#Crazy family

[jcvvz]

Tell me this isn’t how you’d view this crazy, insane, twisted family reunion…🤨

{ Tik tok credits: Gentlemantoji }

[shihlun]

Sogo Ishii (Gakuryu Ishii)

- The Crazy Family

1984

[amethyst-aster]

A typical Thanksgiving dinner

Aunt carol arrives first. She brings bean chili. It has odd looking smells, but overall not bad for her cooking

Cousin Jeremy comes second, carrying a baby axolotl in a bucket. He immediately goes to the air fryer. Squeals of terror are heard for two minutes, before it stops. He returns with a dish

Aunt Surya brings a terrible smelling tin. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t want to know. It gets uneaten except for cousin Eric.

Uncle Mark arrives with pumpkin pie. World famous and the most delicious pie you’ve ever eaten.

Aunt Ariel waltzes through the door with a bottle of wine. She starts doing interpretive dancing on the floor.

Cousin Thomas carries a bag of steamed green beans. It appears to be dipped in what you hope is cranberry jam. 

John Jacob dances through the rain in an umbrella with chocolate?

Annalise jumps with joy as she brings the gravy dish. It looks like hot pink play-dough, but you know what it is from past holidays

Bubbie Esther brings apple pie and cake, as she always does. It rivals the pumpkin pie

Anita carries a tin full of sweet potato casserole. It has a blue scarf in it, but she quickly takes it out. Strange. It looks exactly like cousin Barbra’s scarf. She was wearing it when she went missing

Dallas brings spinach casserole. Who is she? We don’t know, but she arrives anyway and nobody has the guts to tell her to leave. Bless her heart.

Uncle Bob brings a cake covered in fake eyes! Weird that it’s blinking though, seems to be in morse code…

Uncle Plant brings a tv? It’s not a food, but we allow it since he’s a plant and things are different where he lives

Granny Betsy brings a cow! It’s her favorite cow! Maria the cow was my favorite. Alas, she’s too old and “sickly”. She was tasty. Shame you only got one piece.

Cousin Aster brings mashed potatoes. It is the most flavorful potatoes you’ve ever had. Their eyes seem to be glowing purple…weird…

Cousin Layla brings ramen with ginger. Nothing can ruin ramen, right?

Sister NINA brings the ruins of an old ship. She’s crazy. Don’t listen to her. She smells like cat fur. When she brings it in, some lemon juice gets in your eye. You think it’s from the rotting planks…

You all gather at a large table. The air is warm and slightly muggy.

(Add yourself if you want)

[hygieiapides-the-vulgar]

My crazy uncle steve is a christian conspiracy theorist.

He talks a lot about the “madea effect”, where lots of people misremember something and apparently reality changes on a whim? Like the spelling of words randomly changes? Idk, it involves parallel dimensions or whatever. He thinks Satan has a hand in it. Or it is God testing humanity. Or it is glitches in reality. His story changes.

And sometimes souls descend from the afterlife to reincarnate. He thinks my dog used to be Samson.

Before the Flood in Genesis, humans were two people in one, and God split apart humans for their sins. Like there were humans with two bodies-split into several categories. Male-male, female-female, and female-male.

And so he thinks transgender people are reincarnations of the humans that were split apart, and their soul remembers being a different gender, so they want to change their birth gender back to what it was in their first life? I think. Uncle Steve rambles a lot.

According to him, the human-splitting and reincarnation USED to be in the bible, and he read it as a kid, but then madea effect rewrote the modern bible and everyone forgot the truth.

Honestly, I am just glad he is not a qanon conspiracy theorist. He has some very strange ideas, but otherwise is a nice guy and is fairly tolerant of gays/trans/lgbtqa people.

I just wish he would stop trying to hypnotize my dog so that they can “remember their past lives” and “reveal the truth of the afterlife to him”.

[nightowl2404]

PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY TO ENSURE YOUR SAFETY! - Nope, not going to happen with the Fentons....

"Maddie~ where is the Fenton Bazooka?" - Jack

"Where it has always been, honey! Right between the Fenton Foamer and Fenton Ghost Peeler!" - Maddie

"Uh... I need to use the toilet, bye!" - Danny

"Am I the only normal one in this family?" - Jazz right befor she grabs her own custom built weapon

"Uh oh😰" - Ghost

[elle-oh-ell3]

i totally forgot but i wrote down some of the deranged shit my family said and did last Christmas Eve so here you go

my aunty and uncle were talking about desserts and my aunty just goes ‘I’m not a very sweet person’ and then my uncle jokingly said ‘yeah, you’re horrible!’ 

my grandmother announced that she will not be going to a nursing home and that instead my uncle will bring her some ‘bye-bye pills’

my grandad gave my grandma two wooden spoons as one of her presents. Then he gave her a box advertising a security camera on the front, but when she opened it, it actually just had a mango inside

my uncle gave a present to himself (the national lampoon’s christmas vacation dvd) 

The Micheal Bublé on the speaker eventually devolved into 80s rock

My dad predicted that every single gift we open in turn would be a chainsaw

[toffeeandcoffeesstuff]

Bloody Deceit

Blood is thicker than water

But water is stronger than blood

Water brings life to those who harbor it well.

Water cuts through mountain and causes great floods

Blood is important that is true

But blood is nothing without water’s presence.

You can survive a little bit of blood shed

But one drop of water can be the difference between life and a deathbed

Water creates communities

Blood just enlarges them.

While waters is the glue to all entities

Blood is just a direct way to create families

So yes blood may be thicker than water

And it is needed for you to live

But blood is nothing without water

Other than relations it has nothing to give.

( side note this is my first time trying to rhyme my poetry in a while so please be lenient 😂😂)

[alwayschasingrainbows]

“Mrs. Roderick was a Milgrave, and the Milgraves never had much sense. Her nephew, Ebenezer Milgrave, used to be insane for years. He believed he was dead and used to rage at his wife because she wouldn’t bury him. I’d a-done it.” Miss Cornelia looked so grimly determined that Anne could almost see her with a spade in her hand." Anne's House of Dreams by L. M. Montgomery

[irenemaria96xo]

𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘮 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘦. 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘱𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 10 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘴, 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 10 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺. 𝘉𝘶𝘵, 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩. 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, 𝘢𝘴 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰, 𝘢𝘴 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺. 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦, 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴, 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘮. 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰. 𝘚𝘰, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘈𝘭𝘴𝘰, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵, 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯. 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵? 𝘖𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘦?

[derpyraccoonartz]

These two creatures have been here for me through things ever since I've became friends now and now I consider them family and that'll never change @clockworkbun and @jaydedoni

[feather-rose]

Artichoke dip...

....

Sasuke(Stares down at the food, strangely); Is it eatable?

Naruto(Sits next to him at his left side, and snorts.): Why do you ask? It’s your girlfriend’s food, eat it!

Sasuke: Ain’t so sure about that...Just the smell..(Wrinkles his nose at the weird vinegar smell and the weird yellow texture, here.)

Rock Lee(Who sat before him, all confident.): Come on, Sasuke! Don’t be such a gumpy! It���s Sakura-chan’s best food! I’m sure it would be great! If I were you, I’d eat everything that she makes!( His nostrils filled up the smell from the artichoke bowl much to Sasuke’s disgusted sight.) After all we’re all strong men, here! Right Neji?(He slapped the poor guy next to his right side, as he wanted to drown himself from humiliation, here just to look up at the food with the strong smell of vinegar.)

Neji(Tries to not look green here.) Yeah, sure..Strong.(He wasn’t so sure here just to look over the food)

Itachi: Then, let’s take a bite, shall we? It’s christmas time, here..(Nudges Sasuke by the elbow) Come on, Sasuke. It cannot be that bad..Is it?

Sasuke: Hn? Alright.( Gulps.) Let’s do it.(For Sakura, he’ll do it. Be brave, Sasuke!)

Everybody took a bite from the artichoke bowl with a piece of chip and stood up silent in the Uchiha and warming basement.

For a moment...

Which it did seemed like an eternity, for the boys.

Enduring lifetime, here.

Or more like neverending lifetime, agony....

Naruto looked like he was about to throw up.

Neji had turned up to be very green, much as the food inside of him wanted to get out.

Rock Lee, keeping onto blinking up his eyes as he tried to stay awake and not to collapse, here. As he kept on worshipping Sakura’s name through his mind.

Sasuke felt like his stomach was twisting up around as it made his head spin. Oh God.

While Itachi tried to swallow it down, like a brave man should do. But wasn’t. He felt like puking up, here.

Yup. It did tasted awfull...Oh God!

Neji(Moans.): OOh, God..

Rock Lee(Between his mouth so full, here.): No..Not’s Sakura’s foodie--(And held up his breath harder, again.)

Naruto(Felt like dying, here. As he held his stomach and mouth.): Ohh, man. I feel like dyi--

Sasuke(Moaned.): Oh man--(Holds his mouth together with shame with a grunt.)

Itachi(Moaning with pain as he waved up his hand and closes his eyes.): No comment. Ooh, God!( He held up his stomach with pain, hoping not to throw up unlike others people would do here.)

When footsteps were head from the staircase coming onto the Uchiha’s basement.

Obito(Nervously happy as he brought up a hand behind his head and chuckled up.): Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I’ve helped Rin with the table upstairs along Mikoto-chan, until it gotten late and then, I’ve realized(He blinked up at the picture here with astonishement to see five guys in pain, here.)--Oh, Oh, wait!

Sasuke(Still in pain): What?( He watched the other Uchiha guy pointing up at the bowl, here, perplexed.)

Obito: What are you guys eating here?

Naruto(With a grunt.): Sakura’s food here--

Rock Lee(About to cry here with defeat.): Sakura’s artichoke---

Sasuke(Groans as he shook his head.): And it’s not good..

Obito(Looked very nervous for a moment.): Oh..About that, guys..

Itachi: What is it?(Still in pain, he waited for answer from the elder and goofy Uchiha.)

Obito(Admited up a bit here as he sweatdropped up.): It’s not Sasuke’s girlfriend’s foodie, here. But someone else, here.

Neji(Moaned over here with pain.): Then whose food, is it?

Sasuke: Oh no..(He had gone more greener than Neji looked up here., when he had realized..)

Obito(He gotten more uncomfortable as he felt himself shaken..): Well..

Itachi(Gave him a warvning and death glare, here despite being in pain.): Obito..

Obito(Waved his hands with surrunder with defeat..):Okay, okay I might as well tell you guys..(Sighs) Well, I don’t think you can call it professional mixture, here. But I was quite in a rushed state, this morning and couldn’t found the toilet spot at home. So I’ve relieved myself onto the only spot I could find. And before I’ve known, I had left already for work but when I came back, Rin had all packed things up and then the spot I’ve done my--

GEURH!

And the last thing he had known, is that nobody got killed this early evening since all the boys had rushed out from the basement by pushing themselves from the first to go up and ran up onto the upstairs away from Obito whom looked up at the guys running away like idiots in distress. Grown and strong men, yelped out like pussies and moaned with desapair. Like baby boys.

As if their own lives were at mercy.

Because they’ve just tasted Obito Uchiha’s strong artichoke and urine scent...

Happy Hollidays..

[doctorsiren]

Gravity Falls AU where everything is exactly the same except Bill’s parents are alive and well, and they’re just so proud of their chaotic dream demon son

[1stnight]

How to help someone spot the sign's early. 💁‍♀️🤷‍♀️💆‍♀️🙅‍♀️🤦‍♀️

If you’re still doing request, is it OK if you either

Describe writing a panic attack?

Or

Describe someone who has gray eyes?

-> a link for gray eye descriptions: x

How to Write a Panic Attack

Physical Symptoms of a Panic Attack:

pounding or racing heart

sweating

chills

trembling

difficulty breathing

weakness or dizziness

tingly or numb hands

chest pain

stomach pain or nausea

feeling lightheaded

tense muscles

dry mouth

constriction in the chest

feeling like they're being choked

Other Symptoms:

heightened vigilance for danger and physical symptoms

anxious and irrational thinking

a strong feeling of dread, danger or foreboding

fear of going mad, losing control, or dying

feelings of unreality and detachment from the environment

Triggers for a Panic Attack:

something unexpected (ex: a phone call)

a reminder (objects, smells, locations, specific phrases, etc. that can be tied back to a traumatic experience)

stress (from work, a relationship, family, etc. that has been building up)

silence (ex: being alone in a quiet room. The silence can amplify a sense of isolation)

flashbacks (a trigger that causes the person to flash back to a traumatic memory)

out of nowhere (sometimes panic attacks just get triggered by seemingly nothing)

Writing Prompts:

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

He couldn't breathe. Oh God, he couldn't breathe and he was going to die.

She knew the panic was building up, but it crashed over her like a tsunami that swept her off her feet. The pull threatened to pull her out to sea and it was all-consuming.

They felt the panic begin to wrap its arms around them like a shadow.

"Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

"Don't touch me-- don't touch me!"

Her mind was running at a million miles a second but she couldn't pinpoint a single thought.

"It's okay. You're safe."

An icy hand had reached through their ribcage and was squeezing their heart. They couldn't breathe and they didn't know what to do to regain their breath.

"My chest hurts. It hurts."

"I can't!"

They were a crumpled heap, stowed away in the corner as tears streamed down their face.

She felt like she was on a boat out at sea, the room swaying and adding to the nausea that was washing over her.

He felt like he was having a heart attack.

They gasped for air but each breath felt shallower than the last.

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, beating like a panicked drum to the rhythm of her fear.

He felt like he was standing on the edge of a building.

They couldn't move. It was like someone was holding down their limbs, the panic rendering them utterly frozen.

[spicy-universe]

My step dad started losing his mind when he heard Trump got shot. He was scream-crying about the democrats "shooting his friend", and punching the walls and throwing things around in the kitchen. Then he started rambling about going to war, and crap. I was both laughing my ass off, and fearing for my life. I genuinely would've been less stressed out if i was in the house with Michael Myers. Me and my sister packed up our stuff and left through our bedroom window. We've been at our actual dad's place since. Shit was crazy man.

[witchycosmo]

Conversation I just had with dad that I’m still reeling over:

Me: I’m don’t like what I’m reading.

Dad: what?

Me: I think I’m going to look for something different to read.

Dad: what are we talking about?

Me: I think I want to read something different. What I’m reading is really bad.

Dad: why are we talking about this?

Me: can I not tell you about my business?

Dad: WHAT?? You have business

Me: NO?? I don’t have a business! What?

Dad: you should open a business

Me: okay?

Dad: you should open a business and sell what you were talking about

Me: (lost the plot and doesn’t know how to move forward)

Dad: what were you talking about? Chestnuts?

Me: (laughing) no??

Dad: you should open a business and sell chestnuts

Me: (laughing) what?? What are we talking about??

Dad: (also laughing) I don’t know

Me: okay (leaves)

[ideksams]

who are those flowers for loid? 🫠