#C3PO for Chancellor

[griffmeistergeneral]

I love the idea that Threepio can just go where ever the fuck he wants.

[badolmen]

time travel AU where r2d2 is the one who goes back to the clone wars but not in the standard ‘same body new memories’ way. now there’s just two r2s running around the galaxy: one trying to kill the chancellor and another that could be easily convinced to kill the chancellor. their meeting wouldn’t have any time travel ramifications besides doubling the number of r2 units trying to kill the palpatine. this efficiently doubles as c3po’s personal hell.

[dixieconley]

How did Obi-Wan not notice the thing with R2D2?? And what if he did?

Obi-Wan: We need to talk about your issues with attachment. Anakin: ::panicking, thinking Obi-Wan's found out about his marriage:: You had a relationship with Satine Kryze! Obi-Wan: … And Ki-Adi-Mundi is married. Jedi can have relationships, Anakin. We've talked about this. Anakin: … I think I would have remembered that.

[Many many past conversations: Obi-Wan: ::lecturing:: Attachment… the code… meditation. Anakin: ::busy tinkering:: Yes, yes, master. Whatever you say, master. Obi-Wan: This is fine. This absolutely will not come back to bite me in the ass later.]

Obi-Wan: Regardless, we need to talk about your attachment issues. Anakin: What issues? You just *said* marriage is okay. Obi-Wan: ::derailed:: What's that about marriage? Anakin: This isn't about me and Padme being married? Obi-Wan: … Obi-Wan: No. Anakin: This is about what I did when my mom died then, isn't it? Obi-Wan: … Anakin: ::getting defensive:: They deserved it! Tuskens are animals. Obi-Wan: ::rubbing his nose:: Anakin. Stop guessing. You're literally making this worse with every word out of your mouth. There happens to be a Tusken Jedi. You've *met* him. Anakin:: ::sheepish:: Oh. So, um, what's this about then? ::finally listening for the first time in the past three years:: Obi-Wan: I came here to talk to you about the salvage operation you ran to rescue R2D2. Anakin: ::puzzled:: Master? You ordered me to go on that mission. Obi-Wan: ::pinching his nose:: Anakin, you do realize that the mission would have been completely unnecessary had you just wiped the droid as per procedure? Anakin: But R2's my buddy. I wouldn't do that to him. Obi-Wan: You got all but two of the men who went with you killed in an attempt to rescue a droid! Anakin: So? I would have done the same for Padme. Or Ahsoka, Obi-Wan: … Obi-Wan: You see no issue in trading sentient lives for an inanimate object. That, Anakin is the very definition of attachment and why you either see a mind healer or go to Jedi jail. Anakin: What? You can't make me see a mind healer! Obi-Wan: You're right. Jedi Jail it is. Anakin: Noooo! I'm gonna tell my good friend the Chancellor on you! Obi-Wan: ::fed-up with everything and feeling both sassy and sarcastic:: Oh, and what's he going to do, order the clones to turn on us and massacre all the Jedi right down to the initiates in the creche? The Force: ::shouting:: YES!!! Obi-Wan:: ::facepalm:: That absolutely came back and bit me in the ass.

Later: Cody: You have a Jedi jail? Obi-Wan: No. Cody: Sir? Obi-Wan: Seemed like a safe bet. ::bitter: He obviously ignored everything else I tried to teach him. Cody: Jedi can marry? Obi-Wan: Yes. Cody: Jedi. As in you. Obi-Wan: As in... Cody: ::suddenly two inches closer:: Obi-Wan: ::squeaking:: Me? Cody: ::smoulders:: Obi-Wan: After the war. Chain of command. Would be inappropriate. Because reasons. Cody: I see.

Two days later: Fox: ::eyeing the assortment of munitions Cody's just laid on his desk, including, but not limited to, slug throwers, thermal detonators, a handful of droid poppers and a rotary cannon:: So you say that the chancellor's a direct threat to the military command of the GAR and that I get to kill him if I agree to mute my external audio pickup and follow your orders? Cody: Yes. Is there a problem? ::looms menacingly:: Fox: ::jumps up:: No takesies backsies! Thorn! Thire! It's Lifeday and Cody's just got us all a present!

~~~

Palps gets wrekt. The Corries have the Best. Day. Ever.

Cody and Obi-Wan swear the riduurok. No one is surprised.

The mind healers ending *building* a Jedi jail just so they don't have to listen to Anakin whine any longer. (R2D2 has the option of joining Anakin. Which, no. C3PO is welcome to that. R2D2 is having none of that shit. Time to head back to his original family -- the handmaidens of Naboo. Who will let him have a little murder. As a treat.)

[b-else-writes]

The Jedi Are the Elite, Not the Underdogs in the Prequels

I cannot believe i had to read with my own two eyes a take that the Jedi in the Star Wars Prequels occupy some of the lowest rungs in society because something something "they're meant to be Buddhist monks!!" and "it's based off the Hidden Fortress and the Jedi are the two peasants!!!" - what an utterly brain-dead take that fundamentally misunderstands how the Jedi are actually portrayed in the story, fundamentally misunderstands which characters from Hidden Fortress Lucas was grafting onto which character, and fundamentally misunderstands what story the Prequels were (badly) trying to tell.

So first, at the absolute most basic level, the two peasant characters in Hidden Fortress (which Lucas pulled most from for A New Hope and Phantom Menace) correspond, in Lucas' own words, to C3PO and R2D2 in the A New Hope, and Anakin and Jar Jar in Phantom Menace, NOT any of the Jedi characters. Obi-Wan, the only explicit Jedi in ANH, was inspired by Toshiro Mifune's character, who is, guess what, nobility (as men/samurai of a general status usually were in that time period). Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in TPM occupy that same role as well. It is Anakin (and Jar-Jar, who was expelled from his own society and an outcast) who occupies the lowest rung in society, because he's a literal slave and it's that very fact that drives the entire plot. Yes, Anakin is Force-Sensitive, but he isn't a Jedi in TPM, and he is always narratively positioned as being "not one of them" throughout the story (more on this in a minute).

Which brings us to point two - how are the Jedi actually portrayed in the Prequels? It's an old hat to be like "they're the Space cops" but, well, they are the Space Cops. The Jedi are part of the bureaucratic systems of the Galactic Republic. They can speak directly to the Chancellor and offer advice, they are dispatched to quell unrest in the Republic's name. Visually, they are designed to convey power and prestige based on Western cultural cues (large buildings with European facades, marble, white/beige clothes that are sweeping and regal, rare genetic magical powers, and of course, swords).

The defense I've seen is that the Jedi do not have power because they aren't in charge and have to answer to the Chancellor/Republic, but this is like saying, "the military doesn't have power because it has to answer to the President/Prime Minister", it's nonsensical. While the Jedi are referred to as monks and practice a veneer of vague Hollywood Buddhist beliefs, in practice, they operate like Samurai (because again, that was what Lucas was drawing from), who again, held high prestige and power in society. They are not the scrappy underdogs or the downtrodden poor. And they are certainly not slaves.

And that's where the fundamental thing comes in of what story were the Prequels trying to tell? Fundamentally, Anakin's fall is a story about the elites in society taking a child who is at the very bottom (a slave) and raising him up onto their level, while simultaneously having nothing but contempt for him, and then systematically failing him at every turn until he decides that the only solution is that the system is completely broken and we should do Fascism (for the record i'm not saying the Prequels tell this story well, and handle it with the subtlety of a brick to the face like Anakin quite literally paraphrases George Bush). Because the Prequels were written in the late 90s-early 2000s by an American man and are a blunt commentary on the elites in the USA failing and sliding into unnecessary war and growing fascism. It's a story about the fall of a society. And for this entire morality tale of Lucas' to work, it would mean that the Jedi are the Elite as well.

And they are - they're shown to be ineffectual and not very smart and their powers have grown weak and they can't see what's directly in front of them! They have become entrenched into the corrupt system. It matters that it is Anakin who occupies the lowest rung in society and not the Jedi, and that is why he is never one of them and what drives the entire story of his fall (for the record (2), this isn't saying Anakin was RIGHT to become fascist).

I think a lot of people try to twist this because they desperately want to love the Jedi (which you can) but can't reconcile that narratively they're portrayed as having messed-up very very badly and that the entire system that they were part of didn't work and shouldn't have been done that way (#maybe Jacen was onto something before he did Space Fascism 2.0), so they try to say that no, no, no, it's the Jedi who are the scrappy underdogs. But to do that is to just completely misunderstand and misrepresent what is actually being presented.

[ospreyeamon]

revenge of the sith’s tension curve

There is a thing that Revenge of the Sith does with its arc of tension that I don’t think it quite pulls off; an uncomplicated exciting beginning (cool fight scenes!), then a morass of dread and mistrust (boring politics and emotions), before the ending clarifies back into straightforwardness (everything is terrible but there are fight scenes again so yay!). I believe the intention is to take the audience on the same emotional journey as the characters, particularly the Jedi.

The film drops the audience straight into the action with Anakin and Obi-Wan. Battle is raging above the capital, but their spirits are high. The dream team kick Separatist ass and trade quips while doing it. They save the Princess Chancellor and the bad guy dies (in the sole discordant note). The Clone Wars are basically over! Anakin and Padmé are reunited! Hooray!

And then they turn around and realise that the Republic has been transformed into a dictatorship while they were distracted by the Clone Wars.

This is a problem that cannot be solved with lightsabers or action scenes. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was legally elected, legally given emergency powers, and he legally amended the constitution. He enjoys wide popularity and is supported by most of the Senate, the Courts, and the non-Jedi commissioned officers in the Republic military.

Palpatine is someone who the Jedi Council believed they could trust. Palpatine has always been complimentary and respectful of the Jedi, often seeking the Council’s advice, speaking out publicly on the Order’s behalf. If the Order can’t trust Palpatine, who else can’t they trust? If even Palpatine has become a bad actor, are there any honest officials left in the government?

People are hiding things from each other – hiding things from even their nearest and dearest. Padmé and Anakin are hiding their marriage from everyone on Coruscant but R2 and C3PO. The Jedi Council are hiding that they have begun to contemplate removing Palpatine from office by force with all that would entail from everyone not on the Council – and then even people who are on the Council after Palpatine demands Anakin by given a seat. Anakin is hiding that the Council has asked him to spy on Palpatine from Palpatine and Padmé. Padmé hides that the Delegation of Two Thousand has asked her to present their demands to the Supreme Chancellor from everyone not involved including Anakin. The Senators Delegation of Two Thousand hide their plans to pressure Palpatine to resign from the Jedi because they believe that the Order supports Palpatine.

It’s awful. Everyone is stressed and unhappy – everyone except Obi-Wan and Yoda because they have gone back to the warfront where things are simple and they trust all the people around them. Anakin is far from the only character who can sense something terrible looming in the future.

And then the situation explodes and things become simple, clear, and action packed again.

Palpatine has unmasked himself as the Big Bad. The characters now have enough context to realise he was evil all along. The Jedi obviously weren’t Palpatine’s rusted on supporters because they were the first people he purged to cement his grip on power. There clearly were Senators who the Jedi Council could have trusted to approach for help with the project of getting Palpatine out of power without tilting the Republic into another civil war because Bail Organa is willing to risk his life to help them after Order 66. Even Anakin is mostly very aware that the choices he is making are terrible.

Yoda is convinced that he and Obi-Wan can fix the problem by stabbing the Sith with their lightsabers. Yoda is wrong. He isn’t strong enough to best Palpatine – and more importantly, killing Palpatine won’t turn the Galactic Empire back into Republic or halt the Jedi Purge.

Which is the point I think George Lucas was trying to make with the U-shaped tension curve. The narrative that we are the good guys and they are bad guys and that if we defeat the bad guys so the good guys are in charge everything will be great is very seductive. And unhelpful. It’s easy to focus on what seems simple, exciting, and heroic at the expense of what is complicated, boring, and uncomfortable. But keeping a democracy in good running order requires a lot of boring work and time of spent addressing complicated, thorny issues. You can’t just wash your hands of politics because you aren’t a politician. You can’t just brush off bad behaviour when it’s from somebody you consider an ally. You can’t just not address long-term problems because they are messy, complicated, or divisive. Corruption must be constantly fought and guarded against. The rights of scoundrels and criminals and enemies of the state must be protected. Nobody can fix a political system with a claymore. If you wait until the state moves against you, then you’ve waited too long.

Unfortunately, the film doesn’t quite make it work. The consensus seems to be that the middle is boring rather than the slow ominous build in tension I think Lucas and team were going for. It’s a shame, because the idea is a good one.

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

(Leia at the end of A New Hope)

Han: You choose you???

Luke: ???

Leia: Look, if I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would.

[finnpoekenobi]

when you realize it was anakin’s own people that were Vader’s undoing.

it was HIS padawan that set up the intelligence system for the rebellion and caused a lot of trouble for him.

it was HIS r2 and HIS c3po unit that delivered the death star plans to HIS master from HIS daughter

it was HIS master that trained HIS son into being a jedi

it was HIS son that made vader realize that there was still light in him

it was HIS wife whose kindness was passed on to her children which luke inherited and made vader kill palpatine

and it was HIS past self that stopped palpatine from killing his son, sacrificing himself to bring balance to the force

[intergalacticnuisance]

so we all know fatima’s (@simping-for-fives) crack ships, yes? well my best friend, bless her, recently started reading fanfic again. (we both settled into fandoms we weren’t necessarily a part of growing up, but now it’s full force bc of quarantine. her’s is harry potter. mine is star wars. yes, this is relevant.)

anyway! we were facetiming and talking about the fics we’ve read when i brought up the crack ships of wolffe x c-3po and pong krell x chancellor palpatine. mind you, she knows very little about star wars. yet still, she commented and bantered with me about these lovely fics. here are some of my—albeit badly paraphrased—favorite quotes:

how did that—? did wolffe *severus snape voice* slip into his usb port?

maybe he has a vacuum function??

what if c-3po vacuumed hard enough to lift wolffe up? like a chair? (side note: my handwriting is hard to read. basically, what if wolffe, while in c-3po, was picked up solely by the vacuum, onto c-3po’s back)

(after explaining the pong krell x palps one, which i couldn’t get through because of the title, “are you lost babygorl?”) oh! so like in 365 days! wait [my name] why are you laughing? (i explain to her that i thought it was from despicable me, and thus could only read it in gru’s voice) [MY NAME] WHY!

(she doesn’t know star wars, and i’m bad at descriptions, so she just looked up “pong krell”) oh my god, that’s him?!

*laughing* ok but the fact that palps is a SUB? walking in there like “what those hands do—cough—four hands do?”

you know what, this is the defining moment. this is the defining moment for the human race because that one dude—what’s his face—had two dicks.

the conversation then led back to harry potter, so here are some hp/hp& sw crossover quotes-

trump and voldemort have opposite appearances (side note: i was not prepared to have this information divulged to me at midnight)

me, comparing trump & voldy’s posture: if there’s anything voldemort has contributed to the wizarding world, it would be a perfect example of good posture.

*very excitedly* ok but what if severus *snape voice* slipped into c-3po while krell *snape voice* slipped into severus and THEN krell could slip his longer appendage into himself!

me: i hate how you use the word appendage.

her, continuing: oh sorry, his bratwurst—

in conclusion i love my friend but we enable each other in the best worst way. we are ~cursed~ (and i wouldn't want it any other way).

[unholy-t-rin-ity]

Blog Masterpost

Reblogged

~Comics~

Omega copies her brothers

Tech and Crosshair insult eachother

Hey clanker!

Crosshair is protective of tech

Crosshair has oral fixation

Obiwan crying in spanish

Obiwan falling on cody

Drunk Obiwan

This is why jango didn’t fucking love you

Obiwan fell down a mountain

TBB doing haka

Supervising fox’s breakdown

Fox radio broadcast

Echo misusing scomp link

Don’t leave anakin unsupervised

I loved you

Fives fighting Ahsoka

Fives found a bug

Commanders went out drinking

Croissants found a lightsaber

Bly has a competance kink

Calling Cody dad

crosshair moment of weakness

Obiwan sits like he’s posessed

Clones are good bois

Space hooters

Tech being neurodivergent

Wolffe avenge you

Tech can’t see shit

Tech swearing

Don’t name the twi’lek child

plo koon being Dad

Jedi leave their robes around, clones have fun

~Text posts~

AZI in rice

Cody the WIFI boy

Scared Wolffe

TBB season 2 hopes

Sexy obi wan costume

Obiwan tries to quit the order

C3PO is impressivly annoying

501st incorrect quotes 3

Echo one inch taller

Imperial march playing from another room

501st incorrect quotes 2

tbb incorrect quotes 1

tbb incorrect quotes 8

tbb group chat fuck word

Wolffe whos this clown

Din and space dogs

Wolffe hates anakin

TBB incorrect quotes 6

The entire fandom to crosshair

Limited vocabulary

Tbb incorrect quotes 5

echo 501st brain activated

tbb incorrect quotes 3

Trooper cottontail

Fives barcode on thigh

tbb incorrect quotes 7

Anakin starts hearing background music

501st incorrect quotes 1

tbb incorrect quotes 4

tbb incorrect quotes 2

oddly specific star wars headcannons

Fox seduces the chancellor

Hunter is short, tech holds on hip

Tup recording documentary

barracks on fire

goodnight kisses

Obiwan is gay confirmed

What was really said

Day one seminar on how to command clone troopers

palpatine’s fourth zoom meeting

501st don’t get the joke

IG-11 and boba fett

Not all men

Greef Karga

Fox’s ct number is 1010

501st headcannons

Humorous scenes from the book

about the 104th wolfpack

How to write smut

Why tech’s armor is lighter

how tech got his name

tbb tag yourself

Wolffe being a mood

Clone wars how do you like your coffee

If fives met the bad batch

Plo is clone dad

Clones what non-military career do you think youd be good at

O66 if their chips were secretly removed

Clone wars ‘bloopers’

Palps made a shiny cry

You ignorant slut

~Memes~

Hunter selling echo

Caleb kicking crosshair

Tech is angry cat

TBB fuck tier list

Star wars fuck tier list

TBB and omega as text posts

How to negotiate a higher salary

Fox in VR

On all levels except physical I am a wolf

Fives didn’t connect shit

Rex and fives relationship in one still

Two bagels

TBB madagascar penguins

the senate meeting was cancelled croissants

Wrecker as text posts

Omega as text posts

Hunter as text posts

Crosshair as text posts

Crosshair as text posts 2

Tech-st posts

Echo as text posts

Right on schedule

They’re just dancing don’t worry about it

tbb as quotes from the office

regs as quotes from the office

Anakin becomes a problem

Look at all the fucks I don’t give, anakin

Clone troopers as memes

Inhibitor chip removal at claire’s

murder is okay art

TBB spoilers without context

Starwars characters as mulaney quotes

Tech is bigfoot

Tbb as bird memes

Hands are for echo

Fives careless whisper

~Gifs~

angry cute echo

Tech and Omega

Tech in blacks

Crosshair doesn’t miss but CT-9904 does

I won’t leave you, not this time

Rex is a good listener

Tech is a confident nerd

Wrecker the gentleman

Echo needs a hug

Where is my grumpy grump

Tech panics over info

We were brothers once

TBB 1.14

Crosshair in battle simulation

This reg we like

Tech in clone wars

Clones with real face

Every named clone trooper so far

Cody and obi like meercats

Crosshair smile

Crosshair tbb

Echo watching Rex

~Art~

Echo in the sun

Echo and tech

Bad batch back together

Bad batch in civvies

Tech and Wrecker

A wild tech appears

Tech and Echo fixing stuff

Badass Obiwan and Cody

Cody in suit

Echo and Fives

Clone trooper armour

79s

Hunter and Crosshair

Drinking coffee

Loth cats and wolfpack

Tech

Wolffe and Plo

Cody

Wolffe is ready to kill C3PO

Trooper shenanigans

Ahsoka and Obiwan

Neon Rex

Rex

~Photos/ Screenshots~

Hot Echo

Tech smiling

Echo is Majestic

Angry sexy hunter

Wolffe’s legendary eye roll

TBB barracks

Crosshair icons

Rex dad joke

~Fics~

returning from the dead is easier said than done

Rex kissing reader without thinking in front of people

Stress relief

Tech Savvy

The coffee house

Keep your captains close

Random tech headcannon

Omega and Cross and Lothcats

Bad batch headcannons

Mama wolffe

Routine affection

Talk about it

Soft echo headcannons

Mistletoe mishaps

Unexpected kiss

TBB game night headcannons

flirting with clone troopers

Deaf crosshair headcannons

Tech x reader

Echo and pop

Fives misusing protection crystals

Clones giving bad relationship advice

Don’t give five’s vodka

The TILF awards

Clone dad’s and the weird/creepy things their kids say

Annual jedi council holiday party

Anakin’s hand

Wolffe’s eye

Coming out to mando

Helping wolffe shave

SW characters watching shrek

put your clothes on fives and echo

Echo good baker, fives good chef

Echo’s missing blasters

Get the captain to rest

Night before thanksgiving poem

~Fake texts~

Commanders accidentally texting you

TBB fake texts

How tbb would react to you wanting a baby

~Other??~

idfk1

idfk2

SW writing resources

[fwtcanimelover]

Obi-Wan trolls the heck out of Palpatine au

This is where the events of the prequels and clone wars are similar, except Palpatine never gets the chance to groom Anakin. Instead of Obi-Wan finding out about Palpatine’s true intensions for turning Anakin into his sith apprentice during Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan finds out extremely early, like Phantom Menace kind of early. As a result Obi-Wan plays the role of the protective Dad/older brother and doesn’t allow Palpatine to have any alone time with Anakin. If Palpatine thinks he can harm his adopted son/baby brother, then he has another thing coming.

Obi-Wan becomes the bane of Palpatine’s existence and quickly makes it to the top of Palpatine’s kill list. To Palpatine, Obi-Wan is like a cockroach to him because no matter what he does he can’t get rid of him, that jedi will not die. Palpatine goes to great lengths to get Anakin alone, except that Obi-Wan seems to always be next to Anakin every time, if Palpatine didn’t know better he would say that the Jedi Master can teleport. He sends Obi-Wan to the other side of the galaxy and he still finds a way to be right next to Anakin. Even when Palpatine locks the doors behind Anakin, Kenobi still finds a way in, so far he has seen the Jedi Master jump out of a vent and jump/crash through Palpatine’s window just to calmly sit next to Anakin, there is a hole in the wall when neither of those options was available to that blasted Jedi. 

Palpatine had thought to use this to manipulate Anakin into thinking that Obi-Wan doesn’t trust him. Except Obi-Wan never goes through these extreme lengths of not allowing Anakin to be unsupervised with, to any other being in the galaxy except Palpatine. The only being that Obi-Wan refuses Anakin to be left alone with is Palpatine, and Anakin knows this. Obi-Wan trusts Anakin completely, which he tells his padawan regularly, he just doesn’t trust Palpatine and warns Anakin about Palpatine’s secret agenda for him. 

When Palpatine almost got Anakin’s mother killed, that blasted Jedi and meddling Naboo Senator intervened. Shmi recovered from her injuries and is now living with Senator Amidala.

Palpatine even gets a sign at one point saying “NO Obi-Wan Kenobi’s allowed!” which the Jedi Master ignored saying that it didn’t say anything about ‘Ben Kenobi’. The worst thing about this is that while the sign was up, Kenobi kept coming in with ‘disguises’ that had absolutely no effort put into it, how did his guards keep falling for it?! Young Skywalker do you really expect me to believe that thing is your emotional support Wookie, that is just Kenobi in a fur blanket, ‘Furi Wan’ is not a real Wookie name!

When Obi-Wan faked his death, Palpatine was overjoyed thinking that Kenobi had finally died, only to find him sipping tea in his office.

When Palpatine found out about the rumoured romance between General Kenobi and the Duchess of Mandalore, he had hoped that she would distract him long enough for him to finally be alone with Anakin. Only to find them both sitting next to a seemingly oblivious Anakin, glaring at Palpatine.

In short, every move that Palpatine does to turn Anakin to the Darkside fails, mainly because Obi-Wan keeps on ruining Palpatine’s plans. Not just Obi-Wan but Padme, Bail Organa, Satine, R2D2, C3PO, Ahsoka, Rex, Cody, 501st, 212th and the entire Jedi order are in on it too. The Anakin Skywalker protection squad.

Anakin isn’t bothered about Obi-Wan’s protectiveness when it comes to protecting him from Palpatine. In this au no one Anakin knows trusts Palpatine and warns against him. Given that during every meeting with the Chancellor, there is always the Master of Trolling himself, who doesn’t hold back a hint of sass, along with dramatic entrances and ridiculous/silly excuses aimed at Palpatine, with the Chancellor who is enraged by the mere sight of Obi-Wan, Anakin always finds these situations hilarious. Who needs a holo-drama when you have this. He gets into the habit of recording these meetings and uploads them to the holonet, which quickly becomes the holonet’s greatest hit because the public finds these meetings hilarious, what makes it funnier is that these are real meetings between a protective Jedi Dad and a sketchy politician. Many times these clips are played in bars and cantinas, where the patrons laugh and demand more. There are even memes and a sitcom based off of these meetings. Which greatly boasts Anakin and Obi-Wan’s reputation and popularity greatly on the holonet and lowers public perception of Palpatine. (In all fairness Palpatine completely destroyed the Jedi Order’s reputation, it’s only fair that they get to do it back). Which enrages Palpatine even more.

Palpatine wants to strangle Obi-Wan whenever he enters the room, but can’t do it without giving himself away especially since Anakin decided to ‘live’ record these meetings. Somehow that blasted Jedi knows this and gives him a devilish/cheeky smirk every time, which to an outsider’s perspective Obi-Wan looks completely innocent, but Palpatine knows he is secretly teasing him. There is also another annoying complication for Palpatine, if Obi-Wan ever did die, he would be the first suspect, because at this point the entire galaxy knows that he hates Kenobi, which is part of what people find so funny about these meetings.

At one point Palpatine demands to know if Obi-Wan somehow found a way to clone himself. Which the Kaminoens completely deny, Master Kenobi may be the master of trolling but he’s not that dedicated right? Would Kenobi really clone himself just to spite Palpatine? Turns out that Kenobi didn’t clone himself, but that doesn’t mean he is completely against having very convincing holograms of himself just to mess with Palpatine. Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, Cody, 501st and 212th laugh hysterically when they find out that Obi-Wan is completely banned from Kamino. Obi-Wan smiles smugly when he finds out the news. Since in this au Obi-Wan knows that Palpatine is a sith lord, which the Jedi and clone army know about, they’re just collecting all the evidence that proves that Palpatine is playing both sides of the war, so Obi-Wan doesn’t feel bad about trolling Palpatine relentlessly, in this au it’s his new favourite hobby. The thing that annoys Palpatine the most is that Obi-Wan looks completely innocent while doing it.

What is the final icing on the cake, is when Anakin Skywalker gifts Palpatine a picture of Obi-Wan for his birthday, because “Your Excellency you must really love having Obi-Wan around. I was afraid that you might miss him, so I got you a picture of him to always remember him by”. No Master Kenobi that is not funny, stop laughing young Skywalker!

{I just thought that this would be completely hilarious au. It’s times like this when I wish I had the talent to write fanfiction, but it’s 3 am and I’m tired}  

[nevertheless-moving]

Han Sonnow AU Part 2

Star Wars Time Travel Fix-It Alternate Universe #Twenty-Three

Part 1 Summary: Han and Chewie get timetraveled back to their clone wars-era bodies, meaning their dynamic is even weirder to an outsider cause Han smol now.

Han ends up on a republic watch list for spacegoogling the following (amongst other things):

chancellor corrupt proof obvious

palpatine where live

chancellor palpatine house map

past palpatine assassination attempt fail why

imperial senate district maps

children tiny hands advantages

coruscant republic senate district map

naboo men death causes common

wookie foods poisonous humans

senate building security

republic security guards

supreme chancellor security

map of senate building

how to meet chancellor

child how to meet chancellor of republic

children field trip senate

B a S i C a L L Y once things settle down a little bit, Han and Chewie finally have a sit down conversation about the future.

On one hand, both of them kind-of got roped into the whole main character thing in the first place, and despite the circumstances of their lives, neither of them are particularly political people. They could grab Chewie’s family, buy a really nice ship and live pretty happy lives under the Empire’s radar. They have enough knowledge of the future and charisma to quietly make a small fortune, not to mention unparalleled experience skating by under imperial notice. If they let things play out pretty much the same, they’ll be in a good position to land on Alderann a year before the Death Star, tell them about the exhaust port, and give the rebellion a bit of a boost when the timing is right. Who are they to make monumental choices about the fate of the galaxy? The republic is already corrupt and smoldering- maybe it would even be for best to just let the Empire clean house. Eventually the rebels might even rebuild something better from the ashes.

On the other hand, Kashykk. That pretty much settles it, and the two reluctantly start plotting an assassination attempt on the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. 

...Who might also be an evil wizard- Han and Chewie were a little unclear on what type of metaphorical Luke was being when he talked about the emperor’s ‘darkness.’ Either way the guy was scary enough to control Darth Vader, so! They’ve got that to deal with!

Han admittedly got a little overexcited with the spagoogling- in his defense, the Empire had really cracked down on freedom of information. Some creepy palpatine-era law flags the datapad’s address. Then, [Something, something]. He’s technically an important military leader, so naturally [something]. Not to mention the fact that the force told [someone] something weird was going on over there. At the same time, [contrived plot device] ... and Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi get sent to investigate!!!

*knock at Chewbacca’s treehouse* *Han opens the door*

Obi-Wan: *surprised to see a human child* “Ah. is there an adult home? My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is my colleague, Anakin Skywalker, we-”

Han: “nOPE!” *slams door in face* *(Muffled through the door) adorable human child roaring noises* 

look there ain’t a whole lot of advantages to having to start over on puberty, but apparently kids are supposed to be better at actually learning languages or something- stop laughing Chewie, Malla said I was getting better

C3PO: “His accent is most unfortunate but I do believe he’s calling for someone named CRHHWBCCRAAGH and saying the - pardon my language - ‘bantha fodder’ ‘found them again’” 

[stonefreeak]

As promised yesterday, well sort of, here’s another update of CK because it’s my birthday! As always, thank you all so much for your support!

Mas Amedda's trial comes. The Republic and holonet wait with baited breath for the charges to be laid out, for the evidence to be presented, and finally for the verdict to be handed down.

Obi-Wan, having not had anything to do with the final investigation at all, is about as on edge as everyone else. Mas Amedda is the first step. As the Vice Chair of the Galactic Senate, he has held a great deal of power and sway over the Republic at large. If he's corrupt... Well. It won't reflect well on Palpatine, whose trial will happen sometime soon after Amedda's.

After all, if Amedda gets convicted, it will mean that Palpatine either was involved or somehow didn't realise what was happening right under his nose for years. So no doubt is Palpatine hoping for a complete exoneration, for the evidence to show that Amedda has done nothing wrong. Regardless of the outcome of Palpatine's own trial, a conviction for Amedda will look bad for him.

When it comes to Palpatine, Obi-Wan isn't sure what outcome he's hoping for. For Anakin's sake, he hopes that the man isn't corrupt, that everything that Obi-Wan has found is simply some unfortunate coincidences.

However... He does not think that will be the case.

Not at all.

~~~~

Amedda is convicted on multiple charges of corruption and abuse of power. His punishment becomes a mix of monetary reparation as well as prison time. As Obi-Wan watches the Chagrain be led out of the courtroom—flushed and wild-eyed—he cannot help but feel a sense of grim satisfaction.

The more corruption they can uncover and root out, the better the chance the Republic has to survive and thrive and the greater their chances of finding a peaceful resolution with the Separatists.

Obi-Wan cannot help but feel like the war itself is one huge tragic mistake, created due to the machinations of the Sith. His feelings tell him that the war did not come about organically, it was manipulated. Perhaps if there had been less corruption and greed within the Republic, this plan, whatever it was and is, would never have been able to get off the ground. As it is, so many people have died in this war, needlessly and senselessly. Civilians, troopers, and Jedi alike.

In some ways, it's lucky that the Separatists use a droid army, because at least that means less deaths on their side and a greater chance for the Republic forces to outsmart them. On the other hand, they're droids which are programmed to respond in specific ways... Obi-Wan doesn't know if they have any sort of proper programming for the surrender of their enemies, beyond an order from their non-droid generals.

Not all droids are built to learn and make decisions, many are simply made to follow specific programming and never go beyond that.

Unlike the grunt droids, the droids in charge of things have far more reasoning power, he thinks, many of them nearing the sort of machine sentience that droids such as R2-D2 and C3PO possess.

Perhaps if they can uncover the Sith hiding in the Republic, if they can capture Dooku, they can end this war once and for all.

It is a future to dream of and hope for—as long as one doesn't lose sight of the present and what is.

Obi-Wan lowers himself into a meditation pose. Now he only needs to wait for Palpatine's own trial to see what will come of this whole investigation.

Perhaps once it's over, he and Anakin can repair their relationship and bridge the misunderstandings that clearly lie between them.

~~~~

The charges against Palpatine are far less plentiful. In fact, there are barely any at all. Only, Obi-Wan isn't sure if that's truly all there is, or if Palpatine has just managed to ensure that it looks like someone else is responsible for his actions... Though that may simply be Obi-Wan's own bias against the man. He truly does need to try and meditate on that.

Someone might even be convinced that perhaps Palpatine will get off scot free, in fact, early on it seems like it. But then the prosecution presents more evidence, some of it extremely compelling and ultimately Palpatine is convicted of a few minor infractions.

But perhaps, just perhaps... It will be enough.

However, it also brings something to mind for Obi-Wan, something he hadn’t considered at all before. Now he’s glad he held his words and kept back his suspicions and ideas…

Palpatine has barely had anything levelled against him at all. Amedda, on the other hand, has been convicted on multiple grave points. Perhaps Obi-Wan did let his dislike of Palpatine get the better of him, perhaps he saw connections where there were none.

After all… Amedda was second behind only Palpatine. If there truly was a highly placed leak in the Senate, one that has now been taken out of action and left the Separatists floundering… Amedda was relieved of his duties at almost the exact same time Palpatine was.

It would not be outrageous to consider that Amedda was using Palpatine’s clean and well-regarded reputation as a shield to hide his nefarious actions—some even so grave as to be outright treason due to collusion with the Separatists.

It makes sense. It’s a solid assumption, there’s more things that would point to that than the suggestion that Palpatine was the information leak. And yet…

Those reports.

The altered missions.

All those murdered Jedi.

All of it started with Palpatine. Obi-Wan cannot shake the feeling that it truly has been Palpatine’s doing. Even if right now, Amedda looks more likely to be a tool of the Sith—more biddable, no doubt more of a follower than Palpatine—Obi-Wan can still not rule out the possibility that it is Palpatine.

Regardless how few and minor the charges levied against him are.

Certainly, it could mean that there’s nothing else to find. He may very well be mostly clean except for those few spots.

But it could also mean that his skeletons are simply buried deeper. That he’s managed to keep his own actions without any sort of paper trails… Or even that he’s secretly enlisted the help of others, and so the mud ends up on their hemlines instead.

It is, perhaps, a paranoid line of thinking. Obi-Wan can certainly admit as much to himself. But with how uncertain the times are, with how dangerous the situation they’re in right now…

Obi-Wan cannot afford to give the benefit of the doubt. He cannot afford to take a chance on trusting someone. Not right now, not when everything is still so uncertain. The Sith Lord may well still be walking nearby, weaving their web and finding a new pawn to manipulate in their plans.

And if the time comes when the Sith Lord strikes again… Obi-Wan must be ready.

He cannot be taken by surprise again. He may have lived the first three times…

But there’s nothing that says he will survive the next one too. 

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

[spacegirlinorbit]

Help Me Understand

Part 1

Obi wan x reader

Angst, fluff

Takes place during ROTS. Y/n there to be by Obi wan side as he discovers the truth behind the abrupt turn of events in the war, Anakin becoming darth vadar, and eventually how he will come to fight him.

Let’s be honest now, I don’t know how the fuck Obi wan did this without falling to pieces and having multiple breakdowns on the spot

Angst prompts :“I don’t want space. I want you. ...I need you, please stay with me.” “You don’t have to face him alone, you’re not alone.” 

SIDENOTE: ‘//’ when its one parenthesis's they are talking through the force and when its double ‘’ like normal its being said aloud 

We all felt it. The shift in the force and environment of the entire infinite galaxy. Jedi all connected felt the buzz in the air and their connections faltering causing minor pain of links being cut without warning. The force connected the Jedi to all things. Alive and dead. The war that we have been fighting has taken a turn for the worst. It wasn’t hard to suspect what was taking place, but even I knew as I felt the confusion in the force right before my fellow Jedi fell. 

Chancellor Palpatine had called for Order 66. 

We were not prepared for our own army to turn against us, but here we are. I try to silence the force as it overwhelms with my sensitivity to see and feel the emotional tethers that connect Jedi to the force. Jedi face a war within their walls. The clones have turned on them and a power shift has caused a rift in the force. 

I, friends with Obi-wan and Anakin, have been asked to stay with Padme. To protect her while they fight their battles. I did not mind seeing as Padme and I have grown to be friends over the years as her a senator and me a Jedi. 

Many times we have been stationed on Coruscant doing our diplomatic duties to the republic. Only now I fear, those efforts were for nothing. 

As the pain fell away, I reached out to the force and let the force guide me to my brothers and sisters. My heart felt like it was being stabbed a thousand times over as they all fell with grace. 

May the force be with you. A tear ran down my face and I drew out of the force. 

Then I hear it like a distant dream, ‘My love’ whispers softly that I barely caught it. 

“Obi- Wan?” I say aloud with a gasp, he’s never called me that before.  ‘Are you okay? Are you safe?’

‘I am now, dear. I have just received contact from Senator Organa. I am going to meet him now and Master Yoda.  Are you safe? Are you and Padme safe?’

‘Yes, Obi. We are safe for now. I fear the clones will come for me any minute.’ 

‘Be vigilant and I’ll be there soon.’ He says and I can hear and feel the frustrations in his heart and mind. Confusing times and the stress on top of it all doesn’t help it. 

‘Stay safe, Obi. Please.’ I try to contain my composure on the outside but on the inside I can’t hide my dread and panicked state. 

‘You too, y/n.’ 

‘Obi’ I reach out a bit more with a bit of harshness like I was crashing into him. 

‘Yes?’ He breathes. I want to question what he meant before. My love. Sure he’s called me nicknames before but that’s nothing new for the flirty handsome Jedi master. But that felt different. 

I decide against bringing it up now. ‘Just...get back to me once you have received news. I’ll keep my comlink open.’

‘Will do, dove.’ 

The connection is cut. We pull away from the force and I sit on the couch lowering my head into my hands. 

“What’s wrong, y/n?” Padme asks standing by the window she has been staring out of. 

“Nothing. Just talked to Obi.” She looks at me confused and then her face resorts to understanding. 

“The force.” She says. 

“Yes. He is safe. Something has shifted in the war, but everything will be fine.” I say trying not to have the emotional pregnant woman burst into tears. 

“C3PO.” I say as he walks into the room. He nods to me and walks over to Padme. 

“The chancellor's office indicated Master Anakin returned to the Jedi Temple. Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be alright.” C3PO relays to Padme. 

I knew it from the moment I felt in the force earlier. Master Anakin Skywalker has fallen to the dark side. 

Padme can’t hold back the sob and pours out her emotions as she cries into her hand, hugging her body with the other. I get up and do my best to soothe her. Padme has been on edge when it comes to Anakin and with the senate nothing has been looking good lately.

“Come sit down.” I tell her and pull her to the couch. I know she doesn’t need to hear it to know what C3PO’s message actually meant. But I feel it within her and in myself that maybe there's hope for Anakin. 

I look out the window from the couch and see the jedi temple up in smoke and burning down slowly as it’s licked with flames spread about the temple. I don’t even want to try to reach out to Anakin for fear of what will confirm that I should be hopeless after all. Probably best for my protection anyway. If he’s at the temple now and he hasn’t detected a change in me I could be good as dead. 

So I do the one thing I never thought I would have to do. I cut myself off my the force. I hide my presence and make it ordinary. Like a switch has been turned off but a very powerful switch that will and can leave people wondering if I live or died. I just need to buy time in order for Anakin not to sense me. 

I watch out the window and as I suspected I see Anakin make his way through the other speeders and fighters in the sky. It’s now or never. 

“Padme listen to me. I have to hide now. Obi wan has told me the clones have turned on us Jedi. I sense Anakin on his way. He will be able to protect you now. Meanwhile I must go and see if fellow Jedi are still alive in the building. But please don’t relay any of this to Anakin. Just tell him I went out and I haven’t been back. Don’t let him know you know about the clones.” I talk fast knowing I only have two minutes before Anakin arrives. 

“Of course. Is he really-“ I can see it in her eyes as she hesitates to finish her question. 

“All I know is that he loves you. Have hope.” She nods and squeezes my hands as she takes them into hers. Letting me know it’s okay. 

Everything is not okay. Everybody knows it. 

I go inside Padme's bedroom and go to her bathroom. And hop on the counter to prop myself up into the ceiling vents. I climb through the ceiling vents so I’m close to where Padme and Anakin stand on the balcony. 

“What happened?” I hear Padme. 

“The Jedi tried to overthrow the Republic.” Lies. Anakin sounds different. Something is terribly off about him but with my force down to insure my safety I can’t figure out what. 

“I can’t believe that.” Padme acts well considering what I have told her. Her senator instincts must be kicking in.

“..Master Windu..” it’s getting hard for me to hear as the vents start to rumble slightly at the cooling system turning on. “assassinate the chancellor…”

No. I felt it in the force right before I cut it off. Master Windu had died and somehow Anakin was a part of it. 

“My loyalties lie with the chancellor.” Well damn be the republic now. 

“With the senate and with you.” He finishes. Maybe Padme is Anakin's only hope out of this. 

“What about Obi-wan? Y/n?” She mentions me as the system starts to fade out. I can hear them better now. 

“I don’t know. Many Jedi have been killed.” You can hear no remorse or sadness or any sort of pain in his voice. He barely spares a word for Obi-wan. His teacher. His friend. His brother. 

I pick up on their conversation and hear Anakin mention his mission from the chancellor. I must warn Obi-wan now. 

I climb out of the vents back to the bathroom and make my way down onto the counter and soon out of the room. Padme can be seen clearly in distress. 

“He said wait for me.” She tells me. 

“I know. Padme you can not let him know what you know. You’re pregnant as well and should rest. Don’t need the stress to kill you.” I joke with her giving her a small smile. She nods and heads to her room to sleep. I know she won’t sleep well without Anakin or knowing he is safe, but at least she is resting. 

I meditate on the floor in front of the large expanse of the window. I fill my body with its spirit and energy course my veins. My force has returned. 

‘DOVE! Y/N!’ I hear through the force immediately it almost makes me physically falter. 

‘Obi!’ I yell back trying to trace him through the force. Finally we collided and our energies reach out hand in hand to one another. I can feel him reach relief as he connects with me. 

‘You’re shaken. What’s wrong? Why couldn’t I sense you? I thought I lost you. Are you okay?’ 

‘Obi calm down. I’m safe. Anakin was just here to see Padme I had to hide myself from the force so he wouldn’t detect me.’ 

‘Oh thank the stars, I-I thought-‘ I can feel him sigh. ‘Please warn me before you do that. I thought you were gone.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ I try to ease by reaching out with feelings of calmness and serenity as focus on regaining my power with the force. 

‘I-‘ We both start and Obi speaks up again. 

‘You first.’ 

‘Anakin he is different.’ 

‘Master yoda and I have just discussed Anakin. He’s changed hasn’t he?’ I feel Obi Wan falter in his feelings. It’s an ache in his heart and he’s in pain and conflicted but it’s controlled. He was always good at controlling his feelings. It’s what made him the best. I admire him for it. How he is able to do what I can not most days. 

I have to tempt my feelings for Obi Wan down quickly. I can’t let him know. Never. We’re in a war. We are Jedi. And our friend needs our help. 

‘Yes, but I feel there is hope for him yet. He is strong with the force. He’ll make the right decision.” I pray my words will ring with truth. 

‘I know.’

‘Obi-‘’ 

‘I’m coming back to Coruscant. We have to figure out how to decode the clones.’

‘We?’ 

‘Yes, you’re the best at decoding well anything really. We could use your help.’

‘Then I will help you anyway I can. May the force be you, Obi-wan.’ 

Later that night Padme had received word that a senate meeting was to be held in the morning. Perfect. I can meet Obi Wan then as she is in the meeting. 

The next day, I received word that Obi was landing on Coruscant at the Jedi temple in an hour. I make my leave from Padme giving her a hug and telling her to keep her blaster on her just in case. I told her I was going to make myself scarce and left quietly and quickly from the Senate building to the Jedi temple. By the time I arrived I see Kenobi and Yoda have done the work of taking out the clones. It’s a sad sight to see the army that was helping you fight the war was just propaganda to fight against you.

(Part 1/2) 

A/N: THIS all took up ten pages on google docs and so I had to make a part 2 lol

[ilonga]

Hi there! :') would love to hear more about drown the temple (aka another ROTS AU, this time (mostly) compliant with the OT)!

hi Ann, thank you so much for the ask!! :D (and oops, this one got long,,)

drown the temple is more or less ROTS just a bit to the left, aka ROTS with more Sabe, no Temple Siege, and more Padme!! It's partially inspired by the au idea I reblogged a while back linked here. 

The au starts when Padme's pregnant and Anakin's off on the Outer Rim Sieges, and Sabe comes to help Padme out and stand in for her in the Senate as needed because pregnancy with two very force sensitive twins is rough. Naturally, this means Sabe's in the know about a lot more things in canon, especially regarding the Delegation of 2000, Palpatine's general untrustworthiness, and the relationship between Padme and Anakin (and the existence of Luke and Leia!! Though this comes a bit later, as she respects Padme's wishes to not pry too much into the baby during pregnancy).

The attack on Coruscant and kidnapping of the Chancellor play out the same as canon, but once Anakin comes back he learns pretty quickly that oh, Padme's pregnant, and oh, Sabe from back when she was Queen is here now and also playing decoy for her pretty damn often, so whenever he sees Padme out and about in the Senate or wherever it's about fifty percent as likely to be Sabe standing in - and it's worth noting that over the past few months Padme and Sabe have gotten much, much better at the decoy game then they've ever been before, if only out of desperation. He can tell them apart, of course, because he knows Padme and her force signature extremely well. (For now)

Things then go pretty much the same as the movies, with the nightmares and Council Seat and Delegation of 2000 and General Grievous, until the Chancellor's Office after Anakin's done his whole "NoO don't kill him!" schtick. From here, the dominoes start falling.

Number one - instead of asking Anakin to march on the Temple, Palpatine, knowing that by giving Anakin a Council Seat he's given him much more access to Temple security, tells him to lock down the entire Temple and flood it to the brim instead. Why? Because one, Anakin is supposed to be a mechanical prodigy and Palpatine might as well use that. Two, it's easy enough to explain away the Temple's demise to the Senate as a freak accident, and pin the "betrayal" of the Jedi down on solely the commanding officers in the field. This way, it's far easier to stomach for the more morally inclined Senators, and of even less note to the corrupt ones. 

As for the question of aquatic species of Jedi surviving, Palpatine decides that they can't possibly be much of a threat to him and, after all, he'll have his Inquisitors.

So Anakin drowns the Temple. And returns to Padme, as in canon, before heading off to Mustafar. And then Obi-wan gets back, sees the Temple, feels all the death, and realizes there's only one person who could have done this. But when Obi-wan goes back to speak to Padme at her apartment, he speaks to Sabe instead. And he's so distressed (and hadn't been in the loop about Sabe standing in for Padme anyway) that he doesn't realize it's not Padme he's speaking too. 

Sabe, who learns from Padme that Anakin is off to Mustafar, decides he's a threat and realizes she can't let him come back to Padme. So she decides to go after him and try to kill him. Obi-wan stows away on her ship, still not realizing she isn't Padme.

And Padme, who's alone at the apartment, goes into labor, winning a shining gold medal for Worst Timing Ever. Sorry, Padme. 

But wait, there's more! Remember how Padme is a leading figure in the Delegation of 2000? Aka a major threat to Palpatine? Aka Palpatine who a) does not know that "Padme" is heading to Mustafar and b) has absolutely zero reason to let Padme live (because let's be real, he never had any intention of helping Anakin "save" her either).

So yeah, there's a legion of stormtroopers marching on Padme's apartment, just a little bit after she's finally finished the excruciating process of giving birth with no one but a meddroid and C3PO to help.

She makes her escape with Luke and Leia, thanks to some handy knowledge of passageways, some well-placed shots, and surprisingly  decent help from the two droids, though she doesn't quite make it out unscathed (with a few blaster injuries that end up fatal, in fact). She makes it to Bail's apartment with Luke and Leia, asks him to please take care of them and please - if he can - split them up, because she's afraid of what their force sensitivity will mean for them in this new galaxy where the Jedi have been wiped out.

She doesn't make it much longer than that.

Meanwhile on Mustafar, Sabe has tried and failed to kill Anakin, who's so hyped up on Dark Side and Murder Juice that he doesn't actually realize. . . that's Sabe, not Padme. And now he and Obi-wan are dueling. And Sabe is like well, fuck it, I'm out of here. So she takes the ship and aims to get back to the apartment, and once Obi-wan's done his whole chopping Anakin into pieces shebang he ends up having to use Anakin's starfighter to make it off planet, since Sabe's taken the ship and run.

Eventually, Obi-wan and Sabe manage to find their way to Bail's and learn of Padme's fate. . . and the children's. Sabe and Obi-wan eventually agree, though with no shared warmth, that Obi-wan will watch over Luke and take him to Tatooine, and Sabe will watch over Leia on Alderaan. Padme's funeral goes down similarly as in canon, in which it's adjusted to look as if she were still pregnant, and Palpatine never finds out that the kids lived. . . until the OT comes along, of course.

And that's the gist of it!

(ask me about my WIPs!)

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

(AU) (Part 2)

Luke: *cries*

Leia: I’m sorry I called you sensitive in front of mom, I thought you already knew.

[soclonely]

We got multiple filler episodes of C3PO and R2 messing around the galaxy but were robbed of at least ONE episode of the Clone Wars following the adventures of Mas Amedda as he runs errands for the Chancellor. - Picking up his dry cleaning. “Huh no I don’t know how that burn got in there or why his underwear smell like sulphur” - Going to the local coffee shop and ordering Palpatine’s  Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato from the local coffee shop - Calling his mom 3 times a day sobbing as he tells her his job is just SO great and to tell his brother that he is still better than him.  - Massaging Palpatine’s toes and giving him his daily foot bath