#explaining homestuck is like taking a stab at the gordion knot with one eye covered your hands tied behind your back

[0l-unreliable]

Feel free to be as long-winded or short as you want with this; but can you explain Homestuck to me? I've tried many times to get into it, but it confuses me and I just want it in layman's terms please 🙏

So in the most boiled down, simplified, BASIC terms: Homestuck is a coming of age, saving the world story that gets interrupted by the narrative, the creator (Hussie self inserts so much he's basically a main side character that the characters can and do reference), timeline bullshit, and the introduction and subsequent abandonment of new plots/characters. Though it's technically a comic, the text alone could fill probably 3-5 novels. I'd also like to say I ONLY read the original comic and I only read it 2 1/2 times in the past 10 years

Ok that stuff out of the way here's as fatless as I can serve: John and co. (Dave, rose and jade) Decide to play a game called 'sburb', unknowingly triggering both the beginning of their adventure and the end of their world, while they navigate getting into the game (like, physically, since their planet is being pelted by meteors) we're introduced to some weird fuckin grey dudes (the trolls, unplanned and frankly maybe unwanted at the point by me at least) we find out they went through this same 'game-that-ends-the-world' scenario but with 12 different kids instead of four, which made the whole thing more complicated and dramatic (and here we're also introduced to the blood caste system aka the fantasy racism system, there are 11-12 different blood colors with candy red being the rarest and the lowest/worst). They make it into the game and are left to wait while they figure shit out and this is when they start communicating with John and co, since they're technically not in the same timeline as the humans they can jump around and pick any point to talk to them (ex: a troll can click a button and talk to a version of John already in the game then five seconds later click another button and talk to a John that has never even heard of the game). Unfortunately this is when the timeline/doomed reality shenanigans start. I will not be untangling all that, sorry. They figure out that they (the trolls +John and co) have to make a NEW universe out of a special frog and make plans to all meet. Dave and Rose have already managed to get to the same place the trolls are (a random meteor) but John and Jade still must travel to get to them, which will take 3-4 years (this was probably because at this point everyone has been 13 for the past 3 real human years and hussie wanted a time skip). I cannot stress the weight of the next statement enough: some bullshit happens. You meet 12 NEW trolls that are basically the ancestors to the trolls we know and love/hate. To me they don't super have a point, but this is also where we learn that every person who died and every version from a 'doomed timeline' who died is in fact alive as ghost in bubbles of space-time and can interact both with other dead versions of themselves and the alive versions of themselves when they pass through. Like I said. Some bullshit happens. Then..oh and then...we get shot both into the future, the past, and an alternative timeline. This time, it's with the ancestors/guardians of John and co. This is were Dirk and Jake are. (And Roxy and Jane ofc) At this point I believe hussie has majorly checked out. This new group of humans (the 'Alphas', named after their timeline) don't get much in terms of story compared to the others, but what we do see it that while Jake and Jane live in the good ol' current time of 2016, Dirk and Roxy live far far FAR into the future. A future where a tyrannical troll has conquered Earth and flooded it in an attempt to expand her watery empire. They are the last two people alive, made from the genetic remains of their timelines Dave and Rose. Their only hope of survival is the game, luckily they get in, unluckily Hussie has Checked Out. They are in a dead game and must wait to either be attacked by the big bad (of which there are at least three I'm sorry but mentioning their whole deal is....daunting. remember this is all still simple) and/or be pulled to the OG group of trolls and humans. Eventually everyone gathers up, Hussie retcons some shit through John, they fight all bazillion big bads at once and BAM. make a new universe in which all TWENTY of them are gods. The end.

This is as simple as I can make it based on how I understood it/what I remember. It's not called the worlds longest webcomic for nothing. If you made it this far and still think you may want to try again to read but don't want to spend a large chunk of your life reading a textual nightmare, there are videos on YouTube that read it for you that have gotten pretty far, I have left A LOT out.

HS is a super confusing, badly written, reference heavy peice of work. I think ultimately it's about how YOU interpret things and where you stop reading. It seems random, and it is, but Hussie manages to round most things out, there's a lot of characters that explain a lot of things very often. Sometimes you don't know What The Hell is Happening until 5 acts and 3 intermissions later. That's fine.

Thanks for letting me yap. Feel free to ask about more anytime either in dms or through asks.