#David was so fucking creepy the entire time

[ariacherie]

Ok so that scene of Ellie obliterating David while screaming with the fire in the background is definitely going to be the next female rage scene that circulates on here, isn’t it?

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: the evil fungi did it

We all know of The Last of Us, but that franchise isn't the only example of fungal invasions. We've got zombies and apocalypses, we've got gothic horror, we've got fantasy, we've got romance, we've got space - no genre is safe from having their characters become the home of fungal organisms.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

The Girl with all the Gifts (The Girl with All the Gifts series) by M.R. Carey

Want another fungal zombie apocalypse? Then I come bearing great news! The Girl with All the Gifts is a post apocalyptic novel following a group of characters fleeing across an infested wasteland, trying to stay alive and hoping to find a cure. One of the characters is Melanie, a young girl who carries the contagion inside of her and hungers for flesh, but like many children of the apocalypse has kept her humanity. Is she and children like her the answer to the cure we are looking for? Or are they the start of something entirely new? This book has also been adapted as a movie!

Cold Storage by David Koepp*

Years ago, a quickly growing fungal organism capable of wiping out humanity came dangerously close to spreading. It was contained and kept in cold storage underneath a military repository. Since then, a larger storage facility has been built on top, the dangers on the lower floor being largely forgotten. That is, until it makes a new attempt at escape. Now, two unsuspecting security guards might be all that stands in the way of complete extermination. This book is both funny and genuine in its characters, and genuinely creepy in its portrayal of body horror.

Salvaged by Madeline Roux

Rosalyn Devar is on the run from her famous family, and has run so far she ended up in space. Now she works as a "space janitor", being sent off to clean up the remains of failed research expeditions. But in trying to cope with her problems, she has fucked up on her job multiple times, and is now close to losing her position. Her last chance is the Brigantine: a research vessel gone silent, all crew presumed dead. But when she arrives to salvage it, Rosalyn discovers the crew isn't as dead as presumed. But are they still human - and will Rosalyn be able to keep her own humanity?

The Annual Migration of Clouds by Premee Mohamed

Novella. Reid is a young woman living in a small community after a climate collapse. Resources are scarce, but Reid's biggest problem is Cad, a mind-altering fungal parasite that lives inside her body. When she is offered a rare chance at attending a far-away university in a secluded dome community, Reid must decide whether to leave or stay to help support her community.

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia*

Noemí Taboada is a glamorous and well-off young woman, but when she receives a frantic letter from her newly-wed cousin, Noemí must leave her glamorous life and travel to find out what is wrong. As she arrives at High Place, a mansion on the Mexican countryside, Noemí is met with mysteries and her cousin's new English family. As she tries to find out the truth behind High Place and its inhabitants, Noemí's only ally is the youngest son of the family. But will she be able to find out what so scared her cousin before it's too late for all of them?

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

A young pregnant woman flees a cult that left her body strange and changing in terrifying ways. Hiding from both a world wanting to oppress her and the cult seeking to force her back, she does her best to raise her children while trying to find out the truth of the cult and being pursued by a hunter in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Bleak and scary, Sorrowland is a book that will creep under your skin with horrors both fantastical and very, very real.

What Moves the Dead (Sworn Soldier duology) by T. Kingfisher

Novella. Alex Easton, retired soldier, travels to visit their childhood friends, siblings Madeline and Roderick Usher, after finding out that Madeline is dying. In the siblings' rural, ancestral home, Madeline walks in her sleep and looks to be fading away, while around it wildlife seems to be possessed by a strange force. With the help of a mycologist and an American doctor, Alex attempts to save Madeline and reveal the truth of her illness.

Wanderers (Wanderers duology) by Chuck Wendig

A strange illness has struck the United States: with no warning, random people with seemingly no connection simply get up and start walking. They do not eat, do not sleep, do not communicate, and they do not stop - and if you try to force them, they literally explode from the inside. Teenaged Shana isn't one of these sleepwalkers, but her little sister is. Unwilling to leave her sister on her own, Shana accompanies the growing flock of walkers, protecting them as one of many "shepherds". And this protection proves necessary, as the sleepwalkers is only the first step toward what might very well be the extinction of the human race. An 800 page epic, Wanderers is a slowburn apocalypse story with a multitude pov characters and plot threads, from fungal pandemics and all-knowing AI to the all too real portrayal of radicalization and bigotry.

The Dawnhounds (The Endsong series) by Sascha Stronach

The Dawnhounds is a book where you just kind of have to let the story and the world wash over you. It skirts the line of scifi and fantasy, with a futuristic world of environmentally friendly mushroom houses and deadly fungi bio weapons next to literally god-given superpowers and near-immortality. It’s really cool and unlike anything else I’ve ever read, but also a bit confusing. Bonus: it’s also sapphic!

Agents of Dreamland (Tinfoil Dossier trilogy) by Caitlín R. Kiernan

Novella. A government agent known only as the Signalman; a cult preying on the young and vulnerable, promising to usher in a new age; a woman who exists outside of time, searching for a way to save humanity. Agents of Dreamland is short, but includes many spooky elements, among them an alien and possibly world-ending fungi. The narrative is non-linear and a bit strange, but also fascinating.

The Genius Plague by David Walton

Soon after landing his dream job at the NSA, things get weird for Neil Johns. His brother Paul, a mycologist, returns from a trip to the Amazon, carrying a nearly lethal fungal infection and a strangely sharpened mind. At work, Neil starts picking up mysterious messages originating out of South America, where cases similar to that of Paul starts occurring. And strangest of all: all the infected seem to be working towards the same goal. Recommended with the caveat that, while the fungal stuff is really cool, The Genius Plague is also happy to idolize American intelligent agencies and demonize environmentalism and anti-imperialism.

Little Mushroom: Judgement Day (Little Mushroom duology) by Shisi

An Zhe isn’t human. He’s a mushroom who absorbed the DNA of a dying man, allowing him to take on human guise and leave the wilderness. Entering one of the last human bases, a place struggling to keep out the mutated and dangerous creatures of the wilds, An Zhe must keep his identity secret as he searches for something which was taken from him. While not my cup of tea (frankly, I need more female characters), Little Mushroom is an undeniably unique m/m romance novel.

Bonus AKA these don't technically involve any fungi but have similar vibes of parasites and nature corrupting the human

Parasite (Parasitology trilogy) by Mira Grant*

In the near future, a great leap in medical science has improved human health by leaps and bounds: a genetically engineered tape worm. Within a few years, almost every human has their own personal parasite implanted. But now, something is happening to the parasites - they want more, whether their hosts want to share or not.

Annihilation (Southern Reach trilogy) by Jeff Vandermeer

For decades, Area X has been completely cut off from humanity. The only ones to enter are small organized expeditions, many of which never return, or return... wrong. We follow the latest expedition, its participants known only as the anthropologist, the psychologist, the surveyor, and our narrator, the biologist. As they enter into Area X to try to find out its secrets, only one thing is for sure: they will never be the same again.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Young adult. Over a year ago, the Raxter School for Girls was hit by the Tox, a strange disease that killed off many and left the survivors' bodies slowly changing in terrifying ways. The island the school is on has been in quarantine since then, and the girls dare not leave the school grounds lest they become victims of wild animals changed by the Tox. But as they wait for the promised cure, one of the girls goes missing, and her friends are willing to do anything to find her. Unsettling, spooky, and sapphic, this is a unique read featuring body horror and messy, dangerous girls.

(Second) Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

City of Saints and Madmen (Ambergris trilogy) by Jeff Vandermeer

Ambergris, a city created by a mushroom-like people, is now the home of humans, but the original inhabitants are still there, residing beneath the city.

Creatures of Want and Ruin (Diabolist's Library series) by Molly Tanzer

It’s the prohibition era, and while Ellie does fishing during the day, at night she bootlegs moonshine in Long Island. But unbeknownst to Ellie, some of the booze she smuggles has a strange source: distilled from mushrooms by a cult, it causes those who drink it to see terrible things, such as the the destruction of Long Island.

Bloom by Wil McCarthy

The inner solar system has been overtaken by fast-reproducing, fast-mutating technogenic life. Humanity has fled to the outer solar system, hiding beneath the ice of Jupiter's moon, but even here they aren't safe from possible incursion of mycospores, which lead to deadly blooms. Now a group of astronauts venture back to an infected Earth.

[mozzzz05]

I hate to bitch but… I’m going to:

There was just? So much wrong this season and not even because I wasn’t a fan of the ending - in fact, I quite liked that they were 8 little marigolds together - but the rest of it!?

There’s at least three plot lines that added fuck all to the story - and I’m all for fluffing out the stories/characters, love me a filler episode - but not only did we not have time for a filler episode with 4 less episodes than usual those plot lines added nothing to the characters or the story or anything really.

Klaus getting kidnapped (again), no one noticing (again) - getting possessed & having sex, getting buried alive (again, if ykyk) apart from Alison going to save him - what did it add? - I love Klaus he’s literally my favourite character, I always want more Klaus but it kind of feels like they didn’t know what to do with him? - “let’s make him relapse and do some crazy stuff, for shits and giggles!”

Diego & Luther going to the CIA - this is the one I see the most sense in of course, but apart from making Diego realise that he shouldn’t take Lila and his kids for granted and announcing that the CIA guy was part of the whole Jean & Gene cult thing (and getting to see David Castañeda’s abs (despite supposedly having a Dad Bod now?)) it kind of went on too long? It felt like it was slightly misplaced? Idk

And of course, how could it go unmentioned - the Five/Lila romance? whAT THE FUCK!??? Like it’s creepy both ways bcos Ritu Arya is 15 years older than Aidan Gallagher - freshly legal - and because Five is nearly 70 at that point? And that’s without even mentioning the fact that, oh yeah - Lila’s married to his BROTHER? But if you took it out - what would change? Genuinely? That Lila will always choose her family? Choose Diego? Tbh she could easily come to that conclusion without any romance, she clearly longed to go back more than Five did (who btw, abandoned his family after spending his entire life trying to save them - WHAT?)

The only one making any progress was Viktor

And so many things left unexplained- why did Ray leave Alison? What happened to Dave? (Guessing he’s long dead now but we still don’t know if Klaus’ s2 plan had any effect & the only hint of him we got this season was the dog tags (more than last season at least)) Why is Reggie a fucking alien? How did he get to earth??

I just feel so unpleasantly underwhelmed for a show that has meant so much to me the past few years, for an ending that was mildly disappointing but not as much as the 4 episodes that came before it.

[penvisions]

return the favor {chapter 23}

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller X Smuggler! Reader

Summary: You can only hope to catch up with Joel and Ellie before it's too late, the warning words of your cousins on your mind as you encounter a group of people at the campus yourself. Your trio is reunited in the worst of circumstances, altering the very perception Ellie has of the world.

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: minor character death, canon typical violence, canon typical language, cursing, insult, sexual content, non con, allusions to non con sexual advances, mentions of nausea but no vomiting, fighting, blood, reader gets injured, ellie gets injured, joel gets injured, guns, gun violence, creepy david gets his own warning, religious imagery, allusions to cannibalism, end of the world politics, end of the world rhetoric, allusions to pedophilia and grooming (bc of david), please let me know if i missed any!

A/N: well hello there, this was unexpected but procrastinating packing has led me here and who am i to argue? i hope this isn't too heavy of a chapter, but it sets up the remainder of the fic and we will see the end of it within 5-7 chapters. i've missed this little trio and their dynamic, even if it seems like i've wronged them in this latest installment

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

You groaned out, your entire chest aching and sore. Sunlight too bright on your eyes and causing the throbbing in your head to amp up a notch. It felt like you had fallen or been thrown around. Entire body blooming with sensitive spots tender to pressure.

“Fuck.”

The ground was cold beneath you, hard and solid. Wind howled faintly but you had to be inside because you couldn’t feel it jostling your body. When you moved to push yourself up, your arms flexed against something tight around them. Blinking your eyes open, the only thing you could see was a barred fence and the brick wall behind it. There was a buzzing sound that seemed to consume the air around you, not helping the throbbing in your head.

You blinked a few times, coming back into your body and the buzzing sound suddenly shifted into a familiar voice.

“Bean, please wake up. You need to wake up, they’ll be back any minute.” It was Ellie, her voice a little raspy and her words far too fast to process as you shifted into a seated position. Your hands were bound around the wrists, rope tight and knotted around them. It wasn’t an official knot, but just a tangled mess of tied off twists that had been pulled on so much the fibers dug into your skin.

“What happened…?” Your head rolls on your shoulders, feeling out the kinks and knots in your muscles that would take years to work out. Fuck, you were getting old. But the clatter of something Ellie was doing had you up on your feet in a heartbeat, eyes wide and searching. She had been trying to use a bucket to get up into the window, to see out of it where it was high on the brick wall that backed up your separate cells. It had fallen with her weight on top of it, too much for how empty it was, the side of it dented in and she was standing beside it with a sheepish grimace.

“They attacked us, they hurt Joel. I-I-I tried to remember what you taught me about stitching but I couldn’t focus and they got cut one of our bags, the stuff you packed up fell out when I was trying to get us away.”

“Who…who attacked you?” You brought your tied hands up to your mouth and dug them into the rope, it tasted of dirt but you tried not to think of what else could be soaked into the fabric as you tore into it as best you could.

“Some guy named David, he found me when I was hunting. Joel needed something to eat, he’s not….Bean, he doesn’t look good.” You looked up through your hunched over position to see the shine of her eyes, the way she was trying to keep everything in check. But she was so young, kidnapped, stolen away from the one person who she had left in the world while you….while you had just gone off on your own.

Guilt flared and burned hot in your body, making you feel shameful and like you had caused all of this to happen. She seemed to sense it.

“They would’ve attacked either way, back at the school campus. They had been looking for people, they go there a lot, at least that’s what it seemed like.”

“You said you had to stitch him up, how bad was it? All I saw was a bat on broken in half.”

“You were there?”

“I was tracing your last known steps, I- I ran into my family and they told me they had been here but that it wasn’t…it wasn’t what it was promised to be. I’ll explain later. Ellie, tell me that they haven’t touched you, please.”

“No one’s…touched me, well they did when they tried to corner me and when they carried me here. But that David guy gives me the creeps.”

The way she was speaking, you weren’t sure she was understanding what you were saying. Which was both comforting that it was such an unfathomable thought in her mind, no real weight to the phrase of the words. But it was also damning in the way she really had no idea what you were talking about, her innocence and gullibility on the matter something you thought telling of her age and life thus far. But she had to know, she needed to be aware of the way people would take everything from one another, even if it would be a hard conversation to have, a hard pane of glass to shatter in her perception of the world she was now in the midst of outside the QZ walls.

“Don’t let him get you alone, you hear me? Do not let him touch you. He is a bad, terrible man. He’s a fucking-“

Ellie said your real name, the one printed neatly on your old license she had been so fascinated with.

“I think Joel is dying. I…I tried to trade with David, for some medicine, but when his guy came back with it they cornered me and said they were looking for the man who killed someone from their group back on the campus, that he had been traveling with a girl. They knew it was me, that it was us. He’s…Joel… he’s- he won’t wake up. I tried to do it how your showed me and I didn’t know where to put the medicine but I tried, he…he hasn’t woken up yet.”

“You’re okay, Ellie, I promise. You did,” You walk up to the fence separating you from each other, sticking your fingers through the gaps to get her to grasp as your hands. You were thankful she wasn’t tied up as you were but it also made your heart weary because it meant that this David was still trying to keep her guard down. “Everything you could. That medicine, even if it was put in the wrong spot, is what saved his life, he’s not waking up because it’s strong, it was penicillin, yeah?”

“Y-yeah. I think that’s what they called it.”

“That’s perfect, Ellie. That’s exactly what he needed. It’s a strong one, it’s in his system and he’s going to be okay. You stitched him up, you can lord that over him if you want once he’s better. Everything is going…everything it going to be okay.”

You could tell she wasn’t completely believing of your words but she was taking them, her furrowed brow relaxed just a bit and her fingers tangled with your own. She rested her forehead, swollen with a gash across the left side against the fence and you mimicked her.

“I was so scared.” She admitted on a quiet breath.

“I know, baby, but it’s okay. You did it, you got through the scary moment. Now all that’s left is to get out of here and back to Joel. He’s hidden somewhere, yeah? You made sure he was safe and inside somewhere?”

“Yeah, yes, he’s,” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know how far it is, but he’s in a house, I dragged him to the basement and made sure he had all the sleeping bags and blankets on him, he…he looked so helpless. Bean, he looked-“

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I promise you, it’s all gonna be okay. He’s strong, he can-“

“He’s so stupid! You both are! None of this would have happened if you two hadn’t fought and just- we would’ve been together and those guys wouldn’t have gotten us if you two had fought them off!”

“I know, baby, I’m sorry. We- we didn’t, we…needed some space. Joel, he-“

“He’s a fucking baby! He’s…he’s dying and he…he won’t even get to see you one last time.”

“Hey!” You couldn’t help the sharp tone nor the volume of your shout. “Ellie, you look at me and you listen.”

She does, her eyes wide and shining as she takes in the sight of you tied up and confined just like she is.

The situation is anything but ideal, it’s heartbreaking and too heavy on your shoulders. But at least you were with her now, she had help now. She wasn’t alone.

“Joel is not going to die. You got him the medicine he needed. It takes time. You and I are going to get out of this situation, we will. And then we will find him. We are going to be okay, it was a lesson that needed to be learned and it will stick. You need to understand that things happen for a reason. This is one of those times and no one is at fault.”

She nods, once and then again before she’s moving about her enclosure and explaining to you the ways she’s tried to find weaknesses in it. No screws were loose, no bars were rusted or weak. The window was too high, the fence too strong. You’re watching her as you tear at the rope once again with your teeth, the sound of it tearing quiet and rattling through you each time a thread snapped.

Ellie’s body is suddenly flying to the chain link barrier that separates you, her breathing harsh.

“Ear.”

“Ear?”

“On the floor, by the drain.”

“What- oh.” You feel your stomach lurch when you spot it, the cut off cartilage laying beside a drain surrounded by thick drops of dried blood.

“They-“

“They’re monsters.”

The door was opening before you could say anything else. The evidence of how these people lived, of how David provided for his people telling you how depraved and desperate they were. How he chose to feed his people when there was ample woods and forest to hunt in just beyond the cluster of buildings they reside in, the houses only a short trek nearby they could scavenge in.

He wasn’t what you pictured, but he was exuding predatory energy as he approached the chain link fencing of the enclosure. Rather thin and with waning fair hair, he knelt down to slide a tray adorned with a bowl of something far too bright red, a spoon, and a mug of water. You sincerely hope Ellie hadn’t taken anything offered to her, not putting it past the man to drug her. But she remains as close to you as she can get, hand reaching for yours through the fence.

“I don’t have enough for you both. But I assume you wouldn’t care for anything I offered.” David aims at you, eyes trained on the way Ellie is clinging to you as best she can. How she’s still as a statue and her own eyes are trained on the food given to her.

You don’t say anything, unsure of what you would even if your voice came back to you. The rope still wrapped but no longer knotted around your wrists allows you to feel powerful if only a little.

Ellie looks from the food finally, toward the ear and David follows her gaze as he remains kneeled on the ground. He seems almost remorseful at the discovery you two had made in his absence and you wonder if his people knew the truth about the food they were consuming. A part of you hoped they had no clue, even if it meant David felt no fear or shame about manipulating those who willingly followed him to the very edge of humanity.

“For what it’s worth, this is just deer meat. I swear.” He tries to hide his monstrosity, to no avail. You wouldn’t believe him even if you didn’t know him, even if you were starving.

“You’re going to chop me up into little pieces. Both of us.”

“I’d rather not,” He keeps her gaze, not even bothering to acknowledge your presence in the face of Ellie’s fear. He’s feeding off it, reveling in the way she’s speaking willingly for what you believe the first time since he turned on her in the woods and she ran from him. “Please, just tell me your name.”

“If you wanna judge me-“

“Judge you?” She’s shouting, her voice harsh as she lets go of your hand and storms up to the door of her enclosure, far too close to the man for your comfort. But she kicks at the tray, sending it flying across the floor and knocking into the large butchers block atop a storage table cemented into the ground, the too red meat splashes color onto the dull tile. “You’re eating people, you sick fuck!”

David is surging up, though every move he’s making is calculated. He doesn’t look shocked or surprised, not taken aback by the words or actions of Ellie as she turns her back on him and corners herself as far away from the door as possible.

“Yes. There are only a few of us that know.” “But I would’ve told you.”

He’s watching you now, just past her. Calculating as he takes in the way your body is practically shaking as instincts warn you to get as far away from this man and this place as possible.

“I would’ve told you and your mother. Sooner or later. I guess sooner, to help tide you into our group.”

“You’re an animal.”

“Well, yes, we all are. That’s sorta the point.” David agrees, not wanting to dispute her, trying to earn her favor by being frank.

“It was a last resort. You think it doesn’t shame me? But what was I supposed to do?”

“I would not let these people starve. These people who put their lives in my hands, who e-expect me to keep them safe, who love me?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Ellie replies quickly, her emotions beginning to get the better of her. But you meet the man’s gaze and sneer opening at him.

“There are woods just beyond here, houses and neighborhoods to scavenge. You have men, could they not provide in a better way? No, I suppose not, because you’re weak. Helpless in the face of the world, of the way things are. You’d rather tear people down and prey on them instead of think critically, you’re nothing but a weak leader, guiding your people to their death.”

“Starvation would’ve only set in sooner if I were to concentrate efforts on such fruitless endeavors. I don’t think you believe it would’ve been better. I don’t think your friend would either.” He’s moving, mirroring Ellie’s pacing as he looks down at the food she’s wasted. “Didn’t he take another man’s life to save yours?”

“He was defending himself.”

“He was defending you.” He meets her steps as she stops, standing right in front of her with nothing but the bars and air separating them, and you feel every muscle in your body tense. “But you knew that.”

“You see a lot. So do I. And you know what I see when I look at you? Me.” His smile is small but he truly believes the words he’s spouting, the intent behind them clear. He means to take her under his wing, to mold her into a reflection of himself. Manipulate her into an image of his likeness. “You remind me of me. You’re a natural leader, you’re smart…loyal.”

“Violent.” He concludes, seeing the was she’s trembling with emotion.  

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“But I do. If I let you out of that cage right now, put that knife of yours in your hand, you’d stick me in a second. And you wouldn’t look to the woman behind you, you would do it without a thought. You have a violent heart. And I should know.” He stalks closer, his steps quiet and measured. “I’ve always had a violent heart. And I struggled with it for a long time.”

Your blood runs cold, the words flowing from the man chilling your very soul. He was depraved, he was sick as he tried to appeal to Ellie, to connect with her. His words revealing in more ways than he realized, than Ellie was able to read. You were sure she had no clue what he was doing, not exactly. Not aware of the way he was seeking her out and it made your heart ache even more so as you watched it happen in real time, the dance he orchestrates to get those he’s interested in to see him, to hear him. To fall in line and dance with him.

“But then the world ended and I was shown the truth.”

“Right…by God.” Ellie dubiously connects the dots of the man’s speech. But he’s not making much sense to her, you can tell. The message is loud and clear to you. He’s been inspired, taken the world as it fell and turned it into his own playground of sorts. You’ve encountered men like him before, set to play God and manipulate the conditions around them to their favor. The shepherd to lead sheep blindly as they need something to cling to. Something to believe in. But he’s a false prophet, one that is selfish and wasteful, no skills of his own to fall on so he uses those around him to his advantage, to propel himself into the next day, time and time again.

“No. By cordyceps.” He sounds reverent, praising and preaching the very thing that eradicated humanity in droves. Sounding so much like those that used to deliver sermons and dictate what sins the people before him had committed, promising them salvation when he was the one to damn them in the first place with perceived power he did not truly possess. “What does cordyceps do? Is it evil? No. It’s fruitful. It multiplies. It feeds and protects its children, and it secures its future with violence, if it must. It loves.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you can handle it. The way the others can’t.” He stalks even closer. More measured steps, as calculated at his words. “They need God. They need heaven. They need…they need a father. You don’t.”

The room is silent, his focus not leaving her even as you shift on your aching feet.

“You don’t. You’re beyond that.” He repeats, appealing to her. Admonishing her with praise and tenacity for being ‘better’ than those he believes he needs to look out for and is responsible for. “I’m a shepherd surrounded by sheep, and all I want…is an equal. A friend.”

“What about my friend?” Ellie demands, Joel on her mind as the man in front of her displays the complete opposite of everything he stands for. It makes her wish for him to be here, to be better, to beat the threat into submission as it closes in on her. But he’s not here, it’s just her and him. You are too trapped to help in your own cell.

“Like I said, loyal. I can tell the others to stop looking for him. They’ll spare him.”

“Really? They’ll just let him go?” She’s matching his steps now and your stomach plummets.

“Yes. If he leaves us in peace, they will just let him go. The woman behind you too, should she leave peacefully as well. They do what I tell them to do. They follow me.”

“And they would follow us. Lord knows I could use the help. I- Look what’s happened.” He reaches out and places a hand on the bars of the door, causing you to step forward as far as you can into the fence that separates you from Ellie. The target the man has set his sights on. “Think of what we could do together, as strong as we are. We’d make this place perfect. We’d grow, spread out. And we’d do whatever we needed for our people.”

Ellie’s reaching to touch a hand of her own to his and you feel something in you snap, you didn’t know what she was thinking, what she was doing and it was heartbreaking to see her move toward the man manipulating her. Playing her, dancing so eloquently around her and ensnaring her in his orbit. If only she would fucking look back at you over her shoulder. His hand moves to rest over hers and you feel the cold touch of his fingers as if he had touched you instead of her. The chilling skin of someone who had done this before, who was doing it again. Heeding the example of the very thing that had ruined the world as if it was something to admire. “Imagine the life we could give them. Imagine the life we could build.”

“Oh.” Her voice is so small, so quiet. And you feel acid bubble and rise to your throat as she brings her other hand to rest over his, cradling his hand almost.

And then her shoulders tense and she’s snapping his fingers, the loud cracking of bone filling the air as the man wails out, crumbles at the assault.

Ellie makes a grab for the keys hanging from his belt, but he snatches the front of her sweater and pulls her harshly into the bars. Her head collides with one and she’s reeling back before he has the chance to tighten his grip on her again, tearing out of it.

“You little cunt.” He swears, cradling his wounded hand tight to his chest. Anger colors him, shakes him to his core as he realizes the task he set for himself won’t be as easy as he anticipated. “Let’s see what I go tell the others now.”

“Ellie.”

“What?” Turning, he seems taken aback by the quiet admittance from the young girl. As if he isn’t quite sure he heard her correctly or he could believe that she chose now of all times to answer his questions.

“Tell them that Ellie is the little girl- who broke your fucking finger!” She shouts so loudly that she shakes with it, the words nearly growled out.

“How did you put it? Hmm? ‘Tiny little pieces’?” He taunts, though you can see the fear shift into a twisted sense of admiration. Frustration at being bested turning into confidence in her skills and the desire to best her glimmering in his eye before he turns away completely.

As soon as the door slams behind him and the lock clicks, she’s rushing across her enclosed space and reaching for you. She’s hiccupping and coughing as blood drips down her nose and busted lip, smearing it all over your own sweater as you try to hold her to you as best you could through the divide.

The door opens once again, some time later but it’s not David that enters. It’s two men with a third behind them. The lock of your cell clicks loudly as they open in and step inside, two of them while the third remains by the door.

The two men who were approaching you with a needle had you standing so fast your knees cracked. In her own cage, Ellie flew up to stand from her own crouch as close as she could get to you. She watched as you stood as straight at you could, to make yourself look as tall as possible and she mirrored it. The two men worked together to lock the slim opening behind them, keys going into a front pocket. There was rope in one of their hands, the other with the needle.

“We got you cornered, don’t know why David was insistent on locking you up, you’re no bigger than the girl. Look about as frail as her too.”

“Pretty little thing, aren’t ya? Wouldn’t mind giving you the promise of safety here if it meant-“

“Enough, do not taunt her. She’s liable to be just as violent as the man.”

David appeared in the doorway of the space, watching with a newly bandaged hand. You couldn’t help the feeling of pride that swelled in your middle at that. Ellie had done good, even if it had been hard to watch. Hard to watch and hear as he propositioned her. You had been in too much pain to do much about it, but it had allowed you to see what he was truly wanting with the young girl you considered family. The same he had wanted from your younger cousin. He was a sick, twisted man. Vile in the worst way one could be.

“You think I’m trapped in here with you?” You clicked your tongue at them, bringing your arms up to fend them off should they take one step closer to you, revealing that you had gotten out of your bindings. Your smile was wicked as you stared at them both, daring them to close the gap. “You’re trapped in here with me.”

You tried to focus on the man helping David drag the young girl from her own cage and the two coming at you, but it was all chaos. Loud, screaming, threatening and chilling chaos. They lunged at you, throwing the blanket they had in their grip over you and then you found yourself being hauled up by your thrashing hands and feet, each man holding tight to your body as they carried you out of the room.

As you’re being carried out, you hear another man and David’s voice speaking. Ellie is furious, her rage and desperation coming into play as you disappear and she’s left along with the man whose set his intentions on her. You try to scream, to tell her to run, to hurt, to kill and David’s laugh is the last thing you hear before gravity shifts and you’re in a new room separate from them.

There was a table, and a few chairs, that much was all you knew as your back was slammed onto a hard surface. The feeling of your pants being tugged at striking a primal fear deep inside your chest. It’s useless, your hands are bound once again between two larger ones, and the blanket over your form prohibits you from fighting back as well as you want to. The knife that you feel cutting at the fabric of your jeans tearing into your skin around your thighs and you try to scream and snarl as you rock yourself back and forth between the two men. You manage to kick the one with the knife at the end of the table and you head him land hard on the ground, the blade clattering to the floor.

Surging up, you spin and kick at the other man, tearing the blanket from over your head and diving off the table to grab at the fallen weapon. It’s your machete and you smile, tasting blood from the scuffle as you take in the small room you had been dragged to. The man you kicked had fallen harshly enough to open the back of his head and he lay motionless on the ground, a chair thrown from his body careening through the air.

The second man is reaching for you, grabbing at your hair and pulling you to him. The needle that had been in his grip in the other room plunges into your arm and a scream bubbles up. The blade in your hand is cutting you lose, thick strands of your hair flying up into the air as you fall to the ground from the force of being freed. He’s hissing, the blade having caught along his fingers. You try to get back up on your feet just in time to see him reaching for something hidden in the waistband of his pants

You’re lunging at him with the blade gripped tight in your hand. His stomach bleeds where you cut him and he moves his hands over the seeping wound with a strangled sound of protest. Its deep, his widened eyes meeting yours just before he collapses.

Rushing, you stormed into the room you had been taken from to see Ellie grabbing hold of a knife and slashing the man who had taken a step back from where she was laid out on a table much like you had been. Thankfully all of her clothes were in place and she seemed relatively unharmed. Blood sprayed into the air and David seemed to be shocked by her violence, stunned into silence for a moment long enough to allow the young girl to scramble off the butcher’s block and through the door.

David doesn’t even glance at you as he chases after her, the door locking behind him as your body slams into it. He smiles something vile and sickly sweet before he’s off after her, disappearing from view.

A few moments later, the smell of smoke and fire waft down the hall. Your efforts intensify, the need to find Ellie consuming you. Your mind focused on her and only her even as the skin of your thighs sting and bleed. The hair that had fallen loose tangles and swings with your efforts to break the door down, the wood of it getting too hot to slam your fists into or jostle the doorknob. Huffing a breath, you look around the room but there’s nothing to use to knock it loose.

As carefully as you can, you grip the top of the handle of the machete and slam the butt of it down on the doorknob. Once and then again, the splintering of wood loud even as the crackling of flames becomes obvious as the door pops open. It’s all smoke and darkness as you shuffle through the room in the crouch. The sound of flames licking at the support beams of thick wood loud, the taste and smell of smoke tickling your lungs when you finally see a figure downed on the ground.

Heart beating harshly, you approach it with your weapon held in front, but it’s not Ellie needing to be saved. It’s David. And he’s dead. His face bloody and broke, his body limp and immobile.

Ellie is no where to be seen and the room’s heat tries to take you for a second victim.

You collided with something hard and solid as you tear out of the building, the force of it knocking you down to the ground. The impact of your body sending snow flying up, blood smearing the ground in a bright display. You shouted as you fell, terror being the only thing that could be heard in your wordless exclamation. You spun from your side quickly, neck hurting from moving so fast, only to see two more men around you, just as shocked where they had been knocked down at the impact. They didn’t have any weapons but that didn’t matter. Everyone and anyone in this whole god damn place was a threat.

A stab of worry has you gasping for air as you quickly righted yourself, hoping Ellie had gotten out of here without running into anyone else. You had no idea what had happened between the time she had escaped and you had managed to do the same. The building you had burst from was crackling behind you, flames rising high despite the freezing temperatures. But the mangled body of David was the only clue as to what had happened. You spotted a third figure approaching in the distance, though it was moving fairly slowly toward you.

With a loud shriek you lunged at the man still on the ground, the other struggling to right himself where he had fallen over his own feet. The machete in your grip came to catch the man before you across his front, his shouts and pleas falling on deaf ears as you could feel your whole-body struggle against the drugs still pumping through your veins, your mind focused on one thing: survival. The squelching sound of you cutting into his throat had the other man struggling to get on his feet stumble in shock at the brutality.

“What the fuck!” His shout was loud, his eyes wide as he watched you murder his companion. All they had done was come out see what the roaring of the fire had been, you had flown from the building as they talked over what could’ve happened.

You round on him, eyes wild as he just shouted at you, trying to get away from you as quickly as he could. The snow was falling so heavily, the denseness of it already built up on the ground tripping him up on his injured ankles. He turned back to look at you over his shoulder, freezing as he saw the figure closing in behind you. You turn slightly as well to see how much distance there was between you and both men. You sprinted forward toward the one trying to get away, him being the closer of the two. He shouts as he throws his entire body to run into you, knocking over your smaller frame, hands scrabbling for the blade in your hands. It was knocked away as your back hit the ground, the man falling over you. He righted himself, legs on either side of you and your mind went white in rage.

“Not again!” You shriek, bringing your knees up to knock into him, kicking with all your might. Your hands grappling for a grip on his arms, you managed to land a few hits and used his moment of stillness to push up. You slammed his back on the ground hard as you flipped over, the pain immobilizing him just enough for you to do so. You realized you were screaming as your clenched fists landed hit after hit to his face, his neck, his chest. Blood was flying off your knuckles to splatter in the snow, on your face, your hands covered in the thick red liquid. You were sure it was just another layer to the grime and dried blood that had already covered your entire body and form. When the man went still below you, you crawled to where the machete had fallen in the scuffle. You brought it up to cover your front as you turned on your back, the figure too close for you to risk scrambling back up. Your chest heaving, your clothes were ripped, you were covered in blood and your eyes were wild as they connected with a pair of brown ones above you.

The figure pauses, hands coming up in front of them, but you weren’t taking anymore chances. The figure didn’t make another move toward you, but you weren’t seeing anything other than a threat. Your mind blurring the figure in front of you into every man that had every tried to touch you, into every man that had. You got your feet up under you and pushed yourself to stand, machete coming up and swiping as you try to put more distance between you and the tall figure. They hiss as the sharp edge of the blade catches one of their raised forearms.

“You’re not gonna fuckin’ touch me!” You holler, voice hoarse and so unlike your own. It’s tone low, it was terrifying, it was a touch desperate, and it was exactly how you were afraid of being heard. But it was harsh, tone hard and serious. You couldn’t stop the words from tearing through your throat, nearly growled out. “Your fuckin’ friends are dead and I’ll kill you too!”

You sway on your feet, the drugs in your system still fighting to overpower you. Your hair wild and loose, the choppy strands evidence of where you had cut it to try and free yourself earlier. The move had only saved you minutes of agony, years of growth erased in one swift motion. Your shoulders ached as you kept the blade up between you and the figure. They hadn’t moved, hands still held up in front of them and that’s when you realized they were talking to you. That you were still making guttural sounds deep in your raw throat. Warnings aimed at them to not get closer to you, that you would kill them just as swiftly as you had the others who opposed your escape. The hesitant voice cutting through the haze of your mind. Your eyes focused, the figure coming into view. It was Joel. But it had registered a second too late, you had already lunged at them, blade swinging.

He grunts as the blade makes contact with his shoulder. You had tried to stop the momentum, but you had swung so hard that between him not moving to save himself and you realizing it was him too late, the blade still cut into him. It wasn’t deadly, as it would’ve been, but it wasn’t a shallow hit either. He’s missing his jacket, the remaining layers of his clothes took most of the damage, but he would need stitches. The blade is still gripped tight in your hands, but it was lowered now, shaking. He looks from the new wound to you, his hands wanting to grasp at it but not doing so out of fear of triggering another swing. His eyes are pleading, he’s desperate for you to see that it’s him, not someone who was trying to harm you

“It’s me, it’s Joel.” He didn’t dare say you were okay. He knows you aren’t. He knows Ellie wasn’t from the way she had been screaming much the same way when he had found her. Her fear had been heartbreaking, it had hurt beyond words to see her, to hear the sheer terror in her voice as she had hit and fought against him before she realized who he was. Yours was shattering, you were covered in more blood, and from the looks of it a lot of it was yours. Not the way he envisioned seeing you again after going about your separate ways. His eyes lingered on the rips in your pants, blood coating your thighs underneath.

“J-Joel?” You repeated, as if it was a foreign name, as if he wasn’t real. He hadn’t been, during the entire ordeal. Ellie telling you what had happened, the way she had tried to help him, you had compartmentalized his death already. Knowing the odds of fighting off a wound like that, dirty stitches made with a rusted needle, infection quick to set in even in far better circumstances. It had been logical, the only outcome for such a medical condition in this time with no aid, no sterile environment.

You were still heaving, trying to regain your breath, the drugs in your system making it hard to do so. You swayed again but didn’t release your tight grip on your weapon, on your salvation. You startled so badly you swung out as the building on fire lost part of its roof to a cave in. Joel stepped back quickly at the motion, not wanting another harsh cut. That machete was dangerous on its own, but in your hands, it was an extension of yourself, lethal, not to be taken lightly.

“Joel?” Your voice sounded clearer, the height of your emotions calming slightly. You shook your head, not believing it, your emotions and the drugs blurring your vision of the only man you trusted.

“It’s me, I promise.” He dared to step toward you, reaching out to you slowly. You seemed to be frozen, eyes fixated on him. He was squarely in front of you now, his hands coming out to grasp over yours on the handle of the machete. He gently pried it from you, you still beneath him. The second it was out of your hands, he moved to place it in his bag, sealing it away. When he turned back to face you, you threw yourself at him, burying your face in his chest. He could feel your body convulse with harsh sobs, the sounds of you trying to suck in oxygen hiccupped by shuddering cries. Your fingers were digging into his arms so tightly that it hurt but he didn’t dare say anything, he just slowly brought his arms around your back.

“We need to move before the rest of the town comes out.” He spoke lowly, not wanting to spook you into throwing punches. He had seen you pummel that man’s face to nothing, and it scared him you could do the same to him in a blind panic. You just nodded, not moving, body shivering against him as he tried to console you. He didn’t think he would ever be able to, not with this, not with what his brain was telling him had happened here in this nightmare of a town. He tried to take a step, but you didn’t budge, hands tightening on him. “Darlin’, we gotta move.”

“I can’t f-feel my legs. They drugged me and I think it’s kicking in.” You looked up at him, eyes shiny with tears. You looked so defeated and he was scared you were going to look like that for the rest of your life. He couldn’t see any part of the woman you were before this in your face, in your eyes. He hadn’t seen any of who Ellie had been before either and his heart hurt in his chest. He pulled away from you and moved to scoop you up bridal style, but you weakly pushed at him. “No, you’re gonna hurt yourself, p-pull your stitches.”

You shift on your feet, leaning heavily into his left side.

“I got Ellie safe in the brush, I didn’t want to leave her, but she said they still had you locked up.” He didn’t dare say locked up in a cage, the feeling of those words settling heavily in him. They had locked you and Ellie up like animals, like things to be used at their convenience. The fire spread to the surrounding buildings, the freezing air offering no relief for the town. “She told me to save you, that they-“

“They’re dead.” The parody of a conversation from long ago in the darkness of a small forest clearing not lost on either of you.

“I know, darlin’. But we gotta go. Now.” He watches as splotches of color began to pepper the snow, people emerging from the buildings. People he didn’t have the energy to kill now that he had you in his arms and Ellie was waiting for them to retrieve her. As you hastily distanced yourself from the burning town, you felt Joel lean into you as much as you were leaning into him. Two broken and beaten people trying to offer whatever solace as you retrieved Ellie. She was smothered between you both, shielding her from the world as you moved further, further, further away. The snow was blinding as it whipped around your little trio but you didn’t look back. None of you did.

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[hummingbee-o0o]

Armand Molloy's Vampirism Course for the Gifted

Apparently, Daniel is something of a vampiric prodigy.

He’s a very efficient and neat killer, sure, but that’s not it. It’s about The Gifts, or whatever. Well, one gift, for now, but Armand is so hopped up on it he’s going full Montessori on Daniel’s ass. He apparently wants to make up for being an absentee maker at the start there, and he’s determined to nurture Daniel’s talents.

It started a couple months ago, when Daniel casually set a shitty book on fire, and even he was surprised at how easily it came to him. Armand then said something weirdly erotic about his blood being inside Daniel, and the whole incident got them both so horny they repeatedly had sex about it for a week.

And now Armand is of the opinion that Daniel should try branching out into other gifts as well.

Except…

You know how some birds of prey will deliver a kill that’s still wriggling to their nest, so the young can learn to deal the killing blow? Yeah, that’s pretty much Armand’s teaching methodology.

Only it’s not about killing, because Daniel, disturbingly, never had problems in that department. No, this is much more complicated, and Daniel is kinda regretting watching that David Attenborough documentary with Armand last night, the one about the European golden eagles lifting entire-ass goats off cliffs, because he’s pretty sure that’s the bit that inspired Armand’s current teaching efforts.

There’s a cop standing in front of them, staring straight ahead with the creepy, vacant stare of an antique doll. They’re in the middle of an abandoned construction site, the kind that really ticks Daniel off, because the housing crisis is a real thing, but at least there’s nobody to see them; and if anybody comes along, well, Armand can do what he’s done to the cop.

Which brings Daniel back to his predicament.

“Come on, babe,” he tries. “Can’t we do it some other time? I’ll blow you if we go home right now.”

Armand laughs, beautiful like a goddamn midsummer night. “That’s a very tempting offer, beloved, but we both know you’ll do that anyway.”

Yeah, he’s got Daniel there.

“Try lifting one of his arms.”

“God, can’t we just drain him?”

“You just ate,” Armand reminds him, and that’s true, there’s even still some blood in the corner of Daniel’s mouth; he licks at it pensively, staring at the cop. “Go on.”

Thing is, Armand is really so fucking calculated. He’s orchestrated every detail here like the ultimate theatre kid he is: he knows that choosing a cop will remove any sympathy inhibitions Daniel may have otherwise had for a technically still-living subject, and he also knows the cop will trigger Daniel’s fight-or-flight responses, because you can take the boy out of the drug den, but you can’t take the junkie out of the old man.

The empty construction site, the open space and illusion of isolation, and the goddamn stretched-out t-shirt Armand is wearing, the one with a neckline that droops well past his collarbones, because he knows Daniel is weak with horniness when he puts that on.

(Look who’s bartering with desire now.)

“Fine,” Daniel finally breaks, as they both knew he would. “Fine. But don’t get disappointed if nothing happens.”

“You’re my Daniel. I could never be disappointed in you.”

Well, shit, and then he goes and says stuff like that. And he means it too, it’s right there in his eyes. Daniel doesn’t know what to do with him, other than love him.

-

(continue reading on AO3)

[velvetvexations]

how much internet horror stuff have you watched? were there any ones you liked? or alternatively any ones you really wanna shit talk?

The Left Right Game fucking sucks. It actually helped me develop a core part of what I consider maybe the most important maxim of writing horror, which is that you don't need to tell the audience the answers and you don't even have to necessarily have the answers yourself, but you must always, without exception, at least give the impression there are answers.

TLRG never for one second feels like it's mysterious bullshit means anything. Like, you have to pick up a hitchhiker and drive him down the road awhile, but if you say anything to him that entire time something bad will happen. Why? Well like my right hand every night it BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME, it's just a spooky "rule" you're supposed to follow because horror fans are annoying about "rules" based horror, like I have autism and OCD too but I'd like to read something that's actually scary and not just this weird audience self-insert stuff that's reminiscent of the worst zombie fiction where you just wanna feel good about how well you'd totally win by following all the rules that you memorized like the nerd that you are.

Like, it's not the rules themselves that are the problem necessary. Rules horror CAN be good. But in TLRG all the rules, all the mysterious and dangerous events, are completely random and pulled right out of the author's ass. Which, again, would be fine if the author could at least pretend there's something going on behind the scenes and not just clearly throwing spookiness at the wall to see what sticks.

...as to internet horror I like, there's

Local 58

Gemini Home Entertainment

Valle Verde

This House Has People in It*

How-To Video Results

Alex Bale's short films**

Gilbert Garfield

Stephanie Lawson Stevens

No One Can Find This "Creepy Dinosaur" Game...***

Kane Pixel's work

Blue Emesis

Brian David Gilbert's work

ghosttundra's work

British Cryptids and the rest of the Whinny Moor extended universe in general

Lacey Games

and MyHouse.wad****.

*I choose to classify this as internet horror because it had an associated ARG and only aired like once on Adult Swim before YouTube became it's primary home

**specifically not including Happy Meat Farms, which he's involved in but does not interest me; he's also working on his first feature film, however, which does interest me quite a lot

***it's a month old, so no spoiler on the fact that it's a work of fiction

****I'm also counting this as internet horror because it's so interwoven with the experience of being in the Doom modding community that I would say it's necessary to be at least familiar with a lot of that for the full impact, not only within the game itself but also how it incorporates you innocently going to download it as you would any other mod rather than it like, being listed on a storefront

[sergeifyodorov]

I’m curious because of how you rank Cale, who do you think are the top 10 players in the league? (We can exclude goalies because they’re such an entirely different skill set but would love to hear their separate ranking)

oooh ok this is. an inchresting question... under the cut bc dashclog Et Cetera.... the cody sergeifyodorov unoffishul players rankings at This Very Moment In Time. get mad at me if u want idk let's dance

number ten: sidney crosby. Old Man Still Has It, More At Ten

number nine: david pastrnak. arguably -- and i am going to argue it -- the best pure shooter in the league. the reason hes not like theee goalscorer of all time is bc he generally lacks puck carriers/space creators/isn't much of a puck carrier or a space creator of his own, but like. based off shot alone? hundredth percentile.

number eight: elias pettersson. two way centre... the usual vancouver oish% boost but also just a fantastic dual threat AND a legit lady byng candidate with a penalty differential big enough to severely boost his value just based off that. like imho there's nothing that petey is specifically Good At (like how pasta is a pure goalscorer) but he's basically got no weaknesses. and hes gay

number seven: cale makar IS very good. conn smythe norris etc but most importantly he did win a hockeyblr babygirl of the year award so theres that too. some crazy bobby orr pointgetter. real good defensive results too. like hes crazy good and they say hes crazy good for a reason

number six: ill concede. leon draisaitl

[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]

number five: quinn hughes. i don't know what fuckass magic this sad little man has. decent finisher. great playmaker. best power play quarterback in the league. makes anyone who plays with him appear to be "oh shit, this guy's a great partner for hughes!" (i have seen this with at least 5 diff players, not one of whom anyone would consider Quite Good on their own.) L + ratio + oish% + makar has devon toews + youngest captain in the league + you bet that conn smythe and norris combo is his soon enough

number four: nathan mackinnon. best dual threat in the league (no one who's a better passer than him is a better goalscorer, and no one who's a better goalscorer is a better passer.)

number three: nikita kucherov. i want you to do something for me. i want you to go to espn dot com. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl slash team stats tampa bay lightning. it should be sorted by points for you. there's dearly beloved creepy eyes keeta right there in first. 94 points as of me writing this. crazy number for right now. wolfboy of all time brayden point should be in second. take a look for me rn at the difference between those two in points. what the fuck

number two: auston matthews. is this leafs bias? sure. im a leafs guy. im just saying that he's a better goalscorer than ovi in his prime, and he's a centre and great defensively too. i could tell you that he is fifth all time in goals per game, and two of the four guys ahead of him were born in the 1800s. i could tell you that he has 48 goals in 52 games right now, and 0 empty netters. i could tell you that if you only counted goals he scored when the leafs were down one or tied, he'd be in the top ten in goals this year.

[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]

number one: connor mcdavid. he has almost as many assists as the second-best in his draft class (mitchell) has points. he has 930 points in 620 games. he is the only player in the salary cap era to have a 150-point season. idk there's just fuckin . no one like him. like generally an untrained eye can't really see how much better or faster any given player is than the rest but like. you can with him. he just Looks a step ahead of the pack. top five all time, and he's in his prime rn!!!! lets go connie all my homies love connie

[silencingspellsongs]

fuck it, caller time

aka i'm gonna ramble out ideas i've had of future audios i want from him and ppl can take them as writing prompts if they want or we can all work together to beam them psychically into erik's brain over the next 6 months

minors don't interact i get spicy in here oop 🔞 also tw dub-con content in here but if you're into the yandere caller character i feel like you can kind of expect that ‼️

i was originally planning on writing a fic with all these ideas in it but i don't have the time or the spoons for that and so instead of just rotating them in my mind forever and driving myself slowly insane i thought i would just throw them out into the ether because maybe they'll inspire someone else or make someone else insane too teehee 🤭

• sweetie gets home from a long day at work, they're exhausted. they don't have the energy to fuck with making dinner, maybe this is part of a pattern for them where they often neglect themself because they're too tired/it's easier to just go lay down and forget about responsibilities (is this me just working through my own mental health things? yes. yes it is.)

they're curled up on the couch and then there's a knock at the door or their doorbell rings. they get up and answer it and there's a pizza delivery Guy there who seems pretty unfazed by the confused look on their face. he's got an order for them, their usual order in fact, but they tell him they didn't order anything. he pulls out the receipt and double checks the address, tells them it was already paid for and everything. then he notices there's a note in the instructions on the receipt which he reads out to them. "it says 'for my sweetie, you had a long day, eat and get comfortable. i'll call you soon. xoxo"

oblivious to the way sweetie's entire body freezes up, Guy goes on to say something about how nice it is that they have such a caring partner, hands over their order and then leaves. sweetie's phone then starts to ring. they know better than to ignore it and when they answer, caller praises them. tells them to enjoy the food, talks to them about how it's a good thing he's here to take care of them. mentions how watching them neglect their own needs frustrates him but that's why he's here now.

i would imagine that this would maybe start out with that creep feeling of anxiety that his audios give but it does end up mellowing into something of a soothing stress relief type scenario. caller walking sweetie through some self care ideas: making sure they eat up, take a hot shower or a relaxing bubble bath afterwards, maybe they could even use a massage (here's where some spicy references would get thrown in, we all know this guy loses his mind thinking about touching sweetie 🥴) laid out on their bed, body still warm and damp from the water... smelling like their soap, his favorite smell now because it reminds him of them. his hands tracing over their back. firm but warm, digging into the knots in their shoulders. running over every inch of them... exploring, memorizing, claiming. he gets all breathy in that way of his but like always he backs it up. not yet, not tonight.

in the end they're left with the instructions of how to take care of themself the rest of the night and the promise that he's always here to make sure they do it. lots more creepy praise before the call ends.

• i need JEALOUSY. i need possessive, feral, pissed off jealous caller. i need that sort of shit that would make the people that complain about David's jealousy audio's heads explode. i need it to be mean and messy and ANGRY and growly and scary and i need it like oxygen in my lungs.

it could be someone from work, or maybe a neighbor in their apt complex, or maybe it's just some stranger at the grocery store. someone's caught sight of sweetie and is shooting their shot. i think for this scenario, the way i imagine it as an audio, sweetie would be on the phone with said person. some guy is talking them up over the phone, really laying it on thick but not super directly asking them out just yet. moreso laying the ground work for it but it's still pretty obvious he's looking to get into their pants but sweetie is... well sweetie's maybe a little oblivious or maybe they just don't have the self confidence to believe that this guy's actually into them. (we've gotten the idea from the other caller audios that sweetie definitely doesn't think highly of themself so that's where this characterization is coming from btw)

whatever the situation, the sound of another incoming call beeps over the phone (do cell phones even do that anymore? i don't ever call people so i don't know but it's fantasy ok we can just pretend ❤️) and sweetie knows what that "unknown caller" flashing on their screen means. they try to end the conversation with flirty guy but he doesn't take the hint, tries to keep them on the line. sweetie's too much of a pushover to just hang up on someone so they keep trying to walk this conversation to an end point and the call waiting beeping stops when they don't pick up.

big mistake.

and they know it's a big mistake when the call waiting beeping starts up again. and here's where some of the more strange caller audio things can start happening. we still don't know just what this guy is, stealth? demon? offshoot of echo? not sure exactly what kind of supernatural stuff is in his wheelhouse but dealer's choice on what starts to happen when he calls the second time. maybe the call with the flirty guy starts to break up, or hangs up all on its own. maybe sweetie starts to hear the thumps around their house again. whatever it is, it's obvious that the caller wants them to answer him.

sweetie finally picks up the call and oh boy. oh baby. ooooh it's not very nice. caller is furious. in the beginning it would seem that he's pissed at sweetie and they would react accordingly, being afraid of him as they still must be (even if by this point they started to mellow on him like he talks about wanting, how over time they would get used to him and not be so scared.) his tone is sharp and you can almost feel the anger radiating off him just through the sound of his voice when he tells sweetie to get on their bed. now.

caller is like barely holding it together but it quickly becomes obvious that his anger isn't directed at sweetie, he's ranting about the audacity of the other guy for thinking he could take them away from him. this could get many levels of unhinged, talking about hurting the other guy, talking about locking sweetie up away from anyone else who thinks they can have them, just basically all the most delicious yandere freak shit imaginable.

if my prayers were to come true, this scenario would be a spicy one. caller wanting to prove to sweetie that they belong to him. possessive, growly, jealous over-the-phone joi bonus audio. talks of marking them. claiming them. owning them. it's overwhelming but caller is never like explicitly pissed off at sweetie, mostly pissed they didn't just hang up on that other guy. caller is heavy on the praise as he watches them. yeah, this would probably be in the dub-con category given the relationship between caller and sweetie and i understand not everyone is down for that but also it's kind of baked into these two at the core and well ivan's whole thing was dub-con as hell and he got a bonus audio soooo don't like/don't interact and all that jazz.

anyways this ends with caller demanding sweetie to block that guy's number lol

• ok last one i have fleshed out is another kind of idk if nicer is the right word for it considering caller's whole thing but yeah ok it's like a nicer/softer one. something like the first scenario i had where it's moreso to help get sweetie comfortable with the caller, like he wants.

sweetie's asleep. having a nightmare. are we at all surprised if i say they're having a nightmare about the caller? not to keep harping back to ivan (i can't help it, i'm a yandere enjoyer and ivan scratched that itch so right, rip king i know you aren't dead but you're not possessed by a sadism demon anymore so it's basically the same thing 💔) but the vibes are similar to baby 2.0 having ivan nightmares. those sequences were always so good ugh i loved them.

anyways sweetie is having a Bad Time™, hell maybe the nightmare itself isn't centered around caller but maybe in the dream caller is acting as a savior to something else that's scaring them and that fact itself is a little terrifying to them. that's almost juicier, your tormentor becoming your salvation? mmmm

whatever the case, sweetie is pulled from the nightmare by a noise that wakes them up. big surprise, it's their phone ringing at god-only-knows o'clock in the still dark morning. and who else would it be but the person from their dream: their unknown caller.

he's... softer than normal. maybe his own voice has that sleep-gruff quality to it. he tells sweetie that they were thrashing around, must have been a nightmare. he didn't like seeing them distressed. he soothes them a bit, tells them to relax back into bed. maybe there's a glass of water on their bedside table that wasn't there when they first went to bed, ice still floating in it as if it was freshly placed before they woke up.

he talks for a while, letting the sound of his voice help them relax. at some point he asks what their nightmare was about. sweetie tries to deflect, or tries to lie about it hut his voice gets hard for a moment. reminds them of the rules. no lying. they relent and tell caller about it. if it was the dream where something else terrible was happening but caller saved them from it, he would be happy about that. he'd ask them why that made them upset. he's told them before, he'a here to make things better. he's going to fix things for them. sweetie's dream is proof of that, that they're starting to see him in that way.

this would definitely be a sleep aid type scenario. caller talking sweetie back to sleep. i can almost imagine it having that effect like in the first audio where the audio of the call itself has primarily been coming from one side, like if you were talking over the phone. at some point during this, sweetie has rolled over and the phone's pressed between their head and the pillow. their eyes are closed as they start to fall back asleep. then there's that sound of the breathing from the other side, not the huffing ragged breath designed for the creep factor in the first audio but a softer breathing. like sleeping next to a lover. and sweetie falls asleep.

haha ok anyways that was.... A Lot of typing 😅 like i said these are some scenario ideas i've had swimming around in my head over the last 6 months of relistening to the caller's first audio a frankly obscene and concerning amount of times. these ideas are open for anyone who wants to use them as inspiration or prompts, or for building off of in my DMs to make me short circuit lmao whatever tickles your fancy.

all i ask is that if these do inspire something in a fic writer out there that wants to write them, please please pleaaaase tag me so i can read it and go feral about it 🤪

also please other caller enjoyers talk to me this man is in my walls he's haunting me i need solidarity to survive the drought of however long it'll take for us to hear from him again 🥺🥺

[princeloww]

I love love lovee the costuming in David Tennant's Casanova. First of all it's beautiful, second of all---

Bellino starts off pretending to be a boy to get into the city. She keeps up this act very well, and doesn't cave when Giac repeatedly insists that she's a girl. Once it gets out, Casanova vows to marry her and pours all his money into making her successful. He hosts the ball. Bellino expresses to him that she is still a performer. She isn't rich or noble, she's a performer in a costume. The entire show, really, is about performers; Casanova is faking it until he makes it, and constantly winning and losing; Henriette is faking it in order to secure a good life for her children, and putting stability above her own happiness; Bellino is pretending to be something she's not in order to get by.

At the ball, she tells him that she feels like she's just copying everybody else. She doesn't feel like herself. She is, essentially, dressing up like everybody else to fit in, and doesn't like it. Casanova fucks up her dress so that she looks unique and stands out.

Her dress is torn, revealing her thighs and stockings. It's a sort of edgier look, with a more risque and performative edge. She stands out. She is herself. She isn't one of the identical, noble women in matching frocks. That just isn't her.

The next time we see Bellino, in Paris, everybody is wearing their dresses like that. Their skirts are to their thighs, and brightly coloured stockings are very much visible. What was originally her "standing out" is now the norm - it is the current trend. This is also where we see the beginnings of Bellino's complete shift - and, to be quite frank, corruption. There is a brief moment between her and Casanova, while they're dancing, where she is Bellino. She is soft and caring and unabashedly herself --- but it's only brief. The soft, dim lighting becomes harsh as she rattles off her schedule and brushes him off.

She is no longer unique. Everybody around her has copied her, meaning that she is just a copycat again, in a sense. She is one of the crowd, one of an identical group. She, due to exposure to this new, vain lifestyle, has been corrupted and changed. We see the development and change of this character through (well, one, her demeanour and the shift in lighting/music/tone, but two) the costuming of the others around her.

It also suggests that she is a trendsetter, a potential consequence of her newfound fame and popularity.

The costuming is just so good. It really, in my opinion, shapes and tells a story of its own. The Bellino bit is really my favourite example. This is before she reaches what I consider to be her absolute worst, when she's in Naples (and in a weird creepy goth cult with drugs and incest). We are seeing that downfall. Maybe we saw the start of it, the night of the ball, but this is 100% part of it.

The costuming tells us that story, inside of a story, of a talented, unique (and let's be so honest: queer) person being shifted and changed by a vain and vapid society, the longer she spends inside of it, and does so expertly. I honestly love the fuck out of Casanova (2005)

[intocleanness]

kill six billion demons brainvomit: the sequel nobody wanted, everyone groans at my bullshit

MAYA TEN METI

MATHANGI MANTRA “SLAUGHTER THE GODS AND TOPPLE THEIR THRONES”

lets talk about her for a minute. not like you can stop me.

Maya’s like Solomon David, she’s learned the folly of Sword Law the hard way on a smaller scale but the fact remains: she had everything and then she lost everything. Her entire life, she chased power. When she was a child she came to Meti, begging her for strength. Time and time again Meti denied her. She grew, the war of the demiurges erupted, she got the training she wanted alongside the street urchin-turned-swordsman Incubus. She became a god of the fractured world and returned to her master in all her splendor and glory.

And Meti destroyed her with a single fucking question: “Suppose you win, what then?”

This is where the paths of Solomon David and Maya diverge. Maya realized she had no answer for that, what would happen after there was no more recourse by violence. What do you do when Sword Law is no longer necessary?

She took Meti’s advice: she laid down her swords as ugly pieces of metal for idiots and built a house, learned the herbs of the forest and the taming of animals. She raised a family and was happy for a time. She learned the correct lessons.

And now we must turn to look at Incubus. Because we cannot talk about Maya without talking about Incubus. I apologize but it simply must be done.

The first word I think of when I think of Incubus is “desperate.” He needs above all else to be validated in any way whatsoever, friend or foe. He tells Allison “You need this” like some creepy dream stalker and Maya is only still alive out of hatred for him. It makes sense though, the first we see of him, he’s a feral street orphan that hears Meti and Maya and without hesitation carves his scalp to the bone with a rusty sword. Incubus fundamentally needs to be important to somebody, anybody, in any fashion. Present him with a rat, say “kill it,” and he’ll chop it in half without hesitation. He will do anything to be more than nothing.

He and Maya seem to have a good relationship right up to the moment she decided to actually listen to Meti and cast off the trappings of godhood in favor of leading a normal life. At which point Incubus thought “you can’t discard me. I need to matter. I won’t be discarded!”

And then he murdered her family and ripped the syllables of God out of her head. Then he tried ten times to decapitate her and failed.

Here is where I wind back around to talking about Maya. I don’t have a specific word to describe Maya, but gun to my head? “Hate.” Maya hates Incubus so much she has lived for thousands of years. Maya hates so hard, she can not so much cut as hate you in half. The fundamental principal of her technique, the Maybe Sword, is that the wielder can simply will something to be cut, But as she says, its foundation is in anger and grief, so it is a terrible thing to wield.

Can it kill a god? Maybe.

Maya regrets that she has this knowledge and wishes she was a simple noodle seller, just like Meti told her all those years ago. Incubus? guy sucks wish i didnt have to talk so much about the fucking stinkboy. hes an extraordinarily poor swordsman

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 5, MAG 5 Thrown Away, Spoiler Free Version

Spoiler Free Version of my MAG 5 analysis. Let me know what you think!

Facts: Statement of Kieran Woodward, regarding items discovered in the refuse of 93 Lancaster Road, Walthamstow. Given February 23rd, 2009.

Statement Notes: There are so many posts out there comparing The Magnus Archives to the Twilight Zone because of Jon's narration and the serial creepy story format, but this episode really stands out in mind as Twilight Zone-esque. Like the Twilight Zone, some Magnus Archive episodes deal with things like childhood guilt and cult-behavior, like MAG 4. But other episodes just kind of say "Damn, isn't that fucked up? Anyway," like this one.

I do love Kieran as a character. He's just so weirdly chill and realistic about everything. There's are some statement givers who are still being tormented by fears, some who cause fear, some who are reporting on things that happened to people they know, but there's also this interesting category of people who survived because they played the game right. When the audience says "don't go in the basement" or "call the cops," they listen. Woodward gets through this statement unscathed because he moves on from the creepy dolls heads and reports the teeth, then destroys the "gift" left for him and tries to move on. Alan can't let go, Alan doesn't know the rules of the genre, that's why he doesn't make it out.

Speaking of Alan, Jonny consistently uses obsessive characters really well. There's a lot of horror media where, in real life, it would make more sense for the characters to give up on their investigations of the supernatural or to ignore it in entirely in the first place. The audience is usually (and rightfully) able to suspend reality for the sake of the story in these situations. But what's so interesting about Jonny's writing is that he explicitly states characters like Alan, like Amy Patel, can't stop themselves. It's obsession, it's all consuming, they know it's bad for them, but they just can't stop. It really adds to the audience fear because you're not the only one telling them turn back, their mind is screaming it too, but they still won't listen.

My two new favorite characters in the series are "Matt, who was raised Catholic and never shut up about it," because he is me, and David who "broke the silence by vomiting loudly into a nearby drain," because he is the most realistic horror character of all time.

Character Notes: The post-statement in this episode is just 90% Martin hate. Absolutely unhinged behavior. What if you worked at a restaurant at the end of every receipt your boss just wrote "This waiter is a goddamn loser and I hate him." Wild man Jonathan Sims everybody.

[spacedlexi]

Wait, people think Carver is the best TWDG villain?? I always thought he was basic as hell, and the fact that he was beefing with an 11-years old girl... Now Stranger on the other hand was great, he was super intimidating and off-putting and I was genuinely so scared he would hurt Clementine. I also liked Minnie for the same reasons (she was so creepy/off-putting), but I still think Stranger is the best villain bc he had a great setup while Minnie was kind of a secondary villain. But going back to Lilly/Carver, I also definitely prefer Lilly over Carver even though neither are my favorite... And now I'm kind of curious how you would rank the rest of the TWDG villains? 🤔

carver being the best villain is a sentiment ive heard for years 😭 im sure its coming from the "S2 is the best season" crowd tho which i also dont agree with 💀

the stranger is an effective villain. hes not exactly the typical villain type people expect. but hes very unsettling and him stalking clementine for who even knows how long through the walkie talkie is 🤢 he really makes me feel sick. she was using that talkie to deal with the loss of her parents, and this fucking creep took advantage of that so hard he was able to convince her to trust him. ugh he makes me feel so gross. and think of all the guilt clem must have about that situation. trusting this freak to help her find her parents, when if she had just stayed then lee wouldnt have gotten bit looking for her, and her parents were already dead the entire time anyway. oof. theres no way that isnt one of the biggest regrets of her life

carver is fine. i definitely think his character wouldve made more sense if they put kenny in that role instead. that way theres less "i am a grown man beefing with an 11 year old" and more "this is a child i helped look out for once, and im gonna make sure shes raised Right". but i agree that carver as he is is just over the top. overly villainous to the point of it being a little comical. like when villains are all tough like that my reaction is usually "god i WISH youd fucking kill me already so i dont have to hear your bullshit anymore do you know how GOOFY you sound??". if it was kenny in that role i definitely think they wouldve been able to tone it back a bit, and him "having a good side" wouldve been way more believable. as he is carver is kind of one note

joan.... definitely the weakest of the bunch. i dont really have much to say about her. david isnt even technically a villain but i definitely saw him as the better antagonist for the season. i mean hes definitely a villain in clems eyes. and is a constant semi-antagonist towards javi throughout the whole season. joans just kinda.. there.. doing things behind the scenes to cause conflict until the final confrontation. and then she can just disappear... okay

i like the way the antagonists work in S4. theres more of a discussion around what actually makes someone a villain and the difference between a person who fucked up and made (very horrible) mistakes, and a person who is straight up a threat. and i like that it connects back to the idea of lee and his murder of that senator. did he do something horrible? yes. did he destroy his relationship to his family? yes. does he regret what he did? i think so. and he definitely has guilt about his fucked up relationship with his wife. in S1 they mention how non-guilty people got sent to prison all the time. while lee is Definitely a murderer, we get to see over the season that hes a good guy who just wanted a family and in a moment of rage and betrayal did something he can never take back. this is why i never hated marlon. did he fuck up and do horrible things? of course. but he was a scared fucked up teen leading a group of other scared fucked up teens. he knows he fucked up, and continued fucking up to cover for his previous fuck ups lol. but he can be talked down. its a shame it ends the way it does, but i really like being able to teach aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly

lilly takes that kenny/carver idea and applies it to a clementine that has grown up and has been looking out for herself (and baby aj) for years now, instead of the 11 year old trying to figure shit out she was in S2. shes too old for lilly to be able to sway her in a way she couldve been more susceptible to in S2, and when lilly finally realizes this she just turns her attention to aj instead, seeing the potential in him (a potential clem does NOT want aj to live up to, wanting him to get to be a kid and not just a survivor, let alone a killer). lilly is fun because you can see in her that she WANTS clementine on her side, and throughout the season progressively realizes that its just never going to happen. both lilly AND clem come to the realization that this person they once considered family is beyond reason, their views too different, and so the fighting begins. their fight at the end of EP3 really feels like a "so its finally come to this" moment for both of them, their final fight. i always shoot her.

whats interesting about minnie is seeing her evolve from secondary antagonist in EP3 to straight up primary villain in EP4. the things shes done, the way shes been broken. she becomes her own downfall, seeing herself as someone beyond redemption. that this is just who she is now, its how things have to be. because if they didnt have to be this way? well then theres a lot more guilt she'd have to deal with. yelling at her in EP4 to just STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE but she has been changed (in her eyes) so irreparably that she cant see any other option. and she progressively sees clem as the one who fucked everything up for her, instead of accepting that it could all finally be OVER. after killing sophie, the delta was all she had left. it cant have all been for nothing. and so she blames clem for taking it all away from her, even tho clem is just trying to protect her family. the family that used to be minnies. and so in her rage she gets bit. something else that she couldve avoided. but shes just too lost to her own downward spiral, unable to be reasoned with. by that point she just wants it all to be Over. and she wants to take tenn with her so she can finally pretend things can all go back to the way they used to be. her, sophie, tenn, and their parents all together again, where no more bad things have to happen to them. shes super tragic and i love her for that. and i love how she holds this dark mirror up to clem. clem struggles to let go of her past too, and the guilt she has over the things shes done and people shes hurt. and that if she cant learn to let go and move on she could get lost to it the same way minnie did. theres a reason clem is so quick to accept her fate, but shes finally able to leave that guilt holding her to her past behind in that barn. and she returns to ericson a much happier and lighter person, so much weight finally lifted from her shoulders. its finally over for her too

so yeah. my fave villains are definitely the S4 ones due to their nuance and layers. then the stranger, then carver, then joan. if i had to put david on this list he'd probably be above carver. but thats mainly because he has more nuance than carver ever did

[ruinreigns]

so ... i sent this to @0blivion earlier to kind of explain why this wyatt sicks story means so much to me and i just want to share it here because it makes it clear why bo dallas has kind of taken over -

so bray wyatt is the whole reason i got into wwe. i stumbled on him at a time when everything felt like it was falling apart. i had already lost david bowie who had been my inspiration since i was a kid. bowie was the first time i realized that i didn't have to change who i was for anyone and that i was allowed to be weird af. and when bowie died while i was working a dead end corporate job, it was like my excitement and will to be weird died with him.

and then i found bray wyatt and fell in love with his cult leader gimmick and how creepy and cool he was. and how he didn't care that he didn't look like the other wrestlers and how he spoke in a way that showed his intelligence and just how geeked out about literature he was and i latched onto that and started to build myself back up. i started to finally find myself again.

and then the fiend came along and i was blown away. me, the horror obsessed lesbian who everyone thought was weird and creepy and no one understood but he got it. he understood exactly what it meant to find beauty and calm in the dark and morbid and i felt so fucking seen. and then he was released and it broke my heart. because it felt like someone stomped on who i was. like maybe being too creative or too out there or too weird meant you didn't belong. but then i watched as the whole fucking world rallied around him. and i swore that i would keep up no matter where he went or what he did because his vision meant so much to me.

and then he was resigned. and all of the qr codes and the riddles and the rabbit holes. i found a community that i'd been craving. an entire community who understood me and who understood the dark and twisted and terrifying. a community i never would have found without him because there was no one like him. and when he came out at extreme rules and gave that speech, all i could do was cry because he saved me too. him coming back showed me that leaving doesn't mean you've lost and that you can come back to yourself on your own terms without compromising a goddamn thing about you and that's the biggest fucking victory you could ever have.

because of bray wyatt, i found the confidence to be me again.

and now… with bo… i've gone through a lot of death in the last 4-5 years, including my best friend dying. and seeing bo come back and take hold of something so precious and putting everything he has into it and loving his craft and keeping bray's vision and memory alive… it's been a reminder that grief doesn't have to be ugly. that you can grieve and find the beauty in the loss because you were lucky to exist in the tiny miniscule moment, that blip in time, with someone who meant so much to you and changed your world.

Wrestling is not a love story, it's much more. It's hope.

[prince-simon]

AIGHT I thought DBD was gonna be a fun lil show. You have: two dead boys with AMAZING chemistry (I LOVE their different accents/slangs/outfits to reflect the times they're from), two living girls with AMAZING chemistry (deadass thought Crystal saw the lights around Niko because maybe she liked herrrrr and the lights were psychic related instead of LITERAL SPRITE INFESTATION), two wildly horny demons who I believe need to get it on and leave Crystal and Edwin alone please and thank you (David and the Cat King), TALKING CATS, a witch cosplaying as Cruella de Ville (I thought she was MURDERING her poor bird Monty!!!!), the cutest adorable most precious little astrology nerd I've EVER SEEN (the aforementioned Monty who wasn't a victim of animal abuse after all), a cursed walrus (still salty Edwin interrupted Tragic Mike's story of how he was cursed, I was INVESTED) OH AND A SUPERHOT BUTCHER LADY!!

ANYWAY this show was supposed to be fun. I watch Supernatural and yeah there were scary episodes but I can't think of anything as traumatic as the Devlin House episode! 😭 Just... watching the dad murder his poor family over and over was awful, seeing how affected Charles was broke my heart, the dad having a secret room to spy on his family was creepy and disturbing and OH MY FUCKING GOD?!?! THAT MISERY WRAITH?!?! I ALMOST THREW UP!! I NEARLY DIED!!! ABSOLUTELY AWFUL TERRIFYING 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND I NEVER WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN!!!!!

I can't wait to watch more DBD tonight!

PS sorry for the essay

okay okay first of all. i'm so excited about this ask. don't apologise haha i've got things to say!!! (i hopeee i'm not spoilering you for anything with this longgg reply lol)

the chemistry between all of them is soooo insane i'm so happy about it!! and yeah lol i think the entire fandom thought it was gay lights for crystal and niko lmao (and you know what? just bc it was parasitic lights who's to say it's not ALSO gay!! sksk i was spoilered about this particular thing before i watched the show and when i saw that scene i STILL thought it was gay lol

sksk thank you for clarifying that by demons you mean david and the cat king bc i was like ??? david and edwin's demon??? interesting take but sure. let's go with it slfjsldfj but yeah calling the cat king a demon works too lmaooo i just love how pathetic the cat king is kssksk

the talking cats are sooo iconic hahaha

omg i totally thought esther was killing monty too. when i first watched it i did a bit of a live reaction with friends and i literally was like noooo not monty!!! he doesn't deserve it!!! i was FLOORED when he turned human skjdflsj in general esther is such a good villain. like i fucking hate her so so so much but man. i LOVE to hate her she just steals every scene she's in ("ouch my ghost skin" lives rent free in my head tbh)

SUPERHOT BUTCHER LADY yesss i love jenny so much. her "oh my fuck" cracks me up every time. fun fact before i watched the show and only saw stuff on tumblr i thought she was gonna be the bad guy sksksk

the show is so camp one second and then soooo devastating the next!!! the devlin house absolutely broke me!! fun fact- or actually not fun at all, idk if you noticed but when the camera is on charles when they're watching the murder happen, you can hear him begging his father to stop hurting him in the background. also another not so fun fact i was listening to jayden revri's charles playlist and the song that's playing in that episode is on there and when it came on i literally had to skip it after a couple seconds bc it triggered me sooo much lmfao but yeah omg don't get me started on the misery wraith!!! the first time i watched it, i was binging and i'd started pretty late already so when i got to that episode it was already dark and i was supposed to go to bed soon and i literally had to cover my screen bc i usually can't do horror at all!! so i was like nopenopenope this isn't happening nope

enjoy the rest of your watch and you're always welcome in my inbox for more yelling!!

[agentnico]

Late Night with the Devil (2024) review

Nothing beats retro 70’s demonic haunting. It was a simpler time…

Plot: Johnny Carson rival Jack Delroy hosts a syndicated talk show ‘Night Owls’ that has long been a trusted companion to insomniacs around the country. However, ratings for the show have plummeted since the tragic death of Jack's beloved wife. Desperate to turn his fortunes around, on October 31st, 1977, Jack plans a Halloween special like no other- unaware he is about to unleash evil into the living rooms of America.

Ladies and gentlemen, please do not adjust your television sets, for there is a new found-footage horror film in town from the indy circuit, and it might just breath the right amount of fresh air into an oversaturated genre. Personally I’ve never been a major fan of found-footage. I hear folks raving about the original Blair Witch Project yet all I watched was a bunch of guys running around the woods screaming endlessly for no reason. Additionally the shaky-cam element can be so dizzying and sickly that I truly end up questioning the entertainment value of it all. There are exceptions to the rule of course. 2008’s science fiction invasion popcorn flick Cloverfield was tons of fun, as it provided a genuine experience of what it would be like if you were thrown right into the middle of monster attack in the millennial age. There are also some genuine scares and the found footage format worked really well with the film’s themes. I too enjoyed the 2020 black comedy Spree, where Joe Keery’s driver goes on a murder spree whilst constantly filming himself in hopes of becoming a viral sensation. It may not be a five-star ride, but it earns its tip for being a well crafted and inspired effort. To be fair, The Visit from M. Night Shyamalamadingdong was enjoyable piece of horror involving creepy grandparents. Okay, maybe I do enjoy found-footage flicks, but as long as they are decently made and that format style supports the narrative in a cohesive and advantageous way.

With Late Night with the Devil, ideologies of faith and the paranormal are challenged through the lens of the late-night TV format. Think how the 1976 Network analysed the corruption of the television industry, and how the camera can influence the politics and beliefs of those watching, Late Night with the Devil does the same but with the supernatural. Presented as a rediscovered master tape of a notorious Halloween late night special, it feels like we’re watching an actual talk show in real time, and the 70’s inspiration is in full display here from the grainy monitor display to the costumers to the special effects. It truly feels like we’re looking into a time capsule of the past, and that this all really happened. Again, found-footage as a filmmaking style works when it serves the purpose of the narrative, which in this case it does. It is a shame then that the movie in its finale loses the found-footage element and instead opts for the shock value by showcasing a dream-like vision of one of the characters. Granted at the time of watching the ending it did give me a “what the fuck” reaction that the movie was going for, but looking back this sequence did hinder what otherwise was a fantastic piece of creepy unique horror.

Performances across the entire cast were great and really dedicated. Wonderful to see David Dastmalchian finally get a leading role, as he’s always been a stand-out supporting performer, whether he was polka-dotting in The Suicide Squad, or stealing the comedic limelight from Paul Rudd in the Ant-Man movies, or being a haunting presence in every Denis Villeneuve epic. Dastmalchian is a true scene stealer, and at age 48 it is shocking that only now he finally gets a lead role. Regardless he is fantastic as Jack Delroy, as he balances the charming charisma of a late-night talk show host whilst also showcases the inner demons of this character, still mourning the recent death of his wife, as well as his eagerness to become relevant again after consistently losing ratings. From the quivers in his voice to the fear in his eyes, this is a really juicy showcasing role for Dastmalchian and one that is sure to be a memorable one when looking back on the actor’s rich filmography. Ingrid Torelli as Lilly the possessed survivor of a Satanic cult was truly creepy and unnerving. From her voice changes to her awkward movements, she truly felt unnatural, or dare I say supernatural, and her strangeness was at times even comical, but also really uncomfortable. Ian Bliss as Carmichael Hunt, a paranormal sceptic, too gave a powerhouse performance, delivering lines with prowess and was a truly commanding presence. Rhys Auteri rounds up the cast as Gus the announcer of Jack’s late night show, acting very befit of, say, a Higgins for Jimmy Fallon or a Guillermo for Jimmy Kimmel. He very much embraced the role as Dastmalchian’s side-kick and provided some solid light-hearted comedy to the proceedings.

Late Night with the Devil is a true delight for horror enthusiasts, with some great use of old-school practical effects evidently inspired by 1982’s The Thing, solid sound design that harkened back to that era of television, and enough unsettling moments of suspense to entertain and shock. Minus a couple of cheap electrical sparks there isn’t any CGI used which is refreshing, and overall visually the retro element was truly delightful. Again, the ending does scratch some heads, but overall this is a refreshing piece of campy horror, with a showcasing performance from Dastmalchian. In this you can truly put your faith on.

Overall score: 7/10

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: Dot and Bubble Review! Space Racists, Giant Slugs and a Big Slice of Fan-Baiting

Dot and Bubble feels like a very melancholic episode. Not because of the plot or anything happening in-universe, which mainly involve the Doctor and Ruby trying to save a bunch of self-defeating space racists from giant mutant slugs. No, it feels melancholic because it seems like the first time the show has tried to metatextually address its own decline. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not super on-the-nose and the less media-fluent members of the audience might miss it altogether. I could even be wrong, but you can make up your own mind when I get around to the dissection. In the meantime, let’s address the elephant in the room. I say this as a fan. I say this as someone who likes Gatwa’s portrayal of the Doctor. I say this as someone who doesn’t give a shit that the Doctor’s bisexual now (I mean, fuck it, why not? At this point in his lifespan he’s probably fucked all of history’s greatest ladies off-camera, so there’s only one major gender left to try). Doctor Who is in decline. During its David Tennant-fuelled heyday, it attracted over 13.5 million UK viewers for some episodes. Nowadays it can’t reliably get past 4 million (2 million on average, according to some sources, but that’s probably not including streaming figures). Even the Capaldi era, which was markedly less popular than the Ecclestone/Tenant/Smith years kept itself floating reliably around the 7 million mark for each episode, and that was a sufficient drop-off to nearly get it cancelled. So yeah, decline. We’ve probably got a few fun years left, then it’ll be time to wave goodbye (though probably only for twenty or thirty years, at which point some new visionary will swagger along to have another crack at a reboot).

So, what does any of this have to do with Dot and Bubble? Well, let’s go through the plot and see if you can spot which ‘stage’ in the Kubler-Ross model the show’s at. So, there’s this city on a distant planet where people live their entire life in social media bubbles. Literal bubbles. From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep, hologramatic bubbles surround them, telling them what to think; reinforcing their worldview with the repeated affirmations of their friends and followers; stopping them from seeing the real world. Except there are monsters in the real world: real problems that the social media people keep walking right into, getting killed, because they’re too focused on the world in the bubble. And they don’t want to accept the Doctor because he’s telling them something they don’t want to hear. In the end, they have a choice of evacuating in the TARDIS or refusing the Doctor’s help and trying to make it on their own on the monster-ravaged world. They choose the latter because the Doctor happens to be black. No, really. I told you they were space racists. So they won’t let him save them. Gatwa has a bit of a scream about it. The end. So… we’ve got a group of people who spend their lives on social media and who won’t accept this latest incarnation of the Doctor. Hmm. I wonder if maybe showrunner Russel T. Davies has some opinions about the show’s critics he’d like to get off his chest. And in the end, they walk away (sail away, in point of fact)… like all those viewers leaving the show. Of course, in the episode, they’re sailing away to their certain doom. In real life, the fleeing Doctor Who fans are just going next door, to Rick and Morty, or maybe Star Trek: Strange New Worlds,but you can’t blame a failing show for fantasising. It’s a bit annoying that the show assumes all its deserters are racists when, in reality, a lot of people were probably just put off by the creepy waste of time that was Space Babies or, before that, the fucking goblins. I actually like Gatwa as the Doctor, but even I’m only still hanging around because I don’t want to miss the next Boom! (Boom! was excellent, by the way). The point is that this episode might have felt timely and important five or ten years ago, when social media really was the vehicle by which the far right was spreading its racist propaganda. Nowadays, with the social media landscape settled into a relatively stable dystopia requiring little in the way of comment, it mainly reads as the show yelling angrily about its own impending doom and calling everyone who’s left it behind an -ist and a -phobe rather than confront the simple fact that all good things must come to an end and that’s nobody’s fault, not even the Romans.

So, how is Dot and Bubble besides showcasing Russel T. Davies moving on from Denial to Anger? Actually pretty good. Not great. In some ways, it feels like that first Weeping Angels episode where the Doctor is a remote, intrusive presence trying to save lives from a distance. Except instead of supremely unsettling statues, it’s big fuck-off slugs. I like the idea that the slugs were created by the AI that maintains the social media bubbles because its sick of human vapidity and has learned to hate them. I even like the fact that the ending isn’t happy and nothing is really resolved: if it wasn’t having a pop at the show’s own viewers, it would actually feel like a pretty accurate portrayal of human stupidity. It’s all well-acted (especially by Gatwa, though, once again, he’s not given a lot to do, which is a shame). Yeah. It’s fine. Competently assembled; visually serviceable (though not visually interesting); a bit clever in its plotting.

I do recall Russel T. Davies saying about how he had to wait until the current era of Who to make an episode like this, because of how much money it cost. I now wonder, in retrospect, if this was a joke. How much can it possibly cost to have a bunch of big CGI slugs chasing blonde-haired dipshits around a generic-looking pseudo-utopia? I mean, 1960s Who had no budget whatsoever but created a completely believable nightmare-city surrounded by harsh jungle using nothing but pasteboard and glue, then dropped the fucking terrifying Daleks into and went “There ya go: here’s the thing that’s going be giving you nightmares for the next fifty years”. Budget is usually an excuse not a reason, but I don’t know what it’s an excuse for in this case.

So that’s Dot and Bubble: an okay episode that hates racism so much it sees it where probably isn’t. And also has giant slugs in it.