#But you know who might?

[jtl-fics]

But also... Andreil on the great British bake off (they have celebrity seasons)

Look, I'm gonna be honest.

It's a disaster in two parts.

Neil is there EXPLICITLY because Stuart found out that he had been asked to go do it because he is technically British. Stuart has asked him to be the bane of Paul Hollywood's existence and is willing to do quite a bit to make the man's life hell.

"He knows what he did." is all Stuart will say on the matter.

Neil agrees to come be a Baker on the stipulation that Andrew also gets to come. Andrew has no interest in baking other than what it can produce for him to eat, he has no desire to do the laborious task of baking himself.

Stuart offers him an Aston.

Andrew agrees.

Neil is a nightmare in the tent. He hates desserts. He hates measuring. He has never done a single prep bake. He has no idea what the desserts are during the technical challenge. He just goes with his gut (his iron gut). He produces three straight desserts that Paul will not let Prue eat for fear that she will just straight up die if she eats it. He is a pile of misery upon consuming all three.

When Neil is kicked off in round one no one is surprised. Paul pats Neil on the back as he leaves the tent and Neil just leans in, "Stuart Hatford sends his regards." he says now that the mic has been removed. Paul Hollywood's tan fades but Neil doesn't look back.

Andrew is a nightmare for a completely different reason and that reason is that he very visibly and honestly does not give a single flying fuck about what he's doing but he's doing quite well. He is the most boring man on camera, zero quips, won't interact with Noel and whoever the fuck is the other presenter by this point, just him doing exactly what the recipe requires and then he always makes a point of grabbing whatever Paul and Prue have judged and taking it all back to his station so that he can eat it. He stares straight into the camera as he eats an entire three tier cake. He dedicates every week he is Star Baker to his inspiration: Kevin Day.

Andrew makes it all the way to the Finals with impressive bakes that he basically just decided on 100% by how much he thinks it would upset Kevin to watch him eat it knowing that he SHOULD be doing weight training for the olympics. ("Weight TRAINING not Weight GAINING Andrew! Do you have to hold up two fingers as you eat the entire thing? Can you at least PRETEND it's not to SPITE me?" Kevin wails as Andrew calls him for the post-credit scene where the star bakers call their families usually but Andrew just uses it so everyone can hear Kevin Day lose his mind on Public Access.)

Andrew gets to the finals and his show stopper....it's immaculate. It's gorgeous. It's a work of art. Paul Hollywood is looking at this feat of modern baking engineering in wonder.

He shakes Andrew's hand before he even tastes it and-

"Stuart Hatford sends his regards."

Paul Hollywood is now nervous to eat this cake. Does he look out at the gathered friends and family of the contestants and see Stuart Hatford? Does he remember what he did?

He eats the cake because show obligations and it tastes as good as it looks but he is oddly silent as Prue talks about it.

Andrew Wins and Paul Hollywood stays exactly one entire party's width away from Neil, Stuart, and Andrew during the entire victory picnic.

Andrew gives his post bake-off speech and flat out says it was kind of boring and he wants to go home to America. The next scene is him driving off with Neil in an Aston Martin.

Edit: Thanks @the-inner-musings-of-a-worm for the idea once again!

[hinamie]

mentor

[novelconcepts]

I Saw the TV Glow is such a uniquely, devastatingly queer story. Two queer kids trapped in suburbia. Both of them sensing something isn’t quite right with their lives. Both of them knowing that wrongness could kill them. One of them getting out, trying on new names, new places, new ways of being. Trying to claw her way to fully understanding herself, trying to grasp the true reality of her existence. Succeeding. Going back to help the other, to try so desperately to rescue an old friend, to show the path forward. Being called crazy. Because, to someone who hasn’t gotten out, even trying seems crazy. Feels crazy. Looks, on the surface, like dying.

And to have that other queer kid be so terrified of the internal revolution that is accepting himself that he inadvertently stays buried. Stays in a situation that will suffocate him. Choke the life out of him. Choke the joy out of him. Have him so terrified of possibly being crazy that he, instead, lives with a repression so extreme, it quite literally is killing him. And still, still, he apologizes for it. Apologizes over and over and over, to people who don’t see him. Who never have. Who never will. Because it’s better than being crazy. Because it’s safer than digging his way out. Killing the image everyone sees to rise again as something free and true and authentic. My god. My god, this movie. It shattered me.

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[ruporas]

need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

[arealtrashact]

Newest additions to the pack

[technically-human]

Bisexual crisis Crystal edition

[bumblebeebats]

Reading Queen of the Damned rn and I am ON. THE. FLOOR. at this fucking 500yo grown ass vampire painstakingly feeding individual paper towels to the garbage disposal at 1am. Daniel. Hello, Daniel. Wake up, I need you to purchase some more food coloring for me Daniel. I saw an interesting recipe for glitter slime on the TikTok which I am interested in trying. And then I shall put it down the Garbage Disposer and listen to the delightful sound. Daniel please

[maeamian]

Hey Americans, double check that you don't have an election tomorrow, Nov 7th 2023, I know the off years are harder to keep track of, but it'd be a shame if Moms for Liberty gets their people on your school district's school boards because of it. If you don't have an election, great!, but just give it a double check for me if you're not sure ok?

[verflares]

(draconifies your zelink) oh whoops lol

+ an extra pic of em hanging out together :]

btw, you can find these guys on inprnt! both as a pair, or apart :] You Choose.

[paradox-n-bedrock]

me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-

*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*

me: okay, folks, it's you and me now

[wasabi-gumdrop]

Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!

[arttsuka]

So, @wolfythewitch 's gravity fowls au...

[bigfatbreak]

Is chole name already "owned"?

yup! but Zoe genuinely sees her as a sister, so she never orders Chloe to do anything she wouldn't do already.

[pigeonstab]

@somegrumpynerd :3c Cross getting his first toy ever

I think it's the kind of thing he brings everywhere cuz it's his comfort item.. and he's never had a comfort item before

[morganbritton132]

Eddie posts a TikTok that like 60% shaky cam where he saw Steve minding his own business and decided to attack him.

He gets Steve to the floor and pins him down. Steve’s clearly having fun being straddled when Eddie shoves his phone in his face, “Sttttttevie. Guess what? I figured out Google’s problem.”

Steve laughs, “what is it?”

“You never come to my stuff,” He says in a voice so whiny, Steve starts laughing again. “Google doesn’t know who you are.”

“Google knows me!” Steve scoffs. “I won an award. It was the paper. And I go to events! I went to the last one.”

“You wanted to see Chapelle Roan!”