#Diabetes suck
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I hate dawn phenomena. As if waking up late night in itself isn’t annoying, but to be woken up by the constant beeping of a reader is worse. The alert is more of a drill that punches a whole into my skull.
I already have a nuisance of migraine episodes, and this just triggers it even more, making me stressed, causing more hyperglycemia episodes.
Enter exhaustion and endless coughs caused by irritation of my lungs and sinuses.
You’d think the raving glucose levels are enough to drive you to the brink of hell, but TO ADD CYSTIC FIBROSIS EPISODES AND ALL ITS TAIL OF OTHER COMPLICATIONS INTO THE MIX? Have mercy.
I was fine with my sleeping bacteria and gnawing pains but commmmmnooonnnnn LET A WOMAN SLEEP.
This cycle of hell is freakishly annoying and irritating.
Thank you.
#cfrd#diabetes#dawn phenomena#dawn effect#hyperglycemia#diabetic#diabetes suck#when does this ennnddd#cystic fibrosis#i hate this#i want to sleep#cf#personal vent#wild glucose
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I is a Vampire it seems...
I go to bed every night at around 10-ish, and wake up at the asscrack of dawn... (usually 4-5am) I must be part undead as well...
I nap of course, but I mean, fuck.
Ghost has to be the best band besides The Offspring. Dayum.
I need to get dressed and start my day. I need to eat something too... my glucose levels are down, but then they always are. I'm getting used to that fact.
Eh.
Sammy
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David Eilander "the Magician"
You might've seen him before at @thecrimsonvalley-creates since we came up with this face together!
I personally headcanon that he's got dubious eating/sleeping habits. He sometimes cuts meals by smoking and consuming large amounts of caffeine and sugar. As shown here: drinking Rusty Lake Cola, made with genuine Lake water. There are no side effects to this drink. Don't worry about it. :)
#rusty lake#david eilander#mr rabbit#finalmente here's the boy in my style!#I was only going for portraits at first but I couldn't take the fullbody idea ouf of my head#he's just taking a small break here#of course he gets a full meal after a while#(= consumes everything within his reach)#listen this was a boy who complained about his blood sugar being low#Is he diabetic? Maybe. Did he suffer from malnourishment? Maybe. Does he have a fast metabolism? Maybe.#Is he going to compensate it all by stuffing his face with sweets even though this is another life/body? Absolutely.#He's got no fuck to give anymore#Life (as much of a ''life'' as *vaguely gesticulates at RL* is) sucks so he might as well enjoy things you get me?
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Me: been feeling icky and gross and having just enough spoons to get things done
Also me: 'ahh yes, my blood sugar has been through the roof lately!'
#idk how it is for others but whenever my BEETUS starts acting up its not just physically that it affects my body but mentally as well#over all: having diabetes fckin sucks#sunshitposting
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actual conversation we had tonight
us: hmm turns out if we eat potato sticks our blood sugar goes bonkers
them: that's not good
us: eh it's okay, thanks to the diabetes meds we'll just piss candyfloss for the next few hours
them: ..
them: out of the strong came forth sweetness
us: ..
us: widdle me this
also we're still recovering from Delilah's "hot but wholesome" sister Samadar in the 1949 Samson & Delilah film being played by the murder she wrote woman - it feels awkward
#samson and delilah#riddle nonsense#sucks to be a lion#piss poor candyfloss#that's cotton candy in usian#diabetes
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Just some more Still Wakes the Deep blah blah, but omg having just been diagnosed Diabetes type 1 myself recently, it makes me only love and feel for Roy 10X more...
This shit is litteraly poison, but so does the food we eat with how much sugar there is in ugh OTL
Never thought in a million year I had DT1, I had 0 symptoms and am in pretty good shape, but then suddenly, organs are starting to hurt really badly out of nowhere...
Don't wait too long poeple and check with your doctors even if there's ''nothing'' T0T and to all Diabetic ppl out there, keep on fighting 💪✨
#random#delete later#first 2 weeks of diagnosis i didn't realized what it meant to live with this#but the 3rd week it really sinked it and i couldn't stop crying everyday#i felt even more like a failure and it made me even more angry that my biological parents left me with that#being adopted i have no medical history and i was already living a quite healthy life style#ofc it could have been even better but now i have to do many extra steps#everything's back to normal now but holy shit that hit me like a truck#plus it was urgent since it had been MONTHS it was left untreated and my family doctor just never told me or bothered to check my blood tes#so ughh idk it sucks with life being already hard as it is#high blood pressure now this... tho theyre probably related#i prepared my bucket list sooo i guess LET'S GO?! jk jk#i'm scared to have a heart attack or stroke in the middle of nowhere where no one i love is around... and that'll be it#but i mean if it happens it happens i guess XD#i'm hopefull now but holy shit... fucking pancreas who just decides to stop working#when you read more about DT1 it just feels like a bad employee who suddenly doesn't want to work anymore#and the good boss cant do anything about it#oh well#as long as i can still create art i'll be fine and happy#diabetic? more like diabethicc
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Honestly if you're of the belief Dave is some sort of reptile or adjacent creature the fact that he adopted a reptile and named him after Henry and then an amphibian and named it after Jack is... Makes me a little emotional.
#luly talks#HE NAMED A FROG AFTER JACK NEVER FORVET N#and fat iguana. still so funny#also I actually dont know how canon the lizard stuff is like. wiki says he has a scaly hide but there's no source#and he'd be dehydrated ever think of that.?#maybe he's diabetic or something. which instantly madd me think of my other bald men in his knees begging saying he has diabetes#oooooo you want to watch thag old man get his kidney fucked ooooo you want to watch that sooo bad#sorry.i can't help getting off topic. my fave movie. back to the point#i mean dry skin is also justa symptom of poor circulation which y'know. he lacks a fucking heart. prob a bit shit on that front#but still just saying whatever now point is it's. so fucking heartwrenching almost to me#how lonely must it be being a cryptid. like on top of his dogshit life. that's gotta suck#shoutout to mutual tooth-and-bone for at least giving him caroline to be a cryptid and have a sense of family#dsaf#DSaF Dave#Dave Miller
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helppppp being disabled is so expensive fuuuck. i have like. an old insulin pump (~6 years old?) and my endocrinologist said I should get a newer model and the CGM that goes with it which runs in a loop, and that would be AMAZING for my blood sugar and keeping me a1c down but… out of pocket with the insurance I have right now (deductible not met) is $2,000 . and goddamn I do not have $2k . they have a payment plan but it’s like $50/mo for 4 years and I might die if I commit to that. but wouldn’t a new pump and cgm that work together be nice… on top of having a new service dog also??
just for the record at my current job I make $10/hr + tips and work ~25h/wk which obviously isn’t great and then I have to pay 525.60 to my dad for rent (cringe) and then leftover from that I have maybe $200 every two weeks to keep to myself but it doesn’t even keep to myself because I have a new puppy and I go to therapy and am disabled so I have doctors appointments and debts and it’s just like come ON man does everything have to be this expensive ???? why does my CGM sensor right now cost 37.99 a piece and my quarter yearly endo appointments cost $45 for just the appointment not including the debt I have accrued for the labs and other various testing that’s like $608 right now… ON TOP OF THE $1.4K DENTIST DEBT I HAVE ??!!?!? it’s over for me. fuck
#.txt#venting sorry#I’m just so. overwhelmed#i also hate asking for money from people T-T so posting like this sucks#^ that being said though if you want to send me money I will. Not say no#it’s just awkward for me to accept money from people but it does help going towards rent and food and shit on top of all of that#or you can commission me!! My commission post rn is a little out of date but#you’re always welcome to send an ask or sm#I’m also gonna try learning how to do n/s/f/w shit yeah#maybe I can make money with that too. Fuck it all#diabetes posting
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most fucked up thing about the body's response to not eating is when you're so hungry you feel like you're gonna throw up. this does not make it easier to eat food actually
#literally thanks it did not help#my body sucks so bad at eating#i literally am not hungry until im so hungry i feel sick??#also#even when i remember to eat on a schedule all food makes me queasy i literally cannot win#maybe the so hungry im about to puke thing is just a me problem idk but it is NOT helpful#im also starting a medication that i cant eat anything for two hours before or after that's going to mess up my digestion today 😊#and make me feel awful#but its an alternative to eye surgery so hopefully it will be worth it#but i havent even started it yet and im so queasy just bc i didnt really eat breakfast#its not like i had Nothing i had three bites of cheerios and a coffee....#i would have eaten the cheerios but i was late for an appointment lol#anyway#my digestion sucks and i already cut out gluten and almost all dairy 😤#wtf else is thereee#also somehow magically even tho all food makes me sick and i barely eat regular meals i am putting on weight???#lowkey wondering if im diabetic or something bc this is not normallll
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the worst part of being diabetic is getting up
#seriously why do i wake up with great blood sugar but standing makes it spike??#pls just let me win#mornings already suck#chronically ill#chronic illness#diabetic#type 1 problems#type one diabetic#diabetes#type 1 diabetes
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decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.
#nine bullet points#of diagnosed things i struggle#i struggle with#1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd#and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck#there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit#probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor#more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao#but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues#awful at establishing boundaries#sh issues#(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter)#suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal#not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao#even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like#yeah this sucks but at least i know it#at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma#OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing.#genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized#not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet#tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh#i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’#i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now#if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.
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exhausted health update because I have to rant somewhere lol
So we're ending day 12 of my mysterious right-sided numbness. It's moved from just my torso all the way down my right leg to my toes, so now I'm just hobbling around half numb rip. And now the torso numbness feels like im being vacuum sealed or something, just a horrible tightness and lack that makes it impossible to ignore. Went to the ER the other night and had 2 panic attacks within the span of the several hours I was there, got my bloodwork redone and a cat scan which all came back with a big Nothing on them. They told me I needed an MRI but that I'd have to go through my Primary Care and after I told them my primary wouldnt see me until May they referred me to a new primary not in my network so that's been a dead end rip. So far everyone is pointing at my horrific anxiety as the cause but not one doctor has actually offered me help for the anxiety despite me having the active panic attacks in the office lol. My Primary wont see me for several months despite the severity of my current condition and none of the mental health programs I've reached out to will get back to me so for now I'm just. Existing in this anxiety Ouroboros where my anxiety causes my numbness which causes anxiety which causes numbness. I'm trying stupid home remedies to try and minimize the active anxiety attacks but so far we've just been circling around alternating Holy Basil, Benadryl and literally just drinking Rum and going to sleep, which sure all help my anxiety a little maybe but also make it almost impossible for me to function normally during the day. This is making art difficult so commissions are going slow which is obviously making me more anxious lol. I also am home alone most of the week managing the household, which is made more difficult since right now the numbness in my foot/leg makes it dangerous for me to drive and difficult for me to get around my house to do daily tasks. Idk man I'm just tired as all hell and I seem to vacillate wildly between full anxiety breakdowns and depressive/dissociative episodes. At any rate during the week I'll just be constantly calling and harassing every doctor/therapist I can get a number for trying to find someone who will be able to either address my anxiety directly or can at least get me into an MRI to rule out MS or anything else that ISNT anxiety. I'm going to become the bane of the medical profession for a while. Wish me luck!
#personal#dense rants#medical stuff#ive been really absent headed and floaty today so im a little concerned im heading into a full dissociative episode but#guess we'll see#i moved from my temporary space in our spare room back into my normal room so that'll be interesting#and my weighted blanket idea backfired since i can only find my 30lb and not my 15lb#and the 30 is a little too constricting when im already half numb#my knee also feels like gelatin so walking has become.... precarious#but it is what it is i guess#here's hoping it goes away eventually#if anyone has any other weird back alley ways of handling their chronic and extreme anxiety hmu bc im basically ready to try anything lol#if nothing else i got the satisfaction of giving the double middle fingers to every family member and health professional#who couldnt FATHOM that all of my test results came back as a big No for diabetes#because as a fat girl obviously that's the only possible thing it could be#like im not even pre-diabetic im literally healthy as a horse aside from the numbness thing#so suck on that health and diet industry
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#I’m so hungry. it just sucks because T makes me hungry but I’m a diabetic so I can’t just eat whenever and trulicity makes my stomach twist#and turn#and all I want is some Taco Bell#food ment tw
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I feel like there has to be some sort of like. FCC false advertising fine they can slap Novo Nordisk for the stupid fucking Wegovy commercials where they're like 'im losing the weight - and keeping it off.' because like
no you aren't. you literally aren't, it has been proven that you do not keep the weight off.
#els.txt#weight talk#i hate that fucking commercial so fucking bad it makes my blood boil and it sends me into a rage so encompassing i have to sit down#also as someone on semaglutide for diabetes it is. it sucks balls!!! it sucks fucking balls#if it wasn't such a godsend for my blood sugar i would not fucking take it
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The amount of times over the past week and a half that I have had to stop myself from throwing my goddamn receiver across the fucking room--
#they don't call it rage bolusing for nothing#all these highs have me LIVID#i feel like i need a diabetes tag#i go to bed high and wake up low. fucking SUCKS
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my parents refuse to cover my insulin for the month bc "i can just pay for it" im a minor and I don't have insurance for it. but if I don't have it I can get really sick and die, I'm really scared right now.
I really don't want to bother anyone but can someone venmo me please.. it would also just help to repost if you don't have enough money
it's Tammy-Johnson-811.
or add my friends cashapp so they can pay me
acesandcrows
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