#Daniel stopwatch

[just-some-normal-jessica]

woe. jon character lineup be upon ye

individual sillies under the cut

[vilnmelling]

Jon Matteson family tree headcanon, anyone?

Emma found out about each of Paul's relatives separately.

First Emma scratched someone's car, and while they were discussing what to do about it, Paul said, "If it comes down to it, I can get in contact with Gary." "Gary Goldstein? You're on a first name basis with the only lawyer in town?" "Yeah. He's my older brother."

A couple of weeks later, Emma's talking about the rare instances when she actually remembers something about the Beanie's customers, and she mentions a guy with really weird and greasy, anime-like hair. "Huh. I didn't know Richie liked Beanie's." "Who?" "Richie. My nephew. With the anime hair."

An ad for Camp Idontwannabang comes up on TV, and Emma recalls her horrible summer at Camp Idontwannabang as a teenager. Then Paul pulls out the, "I'm glad I never had to go. My cousin's one of the counselors — well, one of the directors now — so my parents decided I shouldn't have to spend an entire summer with him." "Boy Jerry's your fucking cousin?"

While on their way somewhere, they run into Daniel outside the Roller-rama. Emma's like, "God, I feel like I've seen that kid outside the Roller-rama ten times." "Yeah, Daniel goes there a lot." "Why the fuck do you know his name?" "He's my other nephew."

Finally, Paul brings Emma to a family gathering, where she spots the identical Lipschitz twins, who she's always assumed to be the same person when she's seen them separately. "There's TWO of them?" "Yeah, that's Trevor. My third nephew."

Skip forward another few weeks and there's something on the news about politics and so forth. "That secretary of defense looks a bit like you, Paul. What's he; another secret brother?" "No." "Yeah, I know, I'm just messing—" "Wallace is my cousin."

[summon-us-once]

I love the hc that all of Jon’s characters are related cause on one hand you’ve got this loser anime dweeb but in the other you have this unhinged lawyer. But then you’ve also got the most basic guy to ever exist then you have some kid with super powers AND you also have a religious virgin with a murderous inhumane son who lives in the woods, and I’m not even going to include what might happen if you try involve wiggly somehow. It’s just so crazy (I love it so much)

[jamie-is-out-of-ideas]

everyone in the hatchetfield fandom coming to the conclusion that all of the human characters played by Jon Matteson are related is probably my favourite thing about this fandom /pos

[wardback]

I made a thing

The jon matteson alignment chart

[bazzleman]

the magical kids ever honestly

[second-best-sibling]

Hatchetfield as text posts part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

[aliceisaperson]

It honestly makes me kind of sad that I never hear anyone really talk about Daniel outside of the Jon Matteson family tree thing. I mean he’s just a little adorable guy and I love him and we should talk about him more

[rockrosethistle]

save me, Gen Z Hatchetfield characters...Gen Z Hatchetfield characters save me....

[justtrashperson]

for doodles: your jon matteson cinematic universe interacting because im actually so obsessed with them

You’re giving me an opportunity to explain my new hc and dynamic ideas so here we go

+ bc some people on my last jon matteson-verse post said it would make sense (and funny), Boy Jerry and Gary are now twins. But they don’t really like each other

+ on the other hand bc of Jon’s newest lore drop about Trevor, Richie n Trevor are twins now and Daniel (stopwatch) is their little brother (or cousin idk)

+ meanwhile Paul is too much of an Only Child™️ to me but he still get caught up by the family’s mess

This family is a mess man, family gathering is wild

Bonus:

Wiggly overseeing this family:

[wigglys-dikrats]

i want to put all of jon’s characters in a glass terrarium and occasionally add apple slices dusted with calcium to watch all the little jons scamper to the nourishment

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

This is a Jon Matteson appreciation post. From Paul to Wiggly to Boy Jerry to Richie to everyone in between, his range and specificity are incredible. His work is so lived-in and nuanced without losing any of the zany humor at the core of Starkid. I always love watching him and I can't wait to see what he does in the future.

[willczek-art]

Canttt draw but it's not like that ever stopped me before

[moosha-mushroom]

Saw someone talking about Jon being typecast as blue… so I compiled a collection of his characters, and whaddya know? Perfect rainbow 🌈

Blue is his best color tho 💙🩵

[jamie-is-out-of-ideas]

haven’t posted a hatchedfield head canon in a hot minute but so here’s some (spoiler alert: it’s mostly Jon Matteson characters)

-Daniel Stopwatch absolutely wears light up sketchers

-Gary Goldstein tells you the time by saying shit like “it’s a quarter past eight.”

-Gary Goldstein flips people off by pushing his glasses up with his middle finger.

-The first anime Richie ever watched was robotech

-Grace Chastity’s bike has a pink basket on the front and streamers on the handle bars.

-Paul’s favourite video game is VR Job Simulator.

-Max and Steph the type of people to troll kids on roblox (the nerdy prudes are too but just Max and Steph specifically would I feel)

-Charlotte Sweetly 100% listens to Laufey while drinking wine and staring out the window

-Ruth would absolutely love Chappell Roan’s music

-Trevor and Rudolph dates mostly just involve them walking around talking about stupid stuff and then getting lost in a forest for about an hour

-As a kid I remember playing this one “kid’s bible game” where you had to like spot the difference or find something in the background or something and I feel like that’s the only video game Grace would ever play.

-Miss Holloway would also absolutely love Chappell Roan

-Richie’s favourite Pokémon is Evee just because of the vast multitude of ways Evee can evolve and stuff like that character metaphor blah blah blah

-Richie hates the ultra violet monster energy but drinks a shit ton of it cause the cans are his favourite colour and he likes collecting them.

[royall-ass]

happy birthday to the only man ever