#DK mode

[n64retro]

DK Mode and Paintball cheats ON. GoldenEye 007 (Rareware, Nintendo, 1997).

[slapthebass]

DIR EN GREY - EUROPE TOUR24 FROM DEPRESSION TO_____ [mode of Withering to death & UROBOROS]

[gamebunny-advance]

The same image.

[guckies]

I actually just think about how Fit, Foolish and Roier have lore that’s just lore and they haven’t really had a crazy woah moment yet

Like just turn me 180° degrees and shake the coins out of my pocket

[spockvarietyhour]

This week on Hornblower!

[roseluwakcoffee]

Not even being funny I was like 'huh which other students do i think have autism in dr1' and accidentally listed all of them but five. And those 5 have adhd, half the others probably have both post cancelled guys they're all nd

[xxgive-me-envyxx]

ten days til I turn 14

[yrwestillhere]

Naaah this hoe is out there doing podcasts while missing his own no shottttt

[weabooweedwitch]

I feel weird as fuck commenting on your situation in any capacity because I'm just an online rando who doesn't know you personally or the details of your issues w/ your mom beyond what you post and it all just feels a lil too parasocial but even though alleged therapist anon raises some (potentially?) good points about your relationship w/ her and maybe overall emotional issues I don't think you should beat yourself up too hard. It's normal for trauma survivors such as yourself to have some unhealthy and toxic interpersonal habits (slightly side-eyeing alleged therapist for not at least acknowledging this instead of just going in on you). You're not perfect, your mom is not perfect, it's okay we're all imperfect beings on this planet we call earth. Whether or not you're a covert narcissist (not gonna lie I had to google that one lmao) is between you and a personal, ahem, real therapist. Maybe you have some emotional dysregulation issues okay so what? Those can be improved!

Fun story about this online rando I was actually diagnosed with moderate to severe BPD at age 18. It turns out this was kind of a misdiagnosis in the first place, but my symptomatology (namely RSD from neurodiversity) very closely mimicked that of BPD and I had a lot of emotional problems perhaps similar to your own. You mentioned doing a round of DBT when you were a teenager and not finding success, but according to my actual real therapist and personal experiences it's very common for DBT to need multiple rounds before the skills fully sink in. It's also way better doing DBT as a fully formed adult than a teenager who frankly, probably doesn't take their mental health nearly as seriously as they should lmao (this crazy girl shit gets less and less cute with age I'm telling you). I'm now 23 and after 3 rounds of DBT I'm told I don't meet the criteria for borderline personality at all and haven't for a while now. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma around this disorder (I noticed therapist anon throwing the word 'manipulative' around a bit), but that doesn't mean it's actually true. In many ways BPD is the modern day hysteria, but I won't go down that rabbit hole, just don't pay attention to what ignorant and oftentimes lowkey misogynistic people have to say online about BPD or other mental disorder! They are stupid armchair diagnoses who 99% of the time don't know wtf they're even talking about. You are loveable and worthy of life <3

I slept after work and i have a few asks now so, I'm gonna start this discussion again but since I uh, can get overwhelmed and over emotional I might eventually disappear from answering if u need to step back, but, anyways

One thing I have to be careful about is automatically leaning into "oh maybe they aren't even a real therapist" and I even got an ask suggesting this was one of those bitch lasagna people who were trying to actively make me miserable, which, I don't think is the case, but I also have to be careful automatically discrediting or lashing out emotionally at criticism because, well, a big problem I've always had is not being able to trust my own judgment and needing feedback from other people, stemming I assume from self loathing and anxiety stuff and I technically already am diagnosed with dependent personality disorder which, lack of self trust is a symptom of that (I'm sure I've mentioned that but maybe not?). One reason i began venting online when i was younger was because I would often have these sorts of incidents with my mother and I would use my blogs as the equivalent of an "am I the asshole" forum. I try to have a discussion and hearing other people's perspectives is good, and, a big issue I've struggled with is my mom immediately trying to get personal or discredit other people when they try to criticize her. Like, this isn't me going "see, my therapist thinks she's a stupid bitch" I mean when i was a minor she would literally go from absolutely loving a therapist and thinking they're extremely talented and caring and then when I got mad and repeated things like "hey you know, this is a licensed medical professional saying that a big component of our mother daughter dynamic is that you will literally wear me down to do what you want and you make it extremely difficult for me to set boundaries" and she has, literally, gone "they shouldn't be talking to you about me like that, I'm your parent, oh they just believe you because they've only listened to you, not me"

Well. I had multiple therapy sessions where, sometimes the topic would be dealing with my sister, or because I often feel like I struggle to bring up everything from not remembering, there WERE multiple times she would come into a session with me just to add on behaviors she's seen in me and things we've dealt with with my sister, and I had therapists tell me "yeah let's not have your mom come in here, she kept actually venting about her own issues and she was literally taking over your session and she was actually talking over you"

And im not, saying that to "prove" my mom is shitty or to say "oh look see, im justified" but like. My anger has built up over time? This didn't just magically start happening?

Yeah I need to stop blowing up over smaller things but also at the same time, I think I have a right to be frustrated when I'm seeing the same mistakes over and over, at least the ones that can financially damaging? I'm still SHOCKED she just stopped randomly paying the garage because. The remote isn't working and we have to use the keypad and I think some of the keypad buttons are loosening so sometimes you have to stand there and try it a few times because sometimes it won't close, it'll "untouch" a button you're still holding down and start opening again. And her response to that was "oh they weren't getting back to my emails so I just stopped paying rent" like. She. She literally dug us a hole worth hundreds of dollars for.... feeling entitled to help and getting mad over not getting it? She's been doing these sorts of behaviors for years? (Rm for post length)

Like gee I wonder what would happen if she pulled that shit with our landlord. "Oh, im gonna stop paying rent because the exhaust fan in the bathroom doesn't work" like no???? Why is she doing these things???? I was literally raised in poverty, why is she still doing this after we've had a literal lifetime of hardships???? Like gee thanks for not paying rent when you had solid income and now you're unemployed with hundreds of dollars due, that definitely helps, thanks, that's so much better, what a wise decision 🙄 and I call her out on it and she like, she literally sees nothing wrong with what she did? Because they didn't immediately cater to her, she stopped paying rent in protest, and that's Their fault. Like. That's fucking delusional. What if the property management tells our landlord we aren't paying for the garage and we get evicted??? Like it feels like she doesn't even realize the consequences???

Anyways back to what you actually said, fjfjfjf I rambled there, one thing I've noticed about DBT from the few times I was inpatient and outpatient is. You really do have to be in the right headspace for it to even work. It's so weird because certain things they would talk about and I would go "yeah well obviously, thats common sense" and other things would, kine of create an epiphany. Like for example, a phrase I try to keep with me is "its a process not an event" which basically means "don't get frustrated at immediate growth or results, things can take time" and this can apply to therapy, medication, really you can apply it to anything, but for me personally often when I am not seeing direct or immediate results, I feel like a failure and might give up way too soon, or beat myself up when I Am showing progress, just slowly.

Another DBT mindfulness technique I actually need to practice more (and tbh this could be an adhd thing, bc, I've always had focusing issues and I've read adhd can actually cause emotional regulation issues as well) is, like. When someone is speaking to you, don't be sitting there thinking of your reply, like, literally sitting there waiting for the second they stop speaking to say what you want, because then you're not thinking about and absorbing what the other person is saying. Although in my case often times I find myself doing that because I'm afraid I'll forget what I was gonna say, and my mom could also use a little work in this department

I definitely do think it's time for me to be reassessed though. I feel like now that I'm older and can better articulate my thoughts and memories and how things affect my relationships and ability to function, it can, I dunno, yield more results? Like something I heard constantly as a kid was "oh you have depression and anxiety and a lot of things overlap, let's treat those and see what symptoms are left" and its like homie that's kind of such a bad cop out sometimes, I feel like doctors adopting that mindset in my case really missed some important stuff. Like shit it feels weird to say since the trauma that caused it isn't recent, but I still display PTSD symptoms just in the sense that I'm jumpier and hypervigilant, like if there's an unexpected noise I still physically jump, I get startled easier, just the constant like, urge and need to look towards sounds or survey my surroundings which, I recognize my brain is literally going "hey, keep a look out for DANGER"

Regardless like, me being able to have these discussions with other people, positive or negative, is ultimately for my own benefit. Because this really is a sort of thing I can't do on my own. This IS a thing you take other people's feedbacks and perspectives on. But Jesus like. I'm not saying anyone has to hold my hand but that really felt so personally aggressive and it sent me onto a really horrible mental space. You know sometimes people insult themselves and belittle themselves because they think they're a lowly little worm and they just, they just hate themselves bro, like, it isn't always some inherent attempt to manipulate or demand pity and comfort. I've actually overnormalized saying horrible shit about myself and joking about suicide to the point I say it just, really easily, it comes naturally to me now, and that's definitely another habit I have to break

There's definitely stuff wrong with me, it's just a matter of finding out exactly what and, working towards treating that. It's just, unfortunately going to take some time and I need to make sure I keep my head on straight and don't do anything drastic in a fit of helplessness and despair or anything 😅

[tikoaztite]

hm. wondering if i might have a little dysphoria in me after all

[slapthebass]

DIR EN GREY - TOUR99 PSYCHONNECT -mode of “GAUZE”?- - AMAGASAKI LIVE SQUARE

↳ Band members interactions

[wp100]

the cheats in Goldeneye 64 are hilarious. DK Mode (THEIR HEADS), fast animations. Holy shit, they predicted Gmod alright.

[mosspapi]

The FOB special interest has been revived in full for the first time in 7 years. Never left obv but godDAMN I have brain rot once again

[furballfaggot]

2004 French print ad for various Mario games for the GameCube and Game Boy Advance.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Small Findings | Source: NMO (France), Issue 29, 2004

[imonanotherlebel]

Aftercare -Seventeen

--------------------

Warnings: Nsfw, Minors DNI, fluffy as fu-

--------------------

S.Coups:

Seungcheol is all about making sure you're okay afterwards. He'd pull you close, letting you rest against his chest as he whispers sweet things in your ear, his hand gently stroking your back. "Did I go too hard, baby? Are you okay?" He'd kiss the top of your head and keep holding you tight, running a warm bath for both of you to relax in, making sure to keep you hydrated and cared for.

Jeonghan:

Jeonghan’s aftercare is all about tenderness and attention. He’d wrap you up in a cozy blanket, pulling you onto his lap as he murmurs, "You did so well, love." His hands would trace soothing patterns along your skin, massaging any sore spots. He’d keep whispering sweet reassurances, feeding you bites of fruit or chocolates, and gently playing with your hair until you fall asleep.

Joshua:

Joshua would be soft-spoken and sweet, his demeanor completely different from his more dominant side during intimacy. He’d kiss your forehead softly and murmur, "You were amazing, angel." He'd bring you water, help you clean up, and cuddle with you under the covers, humming softly or singing a lullaby to help you wind down and feel safe in his arms.

Jun:

Jun's aftercare involves a lot of cuddling and gentle touches. He’d make sure to clean you up with a warm washcloth, his hands tender and careful. "You’re so beautiful, you know that?" he'd whisper, his lips brushing your skin. He’d pull you into his arms, stroking your hair, and wouldn’t let go until he knows you’re completely relaxed and comforted.

Hoshi:

Hoshi is all about physical reassurance. He’d immediately pull you against his chest, his fingers tracing up and down your spine. "You’re okay, right?" he'd ask, his voice filled with concern. He'd wrap you in his arms, make sure you’re hydrated, and keep you close with soft kisses, playful nose nuzzles, and lighthearted comments to make you smile and feel cherished.

Wonwoo:

Wonwoo’s aftercare is calm and soothing. He’d quietly get up to clean you both off with a warm towel, his hands gentle and caring. "You did so good, my love," he’d say softly, his deep voice a comforting presence. Then, he’d pull you against him, wrapping his body around yours protectively, and he’d read to you or talk about anything calming until you drift off.

Woozi:

Woozi might be quiet and reserved, but his aftercare is incredibly attentive. He’d softly ask, "Was that okay? Did I push you too much?" as he wipes you down with a warm cloth. He’d cuddle you close afterward, his fingers threading through your hair, and sing you a soft, calming song or hum a tune, making you feel cherished and safe.

DK:

DK's aftercare is filled with love and tenderness. He’d shower you with gentle kisses all over your face and neck, holding you close as he murmurs, "You’re amazing, baby. Did you feel good?"

His touch would be soft and comforting, and he’d make sure you’re well-hydrated and snuggled up in his arms, whispering sweet things until you fall asleep.

Mingyu:

Mingyu would immediately switch into his nurturing mode, his gaze softening as he sees the blissful exhaustion on your face. “You did so well, baby,” he'd murmur, gently pulling you into his chest and brushing your hair away. Without hesitation, he'd scoop you up in his arms and carry you to the bathroom, carefully cleaning you up with tender hands. “Are you okay? Was it too much?” he'd ask softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. Afterwards, he'd tuck you into bed, offering water and staying close, whispering, "I’ve got you, love. Just rest now," as he holds you, running his fibgers up and down your back, making sure you feel completely safe and cherished.

The8:

The8's aftercare is methodical yet filled with care. He’d be incredibly gentle as he cleans you up, ensuring you’re comfortable. "You did so well," he’d whisper, his fingers lightly massaging any tense spots. He’d cuddle you afterward, making sure you feel warm, safe, and loved, all while speaking softly in your ear, calming you down with his words and presence.

Seungkwan:

Seungkwan would be full of gentle reassurance. "Are you okay? You were amazing," he’d say, immediately bringing a towel to clean you up. He’d cuddle you close afterward, offering water and making sure you’re snuggled up in blankets. He’d be the type to crack a light joke or two to make you smile, but he’d always keep his tone soft and comforting.

Vernon:

Vernon’s aftercare is all about gentle, loving touches and reassurance. He’d quietly clean you up, his hands warm and careful. "Was that okay for you?" he’d ask softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. Then he’d hold you close, letting you rest your head on his chest as he plays with your hair or talks softly about random, comforting things.

Dino:

Dino would be super attentive and sweet. He’d gently clean you up and make sure you’re comfortable, asking, "Are you feeling okay? Was it too much?" He’d wrap you up in his arms afterwards, stroking your back softly. He’d whisper sweet nothings, kissing your forehead and holding you until you fall asleep, ensuring you feel completely safe and loved..

............................

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- to you reading fanfic about another member

SCOUPS: sulky baby mode x 100 when he finds out you're reading fanfic- and it's not even about him, it's about jeonghan??? he's upset because like he's right here?? why do you even need words on paper?? why are you giggling and kicking your feet when he's right here?? grabs your phone and throws it away from you - complains that you're basically cheating on him with jeonghan. shuts up real fast when you tell him he's basically cheating on you with jeonghan too.

JEONGHAN: very very very flabbergasted and betrayed. makes fun of you for even reading fanfic in the first place - ahhh i didn't know you were dElusiOnal like that (¬`‸´¬) mood switches up real fast when he finds out its literally a fanfic about dino. what the fuck man. dino????? his mind malfunctions at the mere thought of it. asks you what you see in him besides dino being the maknae. will read over your shoulder as you attempt to push him away.

JOSHUA: flushes and does not know what to say. gets all shy and giggly thinking its a fanfic about him and is stunned when you tell him- No! it's about mingyu! whines that he's literally your boyfriend and you're still reading about mingyu?? starts threatening to call mingyu up and expose you.

JUN: blinks in confused cat. asks you to explain why there's a fake story online about joshua and why you liked it?? is still very confused when you explain to him the online culture of fanfiction. will not talk to you when he finds out its a romantic story and you're reading as Y/N. joshua?? really?? i'm right here?? can hold a grudge for a loonngg time, jun stans beware.

HOSHI: finds it absolutely hilarious that there's even fanfiction about vernon existing in this world. finds it even more hilarious how invested you are. pesters you until you send him the link so he can forward it to vernon. will sit next to you and begs you to read it out loud like a bedtime story - cackles whenever Story Vernon does something he knows Real Vernon would die before doing.

WONWOO: judges you HARD until he researches more and finds some fanfics that are actually really well written. sends you ones about him as a poor attempt to distract you from reading ones about other members. will side-eye poor writing and acts like a writing critic. gets fed up if you continue to read fanfics about other members and tries reporting every fanfic not about him so you can't find it. (spoiler alert: he fails)

WOOZI: shrugs. understands everyone has their little quirk. he's a little weirded out that its fanfics about people he knows personally but he doesn't mind. looks at you when you start ranting about a "really good story" and asks you point blank if its another piece of fanfiction. finds it cute that you try to hide it from him. just say it's a really good fanfic plot, love. you're not fooling anyone with the "it's an amazing book i read online."

THE8: asks if you need to start meditating again. does not support the amount of delusion (sorry guys but have you guys seen the the8 anti fan service clips) chides you that he's literally right here and you don't need an online version! will tell you to just go find the member you're reading about if you want them so bad. (¬`‸´¬)

DK: giggles as he reads over your shoulder. gags at mentions of kissing. turns bright red if it's smut. looks at you with wide eyes and asks if you're really into kinky shit like that because he did not know. calls up seungcheol to tell him you're reading naughty things about him and dies at how mortified you look.

MINGYU: ego boosted 100% when you tell him its a seventeen fanfic. starts rolling his shoulders about to show off, telling you of course you're reading abt meeee ik im hot jeez im right here ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈ ). is offended and perplexed when you tell him you're acc reading about woozi. sighs really loudly everytime he sees you on your phone - even if you're not reading fanfic (╥‸╥) will work extra hard at the gym just to prove to you he's the best one.

SEUNGKWAN: supports your interests 100%. admits to you months later that he acc also sometimes scrolls through their fanfics, just to see what their fans are up to. trades good fanfics with you sometimes - he stays solely with fluff fics though, will throw you the nastiest sideeye if you send him a smutty one.

VERNON: bro does not care! he just kind of nods, telling you that its cool. you can tell he's a little awkward about it though cause he doesn't bring it up ever again. will occasionally ask you for fic updates to see if you found anything funny or weird.

DINO: does not mind the fanfic reading itself but is super super annoyed that you're reading about someone else. WONWOO?? he'll yell, grabbing your phone to take a better look cause he cannot believe his eyes. what does hyung have that i don't?? threatens to expose you to wonwoo if you don't stop and read dino fics instead. tells you to screenshot anything that's remotely embarrassing so he can send it into the svt gc.

BONUS ౨ৎ ───

MINWON: mingyu sees it first - you kicking your feet and giggling over something on your phone. completely speechless when you turn it around and he sees its a mingyu x wonwoo fanfic and you're thoroughly enjoying it. gives you a disgusted look and calls up wonwoo, who looks equally disgusted. the two avoid each other for the next two weeks because everytime they see each other they're reminded that their fans ship them.

VERNON!COLLEGE: confused af when he sees how many fanfics are about him as a college frat boy. rants to you cause he literally didn't even go to high school?? more confused when you explain he just has frat boy energy. ends up taking it as a compliment.