#Catholic Answers Live
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We know Vasco is obviously special to Machete since he rarely allows himself to be vulnerable with other people. But is Machete really that special to Vasco outside of him being an old friend/one of the many people he loves/is seeing?
Vasco adores him. It may be a little cliche but this is supposed to be sort of a "once in a lifetime/love of his life" situation for both of them.
I think they originally met and befriended each other during a very formative time of their lives, and even though the initial romance couldn't last, the impact and impression it left on them was strong. They subsequently lost contact but once their paths cross again over ten years later, largely by happenstance, they go absolutely bananas. Neither of them expected to see the other ever again, Vasco has missed Machete tremendously and Vasco's presence makes Machete feel more alive than he's felt in a decade.
During the time they were apart, Vasco was pressured into marriage and gradually started having flings of various lengths with other men, while Machete was first ordained a priest and then created a cardinal. They begin seeing each other again and because of their shared history, the relationship becomes deep, exclusive and committed fairly quickly. They definitely see each other as their life partners and eventually start to act like a married couple, within the severe constraints of their situation of course.
#Vasco has never had issues finding company#he's had lovers before Machete and because he outlives him by some 30+ years he likely has lovers after him too#but squarely in the middle of his life there's a ten year period he's madly in love with this one powerful but miserable catholic hound#he hoped it could go on until they're old and grey and still seeing each other in secret#Machete's downward spiral and resulting unexpeted and untimely demise breaks him in unprecedented ways#he learns to live with it but never truly recovers#answered#anonymous#Vasco#Machete#Vaschete lore
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s2 episode 7 thoughts
hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.
(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)
well. we shall start from the top!
i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge
(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)
we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.
back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.
(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)
well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.
so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.
he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him
he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)
he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!
so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true
anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.
the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.
he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!
the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.
coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.
you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.
i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:
"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"
(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)
she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.
that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.
mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...
but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.
and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.
cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.
next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?
he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.
anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...
she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.
it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.
(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)
at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"
i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.
but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?
but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!
he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.
here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.
mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.
mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.
so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.
the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.
probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?
but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?
and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!
and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.
overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.
let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.
#i think i shall choose to ignore this episode going forward#sometimes he is so violently a Man it's shocking.#like the sexy tool calendar? i cannot keep defending him. throwing tomatoes as we speak. they're splattering his shirt.#man if i was missing and i learned my friend hooked up with a vampire to distract from the sorrow i'd be pissed as hell#i'd be all#and how did that help the situation. did it lead you to find me. why weren't you LOOKING for me.#is this vampire more important to you? is she gonna take my place? answer your 3 am calls and stand up for you against workplace bullying?#and you WORE my NECKLACE? the one my MOTHER GAVE ME? as a birthday present when i was 15? when you FUCKED HER?#THE HOLY CROSS MY CATHOLIC MOM GAVE ME? you wore it while i was MIA? inside a VAMPIRE?#oh i would never let that GO! if i were scully i would simply never let him live that down. it would be awkward asf between us for a bit#sighs. maybe i'm too petty. maybe i hold a grudge too deeply. all things that have been said about me before!#scully baby if ur reading this i would NEVER engage in any sort of recreational activity until i found u again okay? don't settle for less#juni's x files liveblog#2x07#txf#the x files
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HAPY A-ROPE-MANTIC AWARENESS WEEK!!!
That’s why for this entire week I’ll be posting Rope MF
They’re my only canonically aroace character in my Kirby oc batch (everyone else is up in the air)
after that I’ll be back to Kirby-post that isn’t of related!
Now I’m gonna post 3 fun facts:
Rope MF does not know lgbt terms:
In fact they think Aromantic means that they’re attracted to arrows, which they are not.
2. Rope MF is canonically an adult!
younger than King Dedede and Meta Knight but older than Kirby and Bandana Waddle Dee:
3. As silly as Rope MF is as a concept he’s actually really annoying if he did exist.
Imagine those annoying missionaries trying to spread the word of the lord but instead of god it’s about ropes:
#kirby#kirby oc#waddle dee oc#rope MF#aromantic#I insert a little piece of myself into each of my characters and I decided to give them my orientation#They’re to busy loving ropes to love people#If you’re reading this put Rope MF in the chat#As a joke I was gonna ask people to put asks for Rope MF but tbh there’s nothing to interesting about Rope MF I mean you can if you want bu#It’s probably gonna be a rope related answer#I’m catholic btw so the diss at missionaries is fine enough like it is annoying tho#Don’t bother other people day to day lives if they want to be religious let them choose to be don’t push them#Bandana Dee#meta knight#-Video
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love how you give italy eyebags <3
Man’s tired…
my mans tired of fascists ruling this country (just as i am)
#answers#tysm 😭 i always appreciate when people point that out#yapping time:#i mainly tend to direct my hcs towards northern italy since its the closest to my region (which to be exact would be central italy)#since i don't have the cultural background and/or experience to talk about how i think romano could act or be through an “italian lense” yk#most of the hcs i have on feli are based on my own cultural experience as a person from tuscany and i totally hc him to act a certain way#that is based on how i live and have lived#however#i do think they'd both be tired of the absolute massive ton of bullshit that's been happening here lately#i can't even begin to explain how fucked up italy has become in terms of government since m*loni casually decided to become m*ssolini 2.0#in conclusion#to me they both have eyebags; are tired asf of what is happening; both are catholic christians.#this is to say my romano hcs are much more shallow than those i have abt feli please don't come at me bc of this
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fandom's got my heathen Indian ass googling the difference between 'seraphim' and 'cherubim' like a fucking maniac
#the answer is no they're not the same thing. but oh holy shit there's so much angel lore apparently in the bible#i am never going to understand it so i'll do what i want now#good omens#for context i never attended a church session except for once when i went to catholic kindergarten (long story) for like exactly two months#before my parents took me out because i fought with a nun.#i didn't know anything about the bible until high school. and yes btw this is a peaceful way to live.
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What is your favorite tree?
I considered poems by William Stafford (“Oak,” “Willows,”) Wendell Berry, and Tolkien for this, but instead I’m giving you the concluding lines of poem that is very special to me: “The Lives of the Poets” by John Balaban.
we stopped before a storm-struck, twisted pear tree,
a remnant from an orchard of 100 years ago.
Out of the hulk of its blackened trunk,
one smooth-skinned branch sent forth some leaves.
“Still blooming?” I asked. “Madly,” he said.
#poetry#April is national poetry month#ask game: send me a question and I will answer with a line of poetry#my life#the lives of the poets#John is the teacher who opened me up to the idea of poetry as the Great Conversation#as a then newly reverted catholic on fire with the idea of the communion of saints it was a very fruitful year
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Love, love, love Adore and am drooling over Head Over Feet!!
You mentioned a couple asks ago that you haven’t specified it’s in the US, and that made me very curious as to where they do live??
The way you’ve phrased east and west coast and mentioned eastern time (NA) makes me wonder (aka hope) that maybe, if not the US, they’re in Canada?!?! As a Canadian girlie I love some representation for us - so I just had to ask!!
They indeed are Canadian. 😁 They don't live in Quebec, but they're close! They live in Ottawa. For those unaware, Ottawa, Ontario and Gatineau, Quebec are directly across the Ottawa River from one another, and Hull is a historic neighbourhood in Gatineau. (By the way, the university in the story is Carleton.)
I'm a Canadian girlie myself, and when I started Disarm I thought, if American writers make them American in AUs, why can't I make them Canadian? So I did. I'm not from Ottawa (I'm from Newfoundland, which is way too distinct a setting, because we fucking weird over here) but I did spend a lot of summers there as a kid.
#asked and answered#remus and rieka are from vancouver#sirius' family is from quebec#his parents are the worst kind of ultra conservative french catholics#and very involved in fringe right wing politics#hence living in ottawa#fun fact: drinking age in ontario is 19 but in quebec it's 18#so sirius wasn't even being a delinquent when he drank the wine at dinner!#i was afraid i would confuse the brits with the hull reference#trust me the quebec one is nicer
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Hi! I saw your Bible post and if you're interested in doing this, I have a few things you could look into/do which might make the process easier if you have trauma/want to approach it like a set of myths/historical document! I studied theology and religion at uni (particularly queer and eco theology) and came at it from a non-christian angle. Anyway feel free to delete this ask if it's not useful/too much etc. I just thought I'd give some ideas!
Yale has a series of online free lectures on the Old Testament which are super interesting and don't assume any faith! They go into the various myths which inspired the various stories in the bible (such as the flood), and the history of particular parts of the old testament library (they also have one for the new testament but I haven't watched it so don't know how good it is)
Look into apocrypha! The Nag Hammai scriptures, the gospel of Judas etc. Might actually be super interesting to you if you like the myth/history aspect! They're the books which were de-classified as canon (or never were canon), but all were written super early (2nd century) I specifically recommend the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and the Gospel of Judas. "Lost scriptures" by Ehrman is a great laymans book explaining the histories/controversies around this and even goes into the controversies surrounding the secret gospel of Mark aka the gospel where Jesus seems to have gay sex. (Ehrman writes a lot of good layman books on the bible which might be worth looking at!)
If you're looking at the NT maybe look at books like Jesus the Jew by Geza Vermes or The Crucified God by moltmamn. They're a bit specialised but it is SUPER important to modern historical studies of jesus to situate him as a Jew because that is who he was! Also Moltmamns book is v leftist and not fundamentalist.
"And man created God" by Selina O'Grady goes into detail about all the OTHER religions around during the 1st century (emperor cults etc.) Which is great for context for the gospels and also learning about cool religious traditions around in the 1st century!
Queer theology? Maybe? Might be fun for ya? Queer readings of the Bible are abundant from Ruth, Judas, David and Jonathan and jesus and there's quite a few books on them (I'm not dropping any here because I've read some Intense Theological Ones which Im not sure would appeal but if you Google you will find)
Look into Song of Songs the Official Sex is Good and Holy Book in the bible! (It's also just beautifully written)
Looking at things like "the Muslim Jesus" might also be interesting? Little collections of how Islam has viewed/interpreted Judaism and Christianity and why is always interesting and often another angle on those myths/historical documents
I'm sure other people could give you more ideas/ways to approach! I approached from a non religious angle but my institution was firmly situated in the Christian tradition so is slightly biased that way. But anyway! I just thought I'd give some starting points you could look at on the myth/history angle?
Have a lovely day!
I AM LOOKING??!!?? gd this is EXACTLY what I didn’t know I needed, all of this sounds very up my alley & like it’ll be great for what I’d be trying to get out of it. like. I have gone from “this is a thing I’ve been idly thinking about” to “this is a thing I could reasonably do and where I could start”!
I’ve done a little bit of looking into queer readings of things in the past (particularly david & jonathan) but then I had a years-long period that I technically still haven’t gotten out of where I physically could not bring myself to open a bible so I haven’t tried to actually read those stories myself while keeping a queer perspective in mind. also have had more years of lit classes that I dropped out of halfway through the semester so I have slightly more knowledge of how to dissect and analyze Texts than I used to
#everything I ever learned about the bible was in *deeply* religious environments#95% of which were evangelical fundamentalism#I did also go to an episcopal church about a dozen times when I lived in [redacted]#& i’ve been to mass a few times + had One catholic friend growing up#anon#answered#save#I literally feel like i’ve been given a gift lol
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Congrats on the discovery i think you were probably the last to know ♡
give it a week and i'll invalidate my own feelings again i am so good at glueing my egg back together
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Saw ur post about being in a catholic church again and growing up catholic as a queer person. Just wanted to say I totally relate. The "I'm going to be a nun" thing was TOTALLY me as well omg. I used to think I was somehow morally "better" than some of my friends in high school because I had no desire to hook up with boys like they did. Lol. Clearly a reason for that. It's a strange road to walk because like for you, it was a big part of my life and identity for so long that i know it still informs a lot of my instant feelings and quick decision-making today. And yes the persistent catholic guilt is no joke. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I empathize. If you'd ever like to talk about it, I'm happy to lend an ear <3
LMAOOOOO why is the nun thing such a universal shared thing. I was kinda the same w the morally "better" thoughts than my friends too. It was fun w me too bc I was also an emo kid. So I was just this angsty pillar of Darkness that was determined to become a nun lmfao
I appreciate you for sharing this 🖤 it's nice to feel seen yanno?
#butch speaks#answered#asks#bear-shoulders#the 'pillar of darkness' thing stayed but the catholic shit didnt#tho i have the same problem as u w the catholic guilt#we need to evict the nuns thaylt live in our brains
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Too often people who do not want to do the work to live a fulfilling life or at the least strive for one want others stuck in the same rut they live in by preaching and teaching people to avoid, walk away from and stay trying to ignore their triggers. I along with many have chosen to embrace and work through them. It’s not easy but it is worth it. If you choose to fight. Fight for yourself not against. Love you and live…
— Tumblr both-beautyandbeast
#blogger#woman writers#relationship#friendship#life quotes#inspiring words#self love#love#motivatingwords#motivating quotes#do better#love is the answer#liveauthentic#be authentic#triggers#healthy boundaries#healthylifestyle#healthy life choices#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#writer#iamwoman#christian living#christian faith#roman catholic#twitch streamer#gamergirl#gamers of tumblr#faithoverfear
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[ID: Multicolored sunlight filtering through the stained glass window in a late gothic cathedral.]
#I remember the trips thru the cathedrals most vividly from anything in. Germany#seeing “soli deo gloria 1482” etched into an upstairs wall#seeing the trinity represented in stained glass#seeing how real people made stone look like living plants and then made it part of the ceiling#watching the vaulted arch structure develop over time#going past Wernerskappelle on the river and looking straight thru the building where all the stained glass used to be#knowing they still have concerts and council meetings in that great space#seeing a rebuilt church whose stones still have scorch marks from the bombs in WWII#listing to the way the stone echoes every noise#how cool it is inside in the summer#the statue of st. bartholomew (?) tearing his cloak in half#singing Elaine Hagenburg's 'Alleluia' in the exact center of a cathedral and hearing four seconds of echo when we were done#seeing people discover how to stack rocks all the way up to heaven without them falling down#I'm not catholic but they went off with the aesthetics#the way that art and construction weren't at odds with one another#they didn't frame a house and then send in an interior decorator#the stone pillars that hold up the ceiling got carved specificaly to receive the iron that frames the stained glass windows#the amount of time and work and money and skill that went in#these masses that used to be mountains have been pulled out of the earth and thrust up again to the heights#and they are spaces of spiritual beauty#for mourning for celebrating for weddings and funerals and desperate prayers and effervescent rejoicing and faithlessness and apathy and#questions and answers and unanswered questions#a space for the worship of God's mystery#a place where my doubts are met by the God who let doubting Thomas put a hand in his side#christianity#sorry XLBN i hope this filters cortectly for you
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if god won't do it then i guess i fucking will
#crunchyposts#im realizing now that i live off of spite and protection#god didnt protect me when i needed it bc the world is just too complicated for that. but i can protect other people#like what bleem said as above so below if you choose to care the universe cares. and maybe the universe didnt care for me#yet in spite of that i choose to care. i will be the universe for someone else. i will be what i needed someone else to be for me#so i care. i care hard and deeply and ill fight to the ends of the earth to make sure that the universe cares for someone else#and if the universe still doesnt care???????? at least i do. i will be the universe. i mean this with my whole chest i will fight god#i was in church and i said i wanted to fight him actually i was like i am putting in the work you arent lazy ass#tell me if you want this tagged btw this is my way of coping w my religious and spiritual baggage and if you dont wanna see that#bc you just like disagree w me it doesnt align w your beliefs totally fine#im coming at this from a 'i was raised catholic and my parents are hippies who believe that manifestation is the answer' pov#they told me to leave it in the universe's hands and i did and it didnt work. so im taking it into my own hands now#vibes (political)#<- i think thats how im feeling
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Religious guilt (specifically Catholic) is such a fascinating thing to me. I've never felt it, at least not significantly enough to remember, so I have always been curious as to how it came to be a weapon to control the youth.
#🐈⬛⚜️#Ofc I know the answer this is all rhetorical#I don't know how else to frame my question. how does it sit on the psyche#See I would have had religious guilt if my family used a different method with me but I just couldn't grasp it#My mum would be like Oh girls can't go into kitchen during their periods and I'd just go why until she told me to shut up#If it didn't have an immediate effect. like me get struck down with lightning. it was make believe#I fully believed in the supernatural though because that more sense#Like ofc ghosts exist. they just exist on a different frequency to us that's why we can't live with them#<- that was 11 yo me exact explanation btw. not even an exaggeration#Catholic Guilt gave the world Matt Murdock so forever grateful for that 🙏
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#Questions burn within.#Answers understood with faith.#Live#love#serve with trust.#faith#hope#prudence#justice#fortitude#temperance#catholic#christian#haiku
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Catholicism.
[.... oops I accidentally wrote real analysis in the tags lol]
why is he like this
#les mis#original#the man is just too catholic sorry#poor guy#it's a REALLLLY sad ending if you're an atheist#at least if you believe in God then like. obviously he's going to heaven but if you don't it's like.#OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JEAN [uncontrollable weeping]#he got a new lease on life but that lease said 'you need to at the very least symbolically crucify yourself'.#and he combined that with the self-hatred and isolation that comes with being an ex-con in a society that hates convicts#and so by the time everything is settled and he has nothing else to sacrifice but himself he simply#kills himself in cosette's name and to cosette's utter horror and grief. because if no one NEEDS him then all he knows is self-sacrifice so#it becomes a rather chilling tragedy of what happens when a man is determined to engage in self-sacrifice even when it's not needed#this probably was not Hugo's intention. but to me it's about when self-sacrifice becomes self-harm and that is#the ultimate tragedy of Jean Valjean that I missed when I read it at 15. back when i too believed what my catholic upbringing had taught me.#like I became an atheist at age 11 but the idea that the only way to be a truly good person is to place literally everyone in the world#before myself even if they don't want me to .... I'm still trying to outgrow that at age 30.#and I did not become aware of it being an issue until like my mid-20s.#it wasn't until the past couple years I could actually articulate why the end of les mis was so upsetting to me.#probably bc to me at age 15 it was confirmation that the best thing i could do for the world was to die for it.#when really now what i see is cosette's grief and the utter lack of necessity in Jean's sacrifice and i think how much more beautiful it is#to instead LIVE for one another. because unnecessary self-sacrificial death is just suicide. jean commits suicide bc his belief system#and his trauma and his oppression make it impossible for him to see saving his own life as a moral good.#oh no I've written an actual answer dammit this was meant to be a silly haha post but yeah Catholicism saved him until it damned him#womp womp [uncontrollable sobbing]
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