#DONT ASK ME HOW I DID I JUST DID IT IT WAS HARD
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ashwhowrites · 2 days ago
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Ohhh babes I saw you want angst and YES Miscommunication + secret dating TOTES SOUNDS 🔥 . So, Eddie n reader dating on the dl bc Eddie worried reader would get treated bad or bullied?? but he didn’t actually tell her that Just asked to keep it secret/quiet/whatev. So maybe Billy Steve or ??? knows Eddie is her friend and asks Eddie like whats she like, she dating anyone, I wanna take her out.
And Eddie straight panics and instead of oh she’s got a boyfriend at another school or some smart… he down talks her. she boring, annoying, she always [thing reader actually does alot!], dont bother. And course reader hears and is right devastated and thinks thats why the dl, cause he’s embarrassed/using her for sex/it’s all a big joke to him.
After end of day in private she breaks up with him, doesn’t say she overheard. Eddie has no idea what he did wrong, she avoids him, won’t talk. He’s broken. Finally he finds out she heard what he said and what she thinks. Could it end happy eventually? Like maybe he makes a loud speech like he does on the caff tables to show he’s never been embarrassed of her, yeah?
Hurt me with the angst babes. Xoxo
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
DL
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Y/N wasn't the best at keeping secrets, everything she felt was said on her face. She never saw the point in secrets, which is why she felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world. Because here she was keeping her whole damn six month relationship a secret.
It wasn't that she wanted to. Her boyfriend begged her and she tried to understand. She loved being with Eddie and it hurt to be a secret. She wanted to be with him so she agreed to give him time.
She felt like six months was enough time. She was growing a little irradiated and bothered. Anytime they talked about it Eddie said he was ready. But it never seems to happen.
Eddie locked the van and the two began walking towards the small restaurant. Y/N walked close by, her hand inching to slide her hand in his. Upon contact, Eddie was fast to move his hand in his pocket. Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat and added a bit of space between them.
"About time," Dustin groaned, welcoming the two to the table. Y/N sat across, moving over for Eddie to fit in the spot next to her. She wasn't surprised when he took the seat next to Dustin instead, but it still hurt.
"What's that?" Dustin asked, noticing a dark mark on Eddie's neck. Y/N felt her cheeks burn as she realized she left something behind from their makeout earlier. Dustin flicked the mark, making Eddie hiss.
Eddie quickly looked at Y/N, her smirk obvious. "Nothing."
"That's a hickey! Who are you getting nasty with?" Dustin teased
"Some random chick at the bar, drop it," Eddie hissed through his teeth. Y/N knew it was a lie, obviously, but hearing his lie made her stomach turn.
"Damn dude, massive hickey," Steve laughed as he joined the group, sliding into the open spot near Y/N. Eddie stiffened when Steve was shoulder-to-shoulder with her.
"Yeah apparently a chick at the bar," Dustin giggled, "Was it Lauren? She always looks at you after your shows."
Eddie gulped as Y/N's hard gaze landed on him. She'd been to see him play a few times, and she didn't know who this Lauren was.
"Lauren? Who's that, Eddie?" she asked, a fake smile plastered on her face
"I've never talked to her, so I don't know who she is. And it wasn't her so like I said, drop it," Eddie demanded. The table got awkward as Eddie fumed as he looked over the menu.
Y/N couldn't help but glare at him over the top of her menu. Maybe she wasn't the only secret girl in his life.
"Anyway, how is your day going?" Steve asked, Eddie looked up to see who the question was for. His blood boiling as Steve turned his body to face Y/N completely.
Dustin tried to talk to Eddie, but he was laser-focused on Steve flirting with his girlfriend.
~~~
Eddie didn't realize how big of a mistake it was to be a secret until he was hit with the reality of someone wanting her.
"DON'T RUN!" Steve yelled as the gang ran through the arcade. Eddie laughed as they ignored him, running without a care in the world.
Eddie went to walk away but Steve grabbed his arm. Eddie froze and looked down at his hand, making Steve retreat.
"Sorry, I just wanted to ask you something," Steve said. He nervously put his hands in his pockets. "You and Y/N are pretty close right?"
Eddie felt a hot rush of jealousy run through his body, just by hearing another man say her name. "Why?"
"Do you know if she's seeing anyone? The few times she's been around I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I want to ask her out," Steve explained. Eddie scoffed at the red blush that coated his cheeks. He was blushing over his girlfriend?
"Y/N, oh you don't want to ask her out!" Eddie scoffed, letting out a soft chuckle.
"Why?" Steve awkwardly laughed. Neither boy recognized Y/N walking up to them.
"She-she-uh- she's so clingy. I've heard from all of her ex-boyfriends that she's good in bed, but that's it. She's got a boring personality. She's a bit annoying, with all her "save the planet, don't do drugs, and cigarettes are poison". You look like an independent guy, Steve. Do you want a girl to nag and control you?" Eddie asked, planting a hard smack on the boy's shoulder. Steve hissed at the connection, rubbing the skin when Eddie removed his hand.
Y/N felt her throat burn as she took in Eddie's words. It all made sense now. He was embarrassed by her, hell he didn't even like her. He was interested in the sex, that's all she was good for. She swallowed her sobs and walked off. She didn't care to hear what Steve would say. She was falling in love with Eddie and he couldn't stand her.
Eddie smiled in victory as Steve walked off to a machine. With the sudden interest in Y/N, Eddie felt the need to see his girlfriend. He didn't bother to say goodbye to anyone, heading out to his van.
It didn't take long for him to arrive at her house. He parked his van down the street and snuck over to her window. He pulled himself up on her roof, thankful it was night so no one would be calling the cops.
He tapped on her window.
She sighed as she heard Eddie at her window. She wasn't ready to see him.
"Come on, baby. I wanna see you,"
She wiped off her face and walked to the window. She opened the curtain but didn't open the window.
"What the hell do you want?" She spat. Eddie flinched at the venom on her tongue.
"Woah, what the hell did I do?" Eddie asked.
"Are you going to tell people about us?" She asked, keeping her head held high.
"Baby," he sighed, she scoffed and shook her head. She already knows the speech.
"We're done, Munson. Now get the fuck off my roof," she hissed. She closed her curtains and raced to shut off her light.
Eddie stared at his reflection as he tried to process what happened. He rapidly knocked on her window but she never came back.
"Y/N!" He harshly whispered, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching. He continued to knock but left that night with no reply.
~
The next morning Eddie was already racing back to her house.
But again, got no reply.
~~~
It took around three days for the gang to notice Y/N wasn't around. They all wanted to ask but there was this look on Eddie's face that made them scared to ask. Dustin was worried for his friend. Eddie was always moody and snippy. But now he seemed so sad and in pain. Dark bags under his eyes and his voice always sounded dry and cracked.
Steve felt a little awkward about it. Feeling like he was the cause of whatever happened.
No one in the gang was close enough to her to ask her what happened. So everyone was stuck with not knowing what went down between the two.
Eddie's eyes followed her everywhere. It seemed no matter where she went, those brown puppy eyes were warning her skin. She knew she'd suffer with seeing him at school, but she didn't think he'd be so obvious that he suffered too. She was shocked to see he was affected but she convinced herself she didn't care.
Eddie was falling apart and he didn't care to hide it. He had one amazing thing in his life and he fucked it up.
Eddie let another week pass before he got desperate. He knew he was going to look insane, but he was done. The next time he saw her, in the halls at school, he quickly picked her up and locked them in a classroom.
"Are you insane!" She hissed, slapping him as he dropped her.
"It's time we talk,"
"I don't want to talk, Eddie. I told you we're done," she went to walk past him but he stepped in front of her.
"Can I explain myself? If you knew why I kept us a secret, it might help," he pleaded but she shoved him against the wall.
Her face was close to his as she stared him down. "I know exactly why you wanted to keep us a secret."
"You do?" He gulped. He was embarrassed that he got bullied as practically a young man.
"I heard everything you had to say to Steve. So no, knowing that my boyfriend doesn't even like me doesn't help at all! I'm glad I gave you a few good fucks, asshole. I'll make sure to give Steve the best head of his life so he can ignore all the flaws about me."
Eddie growled as Steve's name left her lips. He harshly grabbed the back of her neck and shoved his lips against hers. He was possessive and jealous, reminding her he was the best she'd ever had. She fought to not kiss him back but she was weak. She melted into him and lost herself in his lips.
"No one will ever have you like I do," he growled.
She shoved him away from her. "Well to the whole world, I'm open to take."
"I made all that shit up, okay? I didn't want Steve to go after you. I got jealous and instead of telling the truth, I choked. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean anything I said."
"If you didn't mean anything you said, then why am I still your secret?" she whimpered. She felt exhausted from the secrets, it was making their relationship harder than it needed to be. "I am so tired of being ignored by you. I feel used when we have sex and the very next day, I'm nothing to you. You don't want anyone to have me, yet it seems like you don't even want me." Eddie frowned as tears slipped down her face.
"Please don't cry, baby. I do want you, and I'll always want you. It's just that I'm a loser, baby. The town hates me, and I'm a held-back senior who still gets bullied by the jocks. It's embarrassing, I'm embarrassing. And I didn't want you to receive the treatment I get. You don't deserve to be treated like shit because you gave me a chance," he explained. She could see all the emotion in his eyes and she sensed all the truth he spoke. "I thought I was protecting you but I can see I did it all wrong."
"I don't care about anyone or what they think. All I've wanted was for us to be together," she whispered as she cupped his face, allowing him to press his body against hers.
"I'm sorry for everything. I love you so much and I want everyone to know. I don't want anyone to think they have a chance with you," he muttered, his lips inches away from hers.
"Then show them,"
He smirked and ran out the door. She wasn't sure where he was going to go, quickly following. He busted through the cafeteria doors and stood on a table with his dirty sneakers.
"Eddie!" Y/N hissed but he sent her a wink.
"ATTENTION PLEASE!" the room went quiet as they turned to look at Eddie. Some people whispering.
"IS ANYONE HERE INTERESTED IN THE LOVELY Y/N?"
She felt her skin burn as the attention turned to her. She begged Eddie to get done but this was what she asked for.
Eddie didn't wait for anyone to answer, "TOO BAD. SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"Can you get down here now?" she asked, Eddie stepped down and the cafeteria went back to talking among themselves.
"That work for you?" he asked, scooping her in his arms. She laughed and nodded. He gave her a quick peck on the lips before a teacher came over to discipline him for his commotion.
"See you after detention, m'lady," another wink sent her way.
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3liza · 9 hours ago
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i mean the truth is that we do not need and should not have all this stupid plastic clutter in or houses. no one should be producing or selling this shit. everyone make your own merchandise and charge a living hourly wage to sell it 🤷 sorry to be so simplistic about this but it's one of the results of the lack of class unity specifically in the means of production-owning creative class, who is not mentioned or dealt with by the core Marxist texts as far as I know (i asked about this earlier on here, did marx ever address in his analysis people like, for example, a professional photographer who owns a camera ans prints his own dagguereotypes? or a portrait painter or idk, independent milliner or seamstress? these people all own the means of production and do not employ anyone, and the answer from better educated people than I was that no, Marx didn't mention them), I'm not well read on this at all, there is just a big void where leftist analysis of what modern economists call "the creative class"
I'm getting off topic. my point is make your own keychains in your kitchen. it's actually not hard. you can even mass produce (on a small scale) little plastic crap if you want, with resin and a UV lamp, or a 3d printer, or a laser cutter and acrylic sheets (or just use balsa wood damn, at least its biodegradable and less tacky).
all this stuff is available to little creators AND there are hundreds of people who already own these machines who will take work for you and produce your designs. you just have to actually find them and know them and email them. that's what I mean about the class unity issue with creatives. we have no large scale union, we have no large scale class consciousness, and we're all sending our orders for little plastic crap to sweatshops instead of emailing a guy with a laser cutter in his garage and saying "hey Keith can I get uhhhhhhhhhhh 50 laser cut keychains of this twerking Diggler design I made, like how much would that cost" and he's like sure here's the work and materials cost and tbh it's always always less than i think it's going to be. you just have to do some basic arithmetic and then order shipping, and I hate order fulfillment with my life but you can actually pay or barter with someone to do that for you too. learn to delegate and then factor that into your unit cost. this is basic shit every commercial creator needs to know. they should teach you this in art school but they dont
don't give me crap about "I can't afford a laser cutter" either because I just told you to email Keith. and all these machines get sold secondhand when a manufacturer or hobbyist needs to upgrade. i got a color laser printer perfect for making zines and wheatpastes and shipping labels from a retired lesbian on capital hill for $75 and it was still full of ink. my friend gave me her 20 year old canon dslr because she just didn't need it and didn't want to bother selling it. it works fine because I spent the time finding the right drivers and shit for my computer. and card readers exist. Craigslist. Facebook marketplace. nextdoor sales section. eBay. everyone always forgets eBay. eBay lets you save searches and will email you when it finds a guy selling his vinyl plotter in your city with local pickup. I'm serious
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not-your-kitten17 · 3 days ago
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I wrote this and posted it a while ago, and i wanted to reblog, but i can find it, so i will post it again because i want this so bad and i keep thinking about it
Dont let them know
Sat on mommys lap playing video games with your friends. Not realising that,as you are getting innocently excited, you are gently bouncing on her lap,grinding into her with every movement and bounce. She tells you softly in your ear" baby, stop moving " you absentmindly agree but only stop for a short time before you start again. After the game round ends, your mommy speaks loudly " whats that baby? You are alittle overwhelmed, poor baby " you look at her confused, you are feeling fine before you can agrue back, she speaks again " guys, we are going to go upstairs so darling can calm down, you can play the next round without us " as she grabs your arm and gently drags you out the room, subtly glaring at you not to challenge her, you hear your friends say bye and how they hope you feel better soon.
You dont dare speak as you are dragged into the bathroom, confused on what is going on as she locks the door. Just as you open your mouth about to ask whats happening, mommy speaks lowly " I told you to stop moving on my lap, grinding your pretty little arse into me like that. Such a naughty girl, you did that on purpose didnt you? Get me all worked up thinking i wouldnt do anything while we are at our friends? " you stutter " w-what? No! No! I didnt mean it i promise! I just got excited as i was winning i promise mommy! " mommy just hums, staring at you for a moment, just long enough to make you nervously squirm. And then she sighs and smirks " well, whether you meant it or not, you still didnt listen when i told you to stop and now mommy is all wet and worked up...and you are going to fix what you caused" you gasp " b-but we are at our freinds, what if they hear us! " " dont worry baby, mommy can be quiet and you will be too smothered in my pussy for any noises to be heard. Now get on your knees. Now!"
You kneel, and she pulls down her joggers and soaked underwear. " Come on, what are you waiting for? Eat" you take a second too long so she sighs, roughly grabs your hair and forces your face into her, sighing in relief and starts to grind on your face "hurry and stick out your tongue and make mommy feel good or do i have to make a mess of your face so everyone knows what a little whore you are hmm? " you quickly get to work " ah thats it baby, if you do a good job and behave, maybe i wont fuck you so hard in here that everyone hears what a little slut you are.... i will just fuck you enough to leave you dripping all night "
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mooonage-daydreamer · 3 days ago
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hey guys! this is my first ever micro-fic for the marauders! i hope it’s ok xx
marauders playing monopoly- 705 words - hope u enjoy!
It was already 11 p.m; how is it possible for a monopoly game to last this long? Remus thought to himself. Mary had fallen asleep on Lily’s shoulder, Remus was reading his book, and James looked as though he was on the verge of tears; it was just Sirius and Marlene shouting at each other. Remus was certain no one had any idea what they were arguing over at this point, but none of them really cared; they all wanted the game to just finish already. Finally, the arguing died down, but then Lily nudged him to draw his attention from his book and let him know it was his turn. Why did he agree to ever play in the first place?
“Remind me to never play monopoly with Sirius and Marlene again," he asked Lily. She looked just as fed up as he was and sighed in agreement. He took his turn, and unfortunately, he landed on Sirius’ property.
“HA!” Sirius exclaimed, “That will be 200 quid, thank you very much, my dear Moony!”
“I’ve ran out of money," replied Remus. He hadn’t really; he just didn’t have the energy to play anymore.
“WHAT!” replied Sirius angrily. “THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET PAYED?"
“Padfoot! Calm down!” James said.
“BUT HE NEEDS TO PAY ME! HE LANDED ON MY PROPERTY, SO HE MUST PAY ME! THATS HOW THE GAME WORKS!” argued Sirius.
“That wasn’t the rule five minutes ago when you landed on my property," Marlene retorted quietly.
“Look,” James replied, “why don’t we just call it quits for tonight? We’re all tired, and we want to go to bed.”
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement except Sirius and Marlene, of course.
“THATS NOT FAIR THOUGH!” they shouted in unison. They glanced at each other, then back at James.
“If you two are so desperate to win,” interrupted Remus, “why don’t you two just carry on?”
For the first time in that long evening, everyone agreed, even Sirius and Marlene.
“Fine.” Marlene said while glaring at Sirius.
They all knew it was a bad idea to leave the two most competitive people alone while playing a board game, but they were all too tired to care. Peter, James, Remus, Lily, and Mary all headed upstairs to go to bed, but only minutes later they heard more shouting.
"NO, YOU DONT DESERVE MY MONEY!” screamed Marlene.
"THAT IS NOT HOW THE GAME WORKS!” screeched Sirius.
"WELL, THE RULES ARE ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT! WHY SHOULD I GIVE MY HARD-EARNED MONEY TO A CRIMINAL?” Marlene shrieked.
“ITS NOT MY FAULT IM IN JAIL!” yelled Sirius.
“Ok, rock, paper, scissor, who goes down to sort this out as they clearly can’t sort it out themselves?" suggested Remus.
“Good idea,” Lily responded, “rock, paper, scissors shoot!”
“For fuck sake,” Remus complained, “it was my idea; why do I have to do it?"
“Remus, please,” Peter said, “we don’t give a shit what you do, just sort it.”
"Ugh, fine,” he replied. So Remus made his way down the stairs, but just as soon as he reached the bottom, Sirius bombarded him with questions.
“MOONY! "DON'T YOU AGREE WITH ME?" he asked. “RULES ARE RULES RIGHT?”
Remus just ignored him and slowly started walking over to the monopoly board. Once he reached the board, he looked them both in the eye and just flipped the board upside down. “There”, he thought, the game was finished.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” Sirius and Marlene screamed at him.
Ignoring them, Remus began making his way back up the stairs to join the others. Peter looked at him with genuine fear in his face. “Moony, what have you done?" he asked.
“We all wanted the game to end, right?” he said. There were murmurs of agreement.
“So I just did the simplest thing and flipped the board over.”
"Oh, Moony, mate, you’re absolutely fucked.”
James told him.
“I mean, someone had to do it,” Mary responded while yawning. “Does this mean we can go to bed now?”
“Yes,” Lily said almost immediately, “come on.”
It was almost 1 a.m. when the screaming finally died down. Remus assumed they had fallen asleep while arguing. ‘I’m chucking that board game out when I wake up tomorrow’, Remus thought to himself
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ldrdynamite3d · 3 days ago
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why arent i losing weight? ive been stuck at 66kg for ages now and its so annoying. im starting to doubt i even have an ed bc im fat
ive been eating 500-800kcals everyday for months yet havent lost any significant weight, if anything i look fatter. im trying to start a sport but litch everything is so expensive, i could just bike around tho ngl
does anyone know why this is? its like my body wont change no matter what i eat , which is weird cus i could also binge 1500kcal and still not gain ?? its so confusing like should i just cut food completely? i want to but its so hard without my parents noticing cus they know abr my ed (im getting school nurse help for it but i dont even want it anymore).
like i said in my recent post if i dont lose anything more until January 1st its going to kill me. i cant stand it anymore , looking like this and not changing, i want people to know im sick, i want my friends to care about me .even though 2 of them know abt it they dont ask if im okay, i just want attention but not THAT kind of attention, its the kind where you want someone to know if youre okay or not? to know how youre doing so you dont feel the need to k!ll urself. i just want to be skinny i want to be thin i want people to ask “are you okay?” i want people to be able to wrap their whole hand around my wrist i want people to call me skinny and i want them to tell me “wow youve lost weight” like yes ho i did.
random rant or vent or however u wanna call it
harsh motivation would be so appreciated 🙏🙏
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ariesbloodstone · 11 hours ago
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I know buck was weirded out by the fact that tommy and abby was engaged. I mean who wouldnt? That's a crazy twist. But I got a feeling that buck was bothered by it because tommy had hurt abby. Almost like he still care about her and feel protective over her and angry at tommy for hurting her. I know he loved her and maybe still care about her, but that just seem weird to me. At the restaurant scene when tommy said he was engaged and almost married a women, buck looked surprised seems understanding about it. When tommy said abby took a himbo half her age, buck just responded by saying she maybe did that to get tommy out of her system. He didnt even mad at tommy and seems to be on his side. But when tommy said it was abby clark and buck realised who it was, he got shocked which is understable. And then he told maddie. And said that tommy led abby on and hurt her. And buck thought he knew tommy and never thought tommy would be that cruel. But he only feel that way when he found out the women was abby. So I wonder if he would react the same way if the women wasnt abby? Based on his reaction before tommy mention her name he doesnt seem to care about it. I dont know. To me it looks like he still care about abby which is ok but like he cares more about her than tommy when he is actually dating tommy in the present. I dont know maybe I'm wrong but I just feel weird about it. Actually all the scenes was weird in this episode.
I really dont like buck flirting with that women in the restaurant. I mean tommy was there and watching. Its so rude. And then the convo about women and abby. And then the scene with maddie and josh. Another thing thats weird to me. Why buck was so suprised and hurt on abby's behave for what tommy did? I know what tommy did is not right, but tommy used to be a closeted gay men when he was younger. We all know that and so does buck. He was probably spend most of his life being in the closet than out. Which means he probably had girlfriends in the past and hook up with guys in secret. Like most all closeted gays do at the time?. I mean I know this is 2024 but buck is not a teenager. He's young but not that young. He's what, 30, 33? I'm 30 and even I know how hard it was for the gays in the past. A lot of them hiding in the closet meaning they maybe had girlfriends and even wife. Even I know and understand why they had to do that. And buck doesnt and got angry about it? And what the hell about that speech about post glee stuff. I know a lot of people like it but its not my favourite. It just seems cheezy and frankly unnecesarry because a man at buck's age should've known all that stuff already.
It seems like buck had build up a perfect image of tommy in his mind. His first impression of tommy is that he's so cool and feel threatened by him which turn out to be a crush. And he look up to tommy and admired him which is cute and all. But then he saw this flaw of tommy and he got dissapointed. I think he should know that not everyone is perfect not even tommy. But its not good to have that kind of high expectation to anyone, even your own partner. They gonna have flaws and weakness.
Making buck asking tommy to move in after all that knowledge about abby and gay history is another weird move. How come he got that idea after all that. Another thing to blame the writers about. Not to mention making tommy feels like that is the end of their relationship. He could have just said it was too soon which it is. It is too soon and clearly tommy is not ready for it. A lot of couple survive through that. Its not a marriage proposal. Most doesnt work out after a rejection of proposal but this is not it. They could've work it out. Its like the writers in ep 5 is totally different from ep 6. I have read a lot of fanfiction that are a lot better than this mess of storyline.
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art-the-f-up · 3 months ago
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hear me out... what if...
(I'm tired but I'll provide more context in a reblog later)
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tubbytarchia · 8 months ago
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gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)
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strwbrryfire · 30 days ago
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brand new, full throttle
so high school - taylor swift
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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nyatbinary-81 · 6 months ago
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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every-sanji · 2 months ago
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#summit war saga#ch553#ft. luffy#ft. zoro#ft. nami#ft. usopp#ft. chopper#ft. robin#ft. franky#ft. brook#thinking abt that one blog that is kinda going around rn does it hate/love women or whatever#and even tho as of queueing this i havent seen op on there i dont think you could do a hard and fast yes or no for op#since i think there are a number of women that are loved by the series and oda does actually give women diverse body types#and not all of the good women are stereotypically attractive (lola and charlotte come to mind whenever i think about this)#and a lot of the women do have established goals and wants and needs that are validated through the narrative#even pudding is a well written character tbh <- needs to reread wci dont ask me to go into details quite yet#but then you look at some of the other character designs. and how some characters do just fall flat#or arent well written. given that its such a long series though that is so expected and it holds up a lot better than say...#naruto. or bleach. in this regard but i wish we did get more fights with nami and robin sometimes u know.#i do really enjoy the ones we get and i'm excited to get back to wano for robin's fight with black maria#bc i did see some screencaps from that and ik fights arent the only thing to showcase a character's worth#but this is a shounen series so to some extent fights are a staple of the genre.#idk where im going with this its 10pm for me and i'm very tired t-t#i'm so lighthoused out. and they're redoing the roof on my house this week which is so augh
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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago
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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~
#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be ✨sweet✨ but it’s kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisa’s role in the series as a whole#mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver#place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet#t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew they’d get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day#can’t believe we got arisa’s future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh#but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a ‘the bus came back’ moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that#(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyone’s included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisa’s character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) it’s shiranami’s time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik it’s harder to market him bc he’s a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but that’s part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! he’s devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! he’s a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a whole… esp with heroine ikusei#i think nagisa should’ve been introduced in heroiku or something… since he was planned from the start of hiyori’s development…#maybe they were trying to pull a ‘2nd love wins’ kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huh…#i think it could’ve worked out in the mv-verse. like if they’d placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru#so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika#with hiyo realising that she’d be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight#like a ‘forget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???’ kinda thing#but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? m… maybe…?#but it all still could’ve kinda worked out if they’d shifted the timelines around a little. y’know. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct#idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa would’ve been neater?#like a ‘hey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)’ kinda thing#or maybe chizu and juri could’ve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fight… but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmm… well. this has gone way off topic… anyways nghy canon and cute that’s all byeeee#the dude from gamushara
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
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snixx · 6 months ago
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life went forward and the world moved on but I never got over among us (2018)
#but no one:(( will play it:(( with me:((#i miss amogus with my ex best friend and all her friends#she was just like me fr she loved introducing all her friends to each other its another reason i loved her so much#and why i struggled so much when my high school best friend started making friends outside of me who didnt like me#one of them even gave me this long ass lecture on KAVYA YOU DONT NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS' FRIENDS YOU KNOW#oh and you cAnt jUst Ask pEoPle tO bE yOuR fRiEnd (jokes on her we're friends now. kind of ive been ghosting her for a while but not the po#Int 💀)#and look i learned that. sort of. but i still struggle with it sometimes#like at least with my best friends i always wanted to know about and be involved with everyone in their lives you know#which ive realized now is not practical#but im still this hopeless romantic who wants to be friends with all my friends friends and all my friends to be friends#even if i barely have the energy for it anymore. i guess losing her drilled that in#also another thing i realized is. its good to keep your friends separate sometimes because if the chain breaks you dont lose a whole system#which wasnt even a point of consideration for me back then because like i said. hopeless romantic. why would we ever fall out#but yeah it was hard having to accept that sometimes the whole world doesnt want to be friends. and people are allowed to dislike each othe#shocking i know#anyway what am i even talking about how did i get here#liveblogging.pdf
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jrueships · 1 year ago
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https://twitter.com/danfetes/status/1712166167572361344
josh says people saying stuff about stef ticks him off 😭 that's the meanest he'll ever get off the field 😭
that was kinda... 😏😏😏
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and i definitely know stef feels the same... 😏
" tired of hearing all this nonsense... lot of guys in this league that have that same fire that don't get talked about, but--"
" frankly that kind of ticks me off when people wanna say stuff about him, but... we'll keep that all internal here 🙂🙃🫥."
this is allen at his boiling point omg 😭😭 held back by pr
#reporter: we talked to josh and we asked him a question about y-#stef smirks in Yeah. I Bet You Did. Bitch.😎 we're a two packaged deal. inseparable 😎 (insufferable) im his right hand man. his silly rab-#the sassy pose and the fond smile. theyre so untouchable dramatic ass top of the foodchain powercouple it's Unreal.#WHERE IS THE RPF!?!??!?!????#josh and allen sooooo fucked after this#fucked HARRRRD bro fucked HARD#and they were both soo ready for it like you cant tell me they didnt fuck nasty after this HELLO#we cant always bet on them winning but the fuck nasty is surely guranteed#diggs had the bed all set up with romantic candlelight and roses and josh hurdled over all that shit just to hold him in his arms#josh caught on fire a little bit but diggs patted the flames down before he could notice#all the snow piled up around their home in buffalo could not muffle the 'youre my qb.. ure my qb' pants& moans which shake those very walls#josh '🙃🙃' the hell outta this interview#he said YOU may not understand diggs horrors but **I** DO!!@@! **I** UNDERSTAND. I GET THEM.#the frustration of seeing everyone hate on his husband when he knows all of that pales in how much stef hates himself#AND THAT MAKES JOSHS LITTLE STUNNED FACE ALL THE MORE SAD LIKE. HES SO HURT FOR STEF.#AND HE JUST KNOWS. he KNOWS the public is gonna spin this horribly. make stef the diva they always degrade him as#josh has CONSTANTLY with like a bear pacing around the cracked glass enclosure barely disguised rage#defended stef from misinterpretation and disdained the diva drama so vehemently#so everytime josh messes up or stef messes up or they lose all josh is thinking and feeling is 'im fucking this up for him even more#i dont care if theyre gonna be mad at me. diggs is hurting. somehow some way. diggs is gonna get Hurt.#and i cant do anything but talk. and i cant even do that well.#it's all my fault i cant do anything im so stupid im so stupid'#saint bernard song 1 hour#that single wide eyed stare he gives his wr bcs all he can do is stare as stef's pain surges#it's not fear of stef as the media tries to portray for qbwr tension. it's fear For stef.#he knows theres hurt. and he knows theres gonna be even more hurting. and. the nail. he knows he cant do anything to help it from stopping#'why couldnt i throw better. i need to just run it to lessen the chances. i need to do something. i need to be better. i have to be better'#meanwhile diggs could care less abt what everyone else thinks about him. he just cares abt how josh thinks. about josh#stef wants to perform well so josh can actually feel well. be able to express anything he wants without worry or treading#diggs/allen
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