#Day 1: Heal
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Okay I know I'm the most biased person about dadmare, but you can't honestly tell me that if Cross started to mention the way xgaster treated him and his brother as children - the way an adult bullied and belittled and abused them - that it wouldn't make Nightmare see red
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#Like the call is coming from inside the house again!!#Nightmare trying to be detached and collected to prove he doesn't have a familial attachment to his henchmen#And then he hears that Cross was treated badly by adults as a child and he's instantly like ''I'll kill him myself''#I just#Okay#Wick very nicely talked to me about Cross and dadmare yesterday and I'm still whipping it around like a dog with a new toy#LIKE I just think it could be a little healing for both of them#For Cross to get someone in an authoritative role who praises and appreciates him and refuses to treat him like that#And for Nightmare it must be at least a little rewarding to see someone who went through hell as a child and do everything you can to make#-them comfortable and tell them it wasn't their fault#Like I'm sure he still has stuff from his incident to process and maybe sharing it with Cross could do that#Obviously it's not 1 to 1 on what they went through but it might be similar enough to be cathartic#I don't know I just want to see them get along#I want Cross to have a father figure that would tear the multiverse in half to save him#I want Nightmare to learn to love and show it#I want 16 days off work in a row so I can lie in bed and go insane about this
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Maya Fey, courtesy of my left hand 💜 ...since my right hand is still being lazy.
#gyakuten saiban#ace attorney#maya fey#ayasato mayoi#fanart#periwinkla#tbh my left arm and shoulder hurt quite a bit after this and it was just 1 hour - so i had to stop#im not sure if it's bc it lacks the 'drawing muscles' or bc my body feels a bit like a wreak these days#maybe both#maya fey give me strength#can't wait for my right hand to heal so i can draw her properly
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you don’t know how much i was physically shaking when runaan was brought back, i was breathing hard and on the brink of tears MY RUNAAN I WAITED SIX YEARS FOR YOUR SAFE RETURN 🥹
#cuz season 1 came out in 2018 yeah?#my heart ached for him every day#his reunion with ethari will break my heart and heal it at the same time#the dragon prince#the dragon prince spoilers#tdp spoilers#tdp#tdp runaan#runaan#ruthari#tdp season 6#my post
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Yesssssss I'm told that I can come pick Tilly up whenever I want so I'm gonna shower and go get her in a couple hours
Apparently she sends her love, which I understand to mean she sends her complaints
#matilda#australian cattle dog#1 year#I'm so excited to get her#I'm so excited to get to heal up properly and let her rest and hopefully not have this fucking cat claw causing ouchies in her face anymore#the cat claw thing happened literally days after the only time I've ever seen her solicit play from a dog outside her household okay#just#I'm not glad it's been there this whole time#but I'm so glad we found it and definitely got it out now
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jean kevin and neil all being 19 when they officially leave the nest feels significant somehow
(kevin being 19 when he runs, jean being 19 when renee takes him, neil’s fake age being 19 when he leaves after christmas and his real age being 19 when he leaves after riko is shot and he’s officially pardoned by ichirou)
#19 is a happy number (in number theory meaning the sum of the square of each digit reaches 1 in a sequence)#fitting because they escaped#angel number 19 means that you should persevere and trust ur spirit guides are leading you to peace#in numerology it represents ‘an energy of expansion and a new life’#and it matches with the sun card in tarot because the digits add up to 10 and those digits add up to 1 which is the sun’s energy#the sun card itself represents hope optimism and good fortune - it generally means that the universe is aiding you in moving forward#and achieving your dreams#also indicates overall good health - which considering what all three went through prior to leaving and their mental struggles#it doesn’t quite fit#but it definitely seems age 19 for all of them offers them the road to healing eventually#and on that note - 19 is the sacred number of the goddess brigid who amongst other things was the goddess of healing and protection#also the metonic cycle is a 19 year period after which the lunar cycles occur on the same day - there’s a lot about cycles ending#and new - better - lives beginning in relation to the number 19#and of course it’s the last year before ur twenties#always something ending and something beginning#so yes i think age 19 is fitting for them all to be freed finally#aftg#neil josten#kevin day#jean moreau#chatting shit in the tags again!! couldn’t be me!!
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srry etsy update but :3
IF UR CONFUSED ABOUT ANYTHING PLS MSG ME ON HERE OR ON ETSY!!!! I PROMISE I DONT BITE JKDSHGAKJF
im aware that sometimes the way i explain/type can b confusig so like!!! hopefully this isnt confusoing!!!! but if it is im happy 2 try again :D
here r all the designs!!
wally got banished 2 the speed force
#1 DAY ILL ASK 4 WHAT DESIGNS PPL WOULD LIKE MORE OF!!!#like more characters but 4 now these r the sillies!#bc haha money limit grrr#ANWYUAYS HOPE THIS IS YUMMY ENOUGH#GOD DO I DARE TAG?????#\yeah ill tag y tf not#ALSO DONT COMMENT OR ASK y BERNARD HAS HOMOPHOBIC EYES OK#JUST DONT EVEN DIFKJASGFHJK#THERES A STORY#I SWEAR JUST#AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#anyways#konbart#bartkon#kart#wally west#dick grayson#kon el#bart allen#cassie sandsmark#tim drake#bernard dowd#thad thawne#koriand'r#donna troy#ALSO I RESTOCKED ON KEYCGHAINS SO IF ANY1 WAS WAITING ON THOSE.....THEYRE BACK! ajkshfkja#ok im doine typing hands hurt#askilhaaaaaaaaaa#fan merch = healing
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okay, so we all collectively went "oh thank fucking god" today, that the wdc battle is finally over??
#man i was so stressed#i'm so proud of them both oh my god#max verstappen#lando norris#max the goat u are#lando my baby#great day for us norstappen fans out here today#norstappen#i'm healed and i can finally sleep peacefully#formula 1#f1#2024 wdc#ln4#4wdc max#magic four i love them
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#dyou think if kirby wants to wear piercing jewelry he can just kind of schlorp them into wherever?#also fun fact number 1 I spent most of my day looking at earrings on claires#and fun fact number 2 I do not have any piercings#(or tattoos)#(I really hope to change that by the end of the year :T )#(yes I know to go to an actual proper parlor for piercing not claire's)#(I just like their vast array of tiny cutesy studs)#(for after they've fully healed so the material quality is less vital :v )
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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Back in July, I had a problem: I had finished Nona the Ninth and realised I had no idea when Alecto the Ninth would come out
I didn't feel like picking out a new novel to read every 10 days or so, so I decided I'd pick one very long book and hope it tided me over until a release date was given
So on the 19th of July 2024, I started reading Worm, and a bit over three months later, I read the final line of the final chapter on October 23rd
I have had many thoughts about this book while reading it, and since I haven't had access to the internet for the last two week, I've also had many thoughts after reading it, mainly thoughts where I was drafting this post (despite thinking about my draft for five days, now that I'm finally writing it, I can feel the whole thing fading from my mind)
TL;DR: I genuinely think the ending didn't happen
Yes, the whole "It was all a dream/purgatory" angle is very cliche, but it's a very common theory in the Worm fandom for a reason (one of those reasons being Wildbow jokingly saying Taylor's in purgatory)
For me, that reason is that Taylor is way too okay with the state of her life after Golden Morning
Throughout the book, Taylor has a consistent pattern of behaviour where she sees a problem or has a goal, decides on a means of realising that goal/fixing the problem, with anyone who attempts to get in her way being treated as part of the problem, allowing her to more easily justify using ever escalating acts of incredible violence to terrorise them into either helping her or getting out of her way
Taylor, by her own admission lives for conflict because for her things make the most sense when she has a very clear target to oppose and doesn't have to think past the near future because in the present the target is actively trying to kill her, and there are people who simply refuse to listen to her when she talks about ways to deal with the problem
Her, I dunno, ascension(?) to Khepri is just that pattern of behaviour taken to its logical extreme: the problems are Scion and people refusing to fight Scion or not working together, so she resolves the issue by resolving the issue of their free will and makes them fight in concert to bully Golden Space Jesus into killing himself
Despite the Speck arc being 174 pages of Taylor's brain being formatted by a fragment of an alien god as it remove any aspect of her personality that doesn't either facilitate acts of violence or think of new ways to commit acts of violence, Taylor has never been more herself than in that moment, hell, when she finishes scouring the multiverse for capes to turn into superpowered people puppets for her slave swarm and faces down the most powerful being to walk the earth as she realises she's beginning to forget where her mother's grave is, she stops to think about how nice it is that everyone is finally working together for once, just like she always wanted
The kind of person who does that to herself and others simply is not going to be able to adjust to civilian life, where she's going to continue to be exposed to the systemic failings that frustrated her into being Skitter in the first place only now without the tools or resources she used to effect change back on her Earth
At best, Interlude: End Taylor would be horribly depressed, and at worst feel like she's been placed in her own personal hell
For this reason, I genuinely think Contessa realised there was no coming back from what Taylor had become and decided to end her there, with the final interlude being a dying dream cooked up by her shard or something just before their connection was fatally severed, and honestly, I'm completely fine with that cause it feels like a natural conclusion for her arc, even if dream theories are always a bit contentious
#worm#wildbow#worm spoilers#taylor hebert#skitter#weaver#khepri#other details like it never being explained who healed her#and her dad suddenly being around despite him being absent and presumed dead up until that point#make me feel like this was something that was happening to help her make peace with herself in her final moments#anyway I really liked worm#likely won't read ward for a while though#decided to read a practical guide to evil first#been a surprisingly quick read#I finished book 1 in under three days
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Melotober - Day 6 - Garden
It's good to mix in a few flowers, as well. They're useful down in the clinic...
#Melotober#In which I happily gesture to Ray. My fella. My friend. A sweetie. If Ray has no fans it means I am dead#Rune Factory#Rune Factory 2#RF2#Rune Factory Aaron#RF Aaron#Rune Factory Ray#RF Ray#Watching a rf2 stream has helped me remember just how MUCH I always liked this guy. Protect at all costs#Of course he'd encourage the kiddos to grow some of the different flowers. Imagine if he could help teach you healing potions or formulas#And I am trying to give Aaron some solo stuff to show him love too#Also I've gotten SOME sleep as of yesterday finally#Gonna try to get my 1 day buffer back#tomorrow was a planned Background Heavy Day#also I drew this SO small and finished the lineart before I realized. Ah well. Tiny day#Margot's RF Art
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I NEED the Krew to actually TALK about what happened in episode 46. (Spoilers under the cut)
And I don’t mean them mentioning that it happened but “it’s all fine now because they’re alive!” Because I imagine that shit scarred all of them, one way or another. Frost especially.
I don’t care HOW the conversation happens, but it does need to happen. They each need to have that closure, rather than letting those thoughts and feelings swirl in their minds for all eternity. And I don’t just mean in fanfic or whatever. No, it needs to happen sometime in canon, when they have a moment to talk about it in-depth (so probably post-canon, all things considered).
I just…I need Frost to tell them how it felt, watching as all his friends fall around him, and how he couldn’t do anything. I imagine he still gets nightmares about it, especially for the first few nights after the fact, and I imagine he wakes up from those nightmares and probably goes and cuddles up next to Gricko (after making sure he’s breathing. Even if, logically, Frost KNOWS that Gricko is alive and breathing—he’s snoring, shifting around, whatever—he still needs to check. Just in case), as if to confirm to himself that, yes, they’re here. Theyre alive. He’s not alone.
I need Torbek to talk about how he feels like he’s not good enough in battle. How he kicks himself for not being able to control the Witchlight better, for not being able to bring out the Other. Because maybe, just maybe, if he was somehow able to bring out the Other in that fight, maybe they would’ve had a chance (they still wouldn’t, it would still end the same, and Torbek knows it deep down, but he kicks himself all the same)
I need Gricko to lament about how he thinks he’s not a good enough healer. He’s supposed to keep his friends from dying, and he couldn’t even do that right. Maybe if he had gotten to Gideon sooner, maybe if he had realized that Gideon was already long gone before he pumped his last spell slot into him. How he regrets that Hootsie wasn’t spared. Maybe if he had told her to run sooner, faster, maybe, just maybe, she would’ve made it out alive. Maybe. Or, at the very least, he wouldn’t have had to hear her yelps right before he fell unconscious himself. He’s supposed to be her father, he’s supposed to protect her. But he didn’t. Couldn’t. Just like he couldn’t protect his friends.
I need Kremy to tell Gideon how it felt to watch his best friend, his husband, get ripped apart before his very eyes, and being unable to stop it. Unable to help in any way. How he couldn’t imagine ever living in a world without Gid. After all, what’s the point of living when your reason for waking up each day is long gone? Someone else could pay his debt, surely.
I want Gideon to lament about just how useless he feels. With the mixture of being unable to help Twig in episode 41, turning into a stupid useless dancing mushroom (where he was the slowest because he traded the rhythm in his step away, and his friends had to help push him along), losing some of his fire (sure, he gained it back, but for several hours he felt colder. Weaker.), and then being the first one down during the Jabberwock fight? He’s supposed to be the strong one, the fighter, yet time and time again his friends are the ones protecting him. Keeping him alive while he keeps throwing himself into danger. He could’ve killed the Jabberwock, surely. With the help of Torbek, sure, but it would’ve died! It just got the jump on him, is all.
I just…I need them to talk, when they get the chance to. They deserve that much. To reassure themselves and their friends that everything is okay. They’re alive, and they’re not going to just abandon each other. Not again. Even if they feel weak, or useless, or like they could be so much more if they were just better. They all know now what it feels like to lose their family, their best friend, the love of their life, their everything. And I don’t think they’ll ever let themselves or each other experience that again. Not for a very long time, at least.
#I know this is really long sorry#I just really need them to talk about it okay!?#ESPECIALLY Frost Torbek and Gricko#Kremy and Gideon sure but Frost and the goblinoids I feel were affected the most#and I know Gricko’s thing might seem like I pulled it out of thin air#but Gricko has expressed that he doesn’t think his healing magic is very good#yeah it was at the end of episode 1#but in universe that was only a handful of days ago#and I feel like I’m right on the money with Torbek and Gideon#I mean. Torbek has expressed that he doesn’t feel like he’s as good at fighting as Gideon is#and he was crying and BEGGING the Other to come out as he watched his friends fall around him#and I imagine Gideon has a lot of pent-up issues with his own strength and abilities after the past 20 or so episodes#because while his abilities and strength technically hasn’t changed#what has changed was the world around him. and how his friends are having to save his ass more and more#okay I’ll shut up now sorry#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris
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I think it's fun that different characters give a different time period for how long Rook was in the Fade Prison. Both because everyone's perception of time is different (and gets weird when you add grief to the mix) and because it means we can headcanon how long it took each specific Rook to get out of there based on how well we think they'd have managed their regrets
#Reblog with how long you think your Rook was stuck in the Fade Prison lol#I think Asha is getting out Fast because she is both logical and emotionally intelligent. She's the one in there for just a few days#maybe a week; just because the Fade is confusing#Whereas Cassia is taking at least the first week just to get up the will to even try. It takes her at least a month to get through this.#My girl has Regrets™#And she has a lifetime of practice running from feeling them that she has to overcome#Veilguard spoilers#Cassia Mercar#Asha de Riva#It would be pretty hard for Lyric too. She's so used to hiding behind masks that it's hard for her to be real even when she's alone.#but it's also hard to perform without an audience. It takes her a while to even figure out how to respond. I'll say 2-3 weeks#Valrun probably takes a bit to just get their bearings so I'm going to give them 1 week#When Val does finally face things though they have an easier time of it than Cassia. Working through their regrets is healing for Valrun.#It feels like torture for Cassia.#Lyric de Riva#Valrun Ingellvar
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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.
do you see my vision?
#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying#“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME#neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry#i need them to be friends#i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand#i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences#and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them#and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set#and make them their own#they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life#the mcs ever#at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker#and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating#the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people#the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise#cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away#kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self#anyway i'm going insane how yall doing#neil josten#jean moreau#all for the game#the sunshine court
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"On new year's day
the whole wide world celebrates the fact that a date changes.
Let's hope, one fine day we celebrate the date on which we change the world.”
U.N. Owen.
#thought of the day#thought of today#new years day#2024#1/1 2024#happy new year#celebration#a new date#our world today#hope#change the world#heal the world#make a change#make a difference#think about it#you matter
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i was somehow born to the two most freakishly self-disciplined people on this planet earth who seem to have no clue that they are the outliers. unfortunately what this means for me is that whenever i am not freakishly self-disciplined they act as if i have failed spectacularly instead of behaving like a normal human being
#boycritter et al#they both get up at 4:30 am everyday and then work out everyday and then run their business#for which they are the sole two workers and completely set their own hours and dictate their own responsibilities#and stay completely organized and clean and eat healthy and perform every hygiene task they need to do every single day#LIKE IM NOT JOKING. EVERY SINGLE DAY.#my dads daily schedule is like. 4-530 am work out. 6-9am work. 9 am make breakfast then work until noon while eating#actually no he walks the dogs at 11#lunch break from 1230 - 1 pm. (has a salad) then back to work. make protein smoothie w rice cakes (in the smoothie) at 430 pm.#(have smoothie while working)#work until 6pm then start making dinner. 630-7 dinner.#7-8 back to work. 8-9 tv. 9-10pm back to work usually or sometimes watch tv#10 pm he goes to sleep#oh also he has a standing desk he doesnt sit down while he works.#my mom ate NOTHING but boiled vegetables for 3 months to 'heal her gut microbiome'#like im not exaggerating they are INTENSE
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