#DK mode

[n64retro]

DK Mode and Paintball cheats ON. GoldenEye 007 (Rareware, Nintendo, 1997).

[slapthebass]

DIR EN GREY - EUROPE TOUR24 FROM DEPRESSION TO_____ [mode of Withering to death & UROBOROS]

[gamebunny-advance]

The same image.

[guckies]

I actually just think about how Fit, Foolish and Roier have lore that’s just lore and they haven’t really had a crazy woah moment yet

Like just turn me 180° degrees and shake the coins out of my pocket

[roseluwakcoffee]

Not even being funny I was like 'huh which other students do i think have autism in dr1' and accidentally listed all of them but five. And those 5 have adhd, half the others probably have both post cancelled guys they're all nd

[yrwestillhere]

Naaah this hoe is out there doing podcasts while missing his own no shottttt

[weabooweedwitch]

I feel weird as fuck commenting on your situation in any capacity because I'm just an online rando who doesn't know you personally or the details of your issues w/ your mom beyond what you post and it all just feels a lil too parasocial but even though alleged therapist anon raises some (potentially?) good points about your relationship w/ her and maybe overall emotional issues I don't think you should beat yourself up too hard. It's normal for trauma survivors such as yourself to have some unhealthy and toxic interpersonal habits (slightly side-eyeing alleged therapist for not at least acknowledging this instead of just going in on you). You're not perfect, your mom is not perfect, it's okay we're all imperfect beings on this planet we call earth. Whether or not you're a covert narcissist (not gonna lie I had to google that one lmao) is between you and a personal, ahem, real therapist. Maybe you have some emotional dysregulation issues okay so what? Those can be improved!

Fun story about this online rando I was actually diagnosed with moderate to severe BPD at age 18. It turns out this was kind of a misdiagnosis in the first place, but my symptomatology (namely RSD from neurodiversity) very closely mimicked that of BPD and I had a lot of emotional problems perhaps similar to your own. You mentioned doing a round of DBT when you were a teenager and not finding success, but according to my actual real therapist and personal experiences it's very common for DBT to need multiple rounds before the skills fully sink in. It's also way better doing DBT as a fully formed adult than a teenager who frankly, probably doesn't take their mental health nearly as seriously as they should lmao (this crazy girl shit gets less and less cute with age I'm telling you). I'm now 23 and after 3 rounds of DBT I'm told I don't meet the criteria for borderline personality at all and haven't for a while now. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma around this disorder (I noticed therapist anon throwing the word 'manipulative' around a bit), but that doesn't mean it's actually true. In many ways BPD is the modern day hysteria, but I won't go down that rabbit hole, just don't pay attention to what ignorant and oftentimes lowkey misogynistic people have to say online about BPD or other mental disorder! They are stupid armchair diagnoses who 99% of the time don't know wtf they're even talking about. You are loveable and worthy of life <3

I slept after work and i have a few asks now so, I'm gonna start this discussion again but since I uh, can get overwhelmed and over emotional I might eventually disappear from answering if u need to step back, but, anyways

One thing I have to be careful about is automatically leaning into "oh maybe they aren't even a real therapist" and I even got an ask suggesting this was one of those bitch lasagna people who were trying to actively make me miserable, which, I don't think is the case, but I also have to be careful automatically discrediting or lashing out emotionally at criticism because, well, a big problem I've always had is not being able to trust my own judgment and needing feedback from other people, stemming I assume from self loathing and anxiety stuff and I technically already am diagnosed with dependent personality disorder which, lack of self trust is a symptom of that (I'm sure I've mentioned that but maybe not?). One reason i began venting online when i was younger was because I would often have these sorts of incidents with my mother and I would use my blogs as the equivalent of an "am I the asshole" forum. I try to have a discussion and hearing other people's perspectives is good, and, a big issue I've struggled with is my mom immediately trying to get personal or discredit other people when they try to criticize her. Like, this isn't me going "see, my therapist thinks she's a stupid bitch" I mean when i was a minor she would literally go from absolutely loving a therapist and thinking they're extremely talented and caring and then when I got mad and repeated things like "hey you know, this is a licensed medical professional saying that a big component of our mother daughter dynamic is that you will literally wear me down to do what you want and you make it extremely difficult for me to set boundaries" and she has, literally, gone "they shouldn't be talking to you about me like that, I'm your parent, oh they just believe you because they've only listened to you, not me"

Well. I had multiple therapy sessions where, sometimes the topic would be dealing with my sister, or because I often feel like I struggle to bring up everything from not remembering, there WERE multiple times she would come into a session with me just to add on behaviors she's seen in me and things we've dealt with with my sister, and I had therapists tell me "yeah let's not have your mom come in here, she kept actually venting about her own issues and she was literally taking over your session and she was actually talking over you"

And im not, saying that to "prove" my mom is shitty or to say "oh look see, im justified" but like. My anger has built up over time? This didn't just magically start happening?

Yeah I need to stop blowing up over smaller things but also at the same time, I think I have a right to be frustrated when I'm seeing the same mistakes over and over, at least the ones that can financially damaging? I'm still SHOCKED she just stopped randomly paying the garage because. The remote isn't working and we have to use the keypad and I think some of the keypad buttons are loosening so sometimes you have to stand there and try it a few times because sometimes it won't close, it'll "untouch" a button you're still holding down and start opening again. And her response to that was "oh they weren't getting back to my emails so I just stopped paying rent" like. She. She literally dug us a hole worth hundreds of dollars for.... feeling entitled to help and getting mad over not getting it? She's been doing these sorts of behaviors for years? (Rm for post length)

Like gee I wonder what would happen if she pulled that shit with our landlord. "Oh, im gonna stop paying rent because the exhaust fan in the bathroom doesn't work" like no???? Why is she doing these things???? I was literally raised in poverty, why is she still doing this after we've had a literal lifetime of hardships???? Like gee thanks for not paying rent when you had solid income and now you're unemployed with hundreds of dollars due, that definitely helps, thanks, that's so much better, what a wise decision 🙄 and I call her out on it and she like, she literally sees nothing wrong with what she did? Because they didn't immediately cater to her, she stopped paying rent in protest, and that's Their fault. Like. That's fucking delusional. What if the property management tells our landlord we aren't paying for the garage and we get evicted??? Like it feels like she doesn't even realize the consequences???

Anyways back to what you actually said, fjfjfjf I rambled there, one thing I've noticed about DBT from the few times I was inpatient and outpatient is. You really do have to be in the right headspace for it to even work. It's so weird because certain things they would talk about and I would go "yeah well obviously, thats common sense" and other things would, kine of create an epiphany. Like for example, a phrase I try to keep with me is "its a process not an event" which basically means "don't get frustrated at immediate growth or results, things can take time" and this can apply to therapy, medication, really you can apply it to anything, but for me personally often when I am not seeing direct or immediate results, I feel like a failure and might give up way too soon, or beat myself up when I Am showing progress, just slowly.

Another DBT mindfulness technique I actually need to practice more (and tbh this could be an adhd thing, bc, I've always had focusing issues and I've read adhd can actually cause emotional regulation issues as well) is, like. When someone is speaking to you, don't be sitting there thinking of your reply, like, literally sitting there waiting for the second they stop speaking to say what you want, because then you're not thinking about and absorbing what the other person is saying. Although in my case often times I find myself doing that because I'm afraid I'll forget what I was gonna say, and my mom could also use a little work in this department

I definitely do think it's time for me to be reassessed though. I feel like now that I'm older and can better articulate my thoughts and memories and how things affect my relationships and ability to function, it can, I dunno, yield more results? Like something I heard constantly as a kid was "oh you have depression and anxiety and a lot of things overlap, let's treat those and see what symptoms are left" and its like homie that's kind of such a bad cop out sometimes, I feel like doctors adopting that mindset in my case really missed some important stuff. Like shit it feels weird to say since the trauma that caused it isn't recent, but I still display PTSD symptoms just in the sense that I'm jumpier and hypervigilant, like if there's an unexpected noise I still physically jump, I get startled easier, just the constant like, urge and need to look towards sounds or survey my surroundings which, I recognize my brain is literally going "hey, keep a look out for DANGER"

Regardless like, me being able to have these discussions with other people, positive or negative, is ultimately for my own benefit. Because this really is a sort of thing I can't do on my own. This IS a thing you take other people's feedbacks and perspectives on. But Jesus like. I'm not saying anyone has to hold my hand but that really felt so personally aggressive and it sent me onto a really horrible mental space. You know sometimes people insult themselves and belittle themselves because they think they're a lowly little worm and they just, they just hate themselves bro, like, it isn't always some inherent attempt to manipulate or demand pity and comfort. I've actually overnormalized saying horrible shit about myself and joking about suicide to the point I say it just, really easily, it comes naturally to me now, and that's definitely another habit I have to break

There's definitely stuff wrong with me, it's just a matter of finding out exactly what and, working towards treating that. It's just, unfortunately going to take some time and I need to make sure I keep my head on straight and don't do anything drastic in a fit of helplessness and despair or anything 😅

[spirefan]

We're live with Super Smash Bros. Melee - Yoshi and DK practice: Unranked Mode + Viewer Matches.

P+ Very Hard Classic Runs from 9:30 P.M. to 10.

Team Fortress 2 Pyro Practice from 10 to around Midnight:

[glassdragons]

Gave the warden a new look and am re doing her for pvp. Still missing a skill and half her armor is the wrong trait. So far her damage is sad but she's stupidly tanky

[wp100]

the cheats in Goldeneye 64 are hilarious. DK Mode (THEIR HEADS), fast animations. Holy shit, they predicted Gmod alright.

[mosspapi]

The FOB special interest has been revived in full for the first time in 7 years. Never left obv but godDAMN I have brain rot once again

[slapthebass]

DIR EN GREY - TOUR99 PSYCHONNECT -mode of “GAUZE”?- - AMAGASAKI LIVE SQUARE

↳ Band members interactions

[olderthannetfic]

I always see people reminiscing about the Good Ole Days and about how antis are a new thing but. . .is that really true? Or am I just being autistic and taking things too literally, and they just mean it's way more of a common debate now than it used to be before, and that the landscape of shipwank has changed?

Idk, it's like I constantly hear about fandom wank and shipwars and censorship from decades ago, and yes I know "shipping/doxxing/censorship has always existed" can co exist with "antis are new" but I think there's still a bit of a comprehension gap on my end.

am i just dumb? What am I missing here? FWIW - I do feel like the context of "anti" has definitely changed. Back in early 2010s tumblr (I cannot speak of other website/platforms) I remember that tagging something as #Anti Donkey Kong didn't mean you think DK is an evil abusive monster and that everyone who likes him/mains him is also an evil abusive monster and that Nintendo is pushing the evil abusive monster agenda. #Anti Donkey Kong would just be character bashing, wank, letting out your grievances about how ugly DK is, etc, but it was really just a tag used for your own personal opinions (and for DK fans to filter out). Whereas now #Anti Donkey Kong would mean please go die and delete all your accounts if you support DK.

So I definitely know that "anti" has a way more intense definition now than it used to - but for some reason I find it a bit hard to grasp just how new this whole anti thing even is in the firstplace. It honestly makes me sad that I've never seen a pre-anti internet, assuming there really was a time before antis.

--

Antis are new. Specifically, the "Conservative Protestantism in a gay hat" thing that that one tumblr post pointed out is new.

We had doxxing in the past. We had masses of shipwank. We also had "How dare you write that m/m ship. It's bad!"

The key is that the "Your m/m ship is bad" crowd used to openly be conservative Christian homophobes who objected to homosexuality itself. Nowadays, they're queer 20-somethings who like m/m ships but object to gay sex.

It's the anti-kink, anti-fantasy brigade coming from "our side" instead of the outside, essentially. It's respectability politics about "Sempai will love me if I just sanitize The Community and kick out the icky weirdos". It's personal disgust masquerading as morality where once it would have been masquerading as intellectual superiority.

It's a product of queerness being more public and tolerated overall. In the past, a lot of spaces devoted to m/m shipping had to be aggressively in favor of contentious fiction because the existence of anything m/m was itself contentious. There was plenty of "Well, my gay best friend said ___ is unrealistic, and my slash is good, unlike that of you plebes!" There was much less "Fujoshi means fetishizer".

Of course, I'm comparing the 90s internet to now or the mid 00s Livejournal fandom to Tumblr of this past decade. It really depends on whether Ye Olden Times was five years ago or twenty five.

The modern use of the term 'anti' did indeed grow out of the old habit of tagging your hate. As the default cultural mode shifted from "My NOTP is dumb" to "My NOTP is problematic", the usage changed. At some point, antis started getting offended by their self-applied term and pretending that the other side inflicted it on them. This is revisionism. Fiction-is-not-reality had some writeups with citations in the past.

The big shifts were happening around 2012-2016. The long slide into puritywankers being everywhere has only continued since then, but that's where the tipping point seems to have been. TikTok exacerbates this nonsense, and there are clearly plenty of people who are anti-queer and only weaponizing clueless queer youth.

The big shift is that liking m/m used to weed out most of the worst people, and now it attracts lots of them who will not fucking go away because they like the same ship, just the hand-holdy, no dicks can touch ever version.

They spend their time bleating about how AO3 should have been built for them and how anti-censorship activism doesn't matter... because they've grown up in a fandom world dominated by AO3, which shelters them from the reality that the "Ewww, all m/m sucks!" crowd is everywhere on other sites to this day.

That's probably why the shift is when it is. Certain aspects of mainstream queer acceptance were on the rise just as AO3 was getting big. But at the same time, the world is shit and everyone has anxiety they self-medicate through rage and security theater around sniffing out The Bad People.

[furballfaggot]

2004 French print ad for various Mario games for the GameCube and Game Boy Advance.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Small Findings | Source: NMO (France), Issue 29, 2004

[trustmypoison]

SVT when a sasaeng harasses you

Requested: Yes!

Request: ‘hey there! jgh from work and thought of a scenario, i was thinking about what svt's reaction when they heard that a sasaeng attacked you while their at work (non-idol!gf x svt)’

A/N: I’m not totally comfortable with the concept of violence here, so I switched this to be about harassment by a sasaeng instead. I certainly don’t condone that either, but it allowed me to be more delicate about the issue with this. To the requester, I hope you still enjoy. 

Out for blood - Seungcheol, Woozi, Minghao, Seungkwan

Guard dog mode is activated the moment you tell him about an interaction that you had at work. These guys are so viciously protective that once he knows you’re safe, he’s making multiple calls or just straight up showing up to make some demands. He’s all but threatening to quit if his company doesn’t get a handle on this and back him up, and he won’t hesitate to breathe down your management team’s necks to address the concerns with a swiftness because harassment of any kind shouldn’t have happened. Period. I think if this becomes a repeated issue, they might even make a statement themself, regardless of what their company thinks. He does not play for a single second when it comes to your health and safety. 

Requires certain protections moving forward - Jun, Wonwoo, Chan

Will have a slightly calmer approach from the last group. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still making all the same calls and having the same meetings, but he’ll be much more strategic about it. He’s level-headed about demanding for more security at your work or at the very least for you to not work alone at any point so someone else can step in and help you if necessary. Until things cool down, you also will not be able to convince him that you don’t need a body guard to and from work or anywhere else you want to go. Don’t be surprised if you also come home to find a shiny new security system, just in case it ever becomes a problem outside of work. Also doesn’t play when it comes to your health or safety, but he’ll respond in a steadier fashion than the previous group. 

Just flat out asks you to quit your job - Jeonghan, Mingyu, Vernon

I see them encouraging you to not work or at least not work there anymore, since it’s been determined that it’s not safe. He’s not confident that his company or your place of work will effectively deal with this situation, though he’ll still make demands, and at the end of the day they’d rather just remove you from the situation entirely. They’ll absolutely respect if you want to keep working, either for financial independence or if you just really enjoy your career. But they won’t let you stress over finances or the job you have if being there might mean sacrificing your safety and security. 

High key feels guilty - Joshua, Hoshi, DK

Oh, don’t get me wrong, he’ll do all of the above in some capacity, and he does not want to make it about himself under any circumstances. But he’ll have a hard time dealing with the guilt about the fact that he’s the reason you’re in this predicament in the first place. I don’t see any of them cutting things off with you without talking for a long time with you about it to decide if that’s really for the best. Ultimately, I think all three of these guys would just need some assurance that this kind of trouble is worth it to be with him. He still might come away being a little bitter about how his career doesn’t afford him the same privacy as others. 

[imonanotherlebel]

Aftercare -Seventeen

--------------------

Warnings: Nsfw, Minors DNI, fluffy as fu-

--------------------

S.Coups:

Seungcheol is all about making sure you're okay afterwards. He'd pull you close, letting you rest against his chest as he whispers sweet things in your ear, his hand gently stroking your back. "Did I go too hard, baby? Are you okay?" He'd kiss the top of your head and keep holding you tight, running a warm bath for both of you to relax in, making sure to keep you hydrated and cared for.

Jeonghan:

Jeonghan’s aftercare is all about tenderness and attention. He’d wrap you up in a cozy blanket, pulling you onto his lap as he murmurs, "You did so well, love." His hands would trace soothing patterns along your skin, massaging any sore spots. He’d keep whispering sweet reassurances, feeding you bites of fruit or chocolates, and gently playing with your hair until you fall asleep.

Joshua:

Joshua would be soft-spoken and sweet, his demeanor completely different from his more dominant side during intimacy. He’d kiss your forehead softly and murmur, "You were amazing, angel." He'd bring you water, help you clean up, and cuddle with you under the covers, humming softly or singing a lullaby to help you wind down and feel safe in his arms.

Jun:

Jun's aftercare involves a lot of cuddling and gentle touches. He’d make sure to clean you up with a warm washcloth, his hands tender and careful. "You’re so beautiful, you know that?" he'd whisper, his lips brushing your skin. He’d pull you into his arms, stroking your hair, and wouldn’t let go until he knows you’re completely relaxed and comforted.

Hoshi:

Hoshi is all about physical reassurance. He’d immediately pull you against his chest, his fingers tracing up and down your spine. "You’re okay, right?" he'd ask, his voice filled with concern. He'd wrap you in his arms, make sure you’re hydrated, and keep you close with soft kisses, playful nose nuzzles, and lighthearted comments to make you smile and feel cherished.

Wonwoo:

Wonwoo’s aftercare is calm and soothing. He’d quietly get up to clean you both off with a warm towel, his hands gentle and caring. "You did so good, my love," he’d say softly, his deep voice a comforting presence. Then, he’d pull you against him, wrapping his body around yours protectively, and he’d read to you or talk about anything calming until you drift off.

Woozi:

Woozi might be quiet and reserved, but his aftercare is incredibly attentive. He’d softly ask, "Was that okay? Did I push you too much?" as he wipes you down with a warm cloth. He’d cuddle you close afterward, his fingers threading through your hair, and sing you a soft, calming song or hum a tune, making you feel cherished and safe.

DK:

DK's aftercare is filled with love and tenderness. He’d shower you with gentle kisses all over your face and neck, holding you close as he murmurs, "You’re amazing, baby. Did you feel good?"

His touch would be soft and comforting, and he’d make sure you’re well-hydrated and snuggled up in his arms, whispering sweet things until you fall asleep.

Mingyu:

Mingyu would immediately switch into his nurturing mode, his gaze softening as he sees the blissful exhaustion on your face. “You did so well, baby,” he'd murmur, gently pulling you into his chest and brushing your hair away. Without hesitation, he'd scoop you up in his arms and carry you to the bathroom, carefully cleaning you up with tender hands. “Are you okay? Was it too much?” he'd ask softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. Afterwards, he'd tuck you into bed, offering water and staying close, whispering, "I’ve got you, love. Just rest now," as he holds you, running his fibgers up and down your back, making sure you feel completely safe and cherished.

The8:

The8's aftercare is methodical yet filled with care. He’d be incredibly gentle as he cleans you up, ensuring you’re comfortable. "You did so well," he’d whisper, his fingers lightly massaging any tense spots. He’d cuddle you afterward, making sure you feel warm, safe, and loved, all while speaking softly in your ear, calming you down with his words and presence.

Seungkwan:

Seungkwan would be full of gentle reassurance. "Are you okay? You were amazing," he’d say, immediately bringing a towel to clean you up. He’d cuddle you close afterward, offering water and making sure you’re snuggled up in blankets. He’d be the type to crack a light joke or two to make you smile, but he’d always keep his tone soft and comforting.

Vernon:

Vernon’s aftercare is all about gentle, loving touches and reassurance. He’d quietly clean you up, his hands warm and careful. "Was that okay for you?" he’d ask softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. Then he’d hold you close, letting you rest your head on his chest as he plays with your hair or talks softly about random, comforting things.

Dino:

Dino would be super attentive and sweet. He’d gently clean you up and make sure you’re comfortable, asking, "Are you feeling okay? Was it too much?" He’d wrap you up in his arms afterwards, stroking your back softly. He’d whisper sweet nothings, kissing your forehead and holding you until you fall asleep, ensuring you feel completely safe and loved..

............................