#Crack ecke

[eggsaladstain]

shadow and bone season 2 but it's just memes

(season 1 version)

[dasiesanddarkness]

Jesper: see how i DON'T call Wylan an investment? very demure, very mindful

Kaz: i-

[zaritarazi]

even more six of crows shitposts (4/?) from twitter dot com and also some foil rares

[neptune-scythe]

you've heard of what type of person are [insert characters] at a haunted house

but allow me to present

The Crows in an escape room:

Kaz is the person who figures everything out immediately but won't say anything to anyone (they think it's because he's being a dick but really he's too smart for his own good and doesn't want to ruin the experience for the others by escaping in 10 minutes and doing everything himself), or he'll solve something while no one is looking and just go "oh wow look this just opened all by itself how crazy you should do something about that"

Inej and Matthias are calmly solving the clues and methodically writing things down, though Matthias gets frustrated early on, but he hides it well. Inej isn't as invested, she's just there to have fun with her friends and exercise her brain

Wylan is extremely invested. he wants to escape and starts getting flustered almost immediately and is more frustrated than Matthias and way worse at hiding it

Jesper and Nina are playing with the props, having conversations and making jokes. they both start screaming and jumping around excitedly any time the group solves something, even if they did nothing to contribute.

Nina is the person who keeps saying "come on guys we have to focus" and then immediately gets distracted with something that looks dick shaped and won't stop making jokes about it.

Jesper will be paying zero attention to the room and then take one look at something and solve it immediately and go right back to being silly

Kuwei is the one who looses all hope after five minutes and won't stop saying "we're all gonna die" and cannot be convinced otherwise. he doesn't do much to help just kinda sits there being a downer

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Jesper: Love, can you hand me the Allen wrench?

Wylan: *Looking at the tools* …Which one did you name Allen?

[jazzkrebber]

Jesper: someone get this piece of trash out of my living room!

Wylan, to Kuwei: you heard him, move it

[astrhae]

The Six of Crows + schools of ethical thought

"No one dances the minuet anymore," grumbled Wylan.

Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?"

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

[reinanova]

for anyone wondering, this is the outfit Jesper is wearing in chapter 3 of I’m Just Kaz, the Six of Crows and Barbie crossover crack fic i’m writing

I’m Just Kaz

summary: Kaz wakes up in Barbie Land. Ken wakes up in Ketterdam. These are the shenanigans that ensue.

(i saw this in Target and immediately said this is Jesper Fahey core)

[jackwolfes]

19 w wesper? loving all of these so far omg

“The paint’s supposed to go where?” Prompts: [1] [2]

“Okay—”

“I’ll go get—”

“That wasn’t a yes.” 

Jesper catches himself on the door frame, turning back to look Wylan in the eye. He lifts an expectant eyebrow. Unsure how he’s gotten into this exact situation, Wylan pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Let me just… clarify,” he starts slowly. 

“Shoot your shot,” Jesper replies. 

“You would like to use the very expensive paints,” he starts, “that I feel the need to remind you were given to me by my mother…”

“To make a sex painting,” Jesper finishes. 

Wylan stares at him. “A sex painting.”

“Hell of a lot classier than the ugly old landscapes your father had hanging on the walls.” 

“And the paint goes where, exactly?” 

At that, Jesper smiles. “All over, sweetheart.” 

The worst part about that stupid, cheesy line, is that it actually brings a flush to Wylan’s face. He loses all respect for himself as soon as he realises, and shakes his head as if clearing a thought, but then Jesper is making his way back into their bedroom and sweeping Wylan up into his arms. He presses a litany of kisses against Wylan’s face, incessant enough to make him giggle, and Wylan resigns himself to the fact he has fallen in love with the silliest man Kerch has ever seen. 

He can imagine it, though. He can imagine it very well indeed. Him, and Jesper, and an awful lot of space and slippery things rolling around on the floor (covered in paint, he reminds himself exasperatedly) making art in the most instinctual way possible. Loving freely, loving messily, loving with all the graceless abandon that his father would decry as blasphemy. What is the point of a trade that has not been toiled over and trained for? The fun of it, Wylan supposes. The mess.

Finally, Wylan puts a hand on Jesper’s chest, holding him back at enough of a distance to allow him to speak without being overtaken by another fresh round of kisses (although he allows himself one slow, tender one just to feel the pressure of Jesper’s lips on his). “I have ground rules.”

Jesper’s eyes flash. “Name your price.”

“We aren’t doing this in the bedroom or over any rugs. And you have to buy me new paints. The exact same kind!” 

“Will you let me hang it in the office? Replace that stupid painting of your grandfather?” 

Wylan chews on his bottom lip. “If it turns out nice, then I’ll consider it.” For a moment, he can’t believe he’s agreeing to this, until he sees the fire dancing in Jesper’s eyes, the mirth and the thrill, and realises that he absolutely can. He would do far, far worse, just to make Jesper smile — and he’s always loved the joy of being an artist, hasn’t he?

[pointwhitmark]

Die drei Chaoten und die sieben Todsünden als ihre größte Charakterschwäche.

Justus: pride

Bob: lust

Peter: ?

[sarcasticsouthernbookworm]

“Jesper! Hug the merchling, calm down!”

[eggsaladstain]

cannot stop laughing at the thought of kaz brekker going abroad chasing a big payday only to end up embroiled in a civil war in a country he doesn’t give a shit about facing off against shadow monsters and countless other horrors way above his pay grade with essentially a long stick for a weapon

genuinely the trailer is so fucking funny because you have alina flexing her powers and shooting light out of her hands and inej twirling her blades and jesper shooting with deadly precision and wylan with his big flashy explosives and matthias looking jacked in an mma fight and then there’s kaz just wailing on some dudes with his cane and swinging it around like a baseball bat

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

What I headcanon (unless it's canon) the crows sexuailies as and how they come out you Part 1: Wylan (PRIDE 2023)

A/n: I have so many gay fics in my drafts you guys have no idea what's coming for you

Warnings: coming out, crack, swearing, I think that's it? You have been warned!

Wylan: Gay (male! reader)

The two of you obviously weren't in a relationship yet

but you've both been very close ever since the ice court heist

you're the one who's believed in him since the beginning

you never cared that he was a merchant's son, he was so strong and to you've never judged people on their upbringings only how they acted after

and wylan was very thankful for this

slowly realizing he fell in love with you

you did too but he didn't know that ofc

boy was he a mess

he already knew he's gay, it's just that he's never really had tell anyone about it, or be more open about it

the only person who knew was Jesper and he was surprisingly quiet about it

it was because he understood not wanting to be out right away

anyways

so if he asks you out he's also coming out at the same time

and that's terrifying for him

he's literally killed people, and this is what gets him imao

but it's nerve racking nonetheless so when finally racks up the courage to ask you on a date he's a mess

hands shaking, sweating, eye dilated, messy hair, you name it

but he was still doing it which was more then most people could say

mark my words wylan is the bravest crow

he gives you a single rose that's blue and red mixed together

he made it in one of his experiments

he was trembling but then he asked you; "What do you think about gay people?"

You just smirked at him; "I am gay."

"Me too. Do you want go out?"

your dumbass thought he meant going outside

"um- no."

"What do you mean then?"

this went back and forth till eventually he just got fed up

"LIKE A DATE Y/N!"

"Oh, of course."

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Grishaverse taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626 @brekkers-desigirl @emmsamultifan06

[zaritarazi]

another six of crows shitpost compilation (5/?) since this is my life now

[neptune-scythe]

Six crows walk into a bar...

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Wylan: The best way to not get murdered is to never light up the room with your smile, be the life and soul of the party nor have a night ‘just like any other night’