wearing in front of strangers. Unlikely.

B. Miriel re-wears an outfit two days in a row. A QUEEN? Just as unlikely.

C. Sloppy editing is sloppy. The scene back in the blue dress was supposed to take place the day before. 

2. Pharazon’s line about “cleverness is for men of small ambition.” Another attempt at depth that fall flat. 

3. Pharazon has a son now?! Just add it to the pile of discarded lore in the corner, I guess.

4. They did NOT! PLEASE tell me they did not just compare a visiting elf to illegal immigrants. Please tell me they are not making this fear of elves taking human jobs a real thing in Numenor. (Spoiler alert: they are). This is some of the sloppiest, most shoe-horned nonsense I’ve seen in an age. 

Let me explain: Men of Numenor eventually fall because they are jealous of elf immortality and prosperity. It drives them to be the best, but that only takes you so far. At the end, they’re still mortal. So they seek that which they can’t have, and it leads to destruction.

They are NOT afraid of elves moving to their island and taking their jobs. Real-world discussions can show up in fantasy, but they take subtlety and talent. These showrunners have about as much subtlety as the Witch King’s mace shoved up a human backside. This particular real-world debate has nothing to do with realistic motivations that would make sense in the world you’re stealing from Tolkien. Your pitiful little minds only look the more miniscule next to the genius whose work you’re appropriating for your own greedy desires, you slobbering little worm-brained sacks of meat. 

*deep breath to steady myself* Okay, back to reviewing

5. “Tempest in me line” literally gets Galadriel sent to jail, lol. More of Galadriel acting and therefore getting treated like an angsty teen/toddler. Literally sent to time-out. Also, more Halbrand teaching Gal how to have two brain cells. Make it stop!

6. That scene where Isildur is ousted from the ship. Let’s set the stage: Isildur lets go of a rope. Friends try to grab rope and fail. No one gets hurt. No problems with boat arise from this. Commander says he’s never seen Isildur mess up. Must have been on purpose. Immediately dismisses Isildur and his two friends. 

SO much wrong with this. 1. You don’t ask Isildur WHY he did that? 2. Absolutely nothing bad happened! He let go of a rope! There is zero reason for repercussions! 3. You purposely punish innocents, even though you know exactly who is to blame? Who writes this garbage?!

7. Intrigued by Adar. Would love him to be an elf mid-orcish transformation, but that would be far too interesting an idea for these writers.

8. One thousand percent positive that Theo has elf ears hidden up under that hair.

9. Rules of sound only apply when director needs them to apply (see scene where Theo hides in the well)

10. Is anyone else distracted by Disa’s struggles with the accent, or is it just me?

11. FINALLY we see an elf using elf-like abilities like incredible hearing. Place your bets on how quickly the writers forget elves can do this.

12. Yeah, I really don’t care about the romance between two made-up characters who have zero impact on the story. If you can’t tell if I’m talking about the two Numenoreans or the elf and the healer...yeah, me neither.

13. Conveniently cut away from Galadriel incapacitating a bunch of guards. Would take way too much work to make it look believable, and honestly, the one shot of her shoving a guard into the cell is already too ridiculous-looking.

14. Miriel states the other six palantiri are lost or hidden. Good grief. Okay, fine, ignore the lore that Elendil and his sons take the stones to safety. Ignore that this lore is upheld in the movies and now you look incompetent. But don’t have Galadriel reply that she has used a palantir before! How, if they are lost or hidden?

15. This show is incapable of SHOWING us anything. Cave collapses? We don’t see it. Dwarves trapped? We don’t see it. Durin risks his life? We don’t see it. Durin has a strained relationship with his dad? We don’t see it.

What do we get to see? Durin returning, everything’s fine, and he has a reconciling with his dad. I. Don’t. Care. Because. You. Have. Done. Nothing. To. Make. Me. Care.

16. Miriel is taking her people to help the Southlands. How the heck do they know the Southlands need help? Pretty elf guy and healer girl are only just now figuring it out. We’ve seen no communication with Galadriel about this. No pigeon letter. No vision. No beacons. We’re going to war without proof there’s a threat that exists? A vague Mordor drawing and a plan on a rag are apparently all you need.

Final thoughts: I’m back to being bored. Totally just remembered there were no Harfoots! Yay! And finally, whyyyyyyyyyyy.