#now i cant focus on my finals

[clergynonman]

Babes never kill yourselves can't believe I ever was suicidal. I got the peak femme experience this weekend. 🥺🌸🌸

Had a date with a hot butch i had been texting on saturday night it went so fkn well can't get them out of my head. They lent me their sweater when I got cold and held my thigh the whole time I feel naked without their hand there. Walked me home and we made out on my doorstep. They told me to keep the sweater it smells so fucking good omfgggg.

THENN sunday I wake up from the best sleep of my life to a good morning beautiful xx and spring sunny weather. Went to the theater to watch the Pride and Prejudice (2005, the crowd cheered during the hand scene) rerelease and it finally was warm enough to wear my pretty summer skirts. I wore the sweater and hugged myself with it the whole time wishing they were sitting next to me.

I am one happy femme. Never die if you can help it life can get pretty good 💕

[temeyes]

gonna meet tsukki tomorrow!! (his life-size standee that is... LOL)

[consultingfujoshi]

ok yknow what else. I am so glad they're acknowledging the 180. I haven't really voiced this cuz I was otherwise so excited for this season but I really was on the verge of indignation about them just deciding to make gabriel a goofy sidekick after he was literally the biggest villain of season 1. it really felt like they weren't willing to acknowledge just how much pain he's actually caused aziraphale and crowley and, to be honest, it seemed a little out of the blue that aziraphale would try to help him. but no. they're actually talking about it. it's a central point of conflict for them that crowley rightfully wants nothing to do with this because it's GABRIEL, he tried to kill aziraphale, he's still understandably terrified that heaven will try to hurt him again, and now he wants this guy nowhere near either of them, and cannot understand why aziraphale would have him in his bookship after what he's done. and as for why aziraphale wants to help him, that seems like it's actually going to be explored rather than just accepted for the sake of the plot moving forward. not only have they not forgotten just what gabriel did or tried to do last season, they're placing that lasting fear and apprehension towards him front and centre and are going to have aziraphale and crowley conflict over whether or not he deserves their help. I'm honestly so relieved because I had always been staunchly anti-gabriel and never really enjoyed the fandom's overly jovial attitude towards him, and was genuinely really skeptical when it seemed they were going to make him a sympathetic character in the new season, especially since the trailer played the comedic angle for all it was worth. but it's not just absurdity for absurdity's sake. it's actually something for our main couple to work through. the writing knows this is a difficult shift in dynamic to contend with. and they're directly employing it as an obstacle for aziraphale and crowley. it's really good and it's put a lot of my worries about the overall tone and messaging of this season to rest

[electoons]

god please let me sleep a full uninterrupted night tonight or I will do something about it. amen

[passerinesoncaffeine]

I neeeeeeeeeeeeed to get more familiar with digital art interfaces but then you're just

but what if. we fucking inked it instead 👀👀👀 don't you want 👀👀👀 to do extremely intricate crunchy lineart 👀👀👀👀 dont you just want to fucking ink it 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

and like yeah. yeah I do want to fucking ink it.

[rigelmejo]

audio study methods

Still working on that 'lazy' study plan post, since I am just not satisfied with any chinese grammar guide summaries online enough to recommend them as a small grammar intro. If anyone knows of any good 'grammar overview summary' articles or sites for chinese grammar, please let me know. (I like AllSetLearning's Chinese Grammar Wiki but it is huge and in depth and not something I'd recommend a learner 'just read through' on month 4 of learning, and the grammar guide summary site I used as a beginner that was very easy to read through in a few hours... no longer exists)

So in the meantime. Not a grammar study tip, but a general 'lazy' option for language learners who (like me) can't focus on stuff like anki, or just don't want to. I go more in depth about using audio lessons and audio flashcards on other posts, and on the lazy study plan post i'm drafting, but the short of it is: you can listen and learn while doing your normal daily activities. That's what makes the study method so convenient. You don't have to squeeze in any extra time, or change your daily life schedule to make time for chinese, to use audio lessons and audio flashcards.

You simply find some times during the day when you'd either normally listen to audio in the background (like if you listen to music when commuting or shopping, or if you listen to podcasts when working, or if you listen to youtube while exercising or browsing social media). As usual, the more time the better as you'll make faster progress if you study 1-2 hours a day or more. But anything is better than nothing. So lets say you commute to work 30 minutes in morning and evening, there's your hour of studying audio. Or you go for a walk at lunch for 15 minutes, and browse tumblr for an hour scrolling (that's 1 hour and 15 minutes of study). It's very easy to fit 30 minutes of audio study into a day, and it's fairly easy to fit even 2-4 hours of audio study if you're so inclined. I usually do 30 minutes - 2 hours of audio study some days, since when I walk I decide if I feel like listening to a youtube essay or chinese or japanese stuff, when driving I decide which I feel like listening to, and I want to listen to something in english 2/3 of the time.

How do you use audio study material? Well, the easy way is you just press play on it, let it play in the background while you do other stuff, and that's it. If you tend to avoid studying new stuff (like me), then I recommend PRIORITIZING listening to NEW AUDIO every time, until you get into the habit of listening to NEW stuff to learn. Then you can re-listen to stuff sometimes, as review, especially when you're doing activities you have less attention on audio during. So for example: you'd listen to new audio on the commute or when walking (when you can mostly focus on what you're hearing), and then re-listen to audio as review while working or scrolling tumblr and reading english (activities where you pay more attention to other things besides audio).

What can you listen to?

There's audio lessons - which would be something like ChinesePod101 (Immersive Language Chinese in the Hoopla library app), Coffee Break Chinese, youtube videos where teachers talk in english and explain chinese as they teach it. These are good for study material, because you comprehend what you're learning due to the english explanations of every word and grammar point you hear. These are good for beginners, because you will understand everything you're listening to, and learn new words and grammar, thanks to the explanations. The drawback with audio lessons is they require the most focus.

There's learner podcasts like TeaTime Chinese and Slow Chinese, these are more often ENTIRELY in chinese. So these are better for practicing comprehension of stuff you've studied elsewhere, rather than for learning new things. You can learn new words and grammar from these, but if that is your goal then re-listen to learner podcasts a decent amount (5-20 times or more until you can't guess/figure out any more word meanings).

There's audio flashcards (which I love). These are sentence audio in english, then repeated in chinese. The order may vary, the chinese may be repeated more than once. These are good for beginners and upward, because you get a translation of every single thing you hear in chinese. You can pick up new words and grammar from audio flashcards. Audio flashcards require less focus than audio lessons, because you can learn from sentences while you pay attention and then if your attention drifts you can just focus again to the next sentence you hear and continue learning. The drawback is there are no explanations for which word specifically translates to what, some translations are not literal, and there's no explanation of why the grammar is the way it is. Audio flashcards require the listener to try and guess what means what by exposure to chinese sentences and their translations. So it's harder than audio lessons in terms of explanations, but easier than learner podcasts. Audio flashcards are the best substitute for traditional flashcards or SRS apps like anki, if you're trying to improve your vocabulary by hundreds of words ASAP. Audio flashcards are dense with new vocabulary (usually 1 new word or grammar point per sentence you can learn), so you'll learn more words than you would with an audio lesson that is paced slower with more english explanations or a learner podcast which would ideally be mostly words you know and only 20% or less new words.

There's Spoonfed Chinese Anki audio files (which I recommend since these start out very basic and increase in difficulty while also repeating words a lot so you can review, they're shared on reddit if you search, or ask me), if you search 'chinese english sentences' on youtube or bilibili (i've done this with chinese japanese sentences on bilibili) you'll find videos like this where you hear audio english then audio chinese. Old glossika cd files are basically this structure as well, which you can find the audio files of for free online or free in libraries (I'm using the new glossika app for japanese but I'm hesitant to recommend the modern app courses as there's significant errors in japanese so I'm not sure how good/bad the chinese one is). If you're a beginner, then the audio flashcard material you pick won't matter much as you need to learn a few thousand common words first which will be in most materials you find. But if you're an upper beginner, you may wish to prioritize finding audio flashcards with MORE unique words, more sentences, or may want to transition to using learner podcasts more for new vocabulary. If you aren't running into at least one new word for every 5 sentences you hear in audio flashcards (and ideally one new word for Every sentence), then that audio flashcard is way too easy for you and you know enough words to move onto new study material.

Audiobooks and audio dramas - use these like learner podcasts, listen to ones you can comprehend the main idea of, and then re-listen until you can't guess/figure out any more new words. If you're not very good at listening comprehension (like me lol), then you may want to listen to a given audiobook/audio drama file 3-5 times before deciding if you can comprehend the main idea (and use the material). When my listening skills are rusty, or just in general since my listening skills are bad, it can take me a few times of listening to recognize words I 'already know' and then a few more times of listening for my brain to put the words i recognize together into 'comprehending' what was communicated. So if you can read better than you can listen, you may want to listen 3-5+ times to a new audio file before deciding if you can follow the main idea or if it's too hard. And if you can READ the audio drama transcript, chapter text, but cannot understand the audio file? Then it probably IS at a good level for you to listen to, you just need a lot more practice hearing and recognizing the words you can read. So re-listen.

All of these listening study methods are good for:

Adding more study time into your day, since you can do them while doing other things.

Learning new words and grammar, when you don't have the time (or don't want) to spend time dedicated mainly to focusing on your study material.

Learning new words and grammar, if you don't use flashcards or SRS like anki but want the benefit of learning lots 'faster' than you would if you only picked up words during active study time (active study time being when you ONLY are focusing on study activities: like reading chinese, watching cdramas, chatting/texting people, and looking up words)

[the-deadlock-south]

love that you dont have to essentially buy heroes now but 1.) that shouldve been the case in the first place 2.) i feel bad for everyone i play against as i now realize i can play ramattra as much as i want and i will proceed with my rampages

[coridallasmultipass]

It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.

I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).

[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]

My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.

The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)

Anyway, shrimp tax:

I lov thees widdle oange bebies.

Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[bangcakes]

.

[mango-fizz]

How have you been feeling lately?

[bare1ythere]

finished assignments for today. welp off to the incinerator

[gifti3]

the urge to replay a date with death is finally setting in

[watery-melon-baller]

waow. i am definetly not getting anything done now 👍

[deanwinchesterluvr69]

finals week is my worst enemy

[quickestgold]

1) Love your writing and cant wait to see more!! 2) For the prompt inspiration, what about something along the lines of Jack's girlfriend, that Dana and Robby don't particularly like, shows up seriously injured at the Pitt?

Someone New: Dr. Jack Abbot x Reader

Synopsis: After witnessing the fallout from Jack's failed marriage, Dana and Robby have been skeptical of his new relationship. But when a freak accident forces them to see the depth of Jack’s feelings, their perspectives shift.

Warnings: Canon-typical depictions of trauma; traffic accident, death, injuries, mentions of a failed marriage, divorce

Word count: 1.9k

A/n: LMFAO guys, most of my requests rn are for injured readers are we okay? Anyway... enjoy xoxo (also, thanks so much for the compliment!! messages/comments like these are super motivating <3)

Mistress. Homewrecker. The Other Woman.

You’ve called yourself worse a thousand times. The guilt over how things started with Jack weighs on you. And though his love feels sweet and pure, it offers little comfort in the face of their judgment.

You wish you’d met under different circumstances. Started things the right way.

But in your heart you know it’s real. Even if they don’t.

The truth is, Jack’s marriage was over long before you came into the picture. They were separated when you met, though the divorce wasn’t final.

So you let others believe that it was your fault. Made little effort to dispel the rumors. To introduce yourself properly.

Maybe you were embarrassed.

Definitely ashamed.

Perhaps they had a point and you destroyed a perfectly good relationship. Or at least got in the way of Jack and his ex trying to salvage what was left.

But it doesn’t matter now. Not anymore. Nothing does.

“Female. 30s. Car vs. pedestrian. In and out of consciousness. Possible head injury. Probable femoral fracture”, the EMT presents.

The cold metal of the gurney beneath you makes you shiver, harsh sterile lights flickering overhead.

“Woah. What happened?” Dana’s voice is laced with concern.

“I’m fine", you murmur, but your voice betrays you, weak and unconvincing. “Just a bit sleepy.”

Why is everything spinning?

“You hit your head?” Robby's voice is sharp and suddenly close, the light of his pen so bright it feels like it’s burning through your skull. He instructs you to follow his finger. You try, but your vision is distorted, like shattered glass. You can barely manage to focus.

“I- I’m not sure”, you confess, struggling to catch your breath, your lungs burning.

“Someone pushed her into oncoming traffic", the EMT continues, calm and clinical, part of his routine. "A bicycle hit her head-on and a car slammed into her hip."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut and your stomach twists with horror.

You can't remember any of it.

You try to move, to sit up, but your body refuses.

Why is your face wet? You beg, pray, it’s just tears. It has to be.

But it’s thick and warm. And the familiar, metallic smell makes your head swim.

“J-Jack… I-“, you plead.

Robby’s movements are faster now. His commands sharp and alert. He gestures to Whittaker, who immediately reacts, moving swiftly, as he rushes out of the room, a quiet urgency in his steps.

Everyone knows about you and Jack. Though it feels like no one approves. Almost no one.

“Y/N, it’s okay. Just keep your eyes open for me, alright?” Collins’ voice is warm, grounding. She takes your hand and squeezes it tightly. You’re thankful. Thankful for her presence. To see a friendly face amidst the chaos.

But you can't shake the quiet fear that maybe... it’s the last one you’ll ever see.

Heather is one of the few who welcomed you, made an effort to get to know you.

You’ve become friends.

You meet up for coffee, chat for hours about the boys. And though her and Robby’s relationship ended, you can tell there is unresolved sadness between them. You wonder if either of them will ever admit it.

“Heather… I-I’m…” Your voice is barely audible now. You're slipping. Slipping fast.

You fight to stay awake. To hold on. Just a little longer. At least until you see Jack.

Until you get to say goodbye.

But your eyes grow heavier by the second, something pulling at you, each blink slower than the last.

You can hear yourself saying something. But it’s far away.

You’re shaking. Why is this hospital so goddamn cold?

Before you can say another word, everything fades to black.

“Male. 20s. Cyclist vs. pedestrian. Unconscious. Blunt force trauma to the head. Multiple fractures", another EMT announces, as they rush the gurney into Trauma Two, the team prepared and ready to work in perfect sync.

Jack's moves are quick, methodical. Driven by one clear, urgent goal: to stabilize the patient first, then assess for further injuries.

“Dr. Abbot?” Whittaker’s voice is tentative, his gaze flicking nervously between Jack and the patient on the table. He hovers just inside the doorframe, not quite sure whether to disturb Jack or not.

Jack glances up briefly, his hands moving over the patient's chest, steady and determined.

Whittaker hesitates, his voice shaky. “We need you in Trauma One.”

“I’m a little busy.” Jack mutters. “Get Robby!” His voice laced with authority. An order, not a suggestion.

He isn’t finished with this patient yet, not ready to be pulled away.

Whittaker hesitates, before he nods and steps back. Jack watches him go, but there's no time to think about what might be waiting in Trauma One.

His focus is here, the young patient's life literally in his hands.

“Abbot?” Robby growls, frustrated at Whittaker’s failed attempt.

Whittaker shakes his head, his expression tense. “He’s treating the cyclist in Trauma Two”, Whittaker answers, almost apologetic.

Robby curses under his breath, his eyes flashing to Dana.

He knows Jack will never forgive them if something happens to you and they didn’t tell him. If Jack doesn't get to you in time.

Dana knows, too. She knows that this isn’t just about the accident. It’s about what they owe Jack and what they owe you.

“Hold compressions.” Jack orders.

Everyone’s eyes are fixated on the monitor, but the flatline continues.

“Okay." Jack’s voice drops. "That’s it.”

“Time of death: 10:35”

Jack takes a minute of silent reflection. He’s been here before. Too many times. But it never gets any easier.

He steps out into the bay, taking a breath. His eyes search the nurse’s station, which is unusually empty.

Javadi almost crashes into him, gripping a blood bag tight to her chest. Jack steps back, putting distance between them.

“Slow down. If you trip and fall you’re no good to anybody.” Always the teacher, calm and collected. “Where’s Robby?”

Javadi stumbles over her words, struggling to catch her breath. “Trauma One, a- a pedestrian got hit.”

“Shit." Jack mutters. "I just called it on the cyclist.” His brows furrow. “Need any help?”

“Not sure… it’s not looking good.” And with that, she rushes back in.

Jack watches her go, making sure she doesn’t run into anyone else. His gaze flicks to the glass doors of Trauma One, catching Robby’s eyes. He's pressing into someone’s chest with practiced ease.

But there’s something else. Panic.

Jack’s alarm bells go off. He moves, quickly.

But before Jack reaches the door, Dana steps into his path. She places her palm against his chest, gently pushing him back.

“Jack”, her voice calm but firm. “You can come in, but we need to do this the right way, honey.” Her eyes soften, full of compassion. “Robby’s doing everything he can.”

In that moment, Jack catches a glimpse of the patient’s face. Your bloodied, gorgeous, beautiful face. The woman he loves.

Multiple hands are on you, your own dangling off the side of the gurney.

His eyes lock on the delicate ring he gave you only a few days ago.

The one that was supposed to be forever.

“What the fuck”, Jack tries to push past Dana, but Langdon and Matteo are already there, hands on his arms, holding him back.

“Dana”, Jack’s voice cracks.

“I know, hon. Take a breath”, she rubs soothing circles on his chest, then steps back. “We’ve got her!”

The sincerity in her voice, comforts him, if only slightly.

The fact that he just called his patient’s death a few minutes ago, tells him everything about the severity of your injuries.

There's a deep ache in Jack’s chest as he follows Dana into the room. He steps to your side, his hand brushing gently over your forehead, the way you like it. The way he’s always calmed you.

“I’m here, baby”, he whispers, his voice raw. “I’m here.”

He watches Robby and the team work, each movement calculated, each second agonizing.

He knows his place. He won’t overstep. His only focus is you.

Like many times before, Jack finds himself on the rooftop. Each inhale of the harsh midnight air a painful reminder of you in that hospital bed, fighting for every breath.

Jack feels someone approaching, doesn’t have to turn around to know who. “Who pushed her?” Jack's voice is low and raw with pain.

“They’re…-" Robby pauses, scratching his neck nervously. "They're still looking.” His tone is soft.

Jack nods, but the corners of his mouth turn downward. “You’ve been too hard on her, man.” He exhales sharply.

“I know, brother.” Robby's words are filled with guilt and regret. He wants to make this right. Needs to.

Jack's gaze hardens. “She was afraid, you know. Felt like you were judging her… more than me.” He huffs out a humorless laugh.

Robby’s remorse is palpable. “We were worried about you. Didn’t want to see you get hurt. We had no idea it was serious between you.”

“Does it matter?” Jack’s voice cracks on the last word.

“I- I suppose not.” Robby shakes his head. “I’m so sorry.”

Jack nods. He doesn’t need Robby’s apology. You do.

“She gets it. She gets me.” Jack's looking straight at Robby now, barely bringing himself to say the words. “I wish you’d had the chance to get to know her. You would've loved her…” He tries to hold in a strangled sob, but it escapes anyway.

Robby steps closer, placing a hand on Jack's back, voice gentle and reassuring. “I still can… If she’ll let me.” He realizes he needs to carry that hope for both of them right now.

Jack isn’t convinced, but Robby’s belief gives him a moment’s peace.

The door to the rooftop suddenly slams open. Jack and Robby both turn instinctively.

Dana stands in the doorway, her pulse racing. “Jack.”

Jack is terrified to hear what she has to say, assuming the worst.

The midnight air suddenly feels suffocating.

“Jack?” Your voice is barely a whisper, fragile and tired, the effort of speaking taking all of your energy.

“Hi, gorgeous.” He moves closer to your bed. “Are you in pain?” The concern in his eyes certainly isn't helping, it hurts to see him like this.

You shake your head, but it’s a lie. You know it and Jack knows it too. He doesn’t hesitate, moving swiftly to the IV to adjust the meds with practiced hands.

Warmth floods you and you exhale slowly. The deep physical ache subsides and your thoughts clear. Only now, you can fully appreciate that you’re alive. That Jack’s here.

“I’m here," he repeats, more to himself than to you and for a second you wonder if you said the words out loud.

Jack's hand is gentle against your skin, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. “Robby and Dana feel badly about how they’ve treated you.” The words heavy with sorrow.

“They shouldn’t.” You're exhausted, but you mean it. “They don’t even know me.” You give him a smile, weak but genuine.

“Maybe it’s time we change that?” Jack leans in gently stroking your forehead, like he always does. Like he always will.

His other hand traces the space where your ring used to rest. You realize it’s no longer there. It was taken off during the chaos of saving you. But Jack knows where it belongs.

With a tender, deliberate touch, he slides the ring back onto your finger, a symbol of the forever he’s promised.

Hahahah aaall the fluff!! It was needed after so many angsty requests lol Pls comment/share your thoughts below. ♡