So while out earlier my eldest niece got some nail varnish, well roll on this evening while around home for a BBQ (as that's where my nieces are sleeping as I'm heading out to try and see the northern lights tonight)! My niece asks if she can practice on me with her new nail varnish, I don't think she expected me to say yeah or so excitedly agree to it but it's these moments I cherish.
She thought I was joking and went to ask granny but I said I'm serious, like I don't care about having my nails painted violet and pink, I've told her I'll even keep them like this for work on Monday! What I do care about is getting these precious moments with my nieces and having a laugh with them! These are the moments i’ll cherish and look back on with love and happiness! To them it's just their uncle being silly (my other youngest niece called me girly for doing it, she's only 6 tho) but to me it's a wholesome moment I'll remember 🩵😁😍😂
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Thinking about Khan and how he doesn't wake up from nightmares the way people might expect. He doesn't explode from them, swinging and breathing flame in defense. He doesn't wake up screaming.
He wakes up silent. And it's only if you're paying attention that you'll know he's awake. His eyes might open - but with his poor vision, it's not like he can truly see where he's at - and he might draw in a sudden breath. But it's the fact that he stops breathing that's the Sign. It's the way he suddenly goes quiet. Not that he snores or sleeps loudly anyway, but there is one less person making noise in the night.
Ingo isn't often awake when this happens. Very rarely, in fact, because Khan has nightmares almost every night. It's nothing new. Most of the time he will breathe, eventually, and take in the scents of his surroundings. He will realize where he is and use it to ground himself. And if he can't, then he will get up and find something to do until he can pass out from exhaustion and wake up better.
But it happens a handful of times. Ingo is awake when Khan comes to. And sometimes he doesn't realize it, doesn't realize Khan is awake until Ingo himself is returning to bed and looks down as he passes Khan's cot to see his green eyes open and staring at nothing.
But this time he realizes. He's awake, for no real reason, just sitting and listening to the world around him. Akari is snoring after a long day of survey work, Khan is sprawled out on his cot, the nocturnal pokemon are calling to each other in the distance… It's peaceful. Ingo rests with his head on one hand, eyes shut and enjoying it while he can.
And then one sound disappears.
He doesn't realize it's Khan at first, spends a moment trying to figure out what's missing. Akari is still snoring. The pokemon are still calling. Khan sleeps quietly enough that Ingo has, on occasion, put his hand under his nose or over his mouth to ensure he's still breathing. And it's that, knowing how quietly Khan sleeps, that makes ingo realize that Khan's breathing is what missing. That Khan is making no noise at all.
Ingo gets up and goes over to check, because Khan may be a prickly bastard but by now he's Ingo's prickly bastard like Akari is Ingo's daughter, he's part of the family. And sure enough Khan is awake. Eyes open wide. Staring at nothing. Ingo is ready to return to his seat when he realizes Khan is- not breathing. There's a tension to him that is abnormal, despite his nightmares.
So Ingo stays, sits down by Khan's side, and gently touches his hand. Too much touch too fast will wind up with fists flying towards him, so he takes it slow. Khan's hand is a fist. Ingo asks if he's alright, but there's no response. Khan's chest hitches, his breath sporadic for a moment, before a sound like a whine makes its way out of his throat.
And that- is so out of the norm that Ingo is now concerned. He puts a hand on Khan's arm, on his neck, as he leans over to look in the other man's face. Maybe it's the light of the night, but Khan's eyes seem… Shiny.
And this is a bad one. It doesn't take a genius to know that this is far from average. That whatever Khan has just dreamt of has truly, deeply affected him. Ingo pulls him up, pulls him into a seated position, and directs Khan's face to his own neck. Scent is Khan's strong suit, after all, and the best way to help him realize where he's at. Ingo ignores how his shirt gets a little damp- tells himself, for Khan's sake, that Khan is just drooling.
And Khan does what he never does and wraps his arms around Ingo. There's a desperation there, something terrified, and Ingo knows that this isn't something he can do on his own.
"Do you want me to wake Akari up?" He asks, because it never hurts to offer a choice.
"She's asleep." Khan says, which isn't an answer. His voice is hoarse and shakey. Ingo makes the decision for him, then, and extracates himself from Khan. Khan's hands follow him, reaching out, and Ingo is grateful for the first time his home is so small because he can hold onto Khan's one hand while he uses the other to shake his daughter awake.
Akari's snores vanish and she opens one eye halfway, confused. "Dad?" She asks. Her voice is low and thick with sleep. "Whassups?"
"Khan needs our presence. Would you mind joining us?" He says. And it's not the whole truth, but Akari wakes up more. Khan does not, ever, need anything from them. He's like a stray animal, coming to them when he chooses, but fully able and willing to survive on his own. And maybe now he still doesn't need them. If Ingo hadn't been awake, Khan would have laid there until he decided what to do. But Khan isn't making choices for himself, and Ingo knows he needs grounding.
Akari stands and Ingo helps guide her over to where Khan is still sitting. He's turned now, his legs thrown over the side of the cot as he hunches over and stares at the ground. One hand is still in Ingo's.
Akari reaches out, touches his shoulder, and that whine breaks from Khan's throat again. He leans towards Akari, rests his head against her, and then drags her onto his lap. She wraps her arms around his neck because he is gripping her so, so tightly, holding her like she's his saving grace, like if he lets her go the world will end. His shoulders shudder.
Ingo sits next to them, sliding Akari's legs over his own, and leans into Khan's side. He wraps one arm around Khan and is surprised when Khan returns the gesture, releasing Akari with one arm to pull Ingo into his reach. He is not just holding them but clinging. Ingo wonders, but doesn't ask, what he had dreamed about to make him so desperate. Ingo turns into Khan, places his legs over the man's but under his daughter's, and leans into the hold. After a moment, Khan turns his head to shove his nose into Ingo's neck once more. Akari is pressed between them, still holding onto Khan as if her hug will fix him, and Ingo knows they will both stay here as long as Khan needs them, wants them, to.
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