#Don't attack I love dirk

[0l-unreliable]

Feel free to be as long-winded or short as you want with this; but can you explain Homestuck to me? I've tried many times to get into it, but it confuses me and I just want it in layman's terms please 🙏

So in the most boiled down, simplified, BASIC terms: Homestuck is a coming of age, saving the world story that gets interrupted by the narrative, the creator (Hussie self inserts so much he's basically a main side character that the characters can and do reference), timeline bullshit, and the introduction and subsequent abandonment of new plots/characters. Though it's technically a comic, the text alone could fill probably 3-5 novels. I'd also like to say I ONLY read the original comic and I only read it 2 1/2 times in the past 10 years

Ok that stuff out of the way here's as fatless as I can serve: John and co. (Dave, rose and jade) Decide to play a game called 'sburb', unknowingly triggering both the beginning of their adventure and the end of their world, while they navigate getting into the game (like, physically, since their planet is being pelted by meteors) we're introduced to some weird fuckin grey dudes (the trolls, unplanned and frankly maybe unwanted at the point by me at least) we find out they went through this same 'game-that-ends-the-world' scenario but with 12 different kids instead of four, which made the whole thing more complicated and dramatic (and here we're also introduced to the blood caste system aka the fantasy racism system, there are 11-12 different blood colors with candy red being the rarest and the lowest/worst). They make it into the game and are left to wait while they figure shit out and this is when they start communicating with John and co, since they're technically not in the same timeline as the humans they can jump around and pick any point to talk to them (ex: a troll can click a button and talk to a version of John already in the game then five seconds later click another button and talk to a John that has never even heard of the game). Unfortunately this is when the timeline/doomed reality shenanigans start. I will not be untangling all that, sorry. They figure out that they (the trolls +John and co) have to make a NEW universe out of a special frog and make plans to all meet. Dave and Rose have already managed to get to the same place the trolls are (a random meteor) but John and Jade still must travel to get to them, which will take 3-4 years (this was probably because at this point everyone has been 13 for the past 3 real human years and hussie wanted a time skip). I cannot stress the weight of the next statement enough: some bullshit happens. You meet 12 NEW trolls that are basically the ancestors to the trolls we know and love/hate. To me they don't super have a point, but this is also where we learn that every person who died and every version from a 'doomed timeline' who died is in fact alive as ghost in bubbles of space-time and can interact both with other dead versions of themselves and the alive versions of themselves when they pass through. Like I said. Some bullshit happens. Then..oh and then...we get shot both into the future, the past, and an alternative timeline. This time, it's with the ancestors/guardians of John and co. This is were Dirk and Jake are. (And Roxy and Jane ofc) At this point I believe hussie has majorly checked out. This new group of humans (the 'Alphas', named after their timeline) don't get much in terms of story compared to the others, but what we do see it that while Jake and Jane live in the good ol' current time of 2016, Dirk and Roxy live far far FAR into the future. A future where a tyrannical troll has conquered Earth and flooded it in an attempt to expand her watery empire. They are the last two people alive, made from the genetic remains of their timelines Dave and Rose. Their only hope of survival is the game, luckily they get in, unluckily Hussie has Checked Out. They are in a dead game and must wait to either be attacked by the big bad (of which there are at least three I'm sorry but mentioning their whole deal is....daunting. remember this is all still simple) and/or be pulled to the OG group of trolls and humans. Eventually everyone gathers up, Hussie retcons some shit through John, they fight all bazillion big bads at once and BAM. make a new universe in which all TWENTY of them are gods. The end.

This is as simple as I can make it based on how I understood it/what I remember. It's not called the worlds longest webcomic for nothing. If you made it this far and still think you may want to try again to read but don't want to spend a large chunk of your life reading a textual nightmare, there are videos on YouTube that read it for you that have gotten pretty far, I have left A LOT out.

HS is a super confusing, badly written, reference heavy peice of work. I think ultimately it's about how YOU interpret things and where you stop reading. It seems random, and it is, but Hussie manages to round most things out, there's a lot of characters that explain a lot of things very often. Sometimes you don't know What The Hell is Happening until 5 acts and 3 intermissions later. That's fine.

Thanks for letting me yap. Feel free to ask about more anytime either in dms or through asks.

[blaperile]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon (reactions pages 554- 576)

Wow, that was quite a heavy update.

I love that we finally got some insight into Yiffy's personality! Feels like she got a lot from Rose there, haha.

Too bad we still don't have dialogue from her yet though, I wonder when we'll get that honour.

But yikes, that tension between Kanaya, Rose and Jade. When Kanaya started putting on her lipstick I got REALLY afraid that the lipstick was going to turn into her chainsaw and that she was going to attack Jade with it. Good thing that didn't happen.

Rose and Kanaya's relationship has gone through a lot across both Meat and Candy!

What's drawing my attention MOST OF ALL though is that shot of Jade's captchalogue card!!

That's clearly a hand with stitches on it… which heavily implies it to be a STUFFED CORPSE. :o

We know Jade and her Grandpa had quite a history with stuffing corpses, so this immediately makes you wonder… whose corpse is this? And just what is the Homestuck Beyond Canon team planning on doing with it?

The most obvious candidate is Candy Dave's corpse! He recently died, from Jade's perspective, and she was most likely the first one to find his corpse. So if her old mannerisms surfaced again, perhaps she immediately stuffed him?

It's kind of a strange pose for this hand, but maybe his corpse is still lying in about the same pose Jade found him in?

If they all end up in a new SBURB session, does this mean we're going to get a new Davesprite???

And what impact would it have on Davebot, if any? Seeing as it's technically Candy Dave's consciousness (in ultimate self form) inhabiting the robot, would it be pulled from the robot into the sprite and cause the robot to explode (just like Aradia experienced when she went God Tier)?

Even the "WEE WOO" text beneath the panel is heavily implying this, using red and orange text, much like Dave and Davesprite's text colors.

An alternate interesting theory raised by abundantChewtoys is that it's Candy Dirk's corpse. I don't think it's very likely considering that they had a funeral for him and all, but it would be another notable corpse here in the candy timeline Jade could technically get her hands on AND it also fits with the text colors (Dirk's orange and Arquiusprite's red).

Finally another excellent point abundantChewtoys raised is that this update made sure to point out that Rose never buried her Mom. But then what DID happen to her body? Was it left on the Battlefield?

I may recall John or pre-retcon Jade having mentioned that they had a funeral for the dead Guardians on the 3-year trip on the Prospitian battleship? I might be remembering that wrong though. I can't find it with the search function, so my mind might be making it up.

But in any case, post-retcon Jade was ALONE on the ship, she had no John or Davesprite with her. So, knowing her family history, it's POSSIBLE she stuffed the corpses of John's Dad and Rose's Mom (and Dave's Bro?)… and that she still has those corpses with her?!

Anyway, most likely it's "just" Candy Dave's corpse, but it's hilarious to think of the other possibilities as well. At least we know for sure it's not a troll corpse considering the white human-like hand, hahahahaha.

I also just want to point out that this green captchalogue card implies this to be Jade's Pictionary modus… which would mean Jade had to DRAW the corpse to captchalogue it… think about that for a minute. Yikes. :(

It's interesting how in both Meat and Candy we currently have someone holding onto a dead corpse (Terezi holding on to John's body and Jade hanging on to this mysterious body who may or may not be Dave). Where is this leading? New Sprites in a SBURB session or something else entirely?

Finally I just want to talk about James Roach his newpost, where he hints one or more [S] pages are upcoming a few months from now!!!

I'm VERY excited about that, but also very curious what it could be about…

Ever since this new creative team took over we've got plenty of updates which seem to be building up to everyone heading to the Plot Point at the meteor. So are we going to get an [S] page featuring an epic confrontation between Jane and the rebels at the meteor, tying up everything that's happened so far in Candy and ending this "Act"?

Maybe that same page will also be the one to finally reveal what the Plot Point truly is. Is it some kind of portal (like from Hiveswap) to the Meat timeline or is it something else entirely?

My mind has been going crazy on theorizing and imagining where this could be going.

If everyone is gathering on the meteor and the Plot Point will activate then and there, what if it will somehow transport the entire meteor to the Meat timeline and have it go to Deltritus??

That would be an absolutely crazy but also amazing way to merge the Meat and Candy storylines into one.

Alternatively, I would find it hilarious if the Candy meteor transports to Meat Earth and it turns out that Calliope and Caliborn grew up there in the distant future (making it a combination of Candy and Meat, which is an appropriate symbol for both Cherubs).

[pedritapascal]

A good Agent, or a Good Fucker... to me

Chapter five - Decisions, decisions…

Pedro Pascal's character - Dave York - [DY] The Protector 2 / Equalizer 2

Dave York x Female Reader

Word Count: 5K

WARNINGS: {+18} Sex Language; SA; Fingers; Tongue; Nudity; Explicit Details;

A good Agent, or a Good Fucker... to me

I woke up with the sound of the alarm on my cell phone, looked at the time… 06AM… I was waking up at the time I was used to sleeping, because the time zone in Holland was still messing me up. Even after a week here, I still couldn't get my sleep schedule in order.

The first week was getting to know the team handling the case and my new partner, Matthew Guerrit, who was only 3 years older than me, but had extensive experience in the US police and FBI, in the CIA he already had 5 years, and had been transferred to the Netherlands for 2 years. Always with a smile on his face, kind and not at all paranoid, a huge contrast to my old partner… The agency here was much smaller, with few people, there was Agent Lucas Raymond, Agent Jacob Dirk and Agent Brigitta Simon, who - as she said herself - liked to be called Brigg and thanked the heavens when I arrived at the agency and she was no longer the only woman here.

This was my new team, because unlike in the US, here we didn't only work in pairs, only when there was a need or in smaller cases, big cases like the one I was in, a whole team was responsible, and when I heard that, it was my turn to thank the heavens.

In a week here, I spoke to Dave three times, and on the day I left, he called me while I was at the airport to say goodbye and wish me luck.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there at the airport running and trying to stop you from traveling, I thought it was too cliché and I know how much you hate romantic comedies… and I also understand that you need to go… But I wish you all the best in this new phase of yours, and I hope you solve this case soon, so that maybe you can come back to me… to our case… in the case. Good luck"

And the other two times, he asked about the case, if I knew where any documents were or if I remembered anything relevant.

Apparently, during the week that I was away, the case slowed down, even with the arrest in Ohio, we didn't get any leads to follow up and get to Richard Bayle… but now that was no longer my problem. I had to focus on my new case, with my new partner and a new team.

The case here was about attacks, there was a terrorist and extremist cell that had been causing explosions in specific places all over Europe, and the US's concern about this? Simple, they didn't want these attacks to reach them, and of course, fucking NATO, which was charging the US for its collective defense regime.

I got to the office around 7:30 in the morning, slept badly, slept little, my mood was garbage, my head was exploding…

"Good morning Rookie, what a terrible face, still sleeping badly because of the time difference?" - Matthew asked

I just nodded as I massaged one of my temples…

"Here, see if this helps" - handing me a double espresso - "I also took a while to get used to the time zone, almost three months of bad nights, do you know what helped me?"

"Matthew, if you make any unfunny jokes I swear I'll shoot you…" He laughed

"No Rookie, biritas" - still laughing - "take a day to drink with us, Brigg would love to have you with us so you don't feel so out of place…"

"It's not a bad idea, but when I leave here all I want is my bed, I swear I'm not that boring, I'm just really tired" - yawning…

"Tell you what, we've got a game here, and I think it's about time you joined in, you're already part of the team…"

"Game? Matthew, I want you to know that I always won my fraternity's games in college and I don't accept losing, I'm even a terrible loser."

"Then that's all the more reason for you to take part" - Matthew said, taking a seat on the edge of my desk.

"Good morniiiiiing" - Brigg had just entered the office, always smiling, I never understood why she was in such a good mood, but she made the atmosphere light, and it was a good feeling…

"Hey Brigg, I'm talking here, put the Rookie in our game? What do you think? She says she's very competitive…"

"Good Rookie, you'll love it, and that's our way of saying, WELCOME TO THE TEAM" - Brigg said laughing…

"Ok Ok, I'm already curious" - I put the rest of the coffee on the table - "how does this work?"

"Simple" - said Matthew - "until the end of the week, the agent who manages to gather the most leads on the case gets a night of drinks paid for by the losing agents, plus bragging rights, of course, and" - he tapped the table in suspense - "gets an extra weekend off…" I get up and reach for some case files…

"So get your wallets ready, because on Friday the Rookie here will be drinking on your tab" - laughing

I sat down at my desk to get back to the case, Lucas and Jacob arrived and caught up on the game.

In those hours when I was concentrating on being part of the team, I didn't even remember him, and I didn't question whether I had done the right thing or not, but every time I remembered him, my chest burned.

"Hey Rookie" I heard a finger snap in front of me, and I snapped back to reality…

"Is everything okay?" Matthew asked - "You're more airy than usual…"

"Everything's fine, Agent, I was just thinking about some things in the US…"

"Are you missing it?"

"That's the problem, I don't know if what I'm missing is what I'm missing" - getting up to get other files.

"If you want to talk, Rookie, we'll have a coffee and you can get it off your chest…"

"No no, I don't talk about my personal life at work, Agent" - returning to my desk, I smiled at the irony of my sentence, I don't talk about my personal life at work but a few days ago, my personal life was in Dave's lap… I felt hypocritical for a moment, but new place, new life, right?

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Friday came and with it the end of the week's competition, and I was disgusted because Jacob had won by one more lane than me, it was unacceptable.

"Jacob stole that I know" - I grumbled

"Take it Rookie, and get ready, because I only drink drinks over 30 euros a shot…"

We left the office laughing and complaining about the amounts Jacob wanted to spend, getting into the elevator, I had forgotten how good it was to laugh and have fun with coworkers, even before Dave, I went out very few times, always very focused on what I wanted, who would have thought that I would only last a few months in the corporation in the USA…

Whenever I thought about it, or thought of Dave, my head flew, Dave hadn't texted me for days, and I didn't know whether to be grateful for that, or to miss him, he still confused me…

"Rookie"

I felt a tap on my shoulder bringing me back, it was Matthew, again…

"Shall we?" He was standing there holding the door of the elevator that I hadn't even seen reach the first floor

It was the first time I'd accompanied my team to this pub, I didn't even know it existed, let alone that it was at the back of the agency, pool tables, dartboards, people smoking, classic 80s rock playing in the background, wooden tables and high chairs, a dance floor with a few lights. I think I've finally found my place in this city…

They went straight to a table at the back, I just followed them, apparently it was their official table, I settled into one of the chairs and the waiter brought us each a shot of rum… it was going to be a fun night and I was really excited.

After 8 shots, Lucas got up to the jukebox and put on a classic from the 90s, one of my favorite songs, Even Flow by PEARL JAM… I felt Brigg taking me by the hand

"Let's dance, Rookie."

"But you can't dance to that song, Brigg" - I laughed a little, but followed her onto the dance floor, still holding my long neck of beer that I was mixing with the shots of rum.

"We just swing Rookie, and feel the music."

I wrapped one of my arms around Briggs' neck and the two of us sang along to my favorite song like two drunks, jumping on the guitar riffs and bobbing our heads like two teenagers, laughing…

"Wow, I don't think I've ever had this much fun, I thought it was a mistake, but it wasn't, I did the right thing…"

"What mistake, Rookie? What are you talking about? You've got me curious."

"Nothing, Brigg, it's just me, you wouldn't understand." She shrugged.

The song ended and I went back to the table, fixing my hair and clothes, I was sweating a bit, even more so because of the warm clothes I was wearing, my cheeks flushed. Matthew came up to me with another beer.

"Enjoying Rookie?"

"Very much Matthew, thank you for letting me in on this" - opening the beer

"I saw you needed a distraction, sometimes you get lost in your thoughts."

"Nothing much, just some unfinished business that I've left behind and I'm worried about whether it's going to be okay."

"Some issues with work, or with someone?"

"Work Matthew, I always work" - drinking beer.

"You didn't leave anyone behind?"

My eyes grew distant for a moment, I took another sip of beer "No" I replied dryly.

"Then that's good because…"

I signaled for him to wait a minute because my phone was ringing, I stood up, moving away from the table and the noise a little, my eyes were blurring because of the alcohol, it couldn't be him, was I already drunk? It's not possible…

"Ready?"

"Rookie?"

"Dave?" - my body shivered at his voice

"What's that noise, where are you?"

"What do you need Dave?"

"Now to know where you are? Isn't it 3 a.m. in Holland?"

"If you don't tell me what you need, I'll hang up and go back to what I was doing…"

"Actually, I need your eidetic memory, but I guess that's impossible now, isn't it?"

"Can it be tomorrow? I'm really busy right now…"

Dave took a deep breath on the other end of the line - I could even imagine him smoothing his forehead…

"Sure, sure…"

"Good evening, Dave…"

"Princess?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds when I heard his voice calling me princess after so long…

"Dave," I said, my voice breaking.

"I miss you…"

"Good night Dave" - and I hung up

I took a deep breath, scratched my head…

I went back to the table and announced that I was leaving…

"No, Rookie, it's early, we'll be here until the morning," said Lucas.

"I'm falling asleep, guys, I want to see you hold out at the office tomorrow."

"Not me" - said Jacob, stretching - "I'm off, I'm going sleep all day."

"I still think you stole it Jacob, I just don't have any way of proving it yet" - laughing as I grabbed my bag and threw my suit on my back.

"I'll drive you Rookie" - Matthew offered

"No need, I've already called an Uber, it's coming, don't bother, just take Briggs" - pointing to the dance floor where she was jumping around to some music - "This soul needs to be guided home…" I went to the dance floor

"Bye Briggs" - waving my hand

"ROOKIE" - she hugged me, I wanted to say it apparently, but she was really drunk - "I'm so, so happy you came to the agency, for more female agents like us…. YAY FOR US WOMEN UHUUL" - Raising her arm

I laughed at the situation and at how drunk she was and got into the mood, raised an arm and shouted YAY.

My Uber beeped and I ran out of there, I wanted my bed. … I got home and just took off my clothes and put on a baggy blouse, threw myself on the bed with my cell phone in my hand, stood there looking at the screen, thinking about his phone call…

"I miss you too Dave"

I sent it as a message… honestly, I think drunks should have their cell phones blocked to avoid this kind of embarrassment, but now it was gone… yes, I regretted it the second I sent it…

Not three minutes later, my cell phone vibrated in response.

"Where are you?"

"You don't care Dave, you're not my fucking owner…"

"I didn't ask, idiot, I wanted to see you, that's all…"

"You're an idiot, you asshole, I'm at home, in my bed… going to sleep"

"Do you really miss me, princess?"

"After that little chat, it's all over… I've just remembered what an asshole you are… good night '

I locked the phone screen and tossed it aside, my head spinning, I didn't need to drink the last two shots…

My phone started ringing.

VIDEO CALL

Maybe it would have been better not to answer it, but I wanted to see him so badly, I sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard, with just the light of the lamp, rubbed my face with both hands to try to make it better and answered it.

"Hi Dave…"

"Wow, what's with the face?" - he laughed

"I'm fucking drunk, nobody looks good like that, asshole"

Dave was shirtless, leaning against his sofa…

"You look beautiful" - he smiled in a corner

"Aff, stop, what do you want? I can't remember anything about the case right now Dave… my brain is soaked with alcohol and…"

"I want you" - Dave interrupted me, and I blushed at his blunt answer, cleared my throat…

"So, what about the case? Did it go ahead? Have you been given a new partner?" - I tried to deflect

"It hasn't, that's why I need your help, but tomorrow, and yes, they've sent me a new partner, it's strange, but you're getting used to it, the only sad thing is that you're much hotter…" - he smiled

I put my hand to my face with my head back and turned around, smiling…

"Dave, I… you… we're over 7,000 km away and…"

Dave threw his body forward, his elbows probably resting on his knees, still sitting on the sofa, his cell phone down, giving me the impression that he was looking up at me…

"FUCK DAVE", I thought and bit my lower lip…

"Are you trying to seduce me Agent York?" - I asked, smiling

"Never, why? Are you feeling seduced agent?"

I ran my hand over my red face, biting my lip… looking at Dave through that screen, that neck, that mouth that he always bit the corner of…

"Maybe…"

"Princess, will you take your shirt off for me?"

I was miles away from him, but I still surrendered just looking at him. I threw my cell phone on the bed and took off my shirt, then returned with the screen while I leaned more heavily on the headboard, but without showing anything, he could only see up my crossed arm in front of my breasts…

"Let me see you princess…"

I shook my head no, biting my lip - " hum hum…"

"You want me to beg, don't you?"

I shook my head yes - "hunrum"

Dave took a deep breath, biting his lips, and moved a little closer to the screen…

"Please" - he whispered

"No…"

"I need to see you…"

"No…"

Dave drew in a deep breath and let it out

"Princess… please, let me see you" - he smiled - "I really need to see you…"

I lowered the cell phone screen a little more, taking my arm away, Dave mumbled something I didn't hear, but it sounded PERFECT…

I moved my hand down to my breasts, squeezed one of them from bottom to top and let out a low moan. Dave snorted on the other end of the line as he watched me. I squeezed and lightly pinched the nipple as I ran my tongue over my lips

"That's it princess, do them like I do" - Dave leaned back on the sofa with his arm outstretched, filming himself sitting up from the bottom, he was wearing those gray shorts from his gym days, I saw his other hand stroking his erection over his clothes and heard him moan low - "You drive me crazy princess" - He gasped

"What do you want Dave, ask me…"

He drew air between his lips

"I want to see you completely, take off your panties"

"This one?" - I had already taken them off and showed them to him

"Good girl, now come down so I can see all of you"

" Hum hum, and I'm not going to see you? That's no good"

"But you're already seeing me" - he smiled dully

"Not the part I want…"

Dave threw his head back and ran his hand over his flushed face

" Fuck, princess, look what you're making me do" - with a red face

"You started it, now you want to stop? No sir Agent York, you can take those shorts off for me"

Dave laughed with his head down, and his image shook as he took off his shorts as I asked…

"Okay Princess" - turning the camera back to the previous angle where I could see him from below, in his black boxer shorts, I thought about telling him to take them off, but the view was so perfect, I pretended I'd forgotten to ask - Can I see you now? - He asked as he adjusted his cock in his underwear

I just stretched my arm up and slid the camera down so that he could see me, arched my legs up a little and positioned the camera in front of me, still holding the phone, but in a way that he could see me. Dave moaned lowly as he squeezed his erection harder over his underwear

I wet the tips of two fingers and ran them down my body " That's it, princess, let me see you touching yourself, will you?"

When I get to my entrance and feel them rubbing against my clit, I let out a louder moan, and automatically close my legs a little, start massaging it, putting pressure on it with my two fingers, go down wetting them on myself and press my clit again, on the other side, I hear Dave moaning, he's pulling his erection down and up over his underwear until he lowers it a little, holding his cock at the base and squeezing it lightly, just looking at him like that made my legs shake. The head of his cock was already wet with pre-cum…

"That's it princess, moan for me"

My moans became louder but still muffled, Dave began to touch himself faster as he moaned, his hand with the phone was shaking a little, but nothing that disturbed my vision. I kept circling my clit while Dave moaned at me

"Dave, I'm so close"

"Come to me, come princess…"

He whispered to me as I touched my right spot, riding my own hand. Hearing Dave York moaning my name from the other side as he jerked off feeling my pleasure for him, my orgasm came like a strong wave and I could only moan louder as I slowed down my fingers trying to remember how to breathe, I opened my eyes in time to see Dave moaning letting his head fall back on the sofa, his hand slowing down, his chest rising and falling with his panting breaths as he came on his cock and growled his pleasure through his teeth, I salivated for him at that moment as I watched his cum drip down his fingers and onto his chest and belly with a few droplets of sweat that had accumulated. Dave looked at me, returning to his breathing, while I looked at him, biting my lips… I admired the sight for a few more seconds.

"Just a minute, princess" - Dave put his cell phone down somewhere, as I could only see the ceiling for a few moments, and came back quickly, just in time for me to see him wipe himself down - "How good can it be with you away?"

"I have no idea, Dave" - I shrugged and turned on my side with the phone closer to my face - "it really was great… but…"

"But it would be better with me there with you, wouldn't it?"

"No Dave, it's BUT I have to sleep, I have to be at the office tomorrow at eight, and it's already five in the morning… but it's always better when you're there… only you understand that…"

"Yes, princess" - Dave looked away - "I'll let you sleep, tomorrow I'll call you to help me with the case, okay?"

"Yes, but a normal call, no video"

Dave laughed

"Good night princess…"

"Good night Agent York…"

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Even though I'd only been asleep for almost two hours, I woke up in a great mood… as I got out of the shower and brushed my teeth with a towel on my body and another in my hair, I rubbed the mirror to remove the fog left by the smoke from the hot shower, looked at myself for a moment remembering last night and laughed, just letting a short laugh escape my chest… I rinsed my mouth and put my hand to my forehead, thinking… wasn't the idea to stay away from him? Okay, technically I am away, but… I needed some time to think… Anyway, I had to get to the office.

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I arrived a little late, but my team had just arrived…

"GOOD DAAAAAAY"

A SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH echoed through the room on everyone's lips.

"No need to scream Rookie" - Brigg, still wearing sunglasses and holding his hand to his head

"I'm late because I've gone to buy coffee for all of us, double espresso" - placing the tray on the center table while they were already reaching for their cups.

In the mess of getting the coffees, Matthew ended up getting mine by mistake, and when he tasted it he grimaced

"Wow, what kind of coffee is that?" I saw that it had my name on it

"Hey my coffee" - picking it up for me

"How do you drink it, actually, what is it Rookie?" - Matthew asked laughing

"Shh, don't talk bad about my coffee, it's unsweetened, with milk and a pinch of cinnamon, a perfect combination"

I went back to my desk sipping my coffee, the day would be long, but in the afternoon, I would talk to him again, and that made me smile.

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As I was leaving the building's garage with the guys, Matthew insisted on taking me to the car, I really wanted to believe that he was just being nice.

"Rookie, I was wondering if you were free today, I don't know, to see a bit more of the country, go for a drive… I don't know" - Matthew asked with his hand on the open door of my car…

"Aaaan, who's going?"

"Me and you, I wanted to show you the city, you've only worked since you got here" - he looked away

"I can't today, I have an appointment"

"Very important?"

"Maybe, maybe not" - I got into the car - "See you on Monday Matthew" - I made a point of pulling the door shut and he got the message

"See you on Monday Rookie" - He stood there with his hands in his pockets while I started the car.

At home, I grabbed a coffee and sat down to read my book, which I hadn't been able to get to for three days, and waited for Dave's call. At around 7pm my phone rang with his call

"Ready"

"Rookie, what's up? I need to make this quick. Do you remember the arrest in Ohio?"

"Sure, what about it?"

"In the evidence we took, there was a list of the possible buyers of the women who were there, do you remember any names?"

"Of course I do, but why don't you just look at the list?"

"What names?" - Dave didn't answer

"Dave, is everything all right?"

"Rookie, I need as many names as you can think of, now."

"Write it down then, Aaron Delaney, Briella Wilson, Amatto Bianchi and Rizzo Zanetti"

" Fuck yeah, you're a genius princess, I need to go"

"Dave, what's going on?"

"I can't talk on the phone, I'll get back to you as soon as I can"

"Dave?"

He had already hung up, my heart squeezed, it wouldn't be a big deal would it? He's an experienced agent and very good in combat, and an impeccable marksman, he's never missed a shot from what they say, he's a tactical expert and always has his Beretta M9A1 - his suppression pistol - at his fingertips. I took a deep breath, he would be fine.

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Three weeks went by, I didn't speak to Dave, just a few messages that made us sure that they were both still alive, but this last week, he didn't give any sign and my mind was racing, I couldn't call US headquarters just to ask about him… I texted Maggs to ask for the news and she told me everything that was going on, except what I wanted to know, if he was okay, but I think that if something had happened, she would have told me, wouldn't she?

I had to be focused on the terrorist cell case, but as well as being worried, I was disgusted because I'd lost the clue competition to Matthew and Jacob, JACOB AGAIN, how he thought he was winning.

It was Friday again and the score was tight between me and Jacob, I didn't even go to lunch because by the time I left I was going to get something, I thought the competition was healthy, we had already managed to arrest some people, but mostly people who weren't relevant to getting to the focus of the cell.

Two more explosions had taken place, one in Holland and one in Germany. The point was that the cell could be worldwide, connected by the internet, so we could never predict where the next attack would be. I had been looking at the photos of the last two crime scenes for hours, my head was throbbing, there was something there, I could feel it.

I picked up the photo of the first attack to compare with the attack now and noticed a drawing near the center of the explosions, I ran to the table in the center of the room where the folders and photos were, and picked up all the crime scenes that had taken place, checking them one by one and Holy SHIT, I found it.

I lined up the photos in chronological order of the attacks, and went through them one by one to confirm that yes, they had a symbol, it was a waning moon cut in half.

"Guys, look what I found" - calling the team to the table, I passed around the photos and pointed.

"How did you spot that, Rookie? It's very imperceptible" - Brigg asked

"Don't ask me how my brain works, I just knew there was something I'd seen before, but I couldn't remember where, and it was in the photos. Now we just have to find out if this symbol is placed before or after, if it's before it's to mark the site of the attack, if it's after it's to assume that that explosion was their doing…"

"I'll give it to Sylas now and ask him to check the street cameras a few days before the explosion dates" - Matthew left with the evidence in hand, heading for Sylas' office.

I got up and headed for the team board, picking up the pilot to write on…

"Hey Jacob, looks like the Rookie here is going to bankrupt you today" - making my point

"Calm down Rookie, there's still half an hour to go, it could still turn…" "That smell" - sniffing the air - "I feel a smell of revolt in the air…"

Jacob just laughed. … We arrived at the pub as usual, I already knew everyone at the bar, the bartenders, and I went in saying

"Bartel, make that double drink for me because today THE ROOKIE HERE IS PARTYING"

"THE Rookie WON ONE LENNON" - Bartel shouted to the bartender at the back.

" Finally, Rookie" - Lennon smiled from the back.

We sat down at the table, Jacob looking terrible, and I made a little kiss to him, rubbing my eyes as if he was going to cry.

Matthew and Briggs laughed, and I had fun, I loved those moments when I could get him out of my head.

The night was great, we drank and danced on the dance floor, even Matthew dared to show off his dance moves, at the table Lucas was consoling his friend Jacob, I might not have known how to lose, but compared to Jacob? No way…

I was already pretty upset, and it was almost two in the morning when Briggs took me to the dance floor again, my feet were already hurting and I was only wearing the white tank top I was wearing under my dress shirt.

Briggs danced just two songs with me and went back to the table, and I stayed there dancing alone until I felt a hand grab me around the waist.

When I opened my eyes, it was Matthew who, seeing me alone on the dance floor, had come to join me. He started dancing with me, taking me by the hand and spinning me around, and I laughed

"This isn't a waltz Matthew"

His hand tightened around my waist and moved to my back, and he pulled me closer.

"Hey what are you doing Matthew?" - I asked a little harshly

"What I've been wanting to do for weeks and you pretend you don't understand" - he moved closer to me, trying to kiss me and I pulled away, he held my face, I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back.

"Matthew, NO"

When I turned to leave the dance floor, I couldn't believe what I saw, I was drunk, but not to the point of hallucinating, it couldn't be, Dave was standing in the middle of the bar, with his black overcoat and his hands on his hips looking at me with his face closed…

"Dave…" - I whispered

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The tag list (always in progress), please let me know if you want to be added or removed in my future fanfic posts.

@hannahkatharine @drewharrisonwriter @morallyinept @simp4nott @star017 @survivingandenduring @popcornforone @perotovar @untamedheart81 @missladym1981 @yorksgirl @welcometodrama @blondebarbiiemiinajlover-blog @labyrinthofheartagrams @perennialdoll247 @jensensational71 @mrspedropascal5683 @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @pedroswife69 @welcometodrama @pedropascalsgermangirl @paanchusblog @stevie75 @leosilke @friendswiththemonster78 @vivian-pascal

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Chapter Six - Connections

[yandere--stuck]

Hello hello it is a mutual that has anxiety so I'm on anon. Love your dirk stuff so much and I'm having a bit of an anxiety attack rn and just thinking of your content for him makes me smile through the tears as edgy as that sounds. Thank u for the goods and the happiness. /pos

Oh no, I'm so sorry! D: I hope you feel better soon! *BIGGG hugs!* Idk if this'll help but I hope you like it and the rest of your day goes much better <3

---

Though some may find it hard to believe, Dirk really, really enjoys physical affection. He's incredibly touch-starved and wants nothing more than to hold you in his arms. Just cuddling up close to you, nuzzling against you and stroking your back to help calm you down. It's the least he can do. After all, he's the reason your stuck with him.

But if you don't like physical touch when anxious, Dirk doesn't mind talking you through it. Though, it may sound a bit stilted or robotic. Despite being a man of both words and actions, it's difficult to speak from the heart. He'll go over grounding and breathing techniques while he fights the urge to pat your hand or squeeze your knee reassuringly. Deep breaths, okay? Inhale for 4 seconds, now hold it for 7, and then breathe out for 8. You're doing great.

Or if you'd rather be alone, Dirk will allow it. It kills him to be away from you, especially when you're in pain. He'll make you something to eat or try to focus on his gadgets but he ultimately gets nothing done, too consumed by thoughts of you. He can't help but blame himself. 

I mean, he's trapped you here. He only recently allowed you to wander the complex freely without him being constantly at your side. He just loves you so much. Even if someone who loves you isn't supposed to be doing this. It makes his heart ache, but he'll leave you be for as long as it takes - or as long as he can stand it. Whichever comes first. There's nothing he wouldn't do if it was for your health and well-being. 

Well, everything besides letting you go, but Dirk supposed that went without saying. He loved you too much to let you leave. You were the most important thing in his life. Nothing could change that 🧡

[homestuck-fanauthor-coalition]

Appearification

Appearification (118982 words) by ProAtCrastination Chapters: 18/? Fandom: Homestuck Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider & Dave Strider, Dave Strider & Rose Lalonde, Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert & Jade Harley & Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider, Jade Harley & Dirk Strider, John Egbert & Dirk Strider, Jade Harley & Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde & Dirk Strider, Jake English & Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker & Dirk Strider Characters: Dirk Strider, Dave Strider, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Jane Crocker, Jake English, Rose Lalonde, John Egbert, Jade Harley Additional Tags: Focus On Platonic Relationships, Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Brotherly Love, Dirk gets Isekaid lol, Lil'Cal being Lil'Cal, Swordfighting, injuries from swordfighting, Concussions, Vomiting, (I don't go into detail on any of these dw), Anxiety & Anxiety Attacks, Child Abuse, I don't see nearly enough Strider bros being brothers so I was like fine I'll do it myself, hugs (because these kids need them), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Derse and Prospit Summary: Your name is DIRK STRIDER, and you are not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be HUNDREDS OF YEARS in the future living in your FORTIFIED APARTMENT while trying to survive POST-APOCALYPSE long enough to start A UNIVERSE-CREATING GAME. Instead, you find yourself TRAPPED IN THE PAST with no apparent way back, UNABLE TO CONTACT any of your friends, and your future SUPERSTAR BRO watching and judging your every move.

written by @pr0atcrastination , this is a really neat case of timetravel... or is it? Dirk sure thinks so!

[doodlingcrayon]

Best part of OCs is figuring out which ones would make amazing siblings despite being complete opposites on the outside.

The worst part of OCs is knowing their timelines are just shy of each other and they'll never have that sibling relationship in your canon 🥲 weh... Gonna ramble under the read more~

The idea that scruffy, shitty, attack dog Dirk would get along great with shiny, bright, frilly Akil is a source of endless joy for me. They'd be adoptive brothers if Dirk was born just a little later, or Akil a little earlier......

Akil having a big brother like Dirk, always on his side, unconditionally, for who he is and not what he is... Akil growing up just crawling all over Dirk like a jungle gym, showing him his drawings, his poems, singing him songs. Akil combing his hair and Dirk just begrudgingly tolerating it because it makes Akil happy. Akil teaching him new words and helping with his spelling...

Dirk would roll his eyes at Akil leaning into his necromancy side, camp and all. "I thought you liked pink and shit. Which is it?" But he and Akil would have a relationship where they actually talk about everything. Akil opens up that side of himself to his big brother, about feeling different and not quite fitting in anywhere, not really. Dirk knows that all too well. He gets him a better jacket for his performances. "This one'll stop a knife better." "I don't really need it to stop a knife, Dirk." "Yeah, 'til it does and then you'll be thankin' me."

Akil completely oblivious to the people around him when he's having a good time. He's notoriously bad at watching his surroundings when he gets too excited or involved in something. But that's what Dirk's for. Dirk's always watching. He never lets his guard down, and anyone watching his baby brother for too long, for any reason (good or bad), is going to get stared at until they scram. I'm sure Akil has fussed at him and stamped his foot over it, but Dirk just nudges him with his shoulder and ignores it.

AAAAH... I love them 😭 Sorry you'll never meet in canon........

[fanficfanattic]

Got tagged by several lovely people because no one knew I’d already been tagged. Because it took me several hours to copy/paste WIP titles/first sentences into a document lolol. Super happy to finally make it happen though @orbitalpirate @kvetchinglyneurotic and @jamietarttdodododododo !

Game: put the titles of your WIPs, reguardless of how vague or uninformative they are and let people send asks about them. Tag some people, maybe the amount of WIPs you have.

A) I’m big in Ted Lasso so I’m only posting the 120 for this fandom. If someone wants the list of 50 for Dirk Gently or 2 dozen for My Hero Academia; just holler at me!

Battler

Choir Jamie

Jamie v Nate

Back’s Against the Wall, Takes the Hit For Us All

Block His Number

Sam's Dad Take 1

You've Become a Good Person

Jamie Forgives Nate

Season 2 era Dani/Jamie

"Higgins ""well I think if you care about"

Playlist Fic

Keeley Got Pregnant Season 1

A/B/O: All Roy's Headbutts Damage His Scent

James Tart Sr Plants Drugs

Jamie to Ted But Kind of Everyone.

Memories

Dad Like a Hornet

Season One or Two

Henry Calls Ted So He Can Talk to Jamie

Bus Ride Nightmare

Soulmate AU

Beard

Jamie's Coming Out Movies Playlists

Decided on LCA Because Healing Broken Ribs

Jamie's Aunties

One of the Georgie Brings a Video A..

DANI sharing his father

Patty Comes to Dressing Room to D..

RoyxJamie wedding fic

JamieDaniSam

Roy Saying Jamie Threw Away His Career

Roy Realizes Jamie is Scared at the Gala

Roy Kent's Pet

Jamie Nightmare on Bus Season 1 A..

Trust

Why He Had to Push Roy's Buttons

Why He Has to Be Great

Tom O'Brien/Paul Reynolds

James Tart Hurts Jamie Before His First Game Back

Pussy

Will Sees Jamie Injured & Hears Convo With Dad

Jamie's Trent Impression

You don't know anything about me!

Simon Shows Up to Take Jamie to A&E

Georgie The Harpoonist

Jamie's Make-a-Wish kids

"Georgie ""I taught him to fight but not how to stop"""

Poet Jamie

Jamie being overwhelmed with pleasure

Amy from LCA comes to visit s2 Jamie

Dani starts dating Jamie S1

Jamie's First Day Back Had a Responsible Meeting with Team

Jamie's Mom RE His Dad

Car Park Kid Video

Mystical Team Building

Jamie Comforts Phoebe Gets Hit By Roy

Ransom Fic

Georgie's Video Memories

Jamie & Jan

Jamie flirts with Paddy on the Pitch

Show Up: Convo with Phoebe

Nonsexual A/B/O: Sam is Jamie's Alpha

Ted Lasso and Dirk Gentle crossover

Lads Watch Porn

James & Bug Attack Jamie

Collar?

Every Text is A Crime

Roy Asks Keeley for Jamie Advice and Doesn't Ignore It

Georgie Gave Jamie to James to Protect Herself

Roy Sees Jamie’s Ass in a Mirror and Goes Gay

Family Day Positive Georgie

Season 1 Jamie has friends visit

Zava Multi-Chapter

Jamie Thinks Ted sent him back b/c injury

Led Tasso

Princesses and Dragon

Social Worker Jamie

Coach Crash: Pinned

S1 Jamie, Simon Dies

Time Loop

1.10: Will tries to stop James Tartt Sr

S2 Jamie kidnapped for fighting ring

Ted Laskmaster

Roy's Extra Special Football Baby

Gordon Ramsay Reminds Jamie of Someone

Paddy Insta Live

Touch Issues

Georgie Turns James In Season 2

James Fakes His Own Death

Someone Talks to Roy About How He Treats Jamie

Sam Learns to Top Season 1 Team

Yeah? Me old man thinks you and he are just alike

Teaching Phoebe Art Fic

Early Season 2, Team Tricks Jamie

Ted DOES Go in the Treatment Room

Isolation

S3 Declan/Jamie

1.06 Jamie Collapses on Pitch During Cone Duty

"""Roy Won't Hurt Me"""

Jamie's Issue with Dead People

Family Curse

Sold After LCA

Investigative Journalist

Group Home

Belted

James Visits S1 Richmond

Dani Checks Treatment Rooms after games

"""I like history, it’s already happened so it’s easier to understand"""

The Stands

Keeley Teaches Roy How to Teach Jamie

Trick Plays

Pacifier fic

Fresh Back S2 Jamie Helps Ted with Panic Attack

S2 Jamie Saves Girl From Getting Drugged

1.06 Jamie Panic Attack

James Beats Jamie for Getting Benched

You Told Me You Saw It

S2 Roy Breaks Tartt Silence but to Yell at Ted

Mind Games

S1 Jamie Ices Out Colin and Isaac

[homestuckexamination]

Ab0ut Roxy being a trans man. I either strongly agree with it, 0r am 0n the fence.

0

BUT - th0se who say the Epil0gues sh0e-h0rned it in and it was 0never0 a part 0f Roxy's 0riginal character- When the last two letters 0f R0xy's name were 'intr0duced', they were described as ' chr0m0s0mal' - XY chr0m0s0mes are s0me times ass0ciated with male-ness. (C0uld that be F0reshad0wing 0n Hussie-s part?) And the 0ther thing I wanted t0 p0int 0ut is that R0xy had a crush 0n Dirk. . . Which might explain why he suppressed his trans-ness, thinking he was just making it up to justify being attracted t0 a guy wh0 is attracted t0 men 0nly. 0nlylater when R0xy is apparently 0m0ved 0n0 fr0m this crush is he able to c0me 0ut.

0

(I d0n't mean t0 create disc0urse, here, I wanted to share my take with y0u)

0

Okay, let me, say it like this: Complaining about Roxy in the Epilogues is not an argument made in good faith. It's fun to find ways these things shape the actions of the characters, in retrospect (Though I am certain Hussie didn't intend it, but definitely supports it), but don't waste your breath trying to find these links as some way to assuage the people who, at this point, would still say Enby Transmasc Roxy is bad.

I say this, as a trans woman, who not only loves trans gal Roxy, but whose name is Roxy for this explicit reason.

Any argument that Roxy's genderstuff being 'shoe-horned' or 'out of the blue' are just attempts at justifying their erasure. It's plain transphobia. And while I do sympathize with people who would prefer Roxy to be a trans woman, or would prefer not to engage with the headcanon, the outright vocal dislike or twisting the Epilogues into it being bad and negative or an outright attack on trans women with a different headcanon, are just looking for reasons to hate. They're, at best, being entitled, and at worst, divisive and hateful toward our own community.

I knwo you said you weren't here to create discourse, but like: Enjoy your headcanons, enjoy how you see these characters. But also know to identify that a lot of criticisms towards these takes on characters Do Not Come from a genuine place.

Alright, ramble over. Happy 4/13-! Couldn't be Homestuck without a little walk down Discourse Memory Lane.

[harmonyckrs]

Day 17 of Twisted Pleasantview: A Rare Vidcund W

THE PREVIOUS DAY

NAME: DON LOTHARIO

LIFE STAGE: ADULT

STATUS: ALIVE, FUNCTIONAL

SPECIAL NOTES: Contributed to slandering Pascal and ruined Nina's reputation. Cassandra is weirdly defensive of him and believes he can do no wrong.

---

Dear Diary,

The fairies were mostly kind enough to transport Nina's body back to our realm and apologized a couple of times about the "rambunctious robot that Chrissy built" and "how she really needs to keep that thing under control." Unfortunately they disappeared before Pascal and I could ask them any questions, and they never returned our camera.

We buried Nina's body under a tree next to Dina's grave, and Pascal placed a vase of violets next to her grave. While we were doing this we encountered Don, who accused Pascal of killing Nina and referred to her as his "one and only soulmate." I tried to ask him about it, but he fucking ignored me and started attacking Pascal out of nowhere. I wish I had a tape of that so I could send it to the Goths and ruin his reputation, just like what he did with Nina and Pascal.

When we got back to the Dreamer House, though, Nina was somehow there alongside Vidcund. When we asked them about what the fuck happened, Vidcund said that one of the fairies took pity and offered to make him a wish, which he used for a perfect resurrection of Nina. The fairy had to perform a ritual with two other fairies to do this, which resulted in all three of them passing out which spawned a portal to return home.

While this was happening Mr. Dreamer also came back, which made Dirk really happy. Mr. Dreamer mentioned some realm of violet grass and mint colored skies, and that he was also angry about what Cassandra did in regards to helping spread rumors about Pascal. I did not take him for the type of dude who would be on Team Pascal, but that's pretty cool ig lol

I decided to call home, and Mom ended up picking up. She asked me where I was and then scolded me for leaving home, so I decided to hang up and call Grandpa again. He seemed super excited and mentioned that both Grandma and Mom had returned, and that Angela had also planned to move in because Dad was making her take care of the babies. He told me to come home as soon as I could, and then we hung up.

Nina and Vidcund then proceeded to announce that they were getting married, much to the surprise of pretty much everyone. When I asked her about Don, she just said that he was now "dead to her after what he did" and that she's "not going to sabotage herself this time now that she's found her people."

I don't know what any of that means but I guess it's safe to say that her bridge with Don is burned. I then asked her about what she meant by "Don and Dina's plan" and she revealed that the two had only gone after Mortimer and Cassandra for the money, and that Dina had a plan to kill Mortimer in order to for her and Don take control of the house.

Nina theorized that either Mortimer found out about Dina's plan, or that Don threw Dina under the bus. She also mentioned that the two had asked her if she wanted in, but that she initially rejected it because she didn't want to kill anyone but promised to keep it secret before Don tried to paint her as a homewrecker to save himself.

*SECRET UNLOCKED: D&D'S HITMAN PLAN"

Nina and Vidcund decided to return to the Caliente house to plan their wedding while Pascal started musing about maybe trying to find love again. At this point, I figured it would be a good idea to return home. Everyone seems to be happy, and Dirk told me to go talk to Grandma to make sure she's okay.

I'm sure she's got a lot of interesting stories from her time in the other realm!

THE NEXT DAY

[mageofmindfr]

Maid of heart? And can a maid of heart put her splinterself into toys, plushies and any inanimate object?

I don't usually delve into the theoretical powers one would have during a game session unless it's relevant to personality things or is just something I haven't seen mentioned anywhere... but I can definitely try?

We're starting with personality analysis though, I'm still a mage of mind after all.

SO! Starting with the class, maids are a creation class. I believe I've mentioned that before briefly, but now I get to expand that. So, maids are a class that can make more of their aspect out of thin air, pretty much. Aradia seems to be so far the only player we meet that I can think of that therefore uses her classpect in a creative way; when dog-Jack attacks their session right before they win, she stalls him, giving her session... more time. Porrim puzzles me because I can't understand so much of the alpha trolls' session so bear in mind if her actions in their session completely contradict me it's because I actually really dislike most of the alpha trolls and therefore skipped most of their dialogue, apologies in advance.

So, what are maids actually like, then, as a creation class and as people?

Well, for one, maids are pretty goal-oriented people, but in a rather big-picture way. They want an ideal life for themselves and everyone around them, if they can swing it, and aren't afraid to fight for it if that's what it takes; however, in pursuit of a picture where there's nothing apparently wrong, they miss details. They're idealistic enough to think some problems are "less important" for the moment, and can be returned to when everything is "fixed" so to say. It's hard to get a maid to leave the theoretical perfect world behind, because they really want to make just that much of a change; and I'm not saying it's impossible, but Rome wasn't built in a day and the world can't be fixed by one person. I hear a lot of people say sylphs are healers, but it's actually the maids that want to change everything for the better.

Maids aren't afraid to take action, but also tend to turn a blind eye to problems they don't know how to fix. Procrastinators at heart, they want the change to be immediate and are intimidated by lengthy processes; but they're definitely determined. With people at their side telling them to keep going, a maid on a mission can make waves. They're people of very distinct opinions who voice said opinions to anyone willing to listen. They talk with a passion about the change they want to see and can be charismatic about it. Like sylphs, they're great friends to the people around them, but they also tend to be polarizing; you either love hanging out with a maid, or you can't be in the same room as them. And the maid won't change for you, because if their loud exclamations at the world are too much for you, whether you disagree or are simply intimidated by the maid's pure fiery passion for the topic... well, the maid probably wouldn't much like having you around, either.

So, maids are an acquired taste, and are fierce and passionate and very loud about their opinions. What about that aspect, then?

I'll be honest, last time I wrote anything for the heart aspect was my second post here and I was too nervous and tired to go the whole way and write the many paragraphs heart players deserve, so, here we go.

Heart is an aspect that regards the self first and foremost. It's about having a sense of self and experiencing emotions to the fullest. They're usually very emotionally intelligent people (Dirk Strider notwithstanding, but he's a prince so I suppose that makes sense enough) and should be willing enough to listen and give advice if they sense something is wrong. I think the heart-bound are very animated people; they're bright and tend to gesture wildly, and people notice when they're not in the room. Heart players are also very sensitive, and their emotional range is so wide I almost made a shrimp colors metaphor. They're really unique people and would probably wear that adjective with pride; they likely wear a lot of adjectives with pride, actually.

Heart players are explorers, they like to see and experience the world, but they also like to explore their own selves. They're not very good when it comes to understanding other people's thought process, and can thus be a bit awkward to converse with for the first time, but they are anything but shy about it. Heart players can be considered very impulsive, mostly because their emotions can sometimes overcome their logic; even those of them who pride themselves for being incredibly logical can sometimes let the world in too deep and interfere and get hurt, the moment something becomes personal.

Heart players are entirely the center of their own world, but not anyone else's; to their knowledge, everyone's center is themselves, and it kind of makes sense. You are made by the things you like and the people you know, and not those of any other person. They expect people around them to be just as driven towards self-achievement and understanding, which makes their first impressions be either intimidating or standoffish, depending on the mood and whether they expected to meet a new person or not; they just want to get to know you, and are surprised when you hesitate and not know some obscure thing about yourself that they know about themselves, like your favorite movie studio or dog breed or whether or not you like an obscure music genre. Obviously when such questions arise you have to explore both yourself and the world around you and form such views, who doesn't? (I'll tell you who, it's people who aren't heart players, that's who). As such, they're also very decisive people, who form an opinion and hold onto it like it's their defining characteristic; because every characteristic is defining to a heart player, and all those traits can only make up one person who cares so deeply about things like the name of a childhood plush or how many teaspoons of sugar you put in their tea, and that knowledge can make heart players very detail-oriented, in the way where they want to know everything about you that you'd be willing to tell them- it also makes them great at understanding interpersonal relationships between any two people; because this person is a cat person, while this other person actually does have a favorite dog breed, so they're going to have disagreements in a work scenario but be good friends if they aren't (I'm very much extrapolating; I'm no heart player, I could be completely wrong and hyper dog fans can entirely get along with cat people, who am I to know?)

... So, now that we've done both class and aspect justice, let's see how well they combine, yes?

Well, let's start with things the class and aspect have in common, the things most likely to be describing a maid of heart; they'd be a passionate person, who cares a lot about the world around them, but they might also get scared off if they don't know how to help a friend in need. They're idealistic yet charming in their awkward and sincere conversations with their peers. A maid of heart is true to who they are as a person and isn't afraid to yell it from the rooftops, which can be either mesmerizing or terrifying, depending on who you are. They're creative thinkers and explorers who aren't afraid to try something new and try to make everything better, though they might find troubles that would make picking themselves up harder once they fall, which makes them also dependent on the unspoken support of the people dear to them, as they are very in tune with both their own emotions and those of the people around them. A maid of heart with a good support system is unafraid of challenges and is energetic to meet new people. Find your true friends who let themselves feel to the fullest around you, and you will thrive.

... Now, that the analysis is all over, I do want to try my hand at theorizing about the powers a maid of heart might have, so, let's give this a shot after the cut;

Here's an obligatory disclaimer because the fun thing with classpect powers is that, depending on how you interpret your aspect and how creatively you think of it, your game powers can be incredibly diverse, and this is just my take on the powers of a maid of heart; if you have a different interpretation and can justify it well enough, who am I to say it won't work?

Well, as I've said in the personality analysis, maids are creators; they make more of their aspect where there is none. Heart players have a strong sense of self, which can result in splintering and making multiple versions of oneself, and are also in-tune with the emotions of themselves and the people around them. So, a maid of heart can make... more of themselves? I'm imagining either Aradia-bot style duplicates or some version of time-shenanigans, or maybe they're just actually multiple different people in a trench coat, what do I know. Alternatively, a maid of heart can intensify emotions, or bring new emotions to a person; imagine you're angry and suddenly that anger is being overshadowed by overwhelming love for your enemy, that would be a possible power for a maid of heart.

To answer the question of whether a maid of heart can put their splinterselves into dolls, I imagine not? Taking a preexisting thing and inserting part of your soul into it feels more aspect-manipulation-class, like knights or witches, than an aspect-creation-class, like the maid. However, you might be able to make more of yourself inside the dolls to begin with, or make the dolls when you make more of yourself automatically.

Again, this is entirely my personal interpretation of how those powers should work; the only things limiting your powers are your imagination and your interpretation of your classpect.

Hope this helps! ^^"

[coridallasmultipass]

Just personal venting.

I finally rented Gurren Lagann from the library bc I'm a baby who's never seen it, but the reason I've never seen it is because I know I'm gonna like it too much, and I'm not ready to feel big emotions. Well. This has gone on for years. Like, a decade if not more. And now I finally rented it, and I'm like gonna cry I'm too scared to watch it lmao. I need someone to hold my hand but not say a word and watch it with me. I can't fucking do this lol.

I always have a problem finishing things that give me big emotions. See: my unfinished playthroughs of Cyberpunk 2077. It's my favourite game ever and I can't bring myself to play the endings again. I haven't even started Phantom Liberty yet, because all the new little things added to the regular quests are giving me too many emotions!! Panam was in my fucking apartment!! I had to set the game down for days after that.

Same thing happened when I tried playing BL3. Had to keep putting it down and doing something else because I was getting too excited bc I loved it too much.

I fucking hate this about myself soooo much. I've literally been trying to watch GL for years. And I have it in my hands. And now I'm chickening out.

Like lol, 'Cori ur a fake Bro/Dirk fan, u didn't even watch the reason he's got those shades bruh ur fake. Fakeass fakey fake.'

I can't help it tho I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack. It's just some fucking anime. It has no bearing on anything. And I'm already overwhelmed just looking at the case lol.

I'm so terrible at watching things too lol. If it requires me to sit and watch the screen, I can't do it. Maybe I should try double monitoring and just doodling nonsense on my computer while I watch. Maybe that will help? But like I don't wanna miss reading the subtitles, so... you see my problem lol.

I'll watch it before it's due, but man, taking that first step is gonna be hard.

[bookwhimses]

Hi! Can I ask about the Disneyland AU and the trouble with mistletoe? (and, if you don't mind doing three, the holistic haunted house - is that the Ghosts AU? Vika sent me the opening script and I need to know more??)

Hi back at you! Yes, absolutely, thank you for asking, it makes me feel hype about my WIPs. I'll have to get back to you maybe tomorrow on the Disneyland AU one because going through the doc there are things I want to clarify first before I can figure out what bits would be good to share. I'll tag you in a post about it when I figure it out, though! The holistic haunted house is the Ghosts AU, yeah! The basic summary is:

Amanda moves to the UK when she unexpectedly inherits an ancient estate from a distant relative, taking her friend Tina with her. They both desperately want a change of scenery – Tina is on the tail-end of addiction rehabilitation, and Amanda has been stuck in the house and struggling with work due to pararibulitis. Amanda also knows that her brother Todd, who fell out with the family six years prior, went to that area of the UK last she heard, and might be somewhere in the village near the estate. She’s uncertain if she wants to reconnect, knows she hasn’t forgiven him, but also does miss him.

They plan to turn the house into a hotel or multi-room AirBnB, but when they arrive the house is massive in disrepair and the project is bigger than they imagined. After Amanda has her first pararibulitis attack in the house she starts seeing ghosts in the house, including what seems to be the ghost of Todd.

Tonally it's slightly darker than Ghosts but not to the point of it being horror or thriller, it mainly leans more towards DGHDA's level of sci-fi/fantasy madness. Most of the DGHDA cast are ghosts and many of them have powers to varying degrees of strength.

Dirk is a Regency dandy who can talk to and manifest in front of living people but can't do it on command. He was the only ghost in the house apart from Bart and Mona for a very long time and was very lonely, as they aren't super social compared to him. He is constantly coming up with elaborate explanations for his death but it's unclear how he died.

Todd is a modern day ghost and the most recent addition to the ghosthold. He doesn't appear to have any powers. He refuses to talk about how he died. Dirk is extremely eager to be his friend and Todd is weird around him and generally avoids him. This does not stop Dirk from trying.

Farah was a land girl during World War II. She can show up in photographs, and occasionally in mirrors, to some living people, but not all. She falls in love with Tina at first sight and then represses it strenuously. She died from tuberculosis while working on the estate's grounds farming for the war effort.

Bart is from an indeterminate time period; it's hard to tell due to how filthy she is. She can kill people, but she mostly doesn't. She spends most of her time in the underground levels or out on the skirts of the property and isn't very talkative.

Mona isn't a ghost. She's something else. Dirk calls her a "little soul". Farah calls her a poltergeist. Todd thinks she's literally a demon pretending to be a child Sally House style. Mona can take on different shapes both in sight of the dead and the living, can talk to the living at will, can move objects and affect ambient temperature and electrical objects, and once possessed a real estate agent. Dirk taught her how to read. She mostly stays in the attic. She terrifies everyone but Dirk.

There's also a bunch of other ghosts who live mostly outside the main house and like to do their own thing, like the Rowdies, a group of 80s anarchists who accidentally set themselves on fire while torching the north wing; Hugo, a soldier who accidentally shot himself while training (he doesn't have any powers but he claims he met God); the Mage, a Tory politician who died during a hunting accident while on a country weekend, and Panto and Silas, who live out in one of the stone gazebos in the garden and died while LARPing Romeo and Juliet too enthusiastically in 2003.

The Trouble With Mistletoe is a Christmas fic I started back in late 2019. I think it was one of the first fics I ever started and I've got a decent amount written, but the plot is convoluted/confused and needs some drastic reworking. The initial main premise is that post-s2 Dirk decks out the office to the nines with Christmas shit, including a piece of mistletoe, hoping to sneak a kiss from Todd. The universe decides it wants him to suffer (hint: the universe is Me) and things keep going wrong no matter how elaborate Dirk's machinations get. This sounds like a fairly simple premise, no? Not for me. Somehow I've written more scenes for this fic almost every Christmas since and I only get more confused about the A plot and the B plot, and whether the B plot should exist at all. You can tell by the first reference in the following snippet how long I've been trying to write this thing.

“Woah. Fuck, dudes. Whose kid got trapped in the Upside Down?”

This was Tina’s less than dazzling review of Dirk’s Christmas decorations, delivered without ceremony to the entire room upon walking into the office. Dirk didn’t really understand the question, and when he asked about it Tina began to explain something about a Netflix show about traumatised children and nightmare monsters until Todd and Farah, in what Dirk assumed to be one of those little coincidences he so often encountered in life, simultaneously burst into hacking coughs and flailed at their desks as if suddenly finding themselves trapped in an infomercial. Farah flung her arm out and knocked her entire pen canister off her desk, scattering carefully organised biros across the floor. Todd picked up a stack of papers and threw them in the air. Both created sufficiently consuming disturbances that by the time they had been seen to and Dirk had been satisfied that they weren’t having some sort of telepathically linked seizure (he did have some pretext for this, in Todd’s case at least), Dirk had completely forgotten about whatever it was that Tina was trying to tell him about.

Dirk didn’t really understand why both his friends had chosen to wreak havoc on their own work spaces, but he knew he was a little odd by their standards too, and it was Christmas, so live and let live.

Tina didn’t notice the piece de resistance of Dirk’s decorating efforts until later in the afternoon, by which time she had spent the better part of two hours alternatively lounging on the client couch and being told off by Farah, and lounging in Farah’s desk and being told off by Farah. After a particularly hard slap on the wrist Tina had retreated, with a somewhat desultory glare, to the kitchenette, at which point she had noticed the mistletoe hanging there.

“Oh, heyyyyy,” she drawled, grinning widely. “Nice.”

Dirk cursed her and her lack of subtlety.

[homestuck-iconz]

both mods ily pls rate my crackship (it is not a crackship but infact the in-sys polycule we have) jake <3 dirk <3 feferi <3 eridan they all love eachother very very much

mod dave had to write his response in discord, so let me copy and paste it here.

obviously this isn't attacking you as a system!

this is definitely a crackship, that's for sure. starting out with the most positive opinion i have, dirk and jake are obviously pretty canon and very fun together (the volcano kiss screen has been my wallpaper ever since i read that part in HS, so i'm obliged to like it.) then, erifef, which... while i'm not the biggest fan paleways, or pitchways, the way i could see it working out the most is flushed i guess? but still a no from me. then dirk x feferi, which... is a gay man and a woman the way i see it, so a polite no.

eridan and dirk... eridan is too striderphobic for that. eridan and jake, british person x british person... could be fun! jake and feferi, could be cool as friends but i don't see them anything as other than that. overall this is a 2/10 ship lmao, sorry

Now my [Mod Rose's] response!

Please note that, while I do understand you guyses context because i know yall, I'm basing my stuff off of cannon.

So!

Dirkjake - Flushed - My highest rank here too, I have a soft spot for it due to it beung my first ever homestuck ship HAJEHSJHE. Solid 8/10, They need soooo much therapy

Erifef - Flushed - I'm not a fan of Erifef, just full stop. I think I've said stuff about them before I just don't remember the exacts of what I said? They're sibling pilled in my brain. 2/10.

Dirkfef - Flushed - Okay but this could be funny with a transmasc Feferi I think. :D vs B| type beat. 6/10

Eridirk - Flushed - I've seen this before, not the worst Eridan ship out there but also I think if Cannon Eridan and Dirk interacted Eridan would hiss like a cat when they see a cucumber????? Prince moments. 5/10

Erijake - Flushed - Funny. I know they technically interact because of Erisolsprite but also. Missed comedic potential of having them interact I think. Their aspects are going to war tho. 6/10

jakefef - flushed - These guys are siblingpilled in my head too im sorry. im not gonna give them a number rating but rjahdhdsj.

[crazyexdirkfriend]

Hello brainiac. Its me. Here to marvel and indulge in your wonderfully written thoughts again. Opinions on the Hope aspect, and, if you havent mentioned it before, what's your aspect/class?

Brainiac made me laugh out loud for a while there because funnily enough, I'm a sylph of light. Annoying know-it-all, fountain of useless knowledge, and loves telling people about it whether they want to know or not. I'm self aware about it though which is half the battle.

You did ask though so I'm home free! And thank u thank u I'm glad you enjoy my Thoughts. I do need to brush up on my classpect knowledege in general but my opinions on Hope as an aspect basically boil down to:

hope, synonyms: faith, belief. opposing rage on our jungian-esque wheel of aspects.

How this manifests is ultimately up to the class as well, whether it's active or passive, how the aspect is ultimately used by a person, or imposes upon a person. I won't pretend to know very much about Eridan or Cronus in general, but my opinions on *pages* basically run on 1. pages can't gain their full potential until they "hit rock bottom" or "lose their aspect." and 2. pages are, at their full potential, an extremely powerful class but 3. pages are generally not a very active class.

so Jake only *actively* uses hope when all hope is lost (Dirk about to die by Caliborn's hand) or is being passively puppeted as a weapon by aranea. Jake however, may *passively* be using hope without ever acknowledging it or actively engaging with it, hell while probably deliberately covering his ears and going lalala powers, what powers.

I think Jake passively using his powers relies on that synonym concept: faith and belief. because pages are one of the most powerful classes, I believe to a degree Jake can passively change reality based on what he believes or has faith in. People treat Jake worse when he's already beating himself up, even if they have to real reason to do so- but Jake believes they do.

(side note: it's my opinion that Hope doesn't work on Dirk in this way, as Dirk is defined-largely through the Heart aspect- as unmalleable, and universally consistent. Jake cannot change Dirk's reality, Jake can't change Dirk's Heart)

Active hope powers I believe rely a little on "inversion theory" (if I'm remembering the term correctly from someone else's meta). I don't recall what inversion theory as a strict concept is, but I believe active hope powers often manifest as rage. Eridan's hope powers sure seem (from what little I pay attention to them) to be fueled by rage. Jake's attack on Caliborn during the claymation is described as a "temper tantrum."

(I think Jake has an interesting relationship with rage, and what he is and isn't allowed be angry at and when he is and isn't allowed show anger. Most of his anger is directed at Hal, who he believes doesn't have feelings anyway and treats as a "proxy Dirk," because he presumably, by and large, can *not* blow up at Dirk. Or Jane, or Roxy)

Also, while "if you believe in something hard enough, it makes it just a little less fake," is very much a page thing, I think it's doubly a Hope thing. At least for a Page of Hope

(End note, I think the classes we get for hope in HS are so diverse (bard, prince, page) that it's hard to get a read on the aspect in action bc a page and a prince are hugely different in presentation. This is largely analysis from me, a turbo Jake fan and someone who skipped chunks of act 5 on my first read. I barely know who Eridan is. So take it with a pinch of salt!)

[homestuck-fanauthor-coalition]

@pr0atcrastination

He will be fine. (One. Two. Three. Four. In.) He always manages them fine. (One. Two. Three. Four. Out. ) He's been a part of this routine for far longer than you. For 10 years to be exact. (One, two, three, four-) He can handle his bro alone. He's been handling his bro alone since he was 2. Maybe younger, at the exact age a child can hold a sword without cutting itself is unknown. You didn't have a proper concept of time when you finally managed to lift one of his pristine katanas. (One two three four one two three four-) You weren't paying enough attention. You were so engrossed in the info-gathering on Prospit and the conversation with your collaborator afterward that you didn't notice the slip of paper meant for Dave pushed under the cracks until it was far too late. Your only warning was the door swinging open with a burst of displaced air before his guardian barged into the fragile safety of your room in a cold, calculated frenzy, reaching for the stiff bundle that was your suddenly wide-awake brother. Despite you drawing your blade to halt him, he merely blocked you and knocked your weapon to the side, grabbing Dave by the scruff of his pajamas with his other hand. Your Bro weakly protested that he's up and there's no need to drag him to the roof, he can walk damn it, but in another flash, both of them were gone. You sprinted after them, sword and phone in hand, ignoring the lesson hammered into your brain by countless tumbles down the stairway that you're not welcome to participate in this kind of strife, but it was already too late. The door slammed into you, knocking you back with a harsh slam, and the sounds of crashing metal could be heard from the other side already in the brief moment of weightlessness falling brought on you.

Chapters: 19/?

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: Gen

Fandom: Homestuck

Relationships: Dave Strider & Dirk Strider; Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider & Dave Strider; Dave Strider & Rose Lalonde; Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde; John Egbert & Jade Harley & Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider; Jade Harley & Dirk Strider; John Egbert & Dirk Strider; Jade Harley & Dave Strider; Rose Lalonde & Dirk Strider; Jake English & Dirk Strider; Jane Crocker & Dirk Strider

Characters: Dirk Strider; Dave Strider; Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider; Roxy Lalonde; Jane Crocker; Jake English; Rose Lalonde; John Egbert; Jade Harley

Additional Tags: Focus On Platonic Relationships; Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider; Brotherly Love; Dirk gets Isekaid lol; Lil'Cal being Lil'Cal; Swordfighting; injuries from swordfighting; Concussions; Vomiting; (I don't go into detail on any of these dw); Anxiety & Anxiety Attacks; Child Abuse; I don't see nearly enough Strider bros being brothers so I was like fine I'll do it myself; hugs (because these kids need them); Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD; Derse and Prospit

[ivegrownwrong]

Okay I love Soul Eater and Homestuck so here's my thoughts going off of yours:

Karkat & Dave(scythe) pair: excellent. Karkat has not been able to resonate with people well and is insecure about it until Dave. He briefly convinced Terezi to try with him but they weren't a great fit.

Vriska & Terezi(sword) pair: excellent. Usually very good resonance but when Vriska tries to [make some bad decision paralleling HS], Terezi breaks up the pair and it doesn't get back together for a long while. Additionally, there is a period of time where Gamzee persuades Terezi to let him wield her and it's not healthy.

Sollux & Aradia(electrified whip)+Feferi(shuriken): the pairing is great but I disagree about the weapons! None of the three are guns focused and there's no reason they have to be the same weapon- Sollux isn't focused on symmetry, just 2s. Sollux starts out with just Aradia and is effective, but can't fully resonate until he pairs with Feferi as well. Aradia only becomes electrified after [something akin to her death and subsequent respawning].

(Notes on Feferi's weapon since it doesn't make sense on its own: she transforms into a throwing star that is controlled telekinetically by her wielder. She uses a trident in HS which is a throwing and stabbing weapon, Eridan uses a rifle which is a ranged weapon, and Sollux uses telekinesis to throw shurikens. They all have ranged attacks in common but Feferi and Sollux don't have gun energy, but they both used ranged melee, thus shurikens.)

Nepeta & Equius(gauntlets): okay obviously the right pairing BUT I think they should be switched, and here's why. Their relationship in HS is more focused on Nepeta pacifying (wielding?) Equius, and Equius' desire to serve fits him more as a weapon. A good translation for EQ's strength might be that his wavelength is really hard to manage and resonate with but he packs a hell of a punch.

Jade(rifle) & Roxy // Jade(rifle) wields self: I think they should be switched though. This pairing started as mere convenience until they realized that they actually work pretty well together. Jade was used to wielding herself actually as she grew up alone, and Roxy was used to wielding Jake sometimes but never hit a good resonance with him, especially after he paired with Dirk. Occasionally it'll make more sense for Jade to go somewhere alone and Roxy will make due with Jake or John.

Rose & Kanaya(chainsaw): excellent. Kanaya used to long for Vriska to wield her and Rose used to wonder if she'd ever find a good match for herself.

Tavros & John(*sledgehammer): firstly, I think John has a special ability to be wielded by pretty much anyone, and the size and shape of the sledgehammer changes based on wielder. Karkat does wield him a little bit in the beginning but any real resonance fails on Karkat's behalf, Vriska wields him for a time after she breaks with Terezi, Roxy wields him occasionally, etc. Tavros had a good pairing with Aradia before she left, and he actually wielded Gamzee briefly in a pinch.

Dirk(sword) wields self // Dirk(sword) & Jake(revolver): I think with Dirk's hyper-independence, he refuses to pair with people. He convinces Jake that they could try wielding each other, which somehow manages to work really well... for a few months. In a pinch, they can still work together but it's rather explosive to everyone. Jake, without many options, learns to wield himself and partners occasionally with Roxy and, unfortunately, Eridan. Notes on Jake's weapon: I think he can load different kinds of shots based on the situation, thus revolver.

Jane & Gamzee(various clownthings): I agree. I don't think this pairing happens early though. Jane is holding out hope to pair with Jake for a while, and nobody is very good at handling Gamzee, but for some reason they end up resonating really well.

Eridan is a lone meister lol: yup. Used to wield Feferi but their resonance gradually got worse and worse. He and Jake have paired up, and manage to work without damage, but no one is happy with that situation. If things get really desperate, *maybe* Feferi could be persuaded to temporarily pair with him.

it's so hard to design outfits like they do in soul eater because all of the main characters are dressed like they're main characters in a different show :,)