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#DO NOT ASK ME WHERE TO FIND IT PLEASE
the-poke-nebula · 5 months
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...nothing like seeing a horrific video on youtube that's literal v.ore featuring a Pokemon that is the ace of one of your muses.
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inkskinned · 8 months
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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cozylittleartblog · 6 months
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here comes the boy ~ hello boy ✨
cleaned up a couple of the vash doodles i did while learning to draw him :)
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maybe-a-dinosaur · 6 months
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seijoh 4 as summer camp employees
hanamaki takahiro is BUILT for this he has fun hair he’s weird he’s engaging his he’s colorful his water bottle is covered in stickers he has sandals on toes Out he is shameless he’s kinda unhinged it so works. he’s a counselor but almost never has a cabin to himself he’s more like a sub if someone else has gets sick or whatever but when he shows up it’s like a celebrity sighting a monumentous occasion. if he’s not needed anywhere else he’s helping out with arts and crafts his favorite artworks are the ones where you can’t tell what the fuck it’s supposed to be. he has lots of string friendship bracelets he knows how to make them but lies whenever someone asks he just gives them one he gatekeeps cuz he thinks it’s funny and teaching is too much work. he tells the most Outrageous ghost stories and is the reason only half of the kids will go in the lake he talks about bigfoot and campers who went missing and the town’s curse he is carrying on legacies he is SO fun.
iwaizumi hajime is the Coolest fucking counselor ever. bandana around his head sleeves cut off of the uniform tshirt (muscle tee now) he has friendship bracelets a beat up watch one anklet his water bottle is on its last leg he has a dinosaur keychain on his backpack he like epitomizes cool guy the kids idolize him. his cabin wins every single camp-wide competition every time like he’s peak athleticism and he’s just like so awesome or whatever it’s contagious. he picks kids up and throws them in the lake and pool if a frisbee gets stuck in a tree he gets it every time he caught a snake once and took it back to the woods everyone wants to sit next to him in the mess hall he can’t build a fire and is mad about it he sleeps like a fucking Rock and snores like a lawnmower and eats enough for 3 people at every meal.
oikawa tooru is a lifeguard. at the pool at the lake he’s always around the water somehow and Everyone has a crush on him. up on his lifeguard chair sunglasses on his skin is all golden whistle around his neck or spinning on his finger his hair somehow always looks good he wears a headband one day and someone literally faints. he teaches swimming and canoeing lessons and is really good at it he almost Never has to save anyone for someone who works by the water you’d think they’d swim a little more. he’s pretty quiet when he’s on duty he takes the job seriously but he’s a fucking motormouth when he’s off that chair he will Not shut up. he sits w the boys at meals running that fucking mouth pisses them off So Bad he blatantly flirts/fights with iwaizumi when the kids aren’t around and Refuses to get into a canoe with him bc it always ends up getting flipped. he’s really good with the younger kids they’re his favorite to work with but he is generally well liked throughout the camp he’s like everyone’s counselor crush and he always eats raisin bran for breakfast.
matsukawa issei is the camp cryptid he works with the older kids who like go backpacking and spend all their time in the woods he emerges looking like he’s been there all his life. he kinda just appears sometimes doing odd jobs taking things to the lost and found feeding the chickens fishing things out of the lake general camp maintenance he materializes out of the trees with a fire extinguisher a neon yellow backpack and a missing camper. he’s often accompanied by the camp dog so there are theories (encouraged by takahiro) that he’s actually a werewolf and that’s why he’s everywhere some people think he is the camp dog issei thinks this is very funny. the only place he’s consistently found is the mess hall at meals otherwise when not wandering or in the forest he can be found hanging out with hiro coming up with new ghost stories playing some sort of sport with hajime or pouring water on tooru’s head wherever he happens to be. issei is the best campfire builder on the property and some of the kids are scared of him he never has his phone can only be contacted by walkie-talkie he is the jack of all trades.
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butchdykekondraki · 7 months
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its time for scp required reading... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please for the love of god heed the fucking warnings im so serious . like as much as i want to keep the tone of this post jokey and funny you NEED to heed the warnings on these
ok with that out of the way. read about my blorbos boy
''incident 239-b clef-kondraki'' (general warning for violence and blood/gore) - this one fucks. thats all i have to say about it
''technical issues'' - this one's funny + im biased because i fucking love pat the tech guy
''routine psychological evaluations by doctor glass'' - again i have personal bias about this (<- simon glass enjoyer + host is a glass introj) + this ones funny + if you're more into the fanon versions of the foundation staff this is right up your alley
''tradition'' - halloween party fun :-)
''dr cimmerian hits reply all'' - this is exactly what it sounds like i don't now what to tell you
''stupid cupid / stupid cupid: stop picking on me!'' - my house my rules read about cimmerian and his boytoy
''hawaiian shirts'' - clef fucking Breaks. thats all i can say about this without exploding into viscera
''help me my (love for) my daughter was born too still'' (general warning for mentions of child death) - i have personal bias about this (<- #1 agatha rights enjoyer) but this tale is So Good in general and a super interesting look at how agatha perceives herself and her work/life balance
''so leave yourself alone.'' (warning for graphic depictions of vomit and attempted suicide) - REALLY really really good look at clef kind of dropping his cruel persona and iris' mental health struggles regarding the foundation
''yesterday'' (warning for violence and implied/reference suicide. kind of.) - :-( <- this is the only way i can express my emotions about this tale. anyway it's really good and an interesting way of showing clefs relationships with people
''an apple a day...'' - REALLY good look at how dr glass is as a person and how he acts with people + this entire tale fucks SEVERELY
''personal log of dr gears / personal log of █████ 'iceberg' ████'' - good example of how gears and iceberg both format their documents / how they speak + its vaguely gearsberg + this gives a look at how gears and iceberg met. read the gearsberg tale boy
''portraits of your father'' (warning for graphic alcoholism, suicide, survivors guilt, and blood/gore) - super good look at draven and his relationship with his father, and kondraki's alcoholism, and also talloran is there. also three cheers for dravoran
''life's cold'' - most normal day iceberg has at this fuckass foundation + this is a good look at how iceberg acts and thinks
''fond memories'' (warning for death and body horror) - draven proposes! Draven proposes.
''scp-3999'' (warning for bugs, paranoia, death, body horror, sexual assault/rape, unreality, self harm, and depictions of bodily mutilation) - unironically this one fucks me up so bad its so fucking good dude. go read about james talloran RIGHT NOW
''i stared into the face of everything and nothing and made it back alive'' - this one also fucks me up so bad like i dont even have anything to say. read about talloran and draven RIGHT NOW
''you are at the center of everything that happens to you'' - james talloran talks to himself. kind of.
''a suicide note'' (warning for mentions of rape, child murder, survivors guilt, and suicide) - interesting look at clefs thoughts on him and his work
''date night'' - objectum win! dr alto clef is objectoromantic AND objectosexual! <- that should tell you all you need to know about this one
''scp-4231 / montauk house'' (warnings for graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, child abuse/neglect, murder, domestic violence, verbal/physical abuse and survivor's guilt) - absolutely gut-wrenching look at alto clef/francis wojciechoski and why he's so fucked up. uh genuinely do read the warnings on this one because when i say graphic i am not exaggerating. all of these things are explored in detail and are genuinely triggering so.
''okay, that's enough, let's get you home'' (warnings for some dubious make-out sessions, (mentioned) suicide, implications of rape/sexual assault, and vomit) - shameless moldhouse plug sorry not sorry. HIGHLY recommend reading this and it's other parts in their entirety because it genuinely drives me up the fucking wall it is So good. i will sing moldhouses praises until my throat goes out. read moldhouse Now
''duke 'till dawn'' - bpd king!!!!! anyway i dont have a lot of thoughts on this its just really good. also i didnt know dracula was an actual scp until i read this which is kind of funny to me
''rights' birthday party'' - my house my rules you're going to read about agatha rights whether you like it or not
''sex at a frigid temperature'' - again, my house my rules. read the depressing gearsberg tale, boy.
''7 things that new level 3 researchers should know'' - i dont have any thoughts on this i just think this one has really cool formatting
''home is where i want to be'' - no greater thoughts this is just really neat i think. also kiryu labs is in it and im biased as fuck
''gentle wings flutter quietly in the dark'' - read about zyn kiryu NOW
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autisticlancemcclain · 8 months
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Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me
i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.
#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it#but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. “the shallura thing worries me” as if i am your little project and things arent going#to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd#and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like#we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need#to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel#like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be#harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines#at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine#through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to#work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the#younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves?#i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there#is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism#anyways#rant#ask
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hajihiko · 1 year
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i love the thought of fuyuhiko being multilingual, what other languages do you think he'd speak?
Italian, French, Thai, Mandarin, Russian and Spanish is what I thought of. And ofc Japanese and English.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 5 months
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THE ORDER OF PALMS An order of holy folk that serve The Helm, working to create powerful Aasimar Paladins for the purpose of protecting any who hire their help. [BACKSTORY UNDER CUT]
One day, Gjör and her peers were lead by their mentor Opheria, to a mission far from their home. On the peak of that mountain village, they saw upon the horizon, the castle of their home go up in flames. Horrified and scared, the apprentices sought to follow their mentors guidance, and followed her lead into a small barn. It was there, that Opheria proceeded to slaughter each and everyone of the apprentices. It seemed she somehow had a hand in this sudden attack on the Order of Palms. Gjör D'annevual survived a sword through the 'heart', on account of a rare condition, that places her heart on the other side of her chest. When she finally managed to bring herself back home, the Order was insulted by her survival. She had so many better peers, why couldn't any of them have survived? This runt was seriously the only thing that survived Opherias wrath? It was better to just wash their hands clean of this. Thus the Order decided to banish Gjör from their ranks. She now travels the land in search of a purpose.
#luckys original content#dungeons and dragons#MY OCSSSS MY WONDERFUL OCSSS ITS BEEN SO LONGGGG!!this is a fairly old character that i made foreeeever ago#i was trying to go full on into DND LORE ONLY instead of makin up my own stuff. so when i was lookin around i learned abt THE HELM#the god of protection or watever it was. i also like playing paladin bc i love to hit things w my sword. i also like aasimars bc theyrprett#im sure i ahd other Min Maxy reasons for her but i dont have her sheet n ive forgotten everything. never got a chance to play her but yknow#maybe someday. I LIKE HER ALOT TOO. big and strong and well meaning but a lil dumb. justa lil dense n stupid. but she tries!!#I LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE JUST SMALL THINGS DIFERENT ABT THEM. i knew some1 who had that condition. where everythings just flipped#aint that fucked up? that ur organs can just be flipped? and inever see it in fiction. its so neat. imagine finding out like THIS too#she had blacked out from the sword through the heart. the last thing she heard from her mentor was;#'you were a great student. that is why you above all else must die. i hope you understand' spoken through a gentle voice and a gentle smile#the very same that had guided Gjör so far through her journey.A BETRAYAL LIKE NO OTHER! she awoke utop a pile of comrades#each bloodied and dead and cold. she used her own magic to heal herself. to catch herself from the precipice of bleeding out#when she stepped out of the barn she had found that the village was burned to the ground#she was shellshocked!! it took her weeks to limp all the way back down that mountain. all the way back to the place she called home#only to be spit on and kicked back out. being a Paladin of the Palms was her entire life. what was she to do now?#OH SO THE ART. I RLY LIKE HER DESIGN.heavily based off of THE BABY SITTER from HALO LEGENDS. i fuckin love halo so much guys.....#i just love that trope of Big Strong Person in Armor that we all thought wasa fullgrown MAN takes off the helmet to revel shesa PRETTY GIRL#my favorite in the WORLD!! i also like the silly frilly pretty dress sorta motif in gjors armor. it hides all the stuff i dont wanna draw#thats all the ramble i got in me for now. PLEASE ENJOY. and ask me abt my ocs
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crossbackpoke-check · 7 months
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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a-killer-obsession · 5 months
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Just a couple of Yin sketches :3
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thedrotter · 3 months
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
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i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
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the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
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Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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purpurussy · 2 months
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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deathsmallcaps · 2 months
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I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.
1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.
Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.
2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.
3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.
4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.
5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.
6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.
7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.
8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.
9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.
A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.
B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.
C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.
10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.
Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.
Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.
Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.
#I am not exaggerating when I say howling#not in a wolf way more like a howler monkey if you have no idea what human toddler cries sound like#I like kids of all ages but there’s a reason why#I’m not going to teach elementary school#I am the person in the *place I work* where if a kid is lost#the staff brings the kid to me until the parents are found#so like. I’m never going to see these kids at their best#I wish I could just hug them but I’m barely allowed to hold their hand if I’m escorting them to get water#this time of year their emotions are heightened by the fact that they’re almost certainly dehydrated#but if they’re a flight risk I do NOT want to risk losing the kid#so I have to wait until#a coworker comes by to get them some water sometimes#the howler girl = this kid#this kid was reunited with her mom without too much time going by thank god#she was a huge fucking flight risk omg#she desperately wanted to go find her mom and I’m like#GIRL you are the lost six year old ITS YOUR MOM’S JOB TO FIND YOU!!! Your job is to stay safe!!!#and color this pretty picture oh god please look back at the coloring page instead of calling upon the hounds of hell#I like to assure every kid that is brought to me that#1. mom’s (or whoever) not going to leave without you (sometimes this is a lie judging from the parents.still very important to tell kids thi#2. they did the right thing asking for an adult’s help#3. as they are literally a kid it’s not their fault they’re lost (again a little debatable with the older kids but still they’re minors)(so#I tell them all this)#4. it’s their job to stay safe while we find your mom#5. now do you want some water?#it’s more obvious in the pale kids but I’ve had so many Black and Brown kids come up to me the last couple days looking positively pink#those kids needed water. so I try to get everyone water#it pisses off my coworkers but idgaf. everyone has a legal right to water in this state esp in the summer#and even if they didn’t#fuck you I’m stealing it. these kids need water
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wexhappyxfew · 3 months
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me, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat - if judy becomes the turret ball gunner for rosie’s riveters does that mean she goes down with him???!!!???!!!??
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
UM SO THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE UMMMMMMM?!???!?
how did it not enter my brain that this was even a POSSIBILITY of what was to come i-
KATE, FRIEND, I’M-
i’m fine. i am. im fine (i just died on the inside reading this but something awakened in my brain at ALL the potential angst because HOLY SHIT I GOTTA START WORKING WITH THIS HEHEHEEEE) um so i’m totally fine about this (dying). totally valid reason to be up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat over because haha SAME.
THE POSSIBILITIES. what if i said seeing this in the morning gave me the ANGSTIEST IDEA HEHE 😭😭😭😭 though the thought HURTS and PAINS me, i am absolutely bowing down and thanking u for this SWEET TREAT. because. ahem. yes. yes yes yes. THIS IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!
(and you are absolutely correct. she does go down with him too)
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starswallowingsea · 4 months
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Making trump into the ultimate boogey man was intentional so that the democrats dont have to do any work to actually listen to constituents and feel like they have free reign to do whatever they want because the alternative is the big evil fascist even though we're seeing a lot of fascist tendencies under Biden and going back to 2008-2016, Obama. We, as a country, should not have this much political sway in the world.
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rebornofstars · 2 months
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* I know I’m technically a focus on art but I also want to chat as writer—what’s one of your favorite troupes that you rarely write whether it’s because you feel you can’t do it justice or just because you don’t? Me personally I am an AVID fan of mind bending/un-reality fics, but I can never write them to a satisfactory level. They’re so fun to read especially when they’re multi-chapter and you’ve gotta theorize on wtf is going on!!! It’s quirky and fun!!!! No one knows what’s going on and I ADORE that type of confusion. Learning to write is fun but I’m not at that level yet and I’m excited for when I can GGHRAAAHHH!!!!
OH BOY. oh boy. hello there thank you so much for the ask i absolutely love it. this took me a while to respond to because i had to get my thoughts in order 😅 i like a good never-say-never attitude, but there are many many things i write that are not as good as the blurry versions of themselves rotating around the inside of my head! the potential, u know? i can never do the potential justice. somehow i don't think that will ever change.
one thing i definitely struggle with is long-term character development - whether it's romantic, like a slow burn, or platonic or just in terms of narrative structure, whatever. i can't seem to get it happening to my satisfaction. i am so comfortable collecting snapshots of specific points of a character's journey, but when i try to slowly allow them to grow and change, it always feels cheap idk 😬😭 i'm also not so good at writing stories which span a longer period of time and/or have timeskips. it's mostly due to lack of practice with longer stories, and i'm working on improving!
in terms of more specific tropes or genres, though.... mysteries. i can never figure out how heavy or subtle the foreshadowing should be. comedy is also hard, although i've been practicing that one and i think i'm slowly getting the hang of a few different styles that are more humourous. and sometimes i read, like, Feist and Wurts' Empire trilogy, or Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind, and realise all over again i have a looooong way yet to go when it comes to introducing worldbuilding into a story naturally and intuitively. also, this might be silly, because the LU fic i'm most known for is literally about this, but reveals? i'm not so confident i can live up to the hype or satisfactorily fulfill the tension i've built. i hope my cursebreaker readers are not going to be disappointed by the payoff/reveal i have planned 🤞🤞😁
that being said, though, i keep writing all of those tropes and genres anyway, and it's really an honour to have the space and encouragement to be giving it a shot. i'm so grateful that all my recurring readers have put their trust in me and my ability to deliver a good story. throughout my childhood writing has always been a very solitary endeavour for me and i cannot express how much fun i've been having on ao3 over the last year, and tumblr the last few months. i've never had a fandom community like this before 💕 and i like to think that while i'm still growing my skills, i also have the potential inside me for anything, if i give it a good shot and keep at it. i think we all do.
i'm very sorry for all of this word vomit 😁 i guess, to chat as a writer, all i can say is i also LOVE reality bending stories, and they're SO FUN and you're SO RIGHT, and i don't have so much one problem writing as i do a lot of smaller more general ones, because i like to throw myself into my problems head-first, and i believe that you too have a million potentials inside you if you keep at it, and i for one am very, very excited to see where you go. i guess this whole answer was a gesture of enouragement, in the end. 🤩🥰
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