#Compare the Meerkat

[shegoeshometoacactuss]

literally tomgreg

[lordofdestructionm]

definitive proof the compare the meerkats are gay (with diagrams)

[thekittyburger]

Devasted at the new meerkat advert. Aleksandr your husband is being carried off by airport security. Stop talking to your wombat nephew. Aleksandr.

[lexie-squirrel]

“A Simples Life”, Aleksandr Orlov

Помнится, где-то в октябре я на какое-то время полностью рехнулся на британской рекламе сайта сравнения цен и страховки, где главным героем выступает русский сурикат Александр Орлов и другие персонажи, такие как его помощник Сергей, усыновленный малыш Олег и жители деревни Мирково (Сурикатово). Поэтому я посмотрел все рекламные ролики, до которых только мог дотянуться на ютьюбе (а их там чуть ли не 200-300), а “сюжетная арка” про Сафари разбила мне с��рдце. Но вот до чего я долгое время не мог добраться, так это до “автобиографии” Александра Орлова. Долгое время эта книга была моим Святым Граалем, пока я наконец не нашел ее (пусть и не в оригинальной верстке). И это оказалось шикарной книжкой, не простой рекламной брошюркой, а полноценной и по-настоящему смешной автобиографией Александра Орлова и его храбрых предков-сурикатов, да еще и с множеством картинок и, конечно, фирменными словечками Александра. Simples!

[ocularmacdown]

internationally treasured shots.

[sweetsodasparkles]

Please tell me i'm not the only one who thinks the compare the market meerkat is nightmare fuel. Like its not a cute 3D animated anthropomorphic animal and also its not realistic enough to be just a meerkat that talks for some reason, its a third, horrible ucanny valley mutation. I mean look at it! And it speaks with a russian accent for some reason? Why? Who came up with this? Its even more terrifying when it moves. Its like a furby 2.0. Absolute horror. -10/10.

[spacefan]

we are in the age of emotional communication and well i just dont want to 

[janustheeighth]

I see we've reached the Poochie phase of the Compare The Meerkat saga.

[giuseppe-yuki]

pranks

carlos sainz x meerkat shapeshifter!reader

w.c.: 1.5k

warnings: a few curse words?

part of my shapeshifting!reader series

summary: a prank kind of backfires on you and carlos

picture credits from pinterest :)

honestly, you thought your favorite mode of transportation must be riding on carlos’ broad shoulders. with such a tall vantage point, you could see farther ahead compared to if you walking on the ground. plus, you wouldn’t be trampled on by over-eager fans, you didn’t have to tire your legs out, and you’d be able to catch a whiff of the familiar smell of carlos’ cologne. 

you adjust your grip on carlos’ racing red ferrari kit, digging your paws into the soft material and curling your body around his neck. the paddock in suzuka was real pretty, with cherry blossoms framing the walkway.

carlos continues walking into the paddock, occasionally stopping to sign hats and merch. a few little fans asked to pet you too, and you gladly scurried down carlos’ arm to let them stroke your fur with sticky fingers that kids always seem to have. a child completely covered in george merch even stopped to hand-feed you a piece of fruit. 

when he arrives in his motorhome, he gently sets you down on the sofa. he collapses next to you, body sprawled on the couch. “ugh, that was exhausting.” he says exasperatedly. “there is still-” he checks his watch. “two hours until fp3?? i swear to god, my manager must have messed up the schedule.” 

he leans back into the couch, and then fishes a peanut out of the pocket of his jeans. your boyfriend always seemed to have a stache of your favorite meerkat-friendly snacks in his pocket. not that you minded- you were always down for a little snack now and then.

he flings the peanut at you, and you manage to avoid the flying nut by a centimeter. you whip your head back at him, glaring at him the most vicious way possible. 

his mouth is open, hand still frozen in the throwing position. “omg! i swear to god i did not mean to throw it that hard, mi amor.” he scoops you up and pats your tiny head. reaching into his pocket again, he takes out another peanut and hands it to you gingerly. 

you accept the peanut and crack it open, but continue to glare at him. while you munch on the peanut, carlos looks down at you with a glimmer of mischievousness in his big brown eyes. you knew that look- he only did that when he had a particularly funny prank that he wanted to pull (the last time he had that look in his eyes was when he came up with the idea to put 100 miniature rubber snakes around charles’ drivers room). 

“i’ve just had the funniest idea,” he exclaims. “since we have so much time on our hands, we should go to mclaren to annoy lando!” 

ever since being associated with carlos, you have been dragged into so many of his pranks around the paddock that a glance at your meerkat form has people wondering if carlos was planning another mischievous trick. it was the polar opposite of your normal human form. i mean, who would suspect carlos’ nice reserved girlfriend to also be his havoc-causing meerkat sidekick?

the mclaren employees shoot you both suspicious glances as carlos strolls through the mclaren motorhome. he creeps around corners and listens through every door. you hold on to his team kit with your sharp paws for dear life- you surely would have slid off already if you hadn’t. it’s only when he comes across a sitting area with two familiar figures that he stops. 

“you’re not very adventurous with food, are you?” you hear oscar say, holding what seems to be a red-bean mochi in between his fingertips. 

“well, i don’t wanna be,” lando shoots back, pushing the japanese snack away from him.

carlos creeps behind lando, and hands you several peanuts that he fished from his pockets. taking advantage of lando and oscar’s bickering, he lets you slide off of his shoulders. you bolt full speed towards lando and start throwing the peanuts at his head while screeching. 

he yelps, jumps out of his chair, and scurries behind a nearby table to hide. oscar, spotting your tiny figure compared to lando’s cowering body next to the table, starts cackling. 

a full hour hadn’t even passed for carlos to get that look in his eyes again. this time, you were busy piecing together a 2000 piece puzzle of ayrton senna in the mostly empty dining hall when you see him approach you.

“what now,” you say, raising an eyebrow. 

a wide grin splits your boyfriend’s face. “let’s go steal charles’ helmet!” he whispers, just in case charles or any of his team members are nearby. 

poor charles was almost always on the receiving end of carlos’ pranks (although you did hear about pierre somehow obtaining a snake and sneaking into charles’ room with it). you swear that it is going to backfire one day. 

nevertheless, you agree, leaving half of senna’s face and his car’s front wing done on the table. 

it was a really quick process, as you shifted, scurried past the mechanics and lifted charles’ signature red helmet off of the counter in one swoop. no one batted an eye as you pushed the helmet out of the garage and into carlos’ arms. 

“yess! good job, baby!” he cheers, once the helmet is in his hand. “now where to hide it?”

he looks around, before finally walking into the gap in between the aston martin and ferrari motorhomes. you scurry after him, paws hitting the ground at full speed. at the end is a little secluded space, surrounded on all four sides by walls or other teams’ motorhomes. he snickers, and sets charles’ helmet on the ground. pulling out his phone, he snaps a picture, ready to send to charles as a taunt. 

you proceed to turn, brushing strands of meerkat fur off of your flowy shortskirt. “not even a thank you, carlos?” you say, tilting your head. “i risked my life out there stealing his helmet!” 

before he can answer, you hear the clonk of a waterbottle dropping near the ferrari motorhome. standing there, mouth open in shock, stands charles leclerc, the owner of the helmet that you stole. “did you just-” he starts.

carlos, realizing your secret might get out through charles, marches through the gap, snatches the familiar white celcius water bottle from the ground, and yanks charles into the secluded space. 

you stand very still next to the helmet, not knowing if you wanted to bolt and hide in a hole so you’d never be seen again, or to slap carlos for exposing your secret, to his teammate, no less. you knew that carlos’ tricks would backfire one day.

“mate, please, please, please do not tell anyone about this!” carlos says, clutching charles’ shirt. 

once the initial shock has worn off, charles shocked expression turns into a smirk. “of course i’ll tell people about this! you literally stole my helmet and you expect me not to expose you for taking my things? besides, it’s a payback for pranking me so much! i still find those stupid rubber snakes that you hid in my room everywhere. i always have to call my girlfriend to help me get rid of them.” 

you step up next to carlos and charles, a confused expression on your face. “wait. so you didn’t see me turn?”

a look of understanding flashes across charles’ face. “ohhh!!” he remarks. “you mean the meerkat thing?”

“yes!” you and carlos both say simultaneously. 

“don’t worry, i won’t tell!” charles says, to both of your guy’s relief. “don’t you know, my girlfriend can shift into a hedgehog? no offense, i think that’s way cooler than a meerkat,” he states with a smug smile on his face.

“oi, pendejo!” carlos says, narrowing his eyes. “how dare you say that!”

you laugh, putting an hand on carlos’ shoulder. “it’s okay baby, i’m just glad this didn’t turn out into a bad situation!” 

charles shoots you an appreciative grin, knowing you saved him from potential physical altercation with carlos. it quickly dissipates, however, when he sees his helmet behind your legs.

“right, back to the helmet, how dare you steal it! fred would’ve killed me if i showed up to fp3 without it!” 

understanding the power charles has now knowing your secret, carlos apologizes. “we are sorry, charles. i promise i won’t ever steal any of your things again!” 

charles continues to stand there, waiting for him to continue.

“-and i won’t play any more pranks on you, i swear!” he says quickly. 

charles nods once, satisfied with carlos’ promise.

from side facing the motorhomes, fernando sticks his head into the gap separating the two teams. spotting you three standing there, he jokes, “you guys having a party in there, or what?” 

t-minus 20 minutes until fp3, charles sets his water bottle on the counter and pulls on his balaclava. across the motorhome, carlos is doing this same. when charles finishes adjusting the material over his head and nose, he suddenly sees a flash of fur on the counter. it’s you, bolting away like your life is on the line with his water bottle in hand. 

“CARLOS!” you hear him shout.

from your hiding spot in one of the engineer’s headphone cubbies, you see carlos scramble over to charles. 

“what? is everything alright?” carlos says, concerned. 

“your girlfriend just stole my waterbottle!” he whispers heatedly, pointing at you sitting innocently in the cubby like everything was normal, except for the fact that a white racing waterbottle, complete with a long straw and a “charles leclerc” sticker is sitting next to you. carlos laughs, “i mean- i did only promise that i won’t steal anything or pull any pranks on you; i didn't promise my girlfriend wouldn't!”

taglist: @ilivbullyingjeongin @ale-522 @formula1-motogpfan @aceyalonso @my0hmary @mbappebby @rakshatos @heartsforleclerc @papaya-twinks @madkohi

[nathanbatemanfucker]

Soothe & Sleep

summary: miguel always comes home to soothe your aches.

pairing: afab!reader x miguel o’hara

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, soft!miguel, kissing, biting, cockwarming, unprotected sex

wc: 1.3k

an: this was literally just an excuse to write cockwarming with miguel. not beta’d and barely proofread as i JUST wrote this like an hour ago lmao. might be ooc as ive only seen the movie once. in honor of Father’s Day for our favorite dilf 🥰

misc. masterlist | requests are open

You’re always needy when Miguel walks through the door. Sometimes there are days and days of missing him, short bits of contact here and there as he traipses through the multiverse, but none of that compares to having him standing and breathing right in front of you.

You know that he’s exhausted by the time he makes it home— and you’ve tried to quell your neediness, to show him you’re happy he’s home without latching yourself to him the moment he comes through the door. There’s something about him, about the love that you two share that makes moments away from him feel like an eternity, even if he’s gone just for a few hours. But, he never fails to come home to you and make you feel like he never left.

When he makes it home this time, you’re sprawled out on the couch, eyes fixed on a herd of meerkats that are trying to make it to a watering hole. The sound of a key in the door makes a smile spread across your face, but you keep your eyes on the screen, invested.

“They survived the jackals?” He calls from the door over the sound of him shedding his suit.

You pause the show, turning around to perch your head on the back of the couch. It gives you the perfect view of him sliding into a pair of boxers that he keeps in the foyer closet. “They survived the jackals two weeks ago.”

He sighs, closing the space between you so that he can cup your face in his large hands, “I’m missing too much, it sounds like you need to stop watching this without me.”

“Or, you could just stop going away,” You tease, raising up on your knees to press your mouth to his.

“If I could stay home with you, I would, amor,” He says longingly between kisses. He deepens the kiss, keeping you from responding to his rebuttal. The last thing he wants it’s to send you into one of your spirals, not when all he wants to do is show you how much he missed you.

Miguel’s hands trail down your body, slowly and softly. His fingers brush against your collar bones, the swell of your breast before taking their place at your hips and lifting you off the couch. You groan into his mouth— the way that he man handles you never fails to have arousal stretching through your entire body. Your hands raise to his hair, tilting his head back so that you can lick more deeply into his mouth, tracing over the points of his fangs.

He gets your legs wrapped around his waist, and walks around to the front of the couch, sitting you both down. Perched in his lap like this, he can grind you down against his clothed cock, which has been growing harder and harder since you kissed him.

You’re content to stay like this until the two of you lull into sleep. Sometimes he’s too tired to go any further than this, but that’s just fine. As long as you get to feel him, to taste him, to be completely surrounded by him after being apart for the last week. The way you miss each other shows— the kisses and grinding and groping grows frantic and rushed. Your skin is unbearably hot, seemingly only cooled by his hands or mouth. Only Miguel can soothe your aches, whether they sit in between your legs or in your heart.

“Need to be inside you,” He mumbles against your skin, biting down gently as his hands easily tear through your shorts and underwear with no warning.

“Miguel,” You breathe in surprise, pulling back an inch to look into his eyes.

“Let’s get you wet enough for me, cariño,” He takes two fingers and rubs them against your clit at a steady pace, licking and sucking at the bite mark left behind by his teeth.

In less than a minute you completely coat his fingers in slick, whimpers and moans spilling out of you at an increasing rate. He presses his fingers into your mouth and you lap at them eagerly as he removes his boxers and lifts you, lining himself up with you.

“I missed you, so fuckin’ much,” He sighs, head tilting back as you take every single inch of him. You’re hot and wet, gripping him so tight that it takes effort to breathe. His chest heaves, head swimming with everything you.

“Missed you,” You whine softly, tucking your face into his neck. He’s deep, it’s almost as if you can feel him in your lungs, taking up all the space inside of you— something you’d happily let him do.

“I know you did, needy baby,” He teases breathily, pressing several kisses to the side of your head as he rotates his hips.

The slow grind makes your breath catch, and you grow needy for more, wanting to build the pleasure that’s festering inside of you. You try to move your hips, to ride him properly but his hold on you tightens, tongue clicking in admonishment.

His lips fall to your ear, his voice firm and commanding, “I want you just like this. Can you feel how deep I am?”

“Mhmm,” You agree easily, though it takes much more effort than you let on to still your hips again.

“I want you to sit still, need to see if I can make you cum just from sitting with my cock inside you. You’ll be good for me, won’t you?” He knows that there’s no need for him to ask, but he wants to hear you say it.

“So good, I’ll be so good for you, I promise,” You answer immediately.

Miguel makes a soft approving sound in the back of his throat before using a hand to grasp the nape of your neck, pulling you back so that he can see your face. He grins down at you, noticing the cock drunk look in your eyes. He loves you in all states, even when you’re cranky or fed up with him for the day, but this is one of his favorites.

His fingers return to your clit and his hips move side to side in the softest, steadiest rhythm you’ve ever felt. It almost drives you mad, the teasing feeling of him inside of you with such tame relief. But then you feel something building inside of you, the pleasure sneaking up on you so quickly that you hardly have to prepare for what is unknowingly your first orgasm of the night.

“There you go, look at you. Cumming for me just from sitting here. You’re so easy for me, aren’t you?” He asks, in a soft condescending tone.

All you can do is whimper, and he kisses you as deep as he is inside of you. If this were anyone else you’d have the mind to protest, but when it’s Miguel talking to you like this you know that there’s nothing but love and adoration— wonder even in the way you submit to him.

Over and over, Miguel makes you cum on his cock until he can no longer take it, groaning loudly as he spills inside of you. You pleasantly shiver at the hot feeling of him filling you up, pressing your face further into the crook of his neck as you yawn. You’ve grown sleepy from the late hour and the draining feeling of your repeated releases, unsure of how much time has passed.

He kisses your temple and adjusts so that you both lay on the couch, though he doesn’t withdraw, pressing his hand on your back to pivot your hips and keep himself deep inside of you.

“Sleep, baby, I’ve got you,” He croons into your ear.

Falling asleep with him like this feels like a waking dream and you slip peacefully into sleep, breathing in his scent. You hope that your dreams will be of him, and just as sweet as this.

let me know if you’d like to be tagged in miguel stuff!

tagging some folks who might be interested (let me know if you want me to not!): @campingwiththecharmings, @stargazingcarol, @soft-persephone, @k-ra

[thekittyburger]

Best tag. Go home.

[lexie-squirrel]

[oinkinpigprince]

Allan x very tiny critter reader. Like, Glep’s size, maybe even a little smaller, and just kinda likes to lay on him. On his head, his shoulder, his back, just perches on him. Height difference of the century

Jesus fuck, bro ain’t even 2 apples tall. Bro hides in mouse holes

Allan x TEENY tiny reader

You always have the jump on Allan, no matter what you always manage to scare him. You’ve gotten REAL good at dodging though cause Allan could obliterate you with a single punch

Makes you wear a bell for that reason, or something that makes noise so he doesn’t accidentally kill his own partner

Other methods of not accidentally killing you is letting you ride on his shoulders. It’s like a giraffe and meerkat. It’s really sweet though, makes traveling easier with your itty bitty legs

Allan does like to carry you though, especially since you’re lightweight. He’s giant compared to you.

He’ll sometimes tease you about it, says shit like “how’s the weather down there?” Which might just be a genuine question atp.

Kinda scared of you getting eaten by a snake or other wild animal. So he makes sure to keep an eye on you in case he has to rescue you from a hawk or something

Imagine something like that Allan episode but he’s just trying to save you from an eagle 💀💀

You crawl on his back or stomach and sleep there. Sometimes he doesn’t notice so he’ll get up and you tumble onto the bed, like the worlds scariest alarm clock

It’s really soothing to lay on his chest, feeling your entire body rise and fall with his breathing puts you at ease. Like you’re riding ocean waves

You’re like a stuffed animal to him, thankfully he doesn’t move around in his sleep because his grip on you is not relenting. He moved you’re moving with him

[shiftythrifting]

I've never submitted to a blog before so I hope I'm doing this right

I give you this Sergei (one of the meerkat mascots of compare the market - an insurance comparison site in the UK)

He doesn't look special but he has a backstory...

There's a character in our D&D campaign named Sergei who is currently missing, I saw this guy in a charity shop in May and sent a picture to the group chat saying "guys I found him, he's here he's fine"

I have since been back to that charity shop at least 3 times and HE IS STILL THERE!!! This image was taken at the start of September, they've pushed him to the back of the other teddies now. It makes me so so sad every time I see him, I almost brought him the last time I was there but I know I don't have space for him.

If next time I go back to that charity shop he is still there, I think I have to bring him home

it is destiny if you meet again

[mx-perfectly-fine]

happy pride 🏳️‍🌈✨

happy pride month to the uk's favourite gay couple