#Do I not miss the day and stress about missed work later?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
B specifically asked not to be hurt but it's her bday weekend so instead of listening we are writing Yunho smut on this fine Friday evening. Anyway, uh yeah... best friend Yunho. 🔞
content : mentions of drinking, thigh riding, unprotected sex, slightly dubious consent, best friends Yunho and reader fooling around.
The evening started the way Thursdays typically did. You showed up at Yunho's cramped little excuse for an office, shared with the always courteous San and Seonghwa, to find him the only one working late. San was just packing up when you walked in, Wooyoung perched halfway on his desk chattering away as you offered them both a wave. You weaved your way past them, carefully avoiding Seonghwa's little shelf of lego creations, to drop down onto the corner of the desk Yunho typically had half covered in papers and miscellaneous stationary.
"Fancy meeting you here."
He glanced up from his grading, pen tapping against his bottom lip as he sat back with a sigh when he finished the page. "Hello stranger."
You smiled as he ran a hand through his already messy dark hair. It was always in disarray after these classes. His TA position stressing him out more this semester than it usually did. He was better at managing most of the time but his course load was heavy lately and he'd been staying later and later to finish marking and assignments. The balance wasn't exactly work life balancing and you had yet to see him actually sleep once this week.
He ran a hand over his face when you quirked a brow at him, glancing between him and the pile of papers on his desk. "When are these marks due in?"
"Tuesday."
"How many do you have left to get through?"
"Maybe twenty more? I should be able to finish a few more tonight and then run through the rest tomorrow. Then I can sit down and study for that Stats exam Sunday and help you with our presentation Monday."
"And are you planning on sleeping any time between now and then?"
He sighed. "y/n you know I'm doing my best here. I just don't have time."
You shook your head. "Finish that one and I'll borrow Hwa's or Sannie's desk space to sit down and get through more of our presentation. Then we can go back to mine, since Mingi is definitely not going to let you get any sleep tonight, and I'll help you with the rest of these tomorrow."
He blinked up at you. "You've already done like three quarters of the work on this presentation."
"So it won't be much more when I make up 85% and you have a fresh, functioning, brain to look over everything before the final draft Monday. Plus, you're my best bet at actually passing stats and if we're going to be studying all weekend we can at least get some rest in between. And I have plenty of caffeine."
He groaned. "Please do not even talk to me about caffeine right now."
His leg jiggled and you laughed. "On your fifth americano of the day or something are we?"
He shrugged and held up four fingers, biting his lip. You shook your head.
"I'm not even going to ask. Speedrun your marking, I'll be over there and then I'm buying you a drink on the way back to my apartment. If anyone deserves it, it's you. And maybe it'll counteract some of the blood in your caffeine system."
A laugh and then you both turned to set back about your own tasks.
You hummed softly as you worked, only glancing at the time once you'd finished the last section of the powerpoint. Yunho's fresh eyes would catch a ton of small details you'd missed but that was fine. It was why he was always the final run-through on these things. You cracked your back and stretched, pressing save and closing your laptop. You found Yunho pretty much exactly where you had left him.
He sat hunched over his desk, chin resting in one hand as a red pen tapped against one cheek while he poked his tongue into the other. He was so focused or lost in whatever train of thought he was currently jotting down in the margins of the paper he was nearly done that he didn't even start when you came over. You leaned back against the corner of Hwa's desk and watched. He adjusted the glasses on his face as he finished and you bit your lip as he cracked his neck.
"If you keep doing that one of these days you're going to break something important."
It always made you just a little nervous. He grinned, dropping the pen as both arms came up over his head in a stretch you could almost feel. He flopped back into his chair, legs spread, and adjusted the glasses that had begun slipping down over the bridge of his nose. You just sighed and dropped into his lap.
"Done for the night?"
His forehead dropped forward to rest against the back of your shoulder as you cleaned up his desk, hands resting on your thighs as his fingers drew abstract shapes on your jeans.
"Mhm, if I start another one right now I think my head might just explode."
You smiled and started shuffling his things into a pile. "Help me clean up and then we can leave. I have a bottle of soju or seven with your name on them in the fridge."
His little cheer was muffled against the back of your shirt as you both got up.
It didn't take long to walk to your building, your apartment wasn't far from the building all his classes were in this semester and Yunho's long legs forced you to walk a little faster than you would have alone. His presence did make the dark campus feel a little less foreboding so you stuck close as you headed inside and up to your unit.
He followed you in like he always did, at home here since he'd lived part time in your apartment before he and Mingi moved in together last fall. He was more than familiar. You dropped your things in the living room and headed to the kitchen to see what flavours of soju you had available. There was a selection.
It had maybe been a bad idea to suggest alcohol on an empty stomach.
You found yourself half naked, having lost a round of strip poker or two before the takeout arrived, leaning against Yunho's shoulder as you both burst into laughter for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour. The food was great and you shoved another bite into Yunho's mouth before he could launch into another story.
"Please shut up and eat your noodles before I suffocate. I think I broke a rib just now."
He chuckled, taking the chopsticks from you and scarfing down the rest of the container while you wiggled around trying to get your bones to sit right again. Your ribs and face hurt from laughing and you were pretty sure you'd cried off most of your mascara already. You took a deep breath.
"Why do I ever listen to you? You're so ridiculous, you know that?"
He grinned and you couldn't help the way your eyes drifted to his lips, lingering a little as you reached up to brush a bit of sauce from the corner. His breath hitched and you blinked up at your best friend.
"Okay?"
He nodded.
"Sorry, I should have asked first."
He shook his head, hand coming up to capture your wrist. You knew, in theory, that they were large but the ease with which his long fingers circled your wrist had you staring. This was new. Or was it?
You didn't think you were that tipsy.
"Hey Yun?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you pinch me please?"
He smirked. "I can think of something better."
You blinked. His face hovered closer, moving slowly. You didn't stop him. Then his lips were on yours and oh, you were so not dreaming. His teeth nipped at your bottom lip, making you squeak into his mouth and he laughed as he pulled away.
"I can't believe we've never done that before."
You reached up to touch your lips, and then to pinch him.
He jumped. "Yah! Hey! You can just tell me if you didn't like it."
You smiled. "I did like it. I was just making sure I didn't black out and accidentally dream this."
He sighed. "No, we're both still awake. Was that really necessary?"
You shrugged and then you were leaning up to kiss him again. He tasted like soju, what was new there, and the strawberry chapstick Hwa had bought him for his birthday last month. His lips were soft and everything but gentle as they worked against yours. You lit up when his tongue parted your lips and plunged into your mouth, sighing against his lips.
He was a good kisser, you'd give him that. Your hands found his wide shoulders and you braced yourself as you climbed into his lap to get closer. Something about Yunho was just addictive and as long as he was good with where this was going, you didn't want to stop.
He was right, why had you never made out before? You'd definitely gotten drunk and tried other things together over the years. It should have been only natural that this was on the list of experimentation, you'd known him since high school after all, but kissing was just one of those things you'd never dared to initiate with Yunho before now.
His hands were everywhere and you found yourself whining into his mouth when they slid down to cup your ass. He squeezed and you rocked forward, gasping as he adjusted you like you weighed nothing. You let Yunho manhandle you, moving you from his lap to straddling one large thigh. You nipped at his jaw when he pressed your hips down, guiding them over his still jeans-clad leg.
"Yunho." You whined.
It was unfair that he was still so clothed while you sat there in just your underwear. It was a matching set at least but neither of you was really paying attention to that particular detail. You tugged on his shirt and he leaned back to watch you unbutton it, hand coming up to fold behind his head. His eyes were dark as they trailed over you and you could feel the heat pooling in your gut.
"Tell me to stop and we can."
You shook your head. "If you stop now I'm disowning you. Hongjoong is going to be my new best friend."
He laughed and leaned in to press kisses down your neck, humming softly against your skin as you finally managed to get him out of his shirt, shoving it off over his shoulders.
He pulled you back in, one hand on your waist guiding you to rock against his flexed thigh as the other came up to cup your breast. "Do you have any idea how pretty you are like this?"
You hummed. "A mess?"
He shrugged, the hand on your breast moving to unclip your bra in one smooth motion. "For me, yeah, that's hot."
"Mm, because you're the one making me desperate?"
He nodded, head dipping down to catch a nipple in his mouth. You gasped, hand tangling in his hair and he groaned as you tugged when his tongue flicked over your skin.
"You have no idea how desperate you make me. It's nice being the one with the upper hand for once."
Before you could ask what, exactly, he meant by that his hands and mouth busied themselves making it impossible to think. You gave in, only getting a minute to breathe when he flipped you around and pulled you back against his chest.
You leaned your head back, tilting your neck to give his lips better access while his fingers moved to trace your wetness over your panties. He bit down on your shoulder when you gasped, fingers trailing under the fabric to ghost over where you needed him the most. He groaned against your skin and you gasped when one finger slid inside you, slowly sinking up to the knuckle.
"Fuck."
"Mm, too much?"
You shook your head, hand grasping his wrist. "No. No, don't stop."
The chuckle against your neck had you shivering. "Oh, greedy tonight are we? My good girl wants another?"
You struggled to force your eyes open. "Please Yun, feels so good. Fill me up. Please."
He didn't ask again, sinking two more fingers knuckle deep as they continued to pump in and out at his pace. He worked you fast and didn't let up until you were shaking, clawing at his thighs and begging. You were pretty sure you'd started crying and you didn't care, the orgasm that swept over you was worth it.
When you caught your breath enough to whimper his name again he was already pulling out his cock, groaning as he adjusted you on his lap again, legs hooking underneath yours to keep you spread open for him.
"Fuck, you sound so pretty when you cum."
He was stroking himself with the hand that, moments ago, had been mostly inside you. You forced your thighs to cooperate a little longer as you turned to straddle him properly again, hips rocking as his tip slid along your slit, now slick with your own release. He moaned and you found yourself smirking.
Oh, so this was what he had been on about. It did feel good, seeing him such a mess for you, especially when you had barely done anything.
"Let me, please, don't need to be inside but can I...?"
His pathetic whines had you biting your lip and nodding. "Yes, yes Yun. Use me however you need."
You swear he almost came at those words, stopping to stare you dead in the eye and then he was guiding his length along your slit like a man possessed. He felt so good you let your eyes slide shut, hands anchored on his shoulders as you felt him slip inside.
"Mm... just the tip. Please y/n."
His begging nearly undid you. You nodded, hips rolling with his and then suddenly he was grasping you by both hips and slamming up into you. The size of him knocked the breath from your lungs and he groaned.
"Fuck, shit, sorry. Just felt so good. Couldn't help it."
You rocked your hips a little, testing the stretch, and his hips stuttered. You'd never seen him like this and fuck if it wasn't more than a little intoxicating. The breathy moans, the whines as he held himself still just long enough for you to adjust to the sheer length of him pressed fully inside you.
You both paused as he pressed a hand to your pelvis and you caught a glimpse of him bulging in your abdomen. You gasped, he groaned, and then you were being pressed down into the couch while he hovered over you.
"Please please let me do that again."
You guided his hand, back arching as he slammed into you. You watched as he traced his fingers over the outline, cursing under his breath, and whimpered when his pace suddenly went from manic to man on a mission. He was rutting into you so hard he had to hold your waist to keep you from sliding all the way up the length of the couch but neither of you noticed the way the sofa creaked beneath you with every snap of his hips.
By the time he pulled out, hand fisting his cock as he painted your stomach, you were already seeing stars again. You arched up against him, whining and moaning his name as your hand slid down to your clit, fingers working you through your climax while he caught his breath.
"Who knew all needed was to get railed?" You teased, when you glanced up and met his eyes.
He laughed, sweat dripping down his forehead as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. That set you off and then you were both shaking with laughter.
"At least let me clean you up before we make another mess."
55 notes
·
View notes
Note
Heyy can you do angst like really really angst of reader dying in season 2 or 1 with Jayce x reader
This is so evil… of course I’ll do it ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧🎀
Contains- Jayce Talis x councilor! Reader
Rating- T for brains above 13!
Warnings- mentions and descriptions of death and gore(?)
Authors note- I’m currently coping with season 2 act 2 , I miss my soft lover boy Jayce so bad it’s insane ( • ᴖ • 。)
Fic starts below the cut!
You had met Jayce in the academy days, keeping him company while he did his piles of research on hex tech. You loved to watch him work, seeing him finding that final piece of the puzzle and celebrating with you made your heart flutter. So after weeks of brushing hands, stares from across the classroom, and complements that were a bit too flirty he finally got the courage to ask you out.
Since then he’s been glued to you, fingers laced with yours while he rehearses his progress day speech for the 50th time, head resting in your lap as you work out some councilor paperwork late in the night.
One afternoon he walks into your office, face sewn with an emotion you couldn’t place.
“You’re needed in the council room, it’s important” his tone is flat but wavers at the end, after the attack on the bridge you could tell he was struggling, grappling with the weight of duties he never agreed to uphold.
You followed him into the room, dim with the sun setting just outside the large window. As he speaks to you and the rest of the council his voice is confident but the look in his eyes while he introduces the idea of a separation of piltover and zaun is full of worry.
The idea of zaun raised eyebrows but as the time to vote came the council, including you, agreed. Maybe once zaun is free the zaunites can finally find peace and piltover can focus on hex tech’s development. The final light flickers on as councilor Kiramman agreed to the proposition and a wave of relief washed over Jayce’s face, the looming dread leaving his face.
A moment later a distant explosion causes you to turn your head, momentarily blinded by the blue flash of a rocket barreling for the council building. Without time for anyone to react the room is practically reduced to rubble, a searing heat biting your skin as rubble pins you on the ground.
Everything sounds muffled as the remaining members of the council stumble to help each other, Jayce’s voice booming through the room as he searches for you. He’s able to pull a majority of the rubble off you you but the damage was already done, blood pooling on your dress as Jayce’s hand comes to cover the gash ripped in your side.
Tears fill his eyes as he tries to get help, screaming for help from the stunned councilors staring at the scene unfolding in front of them.
“Jayce…” you call out, hand reaching up to touch his face in spite of the shooting pain every movement caused. His skin is hot, stubble on his jaw pricking at your hand. His cheeks are covered in ash and dust, only broken up by tear tracks.
“I’m sorry- I- I can fix this I’m gonna get you help” He reassures, the words consoling himself more than you. His hands shake as he holds you, panic setting in while your skin grows paler and colder by the second. You guide his face to yours, lips colliding with his for the last time.
“Please… don’t blame yourself” you plead as you fight to stay conscious, every second passing increasing the pain ripping from you abdomen while the adrenaline fades. The finality in the way you spoke broke Jayce, a strangled cry leaving his lips as he felt you go limp in his arms.
Your mind brought you to a safer place, memories of the early mornings, date nights, and soft moments shared between you two playing as the sound around you fades and you can feel yourself slipping away. The pain fades and for a brief moment there is peace, no aching in your heart as you watch the man you love work himself to the bone to fix problems born centuries before him, no more constant stress about how to uphold the approval of the council while fulfilling your promise to your people in the undercity, no more fear of what tomorrow may bring.
As he finally lets your body go, lying you down as comfortably as he could so your final rest could be a good one, his gaze falls on victor.
He is in a similar position to you but there’s no visible bleeding and he’s still breathing, though shallow. A flash of panic courses through him as he rushes him to the lab, chest heaving while his thoughts cloud all of the other voices around.
I can’t lose them both tonight.
#carmen’s brain🎀#writers on tumblr#fanfic#fanfic requests#writeblr#arcane#arcane league of legends#jayce talis#jayce talis x reader#Jayce talis league of legends#arcane jayce
63 notes
·
View notes
Note
The social and cultural sacrifices were enough to have continued ruining my life five years later, but I'm glad to know I needed to materially sacrifice myself too, to be a really virtuous person. And I didn't even order delivery!
Suffering is not a virtue. I'm not Catholic. I'm sorry you're struggling so much. You're not the only one. It's hard! It's harder because we haven't been able to go through this together as a people.
I mentioned the social and cultural sacrifices because I think they're significant and should be taken seriously. Too often they're not, honestly. A lot of people suffered and are still struggling. That is a very real consequence of the pandemic and I wish we could talk about that without getting bogged down in arguments about whether lockdowns were a good idea because half this country still thinks the other half was just being dramatic. I'm speaking from an American perspective because I'm American and my post was about America and the effects of the pandemic on specifically American society. I do not mean to ignore that COVID is a global issue.
I wasn't calling anyone virtuous or not. When I talked about material sacrifices, I was thinking about WWII rationing. It was sold to the public as virtue by the propaganda, Do Your Part For The War Effort, but the reality was that there was simply not enough material to continue supplying civilians with what they were used to having available during peacetime and wage the war. If we could have avoided those sacrifices we would have. In 2020, the nature of the crisis as well as the sheer wealth of the United States, meant that material sacrifices were very limited, which made it possible for some people to have a fairly sheltered and privileged experience of the pandemic. It's a good thing, for Americans anyway, that we were able to get through COVID with minimal material sacrifices! I just think it contributed to the collective amnesia about the recent crisis we weathered.
Of course, in order to maintain the supply chain, a lot of people have to continue working under harrowing conditions. That's why they were called essential workers. A lot of Americans are fairly willfully oblivious to how much they benefitted from this labor. These are the people who post about how much they miss staying home and baking bread all day. I've been commenting on this because I think there is a connection between this phenomenon and voting patterns in 2024.
There's also nothing inherently wrong with ordering delivery. My issue is with the very recent expectation of cheap, frequent delivery. You can press a button on your phone and have a hot meal of your choice arrive at your door within an hour. That's a science fiction concept. It simply doesn't exist at low prices without an underpaid labor force and that labor force is wholly invisible to a lot of people. The role of the pandemic in this is that the pandemic helped normalize that expectation because we were dependent on delivery and curbside pickup, not just for restaurant meals but even for essentials. We were also encouraged to order delivery from restaurants as an alternative to eating out, partly because people were throwing a fit about it, partly to encourage some level of social interaction and joy under stressful conditions, and partly to help small businesses stay open. I'm not even morally judging people for spending too much money on delivery, your budgeting decisions are yours, as long as they're honest and clear-eyed about it. It's the entitlement that's the problem because cheap delivery doesn't exist without underpaid labor. And also because people are mad about prices being high and willing to vote for fascists about it.
40 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii! I loved your last headcanons, may i ask for shansk x f reader headcanon where they decide to have a baby, the pregnancy and the birth? I had a kid recently and it's so stressing so i would like to know how him and the crew would handle the situation, ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable, have a good day!
Shanks’ Baby - F Reader x Shanks
Content: Pregnancy, birth, parenthood is hard but you both are trying your best! Shanks is a pirate through and through
Notes* woah, congrats!!! parenthood can be rough but I hope you’re doing well! Please remember that taking care of yourself postpartum is important, too! Also if your baby is colicky definitely try white noise that seems to work sometimes?? Good luck and I wish you and your baby great health!!
Shanks
Having a baby was something that was always a risk between you two, but you both took every measure not to let that happen by accident. Shanks is a pirate and you were not, and the last thing Shanks wanted was to be an absent father
deciding that you did finally want a baby only came after lengthy discussions and planning for months
Shanks still wasn’t ready when you told him you were finally pregnant- but you didn’t really need to say it. He’d returned from another trip of his and you were already 4 months along
He felt terrible that he’d missed the first stages, but he decides then and there to lower his anchor and stay for a while because there was no way he was going to miss anything more
The crew is also very helpful. Pregnancy is harder the bigger you get- cravings, hormones, not being able to tie your shoes- it’s overwhelming at times, so there’s always someone around to help with whatever you might need if Shanks isn’t
He’s right by your side at the birth, holding you hand and taking the curses at him like a champ
He doesn’t let that baby out of his sight, either. He’s got too many enemies to trust just anyone to take care of his newborn, so he demands to either be in every room or for them to do what they need to while he’s holding your child
No one dared defy that man
He’s such an attentive man post-partum as well. There’s so many sleepless nights as you two learn how to be parents but he always makes sure that you are fed and that you have some time to rest
Even if the baby cries on and on, he won’t wake you for help unless he thinks it’s something only you can handle
He LOVES to do skin to skin with your new baby. He heard about it once and now he never puts the little one down
He’s already emotional about not wanting them to grow up
When it comes down to it, he can’t resist the call of the sea. But he knows it’s dangerous, and so one day after a lot of talk between the two of you, he leaves
it’s hard without him. Not having his help, not getting sleep… It’s awful
He’s gone for months. You’re relieved to see him back, and when Shanks sees how much your little baby has already grown, he vows never to leave you again. You end up part of his crew permanently- he’ll figure out the details later but for now, he’s confident he can keep you safe
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to just not go to school tomorrow
#I have a massive project with the first draft due tomorrow#and I haven’t written either the conclusion or evaluation yet#and pretty much every section needs updating in some way#I could have done it over the weekend but I spent all that time procrastinating#and now I really really want to email in sick#but this would be the second (or third??) time recently and I do have all three subjects tommorow#so I’m not sure if it’s worth it?#Do I not miss the day and stress about missed work later?#Or do I wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to do the project Knowing it will end up sub par and still have a bunch of stress?#Oof hard choice#corrie converses
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately
#i still can't bring myself to make anything art-wise. and it is ripping me to shreds internally#i have no motovation whatsoever and i'm feeling disgusted by my creations. like that's the best you could do huh mixer?#i dunno. trying to keep calm. i'm going to my uncle's tomorrow to puppysit for 3 days#i'm happy that i'll see puppy but being out of my house will be stressful.#plus i've still got work to go to...#and i need to do the laundry and take out the trash and stop buying uber eats and forward my snap benefits email and.#and later today after high school lets out i'm going to talk with an old teacher i had#i need to change my bedding too..#i at least took a shower yesterday#i think my ptsd has been acting up in the background or something#my other uncle tries to tell me to let go of the past. but i don't want to. my past has forever impacted the way i'll be for the rest of-#-my life yk? and my 'past' wasn't even that long ago. it was 2/3 years ago. and my brother's still with that awful man#i can't pull him away from him.#i just wanna sleep. might take a sleep med early just to take a nap#i've been hating everything i make so like. why even try yk.#i drew one thing while i was hospitalized- a tiny sane jack head#i dunno. i dunno. i feel so empty. my depression's been super bad. i don't enjoy things that once made me happy#i feel so aimless. i'm thinking about going to college but i have to see what scholarships would be available because i can't work this job#WHILE in school. it'd wear me to the bone#i don't want to quit my job though. i like my job. i like my boss and my coworkers..#i dunno. idfk what's wrong with me anymore. i just want the pain to stop man.#i dunno what i want to do with myself but i feel like a. fuck it ik it's from firework but i feel like a plastic bag in the wind#i'm so tired. i miss my mom. i miss my sister. i miss my brother.#vent#delete later
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
local woman gets two consecutive weeks off work, immediately starts experiencing some type of Ailment
#literally#yesterday all day at work i was busy but manageable. just started feeling the tiredness set in near the end of the work day tbh#biked home feeling perfectly fine. got in and pretty much instantly i got 1. the worst headache 2. blurry spots in my vision?#i was like lemme relax by watching a movie but then was like huh. entire spots are missing when i try to look.#popped a big painfkiller and drank some tea in case it was dehydration or smth and by the end of the night it had improved but i still#went to bed early just listening to a YT vid letting my eyes rest and falling asleep p quickly even if i did wake up a few times in between#this mornign i was fine. but after a few hrs it's starting to settle in again and idk what to do abt it. i was gonna catch up on bridgerton#then mb get some reading done but like i need my eyes fr that... why is my vision still fucky.does ayone know what to do about it?#mb it's a delayed stress response frm the week ive had? is it a nutritional thing? baby's first weirdass migraine but it comes and goes???#i would do further research trying to read up on whta the hell i got but 1. reading extremely difficult feat and 2. internet said eye tumor#so im like oh fuck OFF#any and aall advice welcome though rip thanks#*edt lying down wi one episode of iwtv later and vision has +- returned to normal. so additional screentime....good???? make it make sense
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can God translate me. Just for like 3-5 business days. I just need a little break—I’ll come back I promise.
#al speaks#lds things#help I am so tired. I can’t do it anymore I just can’t#it’s too much. it’s all too much.#it’s fine it’s not like I have to miss my mission reunion tomorrow cuz no one can take my shift cuz we are all overworked#that’s fine I didn’t even want to go to that anyways. it’s not like it would have been nice to see my mission president and his wife#who live in the uk and are coming to the us for this. no that’s fine#also chill that I probably have to cancell on my friends on seeing the new dnd movie Saturday night cuz of other things. that’s chill too#I love never hanging out with my friends it rocks#oh I can’t go home to see my family Easter weekend cuz I work? welp luckily I don’t miss them and have a weird homesickness I’ve never felt#before plus a really weird and new anxiety that my dad is going to die. dunno what that’s about#anyways tried to go to bed at ten tonight cuz I’m so tired. three hours later and I’m here. I have spiraled three difeeebt times#this is cool I didn’t want or need the sleep anyways. I don’t have a paper due Saturday that I thought was in two weeks cuz I’m an idiot#also I’m not at all stressed out about money especially after paying my roommate over one thousand buckarinos to fix a scratch I gave her ca#r this is all cool and fine and awesome#but seriously tho god. hit me up. I know I gotta come back but I could seriously just use a couple days
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
Ignore
#delete later#im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting#for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping#how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant#and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc#to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it#i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly#idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially#good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse#and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out#how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them#im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them#theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting#ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH#im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy#im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT#i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont#deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice#especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train#station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair#to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT#im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is#even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about#field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back#id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of#oh we're not good enough huh#and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one#so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway#i just need to scream bc idk what else to do
0 notes
Text
Another night I feel like my world is ending, so I went for a drive. Tried to sleep earlier. Nothing doing. Took a couple antianxieties. Surprisingly, not much help. Made me a little sleepy, cried a little, maybe a little more relaxed, but still…. blegh.
So, I’ve got my beeg drink, a podcast going, and I’m sitting in the Kroger parking lot because it’s 4:30+ in the morning and I need to see actual humans walking around. I don’t know how to explain it. Seeing other people continue on with their lives helps calm my doomer anxiety.
This sucks.
#going to give up on sleeping tonight because…#because because because because…#because my brain hates me and whenever I try to sleep now I feel like I’m going to die#I NEED to schedule more appointments#I don’t know why I didn’t. I mean#I mean I do know why I didn’t. it’s because I think I had a couple good days and didn’t want to stress myself#which is stupid. a little stress scheduling today stops me from stressing more later#I need drugs! I need therapy. I might need to see an ENT again bc I’m paranoid about my sinuses#sorry I got annoyed this week seeing posts talking shit about therapy and it just made me feel shitty for needing it#but whatever. whatever works for you. this is rambling#I’m gonna stay up. try to see the sunrise. see more people walking around.#I miss having friends… but damn that was a long time ago#that nice sweet spot right around highschool and right after where we would all hang out all night#just driving around or loitering or watching movies at each other’s places#do you ever really get to have friends like that again?#seems like you’d have to make a bunch of friends in school and then hold onto them as hard as you can#or maybe I just need to be more social. but that’s rough. how’s a 35 year old introvert loser supposed to be social in a normal way?#also…#I just want to be held#that’s all I wanted earlier. to be held for awhile. to have someone comfort me physically.#just hang out with me. sit on your phone next to me. let me know I’m not doing this alone.#be a bro! jeez!#okay it’s almost 5. guess I should get back to driving#whatever. this sucks. I’m so anxious.#you can ignore this#text
1 note
·
View note
Text
Writing tips for long fics that helped me that no one asked for.
1.) Don't actually delete content from your WIP unless it is minor editing - instead cut it and put it in a secondary document. If you're omitting paragraphs of content, dialog, a whole scene you might find a better place for it later and having it readily available can really save time. Sometimes your idea was fantastic, but it just wasn't in the right spot.
2.) Stuck with wording the action? Just write the dialog then revisit it later.
3.) Stuck on the whole scene? Skip it and write the next one.
4.) Write on literally any other color than a white background. It just works. (I use black)
5.) If you have a beta, while they are beta-ing have them read your fic out loud. Yes, I know a lot of betas/writers do not have the luxury of face-timing or have the opportunity to do this due to time constraints etc but reading your fic out loud can catch some very awkward phrasing that otherwise might be missed. If you don't have a beta, you read it out loud to yourself. Throw some passion into your dialog, you might find a better way to word it if it sounds stuffy or weird.
6.) The moment you have an idea, write it down. If you don't have paper or a pen, EMAIL it to yourself or put it in a draft etc etc. I have sent myself dozens of ideas while laying down before sleep that I 10/10 forgot the next morning but had emailed them to myself and got to implement them.
7.) Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don't comment - even if they say they do, they don't, even if they preach all day about commenting, they don't, even if they are a very popular blog that passionately reminds people to comment - they don't comment (I know this personally). Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don't comment. You just have to accept it. That being said - comment on the fic you're reading now, just do it, if you're 'shy' and that's why you don't comment the more you comment the better you'll get at it. Just do it.
8.) Remove unrealistic daily word count goals from your routine. I've seen people stress 1500 - 2000 words a day and if they don't reach that they feel like a failure and they get discouraged. This is ridiculous. Write when you can, but remove absurd goals. My average is 500 words a day in combination with a 40 hour a week job and I have written over 200k words from 2022-2023.
9.) There are dozens of ways to do an outline from precise analytical deconstruction that goes scene by scene to the minimalist bullet point list - it doesn't matter which one you use just have some sort of direction. A partial outline is better than no outline.
10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists.
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#words do not describe how much i do not WANT to be at work rn#and i cant even feel good about getting through the shift bc i have to be back tomorrow. and the day after.#i literally only work 4 days a week and yet everytime i do i feel like im dying slowly it feels like my brain is melting#i spend all my time off stressing the fuck out over money and costs and other adult shit that has to get done#i just wanna lay down and make it all fucking stop#i just want to stop please fuck#i have no way to lighten the load everything i have to do has to be done by me i hate this#fucking kill me lmfao please i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life.#i miss having drive and energy. i miss not hating every second of the day im not laying in bed wasting away.#vent#delete later
1 note
·
View note
Text
Can’t stop thinking about poly141 who get so wrapped up in their own bullshit they begin to neglect reader. So you leave 🤷🏼♀️
It wasn’t a big deal at first. You understood that their jobs were intense to say the least. You own a bookshop, which in itself was exhausting, but you understood how they could get carried away with work.
You had excused the many delayed returned texts or missed FaceTime dates when they were deployed. When they came home, they almost always made it up to you. Showering you with attention and quality time.
But the past two returns home have been… different.
Usually at least one of them made a beeline to your shop or your loft if it was too late in the evening. You always held your breath when it was just one of them.
“They’re okay.” Was the usual answer. “Everyone made it back okay.” It was only then that you could melt into whoever’s hands you were in.
After one of their recent returns home you had voice to Price that you didn’t appreciate several days passing after they came back and no one had bothered to tell you. He had snapped. Arguing that a mission doesn’t finish just because they land back on soil. There was paperwork and debriefing to be done. If and when they wanted to see you they would.
He didn’t apologize until later. Crawling into your bed, using one of the keys you had given them. Blaming the stress. How they had almost lost Johnny for the reason of his outburst. What else could you do but forgive him?
So you had given them space after that one. Not holding it against them to decompress before seeing you.
The next time was the final straw. Solidifying how little they cared about you and how much power you had given them.
Johnny had come in around 7 one evening. He was dressed nicely, for civilian standards. You were reading a book on the couch when he had let himself in. You were wearing on of Simon’s sweatshirts and panties. He took you in for a moment before scooping you up.
He fucked you absolutely stupid. Adamant on having you cum on his tongue, his fingers and his cock. You were only able to bask in the afterglow of him filling you up before he started pulling his pants back on.
“What are you doing?” There were times that you would practically need a crow bar to get Johnny detached from you just long enough to relieve yourself. You had gotten many a UTI courtesy of Mr. John MacTavish.
“Dinner with my family tonight.” He explained by the time he was already buttoning his shirt. “The youngest just graduated and ma’ feels the need to go all out.” Now came the tie. Johnny was actually wearing a tie. To go to dinner. “A fancy dinner in London.” He huffed. “Meanwhile I’m out scufflin’ with bloody fuckin’ terrorists and I get a pat on the back.” He gave you a peck on the cheek before heading out the door. Promising to call you later.
You just sat in your bed. Still naked. Almost in shocked. He had fucked you and just… left. You were close to a panic attack as you called Simon.
Simon wasn’t the one to cuddle and coddle. But there was something so soothing at the sound of his voice or even how his heavy body felt perfect laying on top of you. Yes. Simon wasn’t the time to lift you up with words, but he was your own security blanket. Just having him close helped.
“Can you come over?” It wasn't unusal for Simon to be the one to come later in the evening. Insomnia was a bitch to deal with and you could sleep through the sounds of whatever he played on the tv. Most of the times you were content laying your head on his lap as he ran his hand along your head as if he were petting you. It was a bit cringe, but it knocked you out every time.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. The low timber of his voice already calming you.
“Johnny came over.” You sniffled. “He just fucked me and left.”
“Not surprised.” He scoffed. You could almost see him rolling those deep brown eyes of his. “If you wanted to cum, I’m happy to come over and help.”
For whatever reason, that only seemed to make you more upset. “You’re not listening.” You said, trying to spell it out for him. “He left. Like didn’t even stay and cuddle just left. Fucked me and left.”
“That’s why you’re calling me crying about?” He almost seemed… annoyed.
“Yes!” You said, nearly snapping. All of the tension from the last several months coming to the surface. “I’m not just a warm body to keep a bed cozy until you assholes decide you need to get one off.” Assholes. You called them assholes. “This isn’t what we agreed to.”
“Johnny is Johnny.” Simon tried to defend, not really caring to continue the conversation now knowing that you weren't in any sort of physical harm. “He wanted his dick wet and from the sound of it, that’s what he did. Don’t hold it against him because he had other things to do.”
“It’s not just Johnny leaving.” Your throat felt like it was tightening. A telltale sign you were close to crying. Whether from sadness or anger you weren't entirely sure. “The only time any of you want anything to do with me anymore is to fuck.” You missed date nights and lunches. You missed texting any and all of them about your day, about theirs. About new books. You had been trying for months to tell them over dinner one of your books got picked up. Yours was being traditionally published.
None of them had bothered to even try penciling you in.
“You got yours.” You heard the popping of a can top. Simon was settling in for the night. Once he popped a top at home there was no getting him out. He wasn't coming for you. “I don’t understand what you’re bitchin’ to me about. Yeah, in the beginning we indulged ya a bit? Dressed you up, took you out. But you should have known spreadin’ them legs of yours wouldn’t end with one of us puttin’ a ring on your finger.”
You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? These were the men that pursued you. Initially, individually, but when tensions became to much they offered a solution. All of them. Four times the attention, of the affection.
Four times the love.
But also four time the neglect. Four times the amount of heartbreak and disappointment. Loving all of them meant putting yourself in a position to let each of them hurt you in their own way and they had.
John's constant state of snapping at you as if you were one of his men.
Johnny swinging by as if you were just a fuck buddy. Not even bothering to give a peck before leaving.
Kyle essentially ignoring you for weeks now. Ghosting you for hours or having to cancel on date nights last minute or claiming that he really did forget that the two of you had planned to meet for lunch.
And now there was Simon. Telling you that all you meant to them was what was between your thighs.
Spreadin' them legs of yours wouldn't end with one of us puttin' a ring on your finger.
None of them ever intended on making this into something more. That much was clear now.
You didn't know what to say to Simon. You couldn't think of a witty retort. You couldn't find the proper insult to whirl his way. You couldn't convey just how much his words had hurt.
So you did the only thing you could.
You hung up.
#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#call of duty#john soap mactavish#angst#grovel#we love a good grovel don't we girls
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
the limit does not exist!
how spencer helps college!reader understand a little calculus and therefore understand how he loves her.
MDNI | smut word count: 1931 warnings & tags & stuff: fem reader, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), lil bit of overstim hehe, pure unbridled affection, LOVE, FLUFF, hugging, reader cries, this was in fact meant to be written for spence's birthday... sorry about that school is kicking my butt lets just pretend it's october! author's note: this one is for my folks who HATE their calculus class and want spencer reid to give them head instead <3 maybe this can help you romanticize it a bit. i think this is classified as self indulgent…like REALLY self indulgent… hah... anyway i hope you enjoy! let me know your thoughts if u have any, i loveeeee you!! have a great day my hands are shaking posting this smut is so scary!!!!!
You sat in bed, staring down your notebook, eyes narrowed. Limits stared back at you. You were just about at your own limit, if you were being honest.
Your brain, however sharp and witty it may be, is absolutely not one designed for calculus. A literary analysis essay? Done in half an hour. In depth scientific research project? Easiest months of your life. But there’s something about finding the instantaneous rate of change of a curve at one point in time by finding the slope of a tangent line that hasn't clicked yet.
A slew of other papers- notes, practice worksheets printed from obscure websites, and formulas- surround you, a sea of unfinished thoughts from the past month of the semester.
You bite on the end of your pen, the little hope you had for a good grade in this class slipping further and further away with each passing moment, like the last ember dying in the remains of a fire.
What you really wanted to be doing was celebrating Spencer’s birthday with him right now. A chocolate cake lay on the kitchen counter and pasta simmers on the stove, but you and your boyfriend had agreed to do a solid hour of work before the celebrations ensued.
You were never particularly strong willed when it came to following through on such agreements.
“Teach me calculus,” you say, a very impressive three minutes later, flopping down on the couch. Your head makes its way to its forever resting spot, Spencer’s lap. He raises his eyebrows slightly, thumb reaching out to trace over the slope of your nose. His eyes flit between you and the file to the side of him.
“I thought we agreed on an hour.”
“Yeah. But it wouldn’t be a very productive hour if I didn’t know how to do what I have to do. And I missed you.”
He sighs quietly, closing the file next to him.
“What do you not understand?” You smile at that, loving how quickly you won.
“Related rates. Like, conceptually.”
Spencer hums in response.
“It’s October. You’re not even supposed to know related rates yet.”
“Fine. Then let's open presents,” you respond, smiley. His eyebrows get impossibly higher, hand stroking your cheek delicately.
“No. I want our night to be a little more stress free when we celebrate, okay? How about you think about that lovely cake you made for me. What if I decided to squash it so that the diameter would get bigger, going from…let’s say, 20 centimeters to 26 centimeters in 3 seconds, and the height would get smal-”
“That wouldn't be nice. It took me like four hours,” you interrupt, grumbling. He cracks a smile.
“For the sake of the example, let's say I was an awful boyfriend and really wanted to ruin all the hard work you put in for me.”
You roll your eyes.
“Hey,” he says, hand moving down to touch your jaw softly. “Don’t do that. Don’t be difficult. I’m helping you.”
“Sorry. I guess I need you to zoom out a little. I don’t really get why I’m learning this as a whole.” Spencer’s eyes pore into yours, staring down at you adoringly for a small moment as he comes up with an answer.
“Calculus helps us begin to explain the unexplainable by harnessing what we can,” Spencer says simply. “Einstein once said that, ‘Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas,’ which makes it simple in practice, but I actually like to think about it as the opposite philosophically. Trying to find logic in the more poetic ideas.”
You cuddle deeper in his lap.
“Think he would agree with that?” you ask. “I do answer to Einstein before you, unfortunately.” Spencer bends down to kiss your hair.
“I think so. He also had a really nice quote where he remarked that, ‘Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.’ He said, ‘How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.’”
Spencer takes a deep breath.
“Math doesn’t explain how I love you. It can’t. But I love the fact that it tries to. It kinda makes you wanna learn it as best you can.”
You process that for a long second and nod. He keeps talking.
…
Presents get opened, and cake gets eaten before dinner. Of course.
You’re now in bed, on top of the covers, forcing Spencer to give you a fashion show of the new sweater vest and tie you got him. He turns to you after putting it on, and you beam.
“I really like it. You look great. Do you like it?” you ask. He nods, smiling back at you.
“I’m gonna wear it to work tomorrow.”
You beckon for Spencer to come closer, sitting up in bed. Your hands go out to the tie, tugging at the knot softly. He stares down at you until eventually interrupting your motions with a slow kiss, hands cupping your face.
“You’re so pretty,” he mutters.
He pulls away and finishes what you started, folding the tie neatly and setting it in the drawer. Then comes the vest, and soon enough, he’s just in his boxers.
“You’re the pretty one,” you say quietly. “Come to bed.” He crawls on next to you, tugging you into his arms. “Happy birthday, Spence. I love you.” He dips his forehead to your shoulder.
“I love you.”
Before you know it, he’s shifted on top of you, moving down. Fast. You blink, hard, trying to rid your head of the hazy endorphins as you register what he’s doing.
“What? No, I was gonna do that. It’s your birthday. You don’t have to,” you protest.
“But I really, really want to, darling girl,” he murmurs back, kissing your knee and softly pushing it to the side.
You fluster and Spencer just looks at you, fingers tracing shapes on your waist, waiting for you to be ready.
“Well. Um. Okay. If you insist. I can’t really deny the birthday boy.” Your voice is small, and a little giddy smile grows on your face. Of course Spencer Reid would want to give you head on his birthday.
He smiles a little against the bare skin of your hip where your top meets your shorts. Then he meets your eyes.
“You know you can, though, right?” he asks, voice a little more serious. You reach out to touch his hair softly.
“Yeah. I know.”
Fingers hook your shorts, gently pulling them down. He presses a kiss to your thigh, and then he suddenly looks down at it.
“Soft,” he murmurs, like he’s making a mental note. He presses another, and another, incrementally going closer and closer to your soaked through underwear. His eyebrows scrunch when he sees the wet spot. “All this from a few kisses?”
You blush, unable to respond.
Spencer’s fingers hook a centimeter of your underwear. “These?” he checks.
“Yes, please,” you manage. He tugs them down, silently noticing the slickness of your sex, and exhales shakily.
“How many times on average does it take for a guy to call you pretty on a given day before you get annoyed?” he murmurs, soft smile playing on his face. You smile too, head cloudy from his words, but it immediately drops when his lips press directly against your pulsing clit, kissing it softly.
“Fuck,” you say (Spencer would argue moan) softly (loudly). You let out a content sigh, and he moves to suckle it, actions becoming less and less delicate.
It’s not harsh, but incessant. Spencer knows what you can take. He knows exactly what you can take. You’re both quiet for a bit, save for your breathy moans.
“Spencer,” you say softly, ripping you both out of your individually hazy and dirty and distracted minds. “You’re too far away.” He looks up to you, face parallel to your aching core, hair beautifully messy and mouth glistening.
After a second, he grabs your hips, gently pushing you up against the pillows so you’re propped up at a better angle. He then shifts his body up wordlessly so he’s more above you, dipping his head down to give you a soft kiss. You taste yourself, tongue darting out to lick your lips.
His hand takes over where his mouth was, sliding in between your folds with a practiced ease. Spencer looks down at you, eyes wide and flitting between yours, searching for a reaction.
You reach out and wrap your arms around him, holding him close. “Holy shit, I love you,” you murmur.
His fingers lightly graze your clit again before one slides into you. “Angel,” he breathes out, so quietly. “I love you too. This okay? Are you okay?”
You nod feverishly and lift your hips to meet his hand, always in a perpetual state of wanting more, to be closer. Your bodies are melded so close together, barely giving him room to push his hand into you. He doesn’t even bother to ask you to use your words or keep your hips down, like he might on a regular night.
He pulls his head back to watch as he pushes another finger into you, stretching you just a little. “There we go. You always feel like heaven around me.”
Your eyes flit up to his face as he says those words, now having a little more room to observe him. You focus on the slope of his nose and curve of his mouth.
“You’re so perfect,” you say quietly, adoringly, before you even realize it was true.
You blink at that thought. Spencer Reid is perfect, despite whatever universal odds deeming that impossible.
Those graphs, those formulas, now laying discarded & crumpled on the ground. They click, a little bit. You understand why Albert Einstein wanted to spend his life developing theories of relativity.
This is how Spencer sees you? What he was talking about earlier?
This is how he sees you?
The thought is almost too much.
Spencer sees your face, and not knowing what's going on in your head, slides down his free hand from your cheek to your carotid, feeling your racing pulse. “Take a deep breath for me, okay? You're about to come, huh?”
You inhale and are met with peace. Then your orgasm hits you like a wave. You clench hard around his fingers, and he just watches it happen, fascinated. “Baby,” he coos softly at you.
It wasn’t just your sensitivity he’s currently maximizing on or the little kisses he dips down to leave on your neck that sealed the deal, but the very thought that you could be loved in a way that is so perfectly impossible.
You exhale breathily as Spencer pushes you through the last trails of your climax, fingers not caring one bit that you just had your world tilted on its axis.
“Spencer. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” you say eventually, overstimulated.
“You’re okay. Did so good.” he murmurs, fingers slipping out of you.
His thumb brushes your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even realize was dripping down.
“Don’t cry, you always cry. It’s my birthday. Don’t cry on my birthday,” he whispers soothingly, affection lacing his voice.
“I’m not.”
Another one falls.
You reach and press out that perpetual little slope between his eyebrows with your thumb, gentle, like you might break him. “I’m not crying.”
Spencer lets you lie.
#spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#fanfic#piper’s works
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
── stress relief. ( sjy ) 🎧
๑ Jake hasn’t gotten as much attention from you lately, so I guess he has to bother you in order to receive it..
pair: clingy bf!jake ㅊ busy gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, fluff, very silly and unserious banter, teasing, begging, fingering, oral (f. rec), spit kink (?), marking, unprotected s.x, creampie | words: 4.0k
welp- this was a lot longer than i intended it to be lol, srry not sorry. also why am i always making jake such a needy bf ? LOL, idek.. i just love a man that’s down bad for me what else can i rlly say shdhshsd
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
exam season never stroke you as easy, that’s why you took more time than you had into studying. you spent most of your days sitting infront of your laptop and it’s handy dandy partner— your notebook. on the side of that you were juggling your boyfriend’s needs, alongside your mother’s constant smothering over the phone about how she wants to see you this week. you constantly tell her that you don’t have the time and if you had the time you’d rather go over there than anything. you loved your mother dearly, but you wanted big things for your future, especially when you imagine a family one day with your lover.
“mom, we’ve been over this a million times, i love you and all but i’ve told you. i don’t have the time to go and see you right now..” you hated having to put your studies first before anything, but that was the only way in order to become successful. you couldn’t afford to slack off and just take time for yourself to do whatever you wanted, you had to remain focused.
your mom didn’t seem too happy with that answer, she really wanted to see you and you could hear it in her voice. it broke your heart the way she sounded. “i understand that, but i really miss you staying over sweetheart.. maybe we can plan something this week ?” she truly hoped that you’d say yes but you couldn’t just drop everything and go home for the weekend, unfortunately things were far more complicated than that.
you were beyond stressed out, and along with her constant nagging it only pushed you over the edge, you were well over aggravated. it’s like she only thinks for herself sometimes..
“doesn’t sound like you understand, i don’t have time and i can’t come see you ! you’re being really selfish right now.” you’ve tried reasoning with her but it just never worked, usually you’d give in and comply with her demands but you had to put yourself first this time. “i’m sorry but not today or tomorrow, not even this week, i love you mom.”
“i love you too.. i guess i’ll talk to you later then ?..”
“mhm, bye mom.”
and with that, you quickly hung up. you felt bad with how you raised your voice at her, but sometimes she doesn’t think. you could tell she had gotten upset just by the tone of her voice and that by itself made you feel like shit.
weight on your shoulder: multiplied.
not long after, jake had came home, he’d seen you working your ass off and understood how this upcoming exam was important to you. although, he also got to shake hands with this disasteress stress. for one, he constantly has to force you off your work to go to bed. he hated seeing you risk your own health for the sake of success. jake knew you’d pass with flying colors, he believed in you, he always had. you were few of the top students in your class. of course you had it. while he also studied for exams, he’d rather not risk his mental health for a test he could easily just take again. and he always told you that, but you’re too stubborn to ever listen.
“babe, i’m home !” he shifted to the living area, where you just so happened to be at the time. “new station?” he giggled, joking about how you finally moved from the dining area.
“yeah, i guess..” you yawned while busily typing away at your HP. jake checked the time once hearing you yawn.
“baby, get up. bed time, now.” he clasped his hands together a second before walking towards you and your silly little laptop. you don’t say anything back, only continuing what you were doing, as if he wasn’t even important enough to acknowledge.
“uh.. are my words delayed ? did i stutter? save whatever you’re doing, right now and get your little ass into bed.” he cocked a brow at you, waiting for you to comply, hands taped to his waist.
“jakeee, just a little more.. ‘m almost done ! i promise. it’s just a little bit left !” you plea at him, hands speeding up it’s pace, dancing along the keys moving to the save button after typing another sentence. your face looked drowsy. you looked tired. and you knew it.
“great then just a little bit for you to do tomorrow ! room, now.” his one arm and his other grasp you, taking you under your arms and up on your feet. “bu-”
“go.” he cut you off, nodding his head in the direction of your shared bedroom. you finally caved, maybe you did need rest. and that’s just what you did, but not before talking to the sweetness that lay beside you.
๑ ๑ ๑
“so, how was your day..” you ask the half sleeping boy who’s face was deeply snuggled in between your breasts. he couldn’t sleep unless he was holding you, the warmth of your body against his gave him the much needed comfort he desired.
“mm.. good, i just wish you were more involved in it..” you felt the vibration of his voice through your skin making you giggle, yet, you were upset with how it’s now just dawned on you that you chose studying over the man who’d give you the whole world if he could.
it seems you’ve been acting awfully selfish lately, barely returning any of his calls or responding to his texts hours later. he feels like he’s constantly giving one hundred percent in this relationship while you barely gave half of that. jake knows you love him, you wouldn’t be coming home every night if you didn’t, but he misses that stage where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t know how caught up in exams i were, i haven’t been giving you much attention, have i ? ..”
“you holding me is all i need.. i cherish the time i get when you aren’t studying..” he mumbles, hands tracing shapes along the slope of your waist.
“thank you for giving me time and understanding.. i love you baby..” you kissed his head tenderly. receiving a hum in reply you knew he was tired, so you yourself dripped into slumber.
๑ ๑ ๑
your alarm rang forcing you out of bed and before doing so you switched your alarms off. you looked over at your resting partner. he was so peaceful when he slept he looked just like a baby, and you wanted nothing more than to baby him ;(
*okay.. i wanna hurry and finish this.* you pulled the blanket off your arm before dangling your feet off the cushion of the bed.
“what’re you doing ? where are you going ?” he instantly wakes up when he feels the weight of bed lighten, hands capturing the hem of your sweatshirt to forcefully halt your movement.
“i’m just going to finish up my studying,” you remind him from yesterday, cupping his face as you turn around to face him.
“goodmorning, jakey.” you cheesed.
a strong pair of strong arms wraps around your figure, “gummorning, princess.” he half yawns, looking up at you with those precious, endearing eyes of his.
“c’mon, let’s go play in toothpaste.” you tap his arms signaling him to let go.
“are you saying my breath smells bad ?” he chuckled, finally setting you free.
“i mean, if the shoe fits !” you playfully joked, getting up immediately after he unarms you.
“c’mon babyyy.” you try one more attempt to get him out of bed, hearing him act all whiney since he didn’t want to. he’d much rather still be under the sheets and laid up with you, but you were on a mission today.
finally, you two ended up in the bathroom. mornings were always chaotic, so much going on as you took turns brushing your teeth. while he brushed his, you were brushing your hair and doing your skincare routine. you were getting ready to take a shower so you gathered all of your needed things, only waiting to brush your teeth. when you finally got a hold of the sink you got your tooth brush and sat on the counter, kicking your legs. you were sometimes childish, but so what ? nobody wants to age anyway.
“stop being weird, little girl..” you were laughing almost choking with the minty taste of toothpaste in your mouth, you quickly spat it out. “and you pee loud ! it’s like gun fire !”
he chuckles at your comparison, “i know a few things i do loud.” he mumbled before walking over to your figure that sat tall on the sink as you rinsed your toothbrush, caging you in.
once your toothbrush was away your arms immediately swung around his neck, you’d missed holding him all day everyday, which is why you contemplated on cutting your studying short for today.
“you’re so cute..” jake couldn’t help but be all over you, he’s waited far too long just to have you like this again; peppering kisses all over your face and jawline, trailing them all the way down to your collarbone. your body tingles in excitement, wanting nothing but to have your boyfriend’s hands roam your whole body. but you’d soon snap back to reality— the sad, underwhelming reality of what you’re actually supposed to be doing.
“jake.. we can’t.. i have to finish, remember ?” you felt like a broken record at this point but it seems as though it goes in one ear and straight out the other. he hasn’t touched you in so long, he doesn’t even know how he’s survived without it. he has his needs too, and his hand wasn’t going to cut it anymore. he desperately needed you more than anything right now.
“i’ll be quick ! i swear, pleaseeee.” he tries his hardest to plead with you, eyes practically begging you for an ounce of sympathy. “just want you so bad…”
usually you wouldn’t give in so easily, but the way he looked at you made you wanna fold in a heartbeat. was studying really more important than getting some dick ? yeah probably. but how could you say no to that face ? it’s been weeks since you got some and the urges were only getting stronger. you had no willpower left, so you finally surrendered to him.
he now has you in the palm of his hands, exactly how he wanted. he’d constantly be thinking of you, and all those times where he’s had to pleasure himself in order to get some form of satisfaction has now paid off; he could simply act out all of his horny thoughts on you now. and since he’s already got you where he wants, he wasn’t letting you go anywhere like you usually do. jake plays with the hem of your sweatshirt before lifting it up over your head, practically dying to kiss every inch of your body. he doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have someone as pretty and smart as you, but he’d never take it for granted— holding you within his grasp, carrying you back to your shared bedroom and gently placing you down onto the bed.
“my pretty baby.. ” jake couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off you for a second, drinking in the sight of you underneath him, it made him wanna tear you to shreds.
though he couldn’t do that just yet, he wanted to take his time with you. show you how much he truly appreciates and loves you. he definitely lied earlier when he said he’d be quick, there’s no way he’d be able to rush this. not when he’s had all this built up sexual tension that’s been eating at him since the last time you two fucked. the neediness of his actions were more than telling of his intentions, you knew he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him— if not more. plus, how could you refuse that puppy dog look he’s given you ?? he made you go crazy just from his facial expressions alone.
his hands slowly traveled up to caress your breasts, the pads of his fingers swiping over it’s hardened bud, rubbing in slow, lazy circles. he loves the way your body reacts to his touch, how you’d arch your back just from the feel of him. your low moans and whimpers were enough to make him go even more feral than he already is, feeling his cock twitch just from the way you’d sound. he craved you more than anything right now. you bit your lip when his mouth wraps around the base of your nipple, his hand working it’s way down to cup your clothed core, getting a feel of how much of a dripping mess you were for him.
“mmh.. so wet for me already babygirl,” he giggles when noticing the dampness of your panties. you seriously couldn’t believe you’ve fucked yourself over his touch just for exams. you often found yourself subconsciously humping your pillow to the thought of him, wishing that his face was buried between your legs instead of it. your body grew so sensitive over time, it was like you forgot how good he made you feel..
“need you so bad baby.. let me relieve all the stress and tension out of you..” his voice was low, full of lust and desire for only you. he kept teasing you with his fingers, enjoying every minute of you writhing and squirming under his body. he’s missed this dearly, and he was going to take full advantage of this. your mind drew itself blank, unable to think of anything but your beautiful boyfriend on top of you. you judd your hips up against his hand, building a steady rhythm to match his, the friction driving you absolutely insane.
“oh..fuck-” you let out a gasp when his thumb “accidentally” brushes over your clit, his hands shift to tug the fabric of your panties down as fast as he possibly could— but that didn’t stop him from continuing his little torturous teasing spree.
his head rested perfectly between your plush thighs, staring down at your pretty, glistening folds, tracing his finger everywhere expect where you needed him most. “mm.. jake, quit teasin’..” you whined out of frustration, which only made him giggle even more, until he finally complies with your demand.
“you’re right, my hardworking girl deserves a reward. doesn’t she ?” he looks up at you with a devious smirk plastered on his lips, all while sinking two digits into your small entrance— making you cry out from the sudden fill he’s added.
“spread your legs wider for me baby.” you didn’t even hesitate upon hearing that command, legs shooting open immediately. keeping your thighs open with your hands so jake could get a better look at your sopping cunt.
“feels good, huh ? you missed having my fingers inside you ?” he continuously thrusts in and out, gradually increasing his speed as you’re on the verge of falling apart. he absolutely loved seeing you like this, it’s what he lives for. he felt so accomplished knowing that only he can make you feel this way; no one else could ever have the same effect on you that he does.
jake knew you were far too weak to speak, your moans echoing the walls of the room was pure music to his ears. with just a curl of his fingers, your walls cinch around them greedily, watching as they’d disappear into your tight hole. your whole body trembles, as you cupped your breasts to knead them gently.
“fuck, you’re so hot. such a pretty little pussy, all for me.” he pants softly, taking in the sight of your eyes squeezing shut, how you were so overwhelmed already. he could bust just from this alone.
his head dips down in between your thighs, latching his mouth to your clit. he’d switch from harshly sucking to lapping his tongue on the swollen bud, eliciting the prettiest sounds out of you. “taste so fucking good baby. could eat you out all damn day..” he praised again, drowning himself in your sweetness.
you don’t know how much more you can possibly take but you firmly pull on his hair for leverage, tightly tugging it not even registering that it could possibly hurt him. but he doesn’t complain, his free hand caresses your thigh gently, flicking his tongue rapidly on your clit and drinking up your wetness, you taste like a dream. you mewl slightly above a whisper, forgetting how to use your own voice. his mouth was making you feel more than amazing, better than anything you’ve felt before.
“ ‘m gonna come !..” your hand now held onto his hand for support, lacing your fingers to intertwine with his. you grind your hips harder, feeling like you’re about to explode.. your juices squirt onto his fingers and his chin, making a mess all over the sheets beneath you, in utter utopia from the intensity of your orgasm.
“shit..baby” he moaned, licking his lips to savor every taste of you. he lifts his head up, beaming with a rush of excitement to finally have you take his cock. “get up,” it sounded a lot more demanding than he thought, but he couldn’t wait any longer. he was so horny that he wouldn’t even be surprised if he nuts the minute he enters you, (but thankfully he won’t because that would simply defeat the whole purpose of everything).
you did as you were told and quickly got up to land yourself on top of him. it’s obvious what he wanted you to do, he wants you to ride him while he looks up at your pretty face. it’s one of his favorite positions, not only does he get to lay back and let you do all the work but he secretly loves that you’re the one in control.
“mm.. that’s my girl,” he groans once you hover over his length, gently stroking the base of his shaft. his hands slid up to find purchase on your hips.
his embrace felt all the more than loving— it was familiar, warm, and protective. skin on skin, body to body; beautifully unraveling as one. your mouth flung open when you slid yourself inside but no audible noise came out— it was but a silent scream. he was sporting a semi-hard on but once fully submerged and accustomed to you tightening around him, your walls could feel his length slowly swell up inside you, it was one of those indescribable feelings that you cherish forever.
“better start moving baby, this dicks not gonna ride itself.” he playfully demands, slightly bucking his hips up to feel some motion, “or do you want me to do all the work instead, hm ?” that offer was extremely tempting, but it’s not like he wasn’t going to do that later on.
“n-no, wanna ride you jakey… i’ll start moving” you stutter, shakily rutting your hips against him, he fills you up so perfectly as if his cock was designed solely for you. placing both palms on his broad shoulders for anchorage whilst raising your hips to now finally properly ride his fully erect.
“fuck… s-so big— so full..” you don’t think you’ll ever get used to how he stuffs you completely. his low grunts were the most melodic tone to your ears, along with his heavy panting and nails digging into the dips of your hips— he had your head spinning.
jake was enthralled with the fact only he could have you like this, a pretty little whining mess just for him. his cock throbbing in you intensely made you clench around the thickness, mouth falling back open to reveal a long strand of your saliva, this only brought him more joy as he pulled you in for another kiss, moaning nonstop into his mouth. you picked up a steady rhythm while riding him, moving up and down as you thread your fingers in his soft hair, feverishly making out with him. it all felt too good, he felt unreal, it became almost too much for you.
you gnawed at his lower lip when you pulled slightly away, leaving another string of your spit connected together; he drove you madly insane. his attention went soaring elsewhere now, producing wet kisses along your side profile, to your neck, gently sucking and biting on the skin to admit a reaction. a deliberate shriek leaves your mouth, feeling your muscles tighten as you tremble, he left more faint love bites to your collarbone and visible bite marks to your shoulder. he notices your struggle to stay balanced and shifts his arm, firmly on your waist to keep you in place.
“love the way you take this dick like a pro babe, you’re fucking amazing.” he praised you over and over, his words of encouragement helping you build quicker stamina, bouncing on his cock as if you were deprived of it for months (technically speaking you were, but maybe not for that long).
“you know i love you right princess ?” he husks, assuring that this’ll always mean something more than just sex to him, you were far from disposable, his love runs deeper than you could ever imagine.
“y-yes jake, i do. i love you t-too— mmh fuck !” your head plunges backward when he thrusts his cock back into you to match your movements, bringing one of his veiny hands to come rub your ass, sinking you further into him.
you kept a steady pace as you lower your middle finger to play with your clit as you rode him, the extra stimulation to your nub had your head dropping lower in reverse. you were so excruciatingly wet all you could hear were his hard breaths mixed with your soaking arousal slamming into his cock, only thing running through your mind was getting to milk him empty once you both reach your climax. a moan slips the both of your lips in unison as you scrunched your eyes shut from euphoric sense of pleasure.
“no no, look at me baby— keep ‘em open.” he ordered. your eyes flicker open once again, obediently following his rules, giving him the eye contact he so desperately craves.
“love looking at this pretty face every single fucking day,” he groans, still holding your hips securely in his grasp, “all of this is mine, mine, mine.” each time he’d say it another deep stroke would slam into your cervix. a final hit to your sweet spot had you trembling under him, crying out his name while screaming at the top of your lungs— you can tell he was getting close too by his chest heaving and sultry grunts and moans laced with an endless loop of your name being said.
your face contorts from your nearing orgasm imploding you, the o-shape formation of your lips taking over, “g-gonna come jake… can feel it !” a drawn out sigh leaving your breath as you catch it.
“yeah ? gonna make a mess all over this cock ?” he felt you clench around him at his every word, your hand reaches down to your bud caressing it slowly ready to reach your high again.
“go ahead baby, let go for me.” he grants your undying wish with those words, chasing your high as you finally let go, cream leaking down the sides of his cock.
“fuck, so good.. such a good girl for me.” he felt himself closer to the edge, “where do you want my cum this time babe ?” he asks impatiently.
“inside, inside me please !” you practically beg for it, eyes growing heavy, and your breathing becomes irregular. you soon felt your walls being coated with his thick, hot cum, filling you up with every last drop. you instantly collapsed onto his chest, completely drained and worn out by the end. the room remained silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s company, lost in his warm embrace.
“hmm.. what about now ?” jake broke the quite atmosphere with his random question, leaning closer to peck the side of your face, “how does my breath smell now ??” he teased from earlier’s incident.
“oh my god, shut up,” you turned away from him with hot cheeks. “what does it smell like huh ?” he laughed at your embarrassed state.
“go away !” you pushed him off of you to go do your little pee pee check. “smells like your yummy little pussy, donnit baby !” he watched you hop into the bathroom.
“my pee too loud ! can’t hear you !!” you shut the bathroom door with a tiny giggle.
you could still hear jake hysterically laughing in the background.
2 am smut hits differentt >:33 had to post a cute lil fluffy fic for my jakey pooh cs he’s so cutieful hehehe <3
also, hii lee ik ur reading this loll ilyyy .+(´^ω^`)+ .
@leeechin ♡︎
#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#jake smut#sim jaeyun smut#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enha smut#enhypen drabbles#sim jaeyun x reader
2K notes
·
View notes