#Dizzy Tries To Make Plans Edition

[indecisive-dizzy]

why is asking a friend if they're busy so Nauseating bruuhh

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Mutually Assured Disaster

How I imagine the first meeting from @the-b1ah  AU here. I plan to write Danny’s first patrol with Jason and maybe the training as well.

This isn’t edited so if you see any errors please let me know.

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Danny skidded around a corner, his shoulder slamming into the brick wall but there was no time to worry about that bruise and it did stop him faster. He took off again down this ally, a energy blast slammed into the wall just behind him and he gritted his teeth, flinching but not making any noise or slowing down, he needed all the air he had to run. He was already so weak from what the GIW had already done to him but this was his only chance, the transfer to their facility in Gotham. He could sense that the city was a never-born in its own way and it was closing ranks to protect him, walls shifting in perceptible ways to open up passages for him, guiding him towards something and slowing the agents down.

He was so weak and the cuffs still on his wrists stopped him from phasing through anything, all he could do was run, feeling the blood and ecto pumping through his veins quicker with each step. It stained the white pants and scrub shirt they had given him, he was getting dizzy, his quick breathing rasping over a dry throat and his legs burning but he couldn’t stop. Not when he had just now started to sense what Gotham was sending him towards.

It was a signature like his own! Another undead, someone who could help him and hopefully would. Gotham felt to warm to be sending him to someone who would hurt him or be taken too, he trusted her as one of the never-born ancients, she wanted what was best for the city that was hers. He tried to turn another corner, fell, rolled and managed to stagger back to his feet though it sapped his momentum and tore open a few more old wounds. His eyes landed on a tall, broad man wearing a red helmet that completely covered his face. That was him!

“Help me,” Danny gasped desperately, “Please.” He hadn’t even noticed there was a gun trained on him until it snapped to the opening of the ally. Danny scrambled behind the strange man, making himself small as the guys and white came sprinting around the corner as well, blasters pointed at them.

“Return the fugitive!” They demanded as Danny’s abused legs finally gave out and he sunk to his knees with a soft whine, praying that this man would be enough to keep them both safe.

“Fugitive? That’s a whole ass child, why are you chasing a child with guns?” Red Hood demanded furiously, his own guns trained on the two agents.

“They might look like a child but their an extremely dangerous meta. We know Batman doesn’t like metas in Gotham, so we’ll just take him and go.” The agent said starting to approach only for hood to fire a warning shot at his feet making the man step back.

“Fuck what batman wants, this is my territory and I don’t let anyone hurt kids. Meta or not,” He snarled.

Danny heard the sound of one of the blasters charging up and gasped, looking up frantically. “Look out,” He yelled, lunging forward just in time to accidentally take the blast to the side instead, well he had meant to push hood out of the way but this worked too he supposed. He didn’t even have enough air to scream, whining through gritted teeth as he collapsed to the ground, curling in on himself and shielding his head as the air around him was filled with the sound of gun shots. It felt like forever that he lay there curled in on himself defensively as his head swam and blood and ectoplasm seeped out the new hole in his side, joining the dozens of other injuries he had.

Then it was quiet, and after another second there was a hand on his shoulder, Danny flinched violently away from the touch. “Hey kid, it’s just me,” the robotic voice assured and in that moment Danny had never found anything more comforting. He looked up and around, seeing that he and the man in the red hood were the only things left alive in that alley.

Danny gasped and nearly threw himself into the older man’s arms, he gave a startled sound but caught Danny as he trembled and clung, tears running down his cheeks as he struggled to catch his breath. “It’s alright kid, I’ve got you,” Red assured, shifting his hold on Danny so he could pick up the teenager when he stood. “Let’s get you to a hospital huh?” He asked, only for Danny to choke and frantically shake his head. “Alright, no hospital, will you let me patch you up then?” He asked, nodding firmly when Danny sniffled and nodded as well.

“Alright, I have a safe house near here,” He said, turning away from the small pile of bodies he’d left in the alley and carrying Danny towards, hopefully somewhere safe. The way that Gotham curled protectively around them seemed to say it would be. “I’m Red Hood, what’re you called kid?”

“Danny Phantom,” The kid whispered against Jason’s chest.

“That’s an odd name,” Hood said blandly and Danny might have laughed if he had the breath, if it wouldn’t have hurt to much to do so.

“So is Red Hood. I had another name, but I can’t use it anymore,” he murmured brokenly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jason asked, and only received a little shrug in return. “Alright fair enough,” Jason said with a shrug, shifting to hold Danny with one arm so he could jump up and drag down the fire escape, climbing up so he could duck through the window of one of his many apartments scattered through his territory.

He carried Danny through into the bathroom, putting him down on the edge of the tub carefully before flipping on the light. “You up to having a shower before I look after your wounds, just to rinse off the blood? I’ll grab you some clean clothes, my little brother left some stuff here that should fit you.”

“Sure,” Danny agreed softly. “It’s not as bad as it looks, I’m pretty damn tough. But, before that could you.. try and take these off please?” He asked, holding out his arms to show Hood the cuffs still around his wrists, the suppressors. There had been a chain between them but it was broken, he’d managed to snap it during the chase.

“You’re not going to cause any problems for me or my city are you? I know suppressors when I see them,” Jason asked, low and dangerous. Danny’s eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously, slowly pulling his arms back and hugging himself.

“No, I know what they said, but I’m not actually dangerous I promise. I mean I probably could be dangerous if I wanted to be, but I don’t, I’ve only ever wanted to protect people but they-, they just didn’t see that.”

Shit the kid was crying again, Jason hadn’t meant to do that, but he had needed to know and Danny’s answer was obviously true, kid wore his heart on his sleeve. Jason sighed and dug in his pocket for his lockpicks before holding out his hand for Danny’s. “Alright, I believe you, let me get those off for you,” He agreed.

Danny reluctantly let Jason take one of his wrists, watching as Jason struggled a little with the cuff, muttering a little about paranoid people. The second one was faster, Danny rubbed his wrist and murmured thanks. “No worries,” Jason said as he stood. “Now you shower, I’m going to grab you some clean clothes.

Danny watched Hood leave, taking the cuffs with him before quickly stripping off the bloody clothes and getting into the shower. He flushed out the worst wounds before icing them over and scrubbing the blood and filth off of him from weeks of imprisonment. Jason knocked to make sure he was alright a couple of times before Danny finished and got out, wrapping a towel around his waist and sitting back down on the edge of the tub. “Alright, you can come in. You don’t have to worry about the cuts really though, I’ll heal.”

Jason let himself in, pausing for a moment when he saw the ice, or maybe the extent of Danny’s wounds which were… well they were pretty damn bad. At least they hadn’t gotten around to fully vivisecting him yet. “Whether you’ll heal or not you’ll heal faster and with less scarring with some proper stitches. Can you melt the ice as well?” Hood asked and Danny nodded. “Good, you can melt it as we deal with them then. Do you want a painkiller first?”

“No point, they don’t work properly on me,” Danny said with a shrug making Jason wince.

“That must suck,” He sympathized as he got out the first aid kit and set up what he’d need to clean and suture the wounds. Danny shrugged again, he didn’t seem talkative but he was very cooperative as Jason asked him to melt the ice on various wounds to let him check them.

“So did those guys do all this to you?” Jason asked and Danny blinked at him.

“You don’t know about them?” He asked, already knowing the answer when Red hood gave him a pointed look Danny could sense even through that helmet.

“Nooo,” he drawled, “Should I?”

“They’re a government agency called the Ghost Investigation Ward,” Danny told him softly. Jason snorted only to realize Danny was completely serious. “They’ve been hunting anything with a high enough ecto-signiture for years, so you need to be careful Red. Gotham is hiding you, but especially after they see how they helped me they’ll be after you too.”

“Ecto-signiture?” Jason asked blankly, what the Fuck was that?

“Anything like us. People who died, and didn’t come back, or came back wrong,” Danny explained and Jason let out a soft startled sound.

“How the fuck did you know that?!” he asked, defensive on instinct, only calming down a little when Danny lifted his hands in a pacifying gesture.

“Like often recognizes like,” Danny said with a little shrug again.

“Fine,” Jason grumbled, letting it go for now rather then thinking anymore about his own death, or Danny’s for that matter, the kid didn’t look any older then Jason had been when he had died, younger maybe. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” Danny said, sounding relieved. Grabbing the clothes that Jason had brought for him since they were done looking after his wounds now. “Those idiots wouldn’t believe I actually needed to eat no matter how many times I told them I did. They just punished me for pretending to be human,” Danny said making Jason freeze as rage flared inside him, breathing through the green flickering on the edges of his vision as he thought about how Danny had been treated. “Hood,” Danny said softly, and Jason felt a hand on the vigilantes arm.

Danny started to hum, an odd purring sound that didn’t sound particularly human, and to Jason’s surprise after a moment something within Jason started to resonate to the sound. Jason calmed quickly as the place reverberating inside him sent waves of calm the way the pit usually radiated rage. “Okay now?” Danny asked with a smile and Jason nodded, blinking out of the slight daze before he cleared his throat and turned away abruptly, heading to the kitchen to start cooking, Danny following him like a silent shadow, his feet not making any sound on the floor.

“You just lay down on the couch and rest, any allergies?” Jason glanced over and Danny shook his head, Jason nodded, made a choice and took off his helmet, glad he’d warn a mask under it tonight. He wouldn’t exactly be able to taste the food or eat with the mask on after all, and he had a feeling that he was going to be spending more time with Danny, at least until he was healed.

“Do you have anywhere else to go?” He asked, just to confirm his thoughts. He decided to make omelettes since they were quick and it was fun to have breakfast for dinner sometimes.

“No, my sister doesn’t have a place of her own, and my parents would either sell me back to the GIW or dissect me themselves. I can look after myself though, now that you’ve got the cuffs off and the GIW off my tail I can avoid them from here. Something to eat and a little sleep and  I can be gone by morning,” he said with a determined set to his jaw.

“Absolutely not!” Jason said, pointing the spatula at Danny and lowering it quickly when the boy flinched. “I’m not leaving a kid alone on the streets, let along one who’s not from Gotham! You’ll stay with me till we find you somewhere else safe to go,” Jason said firmly and Danny hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Okay, but once I’m healed I can help! You’re one of Gotham’s vigilantes right? I’ll fight with you.”

“Also no, I’m a vigilante but I’m no Batman, I don’t do kid-heroes, you’re to young for this life,” Hood insisted, flipping the eggs.

“You’re about two years to late for that,” Danny snorted and Jason nearly dropped the food, cursing softly when he messed up the omelette. Oh well it would still taste good it just looked a bit more ugly.

“Excuse me? How old are you?”

“I’ll be 16 in a bit more then a month,” Danny said sounding sulky. “And I’m not going to stop helping people no matter what you think. I have these powers, I want to use it for something good.”

“You’ve been acting as a hero on your own since 14!?” Jason demanded, and the look of shame on Danny’s face was all the answer Jason needed. “Fine, you can come with me. But you have to hang back, stay safe, and fucking listen to me. Got it? I’m not having your death on my conscious!” Jason insisted and tried not to be pleased by how Danny immediately brightened and grinned at him.

“Thank you! It’s going to be so nice not to have to do all this alone! To have a proper mentor, maybe?” He asked, getting softer and more uncertain at the end.

“Sure, sure. The bats are gonna have a heart attack when they find out. They’re probably going to try to steal you,” Jason joked and Danny snorted.

“I don’t want that, they’re too goody goody for me thanks. Besides, you’re like me and I was able to calm you down wasn’t I? I can help you more,” Danny said, and Jason decided not to suggest Danny might be better off with the bats. Maybe it was selfish, but he did want the help Danny offered, and he was already attached to the kid.

“Fine, but you’re not going anywhere until you’re completely healed, and you’ve showed me what you can do. We’ll practice together and once I think we’re a good enough team then you can come out with me. And I want to know everything you know about the GIW and whatever laws enable them to get away with this bullshit, because we’re going to have to do something about that too.”

“Of course!” Danny agreed and Jason could see him practically vibrating with excitement, he had to suppress a smile so Danny wouldn’t catch on to how cute Jason found that. He really shouldn’t, but it was to late now.

“Good. Now come eat,” Jason grumbled, transferring the first omelet onto a plate and handing it to Danny.

Part 2: here

[littlemochabunni]

The Siren's Song

Shanks x Fem Reader

Content: 18+ MDNI, PWP, Song dystopia, Light bondage (Shanks), Rough sex, PIV, Mean Shanks (like come on this man isn't goofy 100% of the time), Siren reader, praise (doll, baby), degrading (slut), & "creampie"

A/N: With the Shanks x reader tags growing quiet I needed to show Daddy Shanks the love he deserves. The people have spoken and here's the smut you've been looking for; Thank Jordy for unleashing this nuclear bomb of horniess on your feed and Vixen for being another beta reader, hyping me up by asking if I put "crack in this fic". P.S. THANK YOU FOR 1.2K!!! Enjooooooy hehehehe Edit: ALSOOOOOO this is the song that inspired literally everything for this fic!!!

wc: 1.6k

“What the hell is going on, what are you?” You wrap your hand around Shanks’ neck tightly with a smirk ignoring his question, he grunts while trying to reach out to stop you only to find out his hands tied behind his back. You straddle his lap brushing your glistening heat against his aching cock, and you hum a taunting moan as you slowly drag your tongue along his jaw and an irritated hiss leaves his twitching lips he tries to pull away from your touch and you pull him closer, tightening your grip in response. A mischievous grin plastered on your lips as you watch his flushed lips turn a pretty shade of blue from the lack of oxygen, you take the opportunity to reach your free hand down to his quivering length sliding your slick cunt along his shaft to sink down onto, you cry out a sweet siren like moan that makes Shanks pulse quickens and dizzy with the sudden need for more, “Mmm, you might just be my new favorite toy, and oh how I can’t wait to break you~” your voice is like honeyed slick against his ears. Shanks feels a low pulsating buzzing in the air that immediately muted by the grip of your soft slick walls, and it pulls his attention back toward you and you menacing words behind your sweet tone, “Fuck… What the hell are y—” your walls tightening around him cuts him off and you lean in close to whisper in his ear, “Mmm I’m a plan B regular bitch.”

“Who the fuck are you?” He growls demandingly through his teeth, “Well I could be your little monster.” you grip his crimson hair as an airy moan fall from your lips as you ride his dick down to the hilt, his eyes darken when he feels his restraints loosen, “We’ll see who’s the fucking toy.” Shanks hands immediately grip your ass like a vice, you erupt in a menacing cackle as he stands to walk over to the heighten emperor size bed whilst still buried deep inside you. You claw on the nape of his neck as you hungrily capture his lips challenging him still for dominance, he grunts as he grips your hair harshly breaking the kiss, “You little minx. It’s time I finally breaks this little pussy in, yeah?”

Shanks throws you down onto the bed without warning and flips you onto your stomach with a bruising grip on your thighs and ass, and he growls deeply as he spreads your legs open pulling you towards the edge of the bed. You begin to snicker at him, but he swiftly cuts your taunting's short as he splits you open with his thick cock. You cry out at the deep stretching of your poor pussy walls, “Fuuuck... Now y’gonna tell me your name or do I have to fuck that outta you too?” Shanks leans down cage you in with his large figure, pushing his length deeper against your sweet spot and you throw your head back as the only response given are taunting moans that slip pass your smirking lips as you look up at him with a tantalized glimmer in your eyes, “The latter it is.” Shanks rolls his hips back slowly leaving only his girthy tip in your slick before slamming back into you at a vigorous pace. Your mind almost goes blank from the sudden shift in power, and Shanks looks down to watch your puffy pussy take his cock so well.

He lets out a gluttonous groan in your ear while pushing on the small bulge forming in your lower belly and smirks at you as your breath hitches, and you look up at him with a wild almost perilous look in your eyes, “Going dumb on the dick already doll?”

You face twitches with irritation at his cockiness, and before he can even blink the power flips back into your favor with you now on top of him riding his dick while yanking on his scarlet locks forcing him to look up at you. Your eyes filled with a devious and fascinated look as he groans out at your roughness, “Hey baby, I like when you piss me off,” You grit through your teeth while shifting your weight, you squat above his dick, taking him deeper and he grips your ass roughly guiding you. “Hey baby, usually means the sex its rough.” Shanks eyes flutter and his breath shutters as you twirl your hips as you bounce your sopping cunt down his thick cock, bring him closer to cumming, and he can’t be seen like some pitiful virgin.

He slams you down on his cock and flips you under him, folding you in half with your knees by the side of your face causing you to let out an almost maddening laugh, “Aye baby, take a picture when we fuck.” Your words brings out something atrociously hungry in Shanks, and a growl rumbles throughout his board chest, “Fuck you... You want it rough? Well, my little cum slut, I’m more than happy to give into you... That is of course... If you decide to tell me what’s is going on and who you are.” You grip the back of his neck to bend him closer to whisper with a noxiously insatiable tone in his ear, “It’s a freak show baby, I’m a ringleader. Like an acrobat in a dark area, I could dance both ways like a ballerina. Caught an emo bitch, she my man-eater.” Shanks couldn’t understand why he couldn’t pull himself away from you despite his mind telling him you’re no good, yet his body couldn’t resist not the need to be inside you. “You goddamn me—”

Shanks buries his cock down to the hilt while you moan out and your eyes roll back. He reaches down to lift your ass up to his height and leans down, pushing even deeper forming bulge bigger than before, “I’m sick of your twisted fucked up games. Hold your fucking legs back.” In this disheveled state you oblige into his demands and hold onto the back of your knees, and as you do so Shanks fucks your poor ridged walls onto his cock like the cock hungry doll you are. And despite his words Shanks body tells you otherwise, eager to pull more moans from your pretty lips and watch you fall apart under his touch, “Ahh~ mmmm did I hit a nerve Shaaanks?” as you moan his name, he groans out leaning down to wrap his hand around your throat tightly, pounding into your puffy pussy whilst a creamy ring form around the base of his dick, “Hmm with the way your pussy is gripping me I can tell you’re close. I might let you cum if you’re a good little doll and tell me who the hell you are, yeah?” Shanks presses against your sweet spot, and you throw your back wailing out exactly what he doesn’t want to hear, “Mooonster.. I’m a stone-cold monster I could be your little monster,”

You look up at him with an amorous noxious look in your eyes, grinning wickedly as you feel his cock twitching on the brink of release, “I’m stone-cold monster, I could be your little—“ Shanks smashes his lips against yours, swallowing your moans whilst his thrust become sloppily needing to chase after his high. The dark hallow room is filled with the sounds of the bed cracking and banging against the wall, you dig your claws into his back and his rough groans rumbles through your chest. Shanks reaches down the rub your clit practically delirious with the need to make you cum around his cock, you bite his lip harshly and he groans pulling away to bite your jaw and neck in response, your cries are like an aphrodisiac to him. You knew he was so fucking close, and the excitement of seeing the look on his face when he finds out the truth only made this so much sweeter, “Fuck cum for me. Fucking cum for me slut, I’ll fill this pretty little pussy up just how you like.” You moan out and grips his jaw to look make him look at you so you can get a good look at his flushed and disheveled state, “...Ohhh,” Shanks hears your voice echoing in his head, “Shoow... Ohhh,” He catches a glimpse of you sitting across from him at a table but he’s immediately pulled back into the addicting feeling of your tight cunt milking his cock of everything he has to offer you and he moans out as he spills ropes of hot cum deep inside you, “Mmm you wanted to know my name right, Shanks?” Shanks is still twitching inside your cunt and breathing heavily from one of the best nuts of his life, looks at you confused as a growing smirk forming on your lips as you finally the answer to the question, he’s been asking all night, “They call me an American Horror Show.”

“Oh, I don’t think a man like yourself could.... handle someone like her.” Buggy tries to warn Shanks as he pours himself another drink, and everyone at the table bursts into laughter. Shanks sends Buggy a sharp look and heeds his warnings as a challenge, he gazes back towards you with a tantalizing smirk, “I’d like to see for myself if you don’t mind.” Everyone from buggy’s crew begin to plug their ears to avoid being caught in the crossfire of your siren song and without much hesitation, you pull Shanks into your dystopian song...

Tags: @honeeslust @ryomens-vixen @biscuitsngravie @blkkizzat @fuyuaika @halobuns @peachy-dove @arlerts-angel @stargirldelight

© littlemochabunni all rights reserved 2023-2024. Do not steal, copy, translate my work, or my banners.

[aurorangen]

10 Random Facts About Me

I was tagged by @druidberries and @faerun-s thank you so much 🥰

My height is 173cm and I am a Virgo ♍️

The other day, I went to the hairdressers for the first time in 3 years 😂 my mum usually cuts my hair every few months (no need to pay haha). She cuts 1-2 inches off the bottom and trims my curtain fringe a bit every time. I have a kind of wolf cut now, not too far off my usual style, but still, a bit different.

Binge-playing the sims is really hard for me because I get distracted easily and PROCRASTINATION 🙃. Mostly I play during the weekend to destress from life, but it was a few hours at a time. It was like a personal record posting daily and that was when I was really into it!!! I think I would be posting a lot more if not for this, plus I had several burnouts/breaks throughout the years. Playing two legacies really helped my motivation and it also kept my simblr alive 👍

Continuing from the previous! I'm a perfectionist and I'm really picky with my posts. 2-3 hours would be waiting for the game to load, letting the game do its thing for a bit, setting out scenes, then taking the pics. It's like making a movie 🎬 And that would only result in one post (no editing yet). I'd have planned what I wanted to do that day and written all my text/dialogue as I feel I don't want to play if idk what I'm doing.

I'm very clumsy!!!! The amount of times I have walked into something or banged my foot. This is TMI but I have broken my big toenails more than once lmao one time it was from playing basketball (I'm no good at it…and I was wearing sandals) and I dribbled it on my toe 😞

I have had bad acne in the past and have tried so many products to help with my skincare. My skin is a lot better now and mainly acne scars remain. Also drinking milk makes me break out and I didn't know it was a trigger back then. I have soya milk instead and it tastes just as good in tea (I love drinking tea).

I get motion sickness when playing particular games. I used to be fine, but one day I played COD with my brother and just couldn't handle the first-person view I was SICK 😵‍💫 I prefer third-person view in any game, but I still get dizzy if playing for too long. Sims is great because it's like GOD PERSON VIEW 😂 With games, I don't really play a lot now and sims is the only one!

I had no fizzy drinks for 5 years one time!!! I thought "let's see how long I can hold out for". During my first year of uni, I had a really bad flu and nothing helped. My mum told me to boil coke and ginger together (it's an old Chinese remedy lol) and it helped like MAGIC 🤩 There went my 5 years of cutting it out and now I drink it sometimes!

I was close to studying architecture at uni. I studied computer science and 3d design at A level, but was unsure of an artsy route or technical one. I loved both and I knew I wanted to do something with maths. In the end, I went with engineering because it had more opportunities with me still being able to program (thanks to robotics and electrical modules), design stuff (with CAD) and lots more 😊 IG that's why I live my architecture dreams through building in sims!! Speaking of...

I HAVE 🎓GRADUATED🎓 (graduation ceremony was the other day 🤭). The final year was really tough for me but I can't believe I have completed my undergraduate studies!!!

I will tag: @mikachusblog @duusheen @mdshh @sharona-sims @gingenr but feel free to ignore this 💖

[peiskos-and-apricity]

Fated to Fall ~ Sindri x Reader [Pt 8]

Tw: Cannon Typical Violence | Somewhat Graphic Mention of Gore

A/n: yet another not fully edited chapter. It's been so long now since I've updated this and it is mostly because I hate editing and it takes forever. So anyway, there might be some grammar mistakes. Please overlook these and enjoy! (Also I changed the cover art. I think I like the pixel art version better)

|Chapter Selection|

|Previous|

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Blood and viscera spilled in every direction as you continued forward, trying to find your way to where the others had run off. You were successful in fighting off the hoards of Einherjar with only minor injuries, but as you tried to run further towards the sounds of familiar voices in the distance, they only seemed to draw farther and farther away; Up until you couldn't hear anyone but yourself and the Einherjar that surrounded you. 

It was then you knew that you were in far more trouble than either of them were. Separated and lost, surrounded on all ends by endless hoards of enemies. So you soon abandoned the goal of finding them as you instead searched for any way out of this horrid place. For a while that too seems like an impossible task that stretched further and further from your reach. Then finally, just when you think you might not ever find a way out of the endless maze, you spot sunlight.

The way up isn't clear, frankly it seems it isn't a way one is supposed to get out of as much as it is a way to fall in. But at this point, covered in blood and bifrost, you're desperate to get out of this cesspit of Odin's army. And so you begin to scale the wooden and dirt walls. It is harder than you would have liked, and you nearly fall a couple of times when Einherjar notice where you've gone and begin to throw things at you. But be it by luck or pure endurance you somehow manage to pull yourself out of this hole in the ground. Scathed, tired and somehow still not regretting your decision to tag along on this trip.

Your relief was incredibly short lived, however, when the creatures of Svartalfheim come to get their piece of you. At this point your skin is near searing from both the heat of this wet, humid, dreadful place and the irritation that threatened to turn to bright golden anger. A metallic taste begins to take over your tongue as your vision mixes into a yellow color, a sure sign that your cloak was working even after all these years.

When you beat the beasts away and finally manage to find a moment of calm in the violence, you make an attempt to calm the fire that had grown under your skin and near begged to be set free. You were almost dizzy with adrenaline by then, making the task more than difficult. All the same you found a way to silence the flame, even if only temporarily, leaving it as only a low simmer under your skin.

It's then you find the energy to stand, where upon you finally feel the many injuries that litter your being. You let out a huffed sigh, the soreness of your body quite the inconvenience. You can already hear Kratos' scolding, already beginning to see how he might plan to trap you back with the dwarves the next time he planned to leave. The thought alone ruins the peace you had tried to bring yourself, the golden flecks snatched by the shadowed insides of your cloak the moment they appeared.

It was best you didn't think of this right now. You had other problems to deal with, mainly the fact that you had no idea where the others were and no way of getting back on your own. So you push the pain to the back of your mind, reminding yourself that you'd deal with it on your own later, before beginning to search the small island for the others.

You do this for quite a while, turning down many different corners and walkways, trying to find any sign of life that wasn't immediately hostile towards you. Eventually you hear arrows flying and creatures gargling their last breaths. You wander that direction, trying to stay out of view just in case it was more Einherjar.

"What if they're still in there? What if they can't get out!" you hear Atreus' voice first, another of his arrows loosening into the neck of one those disgusting creatures, unaware that one is coming up right behind him. Kratos' back is turned, Tyr is no where to be seen.

"I'm sure they've made it out somehow lad, we just have to- behind you!" Just as the creature goes to attack him you throw your ax at full force, the blade spinning before lodging directing in the side of the creatures head, it's body falling limp as Atreus pushes the falling body away from him. You watch as each of their heads snap back into your direction. For a moment they both reach for their weapons, though its only a moment later that they realize it's only you.

"Y/n!" Atreus calls to you excitedly and you somehow find the energy to wave in acknowledgment of his words. His look falls quickly when he notices the sheer amount of blood that covers you.

"Oh...looks like you had a rough time in there" he states the obvious. You catch up to them and try to avoid Kratos' stare.

"What gave it away?" Despite how much you try to hide it there is still a sharpness to your tone.

"Maybe try not to run off like that in the future" you politely suggest before giving him a light bump on the shoulder. He looks immediately guilty.

"Is the coast clear? Are they gone?" A frightened voice you hardly recognize calls from a set of bushes nearby. You are more than a little surprised to see the tall, goldened eyed old god pull himself to his feet and peak through shaking hands. Atreus must have seen the look on your face with strained smile he tried to comfort you with.

"Yeah, we should be good" Atreus answers him. With tentative footsteps this contradiction of a god steps forward, eyes catching yours as you desperately try to hide the utter confusion on your face.

"Ah, you must be the one we were looking for. Y/n is it?" He asks, the worry slowing leaving his posture.

"Yes. And you...are no longer running?" you announce your observation as a question, one that seems to make him a little nervous again.

"I was...unwell. my mind- it isn't what it used to be" he reasons and you can't help but feel a little bad for him. 

"We all lose ourselves sometimes. In all honesty I'm surprised to see you as well as you are, considering you've been thought dead for so long" you try to give him leeway, a hint of breathing room so that he might grow a little more comfortable.

"I appreciate the kindness" he returns your courtesy. It is then that Kratos makes his way over, pushing past Tyr without hardly any care and standing much closer to you than you would have prefered. His eyes glance over your entire being before staring straight into your eyes. Silence is all there is for a moment as your pull enough of your strength together to stand tall and proud in front of him, trying your best to hide away the soreness that covered every inch of your being. Eventually, thank Ymir, he speaks.

"You are well?" He asks, voice rough and perhaps a little agitated. You answer with a nod, still not backing down from him in the slightest. He stares for just a second longer before giving a firm nod, a slight grumble and turning right back around. You let out a quiet sigh of relief before the five of you move along, following Kratos' silent lead.

-

"The hel you doin?" Broks voice makes the gold plated dwarf jump out of his focused state for just long enough to wave a hand and grumble at him.

"Busy" he manages a word, his hands moving quickly over a page, trying to keep his work consistent. Brok tsks at this.

"Oh. So when you're busy with somethin'-"

"Sh!" Sindri suddenly shushed him, his head popping up as he folds his work and pauses to listen.

"Oh yer really asking for-"

"Sh! Shut up!" Sindri yells, hands held up to silence him, an action that baffles Brok into actually listening for a moment. It's long enough for Sindri to hear voices.

"They're back!" He announces as he makes haste to the front door, Brok lingering behind at the workbench. When Sindri opens the doors he's met with a sight he truly hadn't believed was possible.

"Lord Tyr? You're really alive!" Sindri manages to speak past his astonishment.

"Am I, I wonder?" He answers and that certainly throws Sindri off quite a bit.

"Okay?" The word slips past his lips, his sudden hesitance not at all hidden.

"He's just tired," Atreus tries to assure him.

"I promised him some food and a room to rest in" the boys promise was expected, though Sindri couldn't help the small voice of annoyance that bit at him anyway. His home was becoming quite crowded and crowded meant more messes, which meant more cleaning, which meant more encounters with whatever viscera they brought in. He could imagine it already.

"Ah, of course you did" he tried his best to not let his annoyance show too much. He was, after all, in the presence of two Gods of war. Best not to go stepping on any toes.

"Well, let's see what we can do. Please, come inside" he invites them all in despite the itch of disgust that comes with the dirt and grime that follows.

"Uh, we'll be right in!" Atreus waves him off before shutting the door behind Tyr. He sees the giant of a god turn over his shoulder for just a moment to glance at the shut door.

"Well I'll be!" Brok, hands on his hips and the widest grin on his face, speaks up.

"Hello" Tyr speaks to him, but it is an extra moment before the god actually turns to face Brok at all.

"Well get your ass on over here! I'll get those cuffs off ya" his brother beckons him and Tyr goes without any complaint. To Sindri's horror, Brok stands on the workbench.

"Brok!" He yells, the blue dwarf barely turning to meet his eyes before focusing back on Tyr.

"Get these off'n no time. You just gotta stay put" his brother completely ignores him and Sindri sends him daggers before he swallows his disdain and simply adds it to the list of chores he's racking up. His arms cross as he holds himself back from boiling over, his eyes instead turning to the front door as he waited.

A moment later Kratos and Atreus enter, though he notices that you don't. He goes to questions where you might be but he catches a glimpse of you just as the door shuts. His mind floods with questions, most of them curious as to what the three of you talked about and why exactly you decided you didn't want to come inside. It was getting late after all and he was sure you must be tired by now, or at the very least wanting to rest. Especially after that little escapade.

All of the questions are thrown out the window, however, when he catches a far too familiar look in Atreus' eyes.

"See? Sleep tight Tyr. I'm gonna turn in. Big day tomorrow" Atreus avoids turning to anyone in particular as he makes haste to his room. Sindri knows right then that he's up to no good.

-

You sit in the quiet of the outside as the others turn in for the night. Your body is worn and tired but you knew even now that sleep would not come easy. You didn't want to bother with trying, as you weren't particularly in the mood to toss and turn in silence. You decided it best to just start with the carving Sindri had wanted, hoping to distract yourself with the small thing. You had thought, perhaps foolishly, that you would find peace here. The others would sleep and you would be allowed to let your conscious waiver into pure focus. Just you, the swiping of your small blade and the slight chewing in the distance.

You really should have known the boy wouldn't stay put.

"Let's just go talk to the snake first and then-"

"Sh!" Voices, just a few feet away. Some horrible attempt at whispering, you think. You continue with your carving, hoping to figure out just what they thought they were doing.

"Oh...Oh well, looks like we can't go. Why don't we just turn around and-"

"Hold on. It's just Y/n" to their credit they did grow quieter. But still, not exactly the most discrete.

"I think I have an idea. Just play along," you simply can't wait to see what he's going to come up with this time. Somehow he still manages to surprise you, though, when he oh so confidently stands from behind the gate.

"Hey, Y/n!" He calls over to you, trying to get your attention, though he kept his voice just quiet enough to not be heard inside. You allow a second before you turn to him.

His smile is lopsided: deceptive. A look you've grown to recognize quickly, considering how many times you've had to dig him out of the trouble he's made when that look crosses his face. He waves you over and you can only sigh before sliding the tools in your hands back into your bag and going to find out what he was going to get himself into now.

"Not tired?" You ask him. He laughs in a way too nervous for you not to miss.

"I was...going to ask you that" his smile isn't hiding anything well. You give a glance at Sindri who almost immediately avoids your eyes before turning back to Atreus.

"A little, if you must know. I can imagine you feel the same" you watch the boy grow a little more confident at your answer. He hadn't caught that you were just playing along yet.

"Yeah. I just wanted to check on you before going to bed. You need sleep too, y'know" you would have felt quite touched if he wasn't lying straight to your face.

"Oh? And what about you Sindri?" You ask, turning to the dwarf

"Just coming to check in on me?" Your eyes are fixated on him as he just absolutely fumbles on his words. A mixture of half sounds and stray noises that might be considered sentences in the loosest term. Finally it seems he manages something coherent.

"I was just making sure he wasn't getting himself into trouble!" He blurts out. You almost feel bad with how nervous your stare had made him, so you turn back to Atreus.

"And I'm assuming you want me to head inside then?" You ask and he immediately lights up. He thinks he's gotten somewhere. He thinks you don't know him by now.

"I think it would probably be for the best. We've all got a big day tomorrow!" You watch him become even slightly convincing at the last possible moment. You smile as you cross your arms. You had to admit, it was a cute attempt.

"Was that your plan?" He's hit with confusion.

"What do you mean?" He shifts where he stands.

"You were going to try and send me to bed before sneaking off" you watch as he crumbles, utterly lost at what to say for a moment before he lets out a huff.

"No!" he retorts and he gets a raise of an eyebrow from you.

"Would you like to try something else, then?" you see him freeze, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He can't find his words and it seems Sindri couldn't take it any longer.

"We are going to find Jörmungandr!" he finally admits, Atreus turning to him as if he had betrayed him.

"That's all?" You ask, eyes turning between the both of them. Atreus seems defeated, his head hung low and his shoulders with it. He manages a mumbled response.

"And Freya" at that you are truly shocked.

"You...want to find Freya? The woman that has been trying to kill us for all of Fimbulwinter?" You are beyond baffled. What possible reason would he have to seek her out? In what way could that ever go well in his head?

"That's what I was trying to tell him!" Sindri pipes in again and the boys face scrunches. His eyes meet yours with a sharp look only hindered slightly with the puppy eyes he so readily used against everyone.

"We need allies! And we used to be friends! I don't think she's beyond reasoning, she's just-..." the boy tries to defend himself and it isn't convincing in the slightest. You sigh, knowing that this couldn't possibly go well.

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?" Your answer is his continued stare at you, eyes fully ready to do what he must to get what he wants. If you had to describe this stubborn boy in one word it would be bull-headed. It seemed there were no amount of no's that could stop him. A glance down at Sindri shows he's just as worried as you are.

"I want you to know that this is reckless. And foolish. And downright stupid" your words have a bite to them that has Atreus looking away, avoiding looking at you all together. You take a deep breath before you continue.

"But if you must then I know you will. So I will do the bare minimum of at least accompanying you" they both seemed relieved at your words. You imagine for completely different reasons.

"And you're not going to tell father?" He asks, finally stepping out from the other side of the gate.

"Do you really think this is the first time I've caught you sneaking out?" his eyes turn as wide as a full moon.

"...well until you said that; kinda, yeah" You snicker at his reaction and begin walking to the gateway with them not too far behind. The boy falls into silence for a moment before he turns up, a question written in his eyes.

"How many times did you-?"

"More times than I cared to count" you speak over your shoulder as you wave the two along. You try to ignore the dull wounds that still haven't fully healed themselves.

-

You had to admit, despite the odd Draugr and getting covered in Jörmungandr's disgusting slobber, this little outing was proving to be rather fun. You stayed quiet, for the most part, but enjoyed the babbling of the two as they went along with this little adventure of theirs. It was quite sweet, the relationship they had built. If you were being honest it was nice to see Atreus a little less tense, given how rigid he always was around his father. However, by the time the three of you were heading towards where Freya was last seen, you couldn't help but regret having let him get this far.

“All I'm saying, Atreus, is that she clearly isn't stable. You don't know what she might do. Just because she liked you before doesn't mean-”

“Look, I get the concern but you gotta trust me. She might be Hel bent on killing father, but she hasn't really tried to kill me yet. She's-…She just needs to understand we were trying to help her. And that the bigger threat is Odin” He must truly believe he's untouchable.

“In her mind she has every reason to kill you. To do the same to Kratos as he has done to her. Do you not worry at all that she would take every opportunity imaginable? She believes she has nothing to lose” you try once again to waiver him from this reckless goal. 

“She wouldn't. She's better than that” By all living gods was he stubborn. You hardly remembered a time he'd ever wavered from his convictions. A double-sided blade, that trait is. You hoped today wouldn't be the day he killed himself with it.

“You are impossible” you speak with a defeated sigh. Slowly the three of you walk to a sudden edge, a steep drop below. You have no problems bracing it, hardly even thinking about it. Turning back, however, you see the two of them hesitate. It's then you realize the jump might be a little steep for the dwarf.

“Perhaps this is a sign” he mutters, his eyes cautious as he stares into the opening. 

“Don't be a baby, I'll catch you! Promise not to drop you this time” Atreus’ words catch your attention as he falls to your side, an almost amused look creeps on your face.

“You've dropped him?” You ask and the boy hardly hides his guilt with a nervous laugh.

“It was one time!” he tries to defend himself. A glance up shows just how embarrassed Sindri is by this.

“It was the only time!” You fight back a short laugh, only allowing a small smile to take form as you stare up at the dwarf.

“If it makes you feel any better, I'll also be here to catch you this time” you tried to instill even a slight bit of confidence in him, though he still seemed deeply uneasy.

“I…” his voice wavers, still incredibly unsure about all of this. You almost immediately catch the boy about to be a smartass and quickly knock the sentence from him with a light hit on the back of his head.

"Hey-!" He turns to glare at you but your stare seems to disintegrate any resistance. Once you're sure he's going to keep his mouth shut you turn back up to Sindri.

“Worst thing that could happen is we both fall down” you try to reassure him.

“And I break my skull open!” He retorts. You huff a little.

“Look, I know Atreus’ promises mean very little-”

“Wha- That's not true!” The boy speaks up and you fail to fight a grin when he shoves you slightly, but you continue all the same, even if a chuckle is heard through your words.

“But my promises are as solid as steel, and I promise that it will be fine” your eyes lock on his and even through you jest you know he sees that you're serious. So, with a deep breath and tense posture, he finally agrees.

“Fine” he speaks through gritted teeth and both you and Atreus hold your arms out. It's only a few moments later he jumps. With little effort the two of you catch him. 

“See? Was that so bad?” Atreus speaks to him and you send a smile as you help him back to his feet. It's clear though that he is still very unhappy with the situation.

“I sincerely hope I never have to do it again, if that's what you're asking”

-

Tag list

@emmbny

[armysantiny]

Out in the rain – JJK

P: Jungkook x female reader | G: fluff, drabble | Inc: playing in the rain, fever, Bam mention, Jimin mention, Namjoon mention, Yoongi mention, grad student!Jungkook, dance teacher!Jimin, y/n's also a grad student, sleepy Kookie my beloved | Wc: 980| W: food cw| R: G

Summary: Jungkook initially thinks nothing of spending hours in the rain with Bam; it’s fun, and he likes spending time with his Doberman. Y/n gets her I told you so moment when a fever descends upon the grad student.

Min's notes; This was cute <33 the ending feels a lil rushed tho, but eh- I like where I left it

In hindsight, Jungkook knew spending hours in the rain with Bam wasn’t the smartest idea. He’d woken up feeling like several trains ran through him. He ached. Blinking through the brain fog, he groaned; lethargy, shivering and a sore throat? He would be an idiot to deny the facts – he was sick. Very sick, if the lead weight in his limbs were anything to go by.

How absolutely wonderful.

Flopping back into the comfort of his sheets with little resistance, Jungkook shifted around, overly uncomfortable. Everything was off-kilter, and he couldn’t help but whine in pain when his head throbbed from the squirming. Wishing for the pain to go away without actively getting up to find painkillers wasn’t doing much to help either.

“Love? Good morning— Jungkook?” Walking towards the boyfriend-shaped lump on the bed, y/n frowned, concern knitting her brows. “Are you okay?”

“…’m sick. Everything hurts.”

“Am I allowed to say it? A nod. “I told you so baby, it was pouring with rain yesterday. You stay here, I’ll go and get the thermometer.”

Luckily for y/n, Jungkook hadn’t planned on moving at all. In fact, he was quite happy to melt away underneath his duvet.

Peeping his head over the covers, Jungkook squinted as light poured through the gap in the door, exceedingly grateful that he invested in a good pair of blackout curtains. Saved from looking at the sunlight any longer once y/n re-entered the room, Jungkook returned to the comfort of being under his covers completely. He was shivering – nothing like being smothered under his covers couldn’t fix.

And then his precious duvet was torn away from him.

“Hello there~” y/n snickered as her boyfriend whined, “ can you lift your head for me bun? I need to check if you’re running a fever." Ruffling his sweat-damp hair, y/n hummed as she stuck the device in her sick boyfriend’s ear. Jungkook was definitely running a fever; he was a full two degrees above the human average. With a sigh, y/n set the device aside, wrapping her arms around Jungkook to help him sit up.

“How bad?”

“Very. Think you can make it to the living room?”

“Mhm…” Throwing his legs over the side, Jungkook hauled himself up, taking a grand total of three steps before wobbling, leaning into y/n’s open arms. Determined, the grad student blinked back the bout of dizziness as he tried to steady himself, huffing out an exhale. The fever wasn’t going to keep him down if he had anything to say about it.

Nursing a thermos of green tea with Bam curled up on the sofa, Jungkook read through his thesis for the third time that afternoon. As sick as he was, grad student responsibilities came first; his thesis needed to be worked on, whether he wanted to work on it or not. Coughing into his arm, the student read over his notes, content with simply editing the work he had already done. Alone in the apartment, he had no plans to move from his spot, risking his fate by leaving his front door unlocked.

He was a student, if someone decided to barge in, he’d welcome them in. Anything to escape university.

There was someone tapping his shoulder.

“…Kookie? Earth to Jeon Jungkook?” Opening his eyes only to immediately squint through the brightness of his overhead light, Jungkook made a noncommittal hum. “Oh thank fuck, you’re alive.”

“Jimin hyung?” Blinking as the blob in front him nodded, Jungkook hauled himself up with a weak groan, his vision swimming just that little bit more before it cleared up. His skin boiling, Jungkook made a frail attempt at fanning himself with his shirt, too exhausted to react to the way it clung to him and the sweat on his body. What he did react to, however, was the lack of Bam’s presence on his sofa – they were laying together, right? Turning his head from side-to-side – with all the grace of a ragdoll – Jungkook still couldn’t tell where his canine companion had gone.

“Hyung..?” Jimin hummed his response from the kitchen. “Where’s Bam? I thought he was here on the sofa with me?” Accepting the bowl of soup while he waited for Jimin’s answer, Jungkook let the bowl rest on the table.

“Namjoon hyung came by and took him for a walk, like, half an hour ago? Probably still with him. Anyway, eat up; Yoongi hyung brought this over and you need to get your strength back.” The older of the two answered, gently flicking the brunet’s forehead. Laughing when Jungkook huffed, whining about not hurting the patient, Jimin turned his head and followed the sound of knocking at the front door.

There was quiet, and then Jungkook paused when he heard laughter.

Y/n was home! He’d live!

“Hello to you too, Mr I Have A Fever~” Y/n cooed, ruffling her boyfriend’s hair as she deposited her bag and coat off to the side. Waving Jimin off when the dance teacher eventually needed to leave, she went on about her day, filling Jungkook in about everything happening outside the confines of his front door. It sounded fun. Pausing her description of a boring media lecture when she finally noticed Jungkook watching her with ever-so-adoring curiosity, y/n’s features softened.

He was just too cute for his own good.

“Anything you want, baby? You’ve been looking at me like that for a while now.” There was a pause as y/n waited for her answer, more than content to return her boyfriend’s gaze.

“Just a nap,” Jungkook yawned, shifting around until his head was settled in y/n’s lap. “You’re here now… so ‘m gonna sleep now~” A smile on his face when he felt the soft press of a kiss to his temples, Jungkook let his eyes shut again that day, the heaviness of fever-induced sleep soon taking over. He welcomed it.

“Sleep well my love.”

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[moody-alcoholic]

Alternative ending.

So I finished my fic (READ IT HERE) but I actually did plan an alternative ending very early on then scrapped it.

Since the fic is over I present to you.. 'I cried while writing this the first time: alternate ending'

CW: Heavy spoilers for the fan fic. Death, dying, death of 141 member, ungodly amounts of angst, first draft dribbles (I did not edit this).

1.5k words.

Context: Gaz was shot in the field and transported to hospital 141 are waiting for him to come out of surgery.

When the doctor comes out we all stand up. He takes his scrub cap off. I look in the room they’re wheeling him in. So he’s alive.

“We managed to repair the damage to his lung which helped us stabilise him, then we realised he was in DIC, his lung and spleen suffered massive damage which caused him haemorrhage into his abdomen we tried to repair it but unfortunately he took a turn for the worst and coded again…” I looked back at him.

“What about…” I didn’t want to say it. “Is he going to be okay?”

“We won’t know for sure for a few hours. We’ll keep him on the vent run tests. Best case scenario he wakes up. Worst case there is no brain activity.”

“What’s DIC?” Price asked.

“Its rare but after major trauma like a gunshot the body can use up all it’s clotting abilities in the blood. Once we were able to repair the pneumothorax.. Sorry, the collapsed lung he stabilised….”

“It was my first ever field chest tube, I’ve only ever been taught to do them in a controlled environment.” I said quietly watching the nurses hook up all Gaz’s monitors.

“When will we know more?” Price asked.

“I will send the nuro consultant by a few hours maybe…”

He trailed off. I went into the room closing the door behind me. I went over to the bed and picked his hand up. I slumped down in the chair by his bed. I was exhausted I squeezed his hand watching the monitors give out baseline readings.

“I’m so sorry Gaz.” I say, I let the tears come I’m so overwhelmed I just want him to wake up. I hold his hand stroking his arm. I hear the door open behind me. I put my head down on the bed hugging his arm. I sob feeling Ghost’s hand rub my back. I feel my nose get blocked as I cry into his hand. I apologise over and over again. Ghost and Price stay, eventually I tire myself out and feel like I can face them again. Ghost is sat next to me, he offers me some water but I refuse. Price takes the sofa at the end of the room and eventually falls asleep putting his hat on his face. I stay awake going over in my head over and over everything I did wrong. I feel sick dizzy watching the monitors give out readings. Every time the door opens I jump. Price moves his hat and when he sees it’s just a nurse goes back to sleep. When the nuro consultant comes in I feel numb.

“I am very sorry we cannot detect any brain activity…” I stop listening snatching the chart out his hands turning away. I don’t know anything about these readings. I just needed to see it. I look at Gaz in bed tubes sticking out his mouth, pumps keeping his heart beating, hes not there any more though. I look back at the chart. I drop the clipboard throwing myself into Ghost’s arms. I hear his heartbeat in my ears I grip him as hard as I can. I feel sick. I lost him I actually lost him. I have no tears left to cry. I’m exhausted. He’s gone. Gaz is gone.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It woke me from my restless sleep. It was Price.

“I can take watch.” He said.

“I’m okay I want to be here.” He pulls up a chair.

“Has their been any change?” I shake my head and pass Price an envelope.

“He named you to make medical decisions for him, that’s the letter.” I watched as Price opened the letter then looked away. There were a few moments before he spoke again.

“Is there anything more we can do?” he asked. I sighed this was always the worst part.

“His latest scans still show no brain activity, I’m sorry captain.” I looked a Gaz if you were to take away all the tubes it would just look like he was sleeping.

“Brain dead?” Price asked. I nodded looking at him, his eyes were heavy.

“He’s an organ donor, he’ll still save lives even after he is gone.” I say I knew it was little comfort but I thought maybe it would help.

“I’ve lost two brothers in 2 years.” Price sniffed. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“This is it now Noah is in prison Makarov is dead.”

“Terror never stops, a new leader picks up the gauntlet, we never stop fighting.” I let him have a moment not quite knowing what to say.

“Could you do it?” Price asked, “Turn off the machines, declare him dead.” I nod.

“Tonight then.” He says getting up. “I’ll let Ghost know.” I waited until he left the room before turning back to Gaz.

“Ready?” I ask Ghost standing next to me and Price on the other side of the bed. I hold a glass of scotch, Price insisted we all drink, for Gaz. Price nodded I handed my drink to Ghost and began turning off machines. I moved one of the monitors so only I could see it and silenced it. The last thing I did was disconnect the breathing tube, and take it out his mouth, laying it beside him. I took my drink from Ghost and leaned against him. I made sure we would be alone for this no one was to come in. He wrapped his arm round my waist.

“I always thought Gaz would be the last to go.” Ghost said “He should have been he was a better person then us all.” I looked at him his expression is sad. I watched Gaz’s breathing slow.

“He was a great soldier an amazing friend, I love the way he made me laugh.” I say holding my glass up. Price went up to the bed and looked at Gaz.

“Sergeant Garrick was a hero, he did this job not just for himself but his family too. He always had our backs he was an asset to 141. He was the glue that held this team together.” He looked around the room and held his glass up.

“Gaz.. Tell Johnny we’re sorry.” The Price finishes his drink. I do the same. Ghost takes the bottom of his mask of and drinks. I look at the monitor. Flatline. I have time I think I hold Ghost tight his arm squeezes my waist. We just stand in silence for a few minutes.

“How will we know?” Ghost asks. I pull away from him and take my stethoscope to my ears. I pause for a moment. I hate doing this. I listened to his chest both sides then felt for a pulse on his wrist and neck. Nothing he was gone.

“He’s gone.” I say wrapping the stethoscope round my neck I looked at my watch so I could write down time of death later. Ghost’s arms find me and he pulls me towards him. We stay in silence all saying our own private farewells. I hoped there was a heaven, I hope John is waiting for him. I lean into Ghost closing my eyes.

‘I’m so sorry Gaz’

Scotland

1 week later

I bought a tray of salad out to Simon who was sat at the table talking with Price who had insisted on grilling. I sat down next to Simon and took a beer, I smiled and kissed him. It was dull but we didn't care I had planted sunflowers next to the forget-me-nots. I didn't know if they would survive in the harsh Sottish highlands but they reminded me of Gaz. Price turns for a second and I see the grill filled with meat.

“How much are you making?” I ask in shock.

“Well it should keep you going for a while.” He says flipping a burger.

“What months?” I ask jokingly. Simon laughs too. Its nice to see him come out his shell more. He does not wear the mask around the house anymore, we decided to make the house our home. No safe house just safe for us. I cant help but love him more the more I spend time with him.

“What?” He asks taking another sip of beer. I smile and kiss him.

“What are you going to do now?” I ask Price taking a sip.

“Laswell as some work for me in America, while we wait to see what happens with Noah’s syndicate, see who comes out of hiding.” He explains. .

“What about you two.” He asks I look at Simon.

“Got house renovations to do, maybe take a vacation.” I say, looking at him smiling.

"Just waiting for your call Captain.” Simon says, I cheers to that. This was nice I lean into Simon him placing his arm around me. I hear the door bell ring, I get up to answer it.

“Food is almost ready!” Price says as I walk away.

“I’m sure there will be some left.” I say heading to the door. I wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door and looked in horror.

“Hello Williams.” Noah said.

END

I know that when someone is an organ donor they have to stay on a vent.. this was a first draft

[the-somwthing]

LITTLE BIT OF UHH 3RD LIFE SCOTTISHBEANS I WROTE JUST NOW HEHEHE

Takes place in the last session (in an au where there’s like. More time between events than just an hour or so.)

This is supposed to be a later chapter of a fic I’m working on! I’m doing things out of order 😭 so there are references to scenes I haven’t yet written in it sorry it shouldn’t be THAT bad tbh. When I actually make the fic this chapter will likely be edited whenever it appears haha

SHIP: Scott/Joel

WORD COUNT: 2143

WARNINGS (mostly just things to be aware of): somewhat of neck kissing, implied sexual stuff (just thinking about it very vaguely), flower husbands is mentioned but Jimmy is dead, headcanon with 3L!red!Joel and his monochrome/red skin, once again references to scenes I have not written, it may feel rather ooc but that’s cuz this is meant to be a later chapter so they’re already fairly close, repressing/denying feelings (and some failing at that), some pessimism about the war, NO DIALOGUE (when I planned this out I was like “wait there’s no dialogue” and decided I’d take it as a challenge and really have just no dialogue)

❤️💛💚

The war had been rough for everyone. It kept all players on edge, no matter how indirect their involvement was. At this point, it was pick a side or die in the crossfire. Scott and Joel had chosen the Desert, but neither of them had much reason to be part of the conflict.

The two had spent the past few days together, constantly running, though Scott could hardly tell if they were running to survive or running to kill. Somewhat of a mix of both, he figured. No matter the reason, they were constantly running, and nice peaceful moments were hard to come by.

Then it happened. They lost their target, the enemy hadn’t seen them yet, they were alone in a remote part of the world. Scott was tired, the grass looked soft, and he flopped himself onto it. Joel was clearly still running on adrenaline despite accepting that it was break time, and so he practically jumped onto Scott, grabbed him, and rolled with him.

Scott had grown used to the annoying ways Joel would throw himself at Scott and jostle him around. He figured it was a red life thing. Jimmy had also become more physical after turning red, though never so aggressive. Through observing others, Scott knew that suppressing violent urges was harder for most reds than Jimmy made it look. Joel tackling Scott was clearly not an act of violence, rather an act of affection. He typically only did stuff like that when they had accomplished something, or at least had some fun.

This moment was the opposite of that. They lost their target, and usually Joel was frustrated at that. They weren’t having fun running, either; it was exhausting and anxiety-inducing. And yet, in what should’ve been a moment of catching their breaths and saying “better luck next time,” Joel had rolled in the grass with Scott.

It wasn’t just Joel who acted out of character in that moment, for Scott would usually tell Joel off for playing so rough with him. It was mostly in a friendly manner, as Scott didn’t mind too much, but it could be annoying when unexpected, like in this moment. But instead of doing that, Scott laughed. He held onto Joel, rolling with him, and laughed in delight.

The ground was rather flat, so they didn’t roll very far. Joel sat up next to Scott, giggling with him. Scott figured that if Joel wasn’t going to lay in the grass, he wouldn’t either, and sat up as well, feeling a little dizzy from all the movement.

Scott shook his head and briefly brushed his hair with his hands, hoping to remove any dirt or grass. It wasn’t a thorough job, so he had to hope he was lucky. He took a look at Joel’s hair, noticing that a few bits of grass had gotten tucked into his hair, enough to turn monochrome as well.

Scott managed to pull out one piece of grass before Joel swatted his hand away. Scott glared at Joel, who tried to glare back but was still smiling. Scott wasn’t sure what that was about, but rolled his eyes and pulled Joel closer to remove the grass from his hair.

He knew that touching Joel’s hair like this made Joel flustered, but it needed to be done. Besides, he couldn’t care about Joel’s expression when he was too busy observing how the grass would regain color when taken out of Joel’s hair. Sure, he had experimented with this phenomenon in the past (don’t think about the flower) but it was never not fun to witness.

Scott was finally finished (it shouldn’t have taken so long, but watching colors change can be so distracting…) and pulled away to get a full look at Joel. His face was about as red as he expected (red being the only color allowed on Joel’s body was pretty unfortunate because it made his blush very obvious… but Scott didn’t feel bad for him). The sight made Scott chuckle and ruffle Joel’s hair.

Joel had accepted this fate (it was obvious that he had, otherwise Scott wouldn’t have been able to remove the grass at all). He seemed annoyed and embarrassed, yet once Scott’s hand left his head he moved himself onto Scott’s lap.

This surprised Scott, but instead of showing it or becoming flustered and embarrassed, it just made him happy. He wrapped his arms around Joel at the same time Joel did, sighing contentedly. For some reason this made Joel laugh quietly, and laughter had felt quite contagious in this moment so Scott giggled back.

There was no reason for them to be doing this. It didn’t make sense. And yet, it felt so right. The world was falling apart around them, everyone knew it was endgame, there would be no peace. Scott and Joel had nothing left to hold onto, nothing left to fight for, but they had each other. They hadn’t had each other a week ago, in fact they were quite against each other. But in the last moments of the world, the only thing they had was each other. It should’ve been sad. It should’ve been awkward. But Scott was having a great time.

Scott cupped Joel’s face in his hands to look at him. Joel’s face showed that he was also enjoying his time with Scott. This moment felt perfect. It was the most perfect moment in the world. There was one thing his heart wanted to do. He leaned in and kissed Joel…

…on the cheek. They’re not in love! They’re not married! They were just two soldiers doing mindless battles together. A kiss on the cheek is enough for that- maybe even too much, really. They hadn’t even declared themselves friends yet (mostly that’s because there was no reason to. There would be nothing after the war worth having friends for).

But as Scott pulled away, he could feel it wasn’t enough. He knew it was enough, he thought it was maybe too much, but he felt that it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in for another kiss: planted right on Joel’s other cheek. Surely that would be enough.

Of course, it wasn’t. Scott continued like this, kissing all over Joel’s face (never too close to the mouth) and thinking each time “that’s it. I’m done. That’s enough.” but never really feeling that. He failed to stop himself from kissing Joel, but was able to stop himself from kissing him on the lips.

The only person Scott had kissed was his husband, Jimmy. He couldn’t imagine doing that to anyone else. Even though Jimmy was dead, it didn’t make sense to Scott to move on so quickly. Well, with Jimmy it didn’t take long to fall in love either… no, no, what is this train of thought?! Scott loved Jimmy, so much. He did not love Joel, not at all. They were barely acquaintances. A few nights sleeping under the stars together couldn’t have changed that, right?

Scott could not bear the thought of moving on from Jimmy, which meant he couldn’t bear the thought of loving Joel, which meant he couldn’t bear the thought of kissing him on the lips. And yet, he needed to. Every quick kiss he planted onto Joel’s face didn’t satiate his desire at all. He wanted more, so much so that the rational part of his brain was struggling to stop him.

At this point, it was almost worse than just kissing Joel. An endless stream of kisses, all over his face (minus his mouth). That’s gotta be worse at this point, right? But Scott couldn’t stop. The part of Scott that didn’t want to make Joel uncomfortable noted that Joel hadn’t made even a noise of protest, and he knew that if Joel didn’t like this he would be shoved off instantly. The rest of Scott’s brain didn’t want to think of the implications of Joel liking this. Repressing feelings is much easier when it’s not mutual. If Joel had shoved Scott away, he wouldn’t be having this dilemma at all.

Scott had found a way to rationalize what he was doing. He just missed Jimmy so much, that he was desperate to give affection like he had with Jimmy. Surely, he would be acting like this to anybody, not just Joel. He even extended this rationality to Joel, deciding that he had just been so lonely this whole season that he would take affection from anyone, it had nothing to do with Scott.

None of this was true, but Scott held onto this idea. He wasn’t in love with Joel, he just missed Jimmy so much. Joel didn’t love Scott, he was just lonely (that one, at least, was more believable. Still not true). This is what Scott would tell himself any time he would think back to this moment. He would believe it, too, no matter how much his heart proved the theory wrong.

Scott had begun doing a circle of kisses around Joel’s face, starting from one cheek and going up from there, then to Joel’s forehead, then down to the other cheek. As previously mentioned he tried to stop himself each time, but obviously, it was never enough, and he had to complete the circle.

Once he reached Joel’s other cheek, he still wasn’t satisfied, and it technically wasn’t a circle unless he crossed over to the other cheek again. He would never kiss Joel on the mouth though, so he began kissing downwards, towards Joel’s chin. This is where things went wrong (or maybe right).

After Scott kissed Joel’s chin (kind of an awkward place to kiss, honestly) Joel had tilted his head up. Exposing his neck. Scott did not hesitate to press his lips against Joel’s neck. He did, however, hesitate to go much further than that. This much more intimate position snapped Scott out of his haze of wanting to kiss Joel.

His lips rested on Joel’s neck a moment longer, the moment Scott was trying to figure out what was going on. When he finally realized, he pulled away. Joel seemed to also take a moment to figure out what had happened before lowering his head. This made their eyes meet, and they stared at each other dumbfounded; like neither of them knew what was going on. Honestly, they probably didn’t. Everything that just transpired was so spontaneous.

Joel’s face was very red, and Scott imagined his own face wasn’t too different. Scott wanted to say something, but what? Sorry for almost kissing you on the neck? That was hardly Scott’s fault, Joel was the one who exposed his neck for Scott!! Sorry for NOT kissing you on the neck?! He’s recently been widowed! He can’t just go immediately kissing another man’s neck!

Why had Joel done that anyway?! Scott could hardly believe it. A red name who had spent a decent amount of time trying to kill him just exposed his neck to Scott. To kiss. Scott was a yellow name! Joel’s supposed to want to kill him, he did want to kill him in the past, but in this moment he had silently asked Scott to kiss his neck. And Scott almost did. God, what were they doing?!

Joel must’ve been really embarrassed, but Scott couldn’t tease him for it, not when he was also acting so… intimate. Scott tried to think back to figure out who started it, but the memory almost felt hazy and he got too embarrassed thinking about it so he gave up. It didn’t matter who started it anyway; they both indulged. Indulged quite a bit… what would’ve happened if Scott didn’t stop where he had? How far would they have gone?! Now this thought was too embarrassing for Scott to dwell on. Surely Joel wouldn’t have wanted to go THAT far…

After a while of staring at each other, Joel got off Scott’s lap and looked away. Wow, he was really embarrassed. He looked so small like this. Scott felt bad; having been the one who stopped that interaction he could at least pretend he didn’t want it. He wouldn’t do that to Joel, though. The only person he’d lie to about that is himself.

Scott laid down on the grass. It was incredibly awkward between the two, and neither could seem to say anything about it. It seemed best to just rest. Slow that heart rate to normal, breathe. This is what they should’ve been doing when they stopped in the field. Resting. Without touching.

Neither of them moved to interact with each other. Eventually, they got up to continue the war. Neither of them spoke of that moment ever again.

It was just a moment of weakness on both their parts; Joel being lonely and Scott missing Jimmy. They didn’t want each other. Not at all.

[therealgchu]

WIP Wednesday - Valentines Style

i'm not a fan of valentines. i'm not a fan of holidays, in general. but, i thought something fluffy and waffy might be nice for WIP wednesday. the coemancer crew did an art dump for valentines (sorry for not being involved, but i have almost no free time. this has been a hell month for me at work), but i'll tag them anyway @silurisanguine, @fangbangerghoul, @eridanidreams, @staticpallour, @bearlytolerant, @a-cosmic-elf, @aro-pancake, @atonalginger, @samcoesclub, and anyone else i'm forgetting.

i'm planning on publishing the next chapter on friday. it's written, but needs editing.

so, a fluffy little piece. i'm not sure if this will be part of the next chapter, or as a stand-alone vignette.

if you want to read from the beginning on ao3.

Valentines fluffy sneak peek

Hwa felt like she was on a cloud, and was grinning from ear to ear like a maniac. As she and Sam walked back to the Razorleaf, she kept looking up at him and found him looking down at her, with the same grin. “I have never really walked much around Akila. Can you play tour guide for me?” she asked.

Sam smiled, “We’ve got time. Sure.” He grabbed her hand and started leading her around, pointing out his favorite places, where he got in trouble for spray painting a wall, where he had his first kiss. She honestly was only paying half attention to him. What was really occupying her mind was him holding her hand. While they’d held each other’s hands many times before, it was always when they were alone together. She had never in her entire life held someone’s hand in public. Public displays of affection were utterly alien to her, and even something as innocent as holding hands was making her feel a bit dizzy. She felt like she was vibrating and wondered if Sam could feel it through her hand.

Hwa realized he must have, as he paused when they rounded a corner in Midtown. He peered down at her, “Are you OK?” he asked. They had stopped right next to a stairwell that was shaded from the sun. Sam pulled her into the shadows away from the pedestrian traffic.

She tried to speak, but ended up emitting a high pitched squeak instead.

“What was that?” he asked, wide eyed and laughing. “I didn’t think I caught that!”

Hwa laughed, covering her mouth and turning bright red. She tried again, “Umm…this will sound weird, but…I have never held hands with anyone in public before,” she said in an unusually high, whispery voice.

“Seriously?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes. I mean, I’ve never really been in a romantic relationship before,” she stuttered out. “Not a lot of romance going on in organized crime, frankly. At least, not for me.” She tried to affect an airy, casual voice. It came out sounding slightly hysterical instead.

“Heh, I feel like I”ve been lied to by movies and vids,” he mused. “You’ve really never been romantically involved with…anyone?”

“I told you, all relationships were transactional. I mean, sex is just sex. It has nothing to do with emotions.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily true, but I can see what you mean,” he interrupted. “So, when we’ve had sex…”

Hwa shook her head, “That was different already!” she said a bit frantically. “I was already in love with you, but I didn’t know how you felt. I mean, the attraction was there, but…”

Sam nodded, “sex is sex.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, so what is it about holding hands that has you…well, you’re kinda physically buzzing. I can feel it in your hands.”

“This feels,” and she held up his hand in hers, “this feels really, really intimate.”

“But, sex doesn’t?”

“Sex is a physical need. Biological imperative, and all. It has nothing to do with intimacy.”

Sam shook his head baffled, “I don’t know if I agree with that, but I can see what you’re saying. How is holding hands more intimate than sex?”

Hwa sighed, seeing she wasn’t making much sense to him. Frankly, it didn’t make a lot of sense to her, either. But, he asked, and she could only respond honestly. “Because holding hands isn’t necessary. It’s a choice. And, it’s a…a public choice. It’s like saying, ‘this is mine’. I’ve never had anyone…I’ve never had anyone,” here she looked at the ground, “I’ve never had anyone who wanted me.”

“Ahh,” Sam said after a moment, “sex is sex.” Hwa nodded, seeing he understood what she was saying. “Oh, Hwa, I love you. I’m madly in love with you. Do you want me to shout it to the stars? Because I will.”

She looked back up into his eyes, “No, that’s not necessary.”

He tilted up her chin and kissed her softly, which made her shake a bit. Sam looked at her critically again, “Let me guess, first kiss in public?” She nodded and blushed again. “Oh wow. Then, like…” here Sam grinned lasciviously at her, “I’m your…first?”.

“Oh my god, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Hwa blushed an even darker red.

“No, no! It’s cute! And, you’re even more beautiful when you blush,” he said, and with his body pushed her against the wall, deeper into the shadows. 

Hwa started shaking her hands again, which Sam grabbed with one hand. With his other, he leaned up against the wall, pressing her body against it, and kissed her more passionately. He broke the kiss, and stared into her eyes, “I want you,” he said throatily.

She involuntarily squeaked again, which made Sam laugh, breaking the mood. “OK, might be a little too much?” he asked, backing off a bit. She nodded, noticeably trembling and shaking her hands. He kissed the top of her head. “What do you think of public displays of affection?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said in another squeaky voice, her eyes wide and confused.

Sam laughed and took her hand and kissed it. “You are the damndest woman,” he said, shaking his head. “Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and blow all of my ideas out of the water.” He led her back out onto the walkway, smirking, “But, I like the idea that I’m your first.”

[crystalsnow95z]

My mental state isn't the best right now, so I decided to just write without planning ahead since it helps me feel better. Edit: This is an old story. I'm fine now.

Trigger warning: stalker, anxiety, nightmare(dream cut*ing but not Tae or the boys), vom*t.. not for the faint of heart. unedited version. I may post a fluffier rewrite in my normal style.

Jungkook was in the middle one of his 2 am lives when his phone started ringing,9 interrupting the music. "What? Who's calling this late?" He checks his phone, seeing Taehyung pop up.Why would he be calling this late? He would get a notification that I'm going live on his phone, and he could just message in the chat.. I need to answer this..

"I'm sorry Army, I have a phone call." Jungkook exits the room and picks up the phone. "Hello?"

"Jungkook-ah, I'm scared.. could I come over to your place tonight?" Taehyung was whispering into the phone, his voice trembling and breathless.. "I just can't be home right now.."

"Taehyungie-Hyung, what's wrong? Of course I'll come get you." Jungkook searches for his car keys, remembering the tablet he left running. "One second." He covers the phone to talk to his audience.

"I'm sorry, Army, i love you guys,but I must go now. Something important came up." He quickly turns off the live the words coming out fast, bowing deeply to the camera for a moment before shutting it off. "I'm getting ready now. What's wrong? Is that wind? Are you outside?"

"I went..went t.to the convince sto.store to get some cold medi..medicine beca..because I wasn't fe..fe..eeling well and on..on..on my way back h..h..home there wa..was a wo.w..woman banging o..on my..my door ca.calling my name..Saying they ha..had to s.s.see me..That they were my..m..m.." Taehyung switches topics mid sentence."If i d..d..didnt open up they'd break in..but i wasnt in..so..i ran in the op.op.osite dir..direction and call..called the police, but.but didn't find,so they.. couldn't do anything..They just offered to ta..take me home, but I don't want to. She's somewhere.. I'm too scared to go home, Jungukkie.." Taehyung was still whispering, speaking quickly without even stopping to take a breath. His heart pounded violently in his chest, making it hard to breathe. His eyes darted around, looking for any signs of people around him, but the night was silent except for the sound of the tree branches swaying in the wind. I need to get as far away from home as possible.. she just hid somewhere I know it..

"Someone was at your home? Where are you now? I'm going to come get you. Send me your location." Jungkook slid on a pair of slippers, running to his car and mounting his phone, connecting it to his car. He could only pick up pieces of his stuttering mess of sentences."You'll be okay, TaeTae-hyung. You can stay the night with me as long as you need to feel safe."

I need to get to him as soon as possible, he's just barely keeping it together, his voice is trembling so much..

"Okay, please hurry.. I don't want to be alone..i can't keep moving..I'm feeling dizzy.." Taehyung finds a place to sit, his knees threatening to give in on him choosing to sit by the river sliding down the trunk of a large tree, hoping that no one would notice him in the shadows, almost dropping his phone when he shared his location. His body trembled uncontrollably, still feeling the anxiety swallowing him. "I..I got it.."

"Hyung, hyung,listen to me,you need to try to calm down. You're hyperventilating.. you need to take a deep breath.. I'm coming to get you, you just need to hang in there. You're going to pass out." Jungkook sets the location on his phone, speeding to find him, not caring if he got pulled over. "Breathe.."

Taehyung tried to take a deep breath but ended up coughing instead.No matter how many times he tried to fill.. "I can't Kook.." He whispers softly. Jungkook continued to try to soothe him but, he could hardly hear Jungkook over his heart pounding in his ears. He clutched the phone tightly in his hand, leaning heavily against the tree as he waited for the wave of dizziness to pass.

"Taehyung-ah! Please.." Jungkook begs desperately, eyes tearing up when he hears his hyung's dry coughing without a sign of ending. "I'm almost there, just try to stay with me a little longer."

"Taehyung-ssi !" The woman calls out to Taehyung, his blood turning cold. "I saw you yesterday and heard you coughing, so I made you some Jook and ginger tea. I just want to take care of you, honey."

Taehyung covered his mouth with his arms to try to silence his coughing. Tears swelling up dilating with fear leaving only a sliver of color left around his pupils, his blood running cold. She was watching me yesterday? But I didn't go anywhere. I was home.. How long has she been following me? I felt like ive been being watched for the past month while he was doing my schedules, has it been that long...?

"Hyung are you there?...Taehyung-ah!" Jungkook tried to get Taehyung to speak. He had to know he was okay. He checks to see if he hung up, but he was still there.

"Taehyung-ah! I heard you coughing! I know it was you. You don't have to be shy! I just want to help you. I know how much you dislike cooking so I made you a meal.."

Jungkook could hear the woman calling from his end, panic setting in. He was only a few minutes away from where Taehyung was, picking up speed. "I'm hanging up to call the police okay, hyung? I'm almost there just hang on a little longer."

Taehyung couldn't find his voice to answer, curling up in fetal position to try to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. He was in no condition to try to reason with them. His chest tightened painfully, feeling like the weight of the world was pressing down on him. He held his breath trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"If you don't show yourself, I'll hurt myself. I love you so much.. Your rejection hurts so much. I just want to be with you.." The woman's voice was even closer now, but Taehyung didn't dare lift up his head to see how close.

Please...please leave me alone..Fans don't act like this.. Taehyung couldn't hold back a sob, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please go." His voice comes out as a high pitched sob, pleading to the woman to leave him alone, but she ignored him feeding into her own fantasy.

"My sweet Taehyung, you don't look well at all, let me take you come and take care of you. Lets get you home.." The woman reaches for Taehyung, his whole body tensing up. She strokes his hair gently pulling him into her lap."I love you Tete, more than anyone else in this world. Don't cry baby. I know you aren't well..you've been working too hard. I've been watching.."

"Plea..please..don't to..t..touch m..me.." Taehyung picks up his head to plead with her, but she just reaches to hug him, wiping his tears with her fingers.

"I know you don't mean that, you just don't want me catching your cold. It's okay, baby.. I don't care. I'll gladly be sick with you.." she shushes him, stroking his hair. "Don't cry.. I know you must be lonely since you started living on your own.." she kisses his tears. "You're even beautiful when your crying..."

Taehyung tries to push her away, but to no avail. He didn't have any strength left. I can't do this. I'm not getting through to her..She's going to take me..Taehyung gave up fighting, giving in to black haze that washed over him, his body growing heavy in the woman's arms.

"Get away from him!" Jungkook rips Taehyung out of her arms holding him protectively to his chest. "You don't do this sort of thing.. He told you no! Please you have to understand there's boundaries!"

The sound of sirens drawing near makes the woman look uneasy. "Did you call the police just because I came to take care of my love?"

"He isn't yours." Jungkook glares, drying Taehyung's cheeks with his sleeve."You don't do this to people you love. Army doesn't act this way. Can't you see how scared he was? Didn't you even consider his feelings? He won't like you." Jungkook's voice was eerily calm with anger.

The woman sat there in silence, Jungkook breaking the delusion.

"Hyung, hyung I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough.. Taehyung-ah, please you're okay now..just breathe for me..."

Taehyung hears Jungkook calling to him, slowly opening his eyes, noticing the tears streaming down his face, sitting up quickly, knocking the oxygen the paramedic was holding against his face away."Junggukkie.. You're cry.." Taehyung tries to speak, but coughs.

"Take it easy Hyung.. You're okay now..the police handled it.. she's gone.. You're safe.." Jungkook tries to soothe his distressed hyung, sniffling. "She let the police take her."

Taehyung looks around, noticing the police car and ambulance nearby. Did I pass out...? Taehyung blinks slowly, trying to get his mind clear. He notices the stretcher, the medics prepping to lift him, but he clings to Jungkook's arm shaking his head.I don't need to go to the hospital.. I don't want to go..

"We can't make you go, but you lost consciousness, and you're running a fever." The paramedic suggests lightly. "You should at least get checked out at the hospital.."

"No, thank you, I can go in the morning. I just want to go with Jungkookie. Please?" Taehyung politely declines, taking Jungkook's hand and squeezing it. It took everything he had to keep his voice steady. The thought of them making him stay alone in the hospital overnight caused the tremors to return."I just want to go.."

"I'll take care of him. He's been through enough.." jungkook hugs Taehyung to his chest, feeling his hyungs heart still thumping hard in his chest. "Could we go now, sir?" Jungkooks speaks curtly, losing his patience.

"The police would like a statement first.." The paramedic gestures to the police car, the policeman noticing that Taehyung was sitting up now, going over there.

"Please I don't want to talk about it again..I already gave a report earlier.. it's the same woman.." Taehyung buried his face in Jungkook's shoulder, coughing into it.

"I told you over the phone what he told me and I told you what I saw." Jungkook glares at them, holding Taehyung closer."You already caught her this time." Jungkook hints at their failure, picking up Taehyung to leave with or without their permission.

"You can go then. Could I have a number to call in case we need anything?"

Jungkook gives them the number to his manager, scooping up Taehyung bridal style. "Have a good night officer." Jungkook bows, carrying Taehyung to the car.

"Oh my gosh is that V and Jungkook?"

"What happened?"

Taehyung hears voices of the passerbys in the distance, making his anxiety spike up again, holding Jungkook tightly.

"I won't drop you don't worry and i'll call the company in the morning and explain what happened okay hyung? Hyung?" Jungkook lifts Taehyungs chin noticing that Taehyungs eyes were unfocused even though he was looking straight at him. "Hyung look at me." Jungkook places him in the passenger seat.

I've been watching you.. The voice of the woman echos in his head, the memory of her unwanted touch making his body tense up again.

"Taehyung-ah!" Jungkook claps his hands together, making the elder boy jump, being pulled out of his own mind.

"I'm..I'm okay.. let's just go.. I don't feel well.. I want to lay down.." Taehyung's voice came out soft, Jungkook leaning close to hear him. Jungkook didn't believe him. He could hear Taehyung's heart thumping in his chest, his breathing came in short gasps and his eyes were still two black disks.

At least he's breathing. It's a start...

"Ah, Taehyungie-hyung, you're burning.." Jungkook hisses with surprise when he picks up Taehyung to carry him inside. He didn't think much of him falling asleep in the passenger seat. He'd already been feeling poorly the past few days, but he didn't expect his fever to get so high.

" 'm cold..." Taehyung's voice is soft, speaking slowly just barely awake. Jungkook lifts him gently out of the car, him pressing his pounding head into Jungkook's chest. "Hurts..."

"What hurts hyungie?" Jungkook asks helping Taehyung onto his back, supporing him with one arm under his butt, the other holding Taehyung's wrist, but only gets a soft hum as a response. "I'll get you some medicine when we get inside okay?" Jungkook carries him to the door letting go of Taehyungs wrists to try to get the key, but him instantly starting to fall back. "Please hang onto me just long enough for me to unlock the door okay?" Jungkook leans forward to try to keep him in place, relaxing when he feels the elder boy grip him.

At least he responded.. he's mostly out of it.. I gotta do something to cool him down..

Jungkook unlocks the door, carrying his ailing hyung to his room, gently placing him on the bed, taking off Taehyung's shoes and socks, tugging off his pants.

"cold.." Taehyung curls up, hugging his knees to his chest preventing Jungkook from getting his shirt and jacket off.

"Taehyung-ah you're being so difficult right now.."Jungkook strokes Taehyungs sweaty hair from his eyes. "Alright, alright.. You can keep it.. let me see if I have any cold medicine."

"Don't.." Taehyung coughs out the words.

"I'm not going far hyungie. Please I need to try to get your fever down. I'm just going to the other room." Jungkook pleads with him, his heart sinking when Taehyung grips his hand tightly. "You're still pretty shaken up..Okay hyung, I'll hold you for a bit, but then you need to take some medicine.." Jungkook pulls him into his arms.

Just as Jungkook almost had Taehyung back to sleep his phone starts to ring, leaving him trying to quickly fish it out of his pocket to try to silence it. Jimin is calling? Did he already hear about what happened?

"Hey, I'm trying to get-" Jungkook starts to talk but Jimin's panicked voice cuts him off.

"What's going on? There's photos of you holding Taehyungie while talking to the police all over weverse with captions about you abruptly ending your live."

"Jimin-ah I'll tell you about it later, but Taehyungie-hyung is burning up with a fever and he keeps coughing..I need to check for medicine but I can't leave him alone, he's still really freaked out about the thing that happened.." Jungkook avoids bringing it up.

"Aiigo, my poor baby.. he canceled going to the gym with me because he said he didn't feel well.. let me talk to him..he might let you go if he has someone to talk to." Jimin was burning with curiosity, but trusted Jungkook's judgement to not say anything with Taehyung around.

"V-hyung, it's Jiminie-hyung. He says he'll keep you company. Is that okay?" Jungkook holds the phone by his ear so Jimin could talk to him.

"Tete?" Jimin could hear Taehyung's breathing, but Taehyung didn't respond. "Hey Tae? I got a compliment from my personal trainer today. He's really surprised on how quickly my strength is improving." Jimin starts to ramble on about his day, giving Jungkook time to escape the room while he was distracted. Jimin knew he was still holding the phone when he hears Taehyung coughing, or give a little yes, in acknowledgement, but he didn't add anything to the conversation.

He's really out of it, I don't think he's even really processing anything I say to him.

"Hey Tae? Can you tell me how you're feeling? I'm worried about you.." Jimin wanted to see if he could get a coherent response out of Taehyung, and after a long pause he went to speak again, but heard Tae starting to speak.

"It feels like my heads gonna explode, my stomachs swirling.. and my hearts still thumping too hard, and..and it's freezing.. but I'm all wet.. I swallowed a frog.. and..I'm still vibrations.." Taehyung tries to think of the words he needed to explain, but a thick fog clouded his thoughts leaving him feeling frustrated knowing they weren't the words he wanted.

Jimin understood what he meant, though, wishing he could be there to comfort him, but a yawn escaped him, reminding him how tired he was."That sounds awful.. Don't worry, Taehyungie, Jungkook will get you feeling better, and I'll come in the morning.. I'm too tired to drive, or I'd come right now."

Taehyung goes to try to talk again, but the sound of Jungkook's footsteps spooks him, dropping the phone to the floor relaxing when he sees the familiar face of the mankae.

Jungkook enters the room with his supplies, setting them up on the table, pouring some medicine for Taehyung, propping him up against the wall. "Here Hyungie. Take this. It'll make you feel better."

Taehyung tries to take the cup, but when Jungkook saw his trembling hand he pulls it away again. "Let me do it. I don't want you spilling it." Jungkook tilts his chin up, using his thumb to part his lips, tipping the liquid into his mouth.

Taehyung coughs, swallowing it down. "Jiminah.."

"What about him Hyungie?" Jungkook asks, dipping a rag into the bowl of water to wipe the sweat off of Taehyungs forehead.

"I made him ran away.." Taehyung says, pointing to the floor.

"I'll get him for you. You just lay down okay?" Jungkook helps him gently slide back into a laying position, picking up his phone. "Hyung are you still there?"

"Yes, what happened? Is he okay?" Jimin asks worriedly.

"He dropped the phone. I'm not sure.. he's really out of it.." Jungkook furrows his brow with worry when Taehyung starts coughing into his fist.

"I got him talking for a bit, but it was like..when you try to use a translation app. You know what they mean, but the words are off.." Jimin explains what Taehyung told him, fighting off another yawn.

"I'll take care of Taehyungie-hyung.. you get some sleep. Okay? You had a busy schedule today."

"I'll come in the morning. I don't have anything planned until the afternoon. I love you Jungkookie, take care of Tae and send him my love."

"I will.. sleep well hyung..I love you too." Jungkook hangs up, focusing all his attention on his ill member. Jungkook runs the cloth over Taehyung's thighs, going down, washing the sweat off of his legs, forcing Taehyung to straighten out, but the older member instantly tries curling up again, making him have to put his hand on Taehyung's knees to keep him still. "Stop for a minute, Taehyungie-hyungie. I'm almost done. I just need to do your left leg."

Jungkook continues to gently wash Taehyung's body, unzipping his jacket and gently pulling his arms out, Taehyung moaning softly in complaint. "I know, I know..you can be mad at me, just let me cool you down some then we can cuddle all you want." Jungkook pushes up his shirt to run the cloth across his abdomen, gently making circles on his belly up to his shoulders.

Taehyung slowly starts relaxing at the rhythmic motion, exhaustion taking over.

(Here is the worst trigger warning. Cu*ting involved. Follow green lines to skip)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Taehyung-ah I love you.. don't you understand how much I love you? You told on me. How could you do that? I told you if you left me I'd hurt myself.. this is all your fault." The woman shows her arms covered in cuts and bruises, the blood dripping onto his skin. "You said that you loved your fans. How could you lie to me like that?"

Taehyung tried to move away from her, but his legs wouldn't move. Move..please.. I need to move..I can't breathe..

Taehyung could feel his lungs burning from the lack of air, but no matter how many times he tried to fill them, nothing came.

"You said you loved us.." the woman multiplied, each having more cuts than the last, tears streaming down their cheeks. "You said you loved me!"

Taehyung finally got his body to obey, managing to step back, but he rammed into someone. The figure wraps around him, whispering in his ear. "That's it, love, come to me.." she leaves kisses on his neck. Taehyung tries to pull away.

"No! He's mine!" Another voice yells. Taehyung finds himself being pulled from all angles, but when he tries to scream, no sound comes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Switches to a quick vomit scene ~~~

Taehyung wakes up from the nightmare screaming loud enough to wake up the sleeping mankae drenched in cold sweat. He bolts up, struggling to catch his breath but only finding himself coughing, giving no relief to his burning lungs. He frantically looked around the room, only setting his panic further when he didn't recognize the room, fear churning his belly.

"Taehyung-ah! What's wrong? What's wrong?" Jungkook reaches to touch him, to try to comfort him, but in his mental state, he doesn't even recognize the voice of his dear mankae, Taehyung backing away.

"Don-" Taehyung's stomach lurched, his small dinner from earlier pushing up his throat, spraying onto Jungkook and his bed.

"Woah..it's okay, it's okay.. I'll take care of it, okay? " jungkooks eyes widen with surprise, searching for something for him to be sick into. Taehyung didn't hear Jungkook's words. His mind was replaying his dream, sending the sick up his throat, gagging up the kimchi fried rice J-hope prepared for him earlier that day.

Jungkook brings him a waste bin, but he does not find it before the round of sick hits his bed again."Aiigo,You're really sick.." Jungkook sympathetically rubs Taehyung's back, holding the bin by his face in time for the next round.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Taehyungie-hyungie you're okay.. I'm here.."

Taehyungie-hyungie?

Recognition shines in his eyes when he sees the shadowy figure of Jungkook standing next to him. "Jungkook-ah.." Taehyung sobs,reaching for the golden mankae, tears streaming. Jungkook quickly takes off his shirt and wraps his arms around Taehyung, completely disregarding soiled bedding. Consoling Taehyung was the only thing that mattered to him.

"Don't cry, Taehyungie, I'm here, I got you.." jungkook strokes his hand through Taehyung's wet hair. "You're safe.. it's just me.. Hyungie it was just a dream. You're okay.." jungkook continues to whisper sweet nothings, trying to keep his voice steady. He was hot before.. but now I'm already sweating from holding him..

Taehyung coughs into Jungkook's chest as he tries to slow his breathing forcing himself to breathe deeply. I'm worrying Koo.. I need to try to pull myself together.. I have try..

Taehyung forces himself to take deep breaths, loosening his grip on Jungkook to try to down play the fear that still gripped him. "no worry..Koo no.." His words did nothing to stop Jungkook's worry. Not when he could hardly speak clearly.

"You think you can stay up long enough so I can wash you up? You're fever's really bad hyungie.. I'll carry you there." Jungkook could see Taehyung's eyes already drooping shut.

"Maybe.." Taehyung wraps his hand around Jungkook to make him easier to lift, gripping tight when being picked up,the woozy feeling returning. "Slowly..slowly.." Taehyung whined softly, closing his eyes to try to stop the room from spinning.

"I'll go slow, okay, just don't choke me.." jungkook says breathlessly, coughing when Taehyung loosens up on his neck. "Are you going to be sick hyungie?"

Taehyung shakes his head slightly. " 'm kay.."

Jungkook shuffles his feet across the floor, unsure on if he could believe him, wanting to keep from shaking him as much as possible until they were safely in the bathroom, propping him against the bathtub as he turns on the water, trying to get a good temperature that's not too cold.

Jungkook strips off everything but his boxers, doing the same with Taehyung, gently leading him to the tub. Taehyung jumps when the water touches his hot skin. "It's okay.." Jungkook holds him, wetting a cloth and running it across Taehyung's body.

Taehyung was shivering, clinging to Jungkook's body. "Cold Koo..it's cold.."

"I know, I know. It's cold for me too.." Jungkook's skin covers in goosebumps. "I'll get us out soon, okay?" He warms up the water to bring just above lukewarm, covering Taehyung's eyes and wetting his hair. "Just let me wash you up, and I'll wrap you up in a warm towel. Okay?" He massages shampoo into Taehyung's hair.

Taehyung doesn't reply, clenching his jaw shut to keep his teeth from chattering. I want out...

"I'm almost done." Jungkook finishes washing him as quickly as possible. "I'm sorry Hyungie.. I know.." He turns off the water and gets out to get a towel, drying off Taehyung's body.

"I'll do it myself.. yo.you dry yourself off,or.. or you'll get sick..." Taehyung pulls the towel from him, drying his dripping hair, trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

"Okay, hyungie." Jungkook smiles softly, relaxing when he hears Taehyung speaking in coherent sentences again. Jungkook starts drying himself off when he hears his phone ringing. "Don't try to stand up hyungie. Stay here, okay? I'll be back."

"No..no I'll go too." Taehyung shakily stands, putting his hands in front of him to stop himself from falling, a wave of vertigo washing over him.

"Woah Hyungie, be careful.." jungkook wraps the towel around Taehyungs waist, lifting him up. "Come on then. I bet it's one of the members."

Jungkook was right. It was Jimin."Jungkook-ah how's Taehyungie?"

"Super clingy..but I just gave him a cold shower, and I think his fever went down.. I'm not sure what else I can do.. he's still coughing and he can't walk without getting dizzy.. he also got sick when he woke up." Jungkook gets dressed, choosing an oversized shirt for Taehyung.

"I'm getting ready to come over now, don't worry, Koo. We'll get him feeling better together. Try to get him to eat something for now, I don't think he's eaten much lately.." Jimin frets over Taehyung. "Even if he won't eat, you should. You need to keep your strength up so you don't get sick."

"Okay, I will. Thank you, hyungie.." jungkook gently gets the shirt on him, kissing Taehyung on the forehead, notcing that he's fallen asleep again. "He's such a sleepy bear.."

"Let him sleep, I'll bring some of my pillows for him. Give him cuddles until then, okay?"

Jungkook nods with a yawn, cuddling into Taehyung's cheek, voice slowing down as he starts drifting off."I'll take care of him.."

[listenheresweaty]

REVIVEBUR X READER (and Tommy, Platonically) PART TWO

This is still terrible and long. I have very little motivation

part 3 out soon

Rating: PG-13

It was raining the day that Tommy decided to invite Wilbur to dinner. He had tolerated Wilbur's presence at your house before, but that had been mostly outside, while the two of you had been growing your mushroom garden.

Wilbur had been only slightly annoying that day: no real taunts, only vague attempts to get Tommy to leave you. And a storm was brewing, so Tommy and you decided that Wilbur might as well stay there for dinner.

Wilbur was ecstatic. Finally some progress. Delusional, he was convinced that he'd be able to get Tommy to come with him-- his brother, family by blood.

So he got worse. A mixture of desperation, exhilaration of being supposedly so close to his goal and the strange, unwelcome and warm feeling that swelled in his chest when he saw a third bowl of mushroom stew placed on the table-- the dizzying, borderline terrifying feeling of belonging in such a peaceful, domestic scene that set off alarm bells in his head, telling him that it was wrong, wrong, wrong.

As Wilbur got more... well, toxic, Tommy's face soured more and more, clearly regretting his decision.

You tried to get Wilbur to shut up and just enjoy the meal, but the interference on your part only incensed him further. He snapped at you, which led to Tommy snapping at him.

Which of course, ended with an argument between the brothers, Wilbur questioning Tommy's loyalty.

"Tommy, I'll ask you this one last time. Do you see me as your brother? Do you? 'Cause you're not acting like it!" Wilbur asked.

Tommy's face twisted, but said nothing.

"Do you?" Wilbur repeated, glaring at him sternly.

But Tommy said nothing, only clenched his jaw, looking close to tears.

Slowly, the creases in Wilbur's faces smoothed, as if something was dawning on him. He stared at his younger brother with a slack expression.

Then, Wilbur grabbed his jacket and turned to leave, and Tommy fled in the opposite direction, locking himself inside his room.

You tried to intercept Wilbur and get him to stay, but he shook you off, gaze trained on the door as he avoided looking you in the face. He stormed out.

You retreated and wandered to Tommy's room and knocked quietly. No response. You heard him sniffle somewhere inside.

To be clear: Tommy still loves Wilbur. It's a mix of childish pride, doubt, and hurt that keeps him from saying it out loud. Tommy may be Wilbur's brother, but is Wilbur his?

After a few minutes, a click echoes through the hallway as Tommy opens his door. You hold out your arms and Tommy collapses against you, trembling but not crying. Somehow, he's too tired to cry.

---

Wilbur doesn't return for two weeks.

You finally manage to get Tommy to leave the house and get his mind off things. Tommy organizes a camping trip with Tubbo and Ranboo, and goes to spend the weekend in the woods (you secretly message Philza and ask him to watch over them).

This leaves only you in the house. Although you had grown accustomed to solitude during your life, Tommy's absence leaves the house feeling almost foreign, too silent.

All the lights are off, except the ones in the kitchen, where you're hunched over the counter, scrutinizing your architectural plans for an expansion towards the cliffside. You were making some edits on the placement of the staircase when you heard a resounding thump from somewhere behind you.

you glance around the darkness surrounding the dimly-lit kitchen. As your eyes adjust, you spot the dark blue square of the window amongst the blackness, the sparse light of the moon making the outside world vaguely visible as you approached to peer out.

A clang, this time farther away. You caught sight of the shed door opening, and a tall, lanky figure stumbling inside.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Slipping on your jacket and shoes, you marched outside, swinging the shed door open with a frown on your face.

You were met with a very drunk, very distraught Wilbur Soot having an emotional breakdown on the floor of your gardening shed, right next to your fertilizer.

You stared. "What...?" You didn't finish your sentence. You honestly didn't know how, there were so many things to be asked.

What are you doing here? What's wrong? What are you drinking, can I have some? What in the world inspired you to come here, of all places?

The man squinted up at you (although you doubted he could really comprehend what he was seeing) reproachfully.

"This shed is full of fucking rusted nails." He manages through shaky and slurred speech. "Don't you pay attention to what state your home is in? You should care more, you know, now that you're responsible for T--" He cuts himself off.

"Shed renovations are on my to-do list, don't worry." You mumble. "...He cares about you, you know?"

He knew who you were talking about.

You continue. "He misses you, truly. He's just a little fragile--"

"You think I don't know that???? You think I haven't seen what has happened to him, what I've--- what has been done to him? Do you think I'm blind?" Wilbur lashes out almost convulsively. He clenches his jaw, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. You frown and kneel down in front of him, grabbing his hands to make stop before he starts bleeding. He trembles but doesn't pull away, eyes fixed on the ground between you. After a moment, you let go, moving to sit back.

Wilbur takes a swig of the bottle tucked in his trenchcoat--you hadn't even noticed it.

"if you keep this up, you'll end up six feet under again." You warned him gently.

"well, maybe I should, huh?" he rasped, spitting out this statement before he had much time to think. His eye twitched and he lapsed into silence once again. He continued to glare at you, as if challenging you to say something. When you didn't say anything, he spoke again, as if the words were being drawn out of him against his will

"Maybe I should---- maybe---" he wouldn't finish his sentence, his breath was getting shallower, hands shaking. He laughed, a bitter, wet sound that devolved back into sobbing

You look at this pathetic, skrunkly disaster of a man.

And you scooch beside him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into a hug. Wilbur slumps weakly against your shoulder, too drunk to remember that he's supposed to hate you. Maybe he's even forgotten who he's talking to. All he knows is that there is something there, something warm, something that isn't a train station bench or the clouded, wary gazes of people who used to be his allies.

You hold him a bit tighter, smoothing his hair with one hand. He's limp in your hold, trembling. He's so quiet you wouldn't even know he was crying if it wasn't for your jacket getting wetter as he pressed his face into your shoulder and sobbed. When he seemed to have calmed down the slightest bit, you asked him how far away his house was. It took him a while to register the question.

He shook is head, face still buried against your shoulder. He slurs, saying that he doesn't have a house.

"The Burger Van, then?"

"Th..that's at th' LLas Nevadas bord'r.."

"Do you want to stay here for the night? Or maybe find a room to rent in the nearby village?"

It took him even longer to respond to this question, and you had begun to wonder if he had fallen asleep.

"Wilbur?"

"...village." he murmurs.

You nod and pry yourself away from him, helping him stand. It's a short walk to the village, and the innkeeper asks no questions. You lead him to a small room-- one bed, one window and a vase with some dried-up plant-- and plop him onto the bed. He drops like a sack of flour, passed out cold on top of the sheets. You slip a blanket over him and place a bucket and towel next to the bedside (the hangover would probably get him sick).

You bid your goodbyes to the apathetic innkeeper and head back home.

Tommy arrives from his camping trip a day and a half later, abuzz with excitement and energy. He thrums like a live wire, yammering nonstop about how they found a beehive in the forest and created a cult with Tubbo as their leader, committed some light arson, ate some acrons (with the shell, obviously).

"I nearly drowned. I fell in the river and Tubbo's arms were too short to reach me, and obviously Ranboo's too much of a pussy to go into the water. Thank god for big man Philza Minecraft, he appeared out of literally nowhere and pulled me out. 10/10 would recommend Mr. Minecraft as a lifeguard. Best man for a near death experience."

"Hmm." You aren't able to get many words in, and settle for just listening to the boy rant as the two of you meander down a path to visit Snowchester.

"I've been waiting for Tubbo to ask me to become Michael's godfather." Tommy says. "How sick would that be? I'd make a great mob boss. Of course, people wouldn't come to me on the day of daughter's wedding because it would be my wedding, to my many wives--"

"Uh--"

"Oh, look Ranboo's over there! What a bitch. He gets even uglier up close, believe it or not."

"I--"

Tommy ran off to harass his friend. You sighed and leaned against a tree. You watched over them for a while, occasionally pausing to chat with the travelers that would pass by on the road: Puffy and Niki, Foolish, Purpled.

Eventually, you heard the footsteps approach and then falter. You glanced over and made eye-contact with Wilbur. He looked pale and sickly, squinting in the sunlight, clearly not able to handle the light in his hungover state.

He stares in silence, a distant frown on his face. You expect him to say something snarky, but instead he turns his gaze back to the road, and wordlessly continues on his way.

iill make part 3 soon i swear

[aster-is-confused]

google isn't being very helpful so hopefully disability tumblr can give some advice. what are the symptom differences in POTS vs. iron deficiency anemia vs. low blood sugar vs. low blood pressure vs. severe dehydration? i know that's a lot, but if you could just speak to the ones you know more about, i would appreciate it a lot. i'm trying to look into what could be causing my severe lightheadedness/presyncope when standing up, which has been going on for several years. details about my situation and symptoms below the cut

for about 2 and a half years now, i've been dealing with lightheadedness, loss of balance, seeing spots/vision blackout, and several times falling over and very nearly fainting. all of this happens almost exclusively when i stand up from sitting. it's not always super bad, sometimes it's just a bit of lightheadedness or tittinus and then i'm fine. it worsens significantly when i haven't eaten, drank, and/or slept much recently. when it started i figured it was my eating disorder causing low blood sugar (probably true), major lack of sleep contributing to the dizziness (also probably true), and severe dehydration too because at some point I started trying to exacerbate the symptoms as a cry for help (it was a rough year). but since then i've recovered and still have a lot of the same symptoms.

last year i asked my doctor and she just said i'm dehydrated, which i know is true, but it feels like more than just dehydration going on. today i finally decided to look into it further after all morning and afternoon my limbs were tingly while sitting down, my legs were very weak going down stairs, i felt kind of "static-y" all over for a few minutes after standing up (similar to the tingling in my limbs but everywhere), and i would get tittinus (ringing and muffled hearing) for like 60 seconds after standing up. things that probably made today worse than normal are that my eating, drinking, and sleeping habits have been not great recently because of exam season, and i did spend the vast majority of the day sitting (AP exam in the morning, homework in the afternoon).

i haven't yet tried the POTS 10 minute stand test, but i plan to tonight, but i know in the past i've had an oddly high heart rate and heavy breathing during very mild activity like getting up and walking across the house (i've always attributed the breathing to my asthma, but honestly it doesn't make much sense for something as simple as walking), as well as mild tremors and muscle weakness on bad days, and pretty regular brain fog and sometimes fatigue (i've usually just attributed both of those to adhd and depression). i've never had blood pressure issues that i know of, so i think plain old hypotension isn't likely. low blood sugar makes sense when i haven't eaten much, but i still have the symptoms (to a lesser extent) when I'm eating well. iron deficiency doesn't seem unlikely, although i had some bloodwork done for other reasons about 1.5 years ago (well after symptoms started) and i wasn't told that anything was abnormal. i've been pretty chronically dehydrated my whole life (urine charts put me at medium-severe dehydration depending on the day), but honestly i don't want to believe that it's just that. i have a doctor's appointment (yearly checkup) in about a week, and i'd like to be able to narrow it down somewhat and talk to my parents about it more before then so i can discuss it at the appointment.

any advice would be appreciated, and i'll probably edit the post once i've done the 10 minute stand test

UPDATE: 10 minute stand test results were definitely not normal, my resting rate after laying down still for a while was 75, then it hovered at 130-140 for the whole 10 minute standing period. evidence is currently leaning strongly towards POTS so i'll make sure to discuss it with my parents and doctor

[stormysnz]

Hazy Haircuts (M)

Hello! Jumping back in here quick to drop this because I've had a bit more time on my hands, and I had this half-written and decided to finish it up! Another very cute iteration of the Noah and Savannah chronicles with the both of them kind of a mess (as always lol). This is super messy and not super edited (because I just wanted to write and finish it and get it out there lol) soooo if the pacing is weird or there's spelling mishaps that would be why haha! Anyway, enjoy some banter from sick Noah and drunk Sav!

Today 11:58pm

Savannah: dont cut your hair noah

Me: …

Me: What?

Savannah: dnt do it

Me: Wasn’t really planning on it

Me: Wait aren’t you out right now? 

Savannah: oh yeah, look !!!!!

Savannah: *Attachment: 1 Image*

Me: Jesus Christ.

Me: You’re so drunk rn aren’t you?

Savannah: Mmmmmaybe

Savannah: if you think teh dizzy world makes me so drunk rn then yes

Me: Do I even want to know what ‘the dizzy world’ means?

Me: Yknow what, don’t even answer that. 

Me: Where’s Emmy?

Savannah: ooohhhh, her adn asher went to go do the thing

Savannah: hahahaha the thing like sex upstairs

Me: Yeah, I got that much

Me: So you’re alone rn?

Savannah: yea but im gonna start walking home soon im sleeepy

Me: There is no way in hell you’re walking home alone.

Savannah: yes thre is ! look!

Savannah: *Attachment: 1 Image*

Me: Jesus fuck

Me: Go back inside now Savannah, I’m coming to pick you up

Savannah: but im oky walking home

Me: Back inside now. I’ll be there in 5, send me the address

Savannah: fine can you brnig a snack

~~~

“Are you sureee?”

“As tembti’g as that offer is, I think I’ll pass. I’b driving, I cad’t have a drink, Sav,” I explained slowly, helping Savannah into the passenger seat of my car. I shivered against the cool, night air and shut the door gently before hopping into the driver’s side, starting up the car. 

“Mmmm right. Forgot,” Savannah hummed softly. Surely her view of the world right now was hazy at the edges, and it bled into her voice - lower than usual and syllables all blending together. 

Reaching for the gearshift, my hazy eyes settled upon something I’d shoved in one of the cupholders, blinking in remembrance. “Oh, here,” I tossed the bag of Goldfish I had snagged on the way out of my apartment into Savannah’s lap, a small grin tugging at my lips at the immediate brightening of her eyes. 

“Ohmygod, I could kiss you right now,” 

 Aaaand, the smile was quickly slipping off of my lips as I practically choked on air at her response. Christ, what was I gonna do with this girl…

I felt my cheeks heat up, and was suddenly very grateful for the midnight darkness that hopefully hid the blush well enough. Not that I really even understood why my body insisted on reacting like that…

Well…Okay, thinking about that too hard was bringing up a lot of confusing feelings that I was dead-set on not figuring out right now. Quickly brushing past the whole interaction, I reached for the plastic water bottle I’d also brought for the inebriated girl, passing it over to her after cracking the lid easily. 

“You gotta-hh! *snf!* gotta drink water, too, th-though,” I insisted, bringing my wrist up to quickly brush under my raw nostrils with a quick sniffle. Seemingly, my surprise regarding Savannah’s response had stolen away enough of my attention to allow a tickle to bloom in my currently annoyingly over-sensitive sinuses, despite how I tried to rub the sensation away. 

Fucking hell, this had been happening all day. Once I realized with a sigh that there was no use in fighting it, I quickly fumbled for the wad of tissues currently making a home in my pocket (I did not want to think about the sanitary-ness of that, but it was an issue for another time) and managed to press them to my dripping, widening nostrils at the last moment. 

“huh…hh-hiH! hh’DSHHhUE! hiH! eh’YYSHHiIEW! huh-uH!...”

My lashes fluttered and my head tilted back, mentally encouraging the all-consuming tickle in my nose to just grow the slightest bit bigger and let me--

“hUH! iIESSHHhhU! Nhh…s’cuse me,” A final, desperate sneeze threw my upper-body forward into the awaiting tissue-clump (which, honestly, wasn’t doing all too much considering I was always a tad late on bringing the clump up to my face to cover. But, the fact that I was even using tissues in the first place was probably a statement in and of itself).

“Bless you,” Savannah let out through a mouth full of Goldfish, apparently too focused on her snack to clock anything wrong with her chauffeur at the moment.

“Thag’k you. Water, too, Savad’ah,” Said chauffer reminded, blinking sinus pressure-induced tears from my eyes and sniffling thickly. Hopefully I’d be able to hold off on blowing my nose until Savannah was dropped off, but based on how I could feel congestion shifting already and liquid beginning to trickle down my sinuses, I didn’t trust my immune system to make that possible. Great.

I heard Savannah let out a soft groan, but grabbed the water nonetheless and began sipping at it as I started the car and began the way back to her apartment building.

The streets were quiet as I drove, colored brightness from traffic lights burning through the dark. Taking a left, my skin suddenly prickled with the feeling that there were eyes on me. Shifting most of my attention to my peripheral vision, I could just spot Savannah out of the corner of my eye, her head cocked slightly to the side as her gaze was fixed on me. 

“Wad’a take a picture?” I asked congestedly, not taking my eyes off the road. God, the congestion was building by the minute. And, if Savannah was in any better of a state of mind, she’d probably have noticed by now. 

“Hmm?” She hummed out blankly, eyes still pointed over at me. 

“It’ll probably last lo’ger,” I continued flatly, sending a pointed look over to Savannah, who had seemingly finished the snack-pack of Goldfish already. 

“No, I’m good. Well, actually, the album on my phone with hundreds of Noah Jameson pictures could probably use an update sooner rather than later…” Savannah let out teasingly, a grin across her lips. Ah, so the back-and-forth banter didn’t leave when she was drunk. Lovely.

 I couldn’t stop the fond shake of my head at her words. “Well, if you’re so worried about mby hair bei’g cut, you mbight actually wad’t to start collecting those photos, just id case,” I shot back, mirth in my eyes as I recalled what Savannah had originally texted me for. 

At some point between her sending of that text and this current moment, the still-tipsy girl had sobered just enough to be slightly embarrassed about that text, and I quickly noted a slight pink across her cheeks mixing with the freckles there. Ahh, I still got it even while dripping in congestion.

“Shut up,” Savannah groaned out, rolling her eyes with a soft smile. But, she should have known better than to think that I, Noah Jameson, would let it go that easily. Of course I was going to take it and run. As long as my nose could hold off on acting up.

“Ndo, ndo, really. I k’dow, mby hair is just wo’derful and luscious, it’s u’derstuhh…sta’dable --hH’RSHHHuhh… *snfl!* Ugh, sorry,” My teasing was cut off by my breath catching in my throat again, a heavy sneeze catching me off guard. Fuck, don’t crash, don’t crash… 

The congestion left me sniffling rapidly in the aftermath, though I pried my eyes open as soon as possible to make sure I kept my gaze on the road. A sneezing-related car crash was decidedly not what we needed at the moment. 

“Bless you,” Savannah hummed out, eyes narrowing. “Are you alright?” 

Clearing my throat to hopefully avoid the need for a coughing fit anytime soon, I nodded. God, was she catching onto the lapse in my health already? 

“Yeah, I’b good. A’dyway, a’dy reason you were obsessi’g over my hair at mid’dight od a Friday dight?” It was an obvious change-of-subject, but Savannah seemed to not notice in her current state. Thank God. 

“I was not obsessing--”

“--Ki’da seembs like you were obsessi’g,”

“Well, I wasn’t. Someone there was just talking about how they were going to cut their hair, and it kind of looked like yours, and I knew they wouldn’t look as good with their hair cut, so I texted you to make sure you wouldn’t,” Her tone indicated that it was obvious to why she would text me regarding hair at midnight while drunk. 

My gaze shifted over to her, brow raised with an amused smile dancing across my lips. 

Immediately crossing her arms and sinking down in her seat, Savannah shot back a quiet and petulant, “Shut up,”

“I didn’t eved say adythi’g,” I let out, voice much too bright with amusement and mirth. 

“Yeah, well, your face did,” The tipsy girl let out, obviously trying to pout her way into me feeling bad. God, why was it working a little bit? Must be my currently boiling brain from whatever bug I picked up. Speaking of…

My knuckles seemed to unconsciously rise to my nose, scrubbing the appendage harshly back and forth and back and forth and--

“Why are you doing that?”

At the slurred inquiry from the blonde beside me, my hand dropped and my eye shifted over to her for a moment too long before flicking back to the road. 

“You’re bei’g especially irrihh-tati’g todight, you k-k’dnow tha-hahht?” I was sure the comment couldn’t hit as was intended with it all being broken up by my breath catching. And because I was pretty sure I was, like, physically incapable of saying anything actually mean to this girl.

And she seemed well aware of that fact, considering the smug grin playing on her own lips. Or maybe she was just drunk. Who was to say?

“Mhmmm, I know. So, why--”

“hiRRSHHuU! G’SHHU-EHH’TSHHhhUE!”

“Christ almighty, give a girl some warning next time,”

I blinked my watery eyes open, thankful that we were nearing Savannah’s place. Meaning, we were currently driving through a residential neighborhood with minimal opportunities for sneeze-related crashes. “Snff! Sorry,” I mumbled, clearing my throat as I tried to direct my attention back to the road as best I could. Only a few more minutes, then I could--

“Are you sick?”

Fucking hell. “What’s with the idterrogatiod?”

“The what?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re u’dbearable. The in’derrogation,” I annunciated to the best of my ability, making a slow left turn. 

Out of my peripheral, I could see her shoulders rise and fall. “I dunno. Just curious. And you’re sneezing and sniffling all over your car, so…”

A soft, breathed out laugh escaped my throat. “Well, id’s n’dot like you’re in the best shape of your life either, prind’cess,” I replied, my eyes catching on the soft lights illuminating the road at the late hour. 

A frankly adorable snort sounded to my right. Why was my hazy mind adding in unhelpful adjectives like that? “Well, I’m just drunk,” She replied. Yeah, as if I couldn’t tell that from her slightly slumped posture, slurred speech, and the increased boldness. “You’re sick…Not like ‘sick’ cool, but like ‘sick’ actually si--”

“--Yeah, yeah, I gotcha, Sav,” I cut the poor, rambling girl off as I slowed to a stop in front of her apartment building, taking one hand off the wheel to rub at the pressure behind my eye. 

She had the slight awareness to look a tiny bit sheepish at her verbose stream of consciousness, and the way the corners of her eyes wrinkled up with her smile made my chest tight. Fuck, I couldn’t deal with figuring all these emotions out while my brain felt like it was boiling and every inch of my body was filled to the brim with heavy congestion. 

When my gaze found hers again after I put the car in park, I found her wide eyes on me, expression looking decidedly more…thoughtful(?) than before. “...W-what? Why’re you looking at m’be like that?” 

With the way she was looking at me, all wide-eyed and solemn, I was mentally begging her not to start crying. Was Savannah Mitchell a sad drunk? I didn’t want to know, really. Not right now, at least. 

“I’m sorry you had to come get me while you’re sick. You didn’t need to do that,” Her brow was just slightly furrowed, her fingers fiddling with a hair tie on her wrist. God, my mind couldn’t catch up with these mood swings while I was in this state. 

“Well, someo’de had to m’bake sure you did’t die. What would I do without your consta’dt ihhh-i’dnsults every la-hah!...lab?” 

“I dunno--”

“hihh…hhiH-IH!”

“Sneeze yourself to deat--”

“iyYISHHU!-EHhTSHHHIEW! hEH! EH’DSHhhIEW!”

“Yeah, just like that, actually,”

I’d managed to yank out my crumpled ball of tissues just in time for that wrenching triplet of sneezes, and it seemed like I still wasn’t done. I could still feel the itch slithering through my sinuses, causing instinctive twitches and wrinkles and flares of my nose as I sucked in thin gasps. My lashes were fluttered shut, pressure prickling behind my eyes as my head tilted back, attempting to build the tickle enough to fuel the upcoming sneeze.

“Bless you,” A smug voice sing-sang from beside me, apparently enough to tip the sneeze over the edge. 

“hIH’RSHHH!-ESSSHhHUE! aHD’SHHHIEW! hh-HIH! yYIISHHHUE!...nhh, Jesus,” Oh, massive headrush. I sniffled against the pressure seemingly everywhere in my face, one hand holding the very necessary tissue against my nose, with the other pressed against my sinuses lightly. 

My watery eyes blinked open to see Savannah with that thoughtful (God, it wasn’t thoughtful, it wasn’t solemn…What was the emotion that was slipping my mind??) look on her face again. God, that girl could not be any more expressive. If only my mind was working properly and I could actually tell what that expression across her face meant. 

She just seemed to stare over at me for a few seconds - whether she was actually thinking about something or she was just zoned out in a drunk haze was beyond my current comprehension - before shaking herself out of it.

“Well, if you don’t get back to your place soon, I think you might actually sneeze yourself to death. So, I will be on my merry way,” She insisted. 

I snorted out a soft laugh, scrunching my nose a few times as it shifted the congestion in my head. “Your ‘mberry way?’ God, I did’t kdow you turned into a mbiddle-aged white wob’an whe’d you drank,”

 Her head shook side-to-side with - this time I could place it - mostly exasperation, but a little hint of fondness. Perfect, just how I liked my Savannah reactions. 

“Shut up, just go home,” She let out with a soft laugh. “Thank you, for coming to get me. Really. I feel bad, you should be sleeping right now,”

I shook my head to wave her worries off. “Really, like I said, id’s d’ot a big deal,”

“No, it is,” She insisted, her eyes bright from alcohol and passion. “Ugh, you always do that - the ‘Oh, it’s not a big deal’ - but I swear it’s the biggest deal ever,”

I still wasn’t really following. “Sav, I saved you b’aybe four bucks o’d an Uber, id’s really d’ot--!”  

. . .

H-What?...S-Sorry, give me a few seconds for my brain to fucking reboot so I can make sure that that’s what actually happened and I didn’t actually hallucinate from this fever. 

. . .

Okay, nope, I’m sure I didn’t imagine that. 

Because it would be crazy for me to imagine Savannah cutting me off mid-sentence while talking about an Uber by leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.

Savannah Mitchell. Kiss on the cheek. To me, Noah Jameson. Who she did not like. (Well, we were in a kind of grey area now, weren’t we?) Christ, this was confusing. I honestly wish I had hallucinated it. 

But, of course, because of my lagging, Internet-Explorer-via-2006-speed brain right now, all I could do was stare at the girl, my mind whirring with questions of one, why that had happened, and two, what my correct response was. 

God, I hated this stupid fever-wracked mind - she’d only kissed my cheek, not flashed me, I shouldn’t be this awe-struck. But, there I was, footage of Savannah leaning in close and pressing her lips to my warm cheek on replay in my brain. 

And, though my brain felt like it was moving at molasses-pace, it must have only been around five seconds since Savannah pulled back because she was already moving to get out of the car and--

“Goodnight, Noah,” She said, a small grin pulled across her lips, her tone hazy and low from the alcohol mixed with a bit of mirth (surely at my reaction, which I was sure I’d be getting teased for the next fifteen times I saw her). 

And, just like that, there she left me in my car, staring after her as she blissfully hopped up to her apartment building.

Once she was safely inside her building and out of sight, a long groan escaped my throat, forehead falling onto my steering wheel. 

…Fucking hell, what was I getting into with this girl?

[midnightcreator12]

And We'll Keep Marching On Chapter 12 - Trapped Like Rats

AO3

When you spend all morning hanging out with fam and set a 1 hour alarm for a quick nap before editing....only to wake up well past that alarm. Yeah, promise I didn't intend to skip again! I just usually edit day of posting but I had plans and then kinda passed out, lol. But! Enjoy the newest chapter! Hopefully it'll clear some things up!

--------------------------

Donnie slowly blinked his eyes open, head pounding an unpleasant rhythm through his skull.

The side of his face felt…sticky. And not sticky like he’d drooled all over his desk after passing out. It was…thicker? How could a sensation be thick? And his arms felt…really heavy for some reason? And his neck hurt and…was there something over his mouth?

Actually, better question, where the heck was he?

The last thing he remembered…he’d gotten April’s text and immediately felt a bit indignant about it. Because yes, some people did go crazy when they mutated but, as far as he’d been able to puzzle together from many, many, many hours of research, any negative mental effects were from the physical pain of mutating more than the mutagen itself. But he didn’t want to just go and tell her that with no evidence and since the bulk of his notes were back in New York, he’d gone for the source.

Most Kraang tech seemed to be connected in some way so Donnie was confident that there would be more than enough data for him to show April that, no, they weren’t going crazy and he didn’t know why she thought they were but she was wrong.

He’d gone into the basement and then…

Then…

Something had hit him?

He jumped fully awake when something banged loudly to his side, eyes darting around to try and find the source as quickly as possible-

Until his sluggish brain finally started to function enough to register where he was and the state he was in.

His face was sticky with blood, he was painfully familiar with what drying blood felt like on his scales, which meant something had hit his head. His arms felt heavy because they were pinned to his sides by…some kind of slime? The texture was definitely like slime but when he tried to free his arms it kept him firmly pinned. And the same gunk was covering his mouth, preventing him from moving his jaw at all. A hiss of frustration and disgust slipped out, muffled by the gunk on his face.

Another bang made him flinch and look around. 

He was in the basement of the farmhouse, propped up with his shell to the wall, almost tucked behind the Kraang ship. And the banging turned out to be….Raven?

Raven was in a similar state to Donnie, except she seemed to be trying to use the Kraang ship as a brace, leaning on it as she tried to hop and squirm her way around it. The bangs were when she started to tip too far one way and would jerk herself back hard enough that her shoulder smacked painfully onto the hull of the ship.

Donnie tried to ask what she was doing….except the slime on his mouth very effectively prevented any legible words from coming out.

Raven’s head still snapped around at the sound of his grumbling, eyes wide in the dark as she stared at Donnie. He tried to gesture without the use of his arms, as if to ask ‘what are you doing?’

Raven’s eyes pinched and she jerked her head towards the basement stairs.

Donnie leaned so he could see-

Which turned out to be a terrible idea because it made his head spin and nausea roll in his guts. And the sudden dizziness promptly caused him to topple over.

Without his arms free to catch himself all he could really do was twist himself to try and make sure his shoulder took the brunt of the fall and not his jaw. He still groaned when he smacked into the packed dirt, shutting his eyes against the wave of nausea and focusing on his breathing.

He did not need to vomit when his mouth was already obstructed.

Once the feeling passed he cracked open an eye, looking at Raven first then slowly making his way to where she’d been gesturing. His eyes widened when he saw Mikey, also bound and gagged, lying on his shell closer to the stairs. But what concerned him was that Mikey’s eyes were shut and he wasn’t moving.

His gaze snapped back to Raven, eyes questioning. He couldn’t remember how he’d ended up in their current predicament, all he remembered was coming down to the basement and then…nothing.

Raven met his gaze steady, with the even calm she’d had when they’d all sat down and asked her questions about where she was from, and tipped her head again.

When Donnie looked towards Mikey again, he finally saw what Raven was aiming for. Mikey’s kusarigama lay in the dirt, blade gleaming like a beacon. 

Donnie nodded, paused, then tried to gesture towards Mikey with his eyes, hoping Raven would understand the silent question.

Is he okay?

Apparently, Raven was good at translating non-verbal communication, because she watched Donnie for a moment before lifting one shoulder.

Donnie himself, however, wasn’t that great at translating anything that wasn’t one of Leo’s complicated stings of hand signals. Which meant he wasn’t sure if the half-shrug meant maybe, I don’t know, or no.

He huffed and shut his eyes, debating a course of action.

When he decided on one, he sighed again. None of the things he could do in his current state were pleasant but the most efficient one would probably mess with his very possible concussion.

But there was something in the house, something that had managed to get the drop on him and Mikey and Miss. Super Soldier. Leo was still not fit enough to fight and if whatever had grabbed them had managed to sneak up on two ninjas and Raven, it would definitely be able to get the drop on April and Casey, which left Raph as the only line of defense.

And for as much as Raph would boast that he could fight anything, he really couldn’t. No alone, anyway.

So he gritted his teeth, lined himself up, braced his bound feet against the wall, and shoved his body forward enough to start rolling.

As he suspected, the movement rattled his brains around and made his gut roil, but it was the quickest way to get to the blade and, hopefully, escape.

He’d roughly calculated how many rolls it would take to get to his goal. The pounding in his head made it a little difficult to count while rolling but he should land close enough. And if he didn’t, Raven was slowly making her way over. Shell, she might even take a page from Donnie’s book and roll her way over.

He meant to check for the blade when he finally stopped himself but he had to screw his eyes closed again. The spinning had worsened his headache and the urge to puke had climbed to be almost unbearable. His body instinctively curled in, trying to protect his aching guts. He breathed harshly through his nose, keeping his jaw locked as he mentally fought through the new waves of discomfort.

He was just getting his body under control when there was a thump next to him. He cracked an eye open, and saw that the thump had been Raven plopping herself on the ground next to him. He groaned when he saw that he’d undershot his roll by about a foot. 

He started to souffle, getting ready to do another roll, but Raven made a muffled sound of protest. He looked towards her again, and watched her scoot and shuffle around until she was basically on top of the kusarigama.

With the way she was tied, her hands were positioned behind her back. So when she got close enough to the weapon, she spun so that her back was mostly towards Donnie and she could grab it. Donnie frowned as he watched, knowing there was no way she’d be able to cut herself free without either being insanely flexible, or hurting herself.

But she didn’t try to use the blade on her own bindings. Instead, she swiveled again and started to side-shuffle towards Donnie. 

Something clicked sluggish in his brain and he grunted, quickly turning himself so that his carapace was facing her. She might cut her own arm open if she tried to free herself first but it was pretty unlikely she could put enough power behind the blade to do any damage to Donnie’s shell.

He heard her move a bit more before he felt the kusarigama rasp against his back. He held perfectly still, anxiously waiting and listening as the weapon started to saw through the slime keeping him captive.

He heard the moment when something snapped and felt the tension ease on his torso. He instantly ripped his arms free, hands going to his face and tearing at the martial muting him. Except pulling on the stuff didn’t seem to do much, only stretched it a little before it would spring back into place. Donnie let out a low, clicking growl of frustration and his fingers tensed. He hadn’t kept up with nail trimming as often as he did at home so, while small, he had the beginnings of claws on both hands.

Claws that ripped and tore at the slime and finally left him gasp in a lungful of air when he managed to get it off his face.

But the sudden intake of oxygen seemed to be the last straw for his guts.

Donnie breathed in, cut himself off, and promptly rolled away to vomit up the meager amount of food and fluid in his stomach. It was more bile than food, making the smell burn harshly in his nose and causing him to gag again.

Thank god it passed quickly. Donnie sat for a moment, gasping as he got his second wind back. He spit out the last remnant of sick before sitting up again and turning back to his fellow captive.

Raven was watching him, brow pinched and eyes…the look reminded him or Leo when one of them was hurt, all glassy and concerned. He reached for his legs, rasping out a soft, “I’m okay.” 

Raven grunted. He could feel her watching as he finally freed himself fully.

The urge to immediately go to Mikey was nearly overpowering but he forced himself to stay focused. The best course of action was to free all conscious people first, in case whatever had attacked them heard the noise and came looking.

So he crawled over to Raven, grabbing the kusarigama from her and making quick work of the binds on her torso and legs. But he he moved to cut away the substance on her face,  she pushed the weapon away and violently shook her head before pointing to Donnie’s hands.

And the self-consciousness suddenly burned through him. There was a reason he usually kept his nails meticulously trimmed. The same reason he usually stuck his tongue out when he was focusing or frustrated, why he tried very hard to not tuck his neck too far into his shell in mixed company.

People didn’t have claws, or click, or tuck their heads into shells when they felt overwhelmed-

Raven let out a frustrated sound through her nose. Donnie jumped when her hand grabbed his and physically put them on her jaw.

…right, he forgot. Raven wasn’t a normal human either, she just looked like one.

She didn’t care. The only thing she cared about was not having a very large and very sharp blade near her face.

So Donnie bit the inside of his cheek and sunk his claws in, tearing away the muck quickly.

Raven pulled in a huge breath once her airway was clear, nodding and patting Donnie’s shoulder, “Thanks. Get Mikey free.”

She stood shakily and Donnie frowned in confusion when she started limping her way towards the Kraang ship again. But he didn’t ask yet, turning his attention to Mikey instead.

His fingers went to the pulse point as he cut away the slime and he breathed a small sigh of relief when he felt the steady, strong rhythm of Mikey’s heartbeat. He made quick work of the binds, dropping the weapon in favor of claws for the face once again.

“Mikey?” he called, tapping his brother's face  “Mikey? You with me?”

Mikey let out a breathy groan but didn’t move otherwise.

Donnie frowned, hooking him around his shoulders and lifting. But he froze when he spotted a small pool of red that was revealed when Mikey was picked up. His hand went to the back of Mikey’s head instantly, feeling a spot sticky with blood.

“It threw him,” Raven’s voice called from the other side of the ship. “He hit his head, not sure how responsive he’ll be.”

“It?” Donnie asked.

Raven limped back into view…with Scarp clutched in her hands, eyes black.

Donnie stared, “What-”

“He’ll be fine,” Raven murmured as she sat next to Donnie again, settling Scrap on her lap. “Both of them. But Scrap’ll wake up a lot faster than Mikey.”

“How’d you figure that?”

��Because I can do this,” Raven pressed her finger to the side of Scrap's head, causing a panel at the top to open. Donnie watched as she stuck her fingers inside and fiddled around for a moment before snapping Scrap's head shut again.

And like magic, as the opening clicked shut, tiny dots of light returned to the bot's eyes. He sat up, beeping and clicking quickly as his head flew back and forth.

“Calm down,” Raven murmured. “Think you can be a sentry for me for a lil?.”

Scrap beeped again but seemed to relax, hunkering down like a brooding bird. Raven placed him next to Mikey before turning to Donnie, “We gotta move.”

“What?”

Raven didn’t reply, merely pushed herself to her feet again and headed for the stairs.

“We can’t just leave Mikey here!” Donnie hissed.

“We can’t do anything until whatever…that was is taken care of. And I doubt anyone else has figured out that April’s mom isn’t what she seems.”

“April’s-” Donnie paused, recalling last night. Raven and Mikey had approached him in the barn and Mikey had gone on a rant about how Mrs. O’Neil was setting off his ninja vibes. Raven hadn’t ranted but she’d agreed something was off.

Donnie had blown them both off, told them to go bug Raph.

“What do you mean April’s mom isn’t what she seems?”

Raven paused at the foot of the stairs, turning as if to reply to Donnie.

An ear-piercing screech cut through the air, sending a chill up Donnie’s spine and making some deep-seated instinct in him scream ‘danger’.

Raven’s head snapped back around and she started climbing, pulling herself up faster with the handrail to compensate for her leg, “Move! Before we’re in deeper trouble!”

Donnie still hesitated, gaze dropping to Mikey. He was still out, the head wound would probably keep him down for a while…but the others were in danger.

Leo couldn’t fight in his state. 

Making a choice, Donnie carefully laid Mikey down again, pointing at Scrap and hissing, “Do not let anything happen to him.”

The bot's head swiveled around and he gave a short beep.

It would have to be good enough confirmation.

Donnie got to his feet, only stopping to grab Mikey’s weapon. He bounded up the stairs after Raven, catching up right before she hit the top. She hissed in pain when she got to the door but still moved to shove it open, Donnie quickly moving to help. But when they pushed, the door only rattled.

“Kriff,” Raven hissed, banging hashly on the door. “It locked us in.”

“Stand back,” Donnie narrowed his eyes at the door hinge, running calculations for angle and force as he snapped the kusarigama back to its nunchaku form. The metal and wood hummed as he built momentum and hit the first hinge with a satisfying crack, and the second followed quickly after.

Not accounting for the door caving in without any support from the hinges was a miscalculation on his part that he would blame on his head injury.

Luckily, Raven’s reflexes didn’t seem to be hampered. She pulled him back before he added another wound to his skull. The door snapped, the lock unable to hold it up and sending it fully to the floor. 

Raven’s hand whipped out, effectively shoving it to one side of the stairs as it tumbled to the bottom.

Donnie felt a flash on gratefulness that Mikey was to the side and not directly below. But he couldn’t dwell much on the feeling when another blood-chilling screech echoed from outside.

Both teens clambered out of the basement and Donnie took in the state of the ground floor. The front door was wide open, the entry hall rug had been shoved to one side, there was an awful screeching coming from outside-

Something thumped at the second story.

Donnie looked up and sucked in a panicked breath when he saw Raph leaning on the banister. Half his face was drenched in blood and his head seemed to be drooping listlessly and Raph was trying to forceable keep it up, his hands clutching the banister like a lifeline as he slowly tried to make his way to the stairs.

“Raph!” Donnie yelled. “Where’s Leo?”

Raph’s head rolled towards Donnie, eyes glassy and unfocused, “...‘eo…run…”

Raven shoved past Donnie, moving towards Raph and snapping, “Raphael, where is Mrs. O’Neil?”

“O’Neil,” Ralph’s words were slurred and he was clearly flagging but he still tried to get to the stairs. “Shessss….bad…Mike’s right…”

Another screech sounded from outside and Donnie turned his attention to it.

The door was open. Raph had told Leo to run. Run from Mrs. O’Neil…

Donnie took off in a sprint, following the direction the screeching was coming from. The sun was sinking and the treeline blocked out the light much quicker than the buildings of the city did. But there was enough light for Donnie to see…himself?

He was at the barn, screeching and howling as he clawed and bashed at the door.

Except that definitely wasn’t him. No, that was his worst nightmare. A feral, snarling, monstrous mutant version of himself.

But he couldn’t focus on that now. Because that copy wanted inside the barn, which meant someone must be hiding in there.

And that someone could be Leo, who was still hurt and still couldn’t walk or fully rotate his right arm.

Donnie snarled, extending the chain and blade on Mikey’s chuck, building momentum as he ran and letting it fly when he got close enough.

The blade hit true, slicing across the imposter's shell. The copy’s back arched, screaching as the blade cut and…bright green wept from the imposter's shell?

Donnie blinked, staring at…what he assumed to be blood?

The fake Donnie spun, eyes wild, teeth bared, face twisted into a terrifying snarl.

It lit all of Donnie’s instincts on fire, made his own lips pull back and gnash his teeth. He planted his feet, pulling the end of the kusarigama into his hand again.

The fake hissed, turning to fully face Donnie.

And then…smiled?

Donnie didn’t have much time to dwell on it. Because, between one blink and the next, he suddenly found the duplicate right in his face, overly pointed teeth snapping inches from his beak. He jerked back, quickly pulling in the chain so he could better utilize the chuck for close-quarter combat.

The fake growled, low and garbled, claws striking out lighting fast and striking Donnie’s chest. His plastron absorbed most of the blow but the power behind it still pushed him back. But he kept his footing, managing to bring an arm up to spin the nunchaku. It cracked against his imposter’s skull, sending it reeling away.

Donnie fell back, chunk spinning as he geared up for another attack-

The imposter moved again, too fast for Donnie to track. He gasped in pain when claws raked over his arm, focus faltering. And that was all it took for the handle of the chuck to go wild and crack Donnie in the jaw. The shock and pain caused him to drop the weapon, both hands moving to his now bloody chin.

It was another misstep on his part, since it gave the imposter an opening.

Donnie yelped as a fist socked him in the jaw, stumbling back. Another hit to his gut had him on the ground and he was pressed into the dirt by a powerful kick to his carapace that rattled his jaw badly enough that he accidentally sunk his teeth into his own tongue.

He coughed, spitting blood as he shakily tried to get his limbs back under him. But he was stopped by another hard kick to his side that forced him down again with a wheeze.

He looked up, glaring at the imposter. It just smiled back, eyes glowing a sickly pink.

A shade of pink that had Donnie freezing on the ground, memories of shattering glass suddenly surging to the forefront of his mind.

And then the imposter…morphed.

The green scales and yellowing plastron almost shivered, shifting and smoothing into pink skin and purple fabric. Bulky hands and feet shrunk, three fingers splitting into five, bare feet suddenly becoming a par of flats. Another shiver went through the…the thing, like it was setting the transformation. 

And then it was Mrs. O’Neil standing over Donnie, smiling wickedly.

Donnie let out a strangled sound, started to get to his feet again-

Mikey’s nunchuck cracked harshly against his skull, sending him down again.

He could feel more blood pouring down his face and his heartbeat thudded in his ears, almost drowning out any other sound. He tried to move, get up, keep fighting but his limbs refused to cooperate and he only managed to turn his head to look toward the barn.

He could hear the…shapeshifter? It was yelling, calling in Mrs. O’Neil’s voice.

Through blurry vision, he saw the barn door shake and he whimpered when it was pushed open. Desperately, he tried to move again, fingers twitching as he tried to fight through the pain.

The creature approached April, arms open, inviting, trying to grab and trap and Donnie couldn’t…that couldn’t…

His heart seized when April opened the door enough for him to see Leo, shaking and leaning fully on Casey and looking so, so scared. But his head turned to Donnie almost immediately and Donnie saw Leo’s eyes widen, saw his jaw tick.

He had to move, damnit, he had to move, Leo couldn’t fight-

Leo looked away, eyes snapping to where the shapeshifter was still approaching. Donnie tensed when he saw Leo’s body go taught, his lips pulling back in a snarl, eyes going fully white.

Donnie heard Casey yell, saw Leo shove him away and charge at the shapeshifter, heard and saw April’s cry of confusion.

Leo dug his claws into the creature's shoulders and dragged them down, ripping and tearing all the way down the thing's torso.

The ringing in Donnie’s ear lessened a little, enough to hear April’s scream more clearly. He gasped when Leo suddenly flew through the air, thrown by an invisible force. He could feel how hard his brother hit the ground, heard the strangled yowl of pain when he landed on his injured shoulder.

And finally, Donnie could move. He still felt too shaky to stand but he managed to force his arms to drag him forward, closer to Leo, close enough that he could curl himself over Leo as best he could.

He looked up, eyes finding April and Casey’s horrified expressions. But the two were looking at very different things.

Casey’s gaze was on the shifter, eyes getting wider and wider, probably seeing that Mrs. O’Neils blood was a neon green instead of red. But April was standing slightly in front of Casey and the imposter and her eyes were firmly locked on Donnie and Leo.

Donnie flitched at the raw fear and anger she fixed on them. He may not have her on a metaphorical pedestal anymore but…it hurt, seeing her look at him like he was a monster.

Then Casey’s voice rang out, clear as a bell, “What the actual fuck is that?!”

April spun and Donnie allowed his gaze to move to the shapeshifter. He watched in a detached fascination as its body spasmed, skin and clothing rippling as it curled around the gashes Leo had left. The pink, human flesh changed, turning a deeper red and seeming to almost…split. Smooth skin became a mass of ropy tendons, breaking apart at the end of the arms into a mass of tentacle-like appendages.

The creature lifted its head, the face a macabre in-between of a human and something…clearly not. Fair skin tone mixed with an ashy blue, a few spots along one cheek spasming into the red tendons, crawling up towards one eye glowing bright pink.

Its lips thinned, seeming to almost dry out as they pulled back to show needle-like teeth as the creature hissed.

April stepped back and Donnie just heard her voice saying, “What…what…mom?”

“Aaapril,” the monster growled, body still morphing, all human pretenses being overcome by rapidly expanding muscles.

The thing grew, towering higher and higher as its body became some kind of twisted, fleshy spider creature, another pair of arms dropping out of its sides before it fell onto it’s six limbs. The neck extended, giving the illusion of it being even bigger, the face fully changing to resemble a Kraang and the mouth opening wider and wider into a yawning maw. 

April stood, frozen as she watched her mom transform into a monster.

It loomed over April, grotesque face leering down as it rasped, “I only want to protect us April. You have to liiisten”

“Get away from her!” Casey howled, charging towards the monster, swinging his baseball bat over his head. “Goongala!”

He landed a solid hit on one of its legs.

The blow made it skitter away, attention turning to Casey. It screeched again, and a thick tentacle zipped out of its back, slamming Casey back into the barn.

Donnie tensed when the pink eyes then turned to him. His arms tightened around Leo, trying to pull him further under his own body as the creature released more tentacles from its back.

“It was always meant to be ussss,” It hissed, starting to stalk toward Donnie and Leo. “April issss mine. Aaaalll miiine!” 

Donnie screwed his eyes shut as the creature rose on its hind legs. Because he couldn’t do anything else. He was hurt, bleeding, unable to even entertain the idea of standing let alone fighting. All he could do was protect Leo. 

He tucked his head down, hoping that he could at least sheild Leo enough that he could make it, spare him from dying here. Leo couldn’t die, Donnie wasn’t going to fail him again-

Something screeched through air, there was a pop, a hiss of something hot burning flesh and the creature roared in pain.

Donnie's head snapped back up, just in time to see a flurry of pink laser bolt rain into the creature, forcing it back. He looked to where they were coming from.

Raven limped her way across the yard, Kraang laser rifle held in her arms and rapidly firing, eyes hard and focused as she pressed in.

The shifter screeched as the bolts burned into it, scrabbling away, tentacles moving in an attempt to shield itself, “Inssssolent creature!”

“Says the skanah who can’t fight fair!” Raven screamed back, adjusting her aim so that more bolts hit the shifter in the face. “Why don’t you come after someone who can fight back!”

The shifter roared, tentacles shooting towards Raven. 

She ducked, rolled, tried to avoid the appendages while keeping up her volley.

But the shifter was quicker.

Donnie gasped when one tentacle managed to trip Raven, and that was all the monster needed to get a hold of her. The powerful limbs curled around her, trapped her arms, forced the rifle from her hands. Raven kicked and struggled, even growled up at the thing holding her.

It hissed in return, coils tightening around its prey until it managed to turn Raven's growl into a scream of pain.

“Stop!” April’s voice cracked through the chaos like a whip. 

Donnie flinched at the shockwave he felt in the air, tucking himself down again to shield Leo. He heard April scream again, her voice mingling with the creatures as it screamed. Both voices rose with the feeling of power in the air, crackling like a live-wire.

And when the screaming seemed to reach its peak, when the  pressure in the air started to feel suffocating, when Donnie thought he might bust from all the noise and sensation-

There was a pop, and something slimy landed all over Donnie’s back.

And then… silence.

Slowly, Donnie peeked up again, taking in the scene.

The creature was…gone. The only thing left was a massive splatter of green slime all over the ground. Raven was slowly sitting up, one arm hugging her ribs. April stood, staring wide-eyed at where the monster used to be.

Donnie wasn’t fully sure what happened but…if he had to guess, he was pretty sure April exploded the shapeshifter with her powers.

And now that the danger was quite firmly gone…his body started to tremble. 

Donnie felt his muscles go lax and his eyes fell shut. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he shouldn’t pass out. He has…so many injuries to check, and all of his brothers had some kind of head injury…

But the adrenaline was leeching out of him and with it all his energy and willpower.

His world went black and the last thing he heard was Casey once again yelling, “The fuck just happened?!” 

-------------

Translations:

Kriff - fuck

skanah - fucker

[wallisninety-six]

Why 'Smile' is The Beach Boys'- and Brian Wilson's magnum opus

The Beach Boys, for many decades have had something of an identity crisis- the band mainly seen in mainstream as the fun & sun loving surfer band, soon gained newfound acclaim for the landmark production of Pet Sounds and saw growing interest in the band's (and Brian Wilson's) extremely tumultuous and even tragic history simultaneously. Smile manages to touch upon all of this at once, as we see the stunning transformation from the small teenage-led garage band in Hawthorne becoming musical and cultural icons.

What was planned to be a album meant to top Pet Sounds & The Beatles' soon-to-be album Sgt. Pepper- Smile has seen one of the most consequential episodes in all of rock history, But beside the legends & the endless debates surrounding it...what about the album itself? (For numerous reasons I talk about here, the 19-track, three-movement version on The Smile Sessions is the version (I believe) people should go to to experience their first listen with if you want the Beach Boys version of it- and is what this review is based on).

Truth be told, I do think Smile actually ties Pet Sounds for their best work, because its existence makes it so hard for me to choose *just* one album considered to be their best. And even if you never knew the album's history, the original songs easily represent the absolute culmination of Brian Wilson's then-only 5-year long career as a songwriter, composer, producer, and innovator in the industry- and he was only 23 when he started Smile.

For all the growing concerns that the Boys weren't cool or heavy enough during the 60s, and even though the album leans more on the experimental- Smile is still unapologetically Beach Boys in its sound, staying on-brand and allowing us a comfortable way to listen to newer, even challenging musical ideas. Brian's radically experimental composition chops are shown in full, dizzying force- with Smile, Brian was creating editing and production techniques that were so new and novel at the time, it would rarely be attempted again until digital music editing was more common decades later. The music world was his playground, and he was ready to try anything.

Some people may lament certain tracks (like "Holidays") are majority instrumental (due to the album being unfinished)- especially in comparison to Brian's solo version, but this is nothing new: Most Beach Boys albums up to this point had instrumental tracks where Brian tried new compositions, and Pet Sounds & Smile was no exception. But where Pet Sounds evolved instrumentals into *compositions* to fit the album's flow- Smile takes it several steps further. It (unintentionally) sets a positive example that not every song in an album- nor the album itself, needs to be conventional in any way. It was a bold new world and experiment for rock music- why be dogmatic with established rules?

If "Good Vibrations" was a 'Pocket Symphony', then Smile is the symphony itself and these songs are Brian's compositions, and like with editing, tried everything and used various levels of instruments and non-instruments to create a raw, bold new sound- and with the other Beach Boys, Van Dyke Parks and The Wrecking Crew musicians, it would slowly (and painfully) be realized.

The array and variety of sounds and moods in Smile's very compositions are stunning- it's seen in the dizzying Americana and Western sound of "Heroes & Villains", the gorgeous baroque tones of "Wonderful", the monstrous and hypnotic industrial noise of "Cabinessence", and the freakishly apocalyptic orchestral breakdown of "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow"- easily the most unnerving, intense, and horrifying song in all of Beach Boys canon. And like any good Beach Boys album- the more you listen, the more things that were hidden show themselves to you in Smile.

But that didn't mean that the vocals were neglected- far from it, and some of the best vocal and harmony work ever from The Beach Boys exist in Smile- and the opening hymn "Our Prayer" starts the album out reminding us this. And they're all utilized to terrific extent, especially with the songs mentioned above- the whole album wouldn't be the same with it all *completely* gone.

That leads into why the album- even though it's unfinished, sounds so weirdly whole and complete, and that was the incredible musical ingenuity of Brian Wilson as a songwriter & producer and his creative ways of breaking through the future of music with passionate and stylish brute force, while tastefully and lovingly honoring the old that inspired his musical world- going over countless genres & emotions in the process... and having it all still sound like it fits together.

Smile represents the most delicate balance of extreme contrasts, but this balance is miraculously pulled off for each one- quiet and loud moments, humorous & emotional, conventional songs versus songs with no rules, new instrumentals & old classical ones, and a dying old world versus the birth of something new led by impassioned youth...sometimes all in the same song.

The youth and vulnerability of Brian, however, was also unintentionally the project's downfall- He had too many ideas, so many aspirations and grandiose statements to make- but also had too much mental trauma and issues, and like many of his contemporaries, he flew too close to the sun and burned up his talents and energy in the process with a fiery glow.

Smile's purpose as a spiritual statement of youth surrounds all of the album- but even back then, Brian knew it could never last, he was slowly getting older, and reality- like it does with most people, birthed a brutal wake up call to his ambitions & outlook for the world- that more just future where the young could transform society & the world for better never came, and Smile's collapse would be an eerie warning to what the world would look like. After that- politics of love would turn into politics of conflict, as racial hatred and war loomed over America, and the Summer of Love would be violently torn apart by reality.

But while Brian eventually took a serious mental blow and had to scrap the project- he went down fighting tooth and nail, still believing that the band, and rock music itself can ascend to something more- the song "Surf's Up" encapsulates this entirely, declaring an end to the band's surfer image, and embracing a new and freer musical world. And while it's filled with dazzling (and even confusing) wordplay, the most simple, and easily understood part came at the end of it- the clearest message from the album and Brian himself, and tellingly- added years after the project's collapse:

A children's song, Have you listened as they played?, Their song is love, And the children know the way...

The fact that Brian would be able to actually live to see his vision fulfilled and completed on is own terms despite so much extreme trauma he went through- and see newfound love for Smile by younger folks listening to it for the first time 40 years later *and* make their own versions out of musical passion, shows that with time, these dreams can become reality- and planting those seeds for that world you believe in for the next generation to be inspired by... is always worthwhile.

[pbandjesse]

Well I wanted to go to work today. I fully planned on it! I was not feeling amazing but I woke up and got dressed and was about to put my shoes on when Alexi texted that it was snowing at camp and we should stay home. Oh. Okay. There were flurries outside which was pretty but I was very confused about this snow day. But I'll take it.

I wasn't entirely sure if we were actually staying home though. The way she phrased it I was not sure if I should be ready to head in later. But I wanted to be ready so I did not fall asleep. At least not for a while.

James has packed me breakfast and lunch and we're downstairs doing their thing. And I was a little unsettled and not feeling amazing. I wasn't exactly sure what to do with myself. So even though I didn't want to go back to sleep I did get in bed. I was very cold.

I would spend the first hour drawing and being cozy. James went to the museum to get a free bagel from the new bagel store that opened today. And would stay for a bit to help them with a weird school group issue. But I'm glad they were able to help and were safe biking in the wet snow outside.

I would wander around the house a bit. I decided we should move some of the boxes in the studio with my knickknacks to the small room for now. But I only got one box up before I got super tired. I am doing better but I am still so weak. And get so winded so quickly. Which is not fun for me at all. It makes me feel terrible. But I did my best.

I would end up falling asleep for a little. James would come back and I would be out. Just dead asleep. And that made me feel a lot better. When I woke up I finally had some work to do. Elizabeth needed me to edit a PDF and Alexi let us know we would be a part of a meeting at 1. Excellent. While I waited for the meeting I had some ice cream and worked on a drawing for Valentine's day. Which I will print tomorrow.

James would go for a bike ride during my meeting. And it was a nice little meeting about volunteering and how we're going to structure the program. I asked if I could do some research about trainings we could have them do to make the program more well rounded. It was nice to see Sarah and Alexi. Poor Sarah was struggling really hard with her connection but we made it through. And I spent the next hour or so researching and working on a few things.

James would take the car to go get some more stuff from the apartment. We are coming up on there only being some stuff left. Which is nice. Still some books to pack but I'm really happy with the progress. I hope next week to fill holes and clean. And then move my fishtanks. We are going to hopefully buy their new table this weekend at IKEA. I'm really looking forward to having furniture.

While James was gone I attempted to hang the curtain rods in our bedroom. Which went semi successfully but I got very very dizzy having my hands over my head. When James got back they helped me finish them and I really appreciated that.

They brought my table for my band saw back and I got that in place in the basement. And we worked to put more stuff away. Sweetp continues to run around on the vents in the basement. I hung a few pictures in the bedroom. James was downstairs making me something for Valentine's Day. So I was sequestered upstairs for a bit. But that was okay.

Eventually I ran out of steam. I felt gross. I tried my theory about turning the sink on to get the shower to work and it worked? Like it's still not hot but it's so much warmer and I was able to actually comfortably wash my hair and didn't feel rushed or anything. It's still not perfect but it's so much better. And it was really nice being clean.

I hung out in bed for a long time after that. James would make us spaghetti for dinner and we sat together in the living room watching a video about RL Stein. James telling me memories about being a kid and borrowing goosebumps from the library. The pasta didn't taste like much, because my sense of taste is all messed up still, but the love was there.

I wanted to sort the rest of the art we have in the ground but I just didn't have the energy. Instead coming upstairs. It is going to be so nice when we have a sofa downstairs but for now, the bed is good enough.

James is having their book club with their friends. Jess is on a first date. And I am thinking about going to sleep early.

Tomorrow is valentine's day! James and me are going to have special pizza at home. But I hope to have a nice day at work first. I love you all. I hope you are feeling good tonight.