#Dating Talk

[gettothedancing]

Lila Rose, founder and president of the non-profit Live Action, was a guest on "Dating Talk" and had the opportunity to ask J. Waller some questions about his refusal to be monogamous. He says he just isn't wired that way, and he spent the better part of his 20s trying to change, but it just didn't happen. He will never commit to just one woman.

"But you're a man of self-control. You work out, you do business. You possess your own power and direct it the way you want to direct it," Lila says.

"It's not how I am," he says, not even making eye contact with her.

"You think that might be a limited mindset?" she responds.

He becomes visibly angry at the line of questioning and launches into a tirade of ad hominem insults rather than actually defending his position.

"I think it's none of your business," he snaps. "I don't want you to think I'm triggered by you, I'm not. I saw somebody say that, and I think that's interesting. I think you're annoying, but I'm not triggered. You are, you're annoying, in like this goody-two-shoes type way, and that's fine. I'm going to live my life on my terms, unapologetically, truly, so you can ask me this 85 different ways. At the end of the day, I'm going to walk out of here the same man."

Lila simply smiles and allows him to insult her, knowing that she has taken the high road and has clearly struck a nerve. Throughout the conversation, he is never able to make eye contact with her and is slouched over the microphone. Many people online identify his behavior and body language as a person who is not fully confident in his own beliefs and decisions. Meanwhile, Lila is sitting straight up and doesn't appear to be phased, not even by his insults.

[gumy-shark]

50K HN… THE LOANS…

[historyisastory]

I'm curious - how do you meet and come to talk abt kinky stuff? Someone you didn't meet on tumblr?

Hi there, and thanks for the ask.

I posted an ask/answer yesterday about some of the ways I meet the people I date. (In person, usually. At events and such usually.) But your other questions is actually more interesting to me.

If I've met someone on Tumblr (and I have), I know something about their interests and kinks. If I meet someone at a gallery opening, we have the art to talk about, and all the usual "getting to know you" stuff - but sometimes the "kinky conversation" can be hard or awkward at first.

My basic approach is to wait till we find out that the attraction is mutual and that we are going to do something about it. Then it can be part of a broader conversation of "what do you like in bed?" rather than "what are your kinks?" And since I tend to be older than the girls I date, there's often a fairly natural "I take the lead" flavor to the conversation(s).

There are some really fun ways to explore those issues. If you want to talk about them, lmk.

--Professor J

[pangur-and-grim]

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

[prlssprfctn]

I think it would be so fucking funny if Bruce and Jason constantly treated Gotham (city) like a real person, and spoke about it in a strange, codependent way. Like, hearing this without a context definitely feels like they are talking about their girlfriends or something. And the rest of the family is, like, concerned.

Dick, just adopted: So, when I was in circus, we constantly travelled around! That's, like, so cool! Will we travel a lot, too?

Bruce, sighing: I used to, but she keeps calling for me. I can't really leave her alone.

Dick, confused: Your girlfriend?..

Bruce: What?

Bruce: Gotham.

Dick: whoa, WHAT

Bruce, sitting with a half-smile and little cake on the table: Good morning

Tim, who only used to see Bruce depressed during the whole year: Woah, it is someone's birthday?

Bruce: Of course. It is her day

Tim: Uh-h... Catwoman's?

Bruce: What? No, no, Gotham's?

Tim: ...What the hell. Sure.

Then Jason comes back, assured that he and Gotham are locked like that. They are besties. Gotham loves him — she brought him back. The rest of the family genuinely starts to think that both of them are specifically fucked up in the head on the level others aren't.

Jason: My life was rough, but she was here when I needed her the most. Her hands cradled me in life — then death. I am so grateful.

Damian, confused: Are you speaking of my mother, Todd?

Jason: Talia is great, but I meant Gotham.

Damian: Gotham?..

Bruce, passing by: Isn't she the best?

Jason: Hate to agree with old man, but, yeah.

Damian: *_*

Roy, staring at Jason, who is complaining on Bruce again after a patrol: Remind me again, why can't you work in another city? Even country. You love France. Move out!

Jason, frowning: There is no way I am leaving her.

Kori, confused: Her? You got a girlfriend?

Jason: ???

Jason: GOTHAM??? I AM TALKING ABOUT GOTHAM.

Kori: ...

Roy: Crowbar crowbar-ed a little close to the sun?

The Batfamily: (Voting to which city/country they want to have their family trip)

Dick, counting down anonymous voices: Alright, two votes for China. Three for Italy. One vote for Spain. And...

Dick, with his eye twitching: Two votes for Gotham. Really?

Everyone: (turn to Bruce and Jason)

Bruce and Jason, synchronically: Okay, hear me out—

[glitterfairy-21225]

Francesca Bridgerton really info dumped about her special interest to John Stirling and he said, “I can’t think of anything witty to say in response but I can leave abruptly to give her a grand gesture relating to what she just told me.”

And Francesca really said, “I’m so grateful I literally cannot wait to perform this piece. I’m gonna leave abruptly even though both my suitors are in front of me.”

This is the kind of autistic x autistic relationship I dream about.

[sexkittenlove32]

Iam looking Still looking to chat with any hot men like u @sexymanred32

[rosekasa]

contrary to popular belief i think a ladybug dakimakura would he where chat draws the line. yes he can have a shrine for her in his bedroom but a daki feels inappropriate.

so obviously ladybug responds to this discomfort by personally designing and gifting him the most outrageous ladybug dakimakura. and like. what is he meant to do. it's a gift from his lady. he accepts it but he refuses to make eye contact with it ever.

[stealingpotatoes]

it's funny whenever i post dinluke i always get comments along the lines of "why do people ship these two they only met once" and its like bestie. babygirl. ok first off it's about the Themes™/dynamics/potential, not how many times they've met in "canon" and 2. when i was a teenager the biggest ship in my favourite fandom was two guys who'd never even interacted and you think its weird people ship two guys that acually met?? in real life canon?? they literally made eye contact, that's like the fanon-shipping equivalent of third base

[knightoflodis]

Seeing people talk about attraction and how hot/attractive people never go for unattractive people or they only go after certain stereotypes or insert whatever cliche here, makes me so glad that I am grey ace and have given up on the dating world. I think a good percentage of that stuff is lies because everyone is different when it comes to what they find attractive and what they look for in a partner. And all that kind of talk does is ruin the morale of people and make people feel even lonelier. I remember before I realized I was grey ace how lonely I felt and how frustrated I was because no one seemed interested in me and I couldn’t get any dates. Like. Yeah sure I am awkward and weird as hell so that probably keeps some people away. But I am also just fucking blind and I didn’t get out much so that lessened the dating pool further. Life is easier just not worrying about that stuff. Though. I do still feel lonely sometimes. I don’t dwell on it as much. Also. It’s so much easier, for me anyway, when I stopped listening to the advice of others for dating and stopped trying to push myself in ways that was just heavily against my nature in order to find someone. Trying to actively look for someone just messed with my head, made me act crazy, and just made me miserable. Now. I think I would just rather have friends. No more acting. No more forcing. Just being me. And if someone wants more from me. They have to tell me.

[ki11ustr4tions]

Jazzy and vega !

Not gfs they just like doing favors for eachother sometimes...

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Wyllstarionnnn

[tortor-sauce]

‼️cw // suggestive

how obm probably would’ve gone if i used a self insert instead of an oc

[lilacgaby]

katsuki being a pr nightmare? nothing new.

he didn't spare people his thoughts, cursing his way through the press and speaking his true feelings constantly. it's why he was liked, it was his unique charm they'd say.

but this time, a dating scandal had come out. well, more of a romance one.

his private twitter was leaked, one he'd mostly use to detail his feelings on the day. among the dozens of posts that were expectedly vulgar and self assured, recent ones stuck out.

over fan posts of you, a model he seemed to have been a huge fan of for a while. it became evident just how much of a loser he was. he'd quote them with small words like, "i bet her parents high five when they see her face," or "she looks just as good as prime all might did."

his name was trending heavily the next day, he was noticeably annoyed, now he'd have to make a whole new spam! he was called by his agency, which he expected.

though as he walked in, he did not expect to see you, golden with the afternoon sun and greeting him with a warm, smile. not a practiced one you'd use for photo shoots, no. he could tell the difference.

his manager cleared their throat, signaling for him to sit down before they started.

"i think we should capitalize of these crushes of yours."

he grew big eyed, looking at you now from the corner of his eye.

you felt the same way??

taglist: @k0z3me @darhinadadragon @maddietries @i-the-fluffo @uy242c @irenne-stans

[serapheseraphim]

People really need to stop talking about aromantic people in such a way to suggest we need to, like, make up for our lack of romantic attraction? This ties into the whole "aromantic people can still date" and "aromantic people can have qprs" and "aromantic people still feel strong platonic love" pattern I keep seeing where it's as if people are trying to say "don't worry, they can still be mostly normal" and it is so frustrating to me as a non-partnering aromantic person and is likely even worse for aplatonic and loveless aros.

[zephyrchama]

It was late evening when your DDD started ringing. An unusual time for someone to call unless they were either drunk or in mortal peril. This occasion happened to be the latter.

Karasu's caller ID flashed a photo of Luke across the screen after the first ring. The angel was always early to bed and early to rise and never called without good reason, so you scrambled to answer, moving so fast that your finger slipped and you initially missed the right button.

"Hello?" you said. It took a moment for the call to connect.

"Hi... Sorry, umm, is now a good time?"

Luke sounded close to tears. He was trying to keep himself composed for your sake, but the distressed warble in his voice betrayed him. By the sound of things, he wasn't in his bedroom. He wasn't even in the living room or kitchen of Purgatory Hall. It was somewhere small, where his voice echoed off the walls.

"Luke, are you okay? Where are you?"

You recognized the sound of splashing water when he sniffled just before responding, "I'm in the bath."

It was an odd answer, but at least he was somewhere safe. So, why was he crying?

"Did Solomon feed you anything weird?"

"No, that's not it." Luke took a deep breath and winced. The sounds of agitated water accompanied his explanation. "You see... Simeon got a new shampoo that smells like cloudberries, and I really wanted to try some. Just a little bit, honest! But it came out of the bottle really fast, and it fell into my eyes." The crying began in earnest. "It really hurts and now I can't get it out of my eyes and Simeon's going to find out I used his shampoo without asking."

You felt slightly thankful that Solomon wasn't using the little angel as his food taster, but his small sobs over such a small matter made your heart ache.

"I'm going blind as punishment for stealing Simeon's shampoo," he confessed.

"Hey! Hey, no you're not! It's going to be okay!" you assured him. "You're not going to go blind. Listen. Turn on the faucet and try to splash some clean water in your eyes. Also, keep crying."

The sound of a running faucet could be heard through the phone. "Why? Will my tears prove that I'm repenting and weaken the punishment?"

"It'll... uh, yeah? Yeah, sure. It will also rinse the shampoo out of your eye so they stop stinging, but it'll do that, too."

There was a soft thud as Luke set his DDD down, followed by several minutes of loud splashing noises and weeping. He was having a tough time. You tried to be encouraging, unsure if he could hear you or not, by chiming in with the occasional "you're doing great!" and "hang in there!"

The tears came to a stop and Luke turned the faucet off. There was a beat of silence, followed by him exclaiming from afar, "it worked!"

He picked the phone back up. "It worked! I can see again! It doesn't hurt as much! Thank you! I'm so glad I called." The boy sounded like he was crying again, this time in relief. He had his usual cheery demeanor back.

"Everything OK now?"

"Yeah! I really owe you. I have to go tell Simeon what I did now, but I'll properly thank you tomorrow at school."

You wondered what sort of treats he would present. A drain popped open and you heard the water swirling away. Your muscles were still tense from concern, but the emergency had been swiftly dealt with.

"Glad I could help. Be sure to get lots of sleep, okay? You need to rest your eyes."

You could tell Luke was nodding even if you couldn't see him. "Got it!"

"Good night, Luke."

"Good night!"