#COLORING THEM WAS SO MUCH FUNN

[veggie-miilk]

✮⋆˙𝘉3 𝘙𝘌𝘔𝘐𝘟𝘌𝘋ִ ࣪𖤐₊ ⊹

[ribbonbonny]

this. this was it. the worst EBE in a while

[oohbuggypie]

our life is all we have to live ! our love is all we have to give !

HEHEE FINISHED IT 🩷 cardstock cut outs of Heike and Disco having a blast out on the dance floor in their funky fits !

unglued / singular versions below bcuz Disco's pose gets obscured by their overlap + some fun facts 🩷

- this idea was inspired by the fact that - though u probably can't tell due to the poor quality of the product lol - i found some pearl and glitter crayons and HAD to buy so i could try them out with two of the sparkliest and shining characters i love 🩷

- the entire piece is made of cardstock that's been cut out, colored, shaped, and coated with glitter (the dance floor and the disco ball) !

- Disco's outfit is my fairly modest take on classic 70's male fashion - high waisted slacks and a buttoned down button up shirt ! Heike's was more of a hybrid creation based off of an outfit worn by the icon, Cher, and some sparkly glitter jumpsuit i saw on Pinterest lol

THIS WAS SO MUCH FUNN srry not srry for talking a bunch after the art i have a sickness called Loving To Share The Process And Fun Facts About It Too ☹️ anyway i love this and i hope yall do too 🩷

[dozyrogue]

I love when the children have different skin tones or little things about them that make them rally unique

richas - being darkskin an afro AND the prosthetic leg I've also seen where parts of his afro are diyed and he has his siblings sign his jersey

Pomme - wearing a hijab is amazing, ive also seen her with this cool Joan of arc type design muah!! Now imagine them both together. My favorite little knight

ramon - with locs and have to agree that's canon, and he insisted on retwisting them himself. His outfits that r very steampunk

Dapper - looking like a straight demon just like his dad lol

sunny - vitaligo, BLACK GIRL SUNNY, braids or locks and bif feather boa because so true, sunny with white hair, her dramatic outfits, SUNNY IN STEAMPUNK OUTFITS MUAHMUAHMUAH

empanada - with vitaligo her hair is a mix of all her moms she kinda looks like a calico cat. HAVING TEXTURED HAIR, the lolita dress

TALLULAH - AND HER HEARING AIDS, YOULL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS, or where she has thick textured hair

Pepito - Black albinism!!!!

Leo - being visably brown, it may not seem like much but it means everything to me

Bobby - with busted teeth and bruises all the time because hes chaos in a mortal body, I've also seen him visibly brown as well, hes also covered in paint

Flippa - the hearts on her shirt changing depending on the lives she has. Where like a layer sweater shirt combo but specificly the sweater sleeves looks like the trans flag, the shirt looks like charlie and her skirt is yellow to match with Mariana

Chayanne - with neopolitin hair is really cute, hes the ONLY canon blondy to me and it stand on that, my favorite little warrior.

Tilin - JUST BEING A MINI QUACKITY IS SO FUNN, or they have a high collar that covers their mouth

Trumpet - has blue hair, with like lots of color and bracelets, or where he kinda looks like a jester

[expendables-ropg]

ROPG

''Give it a few times, nothing goes right in its time''

-O

Redy

Orany

Piky

Grewy

REDY

Not ahead, neither behind, im here for what i have done

I am 19 years old, doesnt matters but i use He/him

My crimes doesnt matters neither, or well it does but whatever, i dont want to scare everyone (:

[Appearence description: ''mestizo, Black hair, red eyes and red hand bands his arms'']

[Objects: ''Rifle'']

ORANY

''welp, i guess this is better than death''

(HELL YEAH IT WAS I GOT A BOYFRIEND)

Im 20 years old female or something, she/her

Not much to say of me, but well, can we go to Piky no-

[Appearence description: white, with brown hair and orange eye, also cat ears and tail, for some weird reazon, also orange hand bands in her arms]

[Nothing of equipment]

Piky

''Something is happening, watch out''

18 years old, she/them because █ ████ ████ ████ ████ ██ (i feel it fits me)

They call me the asshole, then i mention Redy and they all shut up

[Appearence description: mestizo, Long blond hair and pink eyes and hand bands]

[Objects: Double barrel shotgun]

Grewy

''I just want to go home...''

19 years old, any/all!

Not much has happened, but at least its not that bad to be here, specially because of Orany

[Dark skin, Brown hair, green eyes and green hand bands on his arms]

[No objects]

Rules

(can/will be added in the future)

-I dont want politics in this askblog

-NO NSFW

-im okay with suggestive things but remember theres a limit

-Im fine with gore (just dont exagerate), and i love rping

-Anyone can ask!

-Dont make your character too op, your character can be powerful, but you also need to balance them

-Have funn :p

RP guide:

''Redy talks in a red color''

''Orany talks in a orange color''

''Piky talks in a pink color''

''Grewy talks in a green color''

''Mod speaks in a purple color''

[This means ooc/mod talking]

*This is how to say an action*

Inspiration:

This whole blog is inspired by @asksearchlights blog, which was also inspired by @ask-eyefestation blog, both of these ones were archived

...well, this is unfortunate, but i still need to move on, i need to still try, i wont end up archiving this blog, and ill promise to stay here for as long as i can! and maybe they will come back and i will not be archived! :D

Also the game from this blog is Pressure from the platform Roblox

Quick mod notes/edits:

-Mod native language isnt english, so i will probably do grammar mistakes, sorry ):

[mod is He/Him]

This blog was supposed to be done to rp with @asksearchlights blog, but now it is its own blog!

I have indeed finished the game! so dont worry of spoilers! ^ ^

this blog is probably not related to the original game, so expect silly stuff/theories / any headcanon / and funny momments to happend here, after all the point is to have fun :)

@Aeott is the mod of this blog

I made this remake of the introooo post, i hope you liked it :)

Thanks for seeing all of this, i hope you enjoy this askblog as much as i enjoyed making it ^ ^

[crystalizedcryolite]

SO. In your most recent OGTDWV post, you asked, “Is there anything vigilante au-related that people would like to see?? Just curious to know and looking for a bit of inspiration here to beat the giant block in my path :>”

I HAVE COME TO THEE WITH ANSWERS! For starters, (and of course if any of these go against what you have planned plot-wise, ignore it) I would love to see some sort of grapeduo moment where they’re flirting and someone in the CG just nonchalantly walks passed them and trips either Green or Purp and they crash into the other in an awkward blushing mess. Also, they do a duet at some point. This isnt exactly vigilante kinda stuff but I need it in my life.

Another idea I had is where Orange is learning to use his power and fight and Blue just relentlessly taunting him from the sidelines while eating vegetarian sushi. So Orange draws something to smash the sushi into her face and shenanigans ensue.

Can we please have an epic fight scene where Orange is bad at it too? Something dramatic, action-filled, straight out of Marvel and at the same time super dumb, but it’s amazing to Orange because it’s his first real fight.

I dunno, this was kinda just an ask for me to info dump all my repressed ideas into your fanfic. Me and my friend have been obsessed with AVA and AVM recently too, and I’m TRYING to get her to read Rhapsody In Green but she IS SO STUBBORN. Also, I just learned how to color text, so you know I’m doing that a lot.

Thanks!

~~Gale <3 (he/him today)

(Did I just sign a post that ain’t anonymous? Yes, yes I did.)

OHHH MY GOSHHH THESE IDEAS ARE SO SO SO FUNN...

I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THESE HAPPENING IN THE FIC- would be good things that may happen actually woahh

The grapeduo thing- THAT CAN AND WILL HAPPEN. MARK MY WORDS. Not too sure about the duet but WE'LL SEE!!

Orange learning their powers- that's genuinely a good idea for a chapter ft Orange and her powers omg.. and BLUEEE!!

And the last oneee.. ;)

I don't mind info dumping!! Its great to see that you like the fic so far (and I promise I'm working on it!! Its centered around Red this time hehe) and also.. WELCOME TO THE AVA and AVM FANDOM!! <3

Rhapsody in Green mention!! I underestimate that fic too much I'm afraid

Thanks for the lovely ask! Will definitely keep notes on those ideas!! <3

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Books I Read in 2022

I read a TON of books in 2022- roughly 62, (and 54 separate graphic novels/manga series, but we’ll cover that in another post).  You can see them all here- the print books start with Hench.

This was thanks to how I started listening to audiobooks while doing chores/working out in addition to reading, and some downtime at the office where I checked out low effort reads. So I thought it would be fun to just give some very quick overviews of the best books I read this year.

First up is:

 This is How You Lose the Time War by Max Gladstone and Amal El-Mohtar 

Deliciously lyrical and lovely, this novella tells the story of two dangerous women who are rivals on the opposite side of a war fought through time-travel- they taunt each other through letters and ever-so-slowly fall in love. I failed to finish this when I attempted it a couple years ago, I wasn’t in the best place and while I knew the writing was great, I had a hard time processing all the information. I’m really glad I gave it another shot with the audiobook- the narration is wonderful and drew me right in. I would to each letter and then read it in print, tasting each word again like a drop of sweet, dark syrup. It’s got a wonderful fairy-tale element despite being a sci-fi and the colorful picture it paints of time-travel and the ever shifting identities and forms the characters take on is worth getting lost in.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

I listened to this on audiobook, and it was a great experience. I still have an image in my head of huddling in bed late at night, the narration like a dark, icy wind rattling the windowpane, yet each sentence cradled me and made me feel even cozier under the covers. Based on Polish folklore, the narrative follows a girl who tires of how the villagers spurn and scorn her family for being Jewish moneylenders, so she decides to take matters into her own hands- but her business saavy and talent for multiplying silver catches the attention of some fearful supernatural beings who want to cut a deal. Her story intersects with two other women- one a princess on the run from a demon, one a girl with a family in debt and a cruel father. It’s a sharp and biting fairytale with a lush sense of a setting. I had a few matter-of-my-own-taste quibbles with the ending, but it was a wonderful winter journey.

One Last Stop and I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

One Last Stop follows a college girl new to NYC who gets in a romance with a woman who seems to be mysteriously bound to a the subway- and bound to the wrong decade when she should be in the 1970′s! This is a full on mega-cheesy, tooth achingly sweet romance, but for once it’s kinda laser-targets at my gay, awkward self, so I actually really enjoyed it. I wasn’t even bored by the sex scenes and liked reading them, which is unusual for me.

I didn’t enjoy I Kissed Shara Wheeler quite as much, but it’s still worth a mention. The protagonist is a gay girl trying to adjust to existing in a Bible-Belt school, who receives a kiss and a mysterious letter from the supposedly perfect fundie popular girl Shara Wheeler- right before Shara disappears. It’s a YA, and it does a good job capturing what it’s like to be a teen-in-denial of how much they love mess when it comes to love interests, and touches on some of the struggles being queer in the conservative area, while striking down the idea everyone should just move to New York for salvation.

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

This novella tales the tale of Yetu, a member of an undersea race descended from pregnant African women who were thrown off slave ships. She is tasked with carrying the memories and pain of all the generations of her people. It’s an affecting and gut-twisting examination of generational trauma and how one copes with it- is it possible to carry all that agony, or is it best to forget? The narration was a bit dry at times, but it’s a story that stays with you.

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy

Heartbreaking but at times darkly funny, McCurdy’s memoir about her relationship with her abusive mother and struggles with child stardom is worth all the hype, in my opinion. The writing is punchy  and the story is told in short vignettes that make for an addicting read/listen. McCurdy does a great job communicating the degrading horror of both familial abuse and exploitative studios, while sardonically highlighting the absurdity the abuse thrives.

Otherside Picnic Vol 7: Funeral of the Moon by Iori Miyazawa

Otherside Picnic truly has my heart. The stories themes of healing from abuse and trauma come to a triumphant crescendo in this volume where Sorawo decides to deal with the Satsuki problem once and for all. It actually inspired me to write a whole article about the themes surrounding trauma, abuse and recovery in this series and how wonderfully they’re handled, which should hopefully be out it couple months!

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Cows. Free Mustache Rides. Barbie. Nona is impossible to spoil. I got even more hype for The Locked Tomb series after re-experiencing the first two installments in the excellent audio books narrated by Moira Quirk, and Tamsyn Muir cracked my brain open all over again. We get to see a little bit more of what life is like outside the Nine Houses in this one. I found it a little more plodding than the previous two, but it’s still a great installment of my current favorite book series. I’m probably going to listen to the audiobook version soon, which considering I only read it a few months ago, that tells you just how much I enjoyed it.

Loveless by Alice Oseman

A YA following a university girl on a journey to realizing she’s aromantic-asexual.  Her fears and feelings of alienation drive her to make some bad choices and risk losing what’s really important. This book almost felt too painfully real- I’m not aromantic, but I came to terms with being asexual in college, and struggled in a similar way. I still struggle sometimes. But while the relatability was almost painful, I felt a deep kinship with this book, and these messy, silly teens and their messy, beautiful friendships. Asexuality is still so rarely talked about and represented that I’m really glad this is out there.

The Honeys by Ryan La Sala

A haunting YA horror, the story follows Mars, a genderfluid kid who was chased out of a fancy rich-kid summer camp that enforces a strict gender binary. His sister remained at the camp and hung out with a group of beautiful, popular girls nicknamed the Honeys. After she ends up dead under suspicious circumstances, Mars goes back to camp to find the truth, but now he himself is hunted. With spooky and visceral prose, some pointed and well deployed social commentary, and an A+ atmosphere, this was a great October read. 

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

I’d been stinging from disappointment from some books I’d been anticipating but found myself trudging through at times, so this page-turner was a breath of fresh air. The book is about a woman interviewing a movie star from the golden age of cinema known as Evelyn Hugo, only to find that her life was full of secrets and her seven husbands are far from the most interesting relationship in her life. The prose might be too simple for some, but I think it made sense in the context of a woman narrating her life to someone, and it made it very accessible. I knew the main 'twist' of the story, but there were lots more twists it pulled off well. I appreciate that Evelyn was so flawed, and that the book wasn't afraid to let the reader wrestle with a lot of the bad things she did while still showing areas where she deserved sympathy. There were a lot of parts I wish the book could have gone more in depth with (though in the context of a woman telling her life story, it did make sense she didn't in certain areas) and that the viewpoint character was a little more developed, but overall I really enjoyed this as a quick read.

Norse Mythology By Neil Gaiman

A great primer on Norse myth- there were only a couple of these I knew in detail, with a few other I knew about vaguely, and I found it to be a really entertaining and accessible read. Probably not as useful for a Norse Myth know-it-all, but it did a good job piquing my interest.

Bonus reads- these weren’t quite five stars, but were interesting enough to be worth mentioning!

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith

In Hell, there’s a library for unfinished stories. The problem is, the characters sometime escape their stories and cause mayhem. It’s up to Hell’s librarian to wrangle them. This had a killer premise and likeable characters, but I found the narrative a little detached and thought it tried to do a little too much at once. Still definitely worth checking out for fans of stories about stories.

 Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu

I read Dracula this year, but I found the classic lesbian vampire story held together a bit better overall, even if the ending was really anticlimactic. I loved the titular vampire. You can check out my reactions here!

T.J. Powar Has Something to Prove by Jesmeen Kaur Deo

This was a really sweet little YA story about an Indian-American girl dealing with the stigma around her body hair. I did find the debate parts a bit dull though, despite the fact I was in debate in high school

Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott

 A story steeped in Jewish folklore where two siblings inherit a Baba Yaga house. I found the middle a bit of a slog (and there were a few characters who didn’t have a real reason to be there) but the ending came together really well.

Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots

A temp worker in the henchmen-for-supervillains business gets injured by a hero, and nursing a grudge, uses her statistics know how to destroy the superheroes in creative ways. Her talent catches the eye of the premiere villain, and she gets in deep. It was a really creative concept and biting look at the gig economy and the world of celebrity, and I enjoyed a lot of it! While the heroes are assholes, the stuff the villains do to them (and especially their families) can get pretty uncomfortable, which I found interesting in a morally-grey way but I did wonder about the weird fixation the book had with kidnapping children. I know it’s a go-to for supervillains, but it’s still weirdly overused. And while I don’t mind body horror, the ending was so fixated on it that I actually had to flip ahead to get through it, it was so repetitive and a little bizarre. Still, it stuck in my head and I’m down for a sequel.

---

It was a good year in books and I’m looking forward to the next one!

[lunicho]

I hope you had a lot of fun at the concert !! What were some of your favorite parts?

-😵‍💫

YESS I HAD SO SO SO MUCH FUNN i definitely need to get closer seats next time cuz ughhhrhrhrj i forgot how much i love their music <3 some highlights were how they kept having us bark and it made them so happy and giggly like yeonjun was like "ohh i love that i love it" and then they used us barking to segway into cat and dog during the encore and that was so sp fun. the best part was definitely being able to vibe the whole time with my sister without any stress!! i also didn't record much so not stressing about recording and stuff helped too and i was able to just let go,, i feel really happy!! they're also genuinely so kind and funny like they had me laughing 😭 and they just always highlight how important it is to fully let go and have fun at their shows and i really love that so so much. growing pains, farewell neverland, and deep down genuinely changed my life i think like they had my jaw on the floor AND THE KILLA????? i creamed like that song is so good and they're so talented and all their songs are just so fun and such a vibe irl I LOVE TOMORROW X TOGETHER 💔 WAIT EDITING THIS CUZ ANOTHER HIGHLIGHT, they had these like streamer confetti that was like really long and shot out lines of confetti but everytime it did it covered the boys in confetti like yeonjun fully got twisted up in the confetti and so did beomgyu like it was wrapped all around them and they were being so silly about it like they started strutting down the stage 😭 editing again but before the concert me and my sissy went to walmart and there was a sweet lady selling bracelets outside the store and instead of letting me pick one she handed me a really pretty and colorful one and she told me "this one matches your personality" LIKE 💔💔

[smallfry372659]

care to share more about yourself, lil buddy?

:> ye of course!

Everyone CALLS me lil budy my real nam is diferent. Salmo titles chang when we do cool stuf sometimes! I'm stil super lil so my title moves round a bunch. Somtimes our tribe is befor our title if the tribe is like salmo royalty or their OMEGA tasty

I got a new name now tho cause of what we did!!

Sib gona have to typ it...

Moon-Roaring Feaster of The Dreaded Ooze, Son Of Black-Fin, Savior of Salmon.

Ther we go!

Big sib funne enough had a name change to! They WERE Born Of The Land, Defender Of Home or smth lik tat. Now it's MUCH longer. Oh il let em type it again!

Star-Touched Slayer Of The Dreaded One, Tenacious Defender Of The Claimed Waters, Salmon-Souled from the Land Above

Ye I wasn't gonna be abl to typ AL of tat

Mamaws gav us the new 1s wen we went home an told everyon what hapened up in space wit the big fuzy guy. Elder salmos had to say yes befor we could use em.

ANYWAY

Big Sib's name they use wit OTHER land people is Cheveil-

<Chevelle, lil bro...>

Yea that! Salmoname is to long for land people! Chevy is like... 19 land people years old, an they're a yello octopus. They use they/them/it!

An last is Mamaws! She's our mama, an shes a Maws! She foumd Chevy as a lil octo an then me as egg, before she got all big. She lets us go for rides on her back! Chevy cant handle water AS good as other salmon but stil beter than other land people...

I think that's it??

O rite my fav food is all of it, my fav color is yello, an my pronouns are he/they/it

(Mine are he/him)

[fearfylsymmetry]

15 questions tag 15 friends here's to my love @nizynskis.

1. Are you named after anyone?

no, my name's more about its meaning than anything else. culture carried through the past etc etc you know how it goes

2. When was the last time you cried?

few days back i think? its uhh,, a general drama of regret, nothing i can't resolve quick

3. Do you have kids?

no. non natal milf so to speak.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i've tried most all of them i just do not like sports. i much prefer exercise, i don't need balls to legitimize moving my legs wink wink

5. Do you use sarcasm?

this is such a good question

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

faces because i need to build up my visual library. if you end up in my artwork well thats on you for being so drawable

7. What’s your eye color?

charred plains after the annual harvest, burnt enough for god to look away etc et al. there is a certain loss in that march lit haze, in the shifting plumes of smoke where unfamiliar faces reside

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings for me, as a general trend. horror movies are always good but after a long day you just want to watch someone be happy. hope transplanted through the silver screen.

9. Any talents?

well i draw and write and try to sound very smart on my academic papers and maybe one day ill be able to do a kickflip on my skateboard. ohh i can snap my fingers really fast too

10. Where were you born?

hospital

11. what are your hobbies?

drawing painting writing reading and one day ill learn to play every instrument. ooh yeahh learning too learning is fun god bless u pdfs of academic texts, i loveee hoarding pdfs and images too. the amount of pdfs i have.... the plan is to get sooo good at these i bag oscars, palme d'ors, bookers, hugo awards etc et al ad hominem

12. do you have any pets?

no i dont think i have the patience to take care of one. i just sublimate my love to my friend's pets and any stray cats and dogs that like me and dont look like they'll give me a scary infection (spoilers i just walk by with a smile)

13. How tall are you?

compressed industrial pipe standard regulation malleable plyable and god knows im impressionable

14. favorite subject in school?

well in my school days it was english and now i think maybe possibly it'll be post colonial literature and art history.

15. Dream job?

writer artists who will eventually love off her prize money. the goal is to just keep giving it away and retiring to the moors.

this was funn, tagging @transboydororo @moldavite @bloodcoveredgf @diatesticlematerialjism @legallybrunettedotcom

@vampk1ss @creepy-scrawl sorry sorry

[chaoticaptendyte]

Get to know me :3

Was tagged by @grippysockgang :3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Apparently after a sri-lankan first lady

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh well yesterday afternoon i had a terrible bout of acidity after lunch and everything hurt so bad that tears came to my eyes, does that count?

3. Do you have kids?

Nope, i mean i am only 20. But i want to one day, two kids, I'd love if they're twins too

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Uhhhh not really no, i use it to the normal extent ig

5. What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Hm, damn i people watch on the train everyday and yet i cannot for the life of me tell u this. I suppose the way they're dressed? And then their hands maybe 👀

6. What is your eye color?

Dark chocolatey pools for you to drown in :)

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

I am actually scared of horror so no, not scary movies EVER unless i have someone to cuddle into and can hide my face in their chest okie. Once my friends forced me to watch conjuring, i spent a month thinking my mom's possessed. Happy movies ftw. Forever.

8. Any special talents?

Hmmmmmm, idk lemme see. I think I'm kinda a decent photographer. I can cook well, don't do it often cause college and I'm kinda lazy and my mom does it for us anyway but yea. Oooohhh, I'm the official taster in our family. Anytime anyone is cooking anything and they need to know if the balance is right or something they come to me :3 which is pretty cool, i guess that counts as special.

9. Where were you born?

In an operation room ✌🏻. I was a C baby. Refused to grow any further so they had to pull me out.

10. What are your hobbies?

Um well it's been a while since I've done some of them tbh butttt- cooking, painting(watercolours), writing poems and fanfic and stuff, origami?, stargazing on my roof, doodling(which i do all the time actually), uhm watching shows and listening to music if it counts? There's prolly others too, just can't think of it rn. Ooh reading too, but it's been a while.

11. Do you have any pets?

Nope🥲, I've always wanted a dog though, a little shih tzu or fox terrier. And somehow my feed everywhere is always full of cats. I used to have goldfish but they kinda died extremely brutal deaths 💀💀💀 they kinda got sucked into the water filter cause the suction was too strong and got kinda uh shredded and another time one of the fish kima uhhh ate all the others 💀💀💀 so haven't got anything after that

12. What sports do you/have you played?

Rn i don't play anything, but i used to play pretty much all of em in school- badminton, tt, basketball, throwball, volleyball, football, cricket. Oh and i played pool once tho idk if it counts. Board games too lol.

13. How tall are you?

5'6 ^w^

14. Favorite subject in school?

Science :3 especially physics and biology. But i also loved English just as much tbhhh. Had a phase where i was super into history and geography too and also in like the fifth grade and twelfth i was super into math, like the satisfactionnnn of solving a problem is just *mwa*

Basically I've liked everything at some point

15. Dream job!

Honestly, not having one. That's my dream. I just wanna live in a nice little cottagecore world and bake pjes and cookies and just take care of the house and chill in the farm and look out at the world everyday and be content. If i could I'd love in the 'Anne with an E' world. Or in the hundered acre woods in a treehouse with Christopher Robin <3

This was funn, @astr0-j4y @gamerboyafterdark @alt3r-ego wanna join in?

[sammylovesmine]

15 questions and 15 mutuals!?

I do not have 15 mutuals but oh well

no real idea why I’m doing this but wooooo

Tagged by @elgascreamslikehell

1. Are you named after anyone?

-Nope! My middle name is from my grandmother but my first name was my brothers idea

2. When was the last time you cried

- Literally 30 minutes ago lol. I am not doing so hot rn I will not lie-

3. Do you have kids

- Nope, but I’d like to have some when I have a stable job in a nicer area

4. What sports have you/ do you play

- I used to play softball, volleyball, and I kinda did basket ball. But as of right now the only “sport” I’m a part of is a marching band, idk how many of y’all would count that though-

5. Do you use sarcasm

- What??? Who would ever use that?? (I love being sarcastic it’s so fun-)

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone

- How they interact with people close to them compared to new people. Like how does their behavior change, and how the people around then reacts to the changes in behavior. Shows how the person true is if it’s a big surprise for them to be nice or smth

7. What’s your eye color

- My eyes are brown! I think they’re kinda pretty, but I’m not too sure. A kind of light-ish brown though, not deep deep

8. Scary movie or happy endings

- Scary movies all the way! I love horror with a passion, especially psychological horror! So funn

9. What are your talents

- I’m not a bad singer but I’m also quite good with math and other school related things

10. Where were you born

- A hospital somewhere not in my home state (gasp, she’s American)

11. What are your hobbies

- I like to crochet, draw, read and run around like a dumbass. I also like baking and cooking, takes my mind off the world for a few hours

12. Do you have any pets

- Yes I do! I have a dog and I love her very much. I got her as a rescue some years back, she’s my little baby even though she’s getting old

13. How tall are you?

- 5’1 or so lol. I’m a shorty. I haven’t grown in years so I think I’m capped out

14. Favorite subject in school

- Aside from my music classes, it was usually math depending on the teacher. Always loved my English teachers though, but hated writing

15. What’s your dream job

-Something with stars maybe, or I would like to be a child’s therapist. Either something helping people or getting to look into space for hours on end

Tags! No pressure, hell idk if I did this right-

@spencerslove @belovedbuddie @carrierofthepaperclips @princehattric

[thesnadger]

Fiction/Audio Drama Podcasts You Might Not Have Tried Yet: Part 1

aka, some favorite podcasts of mine that are varying levels of obscure, but for one reason or another I want to put more attention on them. (I promise less than half of them are horror.)

I was going to make a huge post with all my recommendations in it, along with descriptions, notable aspects, CWs etc. Then I realized that was way too much so I'm breaking it into five(?) parts.

In this post I'm recommending Midst, The Hotel and Wooden Overcoats. Details for each under the cut.

Midst

Genre: Vaguely Western Scifi/Fantasy

Completion Status: Ongoing, nearing the end of its second season.

Premise: On an otherworldly frontier where the night brings monsters and reality-warping storms, there is a loner with a dark past, a shady businessman with a strange secret, and an eager-to-please lackey wound tight enough to snap. These three have little in common, save that their lives will be upended on the day the moon falls out of the sky.

All that said . . . the real stand out aspect of Midst is its unique narration style. The whole story, voices and all, is told by three narrators who switch back and forth, sometimes interacting with each other and building on each other’s momentum. It’s genuinely hard to communicate just how well this works, how insanely fun it is and how much it keeps the energy of the story high. You'll just have to listen to an episode and hear it for yourself.

Why It Stands Out: There's a lot that stands out about Midst. The production value is great. The cast is colorful and endearing (Moc Weepe in particular is a delightful little bastard.) The worldbuilding is interesting and the website has (entirely optional but fun) in-universe documents expanding on the world and characters.

Content Warnings: Several episodes contain moderate violence and mild body horror, as well as some generally scary situations. One episode (S1E18) involves an act of police brutality, (from a weird scifi/fantasy police force.)

The Hotel

Genre: Horror

Completion Status: Ongoing, in its fourth season.

Premise: Someplace beyond time and space is The Hotel. Guests are checked in and taken to a room where they meet a terrible, violent end. Facilitating these nightmares is the hotel staff, only ever referred to as the Manager, the Owner and the Lobby Boy.

Why It Stands Out: This is the sort of “chill horror podcast” I’d file next to I Am in Eskew, where you're listening to a very soothing narrator describe very horrible things. The first two seasons are still good but fairly straightforward (and with 6-10 minute episodes, very short – all of S1 can be listened to in just a little over 2 hours, S2 in about an hour.) A guest is introduced, they die horribly, boy that was fucked up huh anyway I'm Rod Sterling. We get a hint of flavor with the staff but it’s not at the forefront.

S3 is where it really starts to stand out, and S4 is the best one yet in my opinion. This is because both S3 and S4 have the staff at the forefront. The weird, interesting, often funny interplay between these absolute monsters who are all trapped in hell together is what really makes this podcast great. It's a recurring nightmare that turns into an office comedy so gradually you almost don't notice.

Content Warnings: Plenty of violence, death, body horror and dark themes in every single episode. Many episodes involve bugs and being chased or attacked, S2E1 and S2E5 contain child death. Also, this story is set in a hostile universe where powerlessness is a major theme, and the main characters are all very evil and do morally awful things. If those concepts aren’t good for you, this may not be your bag.

Wooden Overcoats

Genre: Comedy

Completion Status: The finale just aired, and it was great.

Premise: Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home on the island of Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn’t anymore. Eric Chapman, the charismatic newcomer has set up a competing business right across the square from Funn funerals, and the whole town seems absolutely taken with him. Obviously, this means war.

Why It Stands Out: First off, the comedic writing and acting is unbelievably good. They’ve got great character actors who do an amazing job of bouncing off one another. All the residents of Piffling Vale are charming and funny – the place has a great sense of character via its population. It’s such a silly, fun show that when it swerves and hits you with a gut punch of earnest emotion you almost don’t know what to do with yourself.

The characters are great – from the gloomy Funn twins Rudyard and Antigone, to their up-for-anything assistant and enabler Georgie, to the many lovable and wacky residents of Piffling Vale (Chapman starts out a bit flat being the antagonist, but he really gets good by the end.) And they grow and develop in a wonderfully natural way over the series.

Basically, it’s an excellent sitcom-style dark comedy with some real heart behind it.

Content Warnings: Themes of death, both as a source of black comedy and sometimes taken very seriously. (The finale for S3 in particular has a very earnest, serious look at grief.) Gross stuff occasionally happens with dead bodies. (i.e., embalming mishap leading to formaldehyde explosion.) Several comments imply that the Funn’s parents were pretty bad, though it's generally very cartoonish (i.e., “my father took me fishing and used me as bait.”)

[meteorherd]

no pressure to answer rn but What r those opinions on representation in the experimental era owo

YESSS okay well if i went through each film individually i think id be here for a good few days. so i'll try to keep it brief as possible. also since we're talking about people of color im probably only gonna mention emperors new groove, atlantis, lilo and stitch, and brother bear since everything else was either exclusively white or about like. animals or something. though im sure something can also be said about coding john silver to be considerably darker than the other characters in treasure planet but i'll have to think about that a little more

a very general trend, i would say, is that since a lot of experimental era stories are characterized by NOT being based on public domain content or fairytales, so the decision to make the characters be of color seems less like an obligation as it did with their older films like mulan or aladdin. and i think that sort of lends itself to how pretty much NONE of these four movies seem like classic "disney" movies or even by the same studio when you put them side by side. there was a looot more experimentation with style instead of disneys sameface so a lot of the characters actually seemed to HAVE ethnic features instead of being the same cgi template that sort of just looks like elsa or rapunzel but Brown. i really love this era in general specifically because all the movies seemed to be doing their own thing stylistically. id argue that creative freedom also ended up bleeding into showing different cultures in their stories too for this era at least

ohhh man okay well im gonna talk about atlantis first because it is SHIT when it comes to representation its a horrible white savior narrative. i do still like the art style, a lot of the side characters are interesting but they are all ultimately just that. side characters. kida herself is horribly sexualized and reduced to a plot device + love interest DESPITE initially showing hints of a personality before turning into said plot device but you know. anyways representation-wise atlantis is a white savior story through and through but i think what makes that sting more is that an INSANE amount of thought was put into literally every other aspect of the film. they literally got the guy who invented klingon for star trek to make up the entire language of atlantean for their 90-something-minute movie, only to have it barely show up or even get mentioned in the final thing. the first two acts of the movie and original script were 2 hours and 150 pages long, respectively. but they didnt give a shit researching about any specific culture for the atlanteans it makes me so mad. BUT i think atlantis is important to address talking about representation in this era of disney because its just a really good lesson on what not to do lmao especially in the sense of making a character ambiguously brown.

OK emperors new groove. i could go on forever actually. especially considering the original version was supposed to be kingdom of the sun which was this huuuge fancy traditional disney-style musical about kuzco falling in love with some peasant girl (if youre curious about that btw definitely check out the documentary the sweatbox! its on youtube), and i think ultimately turning the movie into a comedy is what saved it. i think there would have been a lot of issues with representation had it actually tried to be a renaissance-style story. but INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this movie actually sparked a debate on indigenous land rights, because the original ending had kuzco raze a rainforest to build kuzcotopia, and sting, who worked on the soundtrack, ended up pointing out how insensitive that is particularly because the story features indigenous south americans even if the movie's not a "serious" one. i absolutely hate when this movie gets compared to el dorado just because they came out the same year and feature indigenous south americans and theyre both "haha funny" because emperors new groove actually Did end up sparking a meaningful discussion on indigenous portrayals, surprisingly, AND it doesnt have a horrible white savior story or sexualize any brown people. that being said though it does still have the trope of a person of color becoming an animal. i think its like...easier to forgive here given the story context but like. still a tiring trope. -_- SO YEAH while this movie is obviously NOT a pinnacle of representation i find it really interesting how it basically set the stage for turning to cultures that arent white for their stories even before lilo and stitch ended up truly opening the gates for that in mainstream animated films.

and lilo and stitch i believe ive already sort of given a rundown on hfkjghkj but i do always contrast it with brother bear in the sense that lilo and stitch had a story that was built around the culture they decided for the movie, while brother bear quite LITERALLY had the inuit culture slapped onto the story. like would you believe me if i said the original story for brother bear was based off king lear. and it was about actual bears, not a guy who turned into one. one thing especially that i compare with these two movies is that lilo and stitch had an actual hawaiian chorus for their songs, while brother bear had phil collins and a BULGARIAN WOMEN'S CHOIR for the transformation sequence. because they thought it sounded "mystical" and "foreign" enough it makes me sooo mad. and of course the trope of a person of color becoming an animal again. yeah i dont have tooo too much to say about brother bear's rep mostly because of how last minute a lot of the movie's decisions regarding it were. i also need to point out this is michael eisner's fault as well. he wanted more films about animals because he wanted to relive the success of the lion king, so we ended up with something that was made even worse in context because it was supposed to be about Just Animals and then the idea of putting people of color in there was added in afterwards.

UMMM so my general consensus of representation in the experimental era is that i think emperors new groove actually surprisingly opened up the idea for it but then lilo and stitch ultimately ended up bringing it more mainstream. but atlantis and brother bear are both important to look at too because they show how ultimately, this era was about disney trying to relive its renaissance glory INCLUDING the racism from that era. but more creative freedom in the 2d departments because of the supposed "death" of 2d animation ended up allowing for some freedom in storytelling too even if it wasnt always necessarily Good representation. okay hopefully this all makes sense bye <3

[inthe-afterglows]

this ask has been a long long time due cause your fics have been my major source of comfort ever since i found them so this is gonna be a super long rant and im not even sorry cause your fics deserve all the appreciation and im so glad they exist. alsoo, hiiiii can i please have an eternity to scream about how every one of them is this overall total brilliance and love-packed masterpiece!????? your writing is incredible, like on every mortal and supernatural plane that exists.

"tis the damn season"??? I SPENT AN HOUR TEXTING MY BEST FRIEND AFTER I READ IT ABOUT HOW I WANT MY OWN PERSONAL LILY EVANS OR JAMES POTTER THE WAY YOU WRITE THEM (to quote red white and royal blue, "bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry") but seriously, your lily and james are so in love and its so fucing lovely and giddy and just present in every word, reading them feels like listening to a song taylor wrote about joe, or one they wrote together, like "yes i want that kind of love" which brings me to the next thing i need to scream about, THE TAYLOR SWIFT REFERENCES, just when i thought your stories couldn't get more perfect, we get the bumping in hometown and lily wearing a CARDIGAN to meet james from her parents house and even the other james and betty and augustine and william bowery's refrence too and the references in the proposal????? fucking golden.

alsooo i dont even know what to say about the orchestred coincidences universe series except for AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. unorchestrated surprises is top of my list of reads for a rainy day, it felt like being drowned in fluff and cuteness and i loved every fucking moment of it. james's parents and jily's friends and how you even made the dreaded petunia and vernon dinner so funn. and the whole plot and cuteness of orchestred coincidences was amazing, literally everything- how they met and then following each all over Europe and he played "love story" for lily (!!!!!!!!!) and their rambling voicemails, such great material for sirius's best man speech istg. also i absolutely loved lily standing up against petunia's bullshit in both of themm.

andd "illicit affairs" was an emotional rollercoaster that I'd take happily any dayy, the way you wrote all those little elements of the song into the fic, the dont call me kid, dont call me baby and you know damn well i would ruin myself and parking lots and like the subtler more emotional ones, "You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else" and "You showed me colors You know I can't see with anyone else" were just so perfectly potrayed in the lily's feelings that it honestly made me cry.

im convinced that everything you write is literary genius at this point. the oneshots only prove that more cause honestlyy "say you wont let go" (once again kudos on your music taste and the fic? so adorable i could cry) and "between the aisles" (that made my dayy and i literally danced when saw the notific in my inbox) and "the girl in the ivy house" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i realise that im literally word vomitting right now but i cant go without screaming about "at the beginning" because holy fuckkk, its like all the most interesting troupes everrrr in one!??? like anastasia au + outlander au + childhood bestfriends + a war period era fic + royalty and memory loss? just WOWWW. i literally love it so so much i can not tell you enough, Thursdays are marked on my calendar and i love the updates and the cliffhangers are torture but i love them too. james' and lily's dynamic in your writing never fails to take my breath away and with atb that was all the more true. also, when lily played "dream a little, dream of me" i loveed it so much, i just pictured her singing it like the kina grannis version and definitely went awww on how james humed it later when they danced!! the mystery is so good and the plot with lilliana evander and the order and time travelling is everything. cant wait for the next one and im honestly ready to jump into the fic and punch voldy moldy and his death eater cronies if they hurt james and rem.

i haven't read "amateurs at war" yet but safe to say that im gonna ramble in your asks when i do. and ahh speaking of which, im sorry for rambling on for so fucking long, i just really hope you know that you're a truly brilliant writer and paint magic with your words and your fics are appreciated so much

i don't even know where to start because this is making me cry (in the best way) and will forever be crying at "your writing is incredible, like on every mortal and supernatural plane that exists" :') :') This whole ask is so touching I'm just :') and please, come ramble in my asks anytime because I will totally ramble right back at you so strap in for a long response!!!

It makes me so happy that you like my James and Lily enough to text your BFF for an HOUR about it!! Like AGAJHDJASDLKJ and thank you for your appreciation of the Taylor Swift references!!! They were some of my favs to work in :):) Also tho, if Lily isn't wearing a cardigan at some point is it even a taylor swift au???? because like 'standing in your cardigan, kissing in my car again'

Sirius' best man speech would've been equal parts epic and embarrassing for them both ahahahhaha Fluff and cuteness was basically my whole vibe when writing these fics!! I'm so glad you liked James' parents because that bit was one of my absolute favourite pieces to write and yes the dinner with Petunia and Vernon as well ;) And I'm so happy you mentioned the rambling voicemails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just trying to give illicit affairs it's due respect because it's one of my favs and hearing you talk about how you think I portrayed all the emotions in the song so well has me so soft right now!!

"im convinced that everything you write is literary genius at this point" actually deceased after reading this!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! <3 <3 And so so excited that you've even read my older fics!! The Girl In The Ivy House and Say You Won't Let Go will always hold such a soft spot in my soul for me so beyond happy that you liked them!!! And you danced when Between the Aisles came out?????? Again SO SOFT RN!!!

ATB does have a lot of troupes I just hope I'm pulling them off!! Thursdays are marked on your calendar??? *insert heart eyes x100000* AHHHH so so happy you liked the Dream A Little Dream Of Me part!!! It was one of my favs to write!! I know I'm the writer but can I also jump in with you to punch out Voldy and his cronies? Pls & thx. Don't wanna say too much because spoilers but I hope you enjoy the rest as much as you've enjoyed the start!!!!

Please don't be sorry for rambling in my asks!! This literally made my entire day/week/month/year/decade/century!! <3 <3 <3

[jilytho]

Fake Laughs and French Fish

"You laughed in a restaurant but you have a really ugly laugh so I thought you were choking" au. The opposite of a meet cute bc James is an idiot. idk what this is but Happy Jilytober!

Read below or on AO3 or FFNT

It was James’s least favorite kind of restaurant. The kind of place where sure, the food is good, but the portion is barely big enough for a snack and the music was too soft and the tablecloths were too stiff and there were too many types of forks that he didn’t know which was meant for salad and which was for stabbing into his thigh. 

All places should have prices on the menu, smarmy little French places were not an exception. But Peter’s birthday had been last week and James had missed the party to deal with a work emergency so he owed him dinner at Peter’s choice of restaurant. And of course, Peter had to pick the most pretentious place in the city. 

Sirius and Remus were there as well, of course, they could hardly go anywhere without them. It was exactly the kind of place Sirius grew up in, and although he had gotten very comfortable with fast food since he was exiled by his family, he still seemed to fit in perfectly at this kind of place. 

As much as James loathed the whole joint, he grudgingly admitted it was worth the hefty bill to watch Peter’s whole face alight with joy as they sat down. His head was on a swivel, swooshing from side to side, tittering with excitement. 

Just as the young waiter brought their appetizers over, a mushroom risotto and salmon tartare, Remus was in the middle of thanking him and requesting more water when a large man at the table behind them snapping his fingers, head turned to look at the waiter. “Well, that’s just rude,” Remus murmured under his breath. James and the waiter both watched to see a large beefy man glaring over at them, beckoning the waiter with two fingers in a way that made James’s skin crawl. He was sitting with two women, James could see the whole table quite easily when looking past Remus’s right earlobe. The woman on Whale Man’s right looked like she was being choked out by her string of pearls, lips pursed, a nose slightly too sharp for her face, and what appeared to be a stick up her ass considering the daggers she was shooting between the other woman at the table and the waiter. His eyes found the second woman, the one being subjected to Miss. Bony Lady’s eye daggers and was shocked he hadn’t noticed her the second she sat down. That hair was not something that should ever go unnoticed by anyone. 

He couldn’t even see her face, as she was hiding it between her hands, and glaring down at the table, but he found himself craning his neck, trying to get a glimpse. There were waves of hostility trolling off of her and every element of her body language seemed to be screaming “DO NOT ENGAGE” . Her hair was forming a wall of fire, curtaining around her face, protecting her from the angry glares of her dinner mates. As the waiter walked over to their table, after nodding politely at Remus, he watched her emerge from her hands to grimace up at him apologetically.

He couldn’t hear what the whale man was saying, and subconsciously heard Peter start to tell some story about work and dish out portions of their appetizer, but he couldn’t pull his eyes back yet. The girl was flushed and glaring at the bony woman, saying something hushed but clearly angry. Her nose was scrunched up, nostrils flared and as angry as she looked he started to wonder if she’d giggle if he booped her nose, all scrunched up like that. Started cringing at himself for thinking about something as ridiculous as that. 

From his distance, he couldn’t make out the color of her eyes, just that they were bright and sparkling and even from ten feet away he could feel the passion and emotion coming off her. 

When the waiter had finally left, dismissed with an angry wave of Whale Man’s hand, he watched the red head roll her eyes, and twist her neck like cracking it would release the anger built up in her. He wondered how creepy she would find him if he offered to massage the shoulder for her, maybe there was some chiropractor-esque or glowstick pickup line he could use to impress her. Cheesy lines had never done him good in the past but she looked like she could use a laugh, maybe she’d think it was funn-

“Right, James?” James tore his eyes away from the girl to find all his friends staring at him, looking for his agreement on something James had not heard a single syllable of. 

“Erm, yeah, right. Of course,” he nodded strongly, reaching for his water to gulp down and give himself a chance to calm the flush slowly rising up his neck. 

Peter looked pointedly towards Remus, “See I told you, Lupin.”

As James busied himself with pushing risotto onto his spoon- the smallest spoon closest to him, was that meant for desert?- he carefully ignored Remus’s eyes on him, silently watching James and nodding to Peter. 

“Mhm, Pete. Looks like I was mistaken.” 

The rest of the course went by smoothly, James kept his eyes off of the Magical Mystery Woman as best he could, forcefully making himself enthusiastically engaged in Sirius’s discussion of the lineup of next week's game. He was in the middle of making an argument for why Johnson should start as center, not Malinsky when he got stopped mid sentence by Whale Man clearing his throat loud enough for half the bloody restaurant to hear and his entire argument went to shit. 

Honestly, who did this bloke think he is, the bloody Prime Minister? Mystery Woman was too perfect to be putting up with this. Why would she go out in public with this oaf? Was he her brother? She seemed perfect but having him as a brother-in-law would really put a damper on the future marital bliss. She was gripping her knife so tightly it had to hurt, maybe he should offer up his own hand to squeeze instead, that’d be less painful he was sure. No. No, that was weird. He shook himself again and wrenched his eyes back to Sirius and resumed his argument.

They were just getting ready to clear their plates and ask for the desert woman when it happened. Mystery Woman’s table was still on their main course, she had ordered the fish, exactly the same meal James had eaten. Was that a sign of compatibility or what? If anyone had asked him later he would have sworn he was paying full and complete attention to Remus’s story of Dale from accounting messing up again but he was somehow also subconsciously completely and totally aware of every single one of Mystery Woman’s movements because he just knew she had just placed a delicate bite of fish on her fork and was chewing lightly when she let out this hacking, squawking, horrific noise. 

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god she is choking. My dream girl is choking and is going to choke on fish and DIE before I even learn her name. If she dies before I know her name I won’t even know what funeral to go to and how to mourn her properly and how would I even introduce myself at that funeral, ‘Hi, I stalked this girl from ten feet away and fell in love and will now live the rest of my life single and alone.”

If anyone were to have asked, he was positive he was still sitting at the table, nodding along with Remus. Somehow, without his conscious noticing, he had thrown back his chair and jumped to his feet, sending his chair falling backwards, narrowly missing a passing waitress. He practically leaped across the empty space, flown to behind her chair, gripped her shoulder tightly, and began to slam his hand against her back. 

“Ma’am, miss, oh my god are you alright? Can you breathe? Can you hear me, miss, oh my god WE NEED AN AMBULANCE, breathe ma’am breathe!” James yelled at her, pounding against her back, mentally preparing to perform the heimlich maneuver, he had never learned it properly but he saw it on a crime show once and it worked there maybe it would work now? He was really regretting not taking that First Aid class with Remus when she suddenly yanked herself out of his grip, leaping to her own feet and spinning around to face him, red hair flying into his mouth as she turned. 

Green. Her eyes were green. Green and bright and shining and gorgeous, oh my god she really can’t die now. 

“Oh my god, are you alright??” He reached out again to grip her shoulders tightly, had him slamming on her back dislodged the fish? Would she live? Was he a hero? 

“I will be when you explain why you just hit me repeatedly.” She crossed her arms over her chest, seemingly cross. 

His eyes widened and he looked around for someone else to agree and call him a life saving hero. Whale Man and Bony Lady looked bewildered, like he had just suddenly sprouted into a fish, instead of saving their dinner mates life.  All across the surrounding tables, he was met with concerned stares and the mortifying sinking feeling that he had completely misread the situation. 

“I- um. I saved you! You were choking! I saved you….. Right?” He dropped his hands from her shoulders, one immediately going to fix itself in his hair, face burning bright red. 

“I wasn’t choking, why did you think I was choking? Are you a doctor?”

He could hear Sirius laughing now. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. “No, just erm- a concerned citizen? Trying to ah, do my civic duty, preventing fish related deaths, I- erm- I’m sorry I really thought you were choking you made like a hacking sound I thought you were dying, I really just wanted to help” he tugged on his hair, averting his eyes to the floor. Not only did he ruin his chance of getting Mystery Woman to fall in love with him but now he has basically assaulted her, dear God he is never going to live this down. 

“That was a laugh.”

His eyes shot up to meet hers, “A what?”

“A laugh. I was laughing.”

“That was not a laugh. That was a deadly sound. Nobody in the world has a laugh that horrible.”

“Hitting me AND insulting me now, wow this is really my lucky day.” 

James’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t even wrap his brain around the fact that he had just insulted her laugh just that this seemingly magnificent girl laughed like THAT. He couldn’t help the little chuckle that escaped him. 

“Thats your real laugh? Oh my god I’m so sorry.” 

“Sorry for insulting me or sorry that that's what my laugh sounds like?”

“Erm… both?” 

She giggled then as well, light and small, and very, very different from the choking sound he heard earlier. 

“See!” He pointed at her accusingly, “now that’s a laugh! That sound before was a dying bird and I won’t have you tell me otherwise.”

“Well,” her eyebrows lowered and she leaned in a little conspiratorially, whispering her next words, “the joke wasn’t actually very funny. I suppose my fake laugh may need a little more work before I attempt to use it so publicly again.” 

The two shared a grin and wow was he screwed. 

“You know,” he leaned in again, “I’ve been told all my laughs are top notch, fake and real, and if you were every interested in some tutoring, I suppose I could-”

“Ahem,” Whale Man cleared his throat again, “If you’re done disrupting our evening, I would very much like to return to my meal.” An apology on the tip of James’s tongue when he was cut off by Whale Man continuing to blabber, “Honestly, the heathens they allow to enter this establishment. Absolutely zero respect. Didn’t anyone ever teach you manners? Of course you attract this sort” The last words were directed to Mystery Woman and all the desire to apologize to Whale Man disappeared immediately. It wasn’t her fault he was an idiot who started hitting her. 

He was prepared to say just that, and apologize to Mystery Woman, when she cut him off herself.

“Now you listen here, Vernon-” Mystery Woman began, red anger creeping up her neck.

“Lily, honestly,” Bony Lady cut in, “Just sit down and let's finish our meal and go, you’ve made enough of a scene.” Bony Lady’s tone was low, but sharp and cutting and seemed to send a shiver down Mystery Woman’s - or was it Lily?- spine. 

He had a feeling she would have kept going, but also had a burning desire to run from Bone Lady’s eyes. It felt like they were piercing straight through him. 

“I’m sorry,” he started loudly, one hand back in his hair, eyes quickly finding those incredible green ones, “I’m truly sorry for interrupting your meal and um hitting you and insulting you. Truthfully, you’re just spectacularly gorgeous and I thought you were choking and kind of lost my head a bit, I suppose,” his eyes averted quickly at that admission, missing the way hers started to fill with mirth and eyebrows began to creep up. “I’ll leave you to your meal.” 

He turned on his heel and returned back to his table, picking his chair off the ground and sitting, adamantly avoiding eye contact with his friends. He felt her eyes burning into his neck and stared determinedly down at his fork. 

“So you’ve gone crazy,” Sirius states, matter of factly with a shit eating grin, “that’s fun.”

“I thought she was choking,” he murmured under his breath. 

“What was that, James? Couldn’t quite hear you. Speak up now or one of us will have to beat it out of you.” Peter could barely finish his sentence before him and Sirius began to guffaw obnoxiously.  Even Remus was chuckling. 

James groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. “Can we please just go, I will pay double if they bring the check right now.”

“Oh Jamie dear, why the rush?” Sirius tutted, “We ordered desert while you were busy saving lives! We wouldn’t dream of leaving before Pete gets his birthday desert!” 

Muttering “tossers” under his breath, James set his jaw and raised his eyes to meet his friends, and not to look past Remus’s ear to Mystery Woman again. 

By the time desert had arrived, James had been properly roasted by his mates about twelve times over and they had slowly moved onto other topics, all being other times James made a fool of himself in public. Sirius had just left for the restroom leaving Peter with the task of making James’s life hell.

Peter was just getting into the climax of his own personal favorite James humiliation tale, the Koi Pond Incident of ‘09, when James’s bite of tiramisu was interrupted by a light slapping against his back. 

He spluttered and coughed grossly, ready to whip around and smack Sirius, assuming it was him, when he felt hot breath on his ear and a flash of red in his peripheral and completely froze.

“You alright there? Wouldn’t want you to choke. Just being a concerned citizen and all.” She murmured into his ear, teeth centimeters away from nipping it.

He turned to face her, gaping at her sudden closeness to find her smirking face mere inches away from his own. 

“Thanks for that,” he croaked. 

“Of course, always on the lookout. Doing my civic duty,” she winked. She winked. What the hell did that mean, oh my god, this woman would be the death of him. 

“Here,” she pressed a slip of paper into his hand. “Just in case you want to stop me from choking at dinner another night too.” And then she winked again, spun on her heel, red hair whipping him in the face and left with another tinkling laugh. James stared dumbly down at the numbers on the paper, memorizing them immediately.

“Holy fuck, James. What was that?” Pete stared at James’s dumbfounded face. Sirius chuckled lightly from behind him, apparently having returned in time to watch the entire exchange. 

“That, my friend,” Sirius clapped a hand down harshly onto James’s shoulder, “may have just been the future Mrs. Potter.”