#Do something stupid. Feels like everyone else have done so... Ive never done something ... Stupid. Irresponsible etc.

[mrfoox]

I've had two drinks and like... Two shots and Oliver was not a fan of my adventures

[oceanofsinners]

“They love me, they love me not.”

Yan!Pervy cupid x gn innocent succubi/incubi reader ♥︎

[mdni, or do, i don't care enough to block y'all tbh. NSFW, first time in a while writing it so apologies ack. tw/cw: mentions of violence, blood, religious stuff kinda. lmk if i have to add smth else too! also?? sorry for disappearing i got stuck in the hospital, ouchies!! also holy fuck this is 2.k words ive never wrote that much...]

Nova wasn't...normal. Well, to be fair, it wasn't their fault he was created this way. It was Father’s fault.

 

Being born a Cupid, but being unable to feel most emotions, or even love. How ridiculous. Pathetic, even. Compared to their brothers and sisters, he was useless.

 

They grew up alone and isolated, no one wanted a Cherub whose expression was always bored. No one wanted a Cherub who never wanted to play with the others or found joy in small things. 

 

He grew up in one of the few orphanages in Paradise, some human souls for foster parents who weren't able to have kids themselves, happy to have any.

 

Angels were meant to be cheerful and optimistic, they were neither. Many thought he'd grow up to be a Guardian Angel or an Archangel. 

 

Never a Cupid. Especially a Love Cupid. Maybe a Heartbreak Cupid, even Erotic Love Cupid, but Love? They didn't even truly understand what the word meant. Or so everyone thought. 

 

Angels were meant to be non-judgemental. Meant to be “kind” and believe in everyone. Angel’s are not. Angels are just as judgemental, perhaps even more than humans. 

 

The other Cupids always watched him in disdain when they were training, he always dragged their class down, being worse at it than most of the others.

 

But then, in high school, something changed. See, Angels and Demons typically don't like each other. 

 

Angels hate Demons for falling, and Demons hate the lies Angels say. But in the end, they are one and the same. 

 

Only one’s halo is broken, the other’s is perfectly fine. No, not halo, horns. If there was one thing special about Nova, it was their “halo“, or horns. 

 

They were a beautiful baby pink color that matched the pearly white hair that reached his shoulders, with pretty gold and bright pink streaks, that made their purple eyes pop. 

 

Even though Nova couldn't feel anything, he was beautiful. Freckles were made in the forms of constellations scattered over brown skin, and white eyelashes that looked like snowflakes. 

 

They were beautiful. Ethereal. An Angel, through and through. He never imagined they'd fall willingly, even hating the thought. 

 

But, maybe for one person, he would. That person is YOU. 

 

The Demons and Angels made an agreement, there was an academy built, for both Angels and Demons of all ranks and backgrounds, a sort of truce.

 

Nova was one of the angels chosen, amongst many others. They didn't care about it, just wanting it to be done already. To get the embarrassment over. 

 

Days turned into weeks of staying in the shadows, going to boring classes, eating lunch in empty classrooms, studying all night, and repeat. 

 

It was boring, but it's not like Nova had anything he could do about it. Another day of stupid school, of stupid wars between haughty Angels and Demons who liked fighting. 

 

Except this time, Nova got caught in the crossfire. Cuts covered their skin, golden blood leaking down and ruining his beautiful clothes.

 

One of the Demons had them pushed up against a wall, claws to his throat, and they stood there blank gaze. Nova raised a brow as the Demon got pushed, and went to walk away. 

 

Then YOU came. You seemed confused at the fight, trying to make peace despite it being fruitless. You paused at the sight of him, before gasping and quickly running over. 

 

“Ah, you're bleeding! Gosh, I told these dummies to stop fighting, they just don't listen!” You frowned, trying to appear upset but you just looked like a kicked puppy with a pout. 

 

You pulled them off to the side, reaching inside a black messenger back absolutely covered in cutesy stickers and pins from different bands. 

 

Nova took the time to look at you, really look at you. It was strange. Why was his heart beating so fast? Wings fluffing up? You were beautiful. One of the prettiest Demons they’d ever seen. 

 

That's what clued him into what you were, an Incubus or Succubus. Really, there was no difference between the two except for their behavior. Incubus tended to be more assertive, and Succubus more passive. 

 

Before Nova could think about anything else, you pulled a first aid kit out, opened it up, and pulled a pack of bandaids out. 

 

You started disinfecting their wounds, before putting those cute, colored bandaids on each wound.

 

Nova looks silly like this, mostly black, Gothic ensemble, even with his pastel eyes and horns, they still looked less like an Angel and more like a Demon. 

 

And there you were, broken halo turned into a pair of horns, dressed in cutesy clothes, putting brightly colored bandaids on the mean-looking Cupid. 

 

With every fleeting touch, Nova felt embers light under his skin, his cheeks warming even further. ‘...What...What is this feeling? I don't...’

 

Before Nova even realized it, they were leaning even further into your cold, almost dead touch. You paused, before giggling and roping your arms around his shoulders. 

 

“Wow! You're super friendly, I like you, your hair too, it's super duper long! What's your name?” You asked, playing with his long hair, curling it around your fingers.

 

“Casanova. But people call me Nova, usually. What's yours?” Nova looked up at you, a lovesick hazy look in his purple eyes, heart pupils. How amusing. A Cupid falling for an Incubi/Succubi. What are the odds? 

 

“Oh! Right! It's—” Before you can finish, a teacher begins herding everyone to their classes. Nova’s pissed —‘How...Why do I feel so angry?’— but goes along with it, delighted to see you wave with a sheepish grin, fangs showing. 

 

Nova doesn't know your name. But he doesn't need to. You're his angel in their mind, the one and only made for him. 

 

Very quickly you become a prominent part of his life, their parents even allowing you to stay at their house while the program goes on, happy to see their child so happy for once. 

 

With so many emotions suddenly hitting him all at once, it's no shock they fall harder than he should, becoming obsessed fast and hard. 

Nova begins realizing things they'd never realized before. The curves of your body. Those soft eyes he wants to see sobbing from pleasure. Those lips open, gasping their name—

 

But it ends far too soon. The program is forced to close, and you're gone just as fast as you came. Nova hates how empty he feels when you're gone, wondering how he ever lived without you.

 

He feels cold inside, a part of him disappearing with you. Something they can NEVER get back. He tries to be normal, smiling when he should, crying when he should, just be normal. 

 

It's easy for a while. To pretend. No, BE normal. Far too soon, or maybe far too late, he graduates high school. Then college. 

 

Years fly by, “friends” come and go, lovers he didn't give a shit about disappear after they get bored, and more and more blood then just his is on their hands. 

 

But you weren't always gone. You'd sneak out of hell and sneak onto paradise sometimes, and hang out with them. But it wasn't enough. He wanted all of your time and attention on him. Just once, they want someone to be there as a constant. 

 

Eventually he lands a job at Soulmates Corp. A Cupid work place, and he starts working. It's actually pretty simple and interesting. Sure, they don't use bow and arrows — usually. But being able to look through humans lives, to choose who they fall for. It's interesting. 

 

And then, one night, you innocently invite him to a club in hell. They instantly agree, after all, it's YOU. His angel, their savior, his LIFE LINE. Their EVERYTHING. 

 

Funnily enough, over the years the two swapped clothing styles. Nova wore more cutesy, sweet, pastel color clothes, and you wore darker, more “sexy” clothes. 

 

Nova arrived at the club, absentmindedly toying with the pockets of his pastel blue cardigan. Tonight would be the last night of your freedom - independance, after all! 

 

Nova walks in, you on his side, some of your friends accompanying the two of you. He could care less about these bastards, and soon makes sure to seperate you from your “friends”.

 

He watches you with loving eyes the entire night, making sure you get drunk so bad you can't stand. It's easy, you're too trusting. Too innocent for this world. 

 

He'll save you, just like you saved them! Eventually they take you to their place. At first it's tame. Friendly. 

 

“N—Novaaahhhh...C’mere, I hic! wanna see yer pretty faceeee...” Your voice is whiny, the alcohol really hitting you hard. Nova coos, walking over. 

 

They yelp, quite loudly, as you drag them onto the bed, curling into his side. It's innocent. His thoughts should be too. 

 

But all they can think about is your chest pressed against their arms, how easy it would be to just slip your shirt to the side, and touch. Feel.

 

He shakes his head, even if you're both drunk, he can't take advantage of you like that. They refuse to taint you, and that pretty little head of yours. 

 

Stuck in their own thoughts, Nova doesn't even realize you straddle him until it's too late. Your eyes are hazy with lust and alcohol, and he can't help but gulp nervously. 

 

“Angel, really, you...you need to sleep.” Nova tries to reason with you, but reasoning with a horny, drunk Demon, much less an Incubi or Succubi is like arguing with a wall. 

 

You whine, lips lazily smashing against his. Nova can't help but melt into it, and they hate how hard they are from just a touch, a single kiss. 

 

This is wrong. Both of you know this. Yet neither of you can stop it. One kiss turns into two, into three. 

 

“An-Angel!” Nova gasps out as you nip at his collarbone, their neck already covered in love bites and pretty blue and purple bruises. 

 

“Mmph..Wan’ more...Need more, Nova...” You growled out, one hand playing with his chest the other curled in their hair. 

 

More marks. More bites. So many. He looked so pretty like this, a crying mess under their ‘innocent’ friend. 

 

Still, he held enough restraint to stop you, not wanting to ruin your first times together. But, due to your insistence, they do give you some pleasure~

 

Nova sits on his knees, you splayed out on their silk sheets, your slick dripping onto the bed as you whined. Hips jerking up to meet his tongue, hands curled around their halo. 

 

Nova’s tongue swirls against your sex, whining from the taste of your juices against his tongue. It was better then he imagined all those nights, hand playing with their cock, desperate for some relief. 

 

With every swipe and sucking of his mouth, you get closer and closer to that sweet relief you desperately need. With one last gasp, your eyes roll back and hips buck against Nova’s mouth. 

 

Nova laps up every bit of your sweet essence, fucking you through your orgasm. He's gentle after you finish, murmuring praises into your ears as they carry you to their bathroom. 

 

During the bath you end up falling asleep, Nova carries you to bed and the two fall asleep, intangled in each other. 

 

It's morning. Your eyes flutter open, yawning softly as you groaned. Fuck, that's a horrible headache. You glance around, pausing as you feel a weight beside you. What the...

 

Your eyes glide to the person laying beside you, and you pause, your cheeks warming. Nova. You're in Nova’s bed. 

 

Nova, the Cupid boy you met as a kid. Nova, the Cupid you fell for, hard. Nova, the Cupid who always seemed so clueless and innocent. 

 

And they truly look like an Angel right now. The sun shines against against his white hair and skin beautifully, wings folded behind them. 

 

Your face feels even warmer as embarrassment fills you as you see bite marks all over their neck. Bite’s are how Demon’s mark their claim, usually on their mates. Angel’s too. 

 

He let you bite them. And yet, you can't find yourself to be mad over it. Nova’s eyes flutter open, glancing up at you. A soft smile appears on their face, as they lean up and kiss you. 

 

The Angel traps you in his wings and you giggle, curling into them. He's yours, and your his even if you don't know yet. 

 

You took their heart a long time ago. It's time he takes yours too. ♥︎

[radiant-reid]

ohmygod cate!! okay so ive been thinking, could u pLEASE do a blurb or a oneshot with an angry love confession? i live for that trope and like imagine the reader puts herself in danger for spencer and then he acts all petty and rude the whole day and then reader is completely done w his shit and then they have an argument and BAM

okay so this is incredibly cliche but i love this concept and UnitChief!Reid

He's not talking to you in the car, and you're terrified about what it means. What he is doing is gripping the wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white and his jaw clenched in a way that's somehow attractive and scary.

It was hard enough to get on the team, let alone be in law enforcement as a woman, and you get hit with the need to say something and defend your actions. "Spencer, I-"

He doesn't let you get a word in. "No." He cuts you off in his authoritative tone. "Don't even bother trying to justify your actions with a weak apology."

Ouch. You expected him to be harsh, but that was mean. Even though he's your boss, you still consider him a friend.

So you sit in silence. No music and not even the humming of the air conditioning. It's a strategy, you assume, probably why he insisted on only you going with him in the SUV.

You have to shove the feeling of dread in your stomach down when you get to the hotel and out of the car. He still takes your bag out of the trunk with his because he always does, but he's furious, barley looking at you.

You're fucked, truly fucked, and able to do nothing but dwell on your behavior in the elevator.

Instead of handing you your bag at your door and calling it a night so you can go and cry, he walks in behind you like it's his room.

He almost caves when he sees the tears in your eyes because he knew from the day he met you he never wanted to see you crying, but then he remembers the feeling of his stomach dropping in his chest when you ran in there and he's the fear shifts to fury.

"So?" He asks, staring flatly at you.

You don't really have a right to be, but you're mad. "You're ready to let me talk now?"

"Don't be insolent." He demands.

You huff out a dry, insincere laugh as you cross your arms across your chest defensively. "You're not my mom, you can't tell me how to act."

"I am your boss." He reminds you. "And I will not tolerate behavior like that on my team."

"What? You don't want agents that will do the right thing?" You keep pushing the boundary instead of backing down.

He raises his eyebrows like he's unsure if you're serious. "I'd rather agents that listen to my direct instructions."

"Maybe I should transfer then." You offer, although there's no chance you will. You love everything about the BAU, expect Spencer being mad at you.

"Okay. Have the paper on my desk on Monday and you can be gone on Tuesday." He snaps coldly before he can think it through.

You throw your hands up in the air in frustration. "Fine! I will. It's not like you care about what I think."

"Don't start with that." He warns, genuinely hurting you feel like that. But he's not in the mood to talk it out with you, instead, his anger flows out. "You're listened to equally!" You've never heard him yell like that before and it's so unnatural it's uncomfortable.

"Not my take-down ideas." You remind him like he could forget the past hour.

He huffs loudly. "Not when they're stupid and nearly get you killed!"

You seriously do not understand it. You've seen other members of the team do it, and it seems like bullshit that you're being treated like a child.

"Everyone else has done it!" You shout back, blood pumping through your veins.

"I don't love them the way I love you! And I can't even tell you that because I'm your boss! So when you do stupid shit like trying to get yourself blown up, I'm going to be angry!." He reveals before he can stop it, not taking a breath. He cannot have that happen again.

His hand comes to cover his mouth when your eyes widen. Your brain is racing and you're so confused. "Fuck, Y/n, I'm so sorry." He quickly tries to save face, hoping you'll let it slide, even though he's not an idiot and he doesn't believe that. He's already preparing for the meeting with Barnes who will be even more pissed than he was.

Then it's all quiet.

Your heart stops beating in your chest for a second before racing even faster, but with a different emotion. "What?" You ask, voice cracking and so much fainter than before.

He folds, immediately. Seeing you cry feels worse than being scared for your safety. His embarrassment is genuine and he talks. "I shouldn't have said that and I should have yelled at you. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable." You don't say anything while you process it, but he takes that as his answer. "I'll go."

Before he can slip passed you, you reach out to grab his hand, stopping him before squeezing it. "I love you too." You tell him truthfully.

"You really don't have to say that." He assures you, still in shame of what he did.

"Spencer Reid, I love you." You repeat, catching the smile he knows is too inappropriate to fully show. "And I hate you being mad at me." You're close to tears thinking about just a few minutes ago.

"I hated you being in danger." He admits. "And I'm really sorry for yelling at you."

You shake your head, unable to imagine how horrible you'd feel if he did something similar. "I'm really sorry for doing something dumb."

"Please don't cry." He begs, pulling you into his chest in a hug that you definitely need.

You do cry against his shirt, but they're not sad tears.

"Hey." He says when you pull away after an entire minute of hugging and he cups your cheeks. "I thought I told you not to cry."

"I'm not very good at listening to you, though." You joke, earning a chuckle from him that makes you smile. "Are we good?"

"Yes." He assures you. "But you should get some sleep."

You nod before realizing what that means. "No, stay with me, please."

"It would be my pleasure." He agrees easily, omitting saying, I've been dreaming about it for months.

[medusapelagia]

Eddie's month day 12 + Whumptober day 12

written for @eddiemonth and @whumptober-archive 

Prompts: Eddie’s month 12: Soulmates | Eight - Sleeping at Last | Perceptive Whumptober 12: I haven't slept in days, but who's counting? - Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.” 

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson WT: omegaverse, Omega Steve Harrington, Alpha Eddie Munson, Nurse Steve Harrington, violence, hospitals, medical procedures, medical inaccuracies, soulmates and soulmarks WC: 2284

"You got nice veins." the nurse tells Eddie while drawing some blood.

"Sorry?"

"Your veins. They are nice. Look how they pop out." the omega repeats, smiling at him so sweetly that Eddie has to fight with all his self-control not to pop something else right there.

"Are you worried?"

"A little." he confesses. 

It's a minor surgery, everyone told him, but he is scared. He never had surgery before and he doesn't know what to expect.

"It will be fine. It's a very simple procedure and I'll be with you all the time." the nurse comforts him.

"Will you?"

The omega nurse nods "Yes. I'm in surgery today. And you are lucky I am, my partner, Robin, is not as delicate as I am. Done."

Eddie stares at his arm and sees the long needle "This is an IV access. I will remove it as soon as the doctor discharges you, ok?"

"How long?"

The nurse looks at the clock "We start at half past eight, you are the third so I think you'll be waiting for at least an hour." the omega replies, then he asks "Can you tell me where your soulmark is? It's not written on your file."

Eddie blushes, he knows that the skin around the soulmark is sensible but his soulmark is… "Oh... it's... it's on my hips. A crown."

The nurse smirks "Lucky boy, you find yourself a prince! Or is it a queen?"

Eddie shakes his head "No... I... haven't found my soulmate yet."

The nurse keeps smiling "You are young. You still have all the time in the world to find your soulmate. Some people do not even get their soulmark recorded to the register. I waited for years before registering mine. And I did it only because my family insisted. They said that it was not appropriate for an omega male to work if he was not bonded."

"So you found your match? Are they perfect for you as everyone says?" Eddie tries to take a look at the omega mating gland but it is protected by a tick collar like every omega in the hospital.

"Sadly not.” he replies “But there are a lot of people who find their soulmates by chance. Their soulmark starts to tickle when they first meet, and if they are fated mate they say it can even shine. Not that I have ever seen a shining soulmark, but you never know, right?.” he tells him while he keeps writing something on Eddie’s file “But I think that it is possible to find love even without the designated soulmate. Many people do that. I know some couples that even erase their soulmark once they bond."

"Really?"

"Of course. But I'm sure you'll find someone perfect for you, soulmark or not. Now. Here is the gown, put it on and tie it on the back, I'll call you when we are ready for you."

"Can I ask you something?" 

The nurse turns, his hand still on the handle of the door "Do you have any doubt about the procedure? I could call a doctor if you need some explanations…"

Eddie blushes "No it’s… I... I'd like to ask you your name."

The nurse's smile is so bright that Eddie feels a little bit in love.

"Steve. The name is Steve."

***

When Eddie wakes up the kind omega is working at the computer.

He turns, as he could feel that Eddie is awake “Hey. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

“Is it done?” he asks, still disoriented and sleepy.

“Everything is done. Now we wait for a little bit and then you can rest in your room.” The omega replies with a smile.

“Have I… have I done something stupid?”

Eddie has a very vague memory of having made a fool out of himself but he can’t really remember what happened.

“Hey, our lover boy is back! How are you feeling?” a blond nurse asks him, getting closer to his bed.

“Lover boy?” he asks, confused.

The girl's eyes shine “Don’t you remember? That’s such a pity. You made the most wonderful love declaration I have ever heard.”

“That’s because you never heard a love declaration before, Robin.” Steve mocks her.

Robin. Why is that name familiar to him?

“What… what are you talking about?”

“Oh. You promised our Steve to make him an honorable omega and to marry him soon. I think you tried to compose some kind of wedding song too.” She grins.

“Oh my god.” he roughly remembers that, now that she is pointing it out. Fuck. He proposed to his nurse in front of his partner! 

“I’m sorry… I don’t know why I did it.”

“Don’t worry. It was the anesthesia. I know that you are not really attracted to me.” the omega replies.

“How no, you are definitely attractive! I just didn’t mean to make a declaration in front of your partner.”

Steve stares at him perplexed, wondering if they gave him too much medicine “Who?”

“Robin? Your partner?”

The girl starts to laugh “Oh, Romeo, I’m his partner in crime, we are not partners in real life.” she explains to him, taking his vitals “Even if our Steve is actually taken. How are the things between you and Tommy, by the way? Did he finally propose or is he still unsure between you and Carol?”

“Robin, that’s not professional!” Steve scolds her.

“Come on, lover boy here is so high he will not remember a thing.”

“I don’t care. Just stop it.” 

“Ok, ok. Sorry.” she says putting a hand on Steve’s arm and the omega flinches.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Steve Joseph Harrington, show me your fucking arm right now!” she hisses, tugging him in a corner, but even from his position Eddie can see a blue bruise that looks like a hand.

“How the fuck did this happen?”

“I argued with Tommy. I forgot to pick up dry cleaning, but he was right to be angry because he had a really important meeting today and I’m the omega of the couple…”

“What the fuck! He can’t hit you because you forgot something.”

“He didn’t hit me!” Steve protests “He just… Grabbed me.”

“So hard to leave a bruise?”

The omega lowers his eyes and covers his arm “Come on. We still have three more patients and I have to bring Mr. Munson back to his room.”

The girl sighs “But don’t think that this conversation is over.”

“Yeah, yeah…” he comes back toward Eddie who stares at him with more attention, the omega’s eyes are red and tired, and he seems dead on his feet even if he keeps smiling and cheering Eddie up.

“All done. So now you rest a little and when the doctor says that everything is fine you can go back home.”

Eddie nods, but before falling asleep he thinks about the sweet tired omega.

How is it possible that he is in a relationship with someone who grabbed him so hard to hurt him?

Someone who can’t decide between him and another person?

He feels a strange burning sensation on his waist, but he falls asleep before he can point out exactly where the pain comes from.

***

A week later Eddie is back in the hospital, he still has to do a couple of exams just to be sure that everything is fine.

This time it is Robin who draws his blood and he definitely feels the difference.

“Steve is not here today?” he says.

“Still in love with him, lover boy?” she asks, changing the vials.

“I just wanted to thank him for being so kind to me.” Eddie shrugs.

“Well, I do hope he is resting somewhere. He was here all night long covering an extra shift.” she replies “But if I know him I think you will find him in the pediatric ward. That omega loves children.” she winks at him.

Eddie thinks for a long moment, and then he goes toward the pediatric ward.

As Robin anticipated, Steve is reading a fantasy book to a couple of pups.

“And that’s all for today.” he says, closing the book.

“Come on! Steve! Read us another chapter!” a red-haired girl complains, glaring at him with her blue eyes.

“Next time, Maxine.”

“It’s Max.” she states.

“Ok. Max. Tomorrow we will read another chapter, ok?”

The pup doesn't seem happy but then the other one notices Eddie and says something in Steve’s ear.

The omega lifts his eyes and smiles at him.

“Eddie. Did you come for your last check-up?”

The alpha nods, too embarrassed to speak, but the omega is kind as usual.

“You know what? Why don’t we have a coffee? God knows that I need one.”

***

The cafeteria is nothing fancy, but the coffee is hot and strong.

“That’s exactly what I need.” the omega sighs, drinking his cup of coffee with oat milk and brown sugar “I was ready to fall asleep when I was reading to the kids.” he laughs.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“I’m a nurse.” Steve replies with a smile “I haven't slept in days, but who's counting? Right?”

Eddie’s inner alpha would like to take him home, helping him make a nest in his room and keep him there until he feels better.

“Robin said that you were supposed to rest.”

“Yeah, I know. But I promised Max and Dust that we would read a chapter today and I’m not going to have any free time later on so…”

Steve takes off his collar and stretches his neck  “Every omega that works in the hospital has to put a collar on during his shift, you never know what could happen with some alpha patients. Sometimes they get violent and try to bite the omegas. But god if it’s uncomfortable!” He complains.

“For real?”

“Yeah. You know. Pain is a strong emotion and sometimes it takes out the instinctual part of some individuals.”

“Steve?!” someone calls and the omega turns.

For a moment Eddie sees a black mark on Steve’s neck, but then his attention is all on the alpha that is growling at the omega.

“You are such a slut.” the unknown alpha yells, throwing a paper bag at Steve “I made you a fucking sandwich! Your favorite! Because I thought you were too tired after a night shift! And you are here?! Having fun with another alpha?!”

The omega mewls “It’s not like that, Tommy, he is a patient and…”

“Is that so? I thought that you were supposed to wear a collar when you were with alpha patients! Why are you not wearing it, uh? Are you offering him yourself? Is that what you do when you are at work?!” the alpha growls, but Eddie growls back, pushing Steve behind him.

“What the fuck are you doing, man! We were just having coffee!”

“You were having a coffee with my omega!”

“I see no bite!”

“Well, this could be arranged, you know?” and then Tommy pushes Eddie away and throws himself at Steve, trying to bite his mating gland.

The omega whines, but Tommy manages to scruff him and he is almost biting Steve when Eddie punches him in the face.

After that, everything is a blur.

When Eddie comes back to his senses he is tied in a hospital bed and a policeman is sitting next to him.

“I’m Chief Hopper. Nurse Harrington told us what happened but I’d like to take your statement too.”

Eddie nods and explains to him what happened.

“The omega is not going to press charges. Are you?”

Why the fuck is he not pressing charges?!

“Everyone in the cafeteria testified that you were protecting the omega so you could press charges if you wanted to.”

There is something in the way the police officer is talking to him that makes him think that he should.

But in the end, he decides not to.

It’s Robin who comes back to discharge him a few hours later.

“How is he?”

“Steve?”

Eddie nods.

“He is resting. It was a hard day but we are understaffed and he knows that.”

“Can I see him?” he asks and Robin seems unsure, while she bites her lip, but then she gives him directions toward the room where Steve is resting.

“I’m up, I’m up!” Steve says, jumping on the bed as soon as Eddie opens the door, ready to get back to work.

“Sorry. Just me. I wanted to be sure you were ok.”

“Oh, Eddie. Hi. I’m fine. Yeah. Thanks for the help…”

“When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things… I see something familiar.” he tells him, sitting on Steve’s cot “My parents were junkies so I lived in a trailer with my uncle. I’m no Prince Charming but I know how you should treat a person and how you should not.”

“You mean an omega.” Steve clarifies.

“You are more than your designation, Steve. And you deserve someone better than that piece of shit!” 

In the dim light of the room, something is shining on Steve’s neck.

“What are you looking at?” the omega asks.

“Your neck…”

“Oh, yeah, it looks bad but it’s just my soulmark.”

“It’s shining.”

“Is it what?!” Steve gets up and runs towards the bathroom. Now that Eddie can see it better he understands exactly what that is: a guitar pick.

He lowers the waist of his pants and sees something shining too.

“Are you a prince, Steve?”

Steve turns and looks at him astonished “At… at school. They called me King Steve. To mock me.”

“Well… I’m a guitarist. And I really think that I’m your fated soulmate.”

[causenessus]

HELLO!! okay lowkey i feel like we talk more through your inbox than we do in dms so im just gonna start ALWAYS talking here 🙂‍↕️ idk tumblr dms just don't work or something so GOOD AFTERNOON!! I HOPE YOURE GETTING A TON OF REST NESS bc tomorrow... we have to go back... sigh. and i have picture day tomorrow so i probably need to make myself look presentable ykwim?? 😞

but like about that friend i yapped about HIGHKEY SHE IS NOT IT YOURE RIGHT!!!! i think what makes it worse is whenever she thinks theres an issue between her and me and she goes to literally everyone but me about it to try to get other people to validate her?? FUNNIEST THING EVER because usually people side w me too pls 💔 like they'll defend me, and the people usually tell me when she starts yapping about it to them so like... just wondering why she feels the need to tell everyone in the world about what i apparently did wrong ⁉️ live laugh love i suppose... AND IF YOU EVER WANNA HEAR ABOUT STUFF THAT SHES DONE TO ME I LITERALLY HAVE STORIES FOR DAYS

ALSO!!!! IM SO EXCITED IM FINALLY GONNA GET MY DRIVER'S PERMIT AND START DRIVERS ED AAAA like ive been waiting for ages!!!! i had to like save up and stuff so it took a bit CAUSE WHY IS IT LIKE 400 DOLLARS IF YOU DONT TAKE IT THROUGH THE SCHOOL LIKE PLEASE 💔

its been days and the try again playlist is literally the only thing pulling me through... ness im forever grateful for the existence of this playlist‼️try again isnt even finished but like NESS i would marry it if i could i think i think about it even more than love notes omf 😭 i need yn as my therapist NOWWW!!! AND ADDING ONTO THAT, TONICS LOOKS SO AMAZING SO FAR OH MY GOD?? LIKE ALL THE DETAILS AND THE GRAPHIC DESIGN FOR ARTIST PROFILES AND EVERYTHING UGHH IM SO EXCITED

okay another thing, i think i told you about a phone vault before cause like my school was really talking it up... it was the stupid pocket thing on the wall. they're out there calling it a phone vault GOODBYE 😭 anyway ive given up on paying full attention in class and have reverted back to wearing and airpod in class so i can listen to music (the SOLE reason why i have airpods is bc they were a christmas gift i dont have enough money to buy those on my own 🫡)

ANYWAY I HOPE YOURE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY LOVE!! MAKE SURE YOU EAT, DRINK WATER, AND TAKE YOUR MEDS LATER!! <33 ILY

HELLO SAV!! AND PLEASE TALK WHEREVER U WANT!! I WILL RESPOND WHEREVER <3 and omg good luck with picture day!! 😭 literally those pics never turn out good like they PURPOSELY WANT ME TO LOOK BAD they're always like "no no!! push your hair out of your face behind your shoulder so we can really see how much of an egg you look like!!" but i'm wishing you the best of luck and that your picture turns out well 😔

and also HELLO??? I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE TAKES YOUR SIDE BC LIKE,, THAT'S JUST EMBARASSING FOR HER 😭 I HOPE SHE TAKES IT AS A SIGN AND REALIZES LIKE...maybe she's in the wrong...or maybe she should go to you and sort it out with you!! instead of just complaining about it to others!!

AND AA YAY GOOD FOR YOU!! it's def expensive but so so worth it in the end 😭😭 i remember for me (idk if every state does this!!) but i actually did my lessons when i was like 16 1/2 (for many reasons we won't get into 😔) but anyway!! in my state or at least at the drivers ed school i went to if you were that age they'd allow you to do this thing where basically they just threw all the information you'd learn over the course of the week (or however long all the drivers ed courses are) in one night crash course style!! and then u take the permit test at the end of it and then u get ur permit!! and although i felt a little behind everyone else bc i didn't start drivers ed immediately yk i was kind of glad i got it all done in one night!! and like you learn all the info and then IMMEDIATELY take a test on it so it was kind of easy!! but best of luck to u!! i hope it all goes well <3

AND AA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE THE TRY AGAIN PLAYLIST!! i always listen to it in the morning when i'm still waking up and then will switch to the tonics playlist when i'm more awake LMAOO BUT YES!! DW i think now that i've gotten tonics intros out of the way i'm gonna work on try again while trying to outline tonics!!

BUT HELLO THE "PHONE VAULT" BUT BEING THE SHOE HANGER THING?? MAN THAT IS NOT A VAULT 😭 THE WAY SCHOOLS ARE OUT HERE COMING OUT WITH THE CRAZIEST NAMES EVER JUST SO THAT IT LIKE FITS THE AESTHETIC OF THEIR SCHOOL OR WHATEVER IS CRAZY but yes!! i think my wireless earbuds were also a christmas gift or something and then during this one play during high school that was literally the bane of my existence (and also simultaneously the best play i ever did) i NOT ONLY lost my earbuds but i ALSO bit my phone on accident and then broke the screen so like...i sacrificed blood sweat and tears for that play frfr (i also bled all over the set after cutting my finger on accident so i mean it...) so i had to buy myself another pair after that bc my mom was sick of me 😭😭 but they were like an off brand pair and tbh they're better than like samsung buds!! (what i have to use bc i'm not an apple user </3) so honestly it worked out in the end!!

BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AS WELL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH SAV <3 HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND REST LOTS AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

[predacon-carrion]

Log #4:

Now that I'm thinking back to how this specific individual was. I can only describe him and his ugly, red colored..paintjob and even uglier, putrid personality as millions upon millions of things, his voice sends shivers down my spine. He is also the one thing I despise the most on this stupid ship! He is Obnoxious, Annoying, Vain, Apathetic, Manipulative, Disgusting. Anything and everything negative your mind can think of, that's what he is! I absolutely despise him and I sincerely hope he gets humbled in the best possible way, if I had the opportunity to just destroy him, I would most definitely take it..as long as I don't die. But with..Carri..gosh, where do I even start with Him, I am deathly afraid of him yet I like him at the exact same time..I vividly remember the sweet moments Ive had with him, he has proven many times that he is trustworthy, but sometimes I just get this unease and wonder if..he would turn on us eventually. I know it's a stupid thought to have after all, but considering the questionable things he's.. done, and factoring in how He's making up for his actions. But don't pretend like you've never been afraid of someone just turning their back on you, treating you as if you're nothing! It's not just him though, sometimes I feel as if its everyone else too. I am, quite paranoid about Dearling, sometimes it feels like she's the only one I can trust. Same with Compy and Glitch. It's an everyone feeling, but there's this lingering sense of fear I experience, that no matter what you do, everyone around you will find a way to turn their backs on you and throw you under the bus.

...

Aside from my own..personal problems. I'm going to have to leave something else in these vents as another marking. Because when it really comes down to it. Progress is progress, and I want to make sure to save it. I'm definitely risking my health by making doing the same exact thing I've done beforehand. But hey, who said it wouldn't be risky...

I'm definitely not making it out of here without contracting a cold.

﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀

They stopped in their tracks, looking ahead of themselves as they saw an opening that didn't lead them back to the Habsuite they were oh-so-familiar with

Wait...Is that? Their eyes widened I knew it! These vents aren't endless after all, I finally see it! An outside area I'm unfamiliar with! I must've hit the jackpot! They said, excitedly.

They proceed to gaze outside, gazing at their surroundings in absolute awe, finally they were surrounded by anything but the expanding and hollow walls of the vents I wish I had a camera on me right now...

They mumbled, before placing their last blanket down, sitting on it and jotting down their surroundings and the paths they have taken within the vent that lead them to where they were now. Finally relieved that they weren't traversing these vents for nothing and that all of their hard work and sacrifice didn't go to waste.

≈STS

.

[gayspock]

whilst i cannot sleep

is anyonegetting angry and upset in their own head is anyone feelign hateful is anyone going nuts knowing it never gets anywhere that it never means anythingi keepgetitng really. really fucking angry. walk around try not to be sick fucking calm down breathe br normaallll!!!! and upset thinking abt how fucking stupid it is that i keep getitng angry andupset. when ive been trying actively not to care about it because caring doesnt mattereither and nothing matters but i cant fucking shake it. gorgeous spiral because it jsut fucking goes round in circles and it never stops and i feel like half this shit its like peopelwont even remember any more but i cant ever fucking get it out of my head and i wishthere was some fucking closurebut i dont fucking ever move i keep trying to fucking push shit forward dbutr im always jsut fucking stuck. everyone just fucking leaves and goesd on like it never happened or mattered. and idontknow whyi everjust sit there and theres this niggling fucking . ache forsoemthing just some fucking acknowledgement . like i dont want apologies i dont fucking care i dont think its even due just fucking realise i existed just for a second pleaseand my head was jsut .slightly fucked up by thsi but i feel selfish and stupid and childish and its just a fucking pipedreamgod help me but no . imstill fucking stuck as i always am and i cant get out andit doesnt fucking matter how hard i try im alwya sjust never doing enough for anything.igenuinely do fucking try to move on try to fucking do somethingelse and i jsut fucking cant fucking get anywhetre and if eel so so fucking . stupid and theresnothing there but the hollow fucking tauntssaying its going to be okay one day! and then the prompt walking away from your fucking corpse haha ! when theres nothing in sight and i its stupid fucking horseshit selectiverly designed todrvie you so, so fucking angry but youre not allowed to fucking say anything without being the cunt yourenot allowed to react you have to fucking swallow it fucking perform for people who do not fucking care or respect you truly like HAHA. YOURE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! IF YOU SAY YOURE OKAY FOR ME! YOU WILL THEN BE OKAY! NOW SAY IT! some fuckingsong and dance to make them feel betterdespite youre . fucking . insane and even if you didnt exist this would have no fucking bearing on them whatsoever but oh sure fucking fine fuck OFF do you ever fucking think aboit that i wish i could be fucking miserable for fucking once because i cant ufcking do anyhting else i really fucking cant and i wish someonewould just fucking let me be for fucking once i feel so so so fucking alone i jsut . befrore i finsihmyself off i dont know. . i keep triyng and i wish justr something could get some sort of fucking resolution for once or some fucking release or end but i jsut feel like i cant ask for anything i feel fucking crazy man i feel fucking crazy all the fucking time i feel like imgetitng my shit yanked back and forth . something smehying its never fucking worth being alive i keep sitting there and praying for it to matter to fucking have meant something but i cant fidn a fucking point to any of it im so so fucking sick of it im sick of exisitign but i sut. wahh wahh wahh or whatever i wish i couldfeel happy i wish i could feel loved or just feel liek ive done something okay jsut for fucking ocne before i die idont think im ever going to get there i cant i just keep criyng about all the meaningles nothinhs that keep coming in droves but are just more fucking shortcomins and disappointments and FUCKKKK MY LIFESS<333333

[bachikinmo4]

Nothing is fun to me anymore rlly. (Rant under cut)

I always feel either scared or unimportant around people id consider my friends. I hope they consider me my friends. I want to talk to people more and hang out more but i always feel scared and anxious that im gonna mess it up. Many times have i talked to people and came out of it feeling like i chose all the wrong dialogue options in a game. I just want to be liked and appreciated without having to ask or beg for it or initiate it myself. Its selfish of me to say that yes but what can i do. You cant be selfless all the time in this stupid baka world.

I have this one group i play games with. We roleplay while playing and make up our own story. But ive noticed that its so fucking biased to one person. They always have the most drastic plot developments, most insane shit happening to them, the spotlight is always on them like theyre the main character. Idk how the others feel about it but the plot almost never circles around them as much as it does to that guy. Maybe theyre used to it as this isnt the first rp campaign theyve done. Im not and i dont like it, it should be a even group effort and not leaning to one character.

Theres also this one person, i dont hate them at all, but they are always so unnecessarily angry all the time, especially when i ask a question about something i dont know. Not my fucking fault that im new to this and dont know as much as you, stop yelling at me. "They just explained it to you!" Well what if i didnt fucking understand . Then what. You got a problem with me wanting clarification? Or needing something complex explained? God forbid. They also get angry at things other than me or the game but it still makes me uncomfortable and scared. It makes me not want to play with that group anymore if everyone's just gonna be purposefully vague, get mad at me or something else, or add confusing plots and details and inside jokes i dont understand. I dont understand almost any of the inside jokes and references bc i didnt hang out with that group long enough and i feel like a total outcast and tourist to this friend group. But i dont want to police anything, thatd make them like me less. Im sorry.

I feel like an outcast to any group tbf. Im always a little too different from everyone. Im too young. Im too old. I like different things. I have different opinions. I value different things. It makes me feel hated and annoying and maybe im right in saying that. Maybe i am annoying. Im too weird. Im too anxious. I cant even ask someone i really like if they want to hang out with me and talk more. I fear disappointing them and scaring them off. I dont want to weird them out. Im a good person. I hope i am. We both are weird in our own regards but im scared ill be too much to them. Too annoying, too hard to talk with. Too hard to please, too hard to understand.

Too hard to be around with.

[daniels-rwby-blog]

RWBY x Justice Leauge comments

For my actual review see (https://www.tumblr.com/daniels-rwby-blog/715604149128118272/this-is-pretty-much-what-ive-got-to-say-except?source=share)

This is just a lil something else:

I gotta say the animation and shots for this movie are awesome, like casually talking everyone has great fluidness and physics, and as "rwbyed" as JL's costumes are they move well for a RWBY episode. I mean it's nothing like V9 but it's more than on par with V8 or v7. At 54:15 as Weiss and Bruce fight the Grimm and the bees and wonder woman show up, Yang's jump punch is amazing and her hair is better than anything we've seen before.

Plus immediately after in the super fun anxiety closet with Jaune and Jessica, the framing as the crumbles from the walls moving in and FX and smoke is great.

Then at 56:07 as yang asks weiss what's going on, her hand (yeah ik it gets explained if you watch the film) on Blake, is amazingly well done, and Dina's little effects are hilarious, the way the animation and blocking shows how the JL adjust to being teens as stupid a plot point as that is, it looks great.

Which is not something I would have thought to say about RWBY 7 or 8 years ago.

As for plot, this obviously is not canon. It's like a really good fanfic and i like it that way, but the ending and the way team RWBY interact make it seem like it fits, near enough into mid V7 likely before the Schnee dinner and just after becoming licensed huntsmen. 

Firstly the way the bees act is how I would expect them to act in order for Blakes flirting to make sense in V9. 

Coming out of the end of V6 Blake knows yang is important to her, i don't think she has love in mind just yet but as we see during v7's bee scenes they care about each other a lot more now, we see this Blake jumping in to be by yang's side and reassuring Yang as she fights in the air with Dianna, things she will do again in the ponder-storm in V9, as she guides yang to the confession of a decade that is 🐝.

Meanwhile yang while coming around to Blake, hasn't latched on just yet, she knows when she's pushing blakes buttons and clearly cares what Blake thinks of her (they haven't confessed so yang still thinks what she thought on the bridge likely worse as well) but she isn't as connected or as longing to be by blakes side, a s Blake is for her.

However, like blakes shy and closed off shadowy character now being ready for joking and even flirting, following Adams death. Yang also feels more relaxed understanding Blake more and being open to a bit more flirtatious activity, but still gets stun locked by wonder woman, cause she doesn't realize yet that what she and Blake has is love.

This all makes sense for the show leading up to this point and what follows in V9

The reason V9 is so open, particularly from Blake, is that she realizes the slow burn she had with yang was taking Yang for granted and falling off the world made her realize that and start going in strong. She is determined to get everything she can out of this relationship and she will never take it for granted again. 

When the ponder storm hits SHE, guides the normally headfirst yang into the confession, while allowing yang to come to her own conclusions (hence i think qualifying from yang only)

Additionally by this point Renora hasn't kissed yet, i mean Nora and Ren have a lot more history, they had all of V4,V5,V6, V7 to get over beacon and start relationships again, compared to the V6 wonder that was the bees getting together again.

Renora in the film sees a third party, unlike the one off remark on wonder woman that number one dark haired ladies simp Yang had, cyborg pushes Ren out of his comfort zone a bit by heading for Nora, ultimately this doesn't lead to anything more than a misunderstanding but it shows that Ren while not making the first move in the kiss, at least knows that he wants to be with Nora, showing that ReNora was paced well for a V7 confirm.

As for Arkos? Well i don't think I need to explain Arkos and its timing. 

And no, I will not talk about WR.

Alright that's it from me on the movie, I'll keep saying some stuff (watched it 7 times now woooo) 

But that's about all there is to it, it looks pretty, it makes the ships make more sense if it were Cannon.

Again I'm not saying it's canon, but this is what I'd expect from V7 Blake and Yang and V7 ReNora if placed in this situation when their characters were at the stage they should be for the kisses to make sense.

I'd highly recommend The Beethis by @bees-shitposting

For more on why bumblebee isn't coming out of nowhere, remember stay chill y'all

And DFTBA!

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Its the end of the year! Which means its time to post the

Tags That Made Me Smile 2022

The following are a collective list of tags, author notes, and fic names that i saw on ao3 and tumblr that made me either laugh or smile. Ive separated them by fandom but a good amount arent actually fandom specific. Ive added the character names or fandom at the end like {name} to clarify who the tag is talking about

[2021's list]

Author Specific / Non-Specific

i saw canon; acknowledged it; And promply burned it in a dirty trash can thanks; Have this instead

Give me pain I need to feel something

this is self projection thank you coming to my ted talk

Whats that?? Overused tropes that everyone has seen before????? Pfffffffft. This fic is literally just a big mess of "how can I cater to myself and myself only"

you ever just look at your life and wonder how you got here; bc that's what this fic is for me

Don't underestimate me I DO NOT know how long this fan-fic will be

can you tell my target audience is myself

this is content specifically catered to me and no one else

these characters are my landlords and i pay them rent

P O L Y A M O R Y   I S   M Y   P O L Y J A M O R Y

cheek kiss warning

kidnapping isn’t sexy don’t do it

i've never read the archie comics but that's not gonna stop me {archie sonic}

not me writing a whole fic for a ship only i care about; that like maybe two other people ship; rowing this boat is hard but someone has to do it {scourge x fleetway sonic}

ankles don't heal this fast but fuck it i do what i want

no beta we die like men; or rather we drown like the sad shipper with a pool noodle we are

I'm afraid of the Danimals mascot and you should be too

if you're getting flood warnings, don't worry. It's just MY TEARS!

me at every character: anxiety be upon ye

Me (Grabs canon and runs a marathon with it)

Quote: Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created (Spy Kids) {tmnt crossover}

Alternate Universe - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

contains dangerous amount of bed based snuggling

(kind of its a very short very homosexual fight scene); and then they kiss.

Hostage situation takes a romantic turn???? Not clickbait????

enemies to frenemies

Improper Use of Pool Noodles

stone cold stoicism meeting determined stupidity

Star Wars

Kanan Jarrus: The Daddening

platonic love is what healed his lonely existence {din djarin}

when in doubt: road trip with the besties {din, boba, fennec}

Soul Eater

found family at its finest {kid, liz, patty}

The Witcher

wife (platonic) {yennskier}

at first I was like haha geralt and Istredd should kiss as a joke…. but bro I don’t think it’s a joke anymore….

Sonic the Hedgehog

Movie!Super Sonic is made out of LOVE no one touch me

Sonics gay awakening I guess

sonic movie 2 made me make an ao3 account lol

Sonic was made to love people

Two Bros Chillin’ in an ER Five Feet Apart ‘cause they’re not gay {sonic x shadow}

the most dangerous thing is to love {shadow}

Trapped in a small box with just enough room to face some feelings {sonic x shadow}

the R in rivalry stand for romance {sonic x shadow}

The L in Rivalry Stands For 'Love' {sonic x shadow}

A Largely Platonic Cave

i love boom!shadow so naturally i made him even more insufferable

Sad-ow

Wachowskis holdin it down in the bg; Absolute champs

I love how Shadow is just so mindbogglingly utterly done with reality

Knuckles is a guardian of all things great and small

“Would you kiss a worm?" “If he was cute as fuck? Yeah.” {wade x stone}

"What is this made of, bendable titanium?!" "INCORRECT. IT IS MADE OF THE FRUSTRATIONS OF MOTHERS EVERYWHERE." {team dark}

featuring a scourge that trips far too much because it's my fic and I said so {scourge x fleetway sonic}

no thoughts just soft hedgehog moments

listen if im going to die at the hands of injured lancelot shit i might as well take advantage of it

Everyone has a crush on Lancelot and I'll die on this hill

fairy Lancelot Fairy Lancelot FAIRY LANCELOT!!!

TMNT

Slow Burn; mostly on april's end of things; casey and donnie are basically on fire right off the bat {tmnt 2012}

Rise!Donnie and 2012!Casey be out there committing arson together for their first date >.>

Please enjoy Casey, the fool, realizing his feelings for Donnie, another fool {tmnt 2012}

Draxum and Splinter are the turtles' dads (it's a reluctant partnership)

just two absolute powerhouses holding each other gently {raph x mona}

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you love, Dee. Goodnight.” {rottmnt}

Wondering what to do when the apocalypse happens? Easy: fly across the country and get Vegas-married. That's definetley an appropriate reaction that won't involve your complicated feelings towards your roommate at all {hypno x warren}

Look rise are weapons of war 12 were accidents and I play with that HARD in this fic

"GET IN THE TURTLE TANK BITCHES WE GOING TO FAMILY THERAPY" {rottmnt}

Donatello is now Dad-Atello {rottmnt}

The other [Casey] is out on a beach in Tahiti; It's what he deserves after surviving the Krang {rottmnt}

Leo is now actively being hunted for sport; (the only sport Donnie is good at) {rottmnt}

These turtles can fit so much trauma

2018 Karai lives because fuck Nick; Casey x Donnie x April are a healthy ship and also fuck nick again

I cant be the only one pissed by Leo's and Karais 'love interest plot'; Leonardo's weird feelings were simply gender envy...Yes that is canon now {tmnt 2012}

What happens when two "dudes" call each other 'girlfriend'; Transgender activities, that's what! {tmnt 2012}

splinter is twice divorced and never married {rottmnt}

Papatello / Dadatello {rottmnt}

draxum's gone from dadxum to grand-dadxum good for him

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES YES YES YES; GRANDPA BARRY COMING IN CLUTCH

draxum just be like gramps still got it; and by 'it' i mean a complete lack of forethought for care when creating random children

Puts the Bi in Bitchless {rottmnt leo}

its because ninja turtles

feral mamatello {rottmnt}

Marvel

it's the anguish, the self flagellation, the audacity to love the man who annihilate ur nation and killed ur mother; your m o t h e r {black panther}

[despite-everything]

i feel like every time i finally feel at peace about going no-contact with my mother something happens again that makes it sickening and one of the hardest things i've done.

i don't think i've ever burst into tears like this before. i dont even cry that often but im just really fucking going through it tonight. my mother texted me photos of the land she's bought down in central texas to build a ranch house on. when i was a kid, my grandparents had ranches. my grandmother was raised on one, too, and its gone back in our family. so i grew up on the ranch for holidays, long weekends, and portions of the summer. when my grandmother died and my parents divorced when i was a preteen, i went with my dad and my connection with that side of the family was almost severed because of my mothers tendency to spread lies and rumors which made me and my father unwelcome. a few years ago, the ranch became public property which is something im grateful for, but its weird to go back and visit, and i live nowhere near there anymore.

i basically went no-contact with my mother two years ago when she used my grandfather's death against me in a really terrible way. that was my grandfather who ranched. i long to be back in central texas. i feel so at home there. but im trans and unless i get one of a few very specific jobs (probably in austin) i wont go back and that breaks my fucking heart. my mother still texts me sometimes, and i havent blocked her because ive been informed of major family news from her even though i cant respond. she bought some land a few months ago and is building on the property and is going to move back to texas. she sent me update photos of the land tonight as well as a story about a beautiful coyote skeleton picked clean by buzzards on the property. i was the family member who collected bones from the ranch. i genuinely burst into tears when i saw the photos.

and then she followed up by talking about how she intends to build a small ranch house and a small guest house for friends and family to feel welcome and visit. and i just can't stop crying. that's all i've ever wanted. my grandparents had several ranches, but sold them. they asked every other person in the family if they'd be willing to take it over and manage it except for me - the one person who had always wanted to do that. but no one asked me and it was at a tumultuous time in my parents marriage so i didnt know until years later and too late. and theres almost no chance in hell i could ever afford property like that unless i inherit. and since all the ranches were sold and my grandparents are dead, i don't think that will ever happen to me. the ranch they lived on was The Ranch in the sense that it had a guest cabin and enough space for family to visit and at holidays there'd be 12-15 of us. i fucking miss that so much and theres no way to get it back and i know that but the fact that my mother is managing to re-create that same thing and i can't be part of it without hurting myself immensely is so sickening to me.

like i feel like im rambling and just sound stupid or ungrateful or something but its like ive been coming to terms with the fact that i'll never have an intact family again and im never going to have access to "home" unless i create one from scratch and i miss living in texas even with the bad parts and i miss the ranch and my family and this woman who has hurt me so fucking much suddenly gets to have this amazing life where she's becoming the new family matriarch and creating a place for everyone to gather and be happy hurts so so so much. im scared i will forgive her. ive cut her off then accepted her back before and it only made things worse. if i know whats good for me i'll stay away. but it's like the thing i've wanted more than anything else in the entire world is being dangled in front of me but if i accept it i might as well kill myself.

[darkclouud9]

okay Secret Life's over and I've only watched Cleo and Skizz's finales.

but I wanna rank the seasons just bc.

Secret Life is honestly 1 for me. it had my favourite alliances yet, I loved the Cletho + Grian team (I refuse to call them 'Roomies'), the Heart Foundation was amazing, the Mounders were pretty cool, I actually really enjoyed Lizzie and Scar being alone, no matter how sad it was. Big Dogs were amazing actually, one of the best pairings, most fun base in all the seasons just off the top of my head :]

but I have to say. first half of the season was my absolute favourite. silly tasks, BigB gaslighting everyone, Lizzie, Mumbo, Jimmy alive, etc etc. it's probably up until the episode they die where it felt like it decreased in enjoyment for me. the zombie apocalypse task was ehhhh, the vibe was cool, very LL energy, but I overall didn't like it all that much (I understand and appreciate it still, but the whole cancelling out other tasks was sad :[)

the vibes of this finale seem... weird.

and you might say I have no place to say that, having only watched two finales and getting spoiled on who the winner is yet again, but I personally didn't enjoy it. everyone felt extremely rushed and fumbled so hard. Joel in particular on his Skizz kill. Cleo didn't get a chance to defend herself, and neither did Etho, and presumably Grian. all the group ups felt off to me. I feel like the Heart Foundation should've stuck more to Cletho + Grian, they all could've done a bit better them I feel.

the massive group of people just sticking together and killing everyone else was a bit ehhh to me, but as Cleo put it, they'd have to kill each other eventually (ive watched it twice and I can't remember exactly what they say. I am a failure :[)

second is Last Life, I was insane over Team BEST for a while, but I'm more insane over Team TIES now (I have reasons I won't say teehee)

Mumbo and Lizzie are here!! they're cool!!

loved the mechanics for this season. boogeyman was very cool, and the random life count was epic. favourite mechanics actually.

lot of favourite deaths, Impulse's final death was pretty cool to me, betrayal deaths make me bite the bars of my cage, not looking at anyone in particular *ahem* BigB, Martyn's stupid yellow(?) death, Scar and BigB's final deaths were insane (Operation Bubblevator!!)

Fairy Fort was an insane alliance I never was that big on them when this season was active, but hooooollllly hell these guys. (Do me a favour. Die for me.)

the music disk, Etho freaking everyone out with it. the "Bogeyman", Southlands. Southlands just in general.

episode 6...........................

the final 8 survivors (-one. you know who they are they won it.) Pearl's boogey kill, her protecting Cleo, Joel's double kill, the final 2 battles. ough. this season had everything man. I hate the cold and winter but the wintery vibes of this season were immense and I loved it so much (no thanks to the Snow Fort...)

a lot of the final yellow kills were cool, in particular Etho and Cleo dying together, in the same order (twice in a row!!). Etho trying so hard to at least kill Ren before Pearl killed him is one of the most memorable moments for me.

and Mumbo screaming as Etho fishing rods him up into the air. and then the dogs.

and the lotion throw at the beginning of session 6.

and Lizzie's first death after failing to kill her husband. those are all extremely memorable moments :]

3L is next for almost no other reason than "nostalgia" purposes.

one thing I liked about this season was how innocent and pure everyone was.

idk about anyone else, but, except for its burning. s. I really enjoyed the Wool Castle. the swamp. and Etho trying to become Shrek or something. what was up with them

my favourite character from this season was undoubtedly Joel though. I LOVED his base, his dead bushes, Cleo dying to his roof, his roof constantly burning. with him. his army of dogs. first dog boy. Gerald. ine. I feel like he forgets his red skin at some point in this season and I really enjoyed the skin changes between colors.

also feel like him n Cleo tease Renchanting for being so loyal to Ren. (oh my go d they're actually calling him king!)

4th is Limited Life.

listen. I feel like I should like this season more than I did. I was sort of falling out of the Life Series at this point so I don't have much to say let alone remember.

but let me tell you.

Skynet.

5th is Double Life.

another season I feel like I should've enjoyed more. I loved Team Ranchers at first, but the way everyone sort of treated them was... whatever, and them people talking about Boat Boys made me live Boat Boys (I didn't feel much for them at first, but oh my gosh) but those two are my top two pairings (I can't pick between them rn)

I have no hate for this season

Scar and his allay buddy, being oblivious to who his soulmate is, Mickey Mouse. Scar was a pretty fun character, plus all his skins for this season were really cool!! insane over them still

all the pairings were really cool, I loved the Divorce Quarter, the Vultures. they were cool, I loved how they just refused their fate. (and how Martyn literally killed himself. and how Cleo was the only person to have died all three times while Martyn was partially responsible for all of them in some way.)

the pillar outside the Midcentury Modern Home or something. the fishing rod party. (Joel and Etho's demise-) one thing I feel like was overlooked with them was that Scott was like. wrong. about them. sure having the both of them pulled up so they take double damage was stupid. but it was Joel. who. died. and took all of their hearts. Etho didn't even hit the ground. in fact I think he barely even left it.

also one thing that makes me bite and tear at my cage is that Etho and Joel were the pairing to have died at the midpoint. 3 pairings died before them. 3 pairings died after them. and, despite Joel losing their earlier 2 lives, Etho being the first to die on their final life splits them into top half and bottom half, with Etho being 8th this season, and Joel being 7th.

also the Ranchers' Warden was-

[blookmallow]

so i went after benny. walking through caesar's camp was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, i do not care for a single one of them but i didnt want to start shit since i knew there was no way i could fight them all off and i figured if they're gonna be stupid enough to invite me in im gonna take advantage and steal as much information as i can (which... unless im forgetting something i dont think i ever actually got to do anything with any of the info i found?? maybe there's more if you progress further in the ncr plotline than i did i guess)

this is how i feel about legionnaires 💖

god. they have children in here. i truly hate to think what a generation who grew up like this would be like. i dont even know what the solution is here. how to you even approach something like this

i dont know how i was supposed to feel about finding benny like this. it didn't feel vindicating or satisfying to me at all. it just felt kind of pathetic. i know this man tried to kill me multiple times but i just had no desire for revenge. i honestly wanted to let him go but i tried a few times and he just kept getting dead immediately so i went to like. research if its Possible to get him out alive and it seems like even if you're REALLY determined nothing really happens and he just kind of vanishes from the game anyway. seems like he was Supposed to die here one way or another. i decided the machete duel was the most in line with my character - if i cant choose mercy (whether he deserves it or not, doesn't matter) im at least going to make it fair

fighting him with a knife and nothing else felt very. barbaric somehow. i did not like how it made me feel. but i like that it made me feel that, if that makes any sense. i dont know if it was supposed to feel like a victory or revenge but it just kind of felt like "what are we doing here, what is any of this for, why are we fighting like animals" and i feel like that goes... pretty well with the overall vibe/message of this game. war never changes and nobody ever wins, eye for an eye leaves everyone blind, etc, etc

i dont know, something about this whole section felt real heavy to me. i think my courier has some pretty serious trauma over it. i didn't go back to talk to caesar after the fight or anything. i just left. i just wanted to get away from them all

im headcanoning that the legion gave my courier benny's stuff as a like "to the victor go the spoils" type deal since, like, i wasn't just gonna leave it there but it wouldn't really make sense for her to go out of her way to go grab his suit lmao

anyway she kept them but doesn't use them for anything. she has no desire to Display them like trophies but felt the need to keep them anyway. i think probably she still uses his lighter. claims its just useful and she doesn't care where it came from but i think it means Something to her. reminder of the past. i dont know

ANYWAY. that's. that on that

i dont think that counts as a bed

i really dont understand the brotherhood of steel, like, they kinda weird me out and i dont get what their whole deal is but they haven't really done anything ive observed that was like... blatantly Evil or anything. i ultimately chose to just leave them alone bc i dont want them as my enemy and i just didn't see any good reason to kill them all. mr house told me to kill them. the ncr told me to kill them. yes man kinda went oooookay! terrible idea, but you're the boss! when i said i didn't want to. i dont understand what they're trying to do but i don't see why mass murder is necessary here either

i love super mutants though. i love this guy

i love this guy as well. i also feel like i probably shouldn't have supported the great khans, i know they're drug dealers who frequently work with fiends and raiders but like. when i tried to negotiate peacefully they were willing to work with me and i convinced them not to support the legion so i feel like that's a win. i dont know i really just went into most conflict situations in this game from a "how can i resolve this problem with the least amount of unnecessary violence possible" standpoint and was repeatedly quite impressed with the number of times i had that option. new vegas really gives you a lot of different ways to deal with a situation before you have to pull a gun on someone. i have connections all over the mojave, i have a lot of science/medical skill points and can usually find a way to pass a skill check one way or another, you really don't have to kill people all that often if you're willing to pull some strings

i pretty much only directly oppose/kill on sight if it's legion or fiends. both of which have a history of Known Rapists. legion has slaves. fiends mutilate people and leave their bodies hanging outside their camps. i feel like im justified there

i found some aliens??? wake up america

i really appreciate whoever felt the need to update this old sign

people making use of whatever busted up remains of civilization they can find is one of my favorite parts about fallout games i still love the novac thing

the textures on this entire section of ground broke. thanks bethesda

and this. as well

and that robot over there which was awkwardly scooting backwards for a good 30 seconds before it finally got back on track

what is happening here

this was a weird wasteland perk thing but i dont understand it in the slightest

[shaaaaaaar]

god i don’t think loneliness has ever felt as bad as it has this summer.

ive had more intense feelings of loneliness in my life than i feel now, but this sensation of loneliness feels worse. it’s the pain of being given all you could ever want but having it be taken away before you can truly relish in it.

across the past year i’ve built and developed such meaningful connections with people. for the first time irl i had a group of people i was close to that actually shared hobbies with me. people that made me realize just how touch-starved i am and to understand my needs better, people that taught me how to say “i love you” because they showed me how strong platonic love can be. people that loved me for all of me.

i had never been told before that someone loves all of me including my best and my worst. i had never been told thank you after rambling for like an hour about something. ive had genuinely amazing people in my life before, kind and funny and that are cool as hell. but i never had the type of friend group i formed in the past year.

but then i had to graduate. before i was ready to be gone from everyone. and they’re all right on my phone, but it’s not the same because a lot of what made it special was having people that are right there with me. and we still haven’t found our footing online, our little discord server we use still hasn’t found its footing (which if i said i wasn’t part of the problem i’d be a liar), i’m not as connected with people and i’m not doing things with people and i was supposed to be doing more than i am, that’s what i told myself and what i told other people and what other people expect from me.

i’ve stopped trying to plan things online because trying to do so was making me so stressed i was physically ill constsntly, to the point i was literally told to stop for my own sake. so i haven’t done things with people.

i’ve barely seen people outside of school over the summer because i’m already so exhausted from things online, making plans irl makes me so sick i freeze up at the thought of trying. so i’ve seen people twice and one of those two times i was having a breakdown for half of it because i was so scared.

i can’t manage it. nothing has happened.

and i’m pretty sure i’m taking this worse than anyone else is, i feel like i’m living in a nightmare. and i know about self fulfilling prophecies, that’s been something i’m scared of and conscious of too, but i don’t think anyone truly gets just how much i’m losing here because i’ve never had this in my life before. sometimes my inaction is because the fact that i have to take action to begin with makes me feel horrific.

i’ve fought my ass off this summer, fought against this beautiful disaster of the culmination of my mental illness and neurodivergency and my interests and my queerness and everything that makes me atypical making it hard to find my tribe. i’ve kicked and screamed to be able to hold on, hold onto something, one thing with this one fucking group that can stay normal and undamaged and not at total risk.

i don’t want to call out for help anymore because i feel like if i let myself cry i’m only putting things more in jeopardy. i still have but either with the safety and stability of my online friend group, vague because i’m scared to actually say anything, or if i do actually talk about things transparently it’s very sporadic.

today was a breaking point for all of this. where i’m so stressed and so exhausted and so scared that i was this close to removing everyone and running and praying that somehow that’d make things better (despite knowing it’s stupid and counterproductive) purely because i can’t handle this anymore and i don’t know what to do because i feel like i’ve tried everything.

i just want this shit to be fucking over.

i don’t want to be alone anymore.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

The Monster doesn’t get a Happy Ending.

...

...?

*Kuripa opens his eyes, lying down on his back in a bed. He looks around, using the little strength he has left in him.

That’s weird...This isn’t a hospital...

*Making note of the wooden, cosey, cottage-like frame of the room, he sits up and pulls the covers off of himself. His body is bandaged and ointment and medicine is clearly applied. Plus, an IV bag is strapped to his arm.

*THUD!*

AUGH! Fuck!

*He gets up, but when he tries to stand up, he finds the feeling and strength in his legs is gone, causing him to collapse to the floor. Disgruntled, he gets up and forces himself onto his wobbly legs, heading to the nearest door and heading out the room. In front of him are stairs going downwards, so he walks down them until he reaches another door at the bottom. He opens that and steps out into the room.

...!

Kuripa!

Y-You’re up...!

*Kuripa makes note of those who sit in the room. Kaede sits at a table on her own, Komaru and Toko sit at another table together. Shuichi and Makoto sit at the counter.

Wait...tables...counter...! This is...

???: So...you’re finally awake.

!!??

Welcome back to the land of the living buddy. I prepared your tea for you, just the way you like it.~

Maya...!

*She slides a cup of coffee towards him.

Hehe! You were right Kuripa! This stuff is gooood~

I’m glad you like it! Hehe...I’ll go grab some biscuits too.

*She smiles and heads out back.

Maya...

She’s already long forgiven you Kuripa. In fact, I don’t think she was ever mad at you to begin with.

Are you alright? You shouldn’t be walking around this much after last night. Make sure to thank Kouji later; he helped patch you up.

Does anyone have something I can wear?

H-Here.

*Makoto hands Kuripa his shirt and sweater-vest. He puts them on.

Thanks.

Coffee aside, I’m grateful to Oliver too. He managed to get my leg fixed faster than I expected.

I must say, the Freedom Foundation aren’t what I expected they would be, but they sure are unique.

You know, it must be fun acting like the overconfident mafia boss’s in this situation.

Ok, what does that mean?

Just saying...I’m grateful and everything that you patched me up, but...I was under the impression that everyone in this room HATED me...And yet you’re all acting so chummy...I mean, it’s not like you don’t have the right to detest me. But still, I’d appreciate it if you dropped the act and got to the point.

*sigh* You never change, do you.

Well, we can’t have nice things, can we.

Look Kuripa...We’re not undermining you. We’re just trying to make things right. We owe you an apology. You were right, and we were wrong.

So...you finally think that killing Katagiri was the best course of action?

Yes...I don’t like to admit it, but after seeing the state he was in...There was nothing we could have done to save his life.

And No matter what, we couldn’t have allowed Katagiri to attain immortality. After everything that happened, there’s no way we could trust him to do good things.

Yeah...and I especially need to apologize.

*Komaru stands up, shakily as she regains use of her leg.

Not just because of my doubts about you, but because of what I did afterwards. My actions were unruly, and they were wrong.

Plus...You saved my daughter’s life. There’s no way I can just...ignore that.

*Kuripa sips his tea.

You’re actions were stupid but they had little to no effect on my Dumbaru. I’m glad the kid’s safe. But don’t think I had you in mind when I did that. I’m just sick and tired of people around me dying...or being tortured...I’ve got enough of that on my conscience.

...

Akamatsu told me back in the factory during our fight...that my only reason for wanting to track Zetsubou down was because I was thirsty for blood, and wanted to kill Gyalusetsu and Koime.

Kuripa, I-

Let me finish. After all, there is, of course...some truth to that.

...!

But above everything else...I just wanted to fix my mistakes. I wanted to make things right again.

What mistake?

*sigh* I didn’t really tell you this...but when Shirogane attacked the camp, she bought Gyalusetsu with her. Thirsty for vengeance, I chased him with the intent to kill.

Turns out that’s EXACTLY what Shirogane was hoping. She used Gyalusetsu to lure me away from the camp, leaving the kids unprotected. Harukawa and Yumeno got kidnapped because I couldn’t do my FUCKING JOB!

*SLAM!*

RSH...

Easy, easy!

*Kuripa slams his cup on the table in frustration, then clutches his head.

...My POINT is I’ve been a colossal fuck up in recent times. I want to change that. NOW.

If that’s the case...I have a question.

Komaru accused you of having known about Katagiri’s condition this whole time, and you confirmed that. You claimed that one of the reasons was because you didn’t expect anyone would believe you. But you mentioned there was another reason. What was that?

...If I told you, you might not like it.

Doesn’t mean you can just keep it a secret.

Fine. I’ll be blunt...I was testing you.

...What does that mean? Testing us on what?

*Kuripa leans back in his seat.

Simply holding out for Hope has it’s limits. When shit hits the fan, how will you all react? What will you do if your own turns on you?

I was wondering what might happen if I was to become an enemy of the Future Foundation, or break it’s code. What would you do? Would you leave me to my own devices? Or would you try to stop me, throwing aside the years of friendship that we’ve had.

Essentially, I just wanted to see how much you trusted me. As well as how far you were willing to go in conflict.

...Well...I’m sorry we disappointed you.

On the contrary. What happened was almost exactly what I was hoping for.

Huh?

Aside from the whole “dictatorial Komaru” shit that was going on, you all reacted in exactly the way I hoped you would. I WANTED you to fight me.

Look...I know better than anyone else that I’m a dangerous person. And I can’t even trust to remain in a sane enough mind to the point that I’ll always be in control of myself. If I actually snap one of these days...Well, I’ll need to know that the Future Foundation are willing to stop me for good.

So if this ever happens again, I want you to remember this. Fight me as if you intend to KILL me, even if you don’t desire to. That’s the only way.

Kuripa, don’t say such morbid things.

Not gonna lie...hearing that you were running us through some twisted “test” kind of pisses me off but...It kind of makes sense coming from you.

...I do have to wonder something though. And...you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but...

Why do you do these things Kuripa? Disagreeing with the Foundation’s no-killing policy and believing that murder is, when push comes to shove, a suitable solution to a problem. Even if it can be considered problematic, there’s no shame in having that opinion. So...why do you actually put it to PRACTICE? Why do you have to be the one to take their life?

...Toko.

Y-Yeah?

Do you ever think about the people Genocide Jack has killed?

What? Wh-Why would you ask that?

I’m just saying. Do you regret her past actions? Do they affect you?

...Well....Yeah. I’m living a life that I couldn’t be more satisfied with. I have a home, a job, a family...I have everything anyone could want but...given my double life and the people who have died at Jill’s hand in the past, I wonder if I deserve it.

Mm-hm...And do you remember the faces of all those you’ve killed?

...No...Jill and I don’t share memories, so I wouldn’t.

Hmph...must be nice.

*He finishes his tea.

What...What do you mean?

It’s torture. Taking a life is something that scars you. With how many people I’ve taken, they’ve all basically blended into one twisted psychotic mess that plays on my mind constantly. But at this point, I’m too deep in that mess to stop. And it keeps going, and going, until every last bit of humanity is drained from my body...and all that remains is what I truly am underneath...A monster, just like them.

And do you remember what I told you Komaru? The monster...doesn’t...get...a happy ending.

...!

THAT’S the reason I do what I do. Someone fucking has to...and I don’t want this, for anyone else.

Kuripa...

I don’t understand. You hate the Future Foundation’s policy, and yet now you’re claiming you DON’T want us to take lives?

I never hated the policy itself. I just hated the fact that you were so deep in it that you would let captive agents SUFFER just to protect it! I don’t want to hear any excuses. An ideal and code is NOT more important than your friends LIVES!

You’re right...of course you’re right...And I’m sorry we made you think that way.

It’s ok...I know you were just...confused and desperate after everything happened. But we need to make things right. Together.

Right! In that case, I have a proposal for you.

*Makoto reaches into his pocket, and pulls out something familiar. Kuripa’s FF badge. He holds it up in front of him.

It took me a while to convince everyone, but in light of what you’ve done for the Future Foundation...we’re willing to welcome you back to our ranks.

Or rather...I’M asking you to come back. I need you buddy. What do you say?

...

*Kuripa reaches out a hand and closes it over his badge.

...

*But when he retracts his hand, the badge remains in Makoto’s palm.

I’m sorry Boss...but no. I can’t come back.

!!?

I...think I need some air.

Wha-Kuripa!

*Kuripa suddenly stands up and walks out of the café.

[starsambrosia]

Tw mentions of sa/abuse/trauma

I was talking with Uncle Zeus tonight...5am

I asked if he wanted me to write something or go to bed, he wants me to write before bed.

Ooh boy, yknow im partially scared about being open here since ive gone so long being sorta super abused for opening my mouth about this, but i lost a lot to get here yknow.

Im not some dumbass pretending or role-playing, i lost family, friends, a girl i thought i loved more than anything, my religon crumbled before my eyes, ive been abused, assulted, forced into some nasty shit. All because i opened my mouth about this.

You dont belive me? Check divination, ask Zeus yourself, i dont care anymore because what else can be done to me. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And i know why he wants me to speak, i was so afraid so anxious to join pagan group or talk on here so scared to be flamed or outcast.

What can you do to me that the ones i loved most havent already done. Nothing. Whats some online dramma if it means i can finally open my mouth and express the things ive seen and felt.

It's been 6 years now since Apollo appeared to me, when i was a devout christian in training to be a prophet of "god"

Do you know how long i ran frome this??? Do you have any idea how long i fought them how many other pantheons i ran to and was booted out of, how many times Loki downright pushed me back to the greek pantheon, essentially saying "yeah this isnt my kid"

So much doubt and fear so much pain.

For the people who fake it, why? Why. This is hell this hurts this aches this has brought me unimaginable pain. I wanted so bad to just be normal to just be literally a normal ass dude.

I have lived in constant torture for so long. Day and night nothing but violation and suffering. I am a shell of what i was. And i have to heal so, so much, and i will never be the same. And even with all of that, im happier now...than i ever was christian.

I actually feel loved by them, supported, cared for. I feel bad i fought them for so long about this, i feel guilty that for so many years i shut them off saying it was hubris while they constantly patiently guided me over and over and over proving again and again that it was true and i couldnt run forever.

Its ok

Im scared, but thats ok

I'll be ok. People are entitled to their belifes and i know mine is controversial i know i might not be taken as seriously even though i dedicated so much time so so much time meditating, learning divination, channleing, banishments, hellenism as a whole as well as greek mythos and even teaching, reiki healing, greek cultural studies and history i put forth so much time and effort and study because i doubt I'm who they say i am and i fear so much that i am lying that one day Zeus will smite me for my audacity.

But, they havent.

Instead I'm embraced, met with love, care, encouragement, they get exasperated when i try to fall back to being a follower, they chastize me for it, i cant worship i cant do shit that followers can i am outcast from pagan groups because im looked at as a fraud or a scammer or an idiot when ive dedicated so much time to studying and learning just desprately trying to understand why im like this.

And yknow what

Thats fine

Everyone has their path, everyone has a right to belive, and I've met other demigods, ive seen them and ive done divination and theyr legit.

And anyways this is my blog i should be able to say whatever i want

If i can say stupid bullshit 24/7 why cant i actually express what i genuinely belive and hold very close to myself.

I pledged myself, mind, body, and soul to Lord Zeus, King of the gods.

If he sees fault in my actions he has and will punish me. I am more and more confident every day in who exactly i am.

And ive been through too much bullshit to stay silent any longer.

Thats my ted talk