#Can I ever post something without rambling forever in my tags?

[sparkwithinme]

Apparently, I started this a few weeks after I’d finished ShB and it’s patches, which was sometime like... fall 2021... so this has only taken me... 16 months to finally finish...ish. Good enough anyways. lol ^^; At that point I was so full of ShB brainworms... This in particular is 5.0.

[shannonsketches]

something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | mature | 2k | tags: established relationship, post-s4, Valentine's Day, Robin is the best, fluff | summary: Steve loves Eddie, he really, really does. He just can't say it. | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is just a four-letter word by @sal-si-puedes | AO3)

"He probably thinks I don't love him, Robin. Which is... ridiculous. I do! I really, really do. I just can't say it." Steve is pacing around the blissfully empty Family Video Store, his hands making a mess of his hair as they run through it in frustration.

"This is so stupid. I* am* so stupid, it's just four stupid letters, even a preschooler can say it," he rambles, his eyes wild as they look at Robin. "Why am I like this, Robbie?" His voice breaks, along with his heart, at the thought of Eddie doubting Steve's feelings for him for even a second.

Robin walks over to him and grips his shoulders tightly, her blue eyes boring into his as she says in her firmest you-listen-to-me-now voice. "You're not stupid. This is my best friend you're talking about, so watch it." That earns her at least a half-smile, which counts as a victory considering Steve was already pinching his nose to hold back tears.

"I know you love him, Steve. Everyone knows it. One look at you when he's in the room, or even when you're just talking about him, is enough to know you love him. And I'm sure Eddie knows it too. He has to."

Robin's words soothe some of the fear in Steve's heart, knowing that she would tell him if she really thought he had messed up. But even though it's okay now, Eddie won't wait forever for Steve to say those three little words. No one would. Steve knows that his heart couldn't take being with Eddie, loving Eddie and telling him that, only to never hear it back from him.

"I don't know. Even if you're right, I feel like I'm losing him. That something in me is broken, and one day he'll realize that too, and then he'll leave." With an even smaller voice Steve adds: "I can't lose him, Robbie".

They don't hug very often. Robin shows her affection in many ways, but most of them aren't overly physical. That's Eddie's job, clinging to Steve like a koala most days, always touching Steve in some way, even if it's just his shoulder nudging Steve's. Robin pulling him into a tight hug now means a lot to him, but it's also a testament to the gravity of the situation.

With their arms around each other between the horror and action movie sections, Steve takes a moment to just soak in the comfort she offers. What happened at Starcourt messed them both up, caused them both more trauma than any teenager should have to deal with, but on a very selfish level, Steve can't help but be grateful that it happened. A life without Robin Buckley sounds like the greater horror to him.

After a few minutes, Robin gently pulls away from Steve to look at him. He's reluctant to let her go, even though he knows this is an even longer hug than the one she gave him when Nancy told him they weren't getting back together after defeating Vecna. She wanted to go to Boston, make a career, see the world. And Steve? Steve wanted a home, a place to belong, and someone to share that home with. They wanted different things, he realizes now.

That doesn't mean it didn't open old wounds, memories of how it felt to be rejected by her, his love for her thrown in his face like it was worthless. Bullshit.

As attuned to him and his thoughts as ever, a true testament to the fact that they share a brain cell, Robin says, "I think it's understandable that you can't say it. The last time you told someone you loved them, you were hurt, badly. Your heart is probably just trying to protect itself. Like a kid who touched a hot stove and got burned wouldn't touch another stove, you know?"

Steve nods, because in a way it makes sense. It just doesn't help him to know.

"But what am I supposed to do, Robin? It's not Eddie's fault that I'm broken."

"You, Steve Harrington, are not broken. Just a little bruised. There is nothing wrong with you just because you got hurt and have the scars to show for it. Like Max, because of the injuries to her leg, she cannot walk like she used to before Vecna, so she uses her crutch. She's not broken. Is she?"

"No, of course not. If anything, she's even stronger now, I saw her hit Lucas with the crutch and tell him to hurry up on the way to the movies," Steve says, smiling at the memory.

"See!" Robin waves her hand at him in excitement, almost bouncing with it. "All you need is a crutch!"

They look at each other wide-eyed before matching smiles break out on their faces, Robin's giddy at having found a solution, Steve's reflecting the tentative hope blossoming in his chest.

His talk with Robin certainly helped, but as Valentine's Day approaches, the fears and insecurities start to creep back in. It's not even like Eddie is giving him any indication that he's not happy with Steve or their relationship. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Eddie tells him he loves him almost every time they see each other, at the most random moments. Some days he whispers it in Steve's ear to wake him up, other days it's his way of saying good night to him with his arm around Steve's waist and his hand over Steve's heart in a protective grip. He says it casually when Steve brings him breakfast in bed or lunch to the record store where he now works. Just yesterday he said it while Steve was buried deep inside him, their hands intertwined beside Eddie's head and brown eyes looking softly up at Steve.

It's not meant to make him feel bad about himself, he knows that.

He still does.

So when he opens his front door to the sight of Eddie standing on his doorstep in his nicest jeans and a forest green button-down Steve has never seen before, clearly having put some real effort into his appearance, Steve almost crumbles.

He's a shitty boyfriend, isn't he? There's this amazing guy who goes out of his way to look nice for Steve, even though he doesn't even like Valentine's Day, just because he knows it's important to Steve. And he can't even tell him he loves him.

Some of what he's feeling must be showing on his face, because Eddie's cheerful smile falls and he hurries into the house to pull Steve into his arms, slamming the door shut with his foot.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry, I told Dustin green wasn't my color, but he insisted. I look hideous, don't I?"

That makes Steve snort wetly into Eddie's neck before muttering a fond "Idiot" into it.

Eddie just hums, obviously pleased with himself for making Steve laugh. "You can tell me. You know I don't mind getting naked for you."

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?"

Eddie grinned wolfishly at him. "I don't know, the tear in my Hellfire shirt from when you ripped it off me begs to differ."

Steve blushes at the memory, even as he laughs at Eddie's words. Instead of saying anything else, Steve pulls him back into his arms and Eddie goes willingly.

"Hi, baby," he says, his nose brushing behind Steve's ear.

"Hi." Steve breathes him in, the smell of cigarette smoke and his shampoo strong where his nose is buried in Eddie's hair.

They don't let go for a long time.

It's Eddie who pulls back first, and Steve does his best not to read into it. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

The Steve from before the Upside Down would have just shaken his head and told Eddie that everything was fine before pulling him into the bedroom to reassure them both that it was. Not talking about his feelings, fears, and needs might have worked for hookups, but he learned the hard way that it doesn't work when you want to be in a relationship.

So Steve takes Eddie's hand and leads him over to the couch where they both sit facing each other. They don't let go of each other's hands.

"I know you're probably wondering why I haven't told you... why I haven't said it yet."

Eddie's eyebrows disappear behind his fringe. "It?"

Sighing, Steve watches his fingers run over Eddie's knuckles. "You know. That I love you."

"Oh."

It's hard to place Eddie's tone, and even harder to place the silence that follows, but it makes his knee jiggle with nerves and his stomach churn. Usually it's Eddie who tends to fill the silence between them when it feels too big, too heavy, but today it's Steve.

"It's not because I don't want to, I swear. It's just," another frustrated sigh, the hand currently not held by Eddie's rubbing over his face, "I just can't say it. And I am so, so sorry, because you deserve to hear it. Every day. But I can't... I can't. So I understand if you don't want to do this anymore. You deserve better, Eddie. You really, really do."

Eddie lets Steve's words settle between them, aching and raw, but he never lets go of Steve's hand.

"You're right," he finally says, and the sound of Steve's heart breaking is deafening to his own ears. Pinching his nose, he tries to take his hand back from Eddie, but his boyfriend (if he can still call him that) won't budge. "You're right about me wondering, Steve. But that was before."

Looking up, a frown forming between his eyebrows, Steve asks, "Before?"

"Before I realized that you do tell me that you love me, every day. You say it when you tiptoe around the trailer in the morning to make breakfast without waking me. You tell me every time you pack an extra blanket or sweater when we go to the quarry because you know I always get cold. I hear it loud and clear every time you bring me lunch, even though it means you waste most of your own lunch break driving around town. It's in the way you try so hard to make Wayne like you because you know how much that means to me, and in the way you hold me after another nightmare, and in the way you kiss me sometimes like there's nothing in the world you'd rather be doing, without it having to lead anywhere, just because you like kissing me."

Eddie scooted forward and bridged the gap between them by taking Steve's face in his hands.

"Steve, you've been telling me you love me for months with everything except words. I don't really need them. It's just a four-letter word."

And, fuck, now Steve is crying. Eddie wipes away his tears with his thumbs, and when that's not enough, he kisses them away with his lips.

Steve is so in love with him that he has no idea how the feeling even fits in his body.

"Damn," he chuckles wetly, "that means I didn't even have to find a crutch?"

Now it's Eddie's turn to look at Steve in confusion, clearly worried that his boyfriend might have lost his mind. "What crutch? Is this a sex thing?"

Laughing and shaking his head fondly, Steve raises his free hand to his head, palm facing Eddie. Then he brings his thumb, index finger, and little finger up, keeping his ring and middle fingers down, before moving his hand back and forth slightly.

"Robin came up with this. She said if I couldn't say the words with my mouth, maybe I could say them in a different way. I thought of trying sign language," Steve adds sheepishly.

Before he knows what's happening, Eddie is on top of him, pressing him into the couch with his body weight and showering his face with kisses.

"You're so smart," kiss, "and beautiful," kiss, "and wonderful," kiss, "and I love you so much." The last part is accompanied by a lingering kiss on his lips and Steve melts under it.

Even though he obviously didn't have to tell Eddie this way, Steve is glad that he did.

He also thinks it won't be long before he can say those words, too. If anyone can help him walk without a crutch, it's Eddie.

[dovand]

i am as always thinking about 14 and the nobles... specifically 14 & shaun. CRIMINAL lack of 14 & shaun content . excuse me that is my emotional support deranged lovers-in-law prongs of a queerplatonic throuple V. that is my little scrinkly wet cat and his chill saint bernard friend. that is my symbiotic relationship weirdos who sleep back-to-back to 14 can a) leech his body heat b) cuddle donna c) not fall off the bed. that is my favourite “both wake up early but one of them is being clung to like they are a teddy bear and it is Not Shaun, who is making ‘too bad’ faces at 14 and tiptoeing away” dynamic.

(14 either ends up dozing again after he wakes up early or just lays there curled up thinking—but, either way, when shaun shows up with breakfast in bed every sunday, he is treated to the beautiful sight of the two huge autism creature eyes peering up at him from behind the most bedraggled mop of hair ever seen. whether there are any thoughts behind those eyes depends on whether their owner has been napping or Pondering)

(yes this is all made up in my head!!! yes i am dismayed by there only being FOUR FICS (4!!) using it as a tag and none of them (afaict) doing it in a qpr way. where is my deranged weirdplatonic polycule!!!)

further insanity under the cut pleasseee please please read. please i need to be insane about this with people

(also btw this post is about queerplatonic doctordonna, doctordonna shippers i love you and you are welcome to contribute but it is a Little squicky for me so if tag ur additions (so i have a heads-up) that would be so lovely and i would adore you forever <3)

shaun likes listening to people ramble and 14 likes rambling so it is a regular occurrence to find the two of them like. standing in the kitchen holding cups of tea except one of them is actually drinking the tea and one of them is talking too rapidly about equivalent exchange to remember to blink, let alone have a sip of earl gray that has veered violently past lukewarm and is headed straight for room temperature

if 14 is in a not-wordy mood tho… thru shaun’s expert tutelage he has mastered the art of the Dad Nod. he passes shaun in the hall and gives him a little nod. shaun gives him one back. 0 words are spoken but they understand each other on a deeper level than if there had been.

they go on a Family Outing to a thrift store. rose and donna disappear to the dressier sections. shaun creeps along the racks of trousers, solemnly comparing seemingly identical pairs of jeans. 14 follows him and stares for a while, then silently hands him a loudly patterned pair of shorts. shaun takes them without question and adds them to his basket & sylvia loses her mind just a little bit when she sees him wearing them

(^ this inspired by going thrifting w my friend and looking @ everything and then finding her dad looking thru the racks of shorts comparing two beige ones, and my friend handing him a pair of pink shorts with penguins on and him buying them. because he has some . i think plaid shorts? at home and when he wore them his wife said he looked gay. so he’s trying to do it More) (it's an incredible family dynamic there. i have no idea what is going on)

god jesus. 14 learns how to cook so he can be the housething (as opposed to housewife or househusband. he is just a weirdgenderthing. little creature). someone buys him a nice apron and he wears it with so much delight. chases everyone else out of the kitchen so he can concoct something lovely. runs out into the garden to stick something into an oven in the tardis kitchen because “i am not working with enough ovens, here, people!”. organises the pantry and gets this crazed look if anyone tries to stop him. “how will i know where things a—” “it will be LABELLED.” brandishes a label maker that DEFINITELY is not from modern-day earth given that it seems to take dictation as input and can print in colour and has not needed a refill of paper even though he has extensively labelled EVERY PLASTIC BOX of stuff in the pantry

sometimes he gets into Moods where he needs to solve a problem before it makes his head explode and that used to be a like. tinkering in the tardis thing. where he’d have himself and whatever poor companion he was with just floating in the time vortex for a week while he tries to make this bit of the tardis do what he wants it to. now it’s a day or two spent almost entirely in the kitchen trying to find the scientifically optimal method by which to make meringues. he starts gesturing dramatically with a spatula forgetting it is not a sonic screwdriver. makes a sonic spatula. realises he doesn’t often need to like. scan a pancake for malware. sadly puts the sonic spatula away

he is absolutely a nightmare to watch movies with btw bc a) can’t sit still b) so tall. either he is bouncing his leg and shaking the whole couch or he is stretched out across the entire sofa. no in between. donna buys a thick rug so he can just lay on the floor. the rug is TOO comfortable and he starts just spending time laying on the floor which would be fine if he thought to turn the lights on because people keep almost stepping on him while he’s having 4am Floor Time (on the nights he's not drooling all over donna's pillow)

if anyone else has thoughts about Them PLEASe share i will love you so much and forever. doctor~donna/shaun weirdcule is the only thing in my head

[theycallmequeenie]

Yondu X Reader Part 6

Master List

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6:

A\N: AS always I did not create the Gif I do not posses those skills I used the gif search bar. If you are the creator of any of the gifs I've used and would like to to Gove you proper credit please let me know and I will edit to tag you for the credit. I know I’ve been gone forever and I’m getting flakier and flakier and at this point I’m truly surprised if anyone still follows any of my stories. Again, I apologize the headspace has been utter garbage and I’m fighting as hard as I can to get content written and posted if only, I could get the headspace and the family to cooperate at the same time that would be wonderful. After all that rambling, here’s the story, enjoy and happy reading. 

Yondu began to talk to Y\N trying to calm her anxiety that seemed to spike out of nowhere in the middle of the night taking her hand from his thigh and bringing it up to his lips to place a gentle kiss on the back of it before placing it over his heart.

“Darlin’ I don’t know what’s got you fretting all of a sudden, but I want you to listen to me. As long as that heart right there is beating you ain’t ever gotta worry ‘bout nothin’ getting you in the night. I promise you that.”

Yondu, as gently as he could, pulled Y/N to his chest and slowly rocking her back and forth trying to calm her as quickly as possible. He didn’t know what she may have been through, but he knew it had to have been something terrible to have her this out of sorts from simply being in a different bed than her own. Why hadn’t she realized yet that she and the boy were the two safest ones on that ship as long as he was around. Yondu would rather sacrifice his own life than to ever let either or those two get hurt in any way, shape, or form. 

If Y/N questions, her safety still after being on his crew for this long, could something have happened with them or was this something from her life back on Terra messing with her still? Yondu made a mental note to try and ease her into opening up as to why she had this reaction later when she was actually awake enough to delve into potential past traumas. 

Yondu managed to get her calmed and back to sleep within about an hour of her waking as she had, and it was a restful rest of the night. As the day started it came with the sounding of alarms to wake and get to work on the ship. More maintenance for the ship and caring for Peter he was still young and needed taught the basics or everyday life all be it not the everyday life that was expected by him and Y/N. 

Yondu carefully woke Y/N and handed off her daily Ravager attire of her denim coveralls with the Ravager emblem over the part that rests over her heart and the pants and plain white tee she wore under them. She offered a small smile as she took them and hurried off to the captain’s bathroom to ready herself for the day.

Once dressed she left the captain’s quarters, checked in on Peter, and started on her daily tasks. She did her best to avoid Yondu all day and for the most part she was successful until it came time for the nightly meal. 

Yondu basically cornered her asking her why she had been avoiding him all day to which she tried to get away without responding. She wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened the night before and was going well out of her way to avoid it. She just wasn’t ready for that particular conversation with Yondu. She thought if he knew what caused her to wake the way she did in his bed he would see her as ‘soft’ and that would be the end of their relationship. Something she wasn’t ready for, nor did she want. 

Yondu decided to let her avoid their conversation at that moment but was determined to at least find out what had happened last night that she had woken up so terrified. He left her eat and socialize like she normally would, but he watched her closely. Waiting for her to decide to call it a night and retire to her quarters for the night after making sure the boy was in for the night. Once she had tucked the boy in then Yondu would make his move and get her to talk to him. 

Yondu was waiting outside of Peter’s quarters for Y/N to finish up the boy’s nightly bedtime routine. A fact that Y/N was unaware of until she exited Peter’s room. Upon realizing Yondu was waiting for her startled her which caused her to let out a little yelp of surprise before greeting him.

“You surprised me Cap. Wasn’t expecting you to be lurking just outside the door, Sir.” She spoke barely loud enough to be heard by him and made no efforts to make eye contact. She wasn’t entirely up for the conversation she knew was about to be had but she knew Yondu was like a bulldog with a bone when he wanted answers.

“Well Darlin’, you’ve done an excellent job of avoiding me today and I needed to talk witcha ‘bout las night…” He stopped and gave her a knowing look he had a feeling this was going to be a hard conversation to have with Y/N, but he needed to confirm his theories about his love. Deep down he wanted to be worried over nothing more than a simple bad night but something in his gut told him there was more to it. He really hoped it wasn’t as bad as he feared.

With a sigh Y/N nodded and agreed to talk with him only in his private quarters as to not risk the rest of the crew overhearing the conversation. She motioned to Yondu to lead the way back to his room as she was clearly not in any hurry to have that conversation.

Her childhood was the one thing that she never talked about. It wasn’t a good experience and not something she enjoyed revisiting. It was a harsh reminder that she was damaged goods. A fact her father would remind her of almost daily. Y/N was starting to feel the anxiety build at the thought of telling Yondu what caused that nightmare the night prior. The fear of her father’s words ringing true was weighing heavily on her. What if they were true what if once Yondu finds out about how damaged she was and decided he wasn’t interested in her anymore because the trauma was too much to deal with on top of everything else on his shoulders. What if he agreed with Y/N’s father, that she was in fact completely unlovable…

To Be Continued…

@capitanostella

Part 7

[u3pxx]

✱ frequently asked questions!

hey there, the name’s den/sun! i’m a filipino artist with too many ideas and too little sleep! i mainly post and draw ace attorney and disco elysium with the occasional dungeon meshi drawing. i also like good omens, danganronpa, tmnt 2012, undertale/deltarune, mob psycho 100, splatoon, fairly odd parents: a new wish, haikyuu, and pokemon! :^]c

rest of the faq under read more (because it's very long lol) | dividers from here! | faq will be updated every now and then

what program do you use?

old answer: i use clip studio paint ex! as of 06/24/2023: i use clip studio paint pro v3 for illustrations and clip studio paint v1 ex for animatics

what brush do you use?

old answer: i mainly use the gasa gaya line pen for sketching and the t-pen for both sketching and inking as of 09/22/2023: i use the koya pen for sketching and inking and the gasa gaya line pen for inking occasionally. as of 12/19/2023: i use the a pen that feels like a pencil (鉛筆を感じる液だまりペン) with the pen pressure opacity turned on for sketching (i also use it for inking occasionally). i don’t ink that much right now but i still also use the gasa gaya line pen for it. as of 03/07/2024: i use both the a pen that feels like a pencil (鉛筆を感じる液だまりペン) and calish ink for both sketching and inking. as of 07/08/2024: i use the dry ink brush on clip studio paint.

do you do commissions?

yes, i do! currently closed right now because i’m a student and art school is hard but feel free to take a quick look here if you would be so interested! :^] however, i do occasionally open 2 slots for sketch commissions whenever i’m in need of some money so watch out for that pftt <3

do you sell prints?

yep! i have an inprnt!

where else can we find you?

you can find me both in twitter, Instagram, and art fight! i also have a youtube where i haven’t posted in 4 years pftt

can we use your drawings?

you can use my drawings for profile pictures, banners, even your little tiktok video edits as long as i'm credited (with a link back to my art account, please!) (also if you did do little tiktok edits with my art can you please send them to me i would be so delighted to see them)  just so we’re clear too, i don’t allow reposting of my art on other social media without my permission or credit. thanks!

can you draw [insert thing here]?

i don’t do requests! and usually, when i ask for things to draw, it depends if i’m feeling up to it so sorry if i don’t!

can i draw fanart of your au’s/oc’s?

YES! please, i’d be so dang honored! and please tag me too if you ever post it so i could see it and reblog it here! :^D (and also gush wail cry and scream about it forever and ever)

what does your username “u3pxx” mean?

it’s just my name den upside down, the x’s are because my old selfsona design had x’s for pupils and i wanted to incorporate that.

what does your tag “pampabait” mean?

pampabait (pam‧pa‧ba‧it) is a tagalog word that loosely means “to make [something] kind”, since the prefix “pampa-” is used to denote the causing of a state and “bait” means “kind”! the way i use it is also kind of referencing the phrase "nasisiraan ng bait" (losing one's mind/starting to feel insane). it's just a tag i use for some wholesome stuff i see that would stop me from going I HATE EVERYTHING FORVEVERRRR

have you played all the ace attorney games?

i have not! only because i got into ace attorney via let’s plays, instead. me and some friends are however trying to finish dgs though we haven’t been able to play for a long time pftt. we’re currently still on dgs2-1.

who’s your favorite ace attorney character?

look at me in the eye, boy. wheezes but it is apollo justice, trucy wright, and klavier gavin.

TAG DIRECTORY

✱ GENERAL TAGS

#sunnysidedraws - all of my polished drawings or doodles i consider high-effort #sunnysidedoodles - stuff that i wouldn’t consider polished but hey, they’re cute lmao #sunnysideanswers - all of my answered asks #sunnysiderambles - my general thoughts, rambles, or whatever #sunnysidetutorials - answered asks on how i do certain art stuff of mine #sunnysidelb - liveblogs of whatever i’m watching/reading #sunnysideplays - liveblogs of the games i play (it's just pokemon right now lol) #sunnysidepolls - whatever polls i make up #sunnysidezines - for previews and the finished pieces of all the zines i’ve been in

✱ ART TAG DIRECTORY (in case you just only wanna see the stuff i drew for a specific thing)

#sunnysideattorney - ace attorney art #sunnysideomens - good omens art (includes bad omens) #sunnysidedisco - disco elysium art #sunnysidemeshi - dungeon meshi art #sunnysidepotions - potionomics art #sunnysideprom - monster prom art #sunnysidemons - pokemon art #sunnysidefairies - fairly odd parents: a new wish art #sunnysideball - haikyuu art #den’s gavinners tag - includes all of my gavinners ocs art, rambles, asks i’ve answered about them, and other posts that reminded me of them #den’s aa roleswap au - what it says on the tin, includes my art and also art that others made for the au! :’^D i also have a sideblog specifically for it #den’s bad omens - has all my stuff and art others made for my good omens roleswap au! #disco femlysium - art of fem!harry and fem!kim (and everybody else) #den's disco swap - art of my disco elysium roleswap au #disco meshi au - art of my dungeon meshi au for disco elysium

[bitchy-peachy]

ALL MONEY ASKS GET REPORTED TO STAFF AND BLOCKED.

[mostly queue operated : 10 posts per day]

Extra socials I rarely use:

Bluesky

Tik Tok

(⬇️check before following me.⬇️):

TAGS

[ #noodity and/or #smutty (if you don't want to see artistic nudes or smutty art reblogs. I have a good reason for not tagging these #nsfw)

#spoilers (I tag anything new for any fandom coming out as #spoilers to keep you all spoiler free.)

#fandom, #fandom discourse (if you don't wanna see me complain about fandoms)

#horror, #tw blood, #body horror and #dark art (if you don't want to see fun splatter or spookiness that may be triggering since some people er... don't like it as much as me.)

#personal, #personal pics #ramblings, #rant, #rant in tags, #!!! (if you don't want to see the most random ramblings ever along with pics, long winded tag rants and me boosting things... although I would want you to boost things in the #!!! tag)

As well as #witchy things (if you don't wanna see me talking my "evil hocus pocus" stuff)]

#politics, #news, #SA mention, #true crime are also recommended to blacklist if you don't like such subjects (and my ranting violence at criminals and hating on the injustice system. I'm a huge pig with badges hater especially since I see 97% bad shit)

#me being blasphemous is pretty self explanatory.

Things That Will Get A Block

Associating with people that have hurt me and my friends

Content thieves. Art, fanfiction etc. Plagiarism and art reposts without credits to get attention on yourself with other people's work is a no.

People that start fights over literally nothing. People that are overly reactive and see "something bad" in anything and start drama about it.

Homophobic, transphobic etc people get blocked.

Right wing conservashits and western commie shits (which are just as bad as conservatives) get blocked. I grew up in a conservative family and I've heard your kind of nonsense repeatedly. None of you are creative and bring nothing new to your "arguments" so I see no point in searing my damned eyes with your uninspiring stale bullshit.

Racist twats get blocked. I ain't gotta see your dumbass. Nobody does.

Porn bots, empty accounts, business accounts, weird content that gives me ick (if you don't tag your poop, diaper and piss play, necrophilia, age play, etc... all which I don't want to see and properly filter.)Like I've got weird fictional interests and personal but even I've got my limits and people ain't even tagging it to avoid getting banned in random main tags that has nothing to do with it.

Even at my married grown hag age I've had guys act inappropriately towards me almost immediately after I made the mistake of following them back. Block, reported. I'm too old for that shit.

Don't waste your time sending me asks or DMs asking for money. Some of you spam this shit to the point of becoming overwhelming. Fuck outta my asks and dms with this. You're obnoxious and its too damn much. Tired of having 30 asks begging for money and dms from fake ass accounts asking me for money cos I made the mistake of thinking they were a legimate follower. Sincerely fuck off and away to my block list.

Minors. Like where are your parents? If I find a minor following me, I'll at least do a soft block. Follow me when you're an adult.

If I block you for any of these things you'll probably stay blocked forever unless something happens that it was a misunderstanding etc..

Random Things About Me

[Status: Taken 💍 but we share each other with fictional characters]

[🧿🔮Ecletic Bruja. Some of my stuff is closed practice but I do share generalized info. Just not closed ancestral matters..]

[Horror/Gore movie/book obsessed: I also reblog a lot of dismemberment and innards which explains the #body horror or #tw blood tag.]

[A bit of a classical art snob. I love old art, the darker and more tragic the better. You can find pretty things of this nature as well as fandom fanarts in #art]

[I ain't 100% "politically correct". I can drag both left and right and my politics can fluctuate between center-right or center-left depending the issue. Example: I support the death penalty (as long as there's no reasonable doubt whatsoever. If there is any doubt, cut the bullshit. Especially these racist ass bloody red states that execute innocent people. If you're gonna do this shit be fucking sure first. Also start executing ped0s instead of people that accidentally killed one person in robbery- ok I'm ranting) and abortion. I also support guns but not everyone having them and there being some more restrictions/background checks etc. That was just some examples of my stance on some subjects. (Made bold for emphasis)]

[LGBT+ safe space🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈 (if you don't like that gfy]

[I have writer's block on everything sorry]

[Dark Humor galore💀]

[Perverted Humor galore���]

[🗡 I will only follow back if I like your content and aren't a shitty p0rn bot or some money begging bullshit. I want actual mutuals to interact with and fangirl with, not a bot or a one post blog that only wants money🗡]

[Hablo Español and can understand spoken/read Deutsch and Portuguese]

[My blog is for me. Don't tell me how to run my shit unless you're a masochist.]

[Account is monitored with statcounter]

[anthrubicon]

Masterpost Thing

*please do not send asks seeking support. I use Tumblr to enjoy myself and that just depressed me.*

Welcome! This is the blog in which i'm gonna be making posts about stuff 'n such, including complaining about life or posting the odd sunrise pic or something (but mostly reblogging furry art). This blog is completely sfw, so if i accidentally post/reblog something too spicy here you're legally allowed to kill me. That being said this is still a 15+ blog because there will still be mildly suggestive stuff and other mature topics.

I currently have two side blogs:

@anthrubi-con-artist is where i'll be posting my art (which will be reblogged here anyways so mutuals there's no need to follow there unless you love me forever and ever). The art there is strictly sfw, but can be suggestive.

I'll also post any art that I commission from others there - it's basically an art dump for anything relating to me specifically.

I have an 18+ blog! I don't draw nsfw, but if that ever changes that's where it'll be. But for the moment it's just horny reblogs or just reblogging stuff that shouldn't reach a non-18+ audience. I'm not linking it here because there are minors following this blog, so just send me a dm if you want the link.

I'll use the #rubi rambles tag for general talking into the void, and you can check the art blog for my art. Everything else will just be uncategorised reblogs.

Some more info about me:

Asexual, but still figuring things out.

You can call me Rubi

19y/o, I typically go by he/him but gender is whatever so I don't really care what pronouns you use for me. She/her, they/them, it/its et cetera. Feel free to stick to just one set if you'd rather.

Pianist who loves jazz or anything with good enough chords

Studying electrical and electronic engineering at university

idk i'm boring shoot me ask for literally anything I'm biologically incapable of being offended

Br*tish 😔

It should go without saying, but given the recent state of this website I feel the need to clarify that this is a safe space for trans people, and no hate will be tolerated towards anybody (not just trans people).

[ember-owlet]

whistles innocently

so. idk if this counts as a request bc I'm requesting something though it's not a request for content from you... butttt!

if you were to, say, want a gift of some medium, of a character from arcane or resident evil, which characters would you like the most and what's ur preferred hc for them... and what type of content would you want for said character(s)....

mhmm, i have about 80% confidence that i know who this is /lh /silly

and not to worry!! this isn't counted as a request, while they're closed i love to chat! regardless this is such a sweet ask thank you so much for asking me firelight (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

to answer, from either arcane or resident evil here are my faves, i hope i don't sound too greedy with this list, but here are some of my favorites from each fandom with some extra rambles:

(and please don't hesitate to reach out if you need clarification/additional questions, i was so excited i typed through this without much proofreading,, and if you need any other ideas the #ember's babies is that tag that i use for my fictional blorbos ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚)

arcane:

caitlyn:

flip! w/ a pretty balanced lean except for when she's with vi, then she's mostly the caregiver in their dynamic!! my girl forever n ever n ever. never knew it was possible for a character to be so mama and babygirl coded at the exact same time.

gosh. anything made with her i eat up in seconds!! mama, baby, give me all of it!! though if possible, i'd love to see her with more paci edits/regression content. let my girl be baby!!

vi

flip! w/ a regressor lean around caitlyn. that's her puppy!!! i think we can all agree that she takes care of the people around her so much that i need to see a reverse of her feeling safe and taken care of. i love her so much and honestly? her upcoming spiral to wet dog pipeline is valid get that girl a paci STAT. vi gives me so much cuteness aggression its unbelieveable.

this is just for me and incredibly niche but i'd love to see more content of vi with a softer/warmcore canine aesthetic. specifically with larger breeds of dogs.

hear me out: caitlyn in a sweater drinking a warm cup of tea while she runs her hands along her pups hair while vi rests her head in her lap??? oh i'm ill (/pos) she always puts on such a brave front it makes me wanna wrap her in a warm blanket sooooo badly.

ekko

regressor. and he's scar's kid. a baby boy through and through. i almost never talk about him but i really want to with upcoming posts because he's honestly one of the best characters in the series. i love his desire to help people and the way that he takes absolutely no nonsense from anyone around him and calls them out for it is everything, and i REALLY hope he gives caitlyn and vi a wake up call for their actions. so far he's truly done no wrong in the series so and i stand by it!!

anything with him being a regressor would make me happy, he's such a cutie patootie. and ekko with solar punk/core aesthetics>>>

cassandra

flip! with a caregiver lean!! i made an entire post about her but its honestly not enough. she has been my mama and will continue to be my mama despite canon. the reveal that she had helped to create the filtration system in zaun to help the citizens breathe?? and seeing caitlyn use her mother's wishes against them? man. that hurt.

i've been meaning to write headcanons for her but i think she barely regresses around anyone that she doesn't have complete trust in and even then she rarely does it out of embarassment. however, she is a baby to me.

that being said, any caregiver content with her i owe you my life. /lh

resident evil

donna beneviento. that's it that's the post /j

a flip! through and through. she is one of my most beloveds and i think most of the immediate people in my life have heard their fair share of rambles with her.

honestly anything with her i will be an absolute puddle, especially when its related to fics with hurt/comfort or her just being a caregiver since most of my personal daydreaming scenarios involve her in some way.

again, this is just me but i love activities with her where we're cooking/dancing in the kitchen together so if you're alright with that i would be over the moon to see it.

the dimitrescu sisters

do not separate them!! ever!! /lh /j

all three are my big sister cgs and i wouldn't trade that for the world. they are my goofballs and i adore them!!

if its ever possible (and i know it is because i am manifesting a genius out there to do it) i would love to see content of all three of them taking care of a regressor throughout different periods of the day (ex. in the morning they're taken to bela to practice piano, then with cassandra for practice with hunting, and then to dani to work on academics with alcina since you both need it /lh)

[vriska]

everyone in the togachako tags you are all feeding me and I am nodding my head along because oh my god these two are rotating in my head nonstop, there is just something so visceral, so heartwrenchingly familiar in the way Ochako is desperately reaching out to Toga who thought she had to turn her back on the rest of the world because they rejected her first

AND YET!! and yet the one girl who Toga both idolized and envied is finally reaching back out to her, she is going to bridge that gap and make that connection that Toga has wanted for so, so long and I know its fuckin wishful thinking but the way the entire thing is framed, its about feelings and love/romance, Ochako wants to embrace and understand Toga's 'love', the same way that young women who don't know they're gay yet but can't put a name to the way they're feeling might react when confronted by another girl who *is* more openly gay.

The initial confusion that Toga incited in Ochako, followed by the fact that despite the confusion and fear and maybe even mild disgust, is replaced by fascination. "I can't get you out of my head/I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we met"

All of it leading up to the fact that Ochako realized during their last confrontation, when she saw Toga's tears, her pain, she realized this was not just another villain... Toga is just another girl, like her, and Ochako not once tried to understand her before this, she was confronted by something she didn't understand and she fled from it, and now she is ready to face it, ready to open herself up to Toga and the love Toga has

She is beaten to hell, stabbed and bleeding, and she is never going to let Toga go again, she will not run from Toga OR her feelings, she will face Toga not as a hero, but as HERSELF, just another girl, she will be selfish in this moment if it means she can right the wrong she did and she is willing to devote the rest of her LIFE!!! TO TOGA!! if the whole world will be against her, Ochako will be right there with her, telling her that her smile is still beautiful even without knowing just how deeply those words must hit Himiko

I can keep rambling forever and ever, especially about just the INCREDIBLE fucking expressions Hori draws and how much you can just FEEL looking at them, saying even more than just their words but this post has already gotten away from me and basically fellow togachako's i see u, im one of u, come say hi the brainrot is unending and I'm glad we're all waking up to this fucking feast of content to fuel us

[txxfiles]

give me all the fics where the boys kiss

Hi! It looks like I'm week 3!

I honestly have no idea idea what im doing really but i guess you'll just have to listen to me ramble about something i enjoy. Seems to fit the theme we've accidentally settled on and well! if theres one thing im good at rambling about its bl fanfiction. i read ALOT of fanfiction. like 13million words worth of it in 2023 alone (an estimate but i did the ugly math for jan and feb last year and id already read 2.7 million words so i dont think its too high an estimate).

ive read fics from too many fandoms to count and also have way more hyperfixations then any one person has a right too but the one that has owned my ass consistently for the last 4 years is The Untamed otherwise know as Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS).

The lovely Eucalyptus from week 2 was watching the untamed during covid (and holy shit what a wild ride that was) and the next thing I know im neck deep drowning in fan art and tiktok edits of beautiful chinese men that have no business being as talented as they are (Im looking at u Wang Yibo) This. shit. fucked. up. my. life.

then i turned to my good friend AO3 (love of my life i could not exist without you) and 4 years later ive read my tags dry. if its complete, ive read it. im getting desperate and ive started reading works in progress, yikes. its so risky i honestly cannot tell you how much anxiety it gives me. ive been burnt too many times.

HOWEVER

this does mean if you need a fic recommendation then your girl has got you covered, so i figured i would share with you my TOP SIX fic recommendations. im sorry i tried to make it 5 but i just couldnt do it.

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner & sundiscus 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 71,479 words - Complete

Omg. Wangxian Startrek AU. The pining, the miscommunication. I felt every range of emotion on this roller-coaster. I literally printed this out so that I could keep it forever. I wish I could read it for the first time all over again. This Fic hit AO3 like a comet. It even has it’s own Tumblr thread! Also comes with stunning fanart.

Paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 53,808 words - Complete

Modern Day AU, Musician/Single dad Lan Wangji falls in love with his son’s Art Teacher Wei Wuxian. I swear it's one of the cutest stories ever written, makes me feel all the good things. A-yuan is adorable and wangxian are hot and charming. The Ultimate wangxian comfort fic. 

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller 

Jin Rulan & Wei Wuxian - 63,907 words - Complete

Jin Ling fishes his Da-Ju out of the gutter post canon (Literally dying alone in a dirty inn, Wei Wuxian it's been 5 minutes pls) and decides if no one else is gonna keep him then he damn well will. 

It is perfect.  

Junior Quartet goodness, Yunmeng bro reconciliation and Jin Ling being a boss bitch little shit that has no time for anyone's bullshit. I cried as much as Jin Ling did in this story – which is alot. (Also another story ive made myself a solid copy of that i can love forever)

Joy In The Mindst of These Things by Glitterbombshell 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 52,901 words - 5 Works

TEACHER WEI WUXIAN! I love this trope with my whole soul. Lots of adorable baby Lans, I would kill for them. Beautifully written. Lan Qiren gets a much needed wakeup call. Last story is incomplete but can be read without the 5th installment. SO WORTH IT, ive read it like 10 times

The One-Body Problem by mitisket 

Lan Jingyi & Wei Wuxian - 28,689 words - Complete

Well shit. How many times have a reread this story? I honestly couldn't tell you. Jingyi gets possessed by Wei Wuxian’s very tired soul pre canon and it changes nothing and yet everything. Their friendship gives me life and Jingyi fixes a lot of problems for his new bestie/mentor/uncle with his big mouth. Mom I love him 

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 277,225 words - Complete

The best Zombie Apocalypse au on the MDZS tag honestly. There are so many good zombie film references in this one, i see you Train to Busan. Baby junior quartet, a perfect Wei Wuxian modern day depiction and so much love, angst and stress. It's delicious and I've never recovered.  

All of these fics are actually part of a mother document i made last week of all my favourite fics organised by tag because apparently thats what i do with my free time. hit me up if you need a rec!

Now that ive gotten that off my chest i'll let you be lol. maybe I'll do a rec for a different fandom next time. I definitely have enough to choose from!

Lots of Love,

Iris

[dead-air888]

!!! Introduction post !!!

Updated Jan 22, 2024

Hey y'all!!! I really just reblog, occasionally tagging on a funny comment or ramble or some shit

I reblog things pertaining to

- abolishing capitalism

- Politics (world and US, where I'm from)

- LGBTQIA2S+

- Disability (both mental and physical)

- Otherkin/Alterhuman, occasionally therian

- resources

- The Magnus Archives (and Protocol!!)

- Good Omens

- a ton of other shit I can't think of rn (I am so eepy), but I'll add if I can remember

I use all pronouns, including all neopronouns!! You can call me Jay or Jas (pronounced j-ASS), or if you find me through Otherkin/Alterhuman means, feel free to call me Hael (or any of the previous names :)

I'm 18, Aro/Ace and Gender Non-Conforming. I also have AuDHD, and am looking at getting an OCD diagnosis, as well as seeing if I have a dissociative disorder.

I'm far-left, and consider myself a socialist, although I'm much more concerned with what's going on in the world rather than my political label. I believe Palestine, Congo, Sudan, And so so many other countries deserve to be free, and live without colonialist rule. I also believe Capitalism should be abolished here in the US, and in LandBack.

I believe in prison abolition, community, and free healthcare.

Basically, if you're wondering what my thoughts are on something even slightly political, just think of the farthest left thing you can, and that's probably where I stand.

Gods, I could really go on forever, but I'll try and wrap it up.

As far as Alterhuman labels go, I usually use:

- Fallen Angelkin

-Space/Divinekin

- Canine and Feline Cladotherian (I'm basically just one big animal lol)

- probably a shit ton of others I'll add later lol

I'm proud to be cringe, I'm pagan, I'm a furry, I'm trying to go vegetarian??? Idk, I'm running out of things to say 😭😭

If you ever message or reblog something of mine and are expecting an answer, know that it might take a while (messaging online freaks me tf out). I have severe anxiety and texting is awful, or I might've just not realized that your comment/reblog warranted a response.

I use tone-tags, and would appreciate it very much if you could while you're interacting with me also.

Feel free to ask questions in the comments or in my dm's :) /gen

So eepy. Bedtime. Will update if/when needed 👌👌

[theprismaticvoid]

(thoughts about my previous reblog bc it ended up being too long for tags and I was too shy to make this tangentially-related ramble a reply)

A big part of the issue with criticism of the Modern Backrooms, at least that I've seen, is that there's not often really direct criticism of what's wrong with the newer content beyond just saying "Trying to add more to the concept of the Backrooms makes it less scary" a million different times and ways (I've seen one post talking about a specific article about a sentient rubber duck that really sucked, but that was really it in terms of criticizing specific things about it). It gets to a point where it just feels very "NEW THING BAD" circlejerk-y forever and ever and ever.

I say this as someone who's not even a huge fan of the Backrooms, I've seen some of the found-footage videos and I have some vague ideas about levels and monsters and stuff through seeing people retweet fanart, and millions of posts about how the concept has been ruined.

The friend I reblogged it from made a good point in their tags about how the people complaining about how modern Backrooms sucks could 100% just make their own content that's more to their liking, but they'd rather complain that it's "not good anymore" in vague ways that both don't act as constructive criticism and don't produce better content directly.

The thing is like, if you hate EVERYTHING that's not the original “yellow room with the vague implication of a monster” concept, you can just go back and experience that? Nothing's stopping you from seeing the original 4chan post and the first few found-footage videos that kept strictly to the premise of the original - and if you want more, it quickly runs into the problem of "there's only so much you can do with a giant yellow room and only the vaguest insinuation that there might be a monster in there".

The whole concept of what made the original Backrooms scary, both never getting to see what (if anything) is actually there with you, and being stuck in an endlessly-repeating environment with nothing beyond moldy carpet and fluorescent lights for always and always and always, also makes it extremely difficult to put any interesting spin on without having to add something new.

There's only so many ways you can have a random person glitch into the backrooms, walk around for a while, run away from something, and then either die or glitch back into reality, before it becomes completely dull and uninteresting.

Another thing about the comparison to SCP is that, since a lot of people only came into the fandom after Containment Breach or another fangame, they aren't familiar with the very early history of SCP - while a lot of the early SCPs have some damn good horror, it wasn't ALWAYS like that. Tons and tons of very early SCP content was culled from the wiki for being terrible - self-insert OCs, things meant to pander to the artist's fetish, there was an honest to god "toilet that eats your butt if you sit on it" for a while (and not the Butt Ghost joke SCP, but an actual main-list one that was genuinely meant to be creepy/interesting, not funny).

SCP has some extremely good content - but only because it's had years upon years of bad articles either being entirely scrapped, or rewritten by a completely different author or the original author once they've had time to better hone their skills. And even then there are still some duds that are boring/uninteresting/terrible (Homestuck-obsessed Tumblr user alien satellite cannon that crytypes about how it's a horrible person, anyone? Or pretty much anything I've read that involves Gamers Against Weed/Are We Cool Yet)

The point I'm trying to make is, of course there's some bad content in the modern Backrooms fandom. It's still extremely new, it's popular with mostly kids and teens who are probably still learning how to write, and the concept as a whole is still trying to find out what it wants to be.

I'm just trying to say - if you love the concept of the Backrooms, try to be a positive influence over it instead of instantly going "THIS IS ALL GARBAGE AND CHILDREN RUINED THE CONCEPT THE MOMENT THEY TRIED TO MAKE IT ANYTHING BUT MOLDY CARPET AND YELLOW WALLPAPER, SO STOP HAVING FUN!!!".

Give polite constructive criticism, find things that work (or could work with a little tweaking) and point to them as examples of what you think the Backrooms should be, even write your own content if you think you can do better.

It's not like there's some sort of monolithic Backrooms Foundation that hands down the articles from on high and you never get to question them, suggest improvements, or add to them ever. It's just a loosely-connected web of fans trying to flex their creative muscles and have fun.

I don't know, I don't want to be all "modern internet culture bad", but with the state of things, I wonder if popular older creepypastas like Slenderman could've ever taken off in this kind of climate. I can't help but think that if something like that had started today we'd get millions of angry people on Reddit saying that Slenderman was only good when he was a completely-unexplained creepy guy who showed up in the background of photographs.

I can very easily see an alternate timeline where Marble Hornets was immediately written off as kiddy garbage that doesn't respect the lore and ruined Slenderman because he doesn't act right - "Why isn't he leaving organs in plastic bags? He's only supposed to show up as faceless on cameras and he looks like a normal person to anyone who sees him with their own eyes! WHY AREN'T YOU ADDRESSING HOW HE'S A GERMAN FAIRY???"

I don't really have a concrete resolution to this post or a point at the end of it, idk. Just my two cents on the issue.

[elshells]

WIP Playlist Tag

Thank you so much for the tag, @writernopal! Check out her post here.

Tagging: @mariahwritesstuff, @e-klair, @dragonedged-if, @tisiphonewolfe, @ryns-ramblings, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @damnitmyradio, @bitchin-beskar

Rules: List at least 4 songs from your current WIP playlist, or just a writing playlist you’ve been using lately, and the lyrics that speak to you the most!  Then tag at least 4 people or as many songs as you listed. Let’s spread the inspiration! 

WIP: Agent Ace (and the Harmont Heroes series in general) I couldn't decide on only four songs, and in most cases, I couldn't choose just one set of lyrics. Oops!

What's Up Danger - Black Caviar and Blackway —'Cause I like high chances that I might lose / I like it all on the edge just like you ayy / I like tall buildings so I can leap off of 'em /I go hard wit' it no matter how dark it is

Break In - Halestorm —You let me fall apart without letting go / Then you pick up the pieces / And you make me whole —Yeah, it's perfectly reckless / Damn, you leave me defenseless / So, break in

Goodbye - Ramsey —I can hear the sound of a heartbeat before it goes out / Won't ever leave my memory of bloodshed all around —Be still, 'cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands —Where is my home? / I don't recognize the faces anymore, no / Where is my friend? / The one I've known since I was only just a kid

Survivor - Destiny's Child (Tomb Raider cover by 2WEI) —Thought it would be over by now / But it won't stop / Thought that I would self destruct / But I'm still here

Monster Inside - Give Heart Records —Just take one look in my eyes / You'd see right through my disguise —When I fell apart / Yeah, something changed in my heart / As you can tell from these scars / I'm not the man that you knew before

Far From Never - The Pretty Reckless —All the things you've said / Made it harder to breathe / When I was lying on the floor / I couldn't believe you wouldn't save me / But you blame me —The fire just died / It's gone forever, and the chance to live our lives / It's gone forever

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana —Load up on guns, bring your friends /It's fun to lose and to pretend —I'm worse at what I do best / And for this gift, I feel blessed / Our little group has always been / And always will until the end

Hate - Plush —My eyes are distorted / From the lies that you've spoken / I scream / But I feel nothing / It's unreal —I hate everything about you / I hate myself for hanging on

[bookwyrminspiration]

i just finished stellarlune and i need to make up for the time i lost not hitting the “view post” button on your posts tagged as stellarlune spoilers so. ramble at me if you want. gonna go scroll your blog forever and ever now

I saw all the notifs from you scrolling my blog; did you have fun? Did you have a good time? I hope so! Anyway, I have no idea what I'm going to end up rambling about so we're about to find out together.

I feel as though both so much and nothing at all happened. And also that it was all thrown at me very quickly. When I was making the timeline there were two points where several days pass at once (there's a week taken to prepare for the Trix meeting we don't see, and Sophie goes through several days stalling for her confession) so that likely contributes to it. And I can't help but feel it's a bit jarring.

Reading through (at least the first time, that may change with rereads) it felt like we'd skipped a step or two to get to where we were. Sophie started going off about Elysian and power sources and I was sitting there like girl slow down what are you saying.

I think my overall conclusion is that this is the sokeefe book. Not in the sense that this is the book where sokeefe went canon, though that's true as well, but as in this book exists for and is dedicated to the arc of sokeefe. That was it's primary focus start to finish, from Ro's teasing and the letter in the beginning to the kiss at the end. Sophie was focused on it and thinking about it, so we couldn't get away from it, even though there were other things peppered throughout. And I think that's why it's kinda meh to me at the moment. I don't dislike it, but it's dedicated to something I don't happen to care much about.

I can understand why it was done, as this has been something building up for the better part of a series and does take more time to address, but even with a whole book focues on it sokeefe somehow still felt rushed. Truly incredible how that happened. But either way, Stellarlune is intended for an audience with different interests than mine--which is totally fine! I loved Unlocked (and still do), while many in the fandom hated it when it came out. I'm not saying it's bad, just that it's not my favorite :)

I don't have a copy of Stellarlune with me at the moment (my dad's borrowing it) so I'm probably forgetting to touch on things but like. This felt like a very character focused book, and with a limited number of characters. Even with everything else that happened in the book, that's what left the biggest impression.

Oh! Rayni! I can touch on her! To be 100% honest my first reaction was "..Rayni??? that's your name?" Something about it caught me of guard. I was very satisfied to see the tribunal from book one come back around, as I hadn't expected it to. And I do appreciate the idea of someone going through similar hardships to the rest of the kotlcrew and turning to the Neverseen instead. That part about how the Neverseen got to her first or however it went? Chef's kiss. I absolute love that idea and her connection to the Neverseen, it being her only option and all that. Rayni herself? I'm still warming up to her, but I do enjoy having her around and am pleased to know more about her, even though it seems a little late to be adding in completely new characters to the books.

OH and Elysian. Can also talk about that too! I've said it before and I'll say it again: Stellarlune feels like the first half of an arc, so I don't want to judge it until I read the next book and see how it plays out. That being said, what. What is going on. This has been planned from book one, apparently, but it also feels completely out of left field. There's a power source and it's a person? This person is their world's best kept secret? There's so much going on in that that without the full information I don't think i can nearly get into it the way I want to. Do they power the Lost Cities? Do they control it all from behind? They like, turned of people's abilities, so do they grant abilities to elves? Are they where abilities come from? Who, what, when, where, why, how? Elysian raises so many questions and I can't ask them because I don't have the info to ask the right questions!

I'll just say one more thing: Sophie is. a lot right now. She got on my nerves this book, but I also can't blame her for it because she's 14 (15 in elven years). I can completely understand why she acts the way she does but it also makes me want to shake some sense into her like please please please think about things and stop yelling at people who are trying to help you. But being 14 fills you with rage so like, i get it even if oof.

Anyway those are some of the impressions this book left on me and I am so so curious to read the next one because I need answers. I need to know. I gotta know what's been cookin in Shannon's brain for the last 14 years.

[leahseclipse]

I posted 142 times in 2022

14 posts created (10%)

128 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@leahseclipse

@leahblackk

@simibraun

@imagining-in-the-margins

@mydirtyvalentine

I tagged 40 of my posts in 2022

#lexies favs - 6 posts

#aot - 4 posts

#snk fic - 4 posts

#criminal minds - 4 posts

#stranger things - 3 posts

#stranger things fic - 3 posts

#cm fic - 3 posts

#aot fic - 3 posts

#spencer reid - 3 posts

#snk - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 58 characters

#he's so fucking pretty i nearly cried at work making these

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Marry me (Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader)

Warnings: talks of hospital, car crash, blood and wound mentions (no major character death)

Summary: A car crash turns everything into a nightmare. (Based off episode 18 and 19 of S7 of grey's anatomy)

A/N: It's a bit of a random post, but I remembered I had wrote that fic for @imagining-in-the-margins 's wedding challenge, so why not post it! It's really a no beta we die like men in here, so there might be some mistakes. This was based off @fortheloveofwonderland 's prompt 🤗

Word count: 3.7k

As soon as the occasion presented itself, Emily and Y/N did not hesitate a single second to spend the weekend together, far from their home. Windows rolled down, their hands glued together as Emily had the other on the steering wheel, they couldn’t stop freaking out about the simple concept of ‘vacation’.

“How did this even happen? You never get days off. I can’t believe your phone hasn’t started ringing. This is insane.” Y/N moved her right arm around as she spoke.

“Right? I can’t believe it either. It’s been… months.” Emily said.

“We finally have a weekend to ourselves.”

“Just us and the little one.” she said, briefly looking at her when the road was empty. "Let’s enjoy the final weeks before she never lets us rest again.”

“You said it,” she sighed. “We’re going to fuel ourselves with coffee.”

Emily doesn’t answer to that, eyes on the road.

“Is something wrong, Em?”

She blinked, “No, I just… spaced out for a second. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay. That happens. Did you…” Y/N started to say, but the buzz of her phone stopped her. “Oh… He found out.”

“What?”

“Reid. About the… prank we did on him, that’s not going to be good when we come-” she rambled, before Emily yanked her phone out of her grasp; throwing it somewhere behind. Probably in the back seats, not that it matters. Emily wanted this phone away. “What was that?”

“Can you just… this time is for us. You see him all the time, so do I, but he's not here now! It’s just us.”

“Come on, he was just texting. I wasn’t going to stay on my phone all day.” she argued, “I gotta text back at least.” then unbuckles her seatbelt to turn around.

“What are you doing?” Emily yelled.

With her phone in her hand, she yelled back, “I’m answering the text! Calm down, he’s not getting more time than you with me.”

“You make me sound like I’m acting jealous, or something.”

“Are you?” Y/N asked, eyes on her phone.

“It’s kind of difficult not to be when you talk about Spencer so often.”

“He’s my best friend, am I not allowed?” she asked, defensively. Taking a breath, she looked away from her phone. “I am giving all my time to our couple, you, and the human growing inside of me, so I am allowed to do other things, like talk to my friend, just for a minute.” Then she stopped talking. Went back to her phone, and the car was as silent as ever.

It’s never been that silent.

They’ve never been so pissed off at each other, they’ve swore to stop when they had to, calm down and apologize.

There wasn’t any apology.

Just the light sound of y/n’s fingertips hitting the screen. That was pretty much it.

“Marry me.”

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48 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

#4

Nothing ever lasts forever | E.M

STRANGER THINGS 4 VOL 2 SPOILERS

Pairing: Eddie Munson x gen!reader

Warnings: Death of important character, death mention, possible light mentions of s1-s4 pt1, graphic details

A/N: I'm sobbing too

It's been hard.

Incredibly hard without you around. I can't believe this isn't some dream, or hell, Vecna taking me in a very long trance. I wished it would be that for a while.

That, just a moment, it wouldn't be true. That you would just be there again. That I would still be in your room, surrounded by the heavy metal music, the scent of cigarettes, and your arms around me. The warmth of your body, and your breath tickling my skin as you kissed me.

I don't think I will ever love someone the way I loved you. I don't think anyone could ever make me feel like you did. I feel like a void every since that day, I stopped crying because I don't have anything left in me, I'm pretty sure I cried all the water I had.

For a moment, I waited the moment where I'd feel your fingers wipe my tears away. You would always do that whenever I cried, and now a stupid tissue has to replace you.

I won't see you again.

That's why I have to accept. But I don't want to, I don't think I can. I've known you for too long that I'm not sure I'm able to live without you.

You were one of my best friends, we've gone through hell and back together, almost died a couple times, but we've made it out, together. Every time.

You were supposed to have made it out. You weren't supposed to leave me standing all alone. Neither the others.

Having to see Dustin's smile disappear when he saw me come out the portal alone was the worst thing I've ever have to witness. I held him as he sobbed uncontrollably, as I told him what you told me before dying.

If everything goes back to normal after this, I promise we won't split up the Hellfire club. I will fight for it to stay, it cannot be shutdown. It's what you dedicated part of your life to.

I never understood a thing in the game, but I still came everytime, sitting with a book in the corner while I heard you and the others scream for hours. I stayed each time to put back everything in place, and walked out of the school with you.

Now, it'll probably stay empty for a while. The school might be closed for a bit, and the news didn't make it easy. They've promoted the club as a 'satanic cult', and everyone probably believed that.

If only they knew what this club meant. All the people in it, the memories, the bond we shared. It wasn't just a club, but also a family. You made sure everyone felt welcome there.

You took Dustin, Mike and Lucas under your wing when no one else did. They grew with you, became more confident, because you kept telling them to not care about others. To simply be yourself, because trying to be like someone else was 'completely and utterly ridiculous'.

We were sort of like... Parents for them. We looked after them as much as we could. Tried to protect them from everyone who tried to hurt them.

I would've almost kicked Jason in the face for harassing you if it wasn't for Steve separating us.

It took time for you to like him, you two have had fights before, but then the whole Vecna thing happened, and it somehow brought you closer.

He's been the one that's been checking up on me these last days, trying to bring me out and change my mind.

He's sort of saved me, I was doing kind of badly in my room, blinds closed, wearing the same clothes. I was a mess, yeah. I can admit that.

I can see it's hard on him too, but he doesn't show it. He's always been the type to keep things to himself, especially when others had problems. He preferred to comfort rather than be comforted.

Talking about comforting, I talked to your uncle with Dustin, the other day. He really cared about you, always believed you were innocent from the start, no matter what everyone said. He loved you, truly.

I'll make sure to visit him from time to time, we'll look after him, don't worry.

About the others, well, Mike and Eleven reunited, Nancy and Jonathan as well, Lucas ended up fine, but Max didn't.

She died, and then she came back. Ever since, she's been in a coma. No one knows if and when she'll wake up. We can just hope for the best, that's all we can do, unfortunately.

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52 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

#3

2AM (Spencer Reid x gen!reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender neutral Reader (there might be some very light fem!reader mentions)

Category: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: none I can think of!

Summary: The reader locked themselves out of their apartment out of the middle of the night, but a certain genius living down the hall might be able to help.

A/N: Excuse me if Spencer is OOC lmao it's been a WHILE since I wrote about him. Prompt is from @imagining-in-the-margins!! :)

Word count: 1.9k

There couldn't have ever been a day worse than this one, in my whole existence— not one that made me want to give up, go to my apartment and never go back to my workplace ever again.

First off- I arrived late. I didn't turn on my alarm the day before, and woke up at 8AM instead of 7AM.

One hour isn't a big deal, you would say. Well sure,  for a high schooler. 

I had to give that lame excuse, and well… they didn't believe it— everyone throws that one, so it gets old. I've had to work like hell all day to make up for the hour I've missed as if it was one week to my superior (the guy's a bit dramatic).

Second; on my way home, my car decided to stop two times. The little guy decided to play the old trick of the dying engine— turns out a bang on it is enough to stop that drama queen. It's really time I throw it away, I've had it since college. That car is lucky I wasn't on the freeway, I would have gotten yelled at for blocking the road.

Then— because the day didn’t stop there, one of the back tires ended up dying just as I found a parking spot. Here's to another-I-don't-know-the-high-price-of-it-repair off my bank account … as if I needed another bad event.

The finishing touch was when it started raining, and of course, I had forgotten my jacket this morning. Which meant that I had to walk in the rain because running would cause me to break an arm and end up in the ER with another-very-unknown-high-price. 

By the time I got to the door of the building, it was around 2AM. I had to get up in 5 hours. Pretty great amount of sleep for the next day waiting for me.

I didn't even bother to check if the elevator worked. It worked one time out of two and could guarantee you a whole night of sleep inside if the doors would decide to not open. 

I've already been there, except it was the afternoon. I watched at least two movies of two hours each before a technician even bothered to show up.

When I reached the fourth floor, and proceeded to put my hand in my left pocket where I always keep my keys— my hand didn't touch anything but the fabric. 

That's… weird? Maybe it's in the others? 

I plunged my hand in the right pocket, still nothing. I tried both of the pockets at the back— they were as empty as a bank account at the end of the month (trust me, I truly wasn't in the mood for jokes, but that just went through my mind).

I really started to panic after my unsuccessful attempts to find the keys in the pockets of my pants, they're always there! I haven't put them anywhere else in years.

I set my bag on the floor, took my flashlight and examined the whole bag— to the point of emptying it out on the floor out of despair, just in case I had missed it by whatever means— still no sign of them.

There wasn't any way I could have left it at work. I didn't open my bag a single time, all I did was re-organise files as soon as I arrived. I only touched my bag again when I left. It was in my locker, which was closed by a lock— so they couldn't have been stolen, lost, or whatever crazy scenario.

The only place left… right inside of my apartment. I had just locked myself outside at 2:30AM. Right when everything was closed. I could only hope my landlord could pick up, which wasn't 100% sure by looking at the hour.

Still, I took my phone again and dialed the number, just in case he happened to pick up.

I called once.

Twice.

Then soon, five times… all calls had gone straight to voicemail.

He wouldn't be answering until 8AM in the morning, which was impossible. I couldn't stay all night outside. 

I started to get really upset, I had no way to get in, I've just had the worst day, I was really tired, I was cold and just wanted to change into dry clothes; this had to be a nightmare. I was cursing myself for forgetting the keys this morning as hard as I could, I couldn't believe I could have forgotten them, they were right there, on the table next to the door.

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74 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#2

If I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get him to swap our places | E.M

Pairing : Eddie Munson x gen ! reader

Warning : ST4 VOL2 SPOILERS, possible mentions of graphic details, coma, BUT it ends well, it's a fix-it fic !!

Summary : After the recent traumatic events, Eddie has ended up in the hospital and fell into a come. Reader visits everyday, in hopes he'll wake up.

A/N : yes I needed to do that after what happened 🥲 this is my apology for the other fic LMAO @smalluniversecollector

W/C: 1.3k

It marks one month since Eddie hasn't opened his eyes, today. One whole month without him.

Without the sound of his voice.

Without moving his arms in all directions like a sugar - high toddler.

Without the sound of his guitar playing.

He's just been there, laying in this bed, doing nothing else. I just wish he was awake.

Without the smell of whatever thing he'd smoke.

A month without all of those things. I have to admit, it feels empty, not having those in my life. It's like the world doesn't make sense now that it doesn't have him to fill it.

He's just been there, laying still, doing nothing. We probably couldn't have gone out of the upside down without injuries, so I just wished he had something that wouldn't keep him so long at the hospital at least.

I wish Eddie wouldn't be the one going through this. I've been feeling so guilty with my sprained wrist, it's nothing compared to what he has, and I wish we could've swapped places. I love him so much that I would do that for him.

But again , he'd be the one worried to death , just like I am right now. The one that wouldn't be in a coma would still suffer in some way.

I just wish we would just have something that wasn't bad at least. I wish he'd be there with me, and that we'd just have to laugh about a stupid sprained wrist and something else kind of broken, but not fatal for him. He'd play non-stop with his crutches if he had to have those.

We'd switch between his house, my house, Dustin's, we wouldn't stop moving around.

If only that was the only thing that happened. I wouldn't be here, sitting all day, hoping he wakes up.

"You know, I actually knew you before." Eddie said.

"You did?" I asked, surprised.

"In elementary school. You probably don't remember, because we weren't even in the same class. We never talked. I was... Much quieter before, the quiet type that wouldn't have the courage to tell he liked someone. I always watched you, from time to time. I still liked you, even with your bad haircut."

"That one was horrendous! How did you still like me?"

"I guess I just really loved you. And I will always love you, even if you get a messed up haircut."

If only Eddie saw what I did to my hair. I couldn't stay with this upside-down-monster-blood on my hair, even if I'd wash it, and it reminded me too much of what happened— so I just cut it off myself.

It's grown a bit since, but everyone can still see how badly cut it is.

But he won't care, probably. He'll still somehow find me pretty, in some way, even if I have no idea how. I'll probably mess with him a bit, it's funny when he goes into attorney mode to defend his case.

I hope he has nice dreams, at least. I don't want him to be trapped constantly in a nightmare. It's best if he dreams of hellfire, moments we had in the cafeteria, when we smoked under the bleachers, or when we skipped school because we didn't want to go to science.

That's what I want him to dream about.

As I got up from the chair, taking my stuff, I approached his bed and took his hand in mine. He still felt warm, he wasn't gone.

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89 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you // S.H

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Warnings: light mentions of ST s1-s4 events

Summary: With the help of the kids, Steve secretly organised a proposal to you.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: just thought this would be cute 🤩👍 sorry if it's kinda long and bad 💀

Steve could not express how much stress he had been feeling the last few days, between trying not to get caught, not to seem too suspicious, make sure the kids would do the same, try to spend time with you so you wouldn't worry— he was a mess inside. 

But he didn't care.

He wanted to organize the most beautiful proposal he could do for you, he wanted you to remember it forever. 

So... he asked for help to the only people he knew: kids. Except for Robin, and Nancy, but they were outnumbered compared to these children. 

Besides, you liked them a lot. Steve thought that if you were to have any type of celebration, you'd want them here. They counted a lot for you two, you've known them ever since the incident that happened with Will— when you were in highschool with Jonathan.

And that's when you met the famous Steve Harrington. Famous was a good word to use, because he was. With his great hair, great face, personality and his 'keg king' title, who couldn't love this guy? 

As for you, you were just a sort of outcast, hanging out with Jonathan in the corner and developing pictures with him in the red room between classes, the kind of people no one would pay attention to— you two were considered freaks. But you never really mind, you were fine with this lifestyle. 

But people like Steve, Carol and Tommy would just have probably laughed at you, approaching them would only earn you a bullying session. 

Therefore, you just stayed there, watching him from a distance. Jonathan always told you to stay away from this 'jerk'. 

The first time you talked to him after those months of contemplation was at a party, Nancy had taken two extra flyers from a girl who was giving them out. She thought it would be nice for Jonathan and you to go and try to socialize a bit more. 

Jonathan was reluctant at first, but eventually agreed when you said it'd be nice.

When you had gotten out of his car, you immediately felt overwhelmed by the number of people in and out of the house. You knew that no one would look at you in this entire crowd, but somehow you were still convinced you'd look like a complete clown in there.

You weren't a party girl, just a nerd that hung out with kids at the science club, played DnD with them after school, or just looked over them when their parents were busy. You'd be laughed at if they knew you played the role of the babysitter with them.

You weren't embarrassed by it, even if they were younger, they were still nice to be with, but you didn't need to get bullied; so blending in with the walls at school was better than that.

By the time you had gone in and turned your head, Jonathan had already disappeared from your sight. This had either meant that he had decided to chicken out, or that a certain girl named Nancy had gone to have a  more-than-friendly chat with him. 

As you made a path through the crowd, and made your way towards the drinks, you suddenly tripped on your own feet, ending up in some guy's arms.

Lifting your head up, you were met with Steve's worried eyes.

"Hey, are you fine?" he asked. 

"Yeah, yeah, I am." you said, stepping away from his touch. "Thanks for... catching me, I'm sorry I almost took you with me in the fall. I wasn't drunk I just... tripped on my own feet." 

Steve smiled, "It's okay, there's a crap ton of people here."

"Yeah, a bit... too much. That's true." you admitted.

"Do you... want to go outside the street, then? It's less crowded. Just in case, you know. But if you want to stay here, then I can stay or you can... Yeah." he stopped himself from rambling any further, bringing his hand in his hair. 

"Outside is fine, if you don't mind. I wasn't supposed to come here to begin with. 

Nancy dragged me here." you confessed. 

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201 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

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