#CORE EXERCISES ARE THE WORST

[fg083nrt]

Are all the akatsuki members underweight? I remember reading that Hidan weighed around 57kg at 177cm and that Kakuzu weighed less than 65kg at 185 cm which is wild

Tbh I can’t tell if it’s because it’s a manga and Kishimoto just made everyone weigh less than what is realistic or if it’s because Kakuzu is mainly made up of threads so he doesn’t weigh that much

When thinking about these things, you need to take into account:

1. Averages for the country of origin.

Different regions have different distributions for traits like this. Averages vary based on what they are in comparison to. An average in one place will be seen as "abnormal" in a different place. So like, people from Nothern China tend to be, on average, taller than people in Southern China, so on and so forth.

2. Time period.

Naruto takes place in a psudo-feudal type Japan setting. The distribution for weight and height used to be different if you take the era into account. (If you are a keener, you can do a nutritional thought exercise based on what people commonly ate in feudal Japan, but I'm not good at it, and my weightlifting friends who know nutrition have weird regiments.)

3. Target audience for the story

This is the main explanation, but when you are creating a story with an audience of teenagers in mind, you need to take into account how they perceive the world. It doesn't have to be ultra-realistic. It can just exist to be related to by a teenager. It's part of the reason protags and all the characters are so young. On average, people tend to enjoy things where they can establish a quick connection to the character. To them, smaller numbers make more sense and are easier to comprehend.

Think of when you were 13 watching Naruto and thought 35-year-old Sasori was an old, ancient man. To how now, you look at the ages and height/weight ratios like, "This makes no sense/is concerning."

[daz4i]

as i'm getting in a better shape these days i can now even more confidently say that anyone who tells me that exercise is a quick way to feel better is fucking lyinggggg that shit sucks so hard. it no longer makes me feel like i'm gonna break after 2 minutes but it's still just bad. not a single positive aspect of it (emotion wise)

[caffeinatedopossum]

The workout I've been managing to do the last three times takes me about 20 minutes and I'm honestly really happy that I can complete that because that's a lot for me.

I think my next goal is going to be to do that workout twice a day so I'll get a total of 40 minutes everyday which brings me infinitely closer to my 1 hour a day goal :D

I'll still have to see how it effects my body though because even with the amount of trial and error I've already been going through for years to find out what exercises I can and can't do with my ehlers danlos, it's still really unclear to me what's hurting me and what's helping

[bsaka7]

IT band is bothering me for the most it has since the beginning of last summer... literally no clue as to the trigger but I am ANNOYED!!!!

[duncebento]

we shouldn't have to feel grateful for so much of this, man. as valuable a virtue as gratitude is, i don't want the world we've made to be one in which my prayer of thanks for anesthesia at the dentist is anything more than a novel acknowledgement, rather than resultant of seeing so many people lack that "privilege." i'm a senior at a polytechnic rn; i don't want to be grateful for the continued existence of the school, the fact of its concrete walls still standing. i don't want to be aware of the fact that the toddlers in my family are in one piece; i don't want a contrary example of limbless infants to live in my mind. the softly-suffered deaths i've mourned have provided more than enough suffering on their own!

but such is the world we've built. while some well-fed mouths in the imperial core shut their eyes and cover their ears and make crude jokes and question whether such suffering really is realistic at all, the virtuous of us, those interested in good, refuse to look away until we've changed it. part of exercising that continued gaze is providence. if your life has ever been happier on account of a living sibling or a standing university or a cat sleeping on your stomach or a warm home, see whether you can't provide for miriam baalou, who, like me, has a tumblr account-- @freepaleatine95 -- and who, younger than i am, has had all of these things taken away as collateral for the continued comfort of the imperial core.

in this empire, whose current is an evil one, even to remain in one place requires discipline, labor, capital. to do good requires even more. but let us work heartily against the worst selfishnesses of our worst ancestors.

the baalous’ campaign has been vetted by 90-ghost, who's work in making palestinian campaigns more legible to outsiders i am grateful beyond words for.

[adviceformefromme]

YOUR RE-SET

So your life isn’t looking and feeling how you envisioned. You see the TikTok and IG girlies living that life. You dream about luxury travel, pilates on a Saturday morning, drinking overpriced green smoothies, driving a sexy car, and living your fullest most authentic life…But in comparison, you’ve grown to mostly hate spending time with your friends, you’ve out grown them and notice how much they complain about life and generally are low vibes, you’ve spent all of this months wages already, and still have 2 weeks left until payday so your bank balance is no way supporting the life you dream of, to add, your dating life is a mess not consisting of your dream guy that provides for you. No, instead it seems too much effort for him to message back, let alone take you to that sexy spa you’re dying to visit. So in short your life is a far cry from what you want. The life you’ve created right now is absolutely not what you would want for yourself for the next year, or even five years. So in order to completely shift from where you are to where you want to be. You need a fucking RE-SET. 

The re-set is basically your metamorphosis. Think of being the caterpillar, heavy, slow sluggish (currently you right now). In order to become a beautiful butterfly you need to completely transform, undo, take time to reorganise so you can re-emerge as nature intended. 

The Re-set might look slightly different for everyone so take what you need from this: 

2-3 months stepping back from the people around you. 

THE CORE ESSENTIALS FOR YOUR RESET - A DAILY PRACTISE  

Meditating daily to clear you mind so you can hear yourself, your own voice and drown out any external noise. (I recommend insight timer app, or mind app both for meditations)

A journal, to document your feelings and emotions, empty your thoughts, and a space where you can become your own best friend and create a connection with yourself. 

Movement. - you need to move your body this is KEY, you might pick up running, stretching at home, pilates, yoga, HIT, whatever it is just fucking do it. Your body needs the movement to replenish its energy and move you out of stagnation. 

Healthy diet. Less alcohol more greens. If it’s processed, if its fizzy, if its sugar, if its cake, if its chocolate, if its ice cream (you get the picture), cut that shit OUT. You need food that supports you, cleanses you, energises you in order to thrive and clear your energy. 

FAITH in something bigger than yourself. If you’re religious, great lean into your faith with prayer, scripture, faith music. If you’re not religious maybe you believe in the universe, the love all around you, faith in something unknown, something guiding you, protecting you, even if you believe this is part of your own psyche - lean into this. Your faith is your support system. Your faith is the unseen that will guide and protect you on this journey. 

The above might seem overwhelming, and it will be if you don’t already incorporate those things into your day already. The worst thing you want to do is try and do everything at once and feel disappointed when you don’t succeed. So start with one thing if that’s all you can manage and focus on doing that one thing consistently and then add from that. 

The purpose of the first 2-3 months is the cleansing. You want to start slowly removing what doesn’t serve you, and start creating space for yourself, your thoughts and visions so you have space to start planting new seeds of the life you want to live. 

What your first steps in your journey might look like: 

Saying no to going out for drinks with friends, instead you go for a long walks in nature listening to an empowering podcast, go home journal and meditate. 

Weekends might look like not seeing friends, maybe even family. Doing exercise, making healthy food, researching recipes, creating a vision board on Pinterest and doing a guiding meditation, affirmations and mirror work. 

Having a prayer practise, reading books/ passages that support you in your journey 

Deleting your social medias or even doing a detox day / weekend so you have a break 

PART 2 - COMING NEXT….(Here)

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I know you made shorts for Sora, Riku, and Kairi, but do you have any other thoughts about Kingdom Hearts?

Ik this is kinda vauge and you get these kind of asks all the goddamn time, but I hyperfixated on those games for most of elementary and middle school and its always cool to see your favorite Youtuber talk about stuff you really like. Not to guilt trip you into answering this one or anything, just. . . I'm very tired and it would be very cool lol.

Again, saving my character design thoughts for some more shorts, but I adore Kingdom Hearts. Like, the first game really ISN'T much more than a cross-promotional branding exercise for Disney and Square, same as any of a dozen other similar crossover centric franchises; it's a Saturday morning cartoon show that wants to get you invested (or keep you invested) in a bunch of fancy IPs to buy toys of, but it's a really good one of those.

And it's a game that understands that the central thing that's going to hook people IN to that kind of thing is characters that are willing to believe in what they've got going on with one thousand percent sincerity. Which I think is the thing they nailed more than anything. Sora cares SO MUCH, and he wants to find his friend and his love interest (Kairi and Riku, respectively) SO BADLY, you can't help but root for the poor kid and want to believe in it.

Then, with the first game successfully managing to hook a solid fanbase, the creative team went "hey what if we had even MORE extremely earnest cool anime people getting deep in their feelings?" and now we're off to the races with Organizations and Oblivion Castles and fractions of 358 days.

And the thing that makes all the hyper-convoluted wheels-within-wheels plot machination nonsense WORK is that down, deep down, right at the core of what the franchise is always trying to say, is that love will save us. Yeah yeah hearts and darkness and unversed and nobodies and keyblades and blah blah blah (to be clear: I adore all that nonsense), but all of it is top-to-bottom in service of that singular central thematic clarion call.

Love will save us.

What holds Ventus together after Xehanort tears his heart apart? The love of Sora. What keeps Roxas the nobody from fading into Sora? The love of Xion and Axel, and Hayner, Pence and Olette. What brings Xion back? The love of Axel and Roxas. Hearts ring together and resonate and bind themselves to each other and there is no darkness so deep, no tragedy so absolute, no villain so foul that the cry of a loving heart cannot defeat it.

Roxas is a nobody doomed to darkness? Fuck you, Kingdom Hearts is love, no he isn't. Xion is a mere replica puppet, a failed experiment that nobody will remember? >>EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER<< get seasalt icecream'd on top of a clock tower at sunset, IDIOT.

Over and over again characters sink into despair and loneliness, they fear that their connections are fake or fading, they fear being forgotten or left behind (Riku in the first game, the breaking of Ventus, Aqua and Terra, Roxas thinking nobody would miss him, Aqua in the Realm of Darkness), and over and over again they are proven beautifully wrong. There is always a hand reaching out, there is always someone who will miss you. Love will save us.

And this absolutely gets hokey, of course it does, it's a saturday morning children's cartoon. It's a bit simplistic, maybe a bit naïve, but honestly in a world where you can't walk two steps without bleak-minded doomer cynicism forcing the assumption that nothing truly good is possible and that the worst will always happen, Kingdom Hearts is a story so absolutely drenched in hope, sincerely held, that it feels like a fucking balm.

Also, LITERALLY where the fuck else are you going to get Woody from Toy Story reading an edgy anime villain for absolute filth? Nowhere, that's where. ONLY Kingdom Hearts.

None of this is to suggest I don't have criticisms of the franchise or that it's faultless. I could talk for several hours unbroken about all my gripes and problems, chief among which is LET KAIRI DO THINGS OH MY FUCKING GOD the franchise is low key misogynistic towards its female characters sometimes but I am talking about the things I love here let me just be happy for a second.

[justwinginglife]

Hi!Can I have a request of Soshiro with operations manager fem reader?Where soshiro gets jealous and possessive because some recruits tries to hit on her during subjugation exercises or breaks but reader’s oblivious to it which frustrates hoshina more cause he’s the vc and needs to act more professional.

thank you in advance and also feel free to ignore this if you’re not up to it:)) have a good day

I'm always up for it! Thanks for the message, you have the best of days!

Whoever said jealousy was a bad thing never met Soshiro Hoshina- that man makes anything look sexy, especially jealousy.

Today, he was especially attractive the way his breath was heaving in his muscled chest and his knuckles were white from the sheer effort he was putting into clenching his fists. His eyes were darting back and forth from the part of your lips as they laughed to the blush on the officer's cheeks as he heard your laugh. Hoshina thought his bottom lip might bruise from the way he was piercing it, anxiously waiting for you to wave the officer away. You never did and he drew blood.

He sucked in a sharp breath as he watched you, the taste of iron flooding his mouth. But focusing on the bitter taste was keeping his possessiveness at bay, so he pressed his tongue against his dripping lip and continued to sulk in silence. He was the Vice Captain, his time was important and he couldn't afford to waste it fighting men off of you, much as he'd like to. If it was up to him, no man would even breathe near you let alone talk to you, make you laugh like that. He should be the one making you laugh like that, he bristled.

He could tell the officer was soaking in the sound of your voice and for a moment, he couldn't really blame them. He'd fallen in love with the sound of your voice over the comms. That was how he'd met you, after all. You had taken over for Okonogi one day while she was sick and his surprise at hearing a different voice in his ear was quickly overtaken by pleasure as he heard you barking out orders. You were so much more assertive than Okonogi. You'd tell an officer when they were making a dumb move- "Your combat power is no match for that honju, fall back and reinforce the rear, you're still injured after all," and you had extensive kaiju knowledge, always reciting where you thought the core would be and directing the best method of attack. You had no fear, you were always confident that the officers would perfectly carry out your plans so you didn't waver in your instructions.

Hoshina always thought you were meant for more than operations manager, you should be at Director Shinomiya's side strategizing battle. But he was thankful you stayed in the Third Division where he could keep an eye on you. And honestly, he was grateful that you were there to keep an eye on him as well.

When he was fighting Kaiju Number 10 and he got slammed against a wall, unable to speak from the force of taking such a hit, and everyone including Okonogi thought he might be out for good, you alone stayed seated in your chair, arms crossed. You watched as everyone leapt up, worry-stricken, as they yelled for him to answer. You just leaned back even further in your chair and said simply, "He's not done yet, just watch." You knew better. You would never underestimate the Vice Captain.

The Vice Captain had taken on many tough beasts and cruel challenges in his lifetime, but the worst thing he could ever endure was now happening right in front of his eyes. The officer was now asking for your number. Your eyes widen in surprise, "Don't tell me you didn't know what he was talking to you for," Hoshina hisses under his breath. Then he can't take it anymore.

He strides over to the both of you, trying to keep his movements even and his breaths smooth. He stands up straight as he looks down at the other man, sizing him up.

"Officer. Don't you have better things to do than bother her?" He demands, the edge in his voice cutting through the air like one of his swords.

The officer shrinks in his presence and you smirk.

"Ah but we were just getting to the good part." You tease, trying to see how far you can push him.

Hoshina's nostrils flare and his eyes burn down at the man before him. He can't bring himself to look at you, knowing he's being unreasonably territorial, so he takes it out on the poor officer.

"Is that so? And here I thought you were supposed to be training. Here, let me help you with your training, give me 50 push-ups." He spits out.

You roll your eyes and set a hand on Hoshina's arm, feeling his muscles flex at your touch. "Alright that's enough, he's learned his lesson." You look down at the boy, who has started shakily doing his push-up's. "You can go now. Just don't let the Vice Captain catch you asking for my number again, okay?" He nods quickly and runs off.

"Happy now, love?" You ask him.

He pulls you into his arms. "Immensely."

You laugh but sink into his arms anyway. "You know I'm all yours, dumbass."

"Yeah- how 'bout you tell everyone else that?" He growls against your neck.

You shake your head. "Nah, I think this is significantly more fun. You're sexy when you get jealous." You pull back a little so he can see you wink at him.

He groans, rolling his eyes at you before pulling you back into his embrace.

"You're going to be the death of me."

[doeidawn]

18+ MDNI

yeah i'm hoping on the ex!price bandwagon. so what.

your car breaking down now was probably the worst possible timing in the world. sure, it was a miracle the piece of junk ran as long as it did, but it's not ideal for it to sit unmoving in your driveway when you've got a job to work and a life to live.

as if it could get worse, you realize that no one you know is available at this time; they're either working their own jobs or they live miles away. but while scrolling through your contacts and internally debating whether or not to call a shop out of your budget, you come across that number you should have deleted a long time ago.

you hate how much you hope he’ll pick up as you listen to the line ring. even more, you hate the jolt of warmth that shoots through you when your name is the first thing to come out of his mouth. you've barely given john the time of day since you left him, and now here you are calling him for help. you can't decide if you're grateful or not when he says he's coming over.

you thought sitting and waiting for him would be the worst part, until you see an all too familiar car pulling up in front of your house. your stomach churns when you see him; of course a man of such routine would look the same as always. he still towers over you and the sound of his voice nearly shakes your core. at least he has the decency to be civil. this time.

it doesn't last long, though. after the small talk and asking what'd happened with your car, john's moved on to asking where your boyfriend is and why he couldn't help you out. you don't miss the way he smirks when you inform him you don't have one. you ask if he's found another woman to terrorize only find yourself more relieved than you should be when he says no.

john, out of the kindness of his heart (kindness he never much cared to exercise in your relationship), says he has no problem helping you out. he's cheaper than a shop, more hands-on than any professional. besides, you wanted him here, right? that's why you called him, after all, and who would he be to deny you?

the subject of payment inevitably arises, and john is sure to let you know that he doesn't need your hard-earned cash. you know that his job pays him well enough anyway. he doesn't bother being sweet—knows he doesn't have to butter you up like he used to—a quick fuck should cover the labor just fine.

you hate how quick you are to agree. you hate even more how you were secretly hoping that was what he wanted. and you know he notices how little you fight it when he bends you over the side of the sofa, but you can't bring yourself to care. not when you're this wet from the sight of him (something he's adamant to point out when he strips you down) and his thick cock fills you so perfectly.

stomaching all of his taunts and teases is only possible because of how good he feels lodged balls deep inside you. it's a sensation you missed more than you'd ever care to admit. and given how quickly john's pace stutters and he spills inside you, you assume he felt the same. you'd tease him about it if he hadn't made you cum the hardest you have since the last time you were with him.

yeah, he'll fix your car up, but he might need a follow up session afterwards for all his hard work. c'mon, you know you want to.

[astrosouldivinity]

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑬𝒚𝒆: ⁺⋆🧿⋆⁺ (𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚃𝚠𝚘)

Practice Discernment: 👁️

Trust your intuition to identify the source of energy around you. Visualize yourself skillfully maneuvering away from the negative energy, much like a clever fox evading a trap. Stay adaptable and flexible; they can’t control what they cannot access.

Transmute Negative Energy: 🦋

When others project negativity, they are still sending you their energy. Use this to your advantage by transmuting their negative energy into something beneficial for yourself. For example, any negativity directed your way can be repurposed towards your own abundance.

Mantra: "I release all negativity sent my way; only positive energy flows to me."

Visualize: “I am surrounded by a shield of light; negativity cannot touch me."

Embody a Karmic Mirror: 🪞

Reflect back to others their true selves at their core. Their disdain for you often stems from their own self-loathing. Consider the concept of Dorian Gray’s painting; you become a portrait that reveals their darker aspects.

• Exercise caution with this tactic, as it can provoke the worst in people, so be prepared for backlash. Some individuals will retaliate by attempting to silence you, while others express their hatred openly, or do so more covertly. Identify the type of person you’re dealing with and respond accordingly. Fortunately, some may choose to distance themselves out of cowardice, which can work to your advantage.

Example 1: If you choose to call them out, they may avoid facing their own shadow and simply choose to avoid you. Problem solved. People who dislike facing the truth or who are non-confrontational will most likely react this way.

Example 2: They may react with anger and could initiate a smear campaign aimed at damaging your reputation. If they can’t control you, they will try to control how others perceive you, or they will attempt to undermine you in any way possible. There are many different ways people can harm you, which I will talk more about in the future.

-How to Deal with a Smear Campaign: Ignore it and allow it to run its course. If they can’t trigger you they have no control over you.

Utilize Strategies With Caution: ⚠️

Interacting with egos requires a strategic approach. This is essential when navigating the spiritual and psychological battles that accompany the influence of the evil eye. Remember that many individuals are often unaware of their own energy, so it’s important to display compassion towards them.

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 1

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 3

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

𝙽𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍. 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝: @𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 🖤

✨ ✨🧿✨✨🧿✨✨🧿✨✨🧿✨✨🧿✨✨

𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚏𝚊𝚛𝚎. 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝙸’𝚖 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚎𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢. 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜. 🙏🏿

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The Reckoning Virus

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

War with the Interaxie was an inevitable outcome for humanity and the entire galaxy knew it.

Border disputes, clashing rights over trade, subtle threats between delegates and near constant animosity between the two powers all but assured that they would come to blows. Along the entire shared border between the two powers a sense of dread and waiting could be felt on every world as if they could sense the brewing storm just over the horizon.

Yet humanity could not afford to be the aggressors for a change.

Unlike their previous conflicts the Interaxie had a well-organized military and an industrial power base to support them for decades of sustained combat. They had dozens of worlds to draw upon near limitless manpower reserves meaning any conflict could be drawn out into a bloody stalemate. While the humans were not unfamiliar with this style of warfare it was an outcome they did not wish to see realized.

To prevent this outcome humanity put a plan into motion called “The Reckoning”, which when completed would hand them victory in the war within a few months at best.

While the Interaxie were gathering their strength and hiding their growing fleet strength behind ‘military exercises” a series of shipments were being delivered to the core worlds of the Interaxie. They arrived at trade ports and were moved to waiting warehouses as their paperwork was checked only for the shipments to mysteriously vanish. It wasn’t unheard of for a shipment or two to go missing at such facilities, and though on some of the world’s their disappearance was noticed and investigated for the majority of others they were written off as clerical mistakes. The trade network between worlds was after all vast and overwhelmed by bureaucratic red tape so it was not unheard of for a shipment to be mishandled.

Such trivialities were soon overshadowed as the eventual war broke out and trade quickly shut down between the two powers. What had been mild border conflicts broke out into ruthless fleet sized engagements that turned entire systems into orbital graveyards of ships overnight. Human Hammerhead dreadnoughts were taking on entire swarms of Interaxie drone swarms in space while the Terran Marine Corps were barely holding their own against Interaxie armored divisions on the planets of Theta, Primus, and Dollore.

The fighting was intense and just as predicted the Interaxie began to call upon their vast manpower reserves early in an attempt to simply overrun human opposition and claim a swift victory. Legions began mustering on their core worlds waiting for transport to the front when the war took a turn for the worse for the would-be alien conquerors.

Without warning several viral outbreaks began to be reported from the Interaxie core worlds. Infected individuals began showing heightened states of aggression and delirium with the worst cases quickly devolving to bouts of madness and rage. What made it worse was when local officials quarantined an area in hopes of isolating the infected a new series of outbreaks would happen somewhere else entirely leaving containment out of the question.

It did not take long for civil unrest to break out as the virus spread into major populated areas and shortly after states of emergency to be declared. Factories ground to a halt as the workers fled the infection to protect themselves and their loved ones, farms and fields left unattended as their caretakers no lay lost to the grips of the disease leaving shelves unfilled and empty. Fights broke out for what supplies remained and though provisions could have been supplied from off world spaceports were soon overrun by those wishing to flee. When the infected reached a critical state of the virus’s development they began lashing out at anyone and everyone within arms reach resulting in the near total collapse of order on worlds as waves of infected ran through the streets

The legions that had been mustering to be sent the front soon found themselves being redeployed for containment or worse, becoming largely infected themselves and losing all combat effectiveness. Interaxie warriors were forced to put down many of their comrades who had succumbed to the virus leaving them horrified by their actions. It was worse for those deployed as part of containment teams who gunned down thousands of infected civilians on the quarantined worlds, many of which were related to the warriors by blood.

Within a month a dozen worlds had been locked under quarantine with another handful now desperately holding on as infection rates continued to rise, all the while the war with the humans continued. The sudden loss of manpower and war material was certainly noticed on the front and the humans shifted tactics. Every engagement they forced the Interaxie into using whatever reserves they had left as much as possible. Soon it was not uncommon for three Interaxie soldiers to be rationing one power cell for their rifles while their fleets lay in high anchor above their worlds due to lack of fuel to move them out of system.

Unable to meet the current demands of the war and handle the outbreaks spreading through their core worlds, the Interaxie soon sued for peace. The humans were not sympathetic with the Interaxie plight and their demands were steep.

1.       Three border systems would be transferred over to human control.

2.       A DMZ would be established from the newly taken territory and the remaining Interaxie domain which no ship from either side would cross.

3.       The Interaxie would be forced to repay a war debt to humanity in the sum of three trillion credits over the course of the next twenty solar years.

4.       Human monitoring stations would be placed inside Interaxie space to prevent future acts of aggression.

Had it been at any other time the Interaxie would have rather fought on until the bitter end than accept such harsh terms, but with the virus continuing to cripple their military and economy they were left with no choice but to relent and agree to the terms.

With that the Interaxie/Human war came to an abrupt end and the Interaxie redeployed their entire military forces to combat the growing viral outbreaks, all the while Terran Special Services watched from afar and grinned.

Several months prior to the war they had been responsible for shipping a number of unremarkable containers through a series of dummy corporations and unaffiliated alien trade networks until they arrived on the Interaxie core worlds. They bore no human markings and their paperwork was all in order leaving nothing for suspicion. Once they had been moved to the warehouses for processing TSS operatives quietly removed the containers and began distributing the contents across the worlds.

Industrial factories, mining complexes, agricultural farms, super markets, water treatment facilities, power plants; any and all critical infrastructure locations were located and seeded with the contents of the containers before the operatives quickly fled off world.

When war finally broke out a signal was remotely sent and each of the packages cracked open releasing their deadly contents. Swarms of tiny mosquitos genetically bred to carry what was known as the Reckoning Virus were soon released and began spreading the virus with every victim they came into contact with.

It was an ecological disaster of unimaginable proportion. Not only did the insects infect the personnel of the facilities they were placed in, but they also began to spread outwards and begin breeding in new areas. Any source of water soon became a deadly petri dish for them as they reproduced at an alarming rate releasing further swarms of insects. On these alien worlds they had no natural predators and what wildlife did attempt to eat them soon became deadly sick with the virus as well leading to rampant overpopulation of the bugs.

The Interaxie were well aware of the seemingly good timing the outbreaks had been for the humans and long suspected their involvement but could not prove anything as the TSS had planned for such eventualities. None of the devices used were of human origin and even if they could track down how they had arrived on world the series of dummy companies and alien trade networks used to ship them there resulted in a labyrinth of legal networks and commissions needed for even the slightest scrap of information that would lead nowhere.

For almost ten years the virus remained effective before the Interaxie were finally able to find a way to not only cure the virus but also eliminate the invasive species of mosquitoes, but by then the damage was already done. Both their military and trade had been crippled by the viral outbreaks and with several of their primary manufacturing worlds now defunct the flow of goods to the remaining worlds was almost a trickle. Extreme measures of rationing were implemented which only led to further discontent and civil unrest which in turn was brutally put down by military forces. What had once been a galactic power now had been reduced to a third rate kingdom barely able to hold a trade agreement out of their domain let alone ever again extend their power through military force.

[mishacakes]

how do you connect to your character? like how do get to know them so well? how do you pick out their likes, dislikes, habits and those itty bitty bits about them? I've been struggling to do that for sooo many of my ocs, and i'm also at a lost of how to design them. like i once had a clear idea of what kind of character they are, but i wanted to change them a bit, make them a little better, and i feel like I've lost that character and that character i'm working on doesn't exists, no matter how much i loved them and enjoyed writing an drawing them. this has happened with every single character i made and it just makes me think that i may not be cut out for drawing or writing characters. i look up to you so i thought of asking you for help

sry for the long rant idk wat im doing

HELLO HELLO THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! So basically I took this question and turned it into a 1.6k word essay on writing characters and how I like to do it, so, uh, hope you enjoy!! and hope it helps!

OK!! character writing. How do you do it? or, well, how do I do it. I’ve got a few methods that help me out the most and are the most fun for me to think about. Here’s my big secret, if it’s not fun I don’t do it. I’m not here to do homework I’m waaayyyy out of school. I’m a legal adult. I pay my taxes. I’m not gonna do something that doesn’t give my brain the good fun juice. Anyways. My methods are: symbols, archetypes, and character inspiration. I use all these to figure out the CORE of a character, their very beating heart, and most importantly, what haunts them. Everything about a character, in my opinion, comes from this core and their ghost. Their habits, their fears, their joys, their coping mechanisms. So long as you have a clear grasp on their heart, you won’t go astray. Let’s dive into it! The characters I’m going to be using to describe how I use these methods are Alice and others characters from my webcomic—namely Edith, Hatter, and Rougina—and Tomiko (you know her you love her, catgirl supreme).

Symbols! I love using symbols, they’re something that can describe a character through metaphor, even without going into detail about their whole backstory and habits. Tomiko’s symbols are lanterns (specifically light), cats, ghosts/yokai, shapeshifting, and gold. They all work to further her character as a rough around the edges monster cat with a heart of gold, who uses shapeshifting as a method (both literally and metaphorically) to mold herself into what others need her to be. Alice’s symbols are hearts, eyes, and flesh in general. Try picking one general symbol (the ocean, the forest, the city), and see how specific you can get from there. Or pick a god or goddess that resonates with your character and see what symbols are used for them. Rougina (the antagonist in my webcomic) is a war goddess fallen from grace, and is symbolized with land and volcanoes, so I’ve used volcanic plants to evoke her. Personally I also love going through the tarot for symbols, assigning a tarot card to characters (of the major arcana) is a fun exercise. Which leads us nicely into our next method:

Archetypes! The tarot deck’s Major Arcana is pretty much only archetypes. The Empress as the Mother. The Magician as the Wise Mentor. The Tower as The Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen Oh Jesus Shit. These can help a lot with who your character is. I’m extremely storytelling oriented, so it helps me knowing What Role a character serves in the story they inhabit. Another thing I love in archetypes in the Zodiac. Yes, I am an astrology bitch. The whole reason I love talking about my methods is my Sag rising, I love giving my wisdoms. But astrology can be used for writing, and not just for excusing and not reflecting on shit behavior (can’t help being a gemini!). The zodiac is FILLED WITH ARCHETYPES!!! From elements to how they function! The four elements (you A:TLA bitches know this), and three modalities. If you’re interested please watch Eugene’s Rank King video, it’s very informative on the signs. Also many symbols! For example, Alice is a Taurus—May 4, Alice Liddell’s birthday—so she’s pretty stubborn while also loving creature comforts. Tomiko’s birthday is August 23, making her a Virgo, so she likes being precise in her work. More archetypes you can look for are DnD classes! I love using that to design costumes. One of Edith’s recent costumes is very wizard inspired, since that’s the class I see her having as she’s very studious and driven. Heck, all of Alice and the Nightmare is derived from the character archetypes of the Alice in Wonderland characters! Rougina is specifically the Red Queen, NOT the Queen of Hearts!! The confusion started with the 1951 Disney animated movie when the two characters were merged!! Lewis Carroll himself said the two were different! The Queen of Hearts is an “embodiment of ungovernable passion” and the Red Queen is “the concentrated essence of all governesses”!! GOD!!! Tim Burton meet me in the fucking pit you’ll pay for your alice crimes. anyways.

Archetypes help a lot in costumes too, figuring out what kind of fashion they’d like to wear. You can start broad and get more specific with it (like going from a wizard type character to a wizard character with steampunk themes). Fashion is just an extent of character. What are they comfy in? Are they confident in their body? What colors do they like? Bright high fashion or simple dark sweaters? Ryoko Kui is a master of character design I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend checking out her work.

Another method I like using, specifically for Alice and the Nightmare characters, is what I call the “three trait method”. When I was in middle school we did a production of Alice in Wonderland (I was the White Knight), and too many girls auditioned for Alice. So the director’s solution was to split the character into three parts, and assigning each part to an actor. Her temper, her intelligence, and her innocence, all used in different scenes. Now I use that to think about my own Alice character, except with “polite, temper, and curious”. Edith’s keywords are “nervous, tactical, and intelligent”. Hatter’s are “kind, enthusiastic, and intuitive”. Using keywords can help figure out how they’d react in a situation, what side of them would shine the brightest. Hatter’s want to help everyone is his kindness, but overstepping his bounds can be attributed to his enthusiasm. Edith can know what path to take in a pinch, but her nervousness can freeze her in place. Reading the source material helps a lot with Alice characters too, which brings us to our final point:

Character inspiration!! The art of taking things you like and shoving them into your own characters and stories. DISCLAIMER THO!!! If you take things without really EXAMINING what about them you like, WHY you like them, and how you’d like to evoke that same love in the things you make, the interpretations can come off as shallow. (for more on this subject, watch HBomberguy’s RWBY video essay, specifically the section on “anime homework”)

Tomiko’s biggest inspirations are Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi, April Ludgate from Parks and Rec, Power and Reze from Chainsawman, San from Princess Mononoke, and Mei from LMK. It’s a good cocktail of aloof, biting, vicious, weird, fierce, loving, and bright. Figuring out what I love about the characters and what I want to write in a character like that helps a lot in writing Tomiko. It’s also really fun in a sense for screenshot redraws and memes.

Music is also a HUUUUUUGE source of inspiration for me, I love making playlists. And even as playlists can change as characters grow and change, having a couple of core songs still helps me ground to that character’s center. For Tomiko it’s “Make Them Gold” by CHVRCHES, and “Nice Girl” by Ashnikko. Alice’s is “Headlock” by Imogen Heap and “Demons” by Hayley Kiyoko, Edith’s is “Warrior” by Kimbra, and Hatter’s is “Dementia” by Owl City.

Ok, we’ve gotten though symbols, archetypes, and made a couple of banger playlists. Next is something that can help write your character, the Big Lie. The thing that keeps them up at night. Their biggest fear, their ghost, what haunts them. What’s holding them back from their goals? What do they need to overcome? That can be as central to their theme as any symbolism. For Tomiko it’s the lie that her emotions don’t matter, only what she can do to be of service to her mother. Her arc is about overcoming her dismissing her own emotions and learning to not run away from the people who she truly cares for. Alice dismisses the literal ghost that is haunting her believing that that will let her have a normal life. Edith pushes down abilities that come naturally to her for fear that she’ll be exiled, not just from society, but the world. Rougina believes she must burden the world’s problems on her own shoulders with no one’s help. The outer character and the inner ghost can reflect, mirror, and inform each other.

Now, listen, sometimes characters are hard to get to know! Tomiko was lol. Quinn was for a looong time. And in times like this, I just, let them be. I listen to some music to get inspired, and let them tell me about themselves when they feel like it. And they will, it just take a little while. And a few dozen quick exploration drawings. But they come through. Also, try not to get bogged down with habits and little details of their character, keep their core in mind, what their heart is. Start broad and get specific. That way, if you feel like you’ve lost your way or the character feels different to you, recenter yourself at their heart and go from there. Or, if you find that their center no longer fits, don’t be afraid to change it! Characters are meant to be fun! First and foremost!! I make characters cause I like writing and storytelling, and drawing little comic for fun and me time. Sometimes characters stick around, sometimes they fall by the wayside. You really have to find what sparks joy, and chase your bliss!

So as long as you have your character’s essence in your hands, and you WANT to keep working on them and drawing them, there’s really no wrong way to go. This whole essay I’ve given is just a set of tools that works for ME, and I HIGHLY encourage you to find stuff that works for you! I really really hope that all this has made sense and isn’t just the ramblings of a madman. Good luck and happy charactering!!

[ficsandgiggles]

Core Muscles (Natasha x Yelena x Reader)

“Ahh so pleased your prompts are open again! I’m not great at asks but how about reader x one of/a combo of the Marvel girls (actors or characters, up to you) training in the gym. Reader is working on core strength and one of the girls points to the muscles reader should be working on and reader loses it because their stomach is their worst spot so of course the girls go to town. Have some fun with it!”

A/N: I really hope this is okay! I have no knowledge about these types of exercises although I wish I had the motivation to learn/do them 😂 but I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Word count: 1255

Warnings: None

“So you’re working on your core strength today?”

You jumped when you heard another voice, but relaxed when you recognised it, turning around to see Natasha enter the gym, wearing a tank top and gym pants with her hair up in a ponytail.

You vowed to yourself that you would start looking after your body more, as you knew that sometimes you needed more than just your powers in a fight or for self-defence in general.

You nodded in response to Nat’s question. “Yeah… I heard that having a stronger core can do more than just give you abs, it can help balance and stuff.” You replied, briefly looking at the mirror, you had some insecurities with your body, but you could see improvement. But now you regret wearing a crop top since you were no longer alone.

“You’re learning your stuff,” Natasha commented with a smile, going towards the punching bag. “If you need any help, give me a shout, I’ll be here for a bit.” She told you before beginning her workout.

“Thanks…” you replied quietly, trying to concentrate and return to what you were doing. You decided to do the classic plank, despite hating it, there were a lot of benefits in doing it. So you got down and stretched into the position. You went into your own little world, trying to stay there for as long as possible. You were so zoned out that you didn’t notice that Yelena had walked into the room.

“You are putting yourself through torture by doing the plank you know.”

You snapped out of your head and collapsed, turning around to see Yelena smirking. “I was getting to my record time!” I whined, getting up to shove at her.

“Oh boo hoo, if you’re looking at strengthening your tummy muscles I can show you a few more exercises you can do.” She offered, and you immediately nodded, anything that avoids doing the plank.

“Okay, so you will need to be on the floor on all fours, then you stretch out an arm and then the opposite leg and switch. It’s called the bird dog.” She chuckled as you followed her directions.

You could definitely feel your core muscles working and got more and more confident as you tried to extend your limbs higher and higher, thus arching your back a little.

“You do not need to stretch high, it’s about control.” Yelena guided, putting her hands on your ribs to gently move you back to the original position, making you flinch and briefly bring your arm back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” She asked, you immediately shook your head, smiling innocently.

“Oh, no, I just didn’t expect you to touch me.” You replied casually, doing a few more rounds of the exercises before giving yourself a break.

Your eyes flickered towards Natasha, who was watching the two of you, she gave you a brief smirk as if she had already figured out why you reacted the way you did when her sister touched you.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I will be more careful next time.” The blonde apologised. “Another classic exercise though is called the dead bug, and you need to be on your back for this one.”

You nodded, rolling over so you were lying on your back, Natasha had now stopped her workout completely to observe you and Yelena, but you didn’t say anything and listened to the blonde.

“So it is basically like the bird dog but you’re on your back and you are bending your knees toward you instead of stretching it out.” She got on the floor and gave you an example, you quickly understood what she was doing and started doing the same.

“You are arching your back a little,” Yelena told you, already forgetting what she said about being more careful when touching you and putting her hand on your tummy to gently push you back down flat onto your back.

Once again, you flinched and dropped your arms and legs, blushing as Yelena gave you a confused look.

“Are you okay?” She asked, concerned that she had hurt you again.

“They’re fine, they’re just like you,” Natasha replied on your behalf, coming over and skittering into her sister's ribs briefly, causing her to yelp and slam her arms down, before smirking over at you.

“Oh, that’s what it is?” Yelena asked, lighting up a little as she knelt next to you and put a hand on your shoulder to hold you to the floor so you couldn’t escape. “Are you ticklish, Y/N?”

Your eyes widened, shaking your head as you tried to wiggle away, but it only made Yelena skitter her fingers into your ribs with her free hand.

“Pretty sure they are,” Nat replied, smiling a little before sitting on your ankles, not doing anything just yet but it was enough to make you gasp and wiggle even more, despite knowing that you couldn’t throw the Black Widow off your legs.

Yelena grinned, now just going for it and using both hands to skitter up and down your sides and ribs, causing you to arch your back with a giggly squeal. “Hehehehey nohohoho!”

“It seems that you’re right, Natasha, very ticklish indeed, and laughing helps with strengthening core muscles as well so this could be a part of your exercise routine!” Yelena beamed and now scribbled into your belly, causing you to squeal with laughter, especially since Nat started tickling your feet.

“GUHUHUHUYS QUIT IHIHIHIHIT!” You screeched, scrunching your toes up whilst shoving at Yelena, shaking your head helplessly.

“Yelena is right Y/N, laughing is highly beneficial, so I think this needs to happen more often,” Nat commented loud enough for you to hear as she held your toes back to scribble underneath them whilst Yelena now experimented with a raspberry.

You blushed, your laughter going silent as Yelena blew the raspberry, you weakly pushed at her head as you squirmed around as much as you felt able to.

Eventually, they let you up, and you immediately curled up, taking in deep breaths with the occasional giggle slipping out.

“That was… so mean…” you huffed out, making the two women chuckle fondly, Yelena ruffling your hair.

“I don’t think it was, I think you loved it more than you know.” Yelena teased, to which you flipped her off.

“Hey!” Yelena gasped and briefly dug under your arms the second you sat up, making you shriek and slam your arms down. “You know I’m right!”

You remained quiet, looking at Natasha and watching for any judgement. The redhead just smiled fondly and nodded, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay, Y/N, it’s quite sweet if it’s true, we’re happy to do it whether it’s to strengthen your core muscles or just to cheer you up.” She reassured, pulling you into a hug, which was swiftly joined by Yelena who didn’t want to feel left out.

“This is not the last time I’m going to tickle you because it was just plain adorable.” She teased, suddenly raspberrying your neck to make you squeal before letting you go.

“Now come on, I’ll challenge you to a planking contest, all three of us.” Yelena grinned as the two women pulled away and got into position, followed by you doing the same.

Of course, you lost, and happily accepted the punishment for being the loser. But you didn’t mind, it brought you closer to the Widow sisters whilst enjoying the feeling of just letting yourself laugh for a bit.

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

Another random thought:

Kyrie played 8 games for Duke as a freshman before getting injured and didn't return until March. Duke fell in the sweet sixteen. Kyrie played a total of 11 games.

He then proceeded to get drafted 1st.

Point is - sometimes it doesn't matter what your injury history because coaches recognize generational talent and the potential and that automatically places those players higher.

---------------------------

I also think about Steph's injury history and how everyone thought it was incredibly risky for GSW to renew his contract. He then proceeded to win so many championships. Like reading this article again (I love Pablo Torre) because it really lays out how similar it is to Azzi:

https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/14750602/how-golden-state-warriors-stephen-curry-got-best-worst-ankles-sports

"In his first NBA season after the original procedure, he suffered five ankle sprains while playing in a mere 26 games.....The league had once envisioned Curry as a sharpshooter with a close-up magician's gift of misdirection. But now, as the Warriors guard rested atop Ferkel's operating table, his career resembled a crossover in reverse: a case of ankles breaking a man."

"Curry, Lyles believed, was already among the best in the world at changing direction. But the guard overwhelmingly relied on his ankles for speed and quickness. Those body parts appeared to be basketball's take on the mythical wings of Icarus: melting, as if made of wax, from overuse and ambition. But what if Curry could add another way to fly?"

"The objective is never bulk; Steph prefers his weight at no more than a chiseled 190 pounds. Instead, both Lyles and Payne -- to whom Curry still entrusts his ankles in the summer -- harp on stability amid a storm of jumps, hard cuts and pick-and-rolls. For that same reason, some 90 percent of Curry's lower-body strength work with Payne is one-legged: single-leg reverse lunges, rear-foot elevated single-leg squats, single-leg dead lifts."

I truly believe whatever program Brandon Payne designed with specialists has made Azzi leaner on purpose, changing her diet, improved her core/hip strength even more. I think perhaps for Azzi's speed and movement, she relied on her knees quite a bit but also I think the foot injury and hip syndrome adjusted her gait even more causing more load on the knee and a bit of asymmetry. My guess is this new program likely reset her movement to prevent such a heavy load on the knee. I really want someone to do a deep dive. Because I think they used the Calgary Sports Medicine Center as it is known for ACL research and there is specifically a professor that has a research program for women's basketball and soccer. And I believe she and others have papers on the notion that hip/spine control is directly related to knee injuries in the past. Recently:

https://ucalgary.ca/news/new-testing-protocol-prevents-knee-injuries-female-athletes

"ACL injuries occur in very fast movements like cutting and pivoting and landing situations. Warm-up exercises are not challenging enough to improve muscle strength and game-like movement skills."

I do wonder if she has new warm up techniques from her team of experts that she does in addition to UConn drills.

For the nerds - https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=gcXAZDcAAAAJ&view_op=list_works

Anyway, back to the OG article:

"So we decided to bet on a couple of things," Myers explains. "We bet on who he is as a human being. We bet on his ability. We bet on the fact that he was the type of player who'd do everything within his power to come back and be smart and be diligent."

This was talking about that 2012 contract renewal. I think this really reflects the bet front offices take on someone despite the injury history.

Okay that's it for this random thought!

Always providing so much additional information and making me want to see Azzi even more, I love it 🤗. Here's hoping for the same result for the people's princess.

After all that agony and uncertainty, does he honestly believe that the absurdity of his ankle history has saved him from a worse career?

"I think so," Curry matter-of-factly replies. "It definitely drove home my work ethic. Post-surgery, it's kept me driven about taking advantage of every day. There was a time when I was just worried about playing basketball, much less playing at a high level. Now I try to have as much fun out there as possible. You don't enjoy the surgery and the rehab process. But I enjoy how I came out of it, for sure."

His answer carries the rosy whiff of cliché, admittedly. But when you remember all that must be waved aside to embrace this unfinished timeline of events, so much positivity sounds less like optimism and more like the real secret to Steph Curry's flying, higher than ever.

He learned to forget, finally, that he still might fall.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Freaky Fred

(WARNING! This analysis is... NAUGHTY!)

Hello dear reader, this is Fred.

You hear the words that are in his head.

To Courage the dog he is a threat,

because he’s very… naughty.

In Courage the Cowardly Dog, you see,

Fred appeared and definitely

left a mark on you and me

by being very... naughty.

So let's take a look at this creepy man,

and hopefully you'll understand

why this guy has garnered tons of fans

despite him being... naughty.

Motivation/Goals:

Fred’s a man of simple needs.

He wants to cut hair, indeed!

And his efforts would likely succeed

if he weren’t so… naughty.

He has a compulsion, you know.

He sees hair and it’s time to go!

And so he spends the\is episode of the show

being very naughty.

Performance: Paul Schoeffler is the man, you know!

He voiced Le Quack, Katz and Big Toe!

The Cajun Fox, Zalost, the Snowman, oh,

he played characters who were… naughty.

He was quite good at what he had to do,

even playing Dr. Vindaloo!

And he played our boy Fred, it’s true,

with a performance that was… quite naughty.

Final Fate: After shaving Courage’s hair,

the orderlies escort him out of there.

One could argue the ending’s unfair.

Fred was only… a little naughty.

Evilness: Is Fred evil? Who can say?

I certainly don’t see him that way.

Really, at the end of the day,

the worst you can call him is… naughty.

He shaves off hair against people’s will

because it gives him perverted thrills.

He doesn’t maim or harm or kill,

he’s genuinely just naughty.

So I suppose a 1.5/10’s the score.

I can’t really justify much more.

He’s not cruel or deadly to the core,

he’s a weird guy who’s naughty.

Best Quote: The opening lines of his sole appearance of course,

which he delivers with no remorse

as he outlines his action’s course

and explains that he is… NAUGHTY:

“Hello, new friend. My name is Fred.

The words you hear are in my head.

I say, I said my name is Fred,

and I've been... very naughty.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Alright, time to drop the rhyming act so I can actually really talk about Fred. And boy, is he ever interesting to talk about! Courage is really a cavalcade of amazing one-shot antagonists, but Fred is easily one of the best and most memorable.

A huge part of that is probably down to his single appearance being narrated from his point of view. He’s the rare Courage villain that gives us explicit insight to his thought process and why he does what he does, and what he does is… extremely strange and even suggestive. His compulsion is so strange and how he narrates it and refers to his actions really build him up to feel worse and creepier than he actually is. He’s not trying to hurt Courage in any way, he’s just trying to exercise his bizarre fetish like a G-rated Yoshikage Kira. There's a lot of ways you could read into this compulsion, but t really does make him stand out as a character due to how unique it is and how it's implemented into the story.

I think what also helps is Schoeffler giving one of his best performances on the show. Like yes, Katz and Le Quack are great, and Vindaloo is a funny meme man, but Fred is just a truly iconic character with such a bombastic and sophisticated narration that I really think he’s a contender for the best character the man played. On top of that we have a fantastic design, with his crazy hair and way-too-wide grin; literally every aspect of this guy is perfect.

But at the end of it all, you have to remember that Fred isn’t actually evil, no matter how much he seems to insist he is. At worst, he’s an anti-villain, and even then it’s in name only; the dude is just a freaky weirdo who looks like Betelgeuse and has a strange fetish he can’t help but act out on, and at worst his actions are annoying and inconvenient as opposed to horribly destructive or deadly. Like, oh no, your hair’s gone! It’ll grow back, whatever. He may be Sweeney Todd for kids, but this barber ain’t a demon; he’s just a fucking weirdo. And I love him for it.

A 9.5/10 is the score he gets,

A memorable antagonist, one of the best.

His narration will never leave your head,

and isn’t that just…

NAUGHTY?

[distort-opia]

you know i often see people throwing around the claim "joker r*ped/sa'd barbara in tkj" (mainly to shame people for liking the joker or batjokes) even though alan moore has dedunked it at some point. like the only piece of media i can think of with joker as a rapist is the azzarello graphic novel which is shit and doesn't need to be accepted as canon. i know it's kinda of a touchy subject but i'd be interested to hear your thoughts

Well. You've pretty much said it, to be honest.

Even a cursory Google search will reveal that Azzarello's Joker (2008) is a one-off, non-canon story. The just as much stand-alone sequel, Batman: Damned has a grieving Harley Quinn almost force herself on Bruce, and yet I haven't heard people say Harley is a rapist. Hell, didn't Batman and Harley Quinn (2017) have Harley and Nightwing sleep together... with pretty dubious consent on Dick's side? And yet fans are able to acknowledge that these are not canon storylines and that the writer matters a lot-- in the case of the latter, it's co-written by Bruce Timm, who is infamous for his shitty portrayal of female characters (also see the animation Batman: The Killing Joke, in which Barbara very assertively has sex with Batman, because that's of course the only way a woman can exercise power). Actually, Barbara's character has suffered so much... there's even Batman Beyond 2.0 #28, in which Bruce apparently got Barbara pregnant, Dick's girlfriend at the time.

But we all dismiss these storytelling choices because we know they're idiotic. They go against the core of the characters, simple as that. Why is Joker not allowed the same? While what he canonically did to Barbara in TKJ was horrible, rape did not happen, and that's a fact. Any other implications of sexual assault can only be connected to Frank Miller's writing in the TDKR series (not canon), or that horrible (and again, not canon) book adaptation of TKJ by Christa Faust and Gary Phillips. Unfortunately, there are always some writers who think that it's just darker and grittier and cooler, more shocking to have Joker attempt rape or resort to sexual means of intimidation; though it's funny how it happens that these are also generally controversial writers for their sexist depictions of women.

But we do know why Joker is not afforded the same kind of treatment as other characters who got butchered by out-of-character stories, canon or otherwise. He's become the punching bag of the DC fandom; it's so easy to proclaim loud and proud these days how much you hate the Joker and want him dead. If you're an anti and looking to feel morally righteous and signal to your echo chamber how good and pure you are, it's a low hanging fruit to latch onto Joker and criticize him for all he's done. The problem, of course, is when these people start attacking actual, real-life fans over their fictional preferences, shipping or otherwise.

But to give a more general conclusion, and my actual opinion on the matter: Joker is a master manipulator. His main schtick is literally getting Batman to kill him by orchestrating all manner of situations; he manipulates his doctors, his henchmen, he manipulates Gotham itself through the media on countless occasions. The very reason why he did what he did to Barbara in TKJ was to manipulate her father into having a mental breakdown. Joker picks people to break and then breaks them psychologically, that is his MO. What he wants is to expose the people around him, he wants to show that deep down, everyone is rotten.

It probably becomes obvious why rape is inconsistent with this mindset. Joker isn't the kind of monster to make things happen by brute force, he's the kind of monster to manipulate people into the worst versions of themselves and then laugh at them as they hate themselves for it. He'll murder and torture and imply any manner of atrocity to make that happen, but the source of his glee is seeing people fall into the same dark pit, devoid of humanity, he's chosen to live in. (And don't even get me started on the fact that Joker was canonically shown to have been a victim of sexual assault himself as a child, in Batman: Streets of Gotham. As an adult, he's depicted as gruesomely taking revenge on the man who did it. Something tells me there's more than one reason why Joker would not resort to rape, and it goes beyond MOs or agendas.)