#sparklepants

[sidras-tak]

Accessibility takes too goddamn fucking long.

My brother was paralyzed in October 2023. We got him home from the hospital (in Texas, when we live in Iowa) in a clunky old hospital chair. He hated it. He was scared and angry and in pain and his life had just changed forever and he couldn’t do anything for himself in that wheelchair. His first goal (aside from learning how to transfer) was to get a wheelchair. My family was lucky enough to afford one so we thought it would be easy enough. Nope.

We couldn’t buy him a wheelchair. He needed a prescription. For a wheelchair. A doctor had to examine him and declare him in need of a wheelchair. It wasn’t good enough that he had scans and tests showing tumors cutting off his spinal cord. He needed his primary care doctor to examine him during a physical and write a prescription. He was making 2-4 transfers a day, tops. He had no energy to get to a doctor. Home health was in and out every day. He had no time to get to a doctor. He didn’t get a prescription for almost a month. Then it had to go through insurance.

We asked if we could skip insurance and just buy a wheelchair for him. Nope. They wouldn’t sell us one, not even at full sticker price. It needed to be approved by Medicare. We ordered a wheelchair, a nice one, a good shade of green, sporty, small. It would let him move around the house. He would be able to cook, to reach drawers and get stuff from the fridge and brush his teeth and put his contacts in at a sink. We were told it would take awhile, maybe two months. Silently we all hoped he would be around to see two more months.

He went on hospice care on a Saturday in March. On Monday, I was calling his friends to come see him before he died. I got a call on his phone. It was the wheelchair company. They were about to order his wheelchair, she said, but there was an issue with insurance— had he stopped being covered by Medicare? Well, yes. When he started hospice care, he got kicked off Medicare. The very nice woman I talked to told me to call her if he resumed Medicare coverage so she could order his wheelchair. He died less than 12 hours later.

We ordered that chair for him in early December. Medicare didn’t approve the order until March. He was dead before they got around to it. He wanted that fucking wheelchair so badly. The only reason he had any semblance of independence and any quality of life for the last five months of his life was because the wheelchair company lent him an old beater chair, a very used model of the chair he ordered. If I could go back and change one thing about his end-of-life, I would get him his dream wheelchair. He told me again and again he couldn’t wait to get it, so that he could feel like a person again. He made the best of what he had with that old beater chair, but it still makes me mad to this day. He was paralyzed. He needed a chair that afforded him dignity. We had the money for it. And yet, we were left waiting for five months, for a chair that wouldn’t even get ordered until the day he died.

[catfindr]

[ghostcond]

kids who study forbidden magic (alchemy club redesigns)

[crimeronan]

in the princess luz au, do you imagine luz knows her last name? do you think she changed it? on a slightly more humorous note, if she did, to what???? luz belos??? goddamn belos doesnt even have a proper fake last name

i THINK that luz still remembers her last name but doesn't really have cause to use it. my gut instinct is that she's held onto "noceda" for reasons that she can't even really quantify to herself (that mostly come down to wanting to remember she might have led a very different life in a very different place once, the ~*~*~titan's will in bringing her here~*~*~ notwithstanding). at the same time i think she'd be afraid of hurting and/or angering belos by acting like he's not her Real family, so i don't think she actively Identifies as luz noceda. it's the kinda name and memory she'd store in a private journal, i don't know if even HUNTER knows it

imagining luz trying to acquire a boiling-isles-appropriate surname is making me laugh though oh god. i feel like her official title is just Princess Luz like belos's is Emperor Belos, royalty is so new and relatively uncomplicated in the isles that long family histories are unnecessary. i can SO EASILY imagine tiny luz being Deeply Indignant about her and hunter not getting any surname when everyone Else in the castle has one, because what if she wants a surname!! what if she doesn't WANT to be different and weird just because she's a princess now!!!!

little luz and hunter splayed out on the floor kicking their feet up while writing down increasingly silly lists of stupid surnames. yes. Yes

[evaiskindaweird]

HE'S SO UGLY AUGH

[sidras-tak]

Ladybird is Bouba. Tuesday is Kiki

if you get cats you should get two. not for any behavioral reasons but to have one who is kiki shaped and one is bouba shaped. to keep your composition balanced

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

i'm having bbh withdrawls

[sidras-tak]

I don’t go to cons to “have fun” or “attend panels”. I go to cons to wander the artist alley in a daze and emerge hours later missing $200. I go to cons to think “hmm I should get some food. But the line is too long right now” every five minutes into perpetuity. I go to cons to say “you look so cool” at people in cosplay and have them not to hear me even a little bit.

[burnt-eggoss]

HELP- I just asked my sister to name/ guess the name of jd characters 😭😭😭😭 (SHES 13 AND HYPED ON LOLLIES) AND THIS IS HOW IT WENT DOWN. Jackson was the best reaction ever so I saved him for last 🩷🩷🩷

EXER Her: “…he looks like an egg”

me: *dies

her: “his name is egg”

me: *while dead* “half point…”

DAVID

her: “ooooh he looks like walker scobell!”

me: “is that his name or-“

her: “-yes”

me: “MOVING ON-“

RONALD

her: “he looks like he goes around playing rock music and being scary but he actually listens to Disney music like princess songs, and gets his nails painted”

me: attempting to stay calm and failing* “so what’s his name?”

her: “…flounder.”

me: 💀💀💀

BRENDA

her: “she’s prettyyyy”

me: “and her name is…”

her: “Erica.”

me: “why Erica?”

her: “I don’t know she gives an Erica vibe”

me: …

PAMELA

her: “she’s emo but actually pulls it off damn”

me: …

her: “she’s… ✨PETUNIA✨”

me: *im having way too much fun rn*

JOLIE

her: (with no hesitation) “Gerald.”

me: “… can we give her a girl name?”

her: “nope :)”

KEN

her: (full minute of silence and then out of nowhere…)

“Barbie”

me: *actually I cannot with Ken being called barbie*

TIMOTHY

her: “her name is lady sparklepants”

me: “…can it be Mr sparklepants?”

her: “THATS A BOY!?”

and now… the moment you’ve all been waiting for:

JACKSON

her: “Trick question- that’s just fanart of Ryder from paw patrol”

me: *fucking dies*

[sidras-tak]

OH MY GOD YEAH. Truly incredible stuff ❤️

I cannot believe I left tumblr for five years and when I return you and kit are married. Absolutely wild stuff going on. Unbelievable to think I was part of the instigation of your marriage.

YEAH LOL

Can you believe we went "yeah yes our CHARACTERS are flirting with each other. Clearly not us. We are not flirting. Haha though what if we DID date."

I wrote a version of the "roses are red" poem to include in my vows specifically because Kit wrote one featuring Peace and Poe to ask me out all those years ago!!!

Truly a beautiful butterfly effect of dnd lesbians

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

more lore and tidbits from the re-animated series now that i've seen episodes 12-16:

seabrook was founded in 1837

zed calls eliza, liza, sometimes

there's a kid's show called my tiny horseys and zed's favorite character is sir isaac sparklepants

eliza, as a kid, accidentally flooded zombietown after fiddling with her parents' washing machine

there is a trivia competition called quizbrook

there is also apparently another quiz show where the contestants get vaporized if they take too long to answer

other than shrimptok, there is also shrimpstagram and shrimpterest (their instagram and pinterest if it was unclear)

addison had/has a stuffed platypus named snuggles

zed posted videos of himself as a kid, mainly dancing videos

wynter has a great-grandmother named wolfelia

silver doesn't just hurt the wolves, it can also damage and drain the moonstone (the draining part might've been just because it was a magical ax but i'm still throwing it out there)

addison owns a label maker (and labeled it...as well as almost everything else she can get her hands on, it seems)

zed had braces when he was younger

ashley's heart is made out of stone due to an accident with a potion

coach was in a death metal band called spawn when he was in high school and was replaced with his mom who is still with them in the present

both dae and zed are good at trickshots

there is a wolf condition(???) called the moonies which are caused by the smoky moon (symptoms include: itchiness, hunger, sleepiness, acting like a dog, violent rage, partial wolf transformations, chasing your own tail (which they don't have), the urge to sniff disgusting things, a strong desire for head-pats, ticks, and fondness for fire hydrants and "bad to the bones" (whatever that means))

non-wolves can also have it if they use wolfsbane on themselves and touch a moonstone under the smoky moon but it's not permanent

there is a disease called spacefluenza that renders aliens bedridden and turns their skin purple (and little alien goo things are born from the some of the sneezes but they die almost instantly)

witch potions can expire (they still seem to work in a way so i don't really know what that entails)

zed and addison call each other babe

the aliens' electro-kinesis can apparently bring things to life

there is a hall-way of fame that cheerleaders can tryout to be a part of and bucky has the most pictures in it

part 1

[chalk-drawings-on-the-sidewalk]

sparklepants

[refriedrambles]

The fall ends with the air knocked out of her, but little pain. The surface below bounces then tilts to one side.

"You alright, kid?"

Krysa grinds her teeth and checks for injuries. Nothing feels wrong. Eyes turn to her leg, she looks at it with a frown.

"Peachy."

Grapefruitman pulls her off the fall cushion holding her like a princess. Heat builds in her cheeks as her false limb dangles a bit too freely. The man grimaces.

"Welp, that's not good."

She bites down the urge to scream. "It got caught on the way down."

"I'll tell the higher ups."

"Lost the crutches too. Probably at the beginning of the fall."

The corridor they head down is tight, dimly lit, and the walls remind her a bit of circuit boards with all the carefully placed and plentiful fans, pipes, wires, screens and buttons detailing them. She wouldn't be surprised if that's what they were going for in the first place.

"You're bite sized, kid, this is nothing." He shoots her that picture perfect smile again, quickly lifting her above his head to show off.

She doesn't latch on to his arm for dear life as he lowers her again.

"Oh, lucky me."

"Not a fan then. Fair enough. Your friend though..." He looks off to the side, smile straining once more.

"Stop."

And so he does in his tracks.

"No. I mean stop-" her face scrunches as she fails to find the words, instead turning to waving her hands in front of his face, "-THAT."

A beat passes with her staring him down with more emotion then he's seen out of her all day.

Then another as he struggles with what she's referring to. His face probably, but what's wrong with it.

Then she huffs and hooks the corners of his mouth and janks them down. He nearly drops her. She lays back to where she was originally in his arms.

"Fucking dumbass kids," he mutters. It's when she rolls her eyes he realizes he said that out loud. With a quick clear of his throat he tried to regain control of things. She is just a kid after all. "That wasn't okay. No putting hands in other people's mouths."

"I don't lecture me like one of your snot nose brats, sparklepants."

"Sheesh, I thought the other one was bad."

"Bitching is a real bad habit for someone like you, you know? Especially when people are close enough to hear. Think of the children!"

"Ugh, I know. I know."

Another beat of silence.

"So, what's wrong with that kid anyway? I mean there's gotta be something clinically wrong with him. None of that was anywhere close to normal behavior."

"Oh wow, are you sure you're a hero talking like that?"

"He is very much a danger to himself and others! Has anyone thought about getting him some help? Even just chatted with a therapist?"

The thought that the guy running around town in spandex and glittering underwear, being an actually responsible adult wasn't one she was ready for. She avoided his face as she tried to compute.

"I- How am I supposed to know?"

[sidras-tak]

Thanks @blackbird-brewster !! It’s me and Veth Brenatto <3

Tagging @leverage-ot3 @wendy-comet @rythyme

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ PICREW TAG GAME! YOU AND YOUR COMFORT CHARACTER:

stole from twitter! here’s me n abby <3

*ೃ༄ a tiny bit of applied pressure tags! @zahraaziza @millersaurora @stardustmunson @elliessknife @cowgirlcherrie @lonelyfooryouonly @destielcore @beetlejuice-e @yohibmbi @sadeyedsugar

if this flops, no it didn’t…

[john-bracket]

Also, johnpaganda!

He’s a rule-breaking anti-authoritarian bad boy but also the leader of a military expedition in another galaxy. He’s bad at talking about feelings. He’s a war criminal. He’s a super special sparklepants with the same gene as a deceased alien race. He gets to star in his own version of Die Hard. He races toy cars with the chief science officer. He is meant to be this suave Kirk-like character but is also claimed by the fandom asexuals. He is so so awkward. His laugh has been described as ‘like a donkey getting kicked’. He knew he was in a fake universe because his superiors were being nice to him. He flies planes and spaceships. He gets to hold a baby in one episode WHILE flying a spaceship. He likes living in Antarctica. He’s totally in love with the aforementioned CSO. He’s a jerk and a sweetheart. He has terrible terrible plans. He likes ferris wheels and things that go faster than 200 miles an hour.

✨ He’s John Sheppard from stargate atlantis! ✨

j

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn. Believe it or not, but I've thought of another pen name question that hasn't been asked. Before you explode, though (joke), it's not really a pen name question, more of a contract question. Anyway, I submitted to a small publisher via my pen name but also had my real name (with initials) on the manuscript. So they know my real name. But they've sent me back the contract with my pen name on it and refer to me as my pen name. Is this legal to have it on the contract? Should I add my real name to the contract before I sign it - and will initials do or does it have to be every name spelled out? E.g. let's say my penname is Loreen Sparklypants and my real name is Laura Sparkle or L.E. Sparkle. The publisher keeps saying Dear Loreen to me and put Loreen Sparklypants on the contract. Should I add L.E. Sparkle before that and put the pen name in brackets? Or do I need to add Laura Elaine Sparkle? Sorry for the confusing question. I could ask the publisher some of this but wanted to run it by you first. Thank you xx

The contract should have your legal name (like what's on your taxes or bank account).

SO: In the preamble of the contract it should say "this contract between so-and-so publisher and Laura Elaine Sparkle (writing as Loreen Sparklepants)" yadda yadda -- then the name under the sig should be Laura Elaine Sparkle and you sign your real signature.

Just tell them, hey, my legal name is Laura Elaine Sparkle, I think the contract should reflect that, can we change this? And they will fix it.

(FWIW, I don't think it really matters if you use your middle name, if you don't normally -- like, my bank accounts and whatnot are just Jennifer Laughran, I don't use my middle name in the normal course of business, so it's fine to not have my full name. But if it did have my full name, whatever, that'd be fine too. If you usually use Laura Sparkle or L.E. Sparkle, that's what's on your bank account, that's fine. The point of all this is, when they cut you a check or a 1099, it will be made out to YOU, a person who can deposit that check in a bank account of the same name and do their taxes with that 1099.)

(Meanwhile, if you prefer to be called Laura in normal correspondence, maybe tell them that, too! If you don't mind Dear Loreen, that's fine, but also, that's not your name so... your call on that one!)