#C. I'm literally saying people should be allowed to do what they want with their lives without the judgement or accusation of others.

[northwest-cryptid]

Alright so this post already has like nearly 4k notes and I'm sure there's been a ton of discussion on this topic and I want to air this right now and say I'm a NB individual who's not trying to ruffle any feathers so to speak; but I have personal experiences with this and figured I'd share my two cents, it's ENTIRELY FINE if you disagree with me. You can absolutely disregard what I say here but for those who want to know my opinions and thoughts on this topic, here ya go. You're 100% on this one, I've been saying this for a while but essentially; it's one thing to be supportive and understanding of someone's gender when they come out; it's entirely another thing to assume you know more about their gender identity than they do just based on your own personal experiences. I remember way back when I was very questioning of my gender and believed myself to be MtF trans it was specifically because people around me began telling me I was, and I realized it was always because of the fact I embraced a lot of traditionally feminine stuff. Of course they didn't take kindly to it when I had mentioned that I should still be able/allowed to be a man and be into those things, because those things don't make someone a woman they're just things I can like.

But here in lies the issue if I may be so bold, and yea I'm kind of scared to say this but it's just my own thoughts on the matter. See a lot of the people who were telling me I must obviously be MtF trans were MtF trans women themselves. To who, those things WERE what made them feel like a woman. Those things were what let them embrace their gender and BE a woman. Even though if we're being honest, they were a woman regardless (ya know, hence the whole being trans thing; you can be a MtF trans woman and be into trucks and beer and sports and whatever other traditionally masc shit you want because interests don't define your gender by the way) but they didn't FEEL like a woman unless they threw themselves at their more feminine interests and embraced that those things MADE them a woman. Which, hey I get that; I understand wanting to conform more with your gender in whatever way you can. It's the same reason sometimes I wish I had longer hair and have often thought about getting wigs, but then you gotta keep in mind that I also have thought about wearing wigs for like; literally the last 10 years and it was never a gender thing for me. At the end of the day I didn't want to blame these individuals for pushing that on me because I understood it from their perspective. Clearly if in their mind, painting their nails, wearing traditionally feminine clothing, using feminine products like perfume or even just deodorants, and going to the mall/shopping made them feel like women because those things were all interests they believed were traditionally or inherently feminine, then I can see where they'd believe me to be the same as them since I had a lot of the same interests. So when I still thought of myself as a man and had a lot of the same interests/activities I could see where it might come across as weirdly threatening. For my MtF friends, the idea that something WASN'T inherently feminine was actually a bad thing, they didn't want to abolish gender roles because those same gender roles were the very thing that let them feel more like their actual gender while early in the transitional period where they still had a lot of dysphoria about their looks, body, interests, that sort of thing. It was also a really "easy" way so to speak; to announce to the public at large that "I am not a man, I am in fact a woman because a man wouldn't have painted nails, or wear perfume, or be shopping at the mall!" Which is actually just not true but you know. This is literally coming from discussions I had with them on the topic because yea I called them out on this when I began to question my gender a little more. There are even some of them who still try to pull the whole "see I knew it, I knew you weren't a man!" Because I'm NB and they're equating that to being MtF which in my own personal opinion, it's not. I sometimes sway between calling myself NB and calling myself Gender Fluid, because I honestly still identify as a man, about just as much as I identify as a woman, which is literally just about as much as I identify as neither/both/whatever. Whenever they try to pull that shit on me, the argument is always about whether or not being MtF and being NB/GF is the same, and what bothers me there is that; none of the things they attributed to me being trans, ever impacted me being trans. They were never things that made me question my gender, they were never things I ever even thought about. Some of them weren't even things I had a conscious decision in. Like half the time I wore feminine deodorant because it's just what was available, most of my interests aligned with more traditionally feminine shit because I happened to have more traditionally feminine friends. I've been questioning my gender for a while, and the only time I honestly stopped questioning it and just decided to go with what other people wanted was when everyone around me had decided for me that I should be a woman because of what they deemed feminine and didn't like it when I asked "can I still be a man if I like these things? Do these things inherently make me a woman?"

So yea, there's my two cents on the matter. I admittedly have some strong opinions but you hopefully understand why. At the end of the day I tell people quite often that you only get one life to live (save for any religious belief you may follow) and I'd rather everyone just get to live a life they're happy with, if you're a man who's into painting your nails and wearing feminine clothing but you're cis and straight and still rock your long ass hair, more power to ya bro. If you're a trans woman and you want to rock a buzzcut and trucker aesthetics hell yea girl go for it. Who honestly has time to give a shit, life is too short to care, but if you're going to judge or accuse someone of being this or that because of what they wear, or the things they buy, or the music they like; well... shit man shut up no one gives a fuck.

tl;dr if you wouldn't say a trans man is a woman for buying pads (which you fucking shouldn't, I shouldn't have to say that but I am) don't say a cis man is actually a trans girl just because he buys feminine deodorant.

calling every gnc cis person you see an "egg waiting to crack" even as a joke is not cool or funny at all actually it is extremely invasive and weird and you are just reinventing gender roles but making it "progressive"

[kimdokjas]

wait wait, what’s the change tumblr did to the reblog chains ? 🥲🥲🥲 I’m so lost

okay so basically, let's say you see a post on your dash

before the update, if you clicked on a url, you could do 3 things:

view that specific reblog on the blog you follow (A)

view the previous reblog on the blog A reblogged it from (B)

view the original post on op's blog (C)

however, staff recently implemented an update where clicking on a url no longer takes you to that specific post. now, clicking on a url just takes you to the blog itself.

this means that you now get 5 things:

view ONLY that specific reblog on the blog you follow (A) -> changed location near header. also, you will now ONLY see that post and nothing else

view ONLY the original post on op's blog (C) -> changed location near header. you will only see that post and nothing else. and ONLY if the op hasn't deleted it, otherwise it just shows an error

view the blog of the person you follow (D)

view the blog of the person D reblogged it from (F) -> option B no longer exists

view the blog of the op (E)

you might be thinking: "cool! i get more options so that's good, right?" well, no.

there are SEVERAL things wrong with this and it goes beyond the prev tags issue

1) first of all, it's counterintuitive that A and C changed locations to the area near the header, especially if your userbase was already used to the previous functions. it just seems like horrible UX design to me but let's put that aside for now.

2) as you can see, option B which allowed you to see the previous reblog of a post no longer exists.

now, if you click on the previous url, you will just be taken to their entire blog. you can no longer view the post itself.

someone asked staff about this, and they replied in this post that the change was INTENTIONAL and if you want to view the previous reblog you would have to "go through the notes view".

to borrow what someone else said:

basically, this update just killed the prev tags culture in one fell swoop.

(sure, you can still use it to reply directly to the person you're reblogging from, but it's now literally useless to use "prev tags" for everyone else involved. sure, you can choose to copy tags or peer review them, but again, if people will have to copy them then the less people are likely to use them, and not every prev lends itself to peer-reviewing imo)

now, listen. i know not everyone likes the prev tags culture, but it just seems like such a poorly-thought decision to kill a culture that like... half of your entire userbase uses (see this poll as a quick reference) and that's UNIQUE to your site and sets you apart from other social media.

but it's also not even just prev tags. let's say you want to remove an annoying addition on a post's reblog chain? you can no longer do that.

however, i feel like this is the most important point:

regardless of how you may feel about the prev tags culture, the pure UI aspect of it should remain

what i mean by this is: even if you don't like prev tags, simply 1) being able to access the reblog chain, and 2) clicking on a post and actually have it take you to their BLOG (and not just a page with that one single post) is literally essential navigation.

this update threatens to drive down user engagement (which is already critically low) by making it harder to navigate. which is actually another point:

3) even if you click on A and C now to view those specific posts, it's NOT the same as it used to be.

before, you could view the reblog directly on the blog. so you could just scroll down and see the other posts leading up to it. now, you will be taken to a page where you will ONLY see that post and nothing else.

but also, you can no longer easily navigate other people's blogs.

you know how sometimes you would see like 50 notifications of someone going through an entire tag on your blog? that's going to happen a lot less, i'm afraid.

let's suppose you want to go to op's blog because they're an artist and you want to see more of their art. so you click on C and see that the tag they use for posts with their art is "#my art"

cool! before, you could just click on that tag and immediately view ALL of their art as long as the posts have that tag.

but now, if you click on that tag, it will take you to the ENTIRE tumblr tag with literally all the posts that everyone in the history of time has tagged with that specific tag.

now, to do the same thing that just took 2 clicks before, you would have to: click on C to view the post -> look for the tag you want to navigate -> click E to view their whole blog -> scroll and look for a post that just so happens to have that tag (the search function is literally useless) and hope to god that there's a recent one or you'll have to scroll for ages or simply give up -> if you happen to find it, click on that tag to navigate their posts.

you see how this is counterproductive, right? you see how this can literally drive down engagement with content creators, right?

if you make people's blogs harder to navigate, you will literally drive down the number of likes and reblogs on their posts, which have already been steadily declining for years now.

4) options D and E to view the blogs and not the posts are literally useless because you could already access other people's blogs before. you just had to click on their url to view their blogs starting from that specific post AND you could choose to just refresh it to view their newest posts.

either way, the change just seems completely unnecessary. and again, it's not just about the prev tags culture but about basic UI.

so what can we do about it?

i normally don't advocate for flooding staff with messages but i do feel like this is one of the worst updates staff has ever done (and that's saying something) and something needs to change.

even if they don't retcon the entire update, that's fine, but staff could at least add the option to view the reblog chain as a different feature (maybe even opt-in) for example. there are better ways to go about this than just axing an entire existing feature.

also, this same issue that makes it harder to navigate blogs needs to change. i feel like content creators will be especially affected by this unless this changes because you can no longer easily navigate their tags, so it will inevitably drive down engagement.

so please, contact staff and let them know we want a change.

you can contact support here!

here's a template for a possible message you could send, but feel free to edit it. (under category you can choose "Feedback")

Hi, I would like to politely request a change to the recent update that affects the reblog chain of posts. Regardless of the "prev tags" culture itself, the UI aspect of being able to view the reblog chain of a post is essential for navigation on this website. Even adding it as a separate, opt-in feature would be a huge help. Additionally, clicking on a post and then on one of the tags now takes you to the entire tumblr tag instead of the tag on that blog, which makes it harder to navigate blogs. Both of these issues have the potential to drive down user engagement by actively making it harder to navigate Tumblr, but especially for content creators. I hope you can do something to address these issues as soon as possible. Thanks in advance and have a nice day.

also, if you can and/or want, reblogs are appreciated to help spread the word!

that's pretty much the gist of the issue from what i've seen, but if anyone else has anything to add or a different way we could contact staff to make ourselves heard, please feel free to let me know!

TLDR: it's not just about prev tags, this update affects basic functionality and content creators as well

Update Sept 07, 2024: this issue was "fixed" a few months back, although with some caveats / downgrades. You can check out this post for how to view the reblog chain, but all the other issues addressed in this post still remain.

[plaidos]

I enjoy bothering people, particularly when whittling down my large steam friends list and shoving transfeminism down their throat if applicable (generally is), any suggestions for questions I can ask people to better determine their thoughts on transwomen quickly? I've used "should transwomen go to men or women's prison" and that is kiiinda effective but a bit unsubtle as to what i feel the right answer would be

Imagine it's a quiz show they are unwittingly participating in and i am the scary host

Also asking anon because I've sent a lot of messages lately and I'm EMBARRASSED c: but i am tma obviously if that is not self evident

And you might say, oh, forcing these ideas on people is not effective or useful or helpful -- perhaps, but it is *fun* and then I can block transphobes and free my contact list of scum so I view it as, in the end, a noble endeavor

there’s no point being anonymous if your typing style is so intentionally distinctive that you’re immediately recognisable

secondarily, it might be fun for you, but i’m not spending any time thinking about how other TMA people can start fights with their steam friends list if they want. if you want a debate just ask “what do you think about femboys” and whoever you ask you’re going to fight

i also don’t really think it’s a noble endeavour so much as it is morally justifiable levels of annoying. to be honest, i think you feel bad and icky about people you (understandably) don’t like being on your friends list and are trying to find an activity that allows you to reverse that decision in a bombastic in-your-face, im-not-like-you way.

if i were you, and i felt so strongly, i would just go down the list and say “hey, sending this to everybody on my friends list, but i’m coming out as X and use Y pronouns, and i would really appreciate it if you could swap to that for me. thanks!” and block everybody who gives you problems.

the issue with starting fights with everybody in your friends list because they “might” be transphobic is that you’re still doing it even if they’re trans. if a friend i hadn’t played games with for years messaged me to say “what prison should trans women go to?” i would assume they are sealioning me and block them. and to be fair, that is literally what you are doing.

[noodle-made-a-mistake]

A short list of things that bother me about the Magisterium canon:

Forgive me in advance for rambling, I have to get these thoughts out of my brain lmao (also it's been a couple years so correct me if I'm wrong! (I really hope I’m wrong on some of these :’) )) Spoilers ahead obviously!

● The lack of Calron :(

● Not taking the opportunity to develop Tamara's character and keeping her static until she's randomly just different. Strong female characters aren't just skilled and perfect until their one flaw (usually it's having feelings like any other human being) is revealed shockingly (that's just sloppy characterization), they should be crucial to the plot and not overlooked in favor of developing other characters (from what I remember she literally was my favorite while reading the series until she just got annoying (??) after a while, of course that could just be because the story is told through Call's perspective but still)

● The entire school system that I need more info on bc it sounds so unthought out and not like something that has existed for hundreds of years

● The forceful nature of making people serve as masters?? That makes no sense? Like, “Congratulations on not dying during your schooling or in the war(s), your prize is forced labor 👍.”

● Also THE COLLEGIUM WAS MENTIONED AND NEVER ELABORATED UPON

● TGT. Least favorite book. Get out. Tgt truthers how do you do it??

● The Maugris plot twist. It destroys the meaning behind the past four books. It's just so uncalled for and frankly just sloppy ig? I love the idea in a way, but only if it's foreshadowed from the beginning. Also I'm too attached to the complicated dynamic of Alastair raising his possible ex-bestie for it to end up like that

● The fact that the iron trio is out of school for half the series, I'd like to know what's normal, y'know??

● THE LACK OF ELABORATION ABOUT THE FIRST GEN I WANT TO KNOW MORE I HAVE TO KNOW MORE

● They did my man Constantine especially wrong, give him some ✨️character✨️ aside from E V I L and problematic (trademark) and charming (???)

● AND ALASTAIR GOD TELL ME MORE?? He's characterized as distant and obviously traumatized with his hate of his magic involved past but I just need to know what that past was like. Like who was he before his dead wife syndrome?? Idk but I'd of liked any excuse to know more about it just so I can understand him more??

● Please give me a single character trait of Declan's?? Like he was mentioned a handful of times and that's all we got. He was just some guy and I am hating it !!

● And Sarah. Like. She was a mom and liked peace as a concept but she also made a cool ass knife. That's a lot of things left up for interpretation. And I know Call wasn’t allowed to ask questions for plot reasons but god i wish he had more information about his own dead mother for Christ's sake

● Also other than a victim, who was Jericho? I need to know who this kid who drew scribbles in the margins of his very important journal while writing about how he was slowly being killed was. What was his relationship really like with his brother if he was so scared to say that he was dying or what gave him the impression that he didn't care?? It's fascinating and I need him under a microscope immediately

● Also the lack of queer representation until the last two books. AND THEN IT WASN'T EVEN ANY OF OUR MAIN CAST. Literally the saddest L ever :(

● AND AARON WAS NEVER CONFIRMED QUEER LIKE WHAT THE FUCK JUST L O O K AT HIS CHARACTER AND INFACT ALL OF OUR CORE CAST IS AT LEAST BI LIKE C O M E O N (ik they're like kids but even I knew I was not straight when I was like 11 and i lived in the most conservative non-LGBTQ-friendly town known to man)

● Low key, callmara was so bad, like I love them but not the way it happened, horrible set up. Tamara deserved so much better and to not have her entire character destroyed by becoming a love interest. I wish they thought about her as an independent character instead of the means to implement a romantic subplot in tgt, they did so good in the first books with that

● Also there's no elaboration on what chaos is. It's the mystical 5th element. Wow! Let's go girl, give us nothing! You'd think that if Makaris were so exceptionally rare and special that we'd get some explanation on how they come to be and what it is exactly that they can control but we're just left to assume it's the special "chosen one" type of thing. Idk it bothers me for some reason :/

That's just off the top of my head and it's been years since I read the series all the way through (I should do a reread soon). For the most part I adore this funky series and I hate to bash it but I felt the need to ramble about it's shortcomings because I'm not crazy, right?? It had so much potential! Anyway, I'm sort of glad for the blanks in the story despite complaining about them because it leaves room for fics and fan interpretations that I always love to see, but on the other hand, I'd like for the story to feel finished and not like a last minute science fair project.

Thanks for sticking around for my late night rambling lmao

[ihopesocomic]

Thank you so much for calling out the anons' albeism

Too many authors or creators will say that their project is supposed to go against ableism/homophobia/racism ect but will allow ableist/homophobic/racist language or "jokes" because "it's all in good fun"

Thank you so much for not tolerating this nonsense

You'd think that upholding one's own standards would be more commonplace! It's quite easy to do, but I feel like some creators have a different set of standards depending on the situation and don't want to risk loosing that follower count, or they're nonconfontational. Both of which are not only annoying but seriously damaging. We care about who reads our stuff, and I think we've been more than generous with allowing people to learn what we have to say. But there's always those clowns that choose to not read any of it and progress with bigoted comments. Yea we're still learning stuff too, but when we literally said an ask ago to not use specific terms AND WHY, and people do it anyway? That's disrespectful and we're not going to tolerate that. So they can enjoy their block. We don't want people like that reading out comic and interacting with our other readers, especially those this affects personally. I'm sure they don't want to read about people being ableist.

But the good news is the majority of our readers are respectful and genuine.

I want to say thank you, but it's also just sad because you shouldn't have to thank us for sticking to our guns on these sorts of things. People should have standards. - Cat

-

You're absolutely right and I feel it's that kind of inconsistency from creators that encourages this kind of behaviour. We don't like getting harsh on anons but what you're describing is certainly troublesome and we don't want any anons to feel they're comfortable being that way around us. So, honestly, if it makes people think twice before falling back on ableist terminology as opposed to exploring literally dozens and dozens of non-ableist adjectives that exist to describe a character like Bright, it's our pleasure. c: - RJ

[hkthatgffan]

As someone dying of lupus (it's hard to draw atm due to shakey hands), and is slow with comissions, I never ask for money first, rather than after i finish. And if I don't get it done in 3 months, I apologize and try to give them a free doodle of their choice, no money given to me at all.

Even if I moved slow, I'd always keep them up to speed with what was happening, if I can/cannot do the drawing or give them something small and free to compensate for the months gone by so at least someone gets a little something for waiting.

And if I get it done, then I get my payment (since my health is unpredictable, I like to get paid after. Makes me feel better, to not be paid upfront because it makes me feel better on touching up, asking if changes needed to the art, anything added, etc. Or if my health simply won't allow, at least they'll get something in the end.)

Idk. I just find it rather cruel to leave people in the dark like that. I deal with abuse, awful illnesses litterally tearing me apart, i've lost half if not most my family and had to do artwork or refund/explain if artwork couldn't be completed regardless.

There's no excuse to leave people behind, block, ignore,ghost, and run off with cash.

I've met really rude people in this fandom, and I really wish people would just take five seconds to go "ok here's what's happening, do you want your cash back?" Like it's not hard.

The day of the last few gf episodes, I was in the hospital because my organs weren't working properly and almost exploded my digestive track due to nerve damage,

Yet I still managed to

Let my friends know the art trades will be unfinished and you won't need to give me anything in return (because i always prefer to do them first incase something happens)

Let those who did used to pay me first get their 15 bucks back

All while my insides almost ruptured from gastroparesis 🎉🥳 and my friend died all in the same day i went and stayed two weeks in the hospital desperately trying to apologize for the delay and doing whatever I could to explain my situation and if they needed anything in return/makeup for it.

That's straight up MEAN to ignore and block someone and run off with the cash. There's no excuse.

Even when I was screaming in agony in my hospital bed, I still managed to give a refund or something or talk to the person and not leave them in the dust. :/

I am so sorry you were left in the dark.

OMG, I'm so, so sorry about all you've been through. That is honestly a truly painful and horrible thing to endure I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemies and people who like with you, made me endure some of the worst that I've seen from people in this fandom.

But also you're right. No matter the reason and no matter how long it may be, a person who has accepted a job...be it an art commission or something else, should at the bare minimum, communicate with the person they are being paid to do that for.

The sad thing is that me and everyone I mentioned in my post had been doing things the right way for ages. We gave Kiki-Kit time (more than we should've), communicated to her through the proper channels she had set up, were nice and patient and yet she never responded to any of us. It literally left us with no choice but to call her out...something none of us wanted to do!

That's what really disappoints me about it all. IDC if she was to take another year to finish my commission. It was a non time sensitive comm I just got from her cause it was a chance to support an artist I respected and admired who was going through a rough time and get a personalized art piece from them. But her lack of communicating really has been upsetting. No matter what she was going through, she could have at least made a post or update to us saying things would take time or even just not say an arbitrary completion date and then miss it with months without another update. No one would be mad at her if she just communicated with us better. That's all that this boils down to; lack of communication!

I get upset and apologize if I miss messaging someone back even for a few hours. And I feel even worse if I miss a DM or message sent my way and then see it maybe days later. None of us are after Kiki-Kit or want her to be remembered for this by the fandom. It pained me greatly to make that post. But with all that has come out, it was overdue.

I still believe she can rectify this all if she just responds and agrees to refund or complete comms from everyone still waiting, that's all it'll take. I doubt anyone will wanna buy a comm from her again who are aware of all this, but at least it's better than not responding to people who fucking paid her and are waiting!

At this point personally, I'm getting my money back from her if she does offer it and so are probably everyone else who I've spoken to. It's not something I want to do given the whole reason behind why she did those comms in the first place...but this whole situation has just left a bad taste in us all and quite frankly, we've had enough.

I just hope if or when Kiki-Kit does address this all, she does better moving forward.

[elvisabutler]

i think there's still a few hours left for your gala, right?? 👁 if so, id like to request 💻 the angst prompt "no, im actually not ok," w austin.. maybe some h/c after the oscars? 🥺🙏

i don't know what i'm feeling

fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: g, t if you really squint. pairing: austin butler x gender neutral reader word count: 802 warnings: austin being sad post oscars. talk about the oscars. talk about the whale. author’s note: thank you anon and you were right i did have a few more hours when you sent this to me and was hoping someone would allow me the chance to do a hurt and comfort with this. full disclosure to everyone, i said it once before, if austin was going to lose to anyone, i did want it to be brendan because i was iffy on colin. however, i despise of the whale as a movie- and truly wish brendan had won for literally anything else. so do not take anything i have austin say as my own opinion on the movie itself. i hate it. this is for my 1k gala with the angst prompt of “no, i’m actually not ok.” and saints preserve me i'll live in my universe where i made this boy drunkenly say to his girl some nasty sexy things post oscar. also i'm not the biggest fan of this but i can't tell if that's purely because i'm in my own head about it or not. still hope you enjoy. also i didn't mess up my word count for the third time in all my gala pieces, what are you talking about.

It's an honor to be nominated. It's an honor to be put in the same league as actors who've been in the business for decades. It's an honor to be nominated along someone who's going to grow with him in their crafts. If he was going to lose to anyone everyone had said it was going to be him or Brendan and damn if he didn't think the man deserved it. The Whale was tough to watch but it was good- it was the sort of thing that earned an actor their Oscar. He shouldn't be- He shouldn't be feeling the way he does. Bill didn't get a single award all season and Colin went from a frontrunner with him to the afterthought along with Paul.

He can't even talk about this with Barry because it was always Ke's one to lose and he wasn't going to. Maybe Angela- but hadn't hers been wrapped in the grief from losing Chadwick. He still can't believe he heard Samuel L Jackson make a noise for him of all people behind him. He should be happy, this is the start of him finally making a difference. Making his fans proud and happy for him like Elvis. Making his mom proud that all her work wasn't for nothing. Making Lisa and Priscilla proud wasn't for nothing but why does he feel as if it was in this moment. Why is his brain just telling him this is how it starts? He'll have this whirlwind of three years and then three projects back to back to back only to have nothing afterward. Angela feels him tense a little- she must have because she looks at him and squeezes his hand once again before nodding over to you.

You- you can help ease his mind, once you're in the car he'll talk to you, whisper in your ear how this was not how he thought this night would go. His eyes meet yours and you smile gently before shrugging a little. He watches your lips mouth "love you" before he focuses on the last of the awards. It's a bit of organized chaos leaving the theater and it almost seems as if there's just an Elvis line of people walking around hand in hand like a bunch of kindergarteners before Austin and you finally get into a car and you squeeze his hand. "You okay?"

If it was anyone else, if it was Baz or Liv or Catherine or Kelvin or Luke- if it was anyone he'd lie. But you deserve the truth in a way that very few people do in this circumstance. "No, I'm actually not. I- I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm mad but I shouldn't. I was nominated for an Oscar. I used to dream about this. I almost won an Oscar!"

"You have a Golden Globe! And a BAFTA!" You remind him, your voice matching his in volume before your hand moves to cup his cheek. There's a wet bit that you brush away with your thumb. "You're allowed to feel something, Austin. It doesn't make you a bad person or take away from Brendan's win because I know you, I know we're going to go the party and you're gonna see him and he's gonna give you a big dad hug and you're gonna gush. And you're gonna bounce up and down with Ke and make sure Baz doesn't drink too much because Catherine asked you too."

The laugh that bubbles up from him is wet sounding, covered in unshed tears as he sniffles. "Forgot how I'm gonna tell Luke about Polly making me do some moves for party tricks. And how Kelvin is going to remind me to-"

"Chill out?" You finish like that's actually what Austin was going to say before he shakes his head, allowing himself to just rest his head in your hand.

"Something like that. I just thought- I let my hopes get up." Austin whispers and you frown.

"No one blames you for that, you know. I don't. Tell you what. When we get to the party, how about we just sit in the car for a little bit until you calm down. And then when we get there, we just relax. Just for a little bit until you stop hurting so much. I'll shoo away the cameras with my charm." Austin raises an eyebrow knowing that isn't always how things go with you and him.

"Yeah? No fighting that'll get us both in trouble?"

"Pinky swear." You hold out your pinky as you move to kiss Austin. "Now, how about we focus on our plans for after tonight. I believe someone promised me a vacation?"

Austin's answer is a hum before he gives you another kiss. "How do you feel about the mountains?"

[wanderingmoonmen]

Hi! I just wanted to come here and gush about how much I love your half doomed and semi sweet series real quick! I binged it all in two days and you guys have done such a good work on it. I honestly think the first installment is probably one of my favorite pieces of fanfic ever just due to how great the mix of character interaction and action is within the fic. I also just adore how Mary is handled with James and how he realizes that Mary wouldn’t say a lot of the stuff his hallucinations are saying but also it’s still overwhelming and hurts despite this! I’ve also been enjoying the lot more day to day ness of the sequel fic too, where issues still come up but it’s also not, running from monsters all the time (unless those monsters are silent hill remnants/bad thoughts, sorry James!).

I don’t know if it’s ever detailed anywhere, but what exactly inspired you to write the sequel fic if you don’t mind me asking?

aaaaa this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit because I saw the nice words and it makes me melt into a puddle and I want to take time to properly answer your question. Thank you ❤️

I ended up writing way too much in my answer so the tldr; I have way too many thoughts and ideas and with @fly-rye 's encouragement and participation we're now in a place where there's a whole timeline and already drafted events still out there to do.

My ramblings and more detailed explanation under the cut

I think in the preface to Promise, or somewhere, I've said that literally all of this started as a joke. I'm also going to keep to my guns of coming up with it back in 2018 (albeit a joke that I kept to myself lmao). I had sort of kept my 'joke' meeting in some sort of filing cabinet in my mind. And honestly if @fly-rye wasn't a super cool and amazing friend and didn't indulge my bullshit we wouldn't be here (also I'm pretty sure that DBD audio of Leon sounding very......... y'know affected it too. I also started a playthrough of RE4 on Oculus at the same time. Also also this literally started I swear a couple months before remakes were formally announced.) ANYWAY this isn't an answer to your question, I just like rambling.

Now that sort of plays into what inspired the sequel, I think I am a 'too many thoughts head full' type of person and just have too much to say sometimes (and perhaps also too much imagination). I also like trying to explain things so the in-fiction lore makes sense (like... extensively thinking about how to actually for real explain how James got to Spain or What Is The Scientific Explanation For Silent Hill etc etc. I just like to make things Work in my head, idk how to explain it).

When Promise turned into a project, there was more serious thought into how their relationship worked and how to explain Leon's character changes in future media. Then it was a thought of 'how could things be better for the both of them?' Or 'what if they were allowed to heal and grow as people' and whatever else that can be narratively satisfying about seeing hurt people finding each other and helping each other.

Then that turns into 'let's put that thing into a situation.'

Which, of course, there are A Lot Of Situations considering Leon has... 4 movies and 1 game he's in after RE4.

There's also the interest of exploring the mechanics of Silent Hill and exploring how SH3/SH4 can become entangled with the mess.

There's then the flip side of the domestic life and living as """""normal"""""" people.

So to fill the gaps between Situations we've brainstormed a Lot of timeline stuff and certain relationship beats that should occur (yknow like their gay wedding, spoilers). I'm also trying to show how James integrates with the rest of the RE crew and with Harry and Heather.

So... Basically I've thought... a lot about how to make their ship and this universe integrate into all the canon events and have some random drafts for it (of course much credit goes to @fly-rye to a) indulging me b) getting sucked into this c) being super supportive d) brainstorming the Situations with me) because there's just so much potential!!

Now, this is kinda where I get stuck and why there hasn't been more posted, if you're wondering

I like to be thorough and in my head I think I need to explain and show character development in detail because, again, in my head, I think it'll then be viewed as 'bad' or idk, 'not well written' or 'not making sense' (as if any of this makes sense). So I feel like I need to show how these relationships develop so it's more convincing or whatever. I think about how some media is panned or criticized for bad relationship writing, ie 'we've been best friends for 10 years and he really helped me out, right bob?" Like who says that.

So in starting PE I wanted to try and thoroughly and logically explain how we get to the current point.

Obviously this is also literally fanfic and [insert meme here] it's my AU and I can do what I want [just tell you This Is How It Is]

But... I'm not great at writing fluff or character interaction stuff just for the sole purpose of development. I thrive on hurt/comfort and angst stuff (if that wasn't obvious) whereas trying to come up with story beats for a beach trip or something is much more difficult for me. So I've struggled to move forward because it's just not my forte and it takes practice and patience...

Unfortunately, I can be rather impatient.

It's really annoying when you're trying to be thorough! So even when I've got a plan, I just get annoyed with my writing because I just wanna get to the good stuff!!! Why can't I write this out faster!!!! I need to beam my thoughts into a document!!!

I keep on feeling like I'm making empty promises, but I do really wanna keep writing and posting. I am trying and I think about sitting down and writing a lot, but between all those other hangups and not having time, I just haven't.

I know a lot of this isn't exactly what you asked, but I hope it answers your question and then some. Thank you again for reaching out it means a lot to hear from readers!!!

[readychilledwine]

Hi girl!! I don't know how to say this, but I love your writing and your sooo creative. I just wanted to say, im giving birth in a couple of weeks and it just hit me that I'm going to have a KID, LIKE WTH??? I did my research so there's nothing to worry about and I'm financially stable, its just, WEIRD??? I'm going to pop a baby out??please give some advice bc my hubby seems really cool about it and I'm just WHAT??😭

Trigger warnings- baby, mom life, and labor talk. Super long post 💕

✨️Congratulations to both of you and welcome to the hot moms club✨️

I went through an induction that turned into an emergency c section, so keep that in mind when reading my advice since I am not sure what form of labor you are opting for.

During Labor/Your hospital stay:

Bring a comfort idea to the hospital for before "active" labor and after. I brought my own pillow, and that made a world of difference. It was nice having something so familiar afterwards.

Don't eat anything you don't want to risk coming back up. Some hospitals will allow you to eat. Try to stick to the ice, juice, jello, or pudding. Italian shaved ice was also an option for me. And do bring snackies for after. You deserve it.

Don't panic if your birth plan does not turn out to be how birthing goes. I had planned on natural labor, no pain medication. I went in to be induced at 9pm December 13, by 2am I was in a lot of pain, by 7am I had an epidural.

Not to scare you, but the epidural can cause a few different reactions. Don't let that stop you from getting it. You HAVE to allow yourself to be as comfortable as possible, and your birth team will handle whatever curves are thrown their way.

If you are physically able to, do golden hour. In case it is called something different for you, golden hour is a full hour where the nursing staff leaves you and baby alone for skin to skin and nursing time. Tell your man I'm sorry, but he can wait. That hour is essential for building breastmilk supply if you're going to be EBF or EP. He can have baby after.

And let him have baby after. Daddy needs his own hour where baby is getting skin to skin with him.

It's going to be hard, but try not be mad if baby daddy sleeps after labor. He's going to have spent the last how ever long you were in labor in a heightened state of fight or flight because the woman he loves is in pain and there is nothing he can do for you. It's painful and all the exhausting for us. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting for them.

Do not (under any circumstances) let them force you into handling feedings one way or the other. Fed is best. Period.

Do not allow them to force you to have a nurse who makes you uncomfortable in any way. I know it's hard, but if a nurse is making you feel like you aren't doing enough, aren't listening to them, are making a wrong choice, ASK FOR A NEW NURSE. They should be supporting you.

If you're at a hospital where mom and baby sleep in one room, don't hesitate to say yes if a nurse asks if you want baby to go to nursery for a little bit. You both will need sleep. You deserve sleep. That nap will be precious. Trust me.

For home:

During bathing, try a swaddle method. It uses two towels, but it helps baby feel safe and secure. Here's a little link to an article about them

Take. Time. With. No. Visitors. You and baby daddy deserve time to adapt to your LO. It's a totally different ball game. We had 2 weeks alone. 2 weeks with just our parents. 2 weeks with our siblings. Then we opened the house to visitors who messaged us first.

Establish boundaries from jump. I made a post about on SM with a picture of our boundaries. Baby daddy enforced it.

Enjoy those 2am cuddles. They go away so fast 🥺

If you do not mentally feel okay, tell people you trust. Immediately. PPD/PPA can quickly become postpartum psychosis when left untreated.

Remember you're gorgeous. Even if you don't feel that way. You literally grew a human. It is the most selfless thing you could do for your family, and in my opinion, the closest thing to magic.

Remember to be kind to yourself and baby daddy. You're both learning. It's hard. So hard.

Never feel guilty for a few minutes of screen time. Sophia gets about 30 minutes a week spread out throughout the week. Ms. Rachel is a great help.

From my baby daddy to yours

Get her the food she's been craving that she "can't have" which also meant you couldn't have it for her first post labor meal. Lizzy wanted sushi. Baby momma got her sushi.

Take pictures of her with your kid. Constantly without her knowing. Those pictures will get you through the work day.

Get up with her at night. We helped make the baby. We help with the baby.

No yelling. No fighting. I said one thing to Lizzy I regret deeply, and I don't know if she's genuinely forgiven me for it. This is hard on your baby momma. If she needs to vent. Let her. Don't fight her. Just get her down for a nap, man. That's all you can do sometimes.

Never tell her to sleep when the munchkin sleeps. That statement is the most unhelpful thing anyone said to Lizzy. Tell her instead to lay down and try to get some sleep, and you will listen for crying. She needs the comfort of knowing someone else is there.

Don't allow anyone to shame her for anything. I learned I will throw hands over someone shaming Lizzy. Luckily, it was with my brother. We're good now.

Make sure she gets to shower every day.

Love her. Love her and look out for any signs of her not being okay. Lizzy's was staring off into nothing and crying way too much.

Make sure you schedule time for both of you to get away and let her enjoy said time.

Skin to skin. Daily.

Lastly, get her a pump if she's breastfeeding. Trust me. It will help build supply, and it allows you to feed the little one.

If you two need ANYTHING, message me. I don't have all the answers, but I might have advice. 💕

Here's a few products we love for Sophia, too. Some of them are pricy. We apologize.

Dreamland weighted Swaddle

Diaper cream spatula

Calmoseptine Ointment

Bums and Roses - softest pj's ever and you can get matching ones.

Momcozy nail file

Lizzy's favorite stationary pump*

Lizzys favorite on the go/work pump*

The bottles baby daddy uses to feed Sophia sometimes

*check to see if insurance will help*

Overall, just enjoy your time together and your sweet little baby.💕💕

Ps- thank you for the compliments! I was so excited to give advice I almost brushed over them 🥺

[ebongawk]

"Hey, baby."

He'd just walked through the front door of their apartment – their apartment, lease signed, sealed, and fucking delivered to the landlord some two months prior. His messy scrawl alongside Chrissy's immaculately elegant C. Cunningham, dotted with a perfect little circle that made his heart pop fireworks in his chest.

(From a fucking signature. Goddamn, he was gone for her.)

"Hey," she smiled, not quite turning toward him.

She was in the kitchen, humming softly as she carefully rolled balls of ground beef. Oh fuck yes, Chrissy had masterfully made meatballs one other time and, no matter how much he begged – literally on his knees – she'd lamented that they weren't exactly healthy.

And, yeah, Chrissy's patent-pending Relationship With Food was healing, but Eddie wasn't such an asshole that he'd push her to make something she wasn't one-hundred-and-ten-percent on board with. She was still testing the waters with what she could bring herself to eat.

If there's a God, Eddie wanted to bow down and worship Him or Her for allowing meatballs to make the cut.

"Did all my pleading actually amount to something?" he asked as he slipped off his work boots, pattering over the short distance between the front door and the kitchen. They'd lucked out with this apartment, honestly, but it was still rather small. "Or is this, like, a body snatchers thing? Are you just a Chrissy-replica trying to win me over with meatballs?" He leaned down, avoiding touching her clothes with his grimy post-work hands as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Because it's working."

She smiled, but it wasn't... It wasn't Chrissy-bright. It was an appeasing sort of smile – the kind of thing you foisted upon a person to be polite before dismissing them. Sucking in a breath through his teeth, Eddie leaned awkwardly around the counter, trying to catch her eye.

"You okay, sweetness?"

"I'm fine," she said, her voice as robotic as any body snatcher. Blinking, she barely awarded him a glance. "You should wash up. Dinner will be done soon."

A verbal dismissal. Fuck.

"Uh. Yeah. Alright." Trying very hard not to feel like a kicked puppy, Eddie retreated into the bathroom. Chrissy didn't turn back toward him, and Eddie rapped the wall with his knuckle a couple of times before closing the door.

Shit. Shit. What had happened? Chrissy had a part-time gig as a barista at a café near their apartment, but she hadn't worked that morning, so it couldn't have been a rude customer. And she'd called him during his lunch break, sounding completely normal, to ask if he needed anything from the grocery store.

Fuck. Had he done something? Hell knows it wouldn't be the first time he'd unintentionally fucked up by saying or doing the wrong thing without realizing it. That was one of the problems of having a brain that wasn't really connected to his mouth. But, running through their conversation that afternoon, he couldn't remember saying anything particularly callous or thoughtless.

That didn't mean he hadn't, though. Admittedly, whatever they'd talked about during those fifteen minutes was a little lost to him; he remembered, of course, making her laugh, but was it her fake laugh? The one she gave other people when she was trying to be polite? She'd never, y'know, given him that laugh, but that didn't mean he could detect it over the goddamn phone, for Christsakes.

He was scrubbing the motor oil out from under his nails, thoughts spiraling as torrentially as the water down the drain, when the bathroom door opened. Then closed again.

There was a bit of shuffling, the sounds barely discernible over the rushing spray of water. Then the shower curtain was pulled aside, and Chrissy climbed into the tub behind him. Eddie didn't dare turn, too afraid to shatter this delicate glass idea she had as her arms wrapped around him. After a moment, she pressed her cheek between his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice soft and delicate. The tiny letters of her apology tracing her breath against his skin.

Clearing his throat, Eddie let his hands tentatively rest on hers around his abdomen. "For what, princess?"

"For being rude."

Eddie scoffed, loosening her hold on him just enough that he could turn around and look at her. Really look at her, as she hadn't given him opportunity in the kitchen.

There was a tiny little hitch between her brows. A furrow that accentuated the wide, bare emotion swirling in her stormy eyes.

Sadness, he knew, with a heavy pinch of anxiety.

The comfort of meatballs suddenly made more sense.

"You weren't rude," he assured her, brushing back the few stray strands of hair that had fallen from her messy bun and trailing water down the length of her cheek. "You were just quiet. Had me a little worried, that's all."

Thunder struck in her storm cloud eyes, filling them with tears before she buried her face in his chest. Eddie held her, rocking them back and forth as she sobbed in his arms. (He still had conditioner in his hair, but letting it sit for longer just made it work better, right? Isn't that what Chrissy taught him?)

"I-I-I tried to call Matty today," Chrissy finally managed, her voice broken around the emotion of trying to force the words out. "I t-thought he'd be alone, b-b-but––"

"Did your mom answer?" he asked when her sentence broke off with a pitiful little cry. She nodded, and Eddie tightened his hold around her. Holding her in the protection of his arms, like he could bat off the sadness her mother always caused when they had the misfortune of speaking.

Last time Laura had intercepted a call, Eddie had practically yanked the phone from Chrissy's grasp before the old bitch could say anything that would ruin his girl.

Fuck him for not having opportunity to do the same today. But fuck Laura Cunningham most of all.

He didn't need to ask what she'd said. It was the same old regurgitated bullshit she'd spewed when Chrissy had climbed into Eddie's van, as many of their worldly possessions as they could fit in the cab and headed east. Shit about how Chrissy would never amount to anything, about how she wasn't allowed a relationship with her brother. A bunch of absolutely bonkers crazy Chrissy had let roll off of her, keeping her shoulders back and her head high.

It was harder, some days, to be reminded of the control Laura still tried to exert. The fist Chrissy was still trying to desperately to peel from around her body.

Eddie moved, just enough that the warm spray could touch them both, and let Chrissy cry into him.

"It's alright, baby," he cooed, pressing his lips to her forehead. "It's okay. What'd you tell me the other day? Crying is, um. Crying is lethargic?"

A laugh snorted against his sternum, and Chrissy shook her head, nose rubbing against his bare wet chest.

"Cathartic," she corrected.

"Catatonic, that's what I said."

She giggled, pressing a kiss over his heart before she looked up at him. Eddie brought his hands up, thumbs gently swiping away the tear tracks from her cheeks despite how they blended in with the shower spray.

"Thank you," she breathed, pressing up on her toes to give him a kiss.

Eddie leaned down, giving her a proper kiss when she tried to pull back after a second. He cupped her jaw in one hand, the other gently wrapping around the back of her neck, and kissed her until she gasped for air against his lips.

"Anything, Cunningham," he grinned. "You know that."

Growing a little bashful, Chrissy rested against him.

"I was, um. I was making dinner, to try and take my mind off it. But I rolled all the meatballs, and now I'm just... spent."

"Oh yeah? You wanna order something from that little Korean place down the street? We haven't eaten there yet."

He could feel the curve of her smile against his heart. Exactly where it belonged.

"Yes, please," she sighed.

After a second, Eddie hummed. "So, what I'm hearing is, the crying made you tired?"

"Um. I suppose so?"

"So, like, in a way, crying is lethargic? Is that what I'm getting from this?"

"Oh, my God, Eddie."

"Hey, I'm just saying––"

"That you have to be right," she giggled, lip tucked between her teeth when she looked up at him. "Yeah, I know."

He kissed the smile from her lips.

"I know you."

(for @cunninghamchrissie  😘)

[misculenica]

Expressions + Mannerisms (part 2)

By semi-popular demand, another analysis of Solas and his expressions :)

For all you fanfiction writers and solavellans!

I would like to state, for the record, a lot of what I say/have said is purely my own personal interpretations and understandings, and by no means should you take my word as gospel here. This is just some fun :)

I stated in a previous post (I shall call 'Part 1' for simplicity) how Solas has 2 expressions; his 'in the moment' expressions, in which his true feelings are on display, and his 'in character' expressions, in which he's very much putting on a persona.

If you're in solavellan hell, have some hyperfixation-tendencies and/or unresolved feelings towards a specific fictional character (like myself), you'll probably be able to tell the difference between these 2 expressive states of his.

Allow me to elaborate ;)

Solas, In the Moment "when he's honest/caught off-guard/not 'in character'"

Solas clearly has trouble with lying; he's rather terrible at it. I would go so far as to say he only ever lies to you once in the entire game (lying outright, I mean); and it is after the Winter Palace;

"You miss court intrigue... When were you at court?"

"Oh. Well, never... Directly, of course." <- big stuttering liar.

He can't lie worth a damn, but he's by no means honest; he's manipulative, deceptive and sly. I believe I heard someone describe him once as having a 'malicious compliance with/towards the truth'.

I believe his expressions, as well as mannerisms, follow this mentality.

I'll show you several images/scenes in which I believe Solas is being honest/showing himself without his guard up. (And in 2. Solas, In Character, I will show you the contrast).

This one will be hard to show without gifs (which I'm clueless on how to create, forgive me);

A. He blinks a lot, very a-rhythmic.

B. He gets this look about him, and I don't know how to describe it, beyond "'scuse me?" (the long face gets longer, shrug)

Genuinely surprised:

C. He looks very deep in thought/far away - and sad (this man needs some therapy) this is the face he makes when he knows no-one can see him (I'll make a part 3 going into these comparatives of 'you can see me'/'you can't see me');

No ones looking, it's okay (it's not, but whatever) face :

D. He just looks sad when he's being quiet/honest/not putting on some bravado/persona. (You know how 'resting bitch face' is a thing? This man has a resting depressed face, and i think it has to do with the tragedy - he practically embodies philosophical pessimism)

Acceptance/I don't see a way forward/I need a break face:

E. He has the softest look about him when he's touched/shown affection (yes these are all from the dream-kiss scene) (bless my poor solavellan heart)

Yes, I like to be held, please kiss me on my face face:

F. Smug face... He has a smug face (to be fair, this is literally him revealing he has complete control over when you're awake/asleep... and much more, given the context of Tevinter Nights - idk this face always creeped me out actually XD like i knoooow this guy could fuck me up if he wanted)

"It's my world, you're all just living in it" face:

G. He fidgets a lot when it's just him, or he's talking to you honestly. Like he always has to be doing something with his hands. (I noticed he doesn't do it when he's in groups, or with others) - not a facial expression but I thought it was interesting behaviour. In fact, his movements in general increase a lot - he fidgeted, he sways, he wobbles, he gestures, moves his head a lot. (Just watch all of his personal quest, you'll see what I mean). (He also does this when you first meet him, but I chalk it up to he's just super excited that you're not dead and finally you can fix his mess - since he was 100% sure you'd be dead and he was ready to bolt with his 'i didn't say it was a good plan' plan)

At the risk of just listing typically behaviour in people with certain emotions, I'll move on to his 'in character' part.

2. Solas, In Character.

A. He blinks rhythmically, every like... 5/6 seconds?? (yeah, I know... I do have a hobby besides this stuff i swear XD i just like this egg). It's soothing, like a heartbeat. The blinking just always stood out to me with his character, idk.

B. He smiles a lot, but I can't tell if I know who he is and what he's doing, and that's clouding my vision, but it feels very much like a job interview kind of smile. Like, every split second it falters just a bit.

This man just doesn't want to smile (though, I suppose this is early in game when he's very much 'these aren't people' 'oh i have to pretend really hard rn'

C. He stands pretty damn still and stiff - if he's doing this i'm 99% sure he's being manipulative with you, sometimes the only movements he has in a scene is him blinking, perhaps glancing sideways. - think just before the journey to skyhold when he gives you a talk about the orb and how you need to prove yourself - he's in 110% manipulative mode

The trouble with Solas is, he doesn't have many tells - but the ones he does have are big. And, without delving into scenes as they stand, I'd have a hard time expressing this.

But I will leave you with my favourite expression-transition in the entire game.

How he goes from optimism/pride when standing beside Inky, to when the figure passes him, his expression becomes so serious/foreboding. I love it so much.

And I once again want to mention how much I just adore the little details of animation, from eye movement, skin twitches, or full on bodily movement. - especially for a character I adore. It's beautiful to look at, especially as someone who studied animation (absolutely wasted degree on me, I swear) and gets very attached to fictional characters (particularly ones as complicated as the dread egg).

In future parts, provided I get flycam to work on my pc - I'll be able to go through scenes of the egg to give him a bit more of an in-depth view (with gifs and whatnot, can you imagine?).

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

hi :D I saw you reblogging bingo cards so as you can probably expect: c!dream, c!sam and c!punz as well as DreamXD and c!Technoblade for the character bingo card and

3 mcyters of your choice for the mcyt bingo

Hi sorry this took so long I did literally all of the bingo stuff in one night and then I was exhausted and had to take a break that lasted longer than I intended.

^When I say cDream got done dirty by the fans I mean the inniters specifically. Look at him. Look at how interesting and terrible and wonderful he is. Look at all his maladaptive coping mechanisms. Why the fuck does he look like that? Idk but its cool as fuck and I'm keeping him forever. He gets the greatest honor I'll ever bestow- a place on my mental shelf where all my favorite characters rest.

^Quite frankly the fact that I've turned Sam into a woobie is entirely my fault and I take full responsibility. I acknowledge he's a terrible person your honor. I just also acknowledge that every time I see him I need to bite down and shake him like a chew toy. This will inevitably come back to haunt me I'm sure.

^Punz is fun in that unlike the other two, I feel no need to justify their crimes Ever. I feel no need to explain to anyone that they're Nuanced and that their actions come from a specific place. I think Punz can do anything they want actually, and in fact should murder those teenagers for fun and profit. Punz doesn't need the nuance to be enjoyable. If their response to someone pissing them off is Direct Brutal Murder, then I think its Their Right As A Punz To Do So.

Yes they do have all that nuance and interesting motives and have a long, storied narrative, but I've never felt so defensive about them as I have Dream and Sam. It makes them very refreshing in a way.

^I probably should have put "is a horrible person" for XD. Whoops. But listen, they're fun in that you can shake em around in a plastic bag and they make the best crinkly sounds. They have so much potential as a character and so many different things you can do with them, especially if you get super creative about it. By themselves though they tend to be a bit of a nothingburger? I honestly don't think XD is that fun or interesting if they aren't focused around at least one other person, at least in their canon state. Part of what makes XD good is how he affects other people, not his own personal thoughts and feelings on any matter.

There's a lot of potential to change that of course, I've read some interesting fanfics and AU's where XD has been fleshed out and written some myself, but I think its really telling that one of the biggest mysteries of XD is why he has Dream's Face and not his own.

^Technoblade is one of those Very Good No Notes sort of person. I really should have said I don't have much to say about him, but that felt so negative when I think nothing but positive things about him? Its just, anything I could possibly think to say has likely already been said for me. He's a good, genuine character. His flaws are comprehensible (the man's anxiety and impulsive wrath tends to get him into trouble) but at the same time his sincerity and acts of kindness and humanity makes him so likeable that you're delighted to root for him even when he's doing things you may not agree with. He's the Dream who had a friend who was allowed to be openly loyal to him, the Dream that managed to find a group of people that have his back. Its kind of bittersweet for me almost.

Honestly I almost kind of wish he was more problematic just so I could be more mentally ill about him? Like once a character stops being overtly flawed and suffering from their flaws it gets hard for me to be invested. Maybe I just need to read a fic about him fucking up? Actually yeah I'm going to go do that, where's a fic about post-prison where he regrets leaving Dream out in the cold and its rivals hurt/comfort all the way.

^ccDream makes me smile. Thats it thats the post. If it had been anyone else piloting cDream I probably wouldn't have been in this fandom. I am Delighted. I am Thriving. I am In My Lane.

^ccSam. Its not my fault okay. He's just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaa!!!!! He's Loyal and Kind and Funny and Good and this is not my fault. Also he understands The Demons.

ccFoolish. Shut up don't look at me watching a 16 hour stream and having it on in the background while I do other things. Shut up. I deserve joyous whimsy in my life. Fuck you.

[runawaymun]

I also have been frothing over the spa center comment.

…would love to hear your pj shade regarding Elrond and Rivendell pretty please though?

I'M GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

okay so...regarding PJ shade............where the hell do I even begin.

I wanna preface this by saying that I do love the films. Like they're my childhood. They have a very special place in my heart and they remain my favorite films of all time. I also really love Hugo!Rond -- like I should think that's obvious considering my art and characterization are so largely based off of Hugo's portrayal, but that being said the films really did Elrond so dirty and I'll never forgive PJ for some of the choices he made and the things he chose to leave out -- not only because they hurt Elrond's characterization, but because they hurt all lot of other plotlines and characters as well.

So let's just start with the most egregious issue, which is by-and-large a directorial issue and not necessarily a script or acting issue: Elrond is kind as summer. And while we see that peeking through in certain moments (enough that those of us with daddy issues and/or a precursory knowledge of the character latched onto them...), this doesn't define Peter Jackson's Elrond. Peter Jackson's Elrond is cranky and tired and while that is a fundamentally interesting characterization, it isn't Tolkien's. Tolkien's Elrond isn't like this. He laughs with Bilbo! He tries to stop Pippin from going on the quest (but allows it in the end). He offers friendship to Thorin and hospitality to literally everyone. He carries his harp around with him and offers little tidbits about himself (I was the herald of Gil-Galad and marched with his host...). Elrond on the page just exudes warmth and generosity. Maybe he's tired & worn out and maybe he has lost a bit of hope by the time we get to the Third Age. Maybe. But that certainly isn't a defining trait. Tolkien's Elrond enthusiastically supported Aragorn (vs. Men? Men are weak. Etc. Etc. Etc.) -- there are just so many weird choices that were made in line delivery and energy that are directorial choices for the story which PJ wanted to tell. Hugo Weaving is completely capable of carrying the right energy when directed to! It's not a Hugo problem! We see him teasing Bilbo a bit in Unexpected Journey and being kinda snarky with Thorin and having some playful energy there. It's that Peter Jackson decided that wasn't how he wanted to portray Elrond. And so we end up with this weird stiff character that doesn't look anything like Tolkien's Elrond unless you squint and do a lot of mental gymnastics (which I constantly do).

And the thing is, I would like to give the portrayal the benefit of the doubt and say 'well it really isn't THAT bad', because I look at it through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia and my own love for my blorbo. But people who are casual watchers of the films, or people who are getting introduced to story for the first time (I've had the joy of getting to introduce a lot of people to the films, and have seen a lot of first reactions on Youtube) -- the knee jerk reaction to Peter Jackson's Elrond is what's his problem? if you don't have the context. And that makes me really sad.

And I really do have to put it down to Peter Jackson wanted to tell a certain story. Because it isn't hard to fix this. Most of the lines are fine. You just have to tell Hugo to exude a different kind of energy in them. That scene in the extended edition with Elrond and Aragorn at Gilraen's memorial is awesome, but you never get the sense that Elrond raised Aragorn. There's no warmth to that scene. And that comes down to direction. Viggo and Hugo are amazing actors. If you told them "hey, you guys have a father-son relationship and you're reminiscing over someone that you both cared about" then they could have played it that way and it would have been so good. But you never get that sense.

That comes down to the weird completely contrived conflict Peter Jackson wanted of "Elrond as the antagonist to Beren & Luthien II electric boogaloo" -- which is...such a strange decision. Why make him Thingol 2.0? It's literally just an extra contrived plot point for added conflict and it isn't like we needed it. The films are three hours long each. Aragorn and Arwen didn't need an antagonist to their love story. It's lazy characterization and lazy storytelling and lazy direction. Again, Hugo Weaving is an excellent actor. Masterclass, in fact. And I understand the thought process of "he's afraid to lose his daughter" and I think that's really tasty characterization! I love playing with that characterization! But there is a way to direct and write that without making him an antagonist. You don't even need lines to show that. Maybe just one. Maybe two. But to be honest all you need is a LOT of strong acting on Hugo's part to show the internal conflict as Elrond is outwardly supporting the two of them because he wants them to be happy!

And then there's the uh...nerfing of Elrond.

To be fair, Elrond really is background on purpose in LOTR. He chooses to be a guide. He chooses to be the Dad Everyone Goes To rather than The Big Damn Hero, and that's awesome. That's why I love him! But again there are just the teeniest tiniest changes that could have been made to fix the fact that he's heavily nerfed. SWEET, so "thanks to the skills of Lord Elrond you are beginning to mend!" -- hey can we just, add a bit more weight to the fact that Elrond needed to use Vilya to do that and it pretty much sapped all of his strength? Can we add a bit more weight to how LONG that surgery took and the fact that NO ONE ELSE could have saved Frodo from a Morgul Blade. How about instead of "he needs Elvish medicine", say "we have to get him to Elrond" -- like, I know Arwen says this, but it just takes a few edits to make it abudantly clear that this has less to do with Elves in general and more to do with rings of power.

And then we get to the fjord with the Ringwraiths. I'm not one of those people who is mad that they gave the chase to Arwen rather than Glorfindel. I understand why that decision was made. Do I miss Glorfindel? Hell yeah! But I understand why that decision was made. I just wish that Peter Jackson hadn't also given Arwen the "call the river in fury" superpower. Why not have Elrond be the one to do that? Girlpower, sure. But Arwen's cool enough for having the chase scene against all nine nazgul. Let Elrond have his moment. It takes like one 50% opacity overlay edit to show us he's the one doing it. And this isn't even an Elrond issue so much as a nerfing the worldbuilding issue. We hear about the Three Rings in the prologue and then Peter Jackson promptly never mentions them again save for one deleted scene with Galadriel and Nenya. Until I read the books as an adult I had no idea Elrond and Gandalf had the other two. That's...a pretty egregious thing to leave out.

Peter saves himself somewhat with the faux Silm plot in The Hobbit films. TBH I forgive absolutely everything else about the Hobbit Films for the purpose of that tiny moment where Elrond teases Bilbo and invites him to stay (except it's only in the extended so....again, we see where PJ's priorities lie), and Elrond in that armor saying "you should have stayed dead" like adlkgh--- thank you my crops are watered and my skin is clear.

But it should not have taken Peter six movies to fix how badly he nerfed Elrond, and he didn't even really fix him.

All that to say: so many of my favorite Elrond scenes from the films (the Gilraen memorial, Elrond teasing Bilbo, etc), are scenes from extended cuts, meaning when editing Peter Jackson decided these scenes weren't essential to the story he was trying to tell. And sure, this sure as hell isn't "The Elrond Trilogy" -- but it doesn't have to be. Elrond has so little screentime in the books and Jirt still takes those few moments of screentime to tell us Elrond laughed. Elrond was kind as Summer. Elrond's house was safe and cozy and Evil Things Did Not Enter That Valley. Elrond raised Aragorn as his own son and loved him dearly. Elrond was Kind as Summer. Elrond was kind. Elrond was kind. Elrond was kind.

And that isn't how Peter Jackson chose to portray him. I can't fault the man for not having Elrond as a blorbo. We all have different blorbos and that's okay. The trouble is that Elrond is Jirt's blorbo. And Elrond, at his core -- just like Bilbo and Sam and Frodo -- carries the essential message of Tolkien. It isn't great flashy Acts of Heroism that save the world, but rather quiet courage, and kindness, and gardens and laughter and good food and cheer. Places of safety. Gentle guidance. Healing. Healing. Healing.

So that's why I just will never forgive what Peter Jackson did to Elrond. Elrond is good. He is kind. He is extremely powerful -- but he chooses to use that power to heal and guide. And the reason it makes me so mad is not because he's my blorbo (okay maybe it is a little bit), but because breaking Elrond's character in the films was completely unnecessary and completely avoidable. It's just that Peter Jackson chose to do things his way and tell the story he wanted to tell, rather than taking the time to make some small and easy directorial choices to make sure he got it right. And the end result is there is a depressingly large number of people who live their lives thinking that Elrond's that cranky "MeN aRe WeAk" killjoy dad who hates happiness and runs a glorified hotel, and it just kills me.

[teaveetamer]

Cap: *writes a blatantly sexist, racist, homophobic fic that is immensely popular and influential in the fandom and that many people have explicitly said made them feel uncomfortable when reading it*

Raxis: he's completely innocent everyone who says he ever did anything wrong are just hysterical liars with victim complexes

Moonlitboar: *says that they wanted Lambert to be more morally ambiguous and said they thought Sitri was happy in untagged posts that literally maybe a dozen people max ever saw*

Raxis: THEY DESERVED TO GET CANCELED THEY FUCKED AROUND AMD FOUND OUT THEY’RE AN ASSHOLE but i never did anything to them but i know who did but i won't tell anyone who that is BUT I'M COMPLETELY UNINVOLVED i just know exactly who is involved in this TOTALLY JUSTIFIED C A N C E L A T I O N (and totally not harassment because harassment is bad but cancelation to the point of harassment is fine)

LITERALLY what was the game plan here. His own logic makes it sound like he's actually completely down with Cap getting "canceled" AND he sounds like a blatant liar. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth for once

From the very beginning, no one on Tumblr has done anything that would break his personal definition of "normal" fandom participation. We're "harassing" Cap for talking about his fic and meta posts, but if you bring up Raxy's aggressive disregard for the block button, and how he disregards people directly asking him to leave them alone, he will be the FIRST to say "you put it on the internet so you have no right to be upset about me criticizing your dumbass takes".

He will stomp his feet and throw a tantrum if you say anything even remotely critical of Cap's fic's actual racist, sexist, and homophobic undertones, but Moonlit had one milquetoast opinion about Sitri and Lambert and they "deserve" a brutal cancellation. By his logic Cap should have been cancelled about a thousand times over by now; I'm giving him one cancellation for every use of "girls" to refer to grown women.

He will consistently justify his mistreatment of people with "but someone bullied Cap first" even if the person he's literally harassing has had nothing to do with Cap ever, but if you bring up what he demonstrably did to Moonlitboar it's "how dare you, you shouldn't 'mistreat' me for this thing I demonstrably did and even if I did do it then it wasn't my fault because they deserved it :/"

The truth of the matter is that Raxy doesn't give a shit. His "rules" for engagement are literally just "I should be allowed to react however I want whenever my feelings are hurt, and you should only be allowed to react in a way that doesn't hurt my feelings." Except this man is quite possibly the most fragile human being I have ever encountered and everything hurts his feelings. He genuinely thinks saying "I think Sitri lived a good life" is equivalent in hurtfulness to "I think it's okay to make genocide 'jokes' on your posts". Because the Sitri thing hurt his poor feelings, but well if someone tells me it's funny to remind me that my family died in the holocaust it's not his feelings getting hurt, so who gives a shit, just don't make him look too bad and he doesn't care. I wish I were kidding but that was LITERALLY his primary concern in that situation.

Not "hey talking about how genocide is cool is fucked up" or "hey maybe stop telling the woman who just told you that her family was impacted by the Holocaust that genocide is really funny and something to joke about"

Nope, it's "shut up you're making us look bad, and look now you woke Nilsh up! Don't you know I worked so hard to harass him into leaving social media!"

Like be for fucking real dude, you aren't slick. I can sum up everything you need to know about this guy's attitude in two images:

His logic looks like a mess of spaghetti because it is. Because he works backward from a conclusion ("I should be allowed to do whatever I want and no one should be allowed to do anything I don't like") and he inserts justifications as he goes, with no regard for whether or not it actually makes sense. He went from "Moonlit deserved it because they had bad takes" to "Moonlit was actually harassing me" to "I didn't actually do it anyway" to "I know exactly who did it but I won't say but it wasn't that bad" to now, apparently, "there's a conspiracy against me". He just relies on no one looking closely enough at him to notice the clear pattern. If someone does suss it out he tries to harass them into shutting up about him or he tries to delete evidence of his past logic and behavior (all the better if the person he's harassing deletes everything too, because then he can just make shit up).

The thing that really gets me is like, just how clearly unable to function he is without someone he absolutely hates to bounce off of. Does he even make original posts, or does he just constantly whine about other people's opinions? Every post I've ever seen from him about 3H, even the ones that aren't reblogs or don't have screenshots included, are like 99% "someone had an opinion I didn't agree with! Allow me to debunk it!" posts. The other 1% are recycled talking points from other people's metas, which he writes like he's got a 5,000 word paper due tomorrow that he hasn't even started and he's trying to see how much "slightly reword the wikipedia entry" he can get away with.

And not even speaking just about Raxy, but this is what pisses me off so bad about certain people in fandom. They feel empowered to harass and bully the genuinely awesome, creative people who actually make things. Those people leave, and then they have the audacity to sit there and whine about how the fandom is dead, no one is making anything, everyone left for greener pastures. They suck the life out of vibrant communities and leave nothing but a hollowed out husk. It happened with a ton of fan artists and authors in 3H, including some I'm friends with, who just had to get the fuck out because of the damage it was causing their mental health. And before he says it, no. Saying "Cap's (a white man) fic has some kinda racist and uncomfy undertones I wish he'd take some criticism to heart and correct that" is not the same thing as stalking someone and sending death threats because they have a different opinion about your favorite character. Holy fuck.

Like hey wanna know why no one wants to talk about 3H anymore? Because of this shit. Because saying "I think Lambert doing Morally Complex things is Morally Complex and therefore interesting" is the kind of opinion that can get you harassed into leaving the fandom entirely.

[pttucker]

This sort of affectionate behaviour felt uncomfortable to me, like some kind of ill-fitting clothes. Was it okay to be like this? Was it okay to experience moments like this already?

How long had it been since all of my companions were smiling together like this? Maybe, this could be our first time. They were able to smile even though the scenarios hadn't ended yet. They were able to chat away in happiness like that, and share their stories. ⸢And while looking at that spectacle, Kim Dokja suddenly felt lonely for some reason.⸥

"Well, Dokja-ssi, your communication skill has always been a little lacking, so it can't be helped, I guess. You were also like that back when we were working for the company." "…I was?" "You really didn't speak all that much to other people." I became utterly speechless after she mercilessly carpet-bombed me with facts. But then again, after giving it a bit of thought, it made total sense. I grew up without a friend from a young age. I wasn't clued in on how to socialise with other people, and back then, I only thought about how to weasel myself out of the company meal get-together. I figured that, rather than wasting time doing that, I might as well read the 'Ways of Survival' one more time instead.

I wasn't sure what to say to her. It felt as if I'd only sound like an ass just by thanking her or expressing my gratitude. The 'Ways of Survival' never taught me what I should say in moments like this.

Ughhhhh, Dokja not having a single friend and basically teaching himself how to socialize based on how characters interacted in a web novel. With the main character of said web novel being Yoo Joonghyuk so...yeah...

Granted, apparently even Joonghyuk took time to give his companions breaks and hang out with his little sister.

Of course, it's not like Dokja has ever had to pay attention to what anybody else wanted when out and about doing things, nor did he expect anybody else to pay attention to him.

Ughhhhh, the pain. I know it was heavily implied that he had no friends, like ever, on top of being badly bullied and abused and traumatized from killing his own abusive father as a little kid and mentally covering it up to the point that he thought his mother killed him, who then wrote a very popular book claiming she did just that and and and...but I think this is the first time he outright says that he never had any friends?

And it seems to also be heavily implied that the relatives who took Dokja in were perhaps not the greatest considering he apparently didn't learn how to socialize from them either and moved into a hostel at seventeen...

And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but it almost seems to me like Dokja maybe thinks, at least subconsciously, that he has to earn the right to be happy and to have friends to be happy with? Or that he has to get through the bad stuff first before being allowed to finally enjoy life? (And doesn't that say a lot about his own life in the Before?)

He mentions twice that they're happy and smiling before the end of the scenarios, with one of the times literally being him saying, "Was it okay to be like this? Was it okay to experience moments like this already?" And he just feels so alienated and alone at seeing them all do exactly that, meanwhile he's got serious anxiety about all this "affectionate behavior" that can be ripped away at any moment. That he hasn't secured yet.

And maybe that's just it. Maybe he's just worried about having fun when there's still a threat nearby that can swoop down on them at any moment, and that in and of itself says a lot about his mentality and you can see pretty easily how that can tie into aspects of his past.

And that's not even getting into the fact that some part of Dokja probably feels that getting them to the end is kind of what he's there for, it's how he proves his worth and his love for them. He has no "place" at the big found family barbecue.

Ughhhh, someone please just cuddle him. 😭 Who wants to start the Kim Dokja cuddle pile? Kids? Hyunsung?

[foxluvrz]

10/10/24

first period, i had to go to first period (in Q's) for attendance at first, and because he had opt out forms for a wrestling thing we'll be doing in PE. i personally am VERY weak physically it's kind of funny, so im obviously planning on opting out of a wrestling day. but Q came around to my table and was joking(hopefully) saying about how I should really do it, because my friends were all telling me how I ahould do it. also i genuinely need Q to joke more like that with me because im not used to it like i am with T so whenever Q does it I sound genuinely idiotic😭

the rest of today was a little different compared to normal. my grade earned a gameday with a rewards and distribution system my school does which meant for our halfday it was essentially all a freeday and we were allowed to bring electronic and what not for video games. i brought my drawing laptop and say in T's room with a few of my friends because they were all in there playing switch, but I can't really play any games on my laptop because the graphics card is so bad. my friend L and i both didn't mind the idea of leavong to go to another room and we wanted to play uno (card games) so we were planning on going to Q's room. literally as we walked out (i'm making this as specific to my day as possible) of T's door we passed Q in the hallway so i asked him if it was okay for me and L to switch over into his room and he was like "for you two we dont have any room" in his INCREDIBLY monotone voice, so his sarcasm was INSANELY painful to hear. he was in fact just messing with us and then told me that it's fine that we go into there but it is a tad bit embarrassing because i think he might actually find me as an idiot after that one😭 anyways L and i had to drop stuff off at our lockers so we had to pass Q's door. when we were coming back towards his room he came round the corner suddenly and asked if we were still planning on going into his room and when we answered yes he spoke "good." while walking around and i may be over analyzing this but me and L were so like confuaed by that. Me, L, and a different L(C) all played a few rounds of uno when someone turned off the lights and we had the idea to play hidenseek in the dark in Q's room alone (ik it sounds like a stupid idea but genuinely it was fun and we were all bored out of our minds). i barely remember the first few rounds, but the final round I was going to ask Q if I could hide behind his desk because i didn't think they'd check behind it if he was working at it, until my friend A cut in front of my and asked first. Luckily Q told us that we both could so it did end up working, and i feel so bad because we would've won if i could shut up but i kept laughing for no fucking reason and holy shit NEVER LET ME PLAY HIDE N SEEK THAT CLOSE TO MY TC EVER AGAIN. uhm collectively we all sort of talked with Q when we were all in there but i did actually get a few words in and it was sort of nice to talk to him not during class and honestly i didn't feel as scared because of the people I was with. also, Q is suprisingly incredibly chill with us as long as we're not being completely stupid with ourselves xd. anyways i think i need to be careful with how much i TRY to talk to him incase he finds me a bit annoying but im not sure😭 ALSO I JUST FOUND OUT WE ARE SWITCHING SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHERS AT THE END OF THE QUARTER EHICFH MEANS I'LL ONLY HAVE MATH WITH Q ☹️