#DONT ASK ME HOW I DID I JUST DID IT IT WAS HARD

[thelov3lybookworm]

Journals (part 2)

Part 1

Summary: new realisations and hauntingly beautiful words

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 2059

Warnings: heavyyyy angst, mental health issues, depression, feeling unworthy of love, panic attack, self harm (alluded to), self hate. thats all i can think of right now, but let me know if i need to add anything

A/n: based on old poetry by @garden-of-runar 🤭i had reblogged them to my drafts on a side blog that i dont use at all, so i couldnt reblog them on my main, but i have put them in the fic, so ig that works🤷🏻‍♀️ also, if i ever write a part 3 (which i might based on feedback) azzie would be the love interest <3

ALSO MY GIRLIE IS SO TALENTED DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED I LOVE THESE POEMS 🥹

(im also tagging people who asked for a part two hope u dont mind <3)

anyways, enjoyyyy!!

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Lying on the ground, despite how it hurt her joints sometimes, was one of Y/n’s favourite pastimes. Maybe because sometimes she did not have the energy to crawl into her bed, but that was not the point.

They hate you.

The hardness of the wood panels was oddly comforting, the way the grains sometimes raised enough for her to feel them with her fingers, the soft creaking when she stepped on them. It reminded her that she was here, that she was alive. That she was getting what she deserved for being so pathetic.

The soft mattress did not give her the same level of comfort. Sure, it was warm and cozy, but did she deserve it?

No.

You deserve this.

You deserve the worst.

Y/n sniffled, lying on her side as she lifted her hand higher next to her, dragging her nails down the planks, the feeling overwhelming in itself but better than not feeling anything. She watched her fingers jerk with the motion, pale and bloodless.

She could feel her tears collecting in a pool and seeping under her cheek. She glanced at the foot of the bed in front of her.

It looks so majestic from down here.

Do people who are worse off think the same way about me?

I don’t want them to. Because I am not worth being thought of like that.

I am nothing. I am pathetic.

It became harder and harder to take in a breath from her nose, as it continued to grow clogged from all her sobbing.

It was one of her least favourite things about crying.

Pathetic.

Stop it!

You’re pathetic. Crying over nothing.

You don’t deserve anything good.

The thoughts kept echoing in her head, louder and louder. She couldn’t breathe any longer.

And it was not because of anything physical.

Her chest began to constrict, forcing her lungs to let out precious air. She tried to breathe it back in, desperately wishing to cling to any remnants of oxygen like a child clinging to its mothers skirts.

Please. Just one inhale.

Her throat tightened.

Just one.

She gasped, futilely trying to breathe one last time to breathe before she knew she would collapse, faint because of the lack of air in her body. It gave her some reprieve, and her eyes focused back to the bed.

The longer she stared at it, the more drowsy she became. Her eyelids were drooping, and she finally, finally decided that maybe letting herself submit to her body’s needs wouldn’t be too bad, if it meant that the thoughts would stop. Maybe if she gave in to the tiredness in her bones after hours of sobbing, her mind would stop being so cruel.

Maybe it would take pity on her.

Maybe.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

"We should go out tomorrow!"

Y/n smiled a little. A rare smile that only recently had begun showing on her face.

It wouldn’t be considered a real smile. But it was still there on her face. The tilt of her lips.

We. Not me. We.

They wanted her to be present too.

Cassian jumped up, looking at Y/n with a grin. "I always wanted to take Y/n out to Rita’s."

Her smile grew.

The other members talked, making plans for tomorrow. Slowly, the conversation spiralled, as it always did between them all.

Azriel leaned close to Y/n, whispering jokes in her ear that made her giggle. Rhysand sat on the same couch as Cassian, fighting like children. Mor sat next to Amren, amusement shining in her eyes as she added fuel to the fire, while Amren looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here.

They talked well into the night, politics, food, court gossip bleeding into one another as the time trickled by.

But the moment the conversations wandered into their future, Y/n’s smile faded. She wondered, would they want her to stay in their life?

She didn’t have to wonder long, as the words they uttered were enough to give her peace.

They talked of vacations, of parties and new traditions. Of getting married, of being with their partners. Of celebrating lives and years and months, of celebrating ends and new beginnings.

They talked, and included her.

They talked in ‘we’s’. Not in ‘me’s’.

And that was enough for her little heart to be happy.

For it to heal, for the blood to return to her face.

For her to smile, free and unbidden.

But then, time passed. And just like the sand in an hourglass trickles away, so do all good things.

As she watched, the scene changed from only housing six people in the living room, to adding three more members. And slowly, she was pushed out.

And they began talking in ‘me’s’.

Some ‘we’s’, but it never meant Y/n.

No, it meant them. Them and their partners.

It meant Feyre and Rhysand. Their new lives and baby.

It meant Cassian and Nesta. Their new mating bond and blooming love.

It meant Azriel and Elain. Their growing infatuation.

Y/n doubted the infatuation had ended, as Azriel no longer sat next to Elain at dinners. Lucien’s visits to Velaris had increased too.

But everyone’s visits to Y/n and their thoughts about her had decreased. No one seemed to remember her existence.

And she deserved it.

They chatted among themselves, and the armchair she sat on vanished from under her, leaving her standing knee deep in the freezing snow. Watching from the outside as the warm interior that had seemed so welcoming just a moment ago turned into a nightmare.

Her worst nightmare.

It left her whimpering, leaving her to curl on the cold ground.

All alone, just like she deserved.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

It was almost sunset, and finally, Rhysand had built up the determination to read the damned journal.

He walked downstairs, peering into the living room before stepping in front of it.

Mor had departed after Y/n had left, tears in her eyes. Azriel and Cassian had been sitting in the living room for the whole two hours since then, staring into space, looking haunted and horrified at the way they hadn’t realised what was going on with their friend. Amren too, sat in an armchair in the corner, looking as unbothered as ever. But Rhys saw the cracks. The shifting eyes, the too hard hold on the book she held in her lap, the downward tilt of her lips more pronounced.

"I think it’s time we read the journal."

Four sets of eyes shot up to his figure.

"Are you sure, Rhys?" Cassian mumbled, standing up uncertainly.

Rhys nodded. "It is the only option we have."

Azriel sighed, mirroring Cassian’s movements and moving closer to Rhysand.

Feyre perked up. "What is going on Rhys?"

He clenched his jaw, guilt and regret festering in his gut. He had been so busy in his newfound happiness, so wound up in enjoying every moment with his mate that he had forgotten family. He had forgotten her to the extent his mate didn’t even know what the slight tang of copper in the air meant.

"Nothing, Feyre." He mumbled, turning away.

"Elain was asking-"

"Tell her to stop asking, then." Rhysand froze at the coldness in Azriel’s voice, his eyes going wide. Azriel never used that tone of voice with anyone outside of work, let alone Feyre.

Feyre stepped back, her calves hitting the couch as she stared at her friend in shock. "Az?"

Azriel pushed past Rhysand, making his way towards his study where the journal sat, looking as frustrated and unapologetic as ever.

After a shared glance, Rhysand and Cassian followed, Amren hot on their heels.

Azriel was already seated in one of the chairs at Rhysand’s mahogany desk, his eyes fixed on the journal that lay in the middle, his jaw clenched. He seemed to be the most affected, and Rhys only had the faintest idea why.

The four of them sat in waiting until Mor finally arrived, shutting the door behind her. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she sniffled lightly as she came to stand next to Cassian.

"Rhys, do we really have to read it? It will be an invasion of privacy."

Rhys swallowed. Thought it over. "We don’t really have a choice, do we? We need to figure out the root of this. She won’t tell us if we ask, we know that. Plus, she might already be way down the path of another breakdown after what happened today."

"That is why I think that instead of sitting around on our arses," Azriel ground out, "we should go and check up on her."

Rhys raised a brow, though concern festered in his gut. "Azriel, we’ve been through this before. She will feel worse about herself, thinking she inconvenienced us."

A muscle feathered in Azriel’s jaw, but he said nothing.

And so they began reading.

Rhysand opened a random page, his breath catching at the sudden tang of copper, and began reading. As he stared at the words before speaking them aloud, he remembered seeing the exact poem in a book he recommended to Y/n over fifty years ago.

Forgotten.That is my nameThat is the path I walkIt has been so longI don’t remember what it is like to be seenAnd I spill, my tears lining the path to the woods where my body lies,Forgotten.- from GardenofRunar

Instantly, Rhysand’s blood ran cold. He leaned back, exhaling. The pages were decorated in flowers and hearts, tiny little clouds and doodles in the margins so at odds with the thoughts spilled onto them like a hauntingly beautiful scenery.

At this point, Cassian and the others had moved to peer over Rhys’s shoulder. Rhys watched as Cassan reached over to turn the page with a shaky hand, pulling it back almost instantly as if the page had burned him. There, just above the words was a small handful of doodles, and he knew the small figures resembled the inner circle before Rhys had been taken under the mountain.

The poem was more a letter than anything, except it contained so few letters but thy hit everyone with a guilt so hard it was almost like a mountain fell onto them.

So like Y/n, to say so less yet still make an impact.

I didn’t forget about you.Can you say the same for me?Don’t bother.I know the answer.-GardenOfRunar

Under the poem, were a few words.

The poet is so talented. Every poem of them I read, it makes me want to sob.Maybe because I relate to these. Maybe that’s why.

Quiet sniffles came from Mor, but Rhys turned another page. It was the first page where blood began dotting the corners, a few drops on the center of the page veining out towards the edges, as if trying to exit but being unable to.

The almost poeticness of the sight was not lost on them. The blood droplets were almost like Y/n, trying to escape a cruel mind but unable to.

My friends are living lives, and I’m trudging through a million little days,Wasting away.- GardenofRunar

A hand snaked towards the book, slamming it shut. Rhysand jumped, his eyes flying to the owner of the scarred hand that appeared.

"Enough." His voice was still, quiet, but so cold it could freeze even the summer court over. And Rhysand knew. He was blaming himself for not paying attention to Y/n.

Rhys nodded, feeling guiltier by the second.

Everyone went back to their places, sitting in silence. Contemplating.

Wondering how they had become so oblivious to the point that they couldn’t see what was right in front of them the entire time.

The regret, the sadness was heavy in the air. It was getting hard to breathe it in.

Finally, Azriel stood, grabbing the book.

Then he turned, and walked out the door without a word, his wings pulled tight against his back.

And Rhysand wondered again.

Was this just some friendly concern, some self blame, or something else entirely?

Needless to say, suspicion took root. But guilt and hate overwhelmed it once more, and the family was left to sit and roil in it.

To wonder, how could they have been so busy that they ignored such an important part of them?

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

(ps. the first part in the memories/dreams Y/n has is based off this poem

You talk in ‘we’s’ Not ‘me’s’ And it heals my heart, just a little. Puts a smile on my face, just a little. You talk about a future One with me in it And I feel the color Return to my face. Just a little. - Runar

)

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[chrattho1]

chris fucking you senseless in the hotel in milan

LOVE THIS

505.

summary: your first trip as a couple,chris is going insane in italy air wanting nothing more than to fuck you crazy.

warnings: smuty smut,p in v,unprotected sex (dont),pet names(baby),dom!chris,no use of y/n.

“god im so tired” you spoke plopping down on the bed of your shared hotel room with chris,both of you just coming back from an event

but chris wasn’t tired. he was far from it. all he wanted to do was rip that black,tiny little skirt off of you.

you see the air in milan did something to him,from the moment you guys landed chris wanted to pin you down on the freshly made hotel room bed,and go at it for hours on end,he wanted to hear you scream,beg him for more,he also thought-what if the other guests’ on the floor hear them,but was quick to ignore that thought because he didn’t give a fuck.

his brothers were a floor up,he doesn’t know for what reason but he thanks whoever assigned them their rooms because he was sure,that once he got the chance to fuck you,the entire 5th floor would know.

“chris?” chris’ thoughts were cut off by you waving your hands in front of him,you who was still in the skirt,legs on top of each other as you sit on the edge of the bed,oh how much would he love to spread-

“chris oh my god pay attention” you spoke again trying to get chris out of his trance. “so i was sitting at the seat that was assigned to me and you will never guess who was next to-” you started rambling about some shit chris didn’t care about right now,he was quick to interrupt you.

“need you” he almost whispered,his voice filled with lust and need fr.

“what?” you ask him genuinely thinking you didnt hear him right.

that was when chris took matters into his own hands,he got up from the bed, grabbed your calfs from where you were, making you drop on your back on the bed,you hair all over the bed,chris quickly lowered himself to kiss you roughly,you smirk between the kiss loving this side of him.

he slipped his tongue,roaming it all over the insides of your mouth,making it meet your tongue. he stooped down to lay kisses on your neck, going all the way down to your exposed cleavage through the shirt.

“off. now” he spoke between marking one of your boobs,speaking holding the hem of shirt

your hands find a way through him to the buttons of your shirt,unbuttoning them as fast as you can,panting for air. as soon as those buttons were off chris took the very expensive shirt off and threw it somewhere.

he pulled back to look at the bra you were wearing, “fuck,wanted to see this all day” he groaned before getting back to your lips,hands sneaking behind to unbuckle the bra,and yet again throwing it off somewhere.

still kissing you,his hands roam around your now free breasts,squeezing them and teasing your nipples. he then starts to take his shirt off and gets to your boobs again,kissing and sucking on one while the other one was being played with.

“h-h-uh-chris-need you” you say in between breaths now “yeah? gotta be more specific baby” he spoke looking up at you from your tits

“need you,inside-of me-r-right now” you say firmly this time,making him nod

“its a shame you have to take this off,your ass looks phenomenal in it” chris says unbuttoning the button on your skirt,being met with the sight of your black laced panties. man he could cum right there.

chris’ breath hitched “wearing my favourite pair and not even telling me? baby c’mon” chris whines looking at you,your face already fucked out from all the teasing he has been doing.

he ditches his pants and boxers,his hard cock springing out like its been waiting for ages,pre cum leaking,tip red and swollen.

he comes up to your face,grabbing both of your hands from your sides and putting them in a hold in his fist,pinning you down to the bed. his free hand grabbing one of your thighs telling you to wrap them around his torso.

“now be loud for me huh?” chris said before thrusting all of him in you,not giving you any time to adjust to his size,and starts pumping in and out.

a loud whine leaves your mouth,in disbelief of how pleasurable this is. your eyes shutting instinctively,your head falling back.

“look at me” chris speaks between his heavy breaths and moans,his own eyes half closed in pleasure

“fuck-chris—fu” the bed quite literally moving with you guys,creaking on the wooden floor. both of your bodies slapping and making sounds that could be cinematic.

“yeah you like—-that-huh? like taking me all in?” chris speaks through his teeth,his voice betraying him and letting out a moan right after his question

“tell me how much you-like it” chris said in your ear, sounding almost pathetic because of how much he wanted to hear you say you liked it,and that sent a shiver down your spine,made you moan in a scream

“fuck-i lik-fuck—fuck like it so much baby” your hands still tied in chris’ fists,his knuckles turning white

“my god—look at you” he says speeding up,the room is filled with your whines ,pleads, groans and moans.

“gonna cu-cum chris-oh my god-oh my god-fuck-fuck—” you scream as you crash down with your orgasm,back arching,walls clenching around chris’ dick making a knot in his stomach.

“shit—shit-oh—shittt” he cums with the last few deep thrusts in you,crashing on top of you,letting go of your hands,your legs still wrapped around him lifelessly

about 5 minutes of heavy breathing and chris praising you into the skin of your neck,he pulls out,and lays to your side

“gonna fuck you like that in every country we step foot in” chris smiled at you,both of you looking like a mess.

his eyes fall between your thighs,his cum spilling out of you

“fuck would you look at that?” he lets out a chuckle,you put your hands on your face in embarrassment

“hey-hey baby thats fucking beautiful,thats also the hardest ive ever cum” he chuckles again holding your face in his hands now.

“you did so good for me,now lets get you cleaned up yeah?” you nod with a smile and watched as he picked up the phone provided in the hotel room and dialed up room service

“hey! could i get some wet and dry towels in room 505?”

a/n: wrote this in 20 minutes,didn’t proof read it yet so dont come at me with errors pleak😓

[kaivenom]

Hey same person who asked for OP DILF x MILF reader

How about them reacting to MILF reader having a kid? (Even funnier if it was like luffy or zoro lol)

OP DILFS dating a MILF who has a kid

Characters: Mihawk, Doflamingo, Crocodile, Smoker,Shanks.

A/N: Two things. First one: i love this, i really had a good time writing it, you have great ideas my dear anon. Second one: exams are finally oveeeer, so i would be trying to update more than usual to get all the requests out of the hoven for everyone.

Masterlist

Dracule Mihawk

After taking care of Zoro and Perona, he thinks that he is ready for everything.

One day you were both on the kitchen and he like ussual is reading paperwork.

"It looks like the new generation it's going strong, this kid seems a good swordsman." he shows you the picture.

"Drac, i think it's time for us to talk." he almsot felt fear for a moment, "that kid it's mine, not like you and Zoro, literally that is my son." his mind exploded, you never saw him that concerned.

"And when will you have said this to me?"

"I am telling you now... you know how difficult it's to date at our age, especcially being a woman who already has a kid?" he nodded and pushed you closer, "i planned on telling you soon, i just, didn't know how, i was expecting something like this to happen to have the oportunity to tell you.

"You are lucky i already have practice with that green haired boy... call him, we can set a dinner and i can meet him formally, maybe even bond?" you coudln't help but smile and kiss him.

Donquixote Doflamingo

He already has experience with children since he literally adopted a lot of them.

One day someone robbed on the royal treasure chamber of Dressrosa and he was furious, he was looking for you to help him relax.

"My dove, i need some of your assistance on my d..."

"And when i tell you i date someone your best idea it's to rob him? you are lucky i found you and your stupid friends before he did? and.... " you finally became aware of his presence, but his eyes were already glued to the teenager.

You grabbed your child by the collar of the shirt and went to the door, your previous angry look bacame softer seen how Doflamingo's eyebrows were frowning.

"This is my son... i called him to Dressrosa so you could finally meet him but he decided to 'prove you'... i dont know what was on his mind. I have the treasure located and coming back to the chamber."

"You have a child." Doflamingo looked at the verge of an aneurysm, gritting his teeth.

"I do, please, don't punish him... i thake the responsability." his lips curled in a strange smile, like he was trying to fake it.

"I am honored to meet your son, it's impressive to know how skilled he is, maybe he can join court..." clearly Doffy was having a hard time trying not to kill you son.

Sr. Crocodile

Experience 0, oblivious 100%

He was on his office, doing work and you appeared with your son.

"Croc..." he turned the chair and looked at you both, "dear, i told you i don't need more agents... i don't know how you contacted someone with such a high bounty but i don't need it." and he turned the chair again.

"This is my son..." Crocodile was thankfull for being backwards to you cause he choked on the cigar.

"Your what?"

"SIr Crocodile, i am (Y/N)'s son, i was hoping to meet you and bond a little, i wasn't expecting a job... but if you give it to me i am not going to complain."

"You already have a job as bounty hunter, don't try to take advantage of this." you poked your son's cheek under Crocodile's surprised look.

"I..." he cleared his throat, trying to sound serious and prepared, "pleasure to meet you child, i would have appreaciate it a warning."

"I warned you, i left a note on the fridge that said 'special meeting today, i have a surprise'" your son started to laugh.

"That sounded like a booty call, jajaja, maybe he was expecting you to come here in lingerie." you punched your son on the head to make him shut up.

"I can make a reserve on the restaurant we both like and i can know you better." he tried to sound profesional but your son was right, he tought you would give him a sexy surprise, not this.

Smoker

He was really tired of dealing with teenage pirates.

He spent the last week chasing and fighting agaisnt a new supernova, he was tired and just wants to get home to you.

"Hello love." he said while hanging his uniform, then he got to the living room and saw that same supernova playing cards with you, "i don't know what you are doing here bastard but you are not going to hurt my..."

"Relax old men, i was just paying a visit to my mother." Smoker got his mind reset.

"Smoker sweetie, this is my son."

"How couldn it be your son? you are a marine."

"Same happens with Garp, but he is a grandfather.... i think maybe this is a nice time for you two to meet." you were really nervous but tried to sound chill and smooth.

"Oh mother, we already know each other, thi sis the man that has been chasing me all week." the moment got worse every second and you wanted to hide, but you felt Smoker sat next to you and put his arm on your should, "noooo, cut the romantic things, i am going to throw up."

"Don't talk to us like that, yesterday i was furious that you were so childish but right now, i wont tolerate you talking to your mother or me with such a disrespectful tone." you had to hide a laugh, he clearly was getting his frustations out but at the same time trying to be nice. "so tell me, how can a son of a marine officer become a pirate?"

"Well..." and you knew that this would be a long night.

Akagami Shanks

Since Luffy and Uta, he was out of the parenting thing, for now.

You were sleeping and suddently canons started to burst on the ship, you got dressed and prepared to a new day at board.

"I am xxxxx, and i will defeat you, Red Head SHanks."

"On your dreams, child." canons were still bursting when you got on the ship and saw the attacker of the ship.

"Mom?" "Son?" you both said at the same time, Shanks mouth touched the ground.

"Come here you little prick, how could you blow the ship of your mother's fiancee."

"You are engaged? i didn't got the letter nor invitation, you don't love me or what? i know we don't live together anymore but..."

"I sent it yesterday, it should get to you in a couple of hours but... we took the covers of various newspapers, how could you not saw it?"

"You know i don't read that bullshit..." you both were yelling at each other from the ships, until Shanks decided to finally talk.

"And when i was going to know this?"

"Today!" he coudln't even talk, his mind was going to fast, another problematic child.

"Boy, stop blasting canons and get on the ship... i love your mother and i want to marry her, i can kill you."

"You are not going to kill me, i am going to defeat you."

"You can try, after the wedding and only if i am looking." you yelled at him and went to Shanks, "leave him, he is excited in reality to meet you."

"I must recompose myself, i must make him see i am a good stepfather."

[rubywillkins]

Hi, this is an order for your cafee. Dont know if I picked too much, i just did one from each.

Can I have skim Milk, bruchetta, spaghetti, club soda, pork chops, potato gnocci and dark mocha. With mv1 x fem reader🩷

Thank youuu

Sure darling ♥️, you didn't pick much sweety its actually a bit less so the ff will be a bit short ♥️

Max Verstappen|

Tension and Tenderness

Pairing max Verstappen × female reader

Skim milk dry humping bruschetta edging spaghetti hand cuffs club soda pillow talk pork chops "so good for me, look at how much you came" potato gnocchi "shh, just look at me, baby" dark mocha dating

The paddock was buzzing with its usual energy. Y/N stood near Max's Red Bull garage, chatting animatedly with one of the mechanics, Lucas. She admired how Lucas was always so patient explaining the technical intricacies of Max’s car, and her curiosity often led her to these lighthearted conversations.

Max, who had just wrapped up his debrief, spotted them from a distance. His jaw tightened as he saw Y/N laughing at something Lucas said. The warmth in her eyes sent a pang of jealousy through him, though he knew deep down it was irrational.

By the time Y/N rejoined him, Max’s mood had visibly shifted.

“Had a good chat?” he asked curtly, his tone sharp.

“Yeah, Lucas was just explaining how the new setup impacts—”

“Lucas this, Lucas that,” Max interrupted, his voice low but edged with annoyance. “You seem to spend more time with him than me lately.”

Y/N frowned, caught off guard. “Max, are you seriously jealous? He’s just being nice and answering my questions.”

Max huffed but didn’t reply, his blue eyes betraying the storm brewing within. They finished the rest of their day in strained silence, the usual playful banter replaced by tension.

The drive home was quiet, and Y/N felt the weight of his emotions. Max rarely let his insecurities show, but when he did, it hit hard.

As soon as they stepped into their shared apartment, she turned to him. “Max, talk to me. What’s really going on?”

He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. “I don’t like seeing you with him, okay? It gets to me. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. You’re mine, and the thought of someone else catching your attention...”

She stepped closer, placing her hands on his chest. “You’re the only one I want, Max. You have nothing to worry about.”

His eyes softened, but the tension in his body remained. Without another word, he pulled her into a deep kiss, pouring all his unspoken emotions into it. Y/N felt the shift—his jealousy melting into need, his anger replaced by a longing to feel connected.

The night unfolded in a whirlwind of passion and tenderness. Max’s hands explored her as if reminding himself she was his, every touch filled with a mix of possessiveness and love. "You deserve to be punished young lady" he said while putting handcuffs on you... You hesitate a bit but you were enjoying it.. you don't see this side of max often..

He picked you up and made you sit on his lap kissing you roughly.. his hands caressing your ass and slowly pushing it towards his hardening dick...

At this point you were also turned on and both of your bodies were moving in sync Fully clothed...

"max.. don't make me more needy baby... Just put it in.. pls.." you said yearning to feel his dick inside you...

"Not so easily baby, this is a punishment.." he said smirking...

In one go both of your clothes were on the floor..

He inserted himself into you .. making you gasp because of the sudden movement...

It felt so good.. he was slowly pounding into you making it unbearable for you...

"baby pls.. pls a bit fast" you said.. "are you sure"

He started to pound in you roughly.. it was good very good but rough at the same time.. but he pulled out the moment you were about to cum...

"oh.. god no... Max... Why don't you let me cum"

"its a punishment baby" " max pls..it didn't feel good" you said with your big baby eyes.. which melted his heart right away.. "shh, just look at me, baby"

He started pounding into you again this time perfectly.. not too much rough.. but it felt amazing to you... When you both were about to cum.. he increased his pace go max.. it was good.. infact it was the best part... And you both came at the same time..

"so good for me, look at how much you came"

He said resting his head on your head panting from cuming right into you...

they lay tangled in the sheets, their breathing slowing as the adrenaline ebbed. Max traced lazy patterns on her bare shoulder, his head resting against hers.

“I’m sorry for overreacting,” he murmured. “I trust you, I do. It’s just...sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have you.”

She turned to face him, her fingers brushing through his messy hair. “Max, you don’t have to be jealous. Lucas is a friend, but you’re the one I love. You’re my everything.”

His lips curved into a small smile. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” she promised, leaning in to kiss him softly.

They stayed like that for hours, talking about everything and nothing—his next race, their plans for the future, and the little moments that made their relationship special. The vulnerability in their conversation only deepened their bond, and by the time sleep claimed them, the earlier tension was a distant memory.

In the quiet of the night, wrapped in each other’s arms, they both knew they had something unshakable.

[kingkai4ever]

i love you you're so right about calypso!!! putting this anon because i dont doubt that people will send death threats to me if i openly express that i hate this ship.

another point: even if she DID have her aging stopped on the island, which is very much so unconfirmed, she still aged before? like? she was at MINIMUM 100+ mentally when she got to the island. gods age QUICK. that wasn't a baby. she's not 16, because appearance ≠ age. artemis looks twelve, canonically. except artemis is absolutely Not Twelve™.

some of these guys are pulling their defenses out of their ass. even if she was 16, screaming at and berating leo for his appearance (a sore spot of his + out of his control) and trying to... *checks notes*... make a machine to save a missing child? like? thats all he did and she went on a full page long rant about how "YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR MACHINES! NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED WITH A PROGRAM!!!"

also, if she's 16, then her trying to get with percy was ALSO VERY WEIRD! because he was 14 at the time. she was implied to be physically attracted to an /unconscious 14 year old boy./ also, iirc she changed his clothes. while he was UNCONSCIOUS.

hardcore caleo fans are like conspiracy theorists. you can wave the evidence in front of their face and they'll never believe you. rick also violently ripped away all chance of a support system that leo might have had (everyone in his life, including the people providing his housing, are on her side despite clear abuse)

lets be honest here. caleo would not be nearly as popular as it is if the characters were genderswapped.

I love how you said this and I agree as well!

I think smth people forget is that…we don’t know who calypso’s mom is, meaning that there is a possibility that she could’ve been immortal beforehand because of who her mother was. Also, even if she was mentally a 16 year old she is acting like a jerk. What 16 year old would berate and try to discourage her boyfriend constantly?

And also, “Percy was 14 she was 16 it was fine!”

She’s physically 16. And I looked at the pjo wiki and guess what it says? 4612. She’s the same age as apollo. “But it’s chronologically!” Well Apollo as Lester was chronologically 4612 years old but you guys said he was a child liker so confessing to Reyna when Apollo is eternally youthful.

No normal 16 year old would try to discourage their boyfriend from trying to find a missing person. No normal 16 year old would insult someone’s appearance the second they see them. Some 16 year old do but you wanna know what type they are? Jerks.

It just blows my mind that people will look at Apollo and call him a kid liker for confessing to Reyna when calypso dated a 15 year old and she is the same age as him. And also since I have to clarify to people. Time does move slowly on her island. But if she actively knows what is happening with her curse and everything, knowing that she’s a technical immortal, don’t you find that weird?

It’s not like the lotus casino where the victims are literally BRAINWASHED into forgetting basically everything about themselves and they age slowly. Yes calypso ages slowly on her island, but I find it hard to believe she’s just some little girl if nowhere does it say that she doesn’t mentally age or imply it. At least in the lotus casino it’s implied what happened just with Bianca and Nico + the trio when they got there in the first book.

Also I wanted to answer a question while I’m typing this

“Why are you going all crazy over this? It’s just books!” (This isn’t what the official anon said they were actually very nice I just can’t remember what they said but ty for asking this question! :) )

I’m going “crazy” over this because the main target audience for Percy Jackson….are children. Like, pre-teens and all. At that age you are still very naive and can still learn things from the world, pieces of media and etc that can change your behaviors and opinions.

I remember being a preteen and shipping….oh god…TomTord EWWWW.



And we all know that ship sucked and was pretty abusive and idk why we all said that was a good ship to do LOL. But an entire group of people was influenced by a toxic and abusive ship into thinking it’s good and cute ignoring the very obvious abuse signs.

Now I’m not calling pre-teens dumb or anything like that, I’m saying that pre-teens still are developing, they don’t know who they are, so what good is it to them if they’re told “this person likes to 🍇pe people and is attracted to minors but ignore that and look at this abusive ship that we’re trying to say is cute!”

You get my point? What happens to those kids that think that, that’s how a real relationship should work? That a woman can prey on them and say “it’s fine”?

I don’t want kids thinking that these behaviors are normal, that it shows how a real relationship should look like. If we can decrease the amount of child victims in any way it’s good, but telling kids saying that a clearly abusive and predatory ship is okay it’s disgusting.

Male victims are real victims, I don’t care what gender you identify as or what sexuality you are, if you are affected by someone like an abusive and predatory person then you are a victim.

And we need to stop telling kids that these relationships are normal. We need to tell them to stay away from people like this, that they shouldn’t be forced into an abusive or predatory relationship, to not become that.

I don’t want kids thinking that this stuff is normal and cute, because teaching young kids that is terrible and disgusting. And the reason we should hate calypso isn’t “she cursed Annabeth” but the fact that she is a 🍇pist and a predator and an abusive partner that manipulates and guilt trips people into getting what she wants.

That’s the reason I hate calypso. If it wasn’t okay for into do, or if it wasn’t okay for Apollo to confess to Reyna, then it shouldn’t be okay for calypso to do it either.

[qoldenskies]

I wonder how much Splinter picks apart the memory of Donnie crawling to him and asking for guidance that day.

How apologetic he was for interrupting Splinter at all. The questions—are you mad at me, do you think I’m selfish—and how genuinely childish and young they were in nature. Whether Donnie would have told him what had happened if Splinter hadn’t interrupted him. How long it took before Donnie came to him for help. How when Splinter asked “Are you sure you have not upset them?” the answer was “Maybe, I think so.” “Have you done anything to make them angry with you?” and even with what his brothers had done to him, what Leo had done to him, Donnie still said “Probably.” Agreed when Splinter said they had a reason for treating him that way.

He had the same conversation with April months later, and yet the seeds of it had been here, too—had been there years before.

sometimes i am caught between feeling so bad for splinter and kind of hoping he internalizes the way he brushed him off for of the rest of his life. there's a good chance he will think of that conversation EVERY time donnie reaches out to him looking for a savior or protector, especially after april leaves and he's the only "safe person" in the house when donnie cant think straight.

in an attempt to be unlike of HIS oppressive family he went the opposite way and went for a more relaxed style of parenting, and he veered too hard in that direction and COMPLETELY turned a blind eye to such horrifying abuse happening. it kind of reminds me of like turtle dega nights where he's so shocked to realize the shit they just get up to. for like. fun. he's NOT in a position to shelter them without pushback and he understands that now, which is a big reason he leaves them to make their own decisions when it comes to kitsune.

its hard to find a line between acknowledging theyre independent in a way he cant really stop and need to be treated with that respect and acknowledging theyre children! just kids! his baby boys!!! he's so used to seeing them silly and unserious around him that he hasn't properly processed the weight of his passive neglect until all of THIS blew up in his face. and i think that's best shown through him dismissing donnie. they mostly fell out of conversation after that point, but im sure they exchanged a few words sometime in between (for the sake of realism, its something to acknowledge) and i think splinter would think of that a lot too. why didn't he notice donnie was starting to look up so beat up? getting thinner and thinner? just disappearing during leo's birthday?? staring through him whenever splinter shot im a quick hello on the way to the kitchen??? originally that conversation weighed on the back of his mind already (because i dont think donnie comes to him for comfort like THAT much, technically i think in cc that was usually leo's job. rooftop conversations and all that), but obviously he wouldnt correlate it with any red flags now. just like how april didnt WANT to assume they were doing anything wrong because the four of them were so close, malice just didnt feel like a REALISTIC thing to expect from them and they were acting normal to her!!

cannot even begin to imagine how he was feeling in cw ch1. hearing about most of what they did and seeing how tiny and roughed up donnie was is one thing, and seeing him cling to his robe and inconsolably sob and scream for his daddy is another. splinter probably cant help but wonder if this is what donnie had wanted the whole time. cant help but wonder if he would have reacted like this at ANY point before it all got this far. all he had to do is reach out, for once. to ask HIM if he's okay, for once.

and he didn't.

[losergender]

just 22 chapters more...

she has a tendency to say "there's no justice in this cruel world" but it loses all impact because she will use it both after idk stabbing her toe on a table or after she's been beaten to a near death state

she just used the word hellacious

"good, hard-working, big breasted people" okay

i dont think i am at a state of mind in which i can survive a love triangle with her war criminal teacher and her henchman billionaire emotional discomfort italian

there's so much talk about how she's worse because she's not fully spartan (she's mixed which they call mutt for no reason) but,,, everyone else but 1 guy is a mutt?? and i think achilles was one too?? like him and patroclus are constantly degrading her for that but achilles for the love of god whats that mutt on mutt crime for

everyone hold up someone's talking to her

she's being offered an alliance to survive the hellish military school program they're at and she goes "is he offering me to join a cult? i'd read those were a big problem nowadays. dark times and all." which for the love of god does the entire publishing house not have a single sensitivity reader

oh she has to tutor a guy with maths

"how can you get through a day without knowing linear algebra" what in the fanon annabeth is this

i genuinely fw this guy (also she saw her kill 3 men and has been mentioning it every so often but the reason she wont tutor him is that he doesnt know the basics)

she is very incompetent but none of the guys who have been training for this their whole life seem any more competent

there's this guy insulting and theatening his student for being narcoleptic and she went "preach, sister"

SHE CALLED THE GUY INSULTING AND HITTING THE STUDENT ATTRACTIVE AND CHARISMATIC OH NO

WE GOT THE CONFIRMATION THAT SHE DID GO TO ASL CLASSES THIS IS WAY MORE THAN I WAS EXPECTING

i also want to say that im like half way through this and she has yet to be hercules outside of the fact that they think her dad might be zeus? which applies to way more characters than hercules

"satan: 1 / alexis: 0" ok

i do like that she kicks men in the balls

"pussy power, crush the patriarchy!" imagine being this author and you go on a date with someone and they ask you what you do for a living and you have to say you wrote this. is it not embarrassing?

she got a nosebleed and her extremely acidic spartan blood is not really corrupting anything idk. back in my day nosebleeds awakened the mother land but ok

surprise to no one she's most likely cthonic

"i was worried you were gonna die a virgin. what a dishonor" miss you were overthrowing the patriarchy 2 paragraphs ago and now you're encouraging your best friend to fuck her teacher

carl gauss mention

"it's obvious he LOATHES you but it doesn't mean he doesn't want to murder you in bed" be serious

SHE JUST REFERENCED MIDSOMMAR 2019 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

"delusion was a girl of a drug" wouldn't last a day in florida

the chapter ends with "spoiler: it wasn't gonna work out" for the love of god

welcome to sunny reacting to stuff in which sunny reacts to stuff. in this tumblr post, we're dealing with blood of hercules (the i'm a girl and as it turns out i'm hercules book) because i'm doing So Bad Mentally that i am in dire need of something that will make me laugh.

chapter 1 reaction below

montana?? out of all states?? okay go off

"kids at school called it apocalytic core. i called it hell" already laughing. i love my life decisions.

SUPERSEED I'M SORRY WHAT?

"if you wanted to live (i didn't)" you and me both bestie

does the author know verb tenses

i'm saying so little bc otherwise the post would be huge. every single sentence is hilariously bad this is so silly

summary if anyone is interested -> pretty unclear dystopian setting, 10-yo befriends an echidna named nyx and then gets a foster brother delivered to her room the next day. the titans are like superhumans killing normal people and the "spartans" are 12 protector families (8 are olympian, 4 are cthonic and those are dangerous murderers or something).

[art-the-f-up]

hear me out... what if...

(I'm tired but I'll provide more context in a reblog later)

[tubbytarchia]

gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)

[strwbrryfire]

brand new, full throttle

so high school - taylor swift

[puppppppppy]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.

[introspectivememories]

sometimes i wonder what was the source of the obsessiveness between lewis and nico, knowing each other since childhood? i was always curious about lewis acting "no homo" when it came to nico?? is there an answer? i don't really want to have what they had. sounds intense

i'm sorry i'm not answering any of your other questions but "i don't really want to have what they had" is sooo fuckin funny to me

[dykedvonte]

Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)

Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭

What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is

-💀

I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.

If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.

The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.

If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.

I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.

It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.

In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.

In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.

They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.

If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.

I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.

[every-sanji]

[deus-ex-mona]

when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~