#DYIing this shit as always
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umilily · 10 months ago
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my mental health is held together by copious amounts of duct tape
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marsuni · 1 year ago
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ngl having lived in the deep Appalachian south, and being born/raised in nyc, I've realized a lot of what people consider 'hick' and 'ghetto' are similar, the context is just different in city vs country
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xylophxn · 4 months ago
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introducing my nerdy prudes must die oc !
I figured out npmd missed a big emo looser soo there you go I created one
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his name is luke houston (he/him) and he's the son of becky barnes and tom houston. they are weirdly very supportive of him
he :
× is a goth looser
× has adhd
× failed graduation once and all his friend left so he's "hanging out" with the groupe (hanging out meaning being a creep and luring around them)
× used to have a crush on Pete (did not enjoy that part of his life) (he maybe still does a bit but will never admit it even on his death)
× was a scene kid
× introduced hatsune miku to richie
× is a weeb (or was a weeb but once a weeb always a weeb) (forever, forever)
× scares everyone in hatchetfield high by making them think he is a creepy weird vampire with dark vibes and practicing satanism rituals but he is actually just a goof (a weird one thought)
× pretends to be a tough and mysterious guy
× never really got physically bullied cause no one is comfortable around him (he does succeed at scaring everyone) plus he flirts with every man that is trying to bully him (including max) and makes everyone inconfortable as shit
× is adored by the gang (and he loves the gang but will never admit it)
× showed ruth "the rocky horror picture show" (it did not end well)
× wears a ton shit of eyeliner
× has greasy and badly dyied black hair
× has one piece of trad goth clothing that he wears religiously like three times a week
× has a strap of red in his hair
× wears completely destroyed military boots with purple laces (he is gay)
× draws badly
× is fascinated by grace
× loves to mess with steph and she loves to mess with him (they could have been besties fr)
× calls pete "glasses" even though he wears exactly the same type of glasses when he doesn't have contacts
× knows every weird sub genre of goth/rock and also know every (bad) indie horror film (yeah he is that guy)
× is a nerdy prude
× is a gatekeeper
× has an enormous ego
× agrees with grace about max being hot but only after he was transformed into a ghost (he is a creep)
× wears black nailpolish
× stinks
× smokes
× met paul once at richie's and asked for his number
× dies last in the forest just before the ritual (poor boy he would have loved all the lord in blacks lore)
× could have been a drag queen
× has a eddie munson vibe kind off but make it weirder and 2014 stinky tumblr goth
× he was the first one being accused of the murders
I love him
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q-gorgeous · 2 years ago
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Bleeding Colors
fanfiction
ao3
word count: 2175
Soulmate Au where after your soulmate dies, you can only see in black and white. As in you see normal colors until they die and then only in black and white for the rest of your life, so you only ever know if you had a soulmate once it's too late. Except Character A’s (up to you who you want it to be) soulmate is Danny. While Danny is in Phantom form, character A’s vision is in black and white, but returns to normal color when Danny is Fenton. Character A is going crazy trying to find their soulmate who keeps dying and getting resurrected. @ghostboidanny
heres an old work of mine that also helped inspire this new fic :D its a fic with the same concept. its titled Colors and so i thought id give this one a similar name jhugyf
soulmate au boogaloo 
Dash walked back to the locker room with the rest of the guys after football practice was over. Coach was extra hard on them today and Dash could smell it. 
He made his way to his locker and grabbed his body wash and shampoo and his bag with his regular clothes and a towel. It was one of those days where he absolutely needed a shower immediately after practice. There was no way he was going home smelling like this. 
He found an empty shower stall and set his stuff down, pulling the curtain closed. He undressed and turned the water on. He was squeezing some shampoo into his hands when something started happening. 
The color started bleeding out of everything. At first he thought it was the lighting, the lights went out, maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. But the color faded from every single thing in the room. In his panic, he slipped on the wet floor and dropped his bottle of shampoo. 
“Haha.” He heard Keith laugh at him from another shower stall. “You know what they say, Dash. Don’t drop the soap.”
He could hear the guys laugh at him from their shower stalls. His curtain got pulled back and Kwan was standing there.
“You know what that means in our locker room.” Kwan looked at him with a serious expression on his face. “Time for the torture of a tickle fight.” He waggled his fingers in the air at Dash. After a moment, Kwan’s brows furrowed as he looked at him.
“Dash, are you okay?”
Dash made eye contact with Kwan and took a few deep breaths.
“The color drained out of my vision. It’s all gone. Everything is in black and white now.”
The laughter of the guys around him stopped and everyone was silent.
“Shit, man.” Keith said quietly. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 
Everyone gave Dash their condolences and went back to their showers quietly. Kwan still stood by his open curtain. 
“Will you be okay?” He asked.
Dash nodded. “Yeah. I don’t think I ever got the chance to meet them. At least I’m not losing someone that I already knew. That would make it-”
Dash was startled into silence when he saw the color start to seep back into everything. He stared around him as everything went back to the way it had always been. 
“It’s back. They didn’t die.” 
Kwan sighed in relief and the other guys cheered.
Pulling the curtain closed again, Kwan walked away. Dash went back to his shower. He picked up the shampoo bottle off the ground and clicked the cap shut. 
What happened? Was his soulmate sick? How did they die and come back to life?
Dash considered himself lucky. It would have sucked if he went his whole life without meeting his soulmate. He’s glad they’re okay. They still had a chance. 
-----
Dash didn’t know what was going on. He felt like he was losing his goddamn mind. 
It had been two months since the first time his soulmate died. And it had happened everyday since then. Often more than once a day! What the hell was going on?
At first he had asked around school. You haven’t died recently, have you? You haven’t been having a lot of near death experiences, right? But the more it kept happening, the more he realized that his soulmate wasn’t anyone that he knew. He didn’t know anyone that would have these serious health conditions that would cause them to be dying every single day. 
That was how he got this idea.
He looked at where Fenton, Manson, and Foley sat on the other side of the cafeteria, eating their lunches. They knew people he didn’t. Maybe they would know something. 
He walked over towards their table and stopped behind where Manson and Foley sat. Fenton looked up at him and Dash waited until the other two turned around to face him.
“What do you want, Dash?” Manson snapped, glaring up at him. 
Dash swallowed. He’d never admit how much she actually intimidated him. He just had to push forward and get the information he was looking for. 
“You guys seem like you’re into some freaky shit. Do you know any kids who keep getting raised from the dead?”
Fenton looked like Dash had grown a second head. Manson and Foley stared at him with similar expressions. 
“No, Dash. We don’t know any zombies.” Manson said.
“Haha. I’m being serious. Are there any kids doing weird occult things, kids with health issues whose heart keeps stopping, are there any kids from Casper High who are in the hospital right now?”
“Why?” Fenton asked. 
Dash pressed his lips together. Did he want to tell them that he was trying to figure out who his soulmate was? Did he want to give them that information?
He didn’t debate on it for long before he caved. 
“I’m actually trying to find my soulmate.” He said honestly. “Everyday a couple times a day my vision goes black and white before it goes back to normal again. I don’t know if my soulmate has some serious health problems or if they’re into some really weird shit, but I want to try and find them before they inevitably end up croaking.”
The trio was silent for a few seconds before Foley bursted out laughing.
Dash flushed. “What? Wouldn’t you want to try to find your soulmate if it looked like they were going to die soon?”
“Shut up, Tucker!” Manson hissed at him. She turned to face him again. “Sorry, Dash but we don’t know anyone like that.” 
Dash looked from Foley to Manson and then to Fenton. For some reason Fenton had turned as red as a tomato. 
“Are you guys sure?” Dash asked.
Fenton nodded meekly. “Like Sam said, we don’t know any zombies.” He squeaked out. 
Dash’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. “Thanks anyways.” 
He started walking away from them. He could hear hushed whispers behind him but he didn’t pay them any mind. 
Maybe his soulmate wasn’t even in Amity Park. If neither the geeks nor him and his friends knew a person like this from Casper High, maybe they just weren’t here. 
It dawned on him that with how things seemed to be going with his soulmate's health, it was likely they’d never get to meet. Dash resigned himself to the fact that he’d probably be seeing in black and white for the rest of his life very soon. 
——-
Dash was starting to notice something. 
It seemed like every time his soulmate was having health issues, dying or whatever was happening, was correlated to when Fenton would leave their classroom. Somehow. 
It couldn’t be Fenton. Fenton was as healthy as he could be. Sure, he could be healthier or more in shape, but he wasn’t sick or anything. No, something else was going on.
Maybe Fenton was secretly beating up his soulmate. Beating them to the point that they almost died. But how did they always come back to life? It didn’t make sense. None of it made any sense.
But that was why Dash decided to follow Danny the next time he went to the bathroom. That would be his chance to see what was happening out here when his soulmate was always dying. 
Danny ran out the door and Dash stood up and started following after him without so much of a thought to Lancer.
“Mr. Baxter, where are you going?” He asked.
“I, uh, also have to use the bathroom.”
Dash ran out before Lancer could protest and looked for Danny. 
He saw him turn a corner down the hallway and Dash started running. He couldn’t let Danny out of his sight. He needed to know what the boy was doing every time he left the classroom. He needed to know if it was related to his soulmate or not. 
Dash turned the corner that Danny went around just in time to see him go into a janitor’s closet. Why was he going in there? Did he and Sam meet to make out in there? Gross. Wait, if this was related to the whole soulmate thing it couldn’t be Sam. She was also healthy and didn’t look very close to dying all the time. 
Dash reached the door and pulled it open just in time to hear Danny yell. 
“Going ghost!” 
Dash’s eyes opened wide as he stared at Danny. A white ring appeared around his waist and split into two. They traveled up and around him, disappearing as they went over his head and feet and there in front of Dash stood Phantom.
Danny Phantom. 
As those rings had traveled along Danny’s body, the color faded from his view once more. Everything faded to black and white. Then Danny turned around and met Dash’s eyes, his own opening wide.
They were a bright, electric green. It was the only color left in the bleak, monotone world that had been replaced when Danny transformed. 
Tucker’s laughter from the day he asked them if they knew anyone who was being raised from the dead replayed in his head. All he could do was stare. 
“You? It’s you?”
“Dash-”
The building rumbled around them and Dash could hear someone scream from somewhere in the school. Danny’s face hardened. 
“I have to go. We can talk later.”
Dash watched as he flew away, phasing through the ceiling and out of sight. 
Danny Fenton was Danny Phantom. He was his soulmate. 
-----
Dash laid in his bed in his room later that night. Danny had never come back to class that day. Dash couldn’t help but feel like he was avoiding him.
He couldn’t blame him. If he was some nerd that found out the guy that bullied him at school everyday for years was his soulmate, he’d be pretty upset about it too. Danny probably thought that the world was playing some kind of cruel prank on him. 
The colors in his vision had come and gone all day since Danny transformed. He must’ve been off fighting ghosts. Right now Dash was surrounded by the bleak grayness of his room. Danny must’ve been transformed right now. What was he doing? Was he fighting ghosts? 
Dash was staring up at the ceiling when suddenly Phantom’s head was poking through the wall above his face.
“Ahh!” Dash shouted. He sat up suddenly as he tried to back away but he only accomplished knocking his and Danny’s foreheads together. 
“Ow!” Danny shouted. He phased the rest of the way through the wall as he held one of his hands to his face. He floated upside down in the air as he rubbed his forehead. 
“Sorry!” Dash said, rubbing his own forehead. That hurt. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be right there so suddenly.” 
“Yeah I guess that’s my fault.” Danny turned himself right side up and sat cross legged in the air. “I probably should’ve sent you a text before just showing up.”
They sat and stared at each other. Danny said they would talk later, and now it was later, but what were they even going to talk about?
“So you’re my soulmate, huh?” Danny said.
Dash fidgeted on his bed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
They sat in silence again. It made Dash twitchy and uncomfortable. He didn’t know what they were supposed to talk about.
“What now?” He blurted out. Danny gave him a quizzical look. 
“It’s not like we have to suddenly be together just because we’re soulmates.” Danny said. “We can at least start with being nice to each other and see where it takes us.”
“Oh.” Dash nodded. That sounded manageable. “Okay.”
“Unless you want to be together?” Danny gave him a sly grin.
“What?” Dash squeaked out.
“Sam and Tucker told me that you’re like, Phantom’s biggest fan even though you never got the chance to see me in my ghost form before.”
How did they know that? He thought he was pretty chill about Phantom!
Danny waved off whatever expression Dash was making at him. “Relax, I’m just teasing you. Haha.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Anyways, if we’re gonna just start with being nice to each other, we could go to my house and play some video games?” 
“Sure!” Dash stood up. “I’ll whip your ass at them though.”
“You better not, I won’t back down from a challenge.”
Now eye level with Danny, Dash stared at his eyes. They were still that electric green. 
“What?” Danny asked.
“Your eyes.” Dash said in wonder. “They’re green. They’re the only color I can see right now.” 
“Oh. That’s neat. They do say that eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“Yeah, the window to your soul telling me you’re not actually dead.” 
Danny threw his head back and barked out a laugh. “Ha! That was a good one. Now come on, if you beat me at Mario Kart I’ll let you stay for dinner. My mom’s making homemade mashed potatoes tonight.” 
“You’re on.”
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carli-meows · 1 year ago
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i was listening to one of my albums i made in like 2016 or whatever and there's these segments in between songs where i took violent j from his biography (behind the paint) and just bitcrush him and made him into a weird max headroom and i thought it was funny
it kinda was especially the one right before Stressed Out X My Name Is (Twenty-one Pilot's and Eminem mashup) where i beatbox to his JJ Boys rap and he has a whole rant that goes like this,
"We're the JJ Boys on the microphone stand, and we're kicking it live with a faygo in our hand- Master T's on the table, now working in the stable and on his 'Didas jacket is the faygo label! This part of rhyme is for Jagged Joe, when I'm on the mic, I steal the show! All my girliefriends chasing me down the hall, I don't smoke dope or drink alcohol! This part of the rhyme is for Kangol Joe, known to the crew as the leader of the show! Kangol on his head, Adidas on his feet, gold around his neck so that he looks like Mr. T! This last part is for Master J, he rocks on the mic and he sleeps all day! He's always drinking faygo and that's a fact, and if you got beef, better change your act!
That's the old school JJ Boys, yeaaahh, little rap for you, anyway- i-i-i-i-i-is Eminem a good rapper? C-Come on man, he's fuckin' unbelievably talent talent t-t-t-talent.
Does he deserve to be where he's at? A-A-A-AbsoFUCKINlu-lu-lu-lu-lutley. He is a pheno-NOMENAL MC, there's no- NO...
N-no dOUbt about it, and there's also NO-nono doubt that we have taken two completely different-ferent-ferent-ferent-ferent tr-tr-tr-trail trails to get to where were at, and Emine-emine-emine-emine-eminem knows our TRAIL is the respecta-re-respect-t-t-table route.
The blue-collar, ha-a-ardworking, DY Y Y Y Y- I route, b-bitch! DYI, what's that stand for (It's DIY)
DIY, MOTHERFU-FUC-UCKER UCKER MOTHERFUCKER! YEAH!"
none of this was written i think, since sometimes he just goes on tangents n shit in the audiobook version and i love it.
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chromaji · 1 year ago
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i had the shit scared out of me. always remember to stay humble everyone you never know when people will start dyi— KNIGHTHOOD NUMERO UNO ☝️☝️🔥🔥☝️ RRAAGHHHHH KNIGHTHOOD SWEEEPP
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anothertimdrakestan · 2 years ago
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My Home - Jason Todd x Reader
Request: @the-midnight-duck "hi! so i love ur work and i was wondering if i could request jason todd and the song hide by juice WRLD?"
"Don't look at me all shocked Drake, you should've known this was coming."
"I- I guess I did... but, Jason you're like insane. And now you're getting ready to propose? I mean, Y/N is great don't get me wrong but I guess I didn't think you'd ever settle down."
"Whatever bird brain, you're too young to get it."
"So explain it Jace."
"You know when you've had like an insane battle, and you're exhausted, and every bone in your body is aching to go home? My body aches for her. I'd run to her, that's home."
"Damn. What about all the partying and shit?"
"I don't miss them at all, they just were distractions to take the pain away but she does that. She lets me lose control and it's not scary, 'cuz I trust her always."
"So you're gonna like settle down Todd? House, kids, Red Hood all done?"
"Never said that. We don't know what we want or where we're going but it's fine. Two lost souls but we have each other so it doesn't matter. God you're so thick skulled sometimes Drake."
"And she's okay with all your... issues?"
"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"
"Like your night job, the trauma, you dyi-"
"She knows everything. And loves me through it."
"All your demons?"
"Every last one."
"Then you're damn lucky Jason. Sometimes it feels like girls like that are hard to find."
"You'll find your home soon Timbers. And once you do I swear you'll get what I'm talking about. It changes everything. Seriously. When I fight it's to protect her, her world. She gives me purpose."
"I'm gonna start recording this you softie."
"You know I'd kick your ass."
"Y/N wouldn't like that lover boy."
"Add it to the list. *Cocks gun*"
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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 2 years ago
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My thoughts on Stranger Things Season 4 finale:
spoilers
Those two episodes did NOT need to be as long as they were.  I mean I enjoyed it, but it felt overstuffed, and some scenes just dragged on.  The final “battle,” in particular, got ridiculous.  I know we’re meant to see all these events happening at the same time, probably in a matter of just a few minutes, but Steve, Robin and Nancy were getting strangled by vines for like 20 minutes.  It stretched on for so long that it started to lose impact.
I did not need to see Hopper decapitate a demogorgon with a sword just to prove what a badass he is.  He’s been proving his badassery the entire season.
Speaking of badass, way to go Nancy with a shotgun, and Joyce with a stunner.  You should have aimed for the head, Nancy.
Damn, I really thought Max was safe after the whole “Running up the hill” segment, I thought that was her climactic escape scene.  At least she’s still alive, for the moment.
Which is more than I can say for Eddie.  Goodnight, sweet rock-and-roll prince, flights of angels sing thee to thy totally bitchin’ rest.  It would have been nice to see him live, but there was just no way to see his name properly cleared.  He would have been screwed either way.
Lucas and Max, and Dustin and Eddie’s uncle absolutely broke my heart, the actors killed those scenes. 
Meanwhile, Jason got a horrific death that the show barely lingered on, holy shit.  The rift melted him in half!  Jason was a very unlikable character, but honestly?  Without him knowing what the other characters know, I can understand why he thinks Hellfire are the bad guys.  His biggest crimes are being willing to threaten kids just for being connected to Eddie (although at this point, they are all in high school, so he is really threatening classmates - it doesn’t help that the actor looks much older than the “kids”).  If this was a movie shot from his perspective, knowing only what he knows, it would be easy to see the Hellfire club as the bad guys.  All that being said, though, I wasn’t sorry to see him go.
Also - Eddie is now the scapegoat for the murders, and presumed dead, but are the police not looking into anything about the other Hellfire club members?  I know it was mostly Jason’s idea and town hysteria, but how does Lucas explain Max’s injuries and what they were doing in the attic?  Does he just say that Max’s injuries, his own injuries and Jason’s death are from the earthquake?  I’m surprised the kids aren’t getting more interrogation.  Of course, this is the same series where unarmed civilians and children keep outsmarting Russian soldiers, so I’ll suspend some disbelief.
Poor Johnathan was useless this season, but it wasn’t his fault he was largely separated from the action.  I loved his scene with Will in the pizza kitchen.
And also - Will is gay.  I mean, it’s blatantly obvious at this point.  That whole speech he gave to Mike, showing him the painting (which we know that El did NOT commission from him), talking about El’s feelings and “feeling different” in a way that was clearly talking about himself, looking out the window in tears while he says it.  And then Johnathan’s whole “You can tell me anything. I’ll always love you no matter what” speech later on.  I mean, it’s as obvious as it can get without someone flat-out saying the word “gay.” 
I would have been okay with Stranger Thing ending in Season 3, with Hopper’s actual death, but Season 4 was worth it just to see El’s reaction when he walks through the door.
I am still utterly over the Steve-Nancy-Johnathan thing, it’s just boring.  I’d rather see Nancy end up with neither of them.  Steve has changed, but it sounds like his dreams of a big family, don’t really line up with Nancy’s career ambitions.  Johnathan is lying to her about college.  She can just part on good terms with both of them and go her own way.
No matter how this ends, I don’t actually want any more main character deaths.  Killing any of the kids is too dark.  I’ve seen people speculating about Will dying next season and - really?  After all that kid has been through?  After all Joyce has been through?  This series is not even remotely realistic, and it’s generally used character deaths well when they happen, no need to get grimdark.  Let the main cast - both kids and adults, live happily in the end. 
Robin, Argyle and Murray are my break-out surprise favorites (Robin from last season, of course, but she continued to be fantastic this season.)  Argyle is the chill dude you want in an emergency, he just rolls with the punches.  Steve continues to be the best.
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xsharnxx · 4 years ago
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ANNOUNCEMENT!! I HAVE PART 2 OF THE SCROOGE POSSIBLY DYIING THEORY AND I AM VERY EXCITED FOR SOME REASON!!
Right you all know that Frank has come back with his answering questions thing.
Annnnddd some questions he has answered has pretty much backed up my theory on scrooge.
Now.. Finally.. I have made a part 2. Let us pull out the Frank answerrrrsss!!
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Okay so first of all.... Season 3 is specifically about legacy.. Now what is Legacy?
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Now for those who went and read part 1 first your probably seeing this and thinking: HOLY SHIT! cuz yeah thats exactly what I thought...
Of course it does also refer to the character development in the show.. But come on... Isn't this obvious?! The fact that if u search up legacy the very first thing that comes up is this!!
Not to mention the fact that Scrooge has already mentioned having a will!! Now i already talked about who scrooge would be leaving all of his things too. And yes I did say huey, duey and louie, but this would also be for his whole family! Including webby and Beakley. This show has always been about family, it's the most important part of the show. Frank has made that very clear, time and time again, and I think many of us overlook this.
Now onto the next Frank ask..
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Okay so I know this could be referring to maybe another emotional moment from Scrooge, but think back on the OOC quote "take care of your brother" In part 1 I had originally said that this could be Scrooge saying this to della. I have a feeling that this quote is definitely apart of Scrooge having an emotional moment. It would make sense, there a lot of other films or tv series where a quote like this is used in extremely emotional scenes. Finally! The pieces of this puzzle are starting to come together!
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Now... Let's just focus on the part that I circled.
Season 1: Past Season 2: Present Season 3: Future.
Throughout all of these seasons we have watched a lot of these characters find their place in where they belong. Find their family. And then it would go onto moving forward from then on. Now lets just say Scrooge were to die specifically for his family. They would all have to eventually move on from that and continue his legacy.....
This finale will end with them all moving forward to a new chapter.
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Okay this is just a little thing I wanted to add in. It's not much but you gotta admit the death of Scrooge would be one heck of a finale. Frank is practically saying that this finale is gonna be BIG!
It might even be the next most emotional episode. This finale could put that emotional sun chaser episode to shame...
So.. Is this the end of Scrooge mcduck? Who knows..
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crimson-creature · 3 years ago
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Finished Generation Kill.
As I'm sure a lot of people already said, I really appreciate the lack of score and music, other than at the end of the last episode and whatever we're singing along with at this moment.
No heroic music, no hearfelt score to mark the horrible moments. There's just whatever you bring with you, off key, imperfect, missing lyrics, helping to pass the time and lightening the atmosphere. But it's only there for the moment and then you're back in the shits.
It's kind of like with the supplies - you don't have enough, you DYI most of it and hope shit holds. A nice little piece of scotch tape to hold you all together. Gaffer tape, on a good day.
I would really like to make a post about all the thoughts I had while watching this series - the frustration, the horror, the way people show they care and how they notice others not being okay but can never just go and just say it - always doing some stupid shit to break the tension instead.
What this gave me - many thoughts about prejudices - both mine and the characters'. An impressively stupid collection of songs to sing along to. Anger at whatever the fuck we're doing out in the world.
Some life truths about shitting, I guess.
I'll definitely be rewatching this.
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kpopper · 4 years ago
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Not sure if you’re able to help with this but... with all the recent scandals about idols these days, how would you suggest being able to come to terms with something an idol has done and still being able to stan them? (This doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with their actions or defending them blindly bc ew) but rather acknowledging that they’re human and make mistakes yet still supporting them without going bonkers ? It’s really tough for me :(
Well I think it’s going to be a hard balance for everybody, honestly. 
My hard take on idols is to ALWAYS consume their media from a distance. They are not my friends and I do not know them. If I think I’m being too involved in their lives, fantasizing too much about them, relying too much on them for my own well being I know it’s time to step back and reassess. I think this is always the first step to critical thinking because if you can’t look at them like human beings, if you’re clinging too much on the image they project, whenever they do something bad, as it is inevitable because no one is above this, celebrities even less, it will be harder for you to take on the situation the way you should. 
I’ve said this to a mutual before, in light of recent problematic events, and what I think people should do is simply: take their time. There is no need to rush on anything. Some scandal came up about an idol you like? Sit back, take a deep breath and study. Read about what happened from multiple sources. Think calmly if this affects you, if this behavior is something you would allow on people close to you. If it’s something that targets a specific audience, read about what they think, both sides. Do not go on twitter. 
A thing that personally bothers me when situations like these come up is the ‘okay but no celebrity is perfect they’re human’  knee jerk reaction because no shit. I know that. And I don’t give a fuck because if they’re human I can hold them accountable for basic human decency. I’m not in favor of cancelling people in blind rage, but giving them a metaphorical pat on the head because they’re my faves isn’t helping either. But I think you already know how to not do that. 
So you’ve sat and you read and you thought as impartially as you can about The Problem. Do you think it arose out of ill intent? Or is the problem in question happening because the person, simply put, does not know better? And I’m not talking about irresponsible behavior like DYI and shit like that, I mean the microagressions every celebrity under the sun has commited and will eventually be called upon cancelation for it. To quote an arguement I saw once, there’s a giant wall between “this makes me uncomfortable”, “this is harmful but you seem really misinformed” and “this is actively malicious”. I do believe intent matters, and albeit I can’t tell for sure the reasons a celebrity did what they did, or said what they said, it’s usually clear when someone is a bigot or when they have not yet gone through the work of deconstructing lifelong prejudices. Which, for the love of GOD, is not a free pass to go ‘my kpop boy would never do that I know him :(’ bc I will deck you on sight. 
THAT BEING SAID, was the problem brought up to the attention of the celebrity themselves? Did they apologize? Do they sound truthful to their apology? Or do they brush it off? Do not speak up at all? I think these are all factors that matter and only you can judge whether it was satisfactory or not. For me, when an idol apologizes for their behavior and promises to do better, it means a lot because I do not expect them to be as well versed in social matters as I am. But I do expect them to have the common sense of knowing when they misstep and correct it. To go back to a point I mentioned earlier: I permit flaws and misjudgment on the people close to me when done out of ignorance IF they listen to the people around them when told they fucked up. This is not a card people can play every other day, all the time. But things like this are never ending, and if I’m still fighting prejudices myself I can’t expect someone else to be on the ‘wokest’ level. 
And lastly, I think, if any of this made any sense whatsoever, is to make peace with the fact that you’re never going to find a single piece of media out there that is perfect. Because every type of media is brought up to you by people, and people fuck up terribly and often. It is important to know you can enjoy something and be critical about it. You can like something despite its flaws. Sometimes entertainment is just that, entertainment, and not to be put under a hundred different microscopes to judge whether it is socially progressive enough or not. Also a lot of discourse on this website does not exist outside of here. The difference between stans from tumblr/twt and casual stans that only like something and do not engage in social media discourse is staggering. There’s never an authority over is this thing corrupted beyond redemption or can i still like it and not be cancelled by my love for it. You’re the only one who can decide for yourself. And I think if you’re this worried about it that you read this entire nonsense to see if it helps you reach some sort of enlightment you’re already on the right path jfiosjfisoejfs do not drive yourself mad trying to please everybody and enjoy what you like as long as you’re self conscious about its implications. 
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problematiq · 5 years ago
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why are green day not punk anymore in your opinion? i'm so bad at keeping up with bands, literally they could have supported trump and i probs wouldn't have heard about it. or did you just mean that their music has changed?
lmao where do i even start oh boy
so this is all just my opinion, i don’t speak for anyone else. i just noticed a lot of people agreed with the point that they “sold out” or are expressing disappointment with their current approach.
it all depends on your definition of what “punk” even is i guess. people seem to disagree on that, which is like, fine. for some it’s just a music genre, for some it’s a lifestyle. and billie has expressed multiple times that he doesn’t even really consider his own music “pure punk”, but that it’s more of a lifestyle to him. personally, i don’t care if green day make “punk music”, i think their music has always been more than that and that was not the reason i liked them so much.
to me, punk is not just a style of music or an outfit you wear or ratty behaviour. it’s mostly about staying radically true to yourself and your ideals, sticking up for the little guy, not tolerating any kind of racism / sexism / homophobia / transphobia, it’s dyi, it’s thoughtfulness, it’s anticapitalism & anti greed, it’s integrity, and simply a counter-culture to any kind of bigotry.
and i still don’t think green day lost any of their integrity when signing onto a major label or producing a broadway musical or anything like that. i don’t think getting paid for your job makes you a capitalist or a fraud… if someone wants to make their living playing music, good for them and i’m happy if they get to do it. beats having a corporate job or starving.
it’s just that I don’t really consider it “punk” to collaborate with racists when you sell t-shirts with “no racism” written on the back or give big speeches on stage about how you don’t tolerate racism, and just never address it when your comments are filled with people calling you out, when other artists clearly can address it & own up to it or explain themselves. i don’t consider it punk to charge 240$ for a pit ticket to your show when in the early days of your career (after signing onto warner) you specifically made a point to keep them as affordable as possible. their current route seems completely disingenuous to me, like it’s nothing but a big marketing tactic coined by their management. i feel like they’re putting on an act to seem youthful and relevant, and they’re pretending to be someone else. i think their “political statements” have been half-assed for a while and that there is no real thought to it, but i’ve been trying to look over it so far because i still had faith in them. i think they have become puppets of a corporation to make a profit and they seem completely indifferent to it. i also don’t think it’s punk to have like 4 mansions and three yachts or whatever. i know they give back to the community but how much does one person really need? like they clearly have a shit ton of money, i don’t understand why they have to out-sell themselves to make even more. i don’t know why they think it’s necessary to go on tour with two other headliners just to squeeze some 2007-emo-fans dry who can’t wait to see FOB and GD on the same stage or produce garbage music (lmao i do NOT like it but whatever floats everyone’s boat)because it may be more mainstream popular, or even go to fuckin iHeart AGAIN after the last experience where they SAID it was a mistake because they don’t fit in there. why are they trying to prove? it all seems fake and embarrassing tbh. and i like to think that the band i started to love when i was younger was different. or they just made me believe they were.
it’s like… i look at other punk bands and clearly it is possible to stay true to yourself and experiment without losing your integrity on the way and i just ask myself why green day can’t do the same. there are people who enjoy their new stuff and what they’re doing regardless and that’s honestly so fine, like do whatever you want… but u can’t tell me it’s punk lol and no i do not take criticism on this
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voidselfshipp · 5 years ago
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Please gush about your f/os bro do it 👀
I now owe you my life.
Daemon:
okay, I have never ever EVER felt the things I do with this dude, HE HAS ALL THE QUALITIES , Smart, an artist, angsty background,masked characters AND HIS VOICE,HIS FUCKING VOICE.
He is a sweetheart, and he cares for everyone.
And with me? Cuddles, love, more cuddles ,corny moments , this dude is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
Kano:
Okay, sue me.
I I know, he is trashy, pretty messy and an asshole.
BUT DAMN DO I LOVE TRASHY MEN.
his looks: tiddys out, beard, bad boy vibe
I know the fandoms tend to portray Him as an asshole,but I see him as a huge sweetheart, spoils his partner, cuddles when nobody is watching, soft like puddy when giving love.
AND HIS ACCENT OMG HIS ACCENT
Everytime I heart it is like , CALL THE AMBULANCE IM DYI NG.
Ghost rider:
Newest boy in the block.
Cool skeleton vibe✔
Fire✔
HIS MOTORCYCLE.
Always warm when cuddling✔
Huge dork✔
Sassy as hell, done with the world✔
(Sans undertale flashbacks)✔
(Fucking Nicholas cage)
Always in skeleton mode bc no human form✔
Roasting marshmellos on his head,when he isnt looking✔
Using Him as a light source when power goes out✔
My boy is out there taking names and kicking ass, you gotta love him, and his voice oh so help.me god his voice, I I cant.
Late night drives, having fun setting shit on Fire, people looking in awe when we go outside.
Calcium boi
Jesse
THE DIVA HAS ARRIVED.
He is a cancer. That .
He is a deadpool ripoff, egocentric, cocky as hell, but defy him and now he is in love.
My Man knows how to Cook, sing, play the guitar , do make up, sew, being sneaky.
HIS VOICE, I I , HIS LITTLE LAUGHTER.
Long blonde hair to braid. Blue eyes. Tall af. The perfect Man.
I swear living with him is like a telenovela.
The drama my guy , the DRAMA I love it.
And he does drag DRAG my boi is the best.
And he is bi, so there is that.
Sobieski and decker:
THE FUCKING DINAMIC DUO
Sobieski is Buff, carries me around on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, horny on main, motorcycle drives,big hoodies, rock n roll!!!,his tatoos,pumping iron 24/7 AND OFC HIS WEREWOLF MODE, FUCK YEAH.
Decker; calm boi, coffee and a book, Strong af, done with everyones bs,which is a huge mood.
Two dorks.
Ryad:
Tired papá.
Done with my Shenanigans but still loves me.
Insomnia partner when I cant sleep.
He cooks, plays the guitar,repairs cars, and is bilingual, gotta love him.
Best cuddler, can talk shit with me in spanish.
El Bastardo.
Done 10000000%
Charismatic, cuddly af, handsome, and can talk shit in spanish
HE IS CLEVER AND A GOOD MAN, TAKING CARE OF ME, AND HE HAS TWO PILLOWS ON HIS CHEST(aka, his pecks) And I love him so much ahdkbf
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Thanks for the ask!!
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{Art not mine}
ALSO DOING THIS WITH GHOST!!!
Edit: added Vassili.
He writes, he gets the struggles of a writer.
Emotional and soft,still very badass .
Beautiful accent, and a huge cuddler!!, a sweetheart and just SOFT
Big hoodies!!!
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scullyy · 6 years ago
Text
Crying Isn’t Like You
Pairing: Clementine x Louis
Word Count: 2047
Summary: By sheer luck, Louis is able to fall asleep for the first time in days, but within his dreams lies a visitor he doesn't want to face just yet.
A/N: So this is based off an ask I received (from an anon) asking for a fic where Louis and Clem tell either one that they're both in love with each other, yet I put an angsty twist on it ahehehehe...also can you tell that I was inspired by Billie Eilish's song 'I Love You'.... and yes there is a Life is Strange reference in here, I've been replaying it recently. I’ve been having a rough go around lately, so writing this helped clear out my current feelings. Enjoy :))
-
Nothing had really changed.
Ruby continued to tend to her greenhouse, her fingertips tender from lifting bags of freshly dug dirt. Being near Miss Martin's grave wasn't as easy as it used to be, now it stood as a symbol for two people.
Aasim kept to his journal most of the time, jotting down everything that had happened since; being kidnapped, their narrow escape,  the sound of his heart breaking in his chest when the kid came back empty-handed. It all clung to the dirty pages, emptying up some space in his head.
Violet had the bright idea of using Rosie as a guide dog of sorts. If she ever needed to travel out of the school grounds, the brave dog was right by her side, warning of her of any dangers. A pirate and her first mate.
The kids continued life as they had before, a time where the threat of raiders didn't weigh down every action or thought. None of them brought up their missing link, the empty space on the edge of the table. There was nothing to be said.
Especially not in front of Louis.
His heart had fallen into the very pit of his stomach when AJ recounted what had happened, "She...She's gone. I tried to help but it was too late." It was ground-breaking enough to see him return to the school on his own. He was hoping for it to be a lie, that she would miraculously emerge from nowhere and sweep up the pieces of his heart. Instead, it became a horrible truth.
There was no more singing, no more laughter erupting from him. His days began and ended with dismal chores, whatever needed fixing he would fixate on, whoever needed helping he was there, keeping himself focused on one thing and one thing only. If he let his mind wander it always settled onto people he was tired of missing. The days dragged on, beating down against him. The nights were no better, outlandish dreams tormented him with a promise of what could have been, whilst the others slept Louis found himself always teetering on the edge of it.
This just happened to be one of his more difficult nights.
His cold palms flattened against the heavy bedsheet. If it were up to him, he would bundle himself up and hide away like a bat within its cave. He truly would, had it not been for the small boy sleeping soundly across from him, the only real form of motivation he had. Louis buried himself beneath the fuzzy blanket, inhaling the musk that clung onto the fabric.
"Her head should be lying here-"
Fuck. Another intrusive thought to add to the mix. Clementine always took up space in his head, their first meeting was one of the more popular ones. Another was of her, alone in the barn in whatever state AJ left her in. That one played on like a broken record, scratching his nerves and pick-pocketing him of the good memories.
Louis took in slow, deep breaths, choosing to focus on the crickets outside. Their harmonised chirping interfered his delusions, bringing him a moment of peace. His shivering body fell into the mattress as he drifted away to the land where dreams were made. This darkness didn't have a name, it merely crept into their rooms, sending them elsewhere.
As Louis carefully opened his eyes, he flinched at the sudden change in scenery. No longer was he confined beneath his bedsheets, but rather caught within his very own piano room. The soft rays of the moon gave the room a soft glow, but his eyes could only make focus of what was right in front of him. And God did it send his blood cold.
He felt out of place, even within her sudden presence, the one place he would feel safe in.
"You're not dead, that's good."
Her contagious smile pulled him back into the moment. Clementine slowly scooched over on the stool, leaving an obvious place for him. She acted so casually, one leg hooked over the other with her arms leaning against the piano. There was a guilty smile on her face as she noticed his horrified expression. "So...hey there."
Before both of them had realised, Louis had swooped her up into his arms. No longer did he feel heavy or empty, her presence illuminated something inside him, just as she had always done. "You're really here!" His call echoed right in her ear, not that she minded. Louis fell onto the stool, yet his hands remained clasped around her thin shoulders.
She definitely looked cleaner. A healthy glow now emitting from her cheeks, what was once dirt and blood was now replaced by very faint freckles. Each one kissed her face. Her hat had been rejuvenated, there were no more stains and the D had been patched back up. "I really am, figured this room would be nice to meet in, given what happened here." Clementine winked like the devil. A devil Louis would gladly sell his soul to.
He blinked back tears as their carving came into view, it was blurry to his eyes but it was there. No doubt about it. "This is where it all started, without sounding too dorky," Louis tried to laugh but it came out in pieces. The longer he looked at her the further he fell into pieces. "This is a dream, isn't it?"
Slowly, Clementine nodded, crushing his hopes. "At least I can still see you. I'm...I'm sorry it turned out this way."
She was apologising? "Why are you sorry? You dyi-you being gone isn't your fault." Louis moved both his hands down to her own, ignoring the chill that emitted from them.
"There's just so much I wanted to tell you, I thought we would have had more time," She had so many plans for the future with him and everyone else at the school. None of them had been forgotten, their silly chats of building houses and futures in whittling. "You were right, there is only one guarantee."
Louis's heart and brain were racing on two different tracks with two different outcomes. "Tell me now then, I can't stay asleep forever." This was the closest that they had to a future now, these brief dreams.
Clementine pushed his hair away from his face, he had once been nothing short of a pure ray of light. Now he had fallen too far into the darkness, it took him away from everyone. His blood-shot eyes were almost unrecognizable. "I...shit, I thought this would have been easy," She closed her eyes before taking the plunge. "I love you, Louis."
His hands fell limp, along with nearly every other part of his body. He wanted her to take it back, soak up her own words, let it be known it was just a joke. Louis looked towards the window, wondering just how much longer this nightmarish moment would last. "You don't mean it. You're not even real." Louis scoffed, choosing to let nothing change between them. She was gone, a cruel figment of his childish imagination. She was dead without so much as a goodbye. That was how it was and how it should have remained.
Clementine inched even closer to him, their hips now touching. Her soft glow was now spilling onto his thigh. "Listen to me," Her smooth hands gently pawed at his cheek, forcing their eyes to meet. "Wherever I end up after this, those moments between us were real and they'll always be ours." Her thumb brushed away his endless tears that were now spilling down like a waterfall, she wanted to soak it up and protect him, give him whatever was required to make him smile again.
He fell apart in her arms as the moon moved ahead, leaving them together with the darkness. There was nothing else she could say to change the fact that their time was diminishing. "Clem," Her skin burned his own as their foreheads collided. Louis could only compare the tight grip over his lungs to drowning and that was putting it lightly. "You know that..that I love you too."
She knew, she always knew. He managed to say it to her without using words, just the way he spoke her name was enough to show to anyone how high he carried her in his heart. Clementine tried her best to smile for him. "I know," They remained in each other's embrace till the dimly-lit sun crept over the horizon, sneaking in through the broken window. "Time to go Lou."
Louis gripped onto her jacket tighter, desperate to keep her by his side. "I don't want to, not yet." His pleas fell upon deaf ears as she pushed his arms away. Immediately he fell cold again, her body had left him just as quickly as the two came together.
"It's alright, you know where to find me," Clementine gestured to the piano, their special spot. She would have gladly spent the rest of her life in that room, listening to her lover play whatever song he could remember from his youth or what his irresistible imagination could create. Neither could escape their feelings, their natural pull towards each other. Neither party wanted to anyways. "Oh, tell AJ that I'm proud. He's got a great family looking out for him now." Clementine glided out of the door like smoke, and just like smoke, she refused to fade away.
Louis felt his eyes droop to the ground, arms falling back to his side like a broken ragdoll. He began to fall into the piano, yet never hitting it. The world began to fall apart, the sunlight breaking apart into glowing clouds. He wanted to bleed into them, to stay in this magical place that only he could travel to during sleep.
"Louis?"
The jittery man briefly opened one eye, his new room replacing the sight of his dream. Leaning over him was AJ, the small boy rubbing his eyes furiously. "You were talking in your sleep again," He mumbled.
Louis slowly reached out and touched the wall, his fingertips scaling the Ericson flag that he thought was lost forever. "Sorry kiddo, did I wake you?" He noticed the dark circles beneath AJ's wide eyes. Both of the boys knew that sleep was both a tormenter and a peacemaker all in one, it was the world's craziest game of Russian Roulette.
"No, I was already awake, couldn't sleep," AJ admitted. Sleep was for the weak, there were other people who needed protecting. He didn't want to stand by as his close friends were in danger, of what exactly remained shrouded in mystery.
Louis's heart reached out to the kid, his bond with Clementine was something Louis never had the pleasure of obtaining during his life and was likely to never encounter. It was special and oddly moving, to see two unrelated people so willing to sacrifice anything for the other. "C'mere," Louis moved closer to the wall, leaving behind just enough space for a small child. "I know she did the same for you, it might help us both sleep."
AJ showed didn't question it, immediately he hopped underneath the covers, his grimace being replaced by a still smile. "Goodnight Louis." He whispered before settling down, his eyes closed willingly. For the first time in days, AJ fell asleep peacefully.
Louis stared at the top bunk as his memories threw out images of her smile, the dip in her eyebrows whenever they were crossed, the scar that peaked out beneath her sleeve. Everything about her was enchanting. His mind was at rest, knowing that together they learned to fly. Nothing could erase their shared past, not even a lost future.
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egg-of-mankhad · 6 years ago
Text
Your Name
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Cranes could be seen flying overhead a setting sun. The color of orange a prominent one in the fortress that bordered the entrance into Kugane. Where concrete pillars reached into the sky. Towers upon which pirates stood watch over the vast ruby dyed sea.
“<Okay...Just as we agreed...”> A young adolescent Xaela girl would whisper to the older male, pointing towards another docked ship where a number of questionable figures were loading on crates that looked to be heavy with their weight in gold. “<They have the golden scaled ones with them. If we integrate they might hardly notice us. We just need to play our parts well.>”
“<Sechen I don’t know…>” the older Xaela whispered. His crimson eyes narrowing with hesitation upon the men as they passed. Men garbed in happi jackets would venture back and forth as they spoke, hidden behind a wooden rice container. “<Look at them...There scales are made of gold. Ours are black. They will ask questions”>
“<We act dumb. Their tongue is far too quick regardless. The are like leaping dolphins who know not when to quit. Here--quickly>”
Before their hiding place was collected by the traders, the pair of Xaela would slip to the next container of rice. Then to the next. Dodging their horns and tails out of the eyesight of the strange hornless beings who were their seaferriers.
“<We act dumb, but we signal to them. We want work. We want to be a part of their crew. They won’t object. Not with the large brutes they appear to carry.>”
“<And if they turn us away?>”
“<Then we find another ship to collect us. I do not intend to stay here forever Eigengrau. Not on this sea…>”
“<Sechen…>”
The male Xaela did not wish to stay either. The sight of the tower that stretched to the Heavens would always seem like a scar across the sky in his eyes. And the horizon, a dreadful reminder. He would try and reach out to his newfound friend for a small bit of comfort that they would finally find a place away from everything. She did not take his hand.
“<After this. I do not wish to see you anymore.>”
====
“<M...marraige….papa…?>”
How old was he then...Thirteen summers? The fresh tears had not quite left his face. His father sat across from him in stone faced. Dead set in his decision for the young man. The young one had come of age. And his body was starting to develop into its peak.
“<You are a man now. Or...You will be.>” He would wordless gesture towards a paddle that sat next to him. It was ceremonial and made from wood. And held within it the same markings that reflected the dangerous curves of the sea. “<Within the next month the cyclone will return.>” Crimson red eyes, shining like a dying set of stars, would center in on Eigen. A predator upon prey, in some other scenario perhaps.
“<You will brave the waters. And you will find yourself a whale calf, kill it, and bring it here.>”
It was an order. Not a request; The days leading up to such a moment were felt with preparations that included reminders of the boy’s lessons. As well as new lessons. Such as how to harpoon a cow. And where to find a whale pod. Things such as a whale’s weaning period. The boy was taught how long a calf stayed with their mother. When the mother rose to the surface. How to tell when a calf was feeding on a mother’s milk. So many different things about whales Eigen would learn in that short time period, so many things he would wish he didn’t know.
====
“THERE SHE BLOWS!!”
There came that charged cry of the ship’s captain. A shout of excitement, and impassioned need. There. She. Blow. Her size was 37 fulms, 6 ilms. A heavy weight of 15 tons. She was pretty, but not an absolutely beautiful catch. Eigen’s eyes glimmered in recognition of the mollusks that covered the underside of her hide as she lept across at the ships side. A sad peering giant eye glancing over to them in that brief moment. Her blowhole spraying out a shimmer of water.
Sounds of hardworking men’s feets could be heard scrambling towards Eigen’s end of the ship. And the sound of rowboats being lowered could be heard. Someone handed Eigen a harpoon, the young adult couldn’t see whom.
He had only been in Kugane for a moon, and they already put him to work. “Hey, you look strong! Come help us!”; Eigen did not understand these words. All he understood was that he was shoved on a ship at the earliest convenience the moment he was separated from Sechen.
It was good work, but not well paying work. Eigen would learn quickly that he would only recieve the same wages as the Kojin beast tribe who traveled with him on these excursions. Barely enough for food. Yet enough to be scrambled for a room for a night. The reality would dawn on Eigen how he would have to choose his living condition quickly. It was either to have food and be homeless, yet still starve. Or to have a room and starve.
For a Xaela such as he, the choice was rather one sided.
“Boat’s cleared!” shouted another man. Some would shove Eigen’s shoulder roughly as he felt the boat he sat in become heavy with other able bodied men. They were rowed quickly to the cow’s position. The Hingan sun bearing down on them with a hint of judgmental rage.
“Laying on her now, nice and sweet! Draw out yer irons now, boys! This one’s a beast!”
“Just like her sweet scaley cousin am I right?” A man would punch Eigen’s shoulder with a laugh. A moment would past before the dark au ra would realize that the man was speaking to him. He would laugh with him, though not understanding his words.
“Oi!! Asshole! Don’t bully the poor lad!” Eigen blinked over at a raen who would have snarled at the laughing hiyur, who would grab at Eigen’s shoulder and would murmur against the horn. “I hear you savages have a tribe where everyone looks like a kami damned whale. Is this true? Can you introduce me?” The hiyur’s snickering voice made Eigen’s spine shiver for some reason.
The raen would snarl once more and roll his eyes. Though there was nothing to be done to the man. He was a drunk. No one wanted to deal with him. “Fucking Hingans” the raen would murmur.
There was a distance in his eyes as he regarded Eigen as well. A cold, uncaring one. He seemed more so focused on the water with the spraying geysers of whale breath in the distance.
“Heyyyy don’t sweat it scales. You and me, we understand the whales. We live, breath, eat, shit, and -fuck- whales am I right?” The Hiyur man would snicker. “You really must introduce me to your females. I’ll hold you to that okay? Here, shake on it. We go find a cow to screw together after we’re done screwing this here cow.” The hiyur man gestures wildly to the sea. His hand missing the herding spot of the whales by a few fulms.
“GODDAMN MORONS QUIT YER SCABBLING AND FOCUS FOR FUCK’S SAKE” The roegadyn that headed the front would shout with irritation. “Asahi---ASAHI---Think you can give it to her!? The DAMN BASTARDS ahead of us are already gallying her mates!”
“On it already…” The air would grow tense as a resounding echo would shake through their boat. A loud and violent song that would ring across Eigen’s horns.
“Focus on big mama! Forget the babs!---Look alive rookie, this is gonna be yer first Sleighride!”
It was beautiful, but terrifying. A symphony of fear, and of terror. Sung for the audience that were her predators. Eigen would listen to the matron’s song. And felt his heart tug for the days of his youth. Remembering the sorrow of the creature he would lay to rest. Simply for the right to a name of his own.
====
“<You are late>”
The boy Xaela would arrive at his father’s tend. Bloodied and covered in black ink. Looking as though he was about to cry. He had ventured out into the sea like his father had said. Among thunder and lightning like his father had said. He did not find any mother whale out there but had apparently found something much worse. Much larger. Though yet still a whale, if the tail fin he dragged behind him was of any indicator.
He, couldn’t stop crying.
“<What is this?>” The voice of his father was quiet. It sounded like disbelief but the young Xaela could not be certain. The elder stood and walk over to the younger au ra. Eyes glowering over the fin. “<I asked for a -whole whale-. Not this….-excuse-.>” He would gesture with a growl.
“<I...I lost it….!”>”
The boy looked up at his father with weeping tears in his eyes. His bloodied mouth openin and closing as he sobbed. Looking absolutely disheartened. “<I bit its tail and I harpooned it like you said but its flesh had torn and I lost it…! It...It died though….I think it was...Dyi-->”
“<Do not speak to me your excuses! The rest of the whale! -Where- is it?!>”
The boy had failed his test. That much was certain. And before he would be casted off, the boy would run away. Terrified, and cowardly, he would run. While the skies outside would continue to storm with raging winds and rain. He stumbled over a conch shell at some point during his fleeing. And hits his head face first in the muddied sand. The sky around him would be alight with lightning. And ahead of him, within that moment. His eyes would catch the bloodied form of the whale that he had come into contact with bells before hand. It was barely breathing, barely holding onto life. Upon the bed of coastal sand. Fifty fulms in its magnificence. A giant, compared to creature his father expected him to tame. Next to the creature, was another. A baby thing that looked like it was in a state of weeping.
Sadly, carefully, Eigen would put his arms over both creatures. And he would hug them both, as well as anyone his size possibly could. A sharp piercing sensation in his heart telling him that this was what he needed; how he hated it so.
“<....I am so sorry….>”
He really did not want to take two lives that night. But it was already too late. Lightning flashed across the sky and the boy would cower as he held tight. “<Please...please forgive me>”
...
“<Eigengrau. Your name is Eigengrau....A Shadow is what you are. Nothing more, nothing less.>”
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tshykims · 3 years ago
Text
NIMBUS - Kim Namjoon AU
Song suggestion:
https://youtu.be/-TXtyYZIiWc
.
You saw him sitting on the park bench, he almost looked unreal with that long white coat and turquoise beret. People would definitely believe if he said he's sort of messenger from the clouds, even you almost convinced myself about it, but the only thing made you believe that he was a human was that messed up burrito he had in his hands, struggling to eat.
“God made burritos as a punishment.” he said.
You didn't realize if he was talking to you, but you went beside him anyways, his aura was too welcoming and you just felt the push to walk towards him as like he was calling you.
“I'd like to disagree.” you said, as you sat beside him on the bench.
He threw his look at you, dragon eyes. Carried the disappointment about your reply.
“Maybe because you have nice and big mouth, I barely get to take the stuffings with the bread.”
“your problem.” you look at him. He was still looking at you, his eyes gradually softened and you you saw how a dragon turned into a crescent. He smiled. You didn't flinch but got struck by the smile, it's so beautiful that it left you smiling back.
“when was the last time you ate?” he asked you, left you weirded out a little bit. But maybe you managed to look very pale that's why it made him ask that, so you take a chill pill.
“yesterday at lunch, am I looking that dead tho?”
He smiled again, actually laughed, it carried the same energy to make you laugh back at him, you feel really weird how this guy is making you smile and laugh with just existing by your side, he's just like the sky. Doing nothing, going with the flow but creating little waves in your soul.
“your lips are so dry that anyone would understand that nothing went in your mouth for hours.” he pointed at your lips while saying so then took off his beret.
Silver hair, white attire, definitely not a human.
“do you plan on being so attractive everyday?”
He went so confused and furrowed his eye brows for a moment.
“yes I have a daily routine on impressing people, I've a dress up chart and it says order a burrito and struggle to death until a beautiful girl shows up and then take off your beret right after 3 minutes and 21 seconds while into the conversation.” he spoke so fast it almost sounded like rap and he said it so dramatically that it left you burst out laughing.
.
“you love yourself so much I see.”
“yes, it's not true if it ain't love, nothing is true if it's not love.” he looked in your eyes and shot the words.
“how is there love in vio:lence, it's a true shit right?” you were so much in defense. You just failed to go with the thought that the self harm you do has love in it.
“how's there love in self ha:rm? Bs.”
He turned fully at your direction, putting the eyes on you, which were powerfully soft, knows about what it's about to say.
“the people who choose vio:lence are exactly the ones who love vio:lence. They love it. That's why it's true. Not all kind of love is nice, but all kind of love is true. You do harm to yourself because you think it'll make you feel better, why'd you care about your own feelings if you hate yourself so much? You love you, somewhere inside, you are dyi::ng to love you.”
He did not just say the words like that, piercing each words into your soul like ice. It felt so obvious at the moment. You just kept looking at him, he's so much like an open book, it legit felt like a crime to hear his opinion for free.
People can think that way? Even if they can, how is it possible to word them just like that? Words flow through his mouth just like that?
.
“I will start to think you are in love if you don't stop staring at me like that.” he smiled again and his eyes went crescent just like it happened before.
“When I saw you here today I thought you were some angel or something like that from they sky, if you keep talking soul piercing words like this, I might believe it.” you said to him, everytime he smiled softly it was so gentle that it might convince anyone that this person controls himself so perfectly, like when to smile, how much to smile, when to talk, how much gentleness will he use to talk, felt like he have everything measured beautifully. He exists?
“People see other people according to what they crave, if you crave for sky, your mind will automatically compare me with sky, if you crave books and povs, you'll see me as a book. It's like, so simple. I crave love, seeing you feels like love. You have so much to give, I hope you find you soon.”
“your definition of love is fcked up I must say.” you said it like you didn't care about the comment he made about you but you knew how much love you always wanted to give people, you're really somehow trapped in the devil's maze.
“I need that remedy to find me.”
“Love doesn't have a definition, 7 billion people defines it in 7 billion ways, if mine is fcked up, it's mine anyways. Same goes for the remedy, no one can provide it, you provide yours, another people's remedy might not suit you, you might end up blaming about it, I'll just hope your remedy suits your pain perfectly. It's kind of important. Also no, I'm not from the show TedTalk.” he put his hand up in defense and laughed.
You couldn't stop looking at his eyes, hair, dimples he had. Everything, he felt like sky so far, suddenly he felt like love. Your own definition of love. Not real, not real.
.
“I've to go. See you around.” he stood up with beret and gave his hand to shake.
“It Was nice to meet you.” he smiled again. Maybe it's his trait. Or maybe he knows he owns a beautiful smile and loves to show it. Either way, it melted and gave heartaches anyways. He walked away.
You stood there, he was so magical, you forgot to ask his name. Also where to find him next. He said see you around. You thought he must live here, nearby.
.
Hell you were dead wrong. You waited almost every day on that bench for that burrito struggler. He never showed up, never showed up around.
He said that day that we always look up at the sky to seek comfort, sky does nothing but it comforts us anyway. You the more you think about it the more you see him. He must be around, watching quietly, who knows.
.
People say a lot of useless things like you look at the sky when you lost something on earth, here you look at the sky to search something on earth. Him.
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