#Day 4: Come on. Let's go home.

[raiiny-bay]

sleepy morning with the boys

[arundolyn]

ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode

[the-insanity-of-mojiru]

All their money is going straight to Agata’s pockets.

[orcelito]

This just in, local struggler severely overestimates how much they can eat yet again. Left with half a bowl of ramen and a sad, sad heart

[noys-boise]

nothing's funnier than news that make everyone else disappointed but make ME go "yippee! yay!"

[maydayfireball]

so not only is my smoke detector's battery still chirping

my ac broke yesterday morning. and it's being super loud now AND im hot.

This apartment is currently over-stimulation station..

[guinevereslancelot]

why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡

[autistic-shaiapouf]

What do you mean I have to get up and do the work if I wanna try to make money <- guy who has been doing work nonstop and needs to give it a fucking rest

[ssruis]

Believe I will be sitting at ~ 40,000 for pandemonium. ruikasa if you don’t come home I’m killing someone (probably myself)

[proto-language]

don't know how i am meant to keep track of it all (essays presentations applications abstracts meals dishes laundry money societies sports relationships showers dissertations proposals sleeping more than 3 hours a night) without losing the will to fucking live

[milk-lover]

Ohhh my gosh my parents are so exhausting. I love them but goddamn i just want to sleep for 100 years. This was day 2 of Family Time we have Brunch in less than 10 hours I am going to Die

[roaringheat]

I was really productive today and i'm trying to be proud of myself but theres nothing like being reminded by my family that they consider me lesser and an after thought to kill my mood and motivation

[sidras-tak]

Accessibility takes too goddamn fucking long.

My brother was paralyzed in October 2023. We got him home from the hospital (in Texas, when we live in Iowa) in a clunky old hospital chair. He hated it. He was scared and angry and in pain and his life had just changed forever and he couldn’t do anything for himself in that wheelchair. His first goal (aside from learning how to transfer) was to get a wheelchair. My family was lucky enough to afford one so we thought it would be easy enough. Nope.

We couldn’t buy him a wheelchair. He needed a prescription. For a wheelchair. A doctor had to examine him and declare him in need of a wheelchair. It wasn’t good enough that he had scans and tests showing tumors cutting off his spinal cord. He needed his primary care doctor to examine him during a physical and write a prescription. He was making 2-4 transfers a day, tops. He had no energy to get to a doctor. Home health was in and out every day. He had no time to get to a doctor. He didn’t get a prescription for almost a month. Then it had to go through insurance.

We asked if we could skip insurance and just buy a wheelchair for him. Nope. They wouldn’t sell us one, not even at full sticker price. It needed to be approved by Medicare. We ordered a wheelchair, a nice one, a good shade of green, sporty, small. It would let him move around the house. He would be able to cook, to reach drawers and get stuff from the fridge and brush his teeth and put his contacts in at a sink. We were told it would take awhile, maybe two months. Silently we all hoped he would be around to see two more months.

He went on hospice care on a Saturday in March. On Monday, I was calling his friends to come see him before he died. I got a call on his phone. It was the wheelchair company. They were about to order his wheelchair, she said, but there was an issue with insurance— had he stopped being covered by Medicare? Well, yes. When he started hospice care, he got kicked off Medicare. The very nice woman I talked to told me to call her if he resumed Medicare coverage so she could order his wheelchair. He died less than 12 hours later.

We ordered that chair for him in early December. Medicare didn’t approve the order until March. He was dead before they got around to it. He wanted that fucking wheelchair so badly. The only reason he had any semblance of independence and any quality of life for the last five months of his life was because the wheelchair company lent him an old beater chair, a very used model of the chair he ordered. If I could go back and change one thing about his end-of-life, I would get him his dream wheelchair. He told me again and again he couldn’t wait to get it, so that he could feel like a person again. He made the best of what he had with that old beater chair, but it still makes me mad to this day. He was paralyzed. He needed a chair that afforded him dignity. We had the money for it. And yet, we were left waiting for five months, for a chair that wouldn’t even get ordered until the day he died.

[29121996]

idk . i just my creative skills n hobbies are smth ive always longed for so ive alwys studied my relationships w them and wbat triggers thsm and just . it makes me feel so fucking sad sometimes

[our-inspire-verse]

How the fuck am i supposed to recieve comfort or tell myself im not a horrible fucking EVERYTHING when literally i do nothing but cause harm. How the fuck is a perpetrator of harm supposed to be consoled? Im that fucking horrible huh

[elkian]

.