#Dear Feathers

[dearfeathers--lovelaz]

To My Dearest Feathers;

Yeah... I'm still here. Life's been hectic, so I've been quiet, but you're still always on my mind. I don't think that will ever change, honestly...

I watched the total solar eclipse with my dad last month. It was really neat to watch, and definitely something I'm glad I got to see in my lifetime. I just wish you had been here to experience it with me... I think you would have really loved it...

I finally listened to The Tortured Poet's Department. I was rightfully scared to do so... Honestly I could have written the album, it was so relatable. A lot of it reminds me of you... I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one, honestly...

Summer's coming up. Reminds me of your birthday. I hope you've found a reason to turn it into a good day instead of a trauma one... Like how you were going to use my birthday to help with your holiday trauma... Guess that one didn't work out in the end after all.

I'm drowning in thoughts and feelings and depression. Makes me wonder if actually drowning hurts this much, not that I'd ever willingly do so. I wish The Lonely was real... At least the fog could make me forget you if it was. Could probably make me forget a lot of things. Remember how that episode with Martin terrified me when we listened to it...? Turned out I was right to be terrified... I'm alone now. Again.

Work sucks, honestly. My feet and shoulder hurt a lot less now, but it's almost like the back pain is permanent and just getting worse. A bunch of employees walked out during the shift last weekend. Honestly I don't even blame them. I would too if I had any other options. At least the pay is good?

Maybe people would stay if I was just a complacent little puppet... Always doing as I'm told... Never arguing. Never saying no. Just theirs to control and play with. Their favourite toy... Maybe then I'd be loved again. Who knows... At least if somebody is playing with me I'm not alone anymore...

Love Always,

Laz

May 10th, 2024

[bolithesenate]

mikkians my beloveds.

i've decided to from now on treat their head tendrils as feather crests

[binah-beloved]

distorted Binah, reading a book calmly over your shoulder in the Floor of Philosophy. it's still broken and tarnished, the distortions taking a toll on the Library, but with your presence it seems lighter, the crumbling stars shining just a bit brighter. Binah settles against you with a sound halfway between a bird's chirp and the mechanical screech of a machine, before she tenses suddenly and grabs your face in her hands. you can tell something is awry, by the way her wings ruffle and shake, but even now she's careful not to scratch your skin with her metal claws.

her many golden eyes stare, silent and horrified, and Binah lets out a raspy, rusted caw of despair as her hand trails over a tiny black feather growing from your skin.

[aisul-art]

They're all Watching fireworks! Well...some. How nice.

I do have a Version where you Can see The Firework light Illuminating on Them but I'm Not Too sure if I'm gonna Post it.

[livingisboring]

I think I finally found my best low cal monster drink. I love the taste of it 😋.

ignore my fat fingers pls

[cakeywakeyfakey]

My dear!

[xstarrywitchx]

Eddie's post office & Sally's fashion show !! :DDD

(little extra fact below)

Eddie's post office was originally meant to be in reference to this meme:

but when drawing the sketch I didn't end up with the big size difference I wanted :[ but I went with it anyway cause I didn't want to erase a bunch of stuff and think it still turned out pretty good on it's own :3 just wanted to add that in case it's still kinda funny to someone ^^"

[yourlostmotivation]

Just realised we’re getting closer to the 31st of October and I don’t think I e lost a single kg… I’m so disappointed with myself

[snowdice]

Insomnia is attempting to torture me, but it’s had hardly a chance as I’ve read through the entirety of Kill Dear tonight xD

It’s even more delightful than when I first read it 💜

I truly adore how excellently you managed to write an enemies to lovers story. How very enemies they start, and how Reasonably! And then as they open up to each other, bit by bit. And then how they manage to fall in love, Roman gradually and Logan rather all at once.

I also Really enjoy the world you’ve built for them to live in. The intersections of magic and culture are lovely. It’d be so cool to learn more about multrums! Where they come from and why and how they’ve ended up rather scattered among the countries.

I’m very tempted to put it on my to-podfic list. Your books are always delightful to read and to act out!

I'm glad you liked Kill Dear! (Again lol.) I honestly had plans for the slow opening up to be even slower, but it was a Big Bang fic (and already way way over the word minimum, so I had to push it through.

I am always down for another Kiera podcast, so you, of course, always have blanket permission. (However, no pressure obviously. You have a lot of other things to do already. :) )

[guppygiggles]

/////////////

[dearfeathers--lovelaz]

To My Dearest Feathers;

Everything is getting worse. The depression. The anxiety. The voices... Now I'm even starting to see shadows where there aren't any. I can't even talk to Enchanted about it because they're gone. Just like you.

I want to disappear. I don't wanna die, because then things will never get better again. But... I wish I could just temporarily stop existing. Sometimes I wish I was an android... Just have somebody hit the power button, they could turn it back on in maybe a year or something. Just to give me a break from all of this. I dunno. I'm just rambling, I guess.

People keep offering to let me talk to a therapist. don't want to talk to a therapist. It just reminds me of everything I've lost... Every person I've lost.

I'm going to shatter. I can feel it. It's not a matter of if anymore, it's a matter of when. It could be tomorrow. It could be next week. Or next month. Or even next year. But it's going to happen. I know it is. I just wish you were here to hold me when I do... but you're not. And that's probably why I'm so certain it's coming. Because the glue that held me together is dry and cracked and brittle, and you aren't here anymore to help me mend it. I just hope you remember me when I was healthy and healing... Not like I am now. That's the good thing about you being gone... You don't have to see the path of destruction left behind, or the shell of a person I've become.

At least at the rate thing's are going, there won't be anybody left to be upset when it happens. You know I always hated hurting people...

Love Always,

Laz

April 4th, 2024

[juryokunojikan]

Not these two wearing the clothes of the dearly departed whom they will eventually surpass.

[elavoria]

It’s that time of year again… 2023 art vs. artist! : )

Full picture of me and bonus silly outtake under the cut~

Behold, the duality of Ela:

[indecisive-dizzy]

Hi bestie!! :D

If you want to, can you share more about the Phineas and Ferb Welcome Home au?

Definitely!! gah this au is so!! Silly! and wholesome! man I was thinking about sending another ask to you but I forgor :/ curse my adhd brain lol

Anywhoo hmm let's see what I got! ,,,

A lot. I got a Lot haha,,

And we'll start with Families!

Wally and Barnaby, ofc, were adopted by Home when they were younger. He's a single parent who is very supportive of his boys' summer endeavors

Julie lives with her three older siblings! Franny is the only one still in high school. Bea and Jonesy have jobs. Oh her and Frank are still besties! Mostly when Julie goes over to Wally's she's got Frank with her

Frank's got both his parents, his dad is Brazilian and his mom is American. His parents are great (especially his dad, an absolute sweety) no one knows why this kid is such a grump lol. Also Julie is over a lot for sleepovers.

Eddie has a single mom. This kid is such a Mama's boy I can imagine him mentioning her at least once every "episode." She's a great southern mom but can come off as intimidating at times (it's the Mama Bear energy)

Sally has parents but they're irrelevant mostly. She's on her own a lot bc they work pretty much all the time.

Poppy also has parents but they're probably seen once lol. They maybe sheltered her a little too much as a kid and is trying to make up for it by "getting her out there" this summer. Speaking of,,

My brain Exploded when you said Poppy was the kid's babysitter! Her parents def shoved her into it when they were talking to Home about how he needed a sitter.

How I think it goes is Home leaves, leaving Poppy in charge. The gang arrives, and Wally says the iconic "I know what we're going to do today" (order varies) and then Sally shows up. She says hi to Poppy real quick before trying to stop the kids or bust them. Poppy leaves, mentally leaving Sally in charge bc she trusts her to keep the kids safe. So on and so forth!

Ok few more things, how the kids feel about Sally!

Wally is neutral, doesn't understand what she's on about but doesn't mind.

Barnaby thinks her attempts to bust them are hilarious and is constantly poking fun at her.

Frank has beef and sticks his tongue out/blows raspberries at her whenever she tells them to stop doing something.

Julie thinks she's cool and tries to get her to have fun. She's usually the one to drag Sally into their shenanigans where she'll enjoy herself.

Eddie is scared of her. He finds her intimidating and loud and is scared she's gonna get him trouble with his mama.

Overall none of them actively hate her. they're just kids and she's a teen trying to rain on their parade.

Gah ok one more for Howdy

My guy has no "real" trauma. his childhood was fine, he doesn't get along with most his family but that's bc he's a prick. He takes Every Minor Inconvenience and makes it sound tragic like the dramatic worm he is.

He really only gets along with his nephews, Seeya, and his Aunt Toodaloo. Oh and Beeya's the mayor... yeah Howdy doesn't like him but still favors him more over Latter. Toodaloo sends him money that helps fund his schemes, but he's also got investment stocks n such.

His cockiness is his downfall. he's so confident his inventions will work but it always blows up his face (literally). He's incompetent but if he actually took things more seriously then he'd be a genuine threat.

[screechingsandwichhologram]

JAMES MADISON SPOKE FRENCH WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT. what

[diaryofadollette]

Hello everyone!

So… relationship stuff… Why do people make other people drop their friends when they’re in a relationship? Don’t you trust your partner? why do they gotta block everyone? those are humans too. It makes me sad to think about sometimes. hasn’t happened to me yet but if someone blocked me for their relationship then unblocked me after they broke up they are NOT my friend anymore. Idk, someone explain it to me.

Another thing, don’t you all think todays fashion is… unappealing? I mean I cant talk much since I purposely dress like a doll but that’s how I express myself, why are people following a trend when you can just follow your own style? This is sad.

Anyways, need to shower, I’ll see if that helps me stay up. Don’t stay up until 4am like me everyone, its NOT fun.

Love,

Dollette