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reyrapidsbutgayer · 1 year ago

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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability

It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this. (And an equally horrible post featuring the DLC bosses.)

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

Dragonkin Soldier:

Mindless beast

Astel, Naturalborn of the Void

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Fia's Champions:

Ghosts, simps.

Regal Ancestor Spirit

Animal

Erdtree Avatar

A plant

Great Wyrm Theodorix

Mindless beast.

Ulcerated Tree Spirit

A plant, no junk

Tibia Mariner:

Skeleton

Red Wolf of the Champion:

Animal.

Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Abductor Virgin

First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.

Erdtree Burial Watchdog

Stone gargoyle

Crystalians

Non-organic

Mad Pumpkin Heads

Unable to consent due to madness.

Cemetery Shade

Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.

Spirit-Caller Snail

Animal

Runebear

Animal

Miranda the Blighted Bloom

A plant

Guardian Golem

Stone gargoyle

Starscourge Radahn:

Unable to consent due to madness

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Elden Beast:

Too catholic.

Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:

Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.

Omenkiller:

Basically a cop.

Necromancer Garris:

Killed his family, not a good husband.

Royal Revenant:

Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)

Godrick the Grafted:

Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

Valiant Gargoyle:

Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.

Malenia, Blade of Miquella:

Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)

Death Rite Bird:

I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.

Black Blade Kindred:

Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.

Maliketh, the Black Blade:

Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.

Morgott, the Omen King:

You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.

Draconic Tree Sentinel:

Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.

Wormface:

Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.

Tree Sentinel:

Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.

Elder Dragon Greyoll:

Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.

Grafted Scion:

There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

Esgar, Priest of Blood:

No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)

Mohg, Lord of Blood:

This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.

Borealis the Freezing Fog:

Too cold, not a snuggler.

Elemer of the Briar:

The armor stays ON during sex.

Kindred of Rot:

It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.

Sanguine Noble:

Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.

Decaying Ekzykes:

He's sick right now, leave him alone.

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:

I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.

Grave Warden Duelist:

I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.

Night's Cavalry:

If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.

Alabaster Lord:

Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.

Onyx Lord:

Same as the Alabaster Lord but slightly more goth.

Fell Twins:

Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.

Demi-Human Queens:

I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.

Stonedigger Troll:

If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.

Flying Dragon Greyll:

A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.

Glintstone Dragon Smarag:

A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.

Beastman of Farum Azula:

On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.

Battlemage Hugues:

Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.

Commander O'Neil:

Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.

Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:

The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.

Adan, Thief of Fire:

The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.

Soldier of Godrick:

He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.

Flying Dragon Agheel:

One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.

Demi-Human Chief:

Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

Lichdragon Fortissax:

A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.

Crucible Knight Siluria:

A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.

Mimic Tear:

A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?

Commander Niall:

A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.

Fire Giant:

Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.

Ancient Hero of Zamor:

Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.

Cleanrot Knight:

Lesbian activities detected.

Crucible Knight:

These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.

Glintstone Dragon Adula:

Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.

Bols, Carian Knight:

He seems like a good boy.

Scaly Misbegotten:

I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.

Leonine Misbegotten:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Misbegotten Warrior:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

Crucible Knight Ordovis:

Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.

Perfumer Tricia:

She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.

Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:

You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:

As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

Dragonlord Placidusax:

Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...

Ancient Dragon Lansseax:

Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.

Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):

We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

Radagon of the Golden Order:

He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.

Godskin Duo:

Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.

Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:

The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.

God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:

Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.

Black Knife Assassin:

They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.

Patches:

If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.

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cameronspecial · 1 year ago

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Let Me Strip, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Genitalia and Removal of Clothes

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Summary: Some drunken games are ones that Y/N really doesn't want to have to clean up after.

Masterlist

How does Y/N know her boyfriend is way too drunk right now? He calls a frat wide hour strip game to order. It doesn’t help that his groupies are encouraging his behaviour. She isn’t jealous of them because she trusts Rafe and knows how much he loves her, but she knows how this game is going to end. Every hour the boys in the fraternity remove one article of clothing of Rafe’s choice until she has to chase after one of the boys to stop him from streaking down a street that should be kept family-friendly. As much as she loves seeing his chiselled abs, she does not want to have to do that again.

The only person that can call off the game is the frat president. “Rafe, can you please call the game off? Some of the boys already have three strikes and will be expelled if they are arrested for streaking,” Y/N begs, trying to take the solo cup out of his hand. He looks at her with loving eyes and gives her neck kisses, “Come on, let me strip, Angel. It’s just a fun little game.” She rolls her eyes at him trying to butter her up with kisses. “Rafey, it’s twelve o’clock. Time to take off your pants,” Beatrice interrupts, flashing her lock screen with the time on it to him. Rafe drunkenly nods his head and tries to pull down his pants. Rafe yells, “Alpha Epsilon Pi! Pants.”

Y/N sighs at the action, helping him unbutton his pants so he can take them off. One problem at the time and streaking is a much bigger problem than a pantless boyfriend. At least they still have both socks to take off first. He cheers like a toddler when he finally gets his pants off. “I want you to wear my pants like a scarf, Angel. Show the boys who you belong to,” he slurs out the demand, wrapping his khaki around her neck. She just shakes her head and unwraps the pants from her neck. She is already sweating with his t-shirt and flannel on. “You know last time you played this game, I chased a naked Topper down the street and had to tackle him. Do you really want me to be that close to his bare dick, again?” she leverages, twirling his pants’ leg in a circle. This news causes Rafe to stop in his tracks; he has totally forgotten that fact.

He sobers up quickly, “You’re right, I don’t want that. I’ll call the game off.” His pout absolutely kills Y/N because she hates to see him sad. “You can keep the game going with the socks but you have to stop at the boxers. Deal?” she offers, ghosting their fingertips together and stepping closer to him. His expression quickly turns to a grin, “Deal. You are the best girlfriend ever, Angel. I love you!” He gives her a quick peck on the lips and runs off screaming how amazing she is to the overcrowded party. She lets out a giggle at her boyfriend’s childishness and heads upstairs to get rid of some of the clothes that are causing her to overheat.

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pinkslaystation · 8 months ago

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[Part 3] If I meant something to you.

toxic!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Here's Part 1 and Part 2 hehehe enjoy ;> Word Count: 5k trigger warning: drugging. viewer discretion is adviced.

Dating Simon reminded you of the British economy, constant fluctuations.

He would stay over at your flat, shower you with wet kisses, and the next day he'd walk right past you as if you didn't exist.

It felt like at times Simon did really love you. He listened you to, he brushed and plaited your hair post sex, but sometimes it's like his brain would switch and his behaviour would mimic that of a ghost.

Though it been nearly 3 months since he'd popped that question in the car, you often found yourself regretting your decision.

"I do like him...but I mean- it's just, he doesn't like me back you know? Sometimes I wake up and he's just staring at me like I've just told him I've killed his dog. I mean, he doesn't have a dog I don't think, but if he did, he'd prefer the dog over me, y'know.

I don't even know why I said yes that day. I mean, he's the first real guy that's actually shown interest in me. Maybe that's why I crave his attention so much. He makes me actually enjoy being with my family, if that's so hard to believ-"

"With all due disrespect, d'ya know you?" Your neighbour answers finally.

You stare back, blood rushing to your face, "I literally live next door to you. I smile at you before I leave for work every morning-"

"So, there's nothing wrong with your face?

"What? You know me- and I'm talking about Simon, he's next door to me too..."

"What?"

"You know skull face..."

"Who?"

"Tall buff dude, y'know."

"Huh?

"Riley-"

"Oh, the guy with the big dick."

You choke on your saliva, "What- How? Um..."

"Military dude yeah? The fit blonde? Yeah, he's big, if you get what I'm saying, virgin."

You furrow your eyebrows, words trailing off, "No I'm not...I'm sorry, how'd you know..."

"Yeah, he's fucked like everyone in this building, girl. Why d'ya think he doesn't come to the flat meetings? 'Cos then he'd be surrounded by all the people he's stuck his dick in, duh." She states like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Guy comes in, drinks a bit, and runs out."

"...I thought it was because he was nervous to see....me?" At this point, you don't know if you're telling your neighbour or asking her.

"Oh girl don't be delusional, you ain't no Beyonce. Anyway, been a while since I got that dick. Let 'im know next time you see 'im." She winks at you before, hobbling off with her walking stick.

"Yeah...sure...wait- Mrs Brenda, you're like 65... AND MARRIED-"

When the 3rd month anniversary mark finally reached, Simon decided to treat you to an expensive meal at a luxurious restaurant.

And by that I mean, 6 McNuggets at Maccies.

"They're cold, babe." He complains, slouching across you, one leg bent and propped on his seat.

Yes, Simon. Because you spent 15 minutes arguing with the worker for an extra packet of mayo. But you refrained yourself from saying that, in case you'd anger him further.

"So how's the task force?"

You've learnt very little about Simon, one part that stuck out to you was that the people he was closest to was his team in the military, naming his Captain John Price, who seemed to pop up in every conversation the two of you had.

"You got that 'lil mustache on yer face again."

"Excuse me?"

"Nah babe, it's cute. Reminds me of Captain's."

It hurt even more when he showed you a picture of John Price and you're face to face with a middle aged man with a full grown beard, who's being compared to the peach fuzz on your upper lip.

"Team's good." He sighs out of exhaustion. "Soap's engaged now, y'know."

You smile, mind suddenly racing to the thought of Simon proposing to you, but you shake it away, oddly cringing at the thought.

"'Old man's thinking of getting transferred to the States. Finally..."

The thought of Simon being jealous over his Captain was always a hidden theory for you. He'd mention it so frequently, it was as if he was keeping tabs on his superior, bringing it up at every moment at his signs of weakness. And when he'd compare Price to you, it was never in a positive light, rather one where it felt like he was looking down at Price, but through you.

You wondered if Simon had a superiority complex, and maybe that's why he'd chosen a little naive lamb like you, to project all of his insecurities onto you.

I mean, you're not gonna do anything about it are you? Nah, you're gonna take it like the good little girl you are.

I mean you are right now- literally.

His dick is cramped right in your pussy, his rounded tip rapidly kissing at your cervix. His chapped lips crash against yours, but you can't seem to ignore the faint taste of his Big Mac through his mouth.

"Can tell your cunt likes that, 'lil slut." He seethes out, through inconsistent breaths. You can barely hear him, through the sound of your sweaty bodies colliding and the ringing through your head.

You hum uncomfortably. It was gonna be a long night.

The following weekend, you find yourself spending eons getting dolled up for a get together at the base. You decorated your face with a bold smokey eye, paired with a lined red lip, only to be mocked by Simon.

"Red? We're going to base, not the circus."

So you take off the lipstick. And the eye makeup. In fact, even when you changed from a tight black pencil skirt to a matching sweatshirt and joggers combination, you still find yourself being berated by Simon.

"Getting kinda lazy with the clothes huh, love?" He asks, cocking his eyebrows towards you.

Is he for real?

Grunting in response, you look out the window, shoving your headphones in, grateful for the noise cancelling feature so you wouldn't have to sit through Simon's mouth breathing throughout the journey.

The meeting itself was as awkward as imagined. The moment the pair of you entered the room, Simon decided to detach his arm wrapped around your shoulder and immediately brisk walk to the nearest woman possible. If he was trying to fool his team to thinking he was single...boy was he good at it.

Being left out in an unfamiliar space was unfortunately not too foreign for you, and you quickly found solace by the water fountain, sipping on a plastic cup of lukewarm water.

"Bored, eh?"

You jump, having zoned out.

You turn to a man you've seen oh so many times on Simon's phone.

"Captain John Price?" You smile.

"The one and only, lass. My, a pair of sweatpants. Priorising comfort, are we?" He jokes, lightly.

"Were you expecting lingerie?"

"Pretty either way." He chuckles, and you eye the way his eyes squint as he smiles, and the smile lines painting his cheeks. You shouldn't be looking at your boyfriend's competition captain this way.

You're at peace with John. You find yourself opening up about yourself, something you now know you couldn't truly do around Simon. John cared about what you said, reacting to every joke you dropped here and there, unlike Simon, who plays connect the dots with your forehead blemishes as you rant passionately.

John chuckles, "Oh God. Work sounds intense."

You hum, admiring his laughter, which cuts off to the sound of a loud buzzing (buttplug?) coming from his back pocket. He excuses himself from the conversation, but you can't help but eavesdrop.

"John Price speaking. Yes. Uh huh-what? Another soldier? Same substance? Christ's sake...Doctor's got a name? Succiny- Succinylc- what? Okay, okay. I'm coming, gimme 20 minutes-what, now? I'm...busy" He turns to flash you a small smile, "Okay, fine. Dammit."

"You okay, seemed urgent?"

He dramatically sighs, "We both got work problems...There's been a...how do i say this...another one of our soldiers have been getting drugged?" It sounds more of a question than an answer, "We think it's some sort of new drug on the black market, and now that our enemy's have a hold of it, our soldiers...fuck, getting drugged left, right and centr- Sorry, um, unauthorized information..." He trails off, realising he's said too much.

You're ears perk up, "Drugs? What are the um, symptoms?" You can't help but be curious.

John looks around, as if to check if anyone was listening to the conversation, though most people are hammered on hardcore liquor and cigarettes. He lowers his voice, "Starts off with headaches, nausea, then there's seizures...worst case scenario is paralysis. Gotten 4 of our soldiers already, poor men, had to be medically dismissed...."

You hum, silently and unsure of what to reply with. If you were attempting to flirt with John, the mood had definitely dissipated.

"But hey, listen. You ever need a change of pace, a better job, you can call me." He grabs your hand, and messily writes his phone number with a biro, winking before he leaves.

Maybe you will call him.

As the sky becomes darker and the clock strikes past 9 P.M., you find yourself walking outside the building, searching for Simon.

"...annoying."

Huh? You peer over the corner to overhear the conversation. Was that Simon?

"..follows me around a sad 'lil shit."

Was he talking about you?

You catch a quick glance, confirming that it was indeed a drunk Simon, with who you believe was Soap.

"Her mum's hotter, too. All over me." Simon boasts, whipping out his phone, presumably to show them a picture of your mother, as it sparks a 'milf alert' comment from Soap.

"...nothing compared to her. She's like a doormat."

You look at Simon, and for a second, you swear he made deliberate eye contact with you.

"She's fuckin' spineless."

For a moment, time pauses.

...

Spineless.

You're spineless.

I mean, it may be true. But the truth doesn't always have to come out, no?

After doing so much for this man, you'e still...spineless?

Laying at the comfort of your bed, dragging a tipsy Simon out of the car and him rushing to his flat, you find yourself gazing down at the smudged ink on your palm. Maybe it's time to switch your job.

Who knows who you'll run into...

That night, you rest, dreaming about John Price.

You're in an abyss in your dreams, John's pale muscular arms wrap around your frame, with the faint scent of cigars and whisky wafting around your nose. You blink and you see the bottom of his groomed beard, and small smile resting on his tired face.

You blink once more. But this time, you don't see John Price. This time, you're staring into the sullen eyes of a skeleton-masked man, lifelessly staring straight at you with no emotion. You look down the body of Simon.

The lower half of his body was missing.

By the third blink, you jolt awake and look around, but this time you're on the floor wrapped in your quilt and covered in sweat. Very much alone.

What was this dream trying to tell you?

The jump from retail to cyber-operations was large and challenging. You went from serving customers to quite literally serving the country, from scanning items to defending the weapon's system. But 2 weeks into your new career and you feel like you've actually put your degree to some use.

Your family have been ringing you almost weekly, asking about your new position, although it's mainly your mother interrogating you about Simon.

And to say he was upset with your choice of working with the army, was an understatement, in his words, he felt like you were crowding him in all areas of his life. His home, his workplace, and now his mind.

You'd ask him to drop you off, considering he's going the same way, but he'd come up with unjustified excuses.

"Can't. Need to be there early."

"Nah, gonna distract me, love."

"Can't be seen with you." He mutters the last one, but you're not deaf and Simon can't exactly whisper very well. Sometimes you wonder why you haven't broken up with him.

So you've resorted to the next option.

Public transport. Calling John Price.

"You're not a burden, sweetheart. Who's been tellin' you that?"

You subordinate <3 But you can't say that, so you resort to casually laughing at his question. You can't help but think about the reoccurring dream you've been having, they always start the same.

You're in a abyss, and you're in the arms of John Price, you blink and suddenly face to face with the half-corpse of Simon. You're struggling to work out the deeper message of the visio-

"Love, you there? Went to lala-land or something?"

Think about John Price. Focus on him, why are you still bound to that jerk? You think.

"I'm good. So uh, how's the situation with you? And the um...drugs thing?" You look at him, your words surprising yourself, since when did you have an interest in drugs?

"Oh, uh. We're not allowed to disclose that sweetheart...besides, Simon didn't tell you? Kinda big thing here..."

Of course, Simon wouldn't tell me, why would he? You tell me, John.

You give him your best puppy dog eyes, eyebrows knitting together, "Oh..."

He runs his thick fingers through his brunette hair, adjusting himself in his seat, "Succinylcholine. There's a mixture, but that's the main component. Causes paralysis to the legs and spine...seems like that's what they wanted, to paralyse our soldiers, 7th victim this we..."

Paralysis huh. You turn to look at the passing trees outside the windows. Paralysis to the spine and legs...

By the time you reach work, you're at your computer by your desk, typing away at the lines of code on your programme, once again eavesdropping to the conversations in your vicinity.

"...it's the same location they keep getting deployed, why are they getting deployed there again?"

"Captain Price is going this time..."

"...2nd guy's in a coma now..."

The chatter dies down to the loud slam of the door: Your supervisor.

"People. Come on. Chop chop, we have deadlines to meet. Stop the chatter, fucks sake."

You get back to your screen, but you can't help but shake the unsettling feeling off your mind.

Ding!

11:26 A.M. Si:- Come outside on your break. Need to talk.

I guess you're finally breaking up.

"Getting deployed."

Simon's scarred hands caress yours, gently lifting your ring finger and slotting a shiny silver ring, with a skull stuck in the center. You think back to the times where you told Simon that you preferred gold jewelry over silver, since it complimented your skin tone better. To love is to be seen I guess.

A crowd of soldiers begin whistling at the scene, and Simon retracts his hands almost instantaneously.

"Wanted to give this to you for anniversary...but I ordered it a little late."

You hum, immediately twisting the ring around your ring. It's tight and cramped.

"How's work?" He asks, his eyes roaming around the people behind you, his gaze not falling on you once since the conversation had started.

"Oh it's goo-"

"Cool. So um, here's my key if you need something." He hands you his key, more like shoving it into your chest, before pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead and running off towards the crowd of soldiers that were now practicing drills.

Seems like you've gotten promoted from girlfriend to house-keeper.

By 8 P.M., you and a handful of your colleagues began to go home.

With your 4th cup of caffeine in your hand, you check Simon's text once more.

7:52 P.M. Si:- What time u finish Si:- 8? Si:- Too long to wait, going home

He couldn't wait 8 minutes?

As you trudge past the empty hallway, you're met face to face with the door of the lab, which you notice was half open.

You felt like a character in Alice in Wonderland. Trespassing is a crime, is it not?

A normal person would just inform a staff member and go home right? Definitely wouldn't enter the room. And definitely wouldn't head straight towards the counter that held various labelled test tubes.

Definitely wouldn't snatch a test tube labelled danger, and most definitely stuff it in their bag and run out the door, as if they haven't basically committed a crime.

But it's a good thing you wouldn't consider yourself a normal person.

The wind blows against your skin when you finally make it outside, and it feels like natures punishing you for breaking into the army's laboratory. With your bag clutched tightly against your chest, your mind begins racing - what if someone saw you? What about cameras? What if-

"There you are love. Thought I'd have to come 'n get you myself."

John leans against his range rover, wrapping his large military jacket around your shoulders, and you instantly lean into his towering frame.

"John...didn't you go home?"

He shakes his head. "Saw Simon speeding off the moment we finished, thought you needed a ride, especially at this time."

The wind blows against you again, and your smile falters, remembering the contents of your bag.

"Can we go home now? Please?"

A comforting silence accompanied the drive, with John's palm ghosting your thigh ever so slightly and you had to resist every urge in your body to just lock hands with him.

So you do.

His large hand encompassing yours completely. If his grin could widen anymore, they just did, and you swear you could see faint dimples decorating his cheeks.

But they fall just as quickly, jerking his hand back.

"Nice ring."

You're visibly confused, eyes dragging back to the tight skull band wrapped around your ring finger.

Fuck you, Simon.

When you exit John's car at the entrance of the block of flats, your eyes catch another deep brown pair of menacing eyes, standing at the balcony, hiding behind a black balaclava. You can't see the lower portion of the face, but you'd bet your life that there was a smirk hidden behind the cloth.

You grit your teeth, tossing the ring by the nearest bush as the car drives off. The grip around your bag tightens, and you remember the test tube.

If you're going to ruin my chances of love, I'll ruin your chances of life, Simon Riley.

A week later and the test tube lay aimlessly on your bedside time, alongside a small post card gifted yesterday from your truly. John Price, that is, not Simon.

Leaving soon - If I find something you like, I'll bring it for you :-D - J Price

Even the way he drew his little smiley faces warmed you.

On the other hand, Simon had shot you a single text, ignoring all the spelling mistakes.

Si:- bee home ina mont. by.

When he gets home, you're immediately breaking up with him, assigning yourself mental homework.

But for the meanwhile, you have to decide what to do with the test tube...for now you decide it's too risky to keep it at home, who knows if the wrong people get their hands on it.

So you opt to shoving into deep into your purse.

At work, as you walk back to your team's common room, you hear the commotion coming from the...laboratory?

"Doctor, how careless are you?"

"Sir...I-I-I didn't do anything! The lab was locked, I don't know who would have taken it-"

"And how are we sure you haven't stolen it? I mean for all we know, you might have the drug at home. How do we know you're a traitor and working for the other side. I should have you reported."

"Boss, you've known me for the longest! And why don't you stop shouting me and get these cameras fixed already-"

"Captain Price's gonna flip and fire his entire team when he comes back-"

"If he comes back that is-"

"Boy if you don't shut your mout-"

Scurrying to the common room, you shut the door abruptly. You don't why you stole the drug, but you do know you can't let anyone find out about what you did.

Not Simon.

Not John.

A month had nearly gone by, and a train of gifts has began coming, from small affirmation notes to bags of lego flower bouquets and teddy bears. All of course, accompanied by a small note with the signature smiley face :-D.

Considering the notes weren't hand written, you couldn't tell whether it was from Simon or John, though it was quite obvious. Even though you liked John, you couldn't help but feel some sort of sorrow towards Simon. I mean, who else does he have apart from you?

On a dark Friday evening while you and your team were getting ready to leave, the sound of shouting followed by stampede coursed through the hallway. Screams of terror broke from whom you made out to be doctors and nurses.

"What's happening?" You turn to your coworker.

"More people have gotten drugged, like 7 this time..."

You couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt washing over you, considering a sample of the weapon of the crime was quite literally concealed with your belongings.

"Oh -"

"Apparently, Captain Price and Liutentant Riley were involved."

That was enough to strike a nerve. You don't know which name hit you harder, but before your colleague could even stop you, you began sprinting down the hallway towards the hospital rooms.

By the time you reach though, it's already too late, and the doors have shut, the nurse informing you that surgeries have already begun undergoing. But for who, they didn't disclose.

It didn't matter who it was, you just had a reoccurring thought that if maybe you had left the sample alone, maybe a curve could have already been developed.

Oh God, this is your fault isn't it....?

A person's going to die in your hands, and you're not even a soldier.

With discomfort running through your nerves, you sit by the hospital rooms, your hands feeling heavy under the weight of your head, waiting to hear more from the nurses. But as they rush in and out of the room with urgency, your voice gradually drowns out by the monotonous beeping of the machines inside.

4 hours go by, and you can't tell if it from the lack of sleep or not, but the staff around you shoot you looks of pity as if you're in critical condition. Those hours in the waiting room felt like hell, and you couldn't help but notice the lack security in the building. No cameras again, huh?

"Nurse, is John Price in there?" You ask wearily, the strain in your voice was evident.

The nurse shakes her head, "It's Lieutenant Riley."

Your breath hitches, and unfortunately you can't help but a slight feeling of relief.

"Is he okay? Was he...drugged?"

The nurse clenches her jaw, "That information can't be disclos-"

"He's my boyfriend." You urge, standing up to meet the nurse eye to eye.

The palpable tension in the air was uncomfortable and pervasive, hanging over the room like a heavy fog, and the nurse eventually breaks, slowly opening the door to what looked like a corpse.

"No traces of the drugs were found in his body, but there's no way to really say in the early stages...He is displaying some symptoms however..." She reads off a clipboard.

You nod, though her words aren't really getting to your head, "Like...paralysis?" There's no movement from the bed, just the constant ringing from the machines.

The nurse pauses, "No. Headaches, and muscle pain, just the regular. Bullet shot in the shoulder, but that's been taken care off. We're still monitoring him. I'll be outside if you need anything." With that she leaves, shutting the door behind you. And you find yourself alone with Simon's corpse.

Simon's face looks like broken china, like fine art but damaged externally, yet still holding the essence of its beauty within. His features, usually composed and serene, now bore the cracks of strain and worry. His under eyes were now darker than ever, and you couldn't help but press your now tear soaked lips across his rough cheek, until you stopped.

His neck, though scarred, bore scattered red marks, which you know could be confused with a rash. But it wasn't.

They were hickies.

Fresh hickies.

It's been a month since you've last seen Simon, so you immediately rule out yourself, disregarding the fact that you haven't even been intimate with anyone in a while.

As you sit beside the bed, a surge of anger rises within you, fueled by the betrayal and disappointment coursing through your veins. You want nothing more than to confront Simon, to unleash a torrent of accusatory questions upon him, but you know it would be futile.

His chest rises and falls gently, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within you.

The situations looks like that particular scene straight from your dreams. Dark room, alone with Simon, him laying there still.

His body is still intact, you think. Intact and littered with marks.

You try to recall what happens in the dreams after this, but you always wake up at the last second.

And you can't help but inch your hand towards your purse., the outline of the test tube screaming at you to finally use it.

Use it for the reason you had originally stolen it for.

Use me.

Drug him. It screams. It's not like he ever loved you? Francesca, remember her? The other women? Your own mother, your own flesh and blood? Think about the times he forgot your anniversary, your birthday, when he insulted you, in front of you, in front of others, hell, even behind your back! You're spineless remember.

I mean you'd be doing the world a favour, getting rid of this from this world, wouldn't you?

Wouldn't you.

John Price would be proud of you wouldn't he?

He finally be with you.

With a steady hand, you reached into your purse and retrieved the test tube, its contents glinting in the dim light of the hospital room. You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding in your chest, before steeling yourself and uncapping the tube.

The acrid scent of the drug filled the air, its toxic fumes making you gag slightly. But you pushed past the discomfort, focusing all your attention on the task at hand. With precision, you extracted the entire liquid from the tube and carefully poured it into Simon's IV drip, mentally wincing at how effortlessly you had manipulated the situation.

You have to get rid of the drug somehow, and if it means using it against him, then so be it.

The next morning had come and you're awaken by the phone buzzing by your bedside table, the screen lighting up with John's name. You hesitate, your fingers hovering over the screen for a moment before you finally answer, steeling yourself for whatever news awaits you on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" Your voice comes out strained, betraying the anxiety churning within you.

"Hey angel, it's me," John's voice crackles through the phone, the urgency in his tone palpable. "You need to come to the hospital. It's Simon."

Without a word, you hang up the phone and hail a cab, the journey to the hospital passing in a blur of anxious thoughts and racing heartbeat. Did they find out you stole the drugs? No...how could they? The empty test tube is in your bin, at home, not at the hospital and there's no cameras at you recall...

Arriving at the hospital, you're met with a scene of controlled chaos. Doctors and nurses bustle about, their faces tense with worry. You navigate through the maze of corridors, the familiar scent of antiseptic hanging heavy in the air.

Finally, you reach Simon's bedside, and what you see makes your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. Simon manually lies propped up against the pillows, his face pale and drawn, his body racked with violent tremors as he retches into a basin. The sight is enough to make you physically ill, although it slowly dissipates, seeing the now purple marks on his necks darkening.

John appears beside you, and without a word, he takes your hand in his, his grip steady and reassuring, pressing a small kiss at the side of your head. In that fleeting moment, the world falls away, leaving only the two of you suspended in time.

"I'll be outside," he mumbles, leaving with you with Simon.

With a heavy heart, you take a seat beside him. Simon looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion. It takes all your strength to meet his gaze, the truth burning like acid on your tongue.

"Hey." He groans out. He can barely move, as his head painfully cranes to look at you, the effects of the drugs taking effect slowly.

"What happened." But it's more of a demand than a question.

Simon sniffs, "Traces of drugs..."

"No. I meant your neck."

He pauses, like he was trying to carefully choose his words, though he didn't have much of a escape now.

"Don't act like I see you and Price-"

"Don't bring him into this, Simon."

Don't lie to me anymore.

A tear rolls down his cheek, but you can't tell if it's crocodile tears or not.

"They-they... dismissed me."

You hum, a smirk gradually building up on your face.

"Why?"

Simon closes his eyes, "Back. My spine. Can't move it..."

You let out a slow, deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you like a heavy stone.

"I know." Your voice is barely above a whisper, but the words hang heavy in the air between you. "I drugged you."

Simon's eyes wince once again, studying your face silently.

"Excuse me?" He begins.

You stand up, placing your purse back on your shoulder.

"What- what do you mean? You he-heard me? Love. Listen to me-"

You walk towards the door.

"WAIT. Wait. What do you mean you knew? You said you knew. What. What did you do. Sweetheart. Come back. Let's talk. You love me don't you? I love you! Where's that ring I gave you?"

You laugh, twisting the door handle.

"Baby, you better not fuckin' leav- THEY'LL FIND OUT-"

"And who's going to believe a damaged, deluded man, Simon Riley? You were out on a mission, I'll pin the blame on the enemies."

Simon shakes in his bed, unable to control any part of his body now. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME- HOW FUCKIN' DARE YOU- After that life I gave you-"

"Life? You call that living?"

"I LOVED YOU WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID-" His voice is painfully loud now, you're wondering how no one's running to his room already.

"Love? You don't know one thing about love, you fucker."

"I should have never fucked you, you- YOU BITCH-" He shouts, his body flailing violently, globes of tears racing down his clenched jaw and red cheeks.

"Rot in hell Simon Riley, I guess we're both fucking spineless now."

And that's a wrap for this mini seriesss - thank all of you for sticking around ;D IM AWARE IT TOOK SO LONG- I KEPT WRITING IT AND FOR SOME REASON IT DIDN'T AUTOSAVE LIKE TWICE??? SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT- Quick Notes: Let's all be real. We wanted reader to get with ol' john boy. But let's also be for real, if Reader was an object, she'd be a doormat. Although I've implied John Price x You, the bitch really needs to focus on herself and sort her shit out right now 💀 in the near future they're together for sure. ALSO the reference of drugs is highly inaccurate but let's all switch our imaginations on <3 lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum, @kxtz3, @poohkie90, @rainlovesyou12 , @restrictionsapply-blog , @lunamoonbby , @nigthmar3moon , @thychuvaluswife , @itsnourm , @bubusi11, @owkittie, @cheomain , @corvusmorte , @k4es , @mandythemint , @copiasratscheese , @yyiikes , @funkyyysho3s

#call of duty #cod #ghost angst #ghost #simon riley #john price #ghost cod #ghost x reader #captain john price #call of duty modern warfare #john price x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon angst #simon ghost riley

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naivegh0ul · 1 year ago

Text

For Evangelionarc! (plus a bit of fanart that inspired me to finish this)

(warnings: smut, masc reader, non-consensual voyeurism, handjobs, dub-con)

(word count: 1,660)

If Ghost found out you were doing this, he'd probably kill you. He'd definitely kill you. Strangle you with his bare hands. Those massive, sexy hands with his calloused palms-

You're pulled out of your daydream by the sound of Ghost groaning. Right, you remember where you are. You're in Ghost's closet, phone in hand as you record the delicious moans coming from Ghost as he touches himself.

You can hear the slick sound of his hand moving up and down and you watch as he flicks the tip of his cock, his body jolting and eyes widening beneath his mask as he moans loudly.

What you wouldn't give to wrap your mouth around him. You've seen his dick before, in passing glances in the shower room, or that one time in Berlin where Ghost's fatigues caught on fire and he had to discard everything from the waist down.

It would've been funny, if not for the fact that you couldn't stop staring at Ghost's dick. That man is hung, fat and long, heavy balls, a gorgeous happy trail leading down to thick pubic hair.

You can see those things through the slats of Ghost's closet door, you can see the way Ghost's head falls back against his pillow as his hips fuck up into his hand, his fingers sticky and covered in precum.

"Fuck. Yes, just like that." Ghost groans, clearly in the middle of a fantasy. You wonder who's he thinking about when your phone suddenly slips out of your hand, clattering to the floor.

Ghost shoots up in bed, grabbing his knife off the nightstand with his wet hand and storming over to his closet. The door swings open and Ghost yanks you out by the collar, pressing his knife to your throat.

You half expect him to just slit your throat right then and there. Leave you to bleed out in the middle of his room. But he doesn't. He pulls the knife away from your throat, still gripping your collar tightly, and he slams you against the wall.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ghost growls. You swallow nervously at the sharp weapon near your throat, along with the fact that Ghost's hand, covered in lube and his precum, is so close to your face. You feel something touch your leg and when you glance down quickly, you see that Ghost's cock is still out of his trousers. And he's still hard.

You splutter out a weak apology but Ghost silences you by moving his hand from the collar of your shirt to your neck, squeezing roughly as he pulls you back and bashes you against the wall again.

"Fuckin' freak. You like this, don't you?" Ghost pulls you back from the wall and stands in front of you menacingly, his arms crossed over his chest as he glares at you.

"Strip. Now." Ghost commands as he gives his cock a few rough tugs, watching you undress for him. He smirks once you're naked, your body on show for him to see.

Ghost shoves you in the direction of his bed, stalking over to you as you stumble backwards and fall onto Ghost's mattress. You watch his cock twitch at the sight of you sprawled out on his bed, eyes wide with fear (and arousal), your cock leaking precum where it rests on your thigh.

"Slag." Ghost spits. Instead of walking towards you like you thought he would, he walks over to his closet and grabs your phone that you dropped. He types in your password (which you have no clue how he knows) and scoffs out a laugh at what he sees.

"This is what gets you off, eh? Filmin' people without their knowledge." Ghost walks back over to you rather leisurely, scrolling through your camera roll and finding hundreds of pictures of himself in various positions.

Sleeping, eating, working out, showering. The sleeping photos disturb him the most and he tosses your phone at you, not caring if it hits you or cracks. He climbs into the bed, crawling on top of you as his heavy cock brushes yours, making you shiver. He sits himself on your lap, his thick thighs encompassing yours and the weight of his body holding you down.

Ghost stares down at you, his arms crossed over his chest. He seems angry, but it's hard to tell with his mask on. Suddenly, your head is whipping to the side as Ghost delivers a harsh slap to your cheek.

You groan, reaching a hand up to rub the red mark on your cheek. Ghost grabs your hand before you can do anything, lifting it above your head along with your other hand as he holds them down. Ghost's hand not pinning your arms down slaps your face again, another groan escaping you as your cock twitches against Ghost's.

Ghost raises his hand again and you shut your eyes in anticipation, expecting to be hit again but no hit ever comes. You open your eyes, peering up at Ghost to see him staring right back at you, his hand over his cock. He grasps your cock and his in his fist, giving them a firm stroke.

Your back arches as you moan, the feeling of Ghost's calloused palm squeezing your aching cock against his has you squirming in Ghost's hold, thighs twitching as Ghost strokes the two of you roughly.

Ghost seems unaffected, his eyes staring down at you lazily. It only fuels your arousal more, the sight of Ghost looking so bored, as if this is a chore for him and he wasn't the one who wrapped his big hand around the both of you.

His strokes speed up, similar to how he was stroking himself when you were watching from the closet. Clearly, Ghost likes it fast and rough as he squishes your cock against his and jerks his hand up and down quickly, making you cry out and arch your back once more.

You attempt to get Ghost to slow down, struggling in his hold and bucking your hips, trying to squirm away but you only end up fucking into Ghost's fist, rubbing your tip along Ghost's shaft.

"Ple-please," You breathe, thighs twitching as you moan and look up at Ghost with pleading eyes, his emotionless ones gazing right back at you. "Slow- mmm, slow down, I- I can't... too fast." Your words come out jumbled, sentences unfinished.

"Shut up." Ghost hisses, speeding up his strokes even more just to be cruel. Tears form in your eyes, the intense sensations proving to be too much for your sensitive cock. You try to plead with Ghost again, begging him to slow down.

Your begging annoys Ghost, you can tell by the way his left eye twitches beneath his mask and his fist tightens around you two. You cry out, Ghost's grasp on your poor cock is bordering on painful. "Please, please, I'm s-sorry! I, ah, I won't do it a-again."

A huff can be heard from Ghost at your words, he obviously doesn't believe you. "Lyin' little shit." He growls, leaning down to shut you up forcefully. His lips press against yours through the fabric, the cotton of his mask sticking to your wet lips.

The kiss is rough and intense, and Ghost's tongue tries to slip into your mouth, forgetting about the barrier blocking your mouth from his. Ghost quickly tugs his mask up to his nose, revealing a strong jaw and plush, slightly chapped lips.

You don't get a lot of time to admire that part of his face before his lips are on you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. His tongue licks inside, tasting you as he grinds his hips forward, his tip bumping yours and leaking precum over it.

Ghost moans into your mouth and lets go of your hands to cup your jaw intimately, his thumb rubbing over your jawline as he fucks into his fist and kisses you with fervour.

"Close." Ghost murmurs. He leans impossibly closer to you, trapping your cock against his between the two of you. You whimper into Ghost's mouth and wrap your arms around his neck, tugging on the little tuft of hair peeking out from under Ghost's mask.

Ghost groans at your actions and tightens his fist again, making you whine. "You better cum with me or you're not fuckin' cumming at all." Ghost tells you as he pulls away from the kiss, chuckling as you lean up and try to chase his lips.

"Down, boy." He says mockingly. His lips move to your neck, sucking hickies along the underside of your jaw. All of a sudden, Ghost's teeth are sinking into your neck, marking you with a growl as his cock twitches and spurts his cum over your cock and your stomach.

When Ghost comes down from his high, his eyes looking at yours he sees the need and desperation in them. He glances down, confirming his suspicions. You didn't cum when he did.

"Please, I just need a little bit more, I promise." You say quickly, hands reaching in between you and him to get a hand around yourself. "No. You heard me. You didn't cum, tough shit. Out." Ghost nods towards the door as he sits up, wiping his cum stained hand on a tissue.

You try to plead more, begging Ghost as he moves off his bed and cleans his cock with a towel. "Please, Ghost, just let me touch myself. I'll be quick, I swear."

Ghost shakes his head, grabbing your clothes off the floor from when you took them off earlier and tosses them at you. "Get changed and get out... We'll try again tomorrow." Ghost says softly, seeing your eyes light up at the possibility of doing what you just did again.

"Yes sir." You nod, your tone shows just how excited you are, as if your still-hard cock hanging between your legs doesn't do that.

#masc reader #ghost cod #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x male reader #simon riley x male reader #ghost smut

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malereadermaniac · 9 months ago

Text

Pokéboys and their dicks + extra - male reader intended

Characters: Blue, Red, Morty, Brawly, Norman, Adaman, Volkner, Marlon, Kukui, Raihan + bonus charas (- All characters aged up!) Top!Characters x Bottom!Reader word count: 2.1k Kink warnings:pubic hair, marking and hickeys, scent kinks (INCLUDING MUSK AND SWEAT!!), armpits, feet, body worship, public, size diff Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI

Blue

Blue's quite slim, so his dick is loooong

Solid 8 inches, but not very thick

Uncut, with a few veins

He loves when you play with his foreskin using your tongue

He's got a bit of a bush, not too wild but enough to stuff your nose when Blue pushes you down on his whole dick

Blue's balls aren't massive, but they sag just the right amount

His dick matches his attitude, he acts big so his dick is big

His attitude can switch up in the bedroom though

Blue can go from a cocky bastard to whimpering into your ear, acting like he needs your body, your kisses to live

But when his attitude is carried into the bedroom, you two go on for a while, Blue won't stop until your ass is imprinted with the shape if his cock

He also loves to kiss you all over, and Blue fucking loves it when you kiss and lick him everywhere

Especially his muscles

His ego gets a massive boost when you call him strong or manly while kissing his strong arms or abs

Red

Red's quite average

Around 5-6 inches, but he's very girthy

Fucking hell he fills you up so good

Red likes to keep his hair down there tidy, so he only has a very thin bush if you can even call it that

His balls as tight but big, makes sense because Red cums a LOT

Red covers you in cum every time the two of you fuck, you love it tho, especially after blowing him

And Red fucking loves to watch you choke and play with his copious amounts of cum on your face and in your mouth

You'd look gross to anyone else but to Red you couldn't look any hotter

He's quiet during sex for sure, like always

But it just let's you hear his primal noises that me makes while he fucks you hard

You can just hear heavy breathing and grunts into your ear while Red listens to your sexy moans

It's a win-win situation

Morty

Morty is massive

His dick suits his build as well, having a sleeper build you wouldn't expect his dick to be huge

He must of used some ghost voodoo to get that fucking huge

He's easily 10 inches, but he isn't crazy thick, so your not getting slowly killed with each of morty's thrusts but you are getting fucked within an inch if death for sure

His dick isn't very veiny, just one or two, but his tip is suuuper sensitive

Morty loves it when you focus on his dickhead, and he precums so much it's almost funny

His balls sag a lot, so he likes it when you cup them and play with them when you blow him

He's also wild with his public hair, it tufts out of his saggy bottoms all of the time

And it smells so musky whenever you blow him

Morty also fucking LOVES marking you and giving you hickeys when you fuck

In the most obvious places but also in private places that feel good for you in the moment

He likes to see how deep he can make the shade of purple before you whine in pain and pleasure

Bite marks all over your shoulders and thighs

And in turn you scratch his back until you almost draw blood, which turns Morty on soooo much

Brawly

He's quite average, just under 6 inches and a normal thickness

But Brawly doesn't care if he doesn't have the biggest dick ever, he REALLY makes it work

Since he's always working out in some way, Brawly's balls are always super saggy, and he's always sweaty in the best way

He has a big thing for smells and you smelling him

His public hair is out of control, as well as his armpits, he loves to push your head against his hairy regions and have you bath in his musk

He smells so manly it turns the both of you on

Brawly also has a thing for his feet, he likes to have then out as much as he can

He always suggests you lick and worship them, and on special occasions you do and he cums so quick

All of his body smells manly in such a good way, from top to bottom

Norman

His dick is above average, solid 7 inches

He's quite thick too, makes sense for his muscular build

His balls are slightly saggy and hairy

His whole body is covered in thin black hair, very manly

His pubes are quite well trimmed, kept in a nice shape and thin

Norman loves to hear you gag on his dick, and he likes to his pubes stick to the side of your mouth while he fucks your face

Rimming is a huge thing for Norman too

He likes to get up in your whole and make it his

His tongue is so thick as well, and so wet and warm

Norman basically fucks you with his tongue and enjoys the sounds you make while he tastes you

He also fucking lives blowing you, your dick smaller than his in comparison, he likes to smell your dick and engulf it in his mouth

Norman listens to your whines and out if control moans while he slobbers all over your dick

Somehow managing to take your whole dick AND your ball in his mouth

It feels so incredible, especially when he rims you, then moves to blowing you while fingering your now loose and wet hole

Norman also fucks like a mad man, like a dog in heat

His dick pounding your prostate, forcing your tongue out of your mouth while you slobber on his pillows

Adaman

This man is big

Not massive

But very much enough to go above and beyond

He's of course uncut (doubt they did circumcisions back then)

His foreskin isn't tight at all but it's soo long

Also, he obviously doesn't shave, so he's a monster all over

Adaman's body hair is wild, his armpits are bushy, his arms and legs are naturally littered with thin blue hairs and his pubes are a fucking forest

His balls are always saggy and hang loose under his garments since Adaman is almost always commando

His dick is also quite thick, enough to make you scream his name

Which Adaman loves

He's got quite the thing for public sex

There weren't any laws against that, so he's used to having a small audience from time to time

And he loves to have others hear how he makes you sound

His dick also REEKS of his musk, and it intoxicates you every time you blow him

He loves to watch as you smell him like he's some drug, his dick always boiling hot and moist with his sweat and smell

It fucks you up so good

Volkner

His dick is just over 5 inches

His balls are tight, and no matter how much he tries to maintain his pubes they always get out of hand

Volkner is cut and his dick is veinless, but that doesn't mean he isn't sensitive as HELL

You're the light of his life, since he's almost depresses, you make his life better

In a normal and in a sexual way

Volkner can only get it up for you, which turns you on so much

And don't let the fact that his dick is below average, or that he's sensitive fool you

This man is a Dom all the way!

He praises you when you blow him and orders you to strip at any given moment

His hands are rough and you have plenty of marks from his spankings

His muscular build really helps as well

He let's you grab onto his built arms to ground yourself while you cum

And he likes to watch you lick your cum off of his abs afterwards

Everything this man does sexually had a dom undertone

Marlon

Pretty average dick, solid 6 inches

7 on a good day

Marlon's curtains very much do match the drapes, his pubes are also shaped similarly to his hair

His dick isn't tanned, so it's quite funny to see how his tan cuts off and his dick is shinning white and pinkish

But fuck is his tan soo hot, his tan lines so erotic

Marlon's balls are always tight too, being in water constantly really not helping him there

His dick is smooth with few veins, and Marlon is sensitive all over

Not just on his dick but his whole body

This man whines and whimpered when you kiss him all over

It's so hot, especially when your riding him and Marlon is whimpering in your ear

Your name all he can say

Kukui

Fucking hell this man is massive

Kukui is a solid 10 inches and fucking thick too

His dick is dark and veiny, both your hands can't fully cover it

It suits his huge body too, his muscles absolutely out of this world

Which really sets Kukui up nicely for his thing for body worship

He adores it when you worship his Greek god of a body

He flexes all his muscles, arms behind his head while you lick, kiss, smell and praise your boyfriend's body

He call you names from time to time which turns you on more while worshiping his body

He likes to sit you on his lap, his huge thighs holding you up while his rough, big hands roam your body

And holy fuck Kukui loves to fuck you in positions in which he can he his dick force your belly to bulge

His massive cock making a slight bump in your stomach while he ravages you

The view turning him on more and boosting his ego

Kukui pushes on the bump, making you writhe in pleasure and moan loudly

The sight is one that he'll remember forever, Kukui lives his massive cock and so do you

Raihan

He's just above average, a good 7 inches

Uncut and veiny with loooooose foreskin

Raihan fucking loves it when you lick his veins and under his foreskin

He's a cocky cunt with a huge ego, and that translates very well for sex with this guy

Raihans super into worship and praise

He loves to fuck after matches he's won, in the locker rooms, making you lick him clean and smell his "manly, winning scent"

He pushes you onto the ground and steps on your face and dick with his bare, dirty, sweaty feet and laughs as you whine and moan and lick

Raihan also fucking loves to make out

His tongue toys with yours and forces whines out of your mouth that make his dick twitch

His balls as always saggy, he likes to make you lick them and smell them, placing them in your face and telling you to worship his manly musk

His pubes are never cut, he loves to watch you struggle to breath with them stuffing your nose and likes to see them stuck to the side of your mouth as you swallow his cum

Raihan fucks you so rough and hard, making you worship his body while he fucks you

But he isn't horrible, he praises you a lot and worships your body as well

Running his hands over your body and calling you beautiful while he re-arranges your guts

He calls you pretty, lifts your arms and smells you all over, he likes to make you his

Your smell is his, your body, your voice

He fucks you like a rag-doll that only belongs to him

Short Bonuses:

Gladion (aged up!!!!!!!!)

Below average, poor guy is barely 5 inches

But he makes up for it by being good with his hands and tongue

Quite a lot of public hair, slightly darker than his blonde hair

Leon

He's just a bit bigger than raihan (so fucking massive)

He's thick and veiny, and loves to bottom out inside you, watching you squirm and writhe in pain that slowly turns to pleasure

Guiding you through it with sweet words and praise

Milo

Only around 6 inches, but fucking hell is this man thick

He apologises so much, but he needs to be inside you

He watches tears fall from your eyes from the pain and says sorry over and over but his hips keep pounding into you

His dad body crushes you while he fucks you senseless

Jacques

Very average, 6 inches

He's uncut with a loose foreskin and saggy balls

His pubes are out of control and he rarely showers

So he smells so fucking musky and manly

His dick tastes so good you can never get enough

And he's so shy about it, he apologises and blushes like a little sub when you blow his dick and swallow his cum

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lord-armitage · 11 months ago

Text

ASOIAF Characters Ranked of How Likely They Are to Survive A Horror Movie

Robb Stark - 4/10

The likeable, grounded voice of reason comes up with the best strategies but delays things by ignoring Grey Wind's instincts. Will die either as a heroic sacrifice during the climax or at the end of the second act to ramp up the stakes.

Cat Stark - 0/10

Dead before the story began. She's the reason why the Starks decided to have a fresh start in a new town living in that creepy old mansion. Maybe her possessed ghost will enter the story, but she's already gone.

Ned Stark - 1/10

"No, children, this house is definitely not haunted. What you are hearing at the end is just the floorboards settling. There's no such thing are ghosts or monsters. Maybe we should take your direwolves to the vets as they keep barking at nothing during the night?"

Sansa Stark - 5/10

Could go either way with Sansa. She'll either be the girl who dies first if the scriptwriter is a misogynist, or the final girl if not. Either way, she's getting absolutely drenched in blood.

Ayra Stark - 10/10

Of course Ayra surives. There isn't even a question that Ayra Stark won't survive a horror movie.

Daenerys Targaryen - 10/10

Dany is literally the final girl in her own story, so she's the final girl here now. There has literally never been a character created with more final girl energy than Dany.

Tyrion Lannister - 2/10

Gets way too confident in his intellectual ability to defeat the monster. Will have a moment where he thinks he's defeated it by chanting something out of an old book, but doesn't spot check to make sure it's really gone and ends up getting killed.

Jon Snow - 9/10

The quiet one who knew exactly what was happening right from the start because he trusts Ghost's instincts. While everyone else is arguing about the monster being real, he's getting weapons. Fully aware of what genre he's in.

Theon Greyjoy - 0/10

Theon was born to be the drunk frat bro who dies first in a horror movie by doing something insanely stupid, like opening the door for the zombies or thinking that he can fight the monster himself. He would also be a character to purposefully hide his infection/bite/whatever, thus dicking over the other characters.

Asha Greyjoy - 8/10

She knows that she's in a horror film and takes it all in her stride. Most likely character to quip. If she doesn't survive, then she'll be killed in the big climatic action scene at the end, weakening the monster enough so that the last person standing now has a chance to defeat them.

Stannis Baratheon - 0/10

Authority figure who angrily refuses to acknowledge the strange goings on in this town and refuses to do anything about it as "ghosts aren't real." Is one of the first ones to die.

Loras Tyrell - 10/10*

*Loras survives by sheer technicality. Ten years ago he would have been killed for sure but now the writers are worried about being cancelled for using the bury your gays trope, so instead of killing him they write him out of the story so it doesn't technically count.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #Robb Stark #Sansa Stark #Ayra Stark #Daenerys Targaryen #Tyrion Lannister #Theon Greyjoy #Asha Greyjoy #Stannis Baratheon #Loras Tyrell

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jessilynallendilla · 6 days ago

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DPXDC SHIPS FIC REC

TITLE/LINK RATING COMPLETED-WORD-COUNT SERIES

DP FIC REC HOME POST

let me know if the links aren't working and feel free to suggest any

JASONxJAZZ

Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante T

Meet Jasmine Fenton: Smart, resourceful, kind and the very proud sister of Amity Park's own undead superhero Danny Phantom. Therapist at your service. Intern at Arkham Asylum. Can kick your ass. Likes tea and long walks at the beach. Meet Jason Todd: Smart, resourceful, not-that-kind (if you say he's soft you may get knifed) and the very proud vigilante and protector of Crime Alley. Died for a while but got better. Holds grudges. Likes reading a nice book and the sound of the rain against the window. They are neighbors now.

Batman, Meet Team Phantom NR 118,359 SERIES

Jason leaves Amity Park for Gotham, but an emergency call changes everything. The Fentons have discovered Danny's secret, and things are going horribly wrong. While Jazz, Sam, and Tucker save Danny from Jack and Maddie, the group is now on the run. Jason and his family pull all of their resources together to make things right.

Present, Future, Past T

After a fight gone sideways, Bruce finds himself in the future, one that's a lot brighter than Bruce could have ever hoped for. And yet, there are still some shadows Bruce must overcome. But perhaps the insight of the future can help Bruce do just that.

Can't Help Falling In Love (With You) T SERIES

When a ghost does shenanigans, Jazz usually stays out of the trouble, since trouble is her brother's thing. This time? This time trouble found her in the form of a ghost that marries her to the Red Hood against her will.

When The Side Quest Gets Real T SERIES

Jason gets confused for one Jack Fenton by one exasperated teacher, who immediately tells him off for not answering the school's calls-Right in front of Tim and Dick.

Shovel Talk? T 3,464

Things were finally running smoothly for The Batfamily, then Jason decided to throw a wrench into it. That wrench was named Jasmine Fenton. Now the whole family have to prepare for a shovel talk.

Deal T 3,884 ESRIES

One day, a woman hires Jason to kill an unusual amount of people. The more he looks at the case, the more he is convinced he has to accept.

There's Something Wrong With The Nightingale Siblings G SERIES

A reveal gone wrong, a drive to Gotham and a sister made of shadows. Danny didn't know this is what he was signing up for when taking the crown, but naming his sister queen regent was better than the alternative. He'll just have to see what kind of trouble Danny and Jasmine Nightingale can get up to in Gotham.

Gotham's Favourite T 1,315

Jason has heard the rumours going around Crime Alley, about the Saint of the Dead. He didn’t believe them, at first, of course. How could he? When they spoke of an ethereal being that appeared amongst the living and brought them in contact with their dearest departed? Brought them closure?

Drunk Summonings T 1,577 SERIES

Jason is dared to summon the ghost king. Only instead of getting the ghost king, he gets the queen regent.

Core Skills T SERIES

Jason doesn't want to disappoint his family (or worst, be called out by his brothers). Jazz tries to get custody of Danny. I wonder where it all could go.

Why Not? T 5,263

Jazz goes to Gotham Public Library to get out of the house. Jason has a rare day off.

I'm Picking You Up T 2,939

Jason Todd has been secretly dating an amazing woman named Jazz Fenton, but hasn't told her about his vigilante/crime lord life. When he's captured by the Riddler on a day when the rest of his family is unavailable, he discovers that his girlfriend is more than meets the eye. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions...

The Wonderous Beauty Of The Statuesque Scarlet T 9,773

Jazz knew she was tall. It wasn't like it affected her life or anything (sarcasm). It wasn't like she didn't end dates early because the dude asked her if it was really necessary for her to wear heels. Yes, she was tall. And strong. On top of that, she had duties as Ghost Princess, so finding a partner was not easy for her.

The Night Will Come But Not To Stay T

Jazz is excited about going to Gotham University for college. It's halfway across the country from Amity Park and anyone who knows about her weird family or ghost nonsense. Finally, she can pretend to be a normal woman who just wants to go into psychiatry. She meets a cute guy named Jason, and they seem to be getting along great. Jason finally decided to put aside his vigilante work long enough to get a degree. He's learning how to be a normal person again, with a family that cares for him. He's even made a few civilian friends, including a cute girl named Jazz. Surely, nothing could come up that would reveal their other lives to each other.

Cujo And The Ghastly Gotham Grabber G 9,520

When Joker grabbed Damian, Cujo said “not on my watch mister!” and proceeded to tear the clown to shreds. Then Cujo takes his new friend to Danny to make sure he’s okay. He is delighted when he makes even more friends when Damian’s brothers come looking for him.

Talks At The Fenton Bar And Brunch And Mount Justice G 8,299 SERIES

The Fentons talk, meanwhile a six (and a half!) year old halfa does what every nosy child does and listens in only stopping when the ghost of time drops in for fudge. Meanwhile, Tim is wondering what the exact relationship the Fentons have with the Infinte Realms is that the Young Justice's newest member wants to look into Jason's background.

You Look Like You’ve Seen A Ghost T 37,602 SERIES

Jason and Danny became friends in the Ghost Zone. This is about to be everyone’s problem. Batman just wants to know who this illusive teenager is. Because he’s a meta. Obviously. Not for adoption reasons. No siree, not him.

Somehow Whatever's Eternal In Me Knows Whatever's Eternal In You M

Everyone knows the story of Jason Todd’s resurrection. He dies, he gets resurrected half a year later, he crawls out, goes to the hospital for another half year, and then gets taken by Talia to the League before he finally comes back to Gotham 3 years later. But what if that didn’t happen? When an additional force comes to Gotham with the intentions to take over, she finds Jason Todd lying on the ground and then decides to take him with her. Everything in Gotham changes.

Wrong Exit T SERIES

Danny comes into the story too early and makes it everyone else's problem.

Is Batman A Ghost? T

The Fentons learn about the Bats in Gotham. Thanks to the portal to the Ghost zone breaking and the ambient ectoplasm in Gotham, Fentonworks sets up shop in crime city. Shenanigans ensue

Turning Shadows Into Shapes T

When the GIW gets too close to finding out who phantom is, Jazz takes custody of her adopted brother and moves out to Gotham. Danny is enrolled in West Reeve and Jazz goes to Gotham U, and finds a job at Arkham. Everything was going fine, for the first couple hours. The more Jazz and Danny try to avoid the Bats, the more they seem to meet, and Danny and Jazz figure that this can only lead to conflict.

Won't You Be My Neighbor? M

Jazz is excited to start a new job in a city that has never heard of the Fenton’s. So what if they have raving psychopaths and people dressing up in tights to fight them, at least she doesn’t have to deal with ghosts. But, why did her new neighbor trigger her brother’s ghost sense? And why does she feel like she’s falling for the mysterious vigilante that crashed through her window one night?

Blood On The Crown M SERIES

She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his brow, a covenant between them, a secret promise that she would tear the world asunder if it meant keeping him safe.

Premeditation T 17,192 SERIES

The problem is that so few people are even able to see what the problem really is. The problem is that things that manage to find the balance on the knife’s edge of life are so, so hard to kill. The problem, Jasmine Fenton realizes, two weeks after she moves into Gotham, is one that almost no one, in any dimension or realm, is able to solve. The problem is simply put, though, even if it’s almost impossible. The problem is this: The Joker is a Halfa.

Custody Battle G 1,274 SERIES

"Touch starved Danny gets cuddles from tallmom!Jazz and tankdad!Jason after a long and hard custody battle against the neglectful Fenton parents. "

If You Find A Vigilante In The Dumpster M SERIES

The plan was simple, Jazz and her now de aged brother would go lay low in Gotham, act as a mother-son duo. Wait as Danny heals up by absorbing the ambient ectoplasm leaking from the city and Vlad gives the green light that he has a safe place they could stay. Plus with the blessing from the Ghost of Gotham and knowing that even the GIW wouldn't dare to encroach on Batman's territory, it was a pretty safe plan. That was until a certain vigilante just keeps on finding himself in their dumpster.

Crying Is Okay T SERIES

I will change the summary when I get a better idea I am winging this, but so far it's about what happens if Danny goes to University in Gotham and gets a job at Arkham.

Rifts T

As a general rule, just when you thought it couldn't get worse it suddenly did. This is something the Fenton siblings knew from experience. The thing is, normally her brother is the one who puts them on the spot. This isn’t one of those times, and Jazz just knows that she will never get Danny to shut up about it. ...If they ever get to see each other again, of course.

There Will Come A Soldier T 9,644

Jason jumps to defend a woman getting mugged but she uh...doesn't need the help. She appreciates the heart-eyes he shoots her, though.

The Business Of Family T

Things are not well in Amity Park. With the GIW getting more and more aggressive and their parents becoming ever more suspicious of Danny each day that passes, Jazz knows that they're running out of time. It's not safe, and their options are painfully limited. Out of sheer dumb luck or a little intervention from Clockwork, she manages to discover a distant relative that just might be their salvation. If asked Oswald Cobblepot would say that it's just good business. Adopting a few kids had done wonders for Bruce Wayne's reputation, why not his? It's not like he can't afford to put them somewhere out of the way if they get to be a problem. It's just business. Nothing more.

Advent Reunion G 4,765 SERIES

Danny was gone. The GIW had wrecked his core and Jazz was left grieving with her family and friends, all devastated. They hunted the monsters that destroyed her brother, hunted them all the way to the Himalayas and destroyed the Guys in White but Jazz felt like it was a hollowed out victory. Grieving and anguished she stole Vlad's booze and wander off, runs into a guy hiding a body and deciding to spend a weekend running amok with "Jason" (a nice jerk that left without even saying goodbye and who she really should not have developed feelings for). Then she discovered she was pregnant, and Clockwork told her he had placed Danny's ruined core in her so he could be reborn. Skip nearly seven years later and Jazz is the mother of a rambunctious six (and a half!) year old boy who is the reincarnate of her brother and she just moved to Gotham with her family to go to school. Jason meanwhile runs into a kid that tries to steal his wheel and pay for it with coco, a duck candle and a literal piggy bank... and then reunites with a blast from his past... and she has a tinier version of him attached to her hip.

DANNYxTIM

The Blob T

Tim sees a floating green blob and believes it is a delusion, but it is actually a ghost, one of the victims of the murderer he caught. The blob ghost latched on to him and refuses to leave. As Tim finally admits to himself that it's real, more blob ghosts attach themselves to Tim, hoping he will catch their murderer too. Finally, his family notices that something is amiss with him and attempts to figure out what is wrong. Meanwhile, Danny in the Ghost Zone hears that there is a human, in the living realm, that the blob ghost can't stop praising.

Social Media + Insomnia = Epic Fails (Not Clickbait!) T 8,216 SERIES

Yes I Sleep @TimDrake_Wayne Fellas… is it gay if he’s dead? Otherwise known as: Tim makes an Oopsie

Hold The Stars Close (Like You Were Holding My Hand) NR

Daniel Fenton had to run, Amity wasn't safe for him anymore, he couldn't stay, so he left. By no means did it mean that he understood how he ended up in a crime filled city with a baby to care for, and another teen vigilante for a co-parent. Maybe it would get better.

You Can't Teach An Old God New Tricks M

Danny didn’t have a lot to his name. He arrived in Gotham 2 years ago lost and confused. He knew he was a king. He knew he was a halfa, and he knew that he ruled all of the infinite realms. But the harsh realities of Gotham also kept him on his toes as he tries to ignore his past. Nothing from before the age of 14 but electricity down his spine, A sister whom he loved, and an apparent complaint of his newfound lack of Empathy because of it. Danny had avoided the infamous Bats for too long but as the ghosts start to delve into the world once more moaning for the Phantom, and a family edging on being a gang. He finds himself far too close to the vigillante’s and Batman than he really wants to find himself. And as his world collapses in on itself, maybe he needs someone to catch him for once. Someone he never expected.

Tim Drake's I.E.F (Invisible Eldritch Friend) T SERIES

The last thing Danny expected while haunting his new favorite pastime while bored (read: homeless) was to find out his secret identity. It was cool though, and he helped the dude get through the days easier now. He expected even less, though, to be caught rooting around in his fridge by their butler. The last thing Tim expected while getting stalked was to get used to the unseen creature and how they started taking care of him. He expected even less for them to be the same age

Till Death And Beyond T 85,655

Danny and Tim have known each other for a year, have been dating for months, and are very happy. Sure, Tim would prefer if his boyfriend let him help him at least get a nicer apartment, or even an internship at WE but Danny won't let him. Dating Tim is not keeping his head down but as far as everyone knows, Danny Fenton died with his parents and sister. Danny Nightingale has no links to him, thanks to Tucker and Technus' magic. But there are still those who would love nothing more than to get their hands on Phantom, despite his not having been seen in a long time. And why is there a vigilante bleeding out on his apartment floor?

Bones Exposed T 44,774 SERIES

After years of being a halfa, Danny's body starts to gain more symptoms from his death, resulting in his human half slowly dying. In a desperate attempt to live the rest of his life in peace, he becomes a hermit, living isolated in Gotham and only leaving his home when his services are needed at Wayne Enterprises. His life isn't what he expected, but it's his and he's accepted it. That is until Tim Drake gives him a reason to start looking for a way to stop himself from dying all the way. Now Danny is desperate to learn how to deal with his disabilities and stop his body from dying completely. At least he has Tim Drake at his side to help.

This Is Me Trying T 17,337 SERIES

After an argument with Dick, Tim snaps under the pressure and quits the Bats. Thanks to some encouragement from Tam, Tim goes on a road trip in the hopes he can clear his head and figure out what he wants to do with his life now that he's left the Waynes behind. It's not easy, not even close, but somewhere along the way he meets a kindred spirit. And maybe, kinda falls a little in love along the way.

The Price Of Peace T SERIES

The Juistria League - the alliance of the major countries of the continent Juisitria - has long since stood for peace. Unfortunately there is one country that is a thorn in their side whenever they try to solidify that peace: The Infinite Lands, a country of barbarians to the north where the only reason they survive is the magic in the air. Where the magic is so strong that even children develop a talent, which they themselves call "the blessings of the dragons". The country that, last time the Juistria League had tried to negotiate, had waged a war more brutal then anything seen before on them, for over a decade - right until the moment a rebellion caged him. Not long ago, his murderer took the title. And now, that very same newly crowned High Chief demands negotiations of them. Bruce would rather die, would rather see Gotham and all of Juistria in flames than to allow that man to take one of his children. Tim, however, makes another decision before he could say that. Now, everyone has to hope Phantom will be happy with the boy… Meanwhile Danny is just too stunned that they actually agreed to that to do anything about the sudden engagement.

Given Flesh And Form M 6,308 SERIES

When Bruce is stuck in time with no way out, there are faster ways to get results than to chase clues all across the seven continents...and it's not like Tim needs complete body autonomy anyway. So what if he agrees to host a budding baby royal ghost until it can form a new body? That's, like, what, under a year's worth of taking it easy? In exchange for his adoptive Dad's life? No contest. Tim strikes a deal with the King of All Ghosts and doesn't regret it for a second. Meanwhile. Tim's family is certain that something is wrong...but what?

I'll Pay You Ten Times G 5,004 SERIES

Being kidnapped is nothing new. Being kidnapped by a boy more or less his age, with zero recollection of how? That's kind of new. Offering said boy, who looks like a mercenary, money to save him in hopes he doesn't have a moral code? Yeah, that's totally new. But Tim is acing it. He can do this. Now only if this mercenary didn't look so hot while kicking goons' butts, that would've been really nice.

Better Halves (And Other Such Falsehoods) M

Danny's trying to recover all the shards to an entity's chalice so that it'll stop destroying the zone while tensions rise amongst his subjects- and trying to finish high school. Tim's juggling his case load, his work as CEO, and does not have time to be embroiled in a sex scandal right now. If that means he has to pretend to date a very suspicious heir to a rival company, then so be it. It's a mutually beneficial relationship. So what if Tim's becoming a little too intrigued by the illusive, powerful Phantom? So what if Danny can't stand the Justice League for leaving him to deal with all of Amity's problems when he was just 14? That's a superhero thing. And their fake boyfriend has no clue that they're a superhero.

Ghosts Don't Go To High School T

Danny Fenton is having a good day, really. It's his birthday and the ghosts were leaving him alone for once! Then his parents discover his blood is contaminated with ectoplasm and move him halfway across the country to Gotham City! Now Danny needs to keep his secret safe from his parents, help a ghost child find her way home, and try not to get expelled from Gotham Academy. And why does the sight of his physics partner make his heart pound? Must be all the coffee he brings him. Danny needs a nap.

Hi My Name Is Danny What's Your Favorite Dinner Food? T 666 SERIES

Clockwork is prolly laughing his ass off right now, the prick. Alrighty, itemizing time, what does Danny know about his current situation? He is apparently a cartoon here?

The Bakery Is A Front!...Right?: T 13,211

Danny Fenton starts his own business in Gotham. He knows that moving to Gotham is dangerous, but it is the only other place with enough natural ectoplasm to sustain him. His bakery quickly grabs the attention of the locals for its fantastic taste and unknown secret ingredient. Things are fine until Danny starts hiring goons out of jobs and getting street kids to make deliveries. His pastries have a strange effect on people, leading people to assume Danny is pushing a new type of drug, using his bakery as a front for his up-and-coming crime empire. To prove it, Tim and Jason go undercover to find out what he uses and how to put him away.

xOTHER BATFAM

I Was In The Middle Before I Knew What Had Begun G

Danny Fenton is starting a new life with his sister Jazz. Only Jazz isn't the annoying, well meaning big sister that he's known all his life but a five-year-old. Now thrust into the position of caretaker to the one that has always been a caretaker to him, Danny has to push through his pain at losing the one he loved the most while reconciling to his new reality. Now Danny Fenton, uncle to Jazmine Fenton, he's struggling to make ends meet and keep the right to care for the last family member he's got (something that the city of Gotham is far too eager to rip away from him). Cassandra Cain is enjoying her life. She has a cause to rally for, something to devote her whole life to that gives her such purpose that she might as well be alive because if it. She is finally starting to engage in a civilian life as well, setting down some roots in a ballet studio and allowing herself to make some tentative connections with her peers there. When she offers to help out a friend with her ballet class for underprivileged children, Cass is struck by a young man carrying so much grief inside. When she investigates more, Cass discovers this Daniel Fenton is at the mercy of a merciless city because of his meta status.

Harrowing Holidays G 8,553 SERIES

After a few months of dating, Danny invites Jason to Amity Park for Fenton Thanksgiving—both Danny & Jason have convinced themselves, despite all evidence to the contrary, that the other is their normal civilian boyfriend, and don't want to mess things up by revealing their secrets.

Stand By You T 11,867

Dick tumbles through his bedroom window and stumbles to the kitchen. His black and blue suit is stained with blood but the pain from the cut in his side is nothing next to the mental anguish he’s feeling at the moment. All he wants is to get himself patched up and in bed. He had been optimistic this morning that today might turn out okay. Now he doesn’t remember why he’d ever thought that. Upon reaching the kitchen, finds the lights already on and a person dozing at the kitchen bar. His next step ought to have been equally soft as the ones before, barely audible, perfect for stealth. But between the pain and his surprise it came out as more of a thump than a soft pad like cat’s feet. She perks up and turns to face him. He freezes. It’s Jazz. It’s date night.

We Are Infinite As The Universe We Hold Inside NR 8,399

Stephanie Brown finds herself in the awkward position of being pregnant with a god's child and learning this from John Constantine of all people.

Time To Fall In Love NR 6,294 SERIES

A cult uses a ritual designed to summon and bind the Ghost King to their will. What they don't know is that it's actually a ghostly marriage ceremony.

Equilibrium M

There's a new mask on Jason's turf, and this one refuses to leave. Will Jason be able to scare him off, or will they enter into a partnership that can either save them both or drag them screaming into the darkness that hides in both their hearts?

Fuck Around And Find Family M 14,144 SERIES

Danny spends some quality time with the Batfam. And the GIW

A Deal With The Ghost King NR 4,524

When the Ghost King refused their offer of souls in exchange for saving the world, the Justice League had been scrambling to find something he would accept instead. But when the King dissapeared and the world was saved when they weren't looking, Constantine had been in a panic. Someone else had made a deal with the King, offering something worth more than all the souls on Earth. But what? And who had made the deal? Meanwhile, Jason left the meeting. He had a date to plan!

Empty Graves NR

Danny has lost everything. His family, his friends, his haunt. His core is shattered, his powers don't work. He wasn't able to save them, what good is he now? Stuck alone in the limbo between life and death, Danny has nothing left to live for. After a panicked flight that finds him stranded in Gotham, Danny stands atop a tall building and stares down, the tips of his shoes teetering over open air. he closes his eyes and--there's a scream. Fine. He'll try to save one more life. He has to. Or he'll die trying.

Smash Or Pass? T

imagine this, a reporter is asking citizens of Gotham their opinions on the various bats in the city when they stumble across Danny.sleep deprived and looking it, Danny is not paying attention to the reporter at all.

reporter: "What is your opinion of Red Hood?"

danny, who stayed up all night playing smash or pass with sam and tucker, only hearing red hood: "Smash." and then danny keeps walking, unaware that he'd just gone viral with only a single word.

Behind The Fortress Walls T 32,706

Jazz is in love with Dick. He’s kind, considerate, and caring. Far and away the nicest person she’s ever dated. But she’s lying to him. About so, so much. And he’ll hate her once he learns the truth. Assuming he doesn't get tired of her canceling all their dates first. When Danny and Ellie go missing, the latest in a series of ghostly disappearances, she's forced to cancel another date. Going to Elmerton to meet up with Tucker and Sam, she will get Danny and Ellie back from the GIW no matter what it takes. Only...they aren't the only ones breaking in.

#danny phantom #dc #batman #dpxdc #long post #fic rec

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adkawariatka · 11 months ago

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Hi so I am mainly posting my art buuut for a few months I have been thinking about that idea.... You see I am a fan of Danny Phantom fanfiction and have been reading some for almost 2 Years..... I AM not confidend in my abilities as writer especialy that english isn't my first language (for any mistakes sorry). I am especially fan of dcxdp works and I wanted to share:

Because in some concepts ghost are territorial and Jason is somehow touched by death, imagine Danny fleating from ghost Hunters (GIW and his parents) for months and stumbles in his chase into Gotham specify in to crime alley. And there is Jason with some other bats preferably Nightwing and Red Robin in crime alley, meeting over some other case. And then Jason looses himself in The Pit and starts to run somewhere. where? To The place where Danny unaware of The fact that he just crossed line of someone else's territory (because Jason isn't dead but only touched by it and it is hard to sense him especialy for such young ghost as Danny) started to get ready to spend night on some rooftop. So Danny exhausted wounded and sleepy gets hammered by Jason who is in The middle of pit attack over something unalive entering HIS territory. Of course with Dick and Tim hot on his tail and Batman on his way. When Jason starts to attack Danny The present bats of course start to defend him. Meanwhile, Danny Has a melt down over fact that he overstepped on someone else's ground and that super Heroes from Gotham are adamant on making The owner of said ground even angrier at him. And he knows how furious he must be because he wos in his shoes more times that he can count. So he does The only sensible thing. He shouts at The bats to stop and pushes himself before Jason. Making sure he doesn't look in The burning green ice of The other creature he bends his knee. Tuning his head to The right and a little up. So his throat is easly accessible to The other Sharp fangs assuming position generally accepted in Infinite relams as non thretening and humbled. Jason then stops his assalut shocking present heros. Danny takes IT as good sign and starts to talk:

Danny: hello The mighty owner of this ground. I am Phantom, traveler who entered your territory by mistake. I understand your Anger and desire to punish me. My mistake brought you fury and inseciurity for that I am sorry. Please forgive to this humble wayfarer if you wish to penalize me I will gladly accept but please don't be harsh as I am only trying to pass and mean no harm.

Danny isn't first to crossing paths with other relams inhabitants and he learned some culture he is not some rude brat and does knows about Proper apologies. He expects beating or some favour, if The owner does not decide to kill him.... Hopefully. He did stupid mistake after all. He blames concusion and that two days old gun wound. Meanwhile Jason is in shock how this kid in matters of some strange pose and few Words brought him back peace. As are The bats obserwing The scene.

Jason: what did you do?

Danny doesn't lift his gaze. Feeling still some fury and concusion

Danny: I.... -and stops and thinks what he is suppoused to do. Beside stepping on his territory. He wracks his head for other offenses while Jason gets agitated by lack of response

Jason: What did you do!!!!!???

Danny is a little confused but he sees bats starting to creep closer and reading their wepons. Danny is tired and irritated at them. Do they want to get him killed that badly?

Danny: STOP right there! We are in The middle of a negotiations!

Then risks a glance to his listener. He windens his eyes identyfying The creature as touched by death. Someone who died and come back often caused by clinical death but there are sometimes complications. When he focus he can feel all the corrupted ectoplasm in front of him.

Danny: I don't know what you mean touched by death. I know I am trespassing and that you are angry. If you decide what price should I pay.... Do you want a favour? Or... To let out your frustration?

Jason stares dumbfounded and then asks:

What?

Danny: for entering your territory...?

Danny gest a little confused

Jason: what did you called me? What price... Who The hell are you?

Scratch that Danny is totally lost.... As his conversationalist apparently. But he did not survive alone on The run for that long without being a little sly himself. Lifting his head he looks at Jason and allows his own eyes to flash green. He hears curses from bat themed heros.

Danny: Lets do IT that way. I will anwser three of your questions and you will forget about my faults. Do we have a deal?

Jason narrows his eyes and makes a decision this kid knows something about him also Has pit inside him and doesn't wanted to RIP his throat... Yet. He will try. Decides and gives his hand to The kid lifting him up.

Jason:Deal, why did you called me touched by death?

Danny: because at some point you died.... And came back. Its not as rare as you might think. Clinical deaths and all. It happens and leaves permanent Mark on you.

He can see The bats getting closer listening. And even trying to sat something before they get cut off

Jason: How do you know that?

Danny: we can feel it. Inhabitants of Infinite relams have ability to sense others Like themself. Its Like six sense. pretty cool right?

Jason: We as you died too. So you too took bath in lazarus pits. How do you Control pit madness? what are Infinite relams and its inhabitants?

Danny: what? I don't know what this madness or pits are... Infinite relams idą dimension where dead lives on. Its a place that Ghost, old gods, magical creatures and other various beeings calls home.

Jason: do who are you?

Danny grins misheviously and takes view steps back. He now stays closer to The edge of The roof. Thanks to The conversation he could asses The situation and gather his power for escape.

Danny: I am afraid that wos fourth question.... Thanks you for your generosity touched by death. I Hope we will never see each other again.

And then he proceed to jump of The roof. He hears The frantic footsteps and vioces. then flies few alleys away from this territory. He hits The ground hard keeping The invisibility on because he is not stupid to think that its Safe here. His wound got worse. He is hungry cold and hurt badly. He hopes he will survive this.

Soooo that's it. Its only na idea if you want to work on its feel free just let me know if you do because i would love to see what you created. Like i said ealier its my first work, Prompt.... something i don't even know what to call IT😅

#dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #danny phantom #danny fenton #ghost #gotham #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #phandom #fun fiction #writing prompt

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atopvisenyashill · 11 months ago

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i totally get not shipping jonerys but i think there's too much potential for george not to explore. i do think jon is going to be critical of dany’s methods and they’re doomed, but they have a lot in common too? like wanting to impose their beliefs and world view on others, and they can bond over having really bad pr too! i just hope that it’s more interesting than the show, for my own sanity.

I do think there's potential to explore but I just do not see the romantic potential. Their commonalities are not the sort that would make them get along. Jon's bad PR is he's a reclusive dick running off bad advice (from another Targaryen to boot) who won't explain his long term plans to people he doesnt like, sends every single one of his allies away, and is trying to break down long held prejudices in the span of a few months. Dany's bad PR seems similar except on top of "breaking down long held prejudices" she trusts violent, shady ass men at every turn (while Jon just straight up executes Slynt! Do you see Jon misstep wrt Alliser and Bowen? Yes, but he is not sitting here justifying their violence the way Dany justifies men like Daario), compromises in ways that completely undermine the prejudices she's trying to break down, and has now simply accepted that her dragons killing innocent people is an acceptable loss. Dany takes a profit off the selling of slaves and I simply do not believe Jon would react so cavalierly to Dany telling him about how she burned her slave alive to hatch her dragons, especially after whatever shenanigans Melisandre and Stannis are going to be getting up to in TWOW. Not for nothing here, but Jon does not use Ghost as a killing machine; anyone or anything Ghost has killed has been in defense of Jon while Drogon is very much a weapon of war.

Beyond that, Dany's identity is very tied up in the being the last dragon. She's going to be ten times worse in the books about finding a dragonseed in Westeros, especially if Rhaegar found out Elia was killed and married Lyanna, thereby legitimizing Jon above Dany's own claim. She's going to kill Aegon VI and destroy KL, maybe even Casterly Rock and parts of Dorne as well! The thing I think everyone overlooks here though is that she is not getting to Westeros until the very end of TWOW at the earliest! She's going to have wracked up a kill count higher than every other character on page, probably a kill count higher than the Conquerors or the Dance or the Redgrass Field. Regardless of any similarities they have in their backgrounds, what Jon is likely to feel when she lands is horror, and a fair amount of nerves. Do I think he will feel guilt for having a hand in his aunt's death, in ending the line of Targaryens? Yes, absolutely! It doesn't mean his guilt will drive him to side with a woman who lands with a slave army and then sets fire to half the continent.

And to be completely honest, if they do hook up, if she lands and she's lauded as a hero after destroying the city states of Slaver's Bay, after slaughtering the khals of the dothraki, after taking a profit off slavery and engaging in collective and cruel & unusual punishment, if murdering Aegon VI for *checks notes* being lied to about who he is and having a better claim than her but not "earning" his ending, and finds some sort of happiness with Jon, I'm saying that's 100x more misogynistic than what the show did, not to mention nauseatingly imperialist and classist. The reason I am very firm in saying Dany will go dark is because it is my opinion anything less is a betrayal of the themes of non violence, the costs of war, and the punishing of the poor. Like, Robb's murder is a tragedy but the book does not shy away from the harm he does! Dany will not (should not!) be treated any different just because she's a woman; that's like the basis of feminist theory!

#a normal person would look at the mess she made of slaver's bay and go 'dude what the fuck is wrong with you.'#unfortunately jonathan snowflake of game of thrones hbo is blinded by emilia's pretty face just like d&d and emilia herself are!#anti daenerys targaryen #anti jonerys #like even if jonsa doesn't happen. they're not hooking up. there's a world i do believe jon feels a complicated kinship with her.#but that doesn't mean he's going to like her.#like if jon had settled the wildlings and been like 'this is too hard. you're all part of the night's watch now and you have no choice'#you can bet i'd be dragging his ass the way i drag hers. but he gets shanked specifically bc he *refuses* to compromise in this way.#dany is a politican. jon is an idealist. neither ultimately makes good leaders.#asks #once again sorry if this sounds mad. i'm not mad. just animated.

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paradoxcase · 7 months ago

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Chapter 29 of Nona the Ninth

There's a First skull on this chapter, but there's no one in it who's associated with the First, I guess unless you want to count Pyrrha and/or Kiriona, but neither of them have big speaking parts here

So Paul can do necromancy just fine, and doesn't seem to be affected by Varun the Eater at all. I guess this is because Camilla's body used to belong to a non-necromancer?

Honestly, why didn't John decide that the Lyctors should wind up in the cavalier's body instead of the necromancers? The pros are that their final body, that they'll have for all of eternity, is not made out wet noodles and can wield a sword that's not a rapier, and also they will be immune to the resurrection beasts' madness aura, and I don't think there are any cons, really. Ianthe could do necromancy from Babs' body just fine, so I don't think that would be an issue. It does mean that Ianthe would spend eternity looking like Babs, but that's ok, I don't have a lot of sympathy for Ianthe

I just realized that they totally abandoned Babs' body in the tunnels and it's probably going to get eaten by a Herald. Poor Babs, first Ianthe disrespected him by doing his hair wrong, and now he doesn't even get a funeral. He was kind of a dick, but I'm not sure he deserves all the desecration his body has been through

I guess because it seems like We Suffer is staying behind to hold off the Heralds and let the truck escape? This wasn't made super clear

So there is a messenger, and two parts of a message, and Aim is one of the parts. So is she three separate entities? She is sometimes saying "I" and sometimes saying "we" and the first "I" refers to the messenger, but Aim is the name of one of the messages. I don't know who "us" refers to in "when the message was passed to us" because previously the messenger was singular. And we have a new name Emma Sen, which doesn't seem to follow any of the naming conventions we've seen so far, though it does have some letters in common with "messenger". And I'm curious what it means for the message to be "too simple for human beings like us to understand". She hopes Nona will hear it, so maybe it is intended for planets? I guess this will probably get resolved in the next book, since there's not much time left in this one

Pash made a joke! I think she is learning how to be funny from Pyrrha. I think someone should write an AU where Pyrrha is married to Wake and is Pash's cool aunt, I think that would be fun. Maybe G1deon can be in there somewhere too

I wonder if she still thinks it would be super romantic for Harrow to eat her soul and is jealous of Paul now or something

Ok, but I'm pretty sure you're going to the Ninth to kill John and as we all know that will explode the sun and etc., etc., so I'm not sure that's actually true

I like how she talked to Juno Zeta for five minutes and she learned the names of all her family members and now is someone she has to say goodbye to

Interesting and sad that Paul refers to Palamedes and Camilla as "they" and not like, "we"

Gideon is just pissed that there isn't anyone she can call "Sex Pal" any longer. I wonder if they picked that name specifically because it would be hard for Gideon to come up with a funny variation of it

If We Suffer is staying behind, I wonder what Paul has planned here

Or do they just mean that she will die soon, and they will see her ghost in the River?

Since the next chapter is the last John chapter, I guess this means that Nona passes out after they enter the River

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth

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eattherichplease · 2 years ago

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The Addams Nunnery Theory

So, I'm no expert on Shakespeare or even the English language, which is unfortunate, because I'm going to make a half-hearted –but very brave!– attempt of deciphering the parallels and references to Hamlet in Wednesday (2022) that, I believe, are intentional, and can give us hints of what's to come in season 2.

(A warning: I'm smarter in Spanish. This reads like broken English because it is)

Anyway here's the facts: there are scattered references to Hamlet, or at the very least Ophelia, on the show. I have other things to do with my life so let's focus on episode 1 for now. The references are not subtle.

First of all, principal Weems sends Wednesday to Ophelia Hall, where both she and Morticia used to live.

Ophelia from Hamlet? Kinda!

Does Ophelia kills herself? Maybe! Most likely! Let's say yes. Most experts say yes, it makes narrative sense, and Wednesday seems pretty sure about it.

But is Ophelia driven mad by her family? Well it's been a while since I read Hamlet... but I won't say that's the main reason. Ophelia goes mad because she's in love with Hamlet, who a) doesn't love her back (maybe?), b) treats her like shit (as a bit?), c) rejects her brutally, d) kills her father (a dick move tbh).

So Larissa Weems sends Wednesday to "Unrequited Love that Drives You Crazy" Hall, where she and Morticia used to live together... Subtle, Larissa. Real smooth, girl.

Anyway let's keep going.

Enid gives Wednesday the tour, which includes the fountain in the quad with the carved image of Ophelia drowning inside! like this:

Right there sitting with Ophelia we have our main girl Bianca Barclay, who is introduced to the viewer alongside the Ophelia statue/carving thing, and:

Is this then our Ophelia, hopelessly in love with the tortured prince of Denmark, destined to (ironically) drown? (ironic because she is a siren you know). Well, that would make Xavier our Hamlet. He's a rich heir and tortured by visions... So maybe? That's an option! But I think that's the superficial reading. Bianca doesn't go mad, after all, doesn't commit suicide. She moves on. Xavier doesn't go mad either, he doesn't kill anyone, not even himself. I believe they are just a red herring, a misdirection. Or maybe an early prototype, an aperitif, a model of what's to come. It's a one-act play that happens before the real play starts, to warm the audience. Fascinating, right?

After showing us the drama, the focus goes back –and remains– on Wednesday and Enid. And here's when Wednesday and Enid start showing their famous dynamic of vitriol & sugar, sarcasm & heart. Wednesday plays the insufferable Hamlet, endlessly monologuing inside her head, playing with the macabre for funsies and making comments about anything and everyone from her high horse without any regard for the feelings of the people around her:

While Enid usually takes a deep breath and counts to ten inside her head:

As she herself will say later, she's trying hard to be Wednesday's friend.... and Wednesday is not going to make it easy for her.

So the stage is set. Turn for the dramatis personae. Who is who in this drama? As you have possibly guessed, I posit that Wednesday is Hamlet. She is a rich heir, she is the most intellectual of all characters, she believes she's surrounded by idiots, she pretends to be "normal" or "mad" as she sees fit (and sometimes she seems to be truly unhinged), she has a dark sense of humor (alas, Yorrik), she thinks herself victim of a great conspiracy, she tries to unravel a murder mystery, she hates her mother, etc, etc, etc. She is also the "meta" character. She is writing a murder mystery inside a murder mystery.

And like Hamlet, Wednesday is visited by the ghost of her father (in this case her ancestor Goody), that tells her he's been murdered (colonized, genocided, burned alive). That's the start of the plot.

So Wednesday is Hamlet.

Who is Ophelia? Who is going to slowly go crazy of unrequited love for Wednesday? We have three candidates:

Tyler the psycho boy. He's not really in love with Wednesday (not really, his words) and he's not suicidal (quite the opposite)... True, his father do forbids him from courting Wednesday, which mirrors the scene where Polonius does the same with Ophelia (although for different reasons). But Tyler is not a victim, he's a real monster, a criminal. He doesn't even show remorse. And even if he's mad, he doesn't go mad because of Wednesday rejection... He was a bully and a crazy axe-murderer way before that. He's no Ophelia. Also, his father is not killed by Wednesday (he's police, which means he can't be killed by our beloved protagonist, because this is an American show! yikes!)

Xavier. A nice Ophelia indeed! He is obsessed with Wednesday to the point of being pathetic. He draws creepy, realistic paintings of her in his personal studio to admire. And he's brutally rejected by her. He's even thrown in jail by "Hamlet"! In the play, Hamlet threatens Ophelia with sending her to "the nunnery", or contemptuously sends her to "the nunnery" (as a joke??), to make clear he doesn't want anything with her. Wednesday seems to be doing the same here, sanding Xavier to horny jail (literally). So do we have a winner? Maybe! Xavier doesn't go mad with sadness after being rejected... well not yet at least. Also Wednesday hasn't killed his father... yet. She will probably in season 2... Vincent Thorpe is most probably the stalker.

But wait, we still have one contender in the match for the role of Ophelia! Our girl Enid!! My girl! I love her dearly. Is she in love with Wednesday? I'll say yes, but it's open to interpretation. It's Wednesday in love with her? Same answer. Things are complex in this world of compulsory heterosexuality where showing shappics loving each other in a screen can make Esther Sinclair (Netflix) send you to conversion camp (show cancelled). So everything depends of season 2! Is she in love with Hamlet!Wednesday? Will she be driven mad by Wednesday's attitude and constant rejection of her advances? I kinda doubt it. Wednesday seems to be warming up (the hug, you know). But maybe Enid wants more, Wednesday says no, etc? Enid could be Ophelia. Don't want her to be though. That would be a home of phobia.

Anyway the Nunnery Theory.

In the play, Hamlet says to Ophelia:

"I say, we will have no more marriages (...) To a nunnery, go."

Which basically means: "Girl, I don't want nothing with you, I don't even want marriages in the kingdom: that's how much I don't want to marry you. Go to a convent and get yourself interned. Also fuck you".

So Ophelia goes mad. Also Hamlet kills her father. And she commits suicide.

And so, three possibilities for season 2:

Wednesday rejects Tyler (done). He goes mad (he already was). Wednesday kills officer Galpin (why?). Tyler commits suicide (because he suddenly develops a conscience, because showrunners are lazy) or goes to jail forever ("nunnery").

Wednesday rejects Xavier (done). He goes mad (kinda?). Wednesday kills Vincent Thorpe (probably for unrelated reasons). Xavier commits suicide (because he is a drama king) or goes crazy and is interned in a mental asylum ("nunnery").

Wednesday rejects Enid (because he is a mess with emotions). Enid goes mad (lots of anger inside that girl, we love her for that). Wednesday kills Esther Sinclair (deserved, I'll give her a standing ovation to be honest). Enid commits suicide (I'll put a b**** in the Netflix headquarters) or is interned in werewolf jail (the home of phobia).

All of this IF and only IF Xavier is still a character in the show (maybe he'll be recasted), since Percy Hynes White seems to have been fired for being a creep and kind of a criminal (presumptive). So maybe he's not even there. Or maybe he commits suicide in episode 1 and that's the murder mystery of the season. (That's what I'll do but I don't work for Netflix).

Also Bianca could be Ophelia and she's still in love with Xavier and drowns which is the dumbest thing ever. Not even an option.

So who will be sent to the nunnery???? I sure don't know.

I'm tired bye!!! If you read all of this I love you!!!

#wednesday netflix #wednesday #the addams family #hamlet #media analysis #the addams nunnery theory #xavier thorpe #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #tyler galpin #larissa weems #theory #wednesday spoilers

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semper-legens · 1 year ago

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111. The Haunting Season

Owned: No, library Page count: 291 My summary: A wheelchair with its own life. A dead girl who is beautiful forever. A woman hidden away from the world. A stranger needing help who was dead the whole time. Spooky tales of winter hauntings from some of the best horror authors in the business. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

This collection has been on the shelves at work for months. It looked interesting, and I've picked it up so many times and flicked through only to stick it back on the shelf. Well, no more. I've read it now, and overall I liked it! As with any short story collection, there's individual stories I liked better or worse than others, but all together it's a pretty solid collection, and certainly an enjoyable and engaging way to spend some time. As ever, I'm only going to talk about a few of the stories that particularly stood out to me under the cut. So here we go!

The first story in this collection is A Study in Black and White, based around a traveller who sees a mysterious old house with chess-themed topiaries in the garden and finds himself compelled to rent it. I felt like this story did a great job in showing the main character to be a total dick in ways that were fun and enjoyable. He's rude to people he thinks are below him (read: everyone), sees himself as being probably the only intelligent person in the world, refuses to believe that any of the supernatural stuff around him is actually happening, and is overall just an unpleasant little man. It's classic horror storytelling - set this guy up as a bastard and it's fun to watch him fall. The atmosphere of this story was very spooky too, something about the idea of a big old house where the house itself is alive and knows far more about what's going on here than you do just gets to me. And it was interesting that very little of the horror was explained, leaving the reader to draw their own conclusions.

One story that surprised me was The Eel Singers, which was Natasha Pulley's contribution and is set in the world of her novel, the Watchmaker of Filigree Street. It features the two main characters of that book, Thaniel and Mori, the latter being a precognitive who lives both in the past and future. Mori wants to visit a town where his precognition is nullified, meaning he'll be able to just relax and be himself for once without knowing what the future has in store for the both of them. But this town is not as it seems, and Thaniel and Mori find themselves caught up in it. I really like Thaniel and Mori from when I read Filigree Street, but even if I was approaching it as a beginner, I think that Pulley did a great job in explaining the quirks of this world and these characters to the layman. It never felt like endless recapping, just a nod here and there to acknowledge that these characters belong in their own world. The story itself was creepy in a fun way, with Thaniel and Mori being slowly taken over by the being that exists in this place, and barely escaping with their lives. It's tense as all hell!

The Chillingham Chair, by Laura Purcell, was another interesting one. Purcell seems to really like writing historical horror that's centred around an object - a corset, bone china, and now this wheelchair. The premise is that our main character is injured a few days before her sister's wedding to a man she had previously rejected, and has to use a wheelchair that once belonged to his father. But it seems to have a life of its own, and propels her to places she doesn't want to be. At first, you're led to believe that the chair (or rather, the ghost inhabiting it) wants to kill her, and I had some problems with that on the grounds that characterising and perfectly normal mobility device as being evil, or a hindrance to its user, wafted into the ableism zone. But then it turned out that, nope, the chair was trying to help. The fiancée killed his father and brother, blaming the latter for the former's death, and was going to kill the woman who rejected him so that her sister can inherit the whole fortune. It was a clever twist, I have a soft spot for supernatural horror where the supernatural entity is helpful or benign and it turns out the real monsters were human. Cheesy? Yes! But I like it.

Next, back to CHERUB again, and a more dangerous mission for James and Lauren.

#The Haunting Season #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #book blogging #4

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aura-acolyte · 1 year ago

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✪ @ariadosanon

I saved the worst for last. Mostly because our relationship is complicated and this could get long. You are, for all intents and purposes, one of the worst and most loathsome people I have ever had the displeasure to meet. You're cruel and ruthless and sadistic and if I'm being honest quite scary. I hate you with my entire heart and soul. And I'm sure you'd take every single thing I just said as a compliment.

But also I Don't think you're inherently mean. You're a dick for sure and absolutely a troll but after you broke free from the Celebeast's influence you've really been nothing but cordial to me. And I've been polite back because even if I despise you that doesn't mean I have to be an asshole. I get my jabs in when I can but that's all in good fun. I've never seen you treat someone worse than they treated you (verbally, at least. The same probably can't be said for physically unless Marny tried to kill you). I'm also nice because being mean to you isn't very fun. Getting under your skin is extremely hard and I'm not going to stoop to the level of going after your trauma.

I also respect your strength. There are very few people who can keep up with me on a physical level so I Don't get to go all out very often. It's fun to get to cut loose every now and then. Plus I think we accidentally started a rumor that the ghosts of the ancient kings of Hoenn have returned from the grave to continue their eternal war which is absolutely hilarious.

All in all, I hate you more than anybody else I know but I'm not gonna treat you differently because of that. Next time you're free let's fight again.

Ah, my follower count's going down after this but I honestly Don't care.

#pokeblogging #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #irl pkmn #mare responds

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the-firebird69 · 8 months ago

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Swedish House Mafia ft. John Martin - Don't You Worry Child (Official Vi...

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The analogy is that supposed to be dave aka Dan and I take my brother down and if you think about it Kronos name is Saturn and when I was little I had a Golden throne I would have pretty much whatever I needed but it's time went on I had to learn about money and things like that and he was cutting me off and didn't have any start any business or anything like that and he knew he was doing and he was pretty Sharp the analogy fits oddly enough into a different scenario where I supposedly hit my brother and he slowly dies and he really was hit in the tunnel and my dad made you at least for my computer she made the laser light computer that was my dad who did that and lots of times hardware rules over software that's a rule of computing and it was seems that is what this song means and he's saying he got us to fight and such it's really did not happen and my dad is considered to be gone and that would be something nobody confirmed but my dad knew that David would be a problem and he always used to say heaven has a place for me. Problem being that he was running things and never really had a place for me and said it but didn't do it and it's far worse than what happened to Dan I was left Wally Wally and it still is pennies and really if it's enforced by him and he's on Saturday you're kind of screwed and it's shown here isn't doing anything for you but this is the world according to other people not mine and there's an analogy that the max draw yet Christ is not defeated until his computer is and it is within Saturn so I'm not sure what to say they have the strand delusion and analogy and did not do the work it was there before the Great space battle and it created a ghost fleet

Zues

There's a few things to say at my husband was in a worse situation and still is than Dan would ever be in but Dan was in a terrible situation and still is where his father is a massive tyrant and keeps them poor on purpose and says it all the time and he's a stupid person it causes the civil war and between himself and his kids and he's a loser you got a lot of them killed permanently you can see them on Dan's belt it's mostly his family and he's not respected for it it's disgusting and he's a loser pig and my husband says he wouldn't do it unless Trump was pushing it and the guy pushes people in the wrong way that's very very true and it's pushing and he just don't doubt it either he doesn't have it he's pushing and telling him stuff and just losing massive numbers of people counting on a program in computer that he has never seen that's how I feel and who cares if you side is a fool hes easy to fool.

Hera

What's true is this kind of stuff is terrible for us and I don't see me in there but this guy Dan has to die it's a dick hes ruining everything. We had it all and we lost it and it all turned out to be this guy here trying to blame Chris all day and all night because he's had so much guilt. Turns out ca doesn't care that much it says everybody knows what I'm doing and this guy's a jackass and we did that I got to get out of here you're so dumb dan

Sarah

Well it looks like it's all in writing and our friend here says you're kidding you should see what it says. And I see what it says saw the stupid s*** about your brother and supposed you and yeah the analogies to your people and it's supposed to be crushing them and such too and it makes sense kind of tired of this s*** and you look at them people that looks like different people too and it's saying who it's not who they are but that's what the max are saying and they're trying to knock people off and blame him then it's kind of like he's going to try and poison people and that's what they're saying and then they're mad at him for going to Thailand it's a kidnapping thing and it's just a threat and they're running that routine and that's what it is

Dan

All of this is the max doing it's disgusting and horrifying and it is no fun if it's happening to you and if it's happening to me it's what they're doing it's a bad thing and this is Tommy f I had a concert and a friend was saying it's after he took over and he does have a father but he wasn't saying that kind of stuff and he didn't know much about it he wasn't stupid I heard but no it wasn't him it's about a friend here and his actual father not his eternal dad is telling him that he has a place in heaven and it's not easy now but not to worry about it I guess I'm bringing him down on myself and I'm spreading you it's pretty easy out and a friend says you think and is laughing very loudly and Dan is smiling thank you kidding it's obvious to everybody on Earth and outsiders in the solar system and it's obvious they say obvious I made a huge mistake and I keep making it and it could have spread alignment to my own clans here's something stupid why didn't I do that and it's because Dan is after me yeah he wasn't after me at the time this sucks it was a mistake

Trump

It's about greed and this guy thought he could use ai and it didn't work at all and he does not have it and he's a fool

Thor Freya

We're going to close by saying that you people are dead here and this is how you die and the people on his belts are not necessarily his clan no they really actually are and he's a pig like his father and he learned about it have you seen this kind of thing before but you people are gross and that's because you're losers okay he reported losing Dan if you still are and it's terrible had a terrible family

Olympus we are singing to our people and our son and daughter he has a special place and she does too and it was him singing he saw the Blue lake and had his first hurting heartache because he knows what it means the lake should not be that deep and it shouldn't be so big and he had to wreck most of the planet in order to free us and that's what's happening he says that he has a plan for the heavens and we know it is and it's good and she does too they both of them are helping. We like to solve these problems here for our son it'll help our daughter and we're going to shortly

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