#Andrew is never invited back for any all stars follow-ups

[jtl-fics]

But also... Andreil on the great British bake off (they have celebrity seasons)

Look, I'm gonna be honest.

It's a disaster in two parts.

Neil is there EXPLICITLY because Stuart found out that he had been asked to go do it because he is technically British. Stuart has asked him to be the bane of Paul Hollywood's existence and is willing to do quite a bit to make the man's life hell.

"He knows what he did." is all Stuart will say on the matter.

Neil agrees to come be a Baker on the stipulation that Andrew also gets to come. Andrew has no interest in baking other than what it can produce for him to eat, he has no desire to do the laborious task of baking himself.

Stuart offers him an Aston.

Andrew agrees.

Neil is a nightmare in the tent. He hates desserts. He hates measuring. He has never done a single prep bake. He has no idea what the desserts are during the technical challenge. He just goes with his gut (his iron gut). He produces three straight desserts that Paul will not let Prue eat for fear that she will just straight up die if she eats it. He is a pile of misery upon consuming all three.

When Neil is kicked off in round one no one is surprised. Paul pats Neil on the back as he leaves the tent and Neil just leans in, "Stuart Hatford sends his regards." he says now that the mic has been removed. Paul Hollywood's tan fades but Neil doesn't look back.

Andrew is a nightmare for a completely different reason and that reason is that he very visibly and honestly does not give a single flying fuck about what he's doing but he's doing quite well. He is the most boring man on camera, zero quips, won't interact with Noel and whoever the fuck is the other presenter by this point, just him doing exactly what the recipe requires and then he always makes a point of grabbing whatever Paul and Prue have judged and taking it all back to his station so that he can eat it. He stares straight into the camera as he eats an entire three tier cake. He dedicates every week he is Star Baker to his inspiration: Kevin Day.

Andrew makes it all the way to the Finals with impressive bakes that he basically just decided on 100% by how much he thinks it would upset Kevin to watch him eat it knowing that he SHOULD be doing weight training for the olympics. ("Weight TRAINING not Weight GAINING Andrew! Do you have to hold up two fingers as you eat the entire thing? Can you at least PRETEND it's not to SPITE me?" Kevin wails as Andrew calls him for the post-credit scene where the star bakers call their families usually but Andrew just uses it so everyone can hear Kevin Day lose his mind on Public Access.)

Andrew gets to the finals and his show stopper....it's immaculate. It's gorgeous. It's a work of art. Paul Hollywood is looking at this feat of modern baking engineering in wonder.

He shakes Andrew's hand before he even tastes it and-

"Stuart Hatford sends his regards."

Paul Hollywood is now nervous to eat this cake. Does he look out at the gathered friends and family of the contestants and see Stuart Hatford? Does he remember what he did?

He eats the cake because show obligations and it tastes as good as it looks but he is oddly silent as Prue talks about it.

Andrew Wins and Paul Hollywood stays exactly one entire party's width away from Neil, Stuart, and Andrew during the entire victory picnic.

Andrew gives his post bake-off speech and flat out says it was kind of boring and he wants to go home to America. The next scene is him driving off with Neil in an Aston Martin.

Edit: Thanks @the-inner-musings-of-a-worm for the idea once again!

[inventedrecords]

Total Eclipse of My Art by Bonnie Tyler (EP - 1984)

The story of how mega-selling Welsh chanteuse, Bonnie Tyler, came to record a bizarre EP of Goth covers hinges upon the influence of Invented Records founder, Max Scratch.

This South London Svengali, equal parts Andrew Loog Oldham and Nosferatu, had a misfiring genius for pulling people into his vainglorious, chemically-driven visions and then completely fucking up their execution.

He genuinely loved nurturing leftfield talent – often willing to make a bet on the next big thing based on one gig in a dingey pub. Those bets were almost always completely wrong, as is evidenced by the continuing irrelevance of the Invented Records back-catalogue.

However disastrous his navigation of the music business, Max had two things that meant he was the most connected man in the British music scene during the 1980s: a seemingly never-ending supply of primo-grade narcotics – and copious amounts of blackmail material.

Some have described him as a gangster, but only after he disappeared whilst holidaying in Thanet during the summer of 1997.

Scratch’s base of operations during the 1980s was his Croydon nightclub, ‘Das Boot’. I’ll no doubt cover the tawdry history of this concrete sonic bunker at some point, but all you need to know for the purposes of this post is that on one star-crossed sweltering Saturday night in July 1984, Bonnie Tyler, Wayne Hussey of the Sisters of Mercy and Ian Astbury of The Cult were all sharing a booth in the Das Boot VIP lounge, hosted by the loquacious Invented Records impresario.

Tyler was an international megastar at the time, but her new single ‘Holding Out For A Hero’ was barely registered on the charts (though it would go to number 2 the following year). She was in London to promote the single, but felt it wasn’t her best work after the Wagnerian grandeur of her previous collaborations with Jim Steinman. She was looking for a new musical direction and, surprisingly, was a big fan of the rapidly evolving Goth genre. “I loved Bauhaus, Birthday Party, but especially the Sisters. I was handed a tape of their music by Duncan Kilburn from the Psychedelic Furs,” she later revealed in an interview. “I was recording in LA and the Furs were in the studio next door. Duncan was wearing a Merciful Release T-shirt and that got us talking. I listened to the tape repeatedly whenever I got a moment. It was so dark and raw – miles from the polished fluff I felt I was recording at the time.”

Having floated into Tyler’s circle via his acquaintance with her manager, Ronnie Scott, Scratch invited her down to Das Boot without knowing any of this.

The Sisters of Mercy had just finished recording their first album, ‘First and Last and Always’, but Hussey was increasingly estranged from Sisters lead singer, Andrew Eldritch, before the album had even been released. He came to Das Boot to discuss moving to Invented Records with a newly configured band.

Finally, Astbury of The Cult had turned up because he was shit-faced after a gig promoting recently released album, Dreamtime. He knew Scratch was good for cheap amphetamines.

In the booth that night, Tyler hit it off with both men, and, ever attuned to the main chance, Scratch offered to take them all to the Invented studio above the club for a jam session.

Pulling in a few random musicians from the darker corners of Das Boot, Scratch acted as engineer himself, as Tyler recorded some very rough one-take tracks with Hussey on lead guitar, and Astbury on percussion and backing vocals.

“It was amazing how great her voice was – she just kept belting out these amazing vocals, despite the epic intake of tequila and cigarettes,” Hussey said.

As dawn reluctantly illuminated Croydon’s cut-price imitation of the Manhattan skyline, Tyler was tracked down by her management and whisked into a limo. Perhaps, once sober, she realised that Goth wasn’t her future. Perhaps, fearing for their income stream, Ronnie Scott and Steve Wolfe persuaded her to drop the idea.

Either way, Bonnie Tyler continued in an increasingly mainstream musical direction. Even if she had any memory of that crazy Croydon night, it was quickly forgotten due to the whirlwind of touring commitments.

However, Scratch had not forgotten. Four of the tracks from that funereal jam session to would eventually surface on the EP, ‘Total Eclipse of My Art’, released by Invented in October 1984.

[paralleljulieverse]

‘Gentlemen like you are few...’: A Supercentenary Tribute to Irwin Kostal

1 October 2021 marks the 110th anniversary of the birth of Irwin Kostal, the musical arranger, orchestrator and conductor whose work helped shape the sound of the post-war American stage and screen musical. In this post we look back at the career of this remarkable 'music man’ with a particular focus on his collaborations with the equally remarkable Julie Andrews -- who, as it happens, shares the same birthday, so this post is doing double birthday honours.

A gentle, unassuming man, Kostal or ‘Irv’ as he was known by associates, was not one for the limelight. It’s possibly why he gravitated to the ‘behind-the-scenes’ art of musical arranging. Unlike composers, performers, or even conductors, arrangers seldom loom large in public perceptions of professional musicianship. They are, for the most part, the ‘invisible artists’ of the music industry: their contributions to the sound and experience of music are immense, but they remain largely ‘uncredited in records, liner notes or books or records’ (Niles 2104, p. 4). That Irwin Kostal would ultimately prove a rare exception to this tradition of thankless anonymity -- becoming sufficiently well-known to have his own name not only included on recordings, but emblazoned on the front cover alongside those of the ‘star’ vocalists with whom he worked -- is a testament to the singularity of his talents. 

Born the son of first generation immigrant parents in Chicago in 1911, Kostal claimed he was instantly ‘smitten’ by music when he saw a piano at the age of two-and-a-half, but his family was too poor to afford such luxuries. Moreover, his father -- a hard-drinking Czech with a fiery temper -- was ‘rigidly opposed’ to his interests in music and ‘could see no future in it’ (’Irwin’ 1962, p. 70). So Kostal initially had to content himself with listening and absorbing as much musical knowledge as he could indirectly. When he was eleven, his father finally brought home a broken player piano salvaged from a removals job and it provided the young Kostal with the launch pad he needed. 

Kostal devoted himself to his musical education with single-minded zeal. His formal training was intermittent -- enabled by a supportive mother who ‘surreptitiously managed to save money from her weekly allowance for my musical instruction’ (’Irwin’ 1962, p. 70) -- but he was a passionate autodidact who would spend countless hours studying and practising on his own. By age 15, he was already playing professionally with local touring bands, while also offering his own services as a piano teacher with, at one point, more than 40 pupils (ibid.).

When he wasn’t playing, Kostal would be found in the local library poring over musical scores and reading about the greats of the classical canon. He was particularly intrigued by orchestration and the possibilities it offered for varying the sound and feel of music. He recalls how he would take orchestral scores home and study all the parts learning ‘about musical instruments I never knew existed’ (Suskin 2009, p. 56).  He progressively worked his way through the music of the masters, going alphabetically: 

‘Bach...Beethoven, Brahms, Debussy, Elgar, Frank, Gounod, on and on through the alphabet...I tried to absorb everything. By the time I came to Ravel, Tchaikovsky and Wagner, I knew quite a lot about music in a jumbled way’ (Suskin 2009, p. 57).

While still in his teens, Kostal started to experiment with arrangements of his own, scoring a high school production of Uncle Tom’s Cabin with multiple variations on the American folk melody ‘Way Down upon the Swanee River’. ‘By taking away the rhythmic aspects and playing it in a minor key,’ he recounts, ‘I found lots of ways to play this song, making it fit the dramatics of the half-hour long story’ (ibid., p. 56). Thus, Irwin Kostal the arranger was born.

Throughout the 1930s and early-40s, Kostal honed his talents in a professional capacity, working with various big bands, before finally landing a job as a resident arranger for an NBC radio affiliate in Chicago. Following the war, Kostal moved to New York where, after a rocky start, he secured regular work as conductor and arranger on a number of long-running radio and TV variety shows including Your Show of Shows (1950-54), Max Liebman Presents (1954-56), and The Garry Moore Show (1959-63). It was demanding, fast-paced work with Kostal having to arrange and orchestrate hundreds of score pages a week, but it consolidated his musical versatility and capacity to work across a wide range of styles and forms (Suskin 2009, pp. 57-60).

Throughout this period, Kostal was also orchestrating for Broadway shows, racking up over 52 credits on theatre productions big and small (Allen 1995, p. 18). Many of these assignments were done in a ‘ghost-writer’ capacity including contributing work to such classic musicals as Wonderful Town (1953), The Pajama Game (1953) and Silk Stockings (1955). A major breakthrough came when Kostal was contracted to work in a credited capacity as co-orchestrator on the original Broadway production of West Side Story (1958) -- collaborating with Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim and Sid Ramin. It earned him his first Grammy Award and a subsequent invitation to arrange and orchestrate a string of other big Broadway musicals including Fiorello! (1959), Sail Away (1961) and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1962).

The success of West Side Story also saw Kostal do repeat honours on the film version (1961) which would, in turn, earn him an Academy Award and kickstart a hugely successful Hollywood career. In 1963, Kostal was invited by none other than Walt Disney to take on the major job of arranging the songs for Mary Poppins (1964) which had been written by the in-house Disney composing team of Richard M. and Robert B. Sherman. The Sherman Brothers claim to have suggested Kostal because they were fans of his Broadway work and they wanted a bright theatrical sound for the score. However, Walt Disney demurred. He reasoned it was a period film and they needed someone who could write music for any style or era, suggesting they get the musical director from The Garry Moore Show instead. Cue mutual delight when it was discovered they were all referring to the same man, Irwin Kostal (Sherman & Sherman 1998; Suskin 2009, p. 65).

Kostal’s work on Mary Poppins catapulted him to new heights of mainstream success. It not only secured him another Academy Award nomination -- he lost to Andre Previn for his work on My Fair Lady -- but it also brought him a tidy fortune in royalties from the film’s best-selling soundtrack album (’Kostal’s’ $65,000′, 57). His fame -- and fortune -- skyrocketed even further the following year when Kostal was contracted to arrange the score for The Sound of Music (1965). His dazzling efforts on this box-office blockbuster confirmed Kostal’s status as Hollywood’s presiding musical wonder-boy and saw him walk home with his second Oscar. A string of other big screen musicals followed including Half a Sixpence (1967), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971). 

Many of these films were repeat collaborations because Kostal favoured working with people he knew and with whom he clicked personally and creatively. He would for example continue as the de facto ‘house’ arranger for Disney well into the 1980s, working on various assignments for the studio including Pete’s Dragon (1978), Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983) and the controversial re-recorded 1982 release of Fantasia (1940/1982) (Tietyan 1990). Kostal would also maintain a long association with the Sherman Brothers, acting as musical arranger for all their big screen musicals including the aforementioned Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971), as well as Tom Sawyer (1973); Charlotte’s Web (1973); and The Magic of Lassie (1978) (Sherman & Sherman 1998).

The other great collaboration of Kostal’s career was of course with Julie Andrews. Perhaps it was the fact that the pair shared the same birthday but Kostal had an extraordinarily sympathetic relationship with Julie and he would work with her more than any other vocalist. Long before they teamed on Poppins and The Sound of Music, Julie and ‘Irv’ were making musical magic together. Kostal was the arranger and conductor for Julie’s first two solo albums for RCA: The Lass with the Delicate Air (1957) and Julie Andrews Sings (1958) where his sensitive facility with a wide range of musical idioms from English classical to Broadway and Tin Pan Alley came to the fore. Reviewing the first of these albums at the time of its original release, one music critic lauded it as ‘a record to charm every member of the family...[with] a combination of sincerity and simplicity and wholesome sweetness...Thank goodness arranger and conductor Irwin Kostal met the challenge and set the ballads winningly without overpowering Miss Andrews’ light pure tones’ (RRS 1958, p. 5A). In a similar vein, another reviewer praised the second album for ‘its charming unforced version of standards, well known and almost forgotten...Miss Andrews still sings naturally and purely [and] the deft accompaniments played by an orchestra under Irwin Kostal are agreeably restrained’ (Masters 1959, p. 11).

In this early period Kostal also worked with Julie as guest star on several episodes of The Garry Moore Show, where he was resident musical director. In this context, Kostal was pivotal in helping establish the legendary teaming of Julie and Carol Burnett which came out of the Garry Moore appearances. He would go on to act as musical director for their breakout 1962 TV special Julie and Carol at Carnegie Hall which would earn Kostal his first Emmy (Taraborelli 1988, pp. 172-79). He would secure his second Emmy a few years later working with Julie again on the 1965 variety special, The Julie Andrews Show (1965) where, among other highlights, Kostal scored a series of stellar song-and-dance medleys for Julie and guest star Gene Kelly. The same year, Kostal teamed up with Julie on yet another recording with the 1965 edition of the annual Firestone Christmas albums. 

It was however their combined work on the two big musical mega-hits, Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music, that secured the Kostal-Andrews partnership a place in the history books. A cultural phenomenon of the highest order, the soundtrack recordings for these two films remain among the most successful albums of all time. Mary Poppins held the #1 spot on the US national music charts for 14 consecutive weeks in 1964, beating out Elvis Presley and The Beatles (Hollis and Erhbar 2006, pp.72ff). The album for The Sound of Music sold over 9 million copies in its first four years of release alone, remaining in the Billboard Top 100 for an unbelievable five-and-a-half years, and becoming the highest selling LP of all-time in the US up to that date (Murrells, 1978)  The Sound of Music continued its record-breaking run abroad, dominating the international charts and holding the #1 spot for 75 weeks in Australia, 73 weeks in Norway and 70 weeks in the UK, becoming in the process the single biggest selling album worldwide of the 1960s (Harker, 1992, pp. 189-91).

Commentators have frequently singled out the combination of Julie Andrews’ soaring vocals and Kostal’s dynamic arrangements as instrumental to the phenomenal success of these two albums. ‘Miss Andrews glows--positively glows--right through the record groove, vinyl disc, amplifiers, speakers, and all other mechanical barriers,’ enthused one contemporary reviewer of the Mary Poppins soundtrack, noting how the ‘songs that Richard M. and Robert B. Sherman have written’ and ‘the handsome arrangements by Irwin Kostal have the perfect balance ‘of lilt and flair to provide Miss Andrews with an effective working basis’ (Wilson 1965, p. 109). Apropos The Sound of Music, another critic pronounced it ‘as good a reproduction of a score as has ever been made’, noting how it ‘presents Julie in a most appealing role and given the splendid musical direction of Irwin Kostal, her talent comes shining through...as a treat beyond measure’ (Moore 1965, p. B6). 

In total, Julie Andrews and Irwin Kostal would work together on six recordings, two musical motion pictures, two television specials, and a host of other TV appearances representing some of the very best of Julie’s musical work during her heyday of the 1960s. Considered alongside the wealth of Kostal’s other work across film, stage, television and recording, it’s hard not to concur with Disney’s Nelson Meecham who, on the occasion of Kostal’s passing in 1994, eulogised: ‘He brought the joy of music to more people than it is possible to count’ (Allen, p. 19).

Sources:

Allen, John F 1995. ‘Remembering a Music Man: On the life and work of Irwin Kostal.’ Boxoffice. August: pp. 18-19.

Harker, Dave 1992. ‘Still Crazy After All These Years: What was popular music in the 1960s?” Cultural Revolution? The challenge of the arts in the 1960s. Bart Moore-Gilbert and John Seed, eds. Routledge, London and New York: pp. 186-200.

Hollis, Tim and Erhbar, Greg 2006. Mouse Tracks: The Story of Walt Disney Records. Jackson: University Press of Mississippi.

‘Irwin Kostal: Music in all its many forms is his life.’ (1962). The Province. 2 June: p. 70.

’Kostal’s’ $65,000 Poppins Score’ 1965. Variety. 10 March: p. 57

Levy, Charles 1964. Mary Poppins: About the stars and photo-story features [Press kit]. Buena Vista Distribution, New York. 

Masters, John 1959. ‘Off the Record: Enchanting Music.’ The Age. 7 January: p. 11.

Moore, Robert 1965. ‘Record Turntable: Julie Andrews out in front again in film album of”Sound of Music”.’ The Arizona Daily Star. 7 March: p. B6.

Murrells, Joseph, ed. 1978. Book of Golden Discs: Records that sold a million. Barrie & Jenkins, New York.

Niles, Richard 2014. The Invisible Artist: Arrangers in popular music (1950-2000). BMI, London.

Oliver, Myrna. 1994. ‘Obituaries: Irwin Kostal; Film, TV Orchestrator.’ The Los Angeles Times. 1 December: P. B8.

RRS 1958. ‘On the Record: ‘Lass with the Delicate Air.’ Bristol Herald Courier. 9 February: p. 5A.

Sherman, Robert B &  Sherman, Richard M 1998. Walt's Time: From before to beyond. Camphor Tree, Santa Clarita, CA.

Suskin, Steven 2009. The Sound of Broadway Music: A book of orchestrators and orchestrations, Oxford University Press, New York.

Taraborelli, J. Randy 1988. Laughing Till It Hurts: The complete life and career of Carol Burnett. William Morrow & Co, New York.

Tietyan, David 1990. The Musical World of Walt Disney. H. Leonard, Milwaukee, Wis. 

Wilson, John S. 1965. ‘The Lighter Side’. High Fidelity Magazine. 15: 4: pp. 107-111.

© 2021, Brett Farmer. All Rights Reserved.

[simonsrosebud]

Alright — this is very important — what’s the wedding party look like? Do either of them get walked down the aisle? What do the bachelor parties look like? What’s the first dance like? The cake cutting? OR! Do they just elope?

Either way, the most important thing of all — what are their vows?

i’m going to warn you:  i’m afraid this is going to be a very long post.

the wedding is in january, before playoffs have the chance to start up.  it’s easier that way also, because most of their friends either play exy or coach it, so they’re all off too.  and dalton’s professor friends are off for winter break.

that being said, they’re on a time crunch for bachelor parties.  and since kevin doesn’t drink or anything, the idea of the “typical bachelor” party is out of question.  kevin doesn’t care for a bachelor party for himself, anyway.

however, when andrew is added to a groupchat with the whole wedding party, he sends two texts.  not to the group, but to allison.  she’s the one handling it, anyway.

the first text is a link to elton john at madison square garden, the second is a text.  

hamilton on broadway friday the 14th, concert 15th.

(ik the timelines don’t technically match up, but since this is all fictional who cares)

it’s perfect.  allison checks with dalton to be sure, and he lights up.  apparently kevin has gotten really into hamilton because duh it’s history, and elton john is one of his favorite artists, especially after dalton introduced him to “your song” in college.

dalton goes with him because they know kevin would want him there, unlike normal bachelor parties where you spend it without your fiancé.

as for dalton’s, he gets taken to florida (it’s only like a 5 hour drive i think but they could fly also) and his friends, who for the most part are straight besides emmie, a blazing proud lesbian, take him to gay bars on gay bars, and then go to star wars land in disney world for a day- kevin’s idea.  dalton is very excited about this because in this ask dalton reveals he’s a star wars fan and says he’d like to go see it someday.  they also get drunk in disney, don’t worry.

they both have good sized wedding parties.  for dalton, it’s carmen, bella, and his best friends jenna, reid, and sam.

for kevin, it’s andrew, neil, and dan.  if anyone asked kevin in college if he’d thought she would be in his wedding party- or even if they’d leave college being friends, he would have said no, but he was stupid to think the foxes would ever lose touch.  if anything, he got closer.

he’s also gotten closer than he ever would have probably wished to allison.  there’s something to be said for the both of them having good taste.  all it took was one trip of clothes shopping for a banquet for them to realize they’d had a lot more in common.

the only reason they never realized it was because they’ve both got the same level of stubbornness.

which is why she somehow ends up being asked to be in his wedding party, too.

kevin isn’t worried about asking neil.  a little about andrew, but he can always get neil to talk him into it.  he stops them both from leaving after practice, one day.  “will you be my groomsmen?  both of you?”

neil really doesn’t look surprised.  not even phased.  he’d been matt’s best man, after all.  “yeah, sure.”

kevin looks to andrew, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

when he does, it’s to swing his bag around his shoulder.  "no speeches.”  and before he gets to the door.  “and no one’s wrapping their arm around mine down the aisle.”  and that’s more than okay with kevin.  he doesn’t really want them speaking, anyway.

and then there’s dan and allison.  he isn’t worried about them, so all he does is text them and they agree.

there’s no more than 70 people there.  the actual ceremony only about 30.  it’s not big by any means, but they didn’t want it big anyway.  plus, kevin doesn’t have a whole group of family to invite like dalton does in the first place.  he doesn’t mind, though, because he’s grown to consider dalton’s family his own.

kevin doesn’t get walked down the aisle.  he never saw himself doing that with a woman before he realized he was bi and could potentially marry a man, so he’s never cared for it.

wymack, however, officiates the wedding.  he’s very proud of it, too.  he never seems to show nerves, and he doesn’t let kevin know, but this is something that causes him great stress.  he can’t fuck it up.

he doesn’t, of course.

he’s standing beside kevin when dalton gets walked down the aisle by his mother, and kevin told himself he wouldn’t get emotional.

he lets out a breath and a soft laugh, then looks up at the ceiling to blink away the sudden wetness in his eyes.

when anne hands him off, she kisses kevin on the cheek and whispers.  “all yours now, love.”

kevin wants to kiss dalton so bad.  so so bad.  but he has to wait.  instead he gives him a wink and takes his hands.  he expects them to be a tiny bit sweaty like they sometimes are when he gets nervous, but they’re not.  dalton’s grip is firm, and the only thing kevin can see on him is glee.

kevin feels he barely can pay attention to the words his father is saying until it’s time for the vows.  he’s first.  he takes a deep breath.pays attention to what his father is saying, too busy staring at his fiancé.  until they get to the vows, that is.

kevin is first, and his heart has never beat this fast.  he memorized his vows, but just in case, he unfolds the paper from his pocket and takes the microphone.  “i’ve made plenty of bad decisions in my life.  going to the club the night before a game, trying to fix the kitchen sink by myself.”  he smiles when dalton laughs at the memory.  “d, i knew from the moment i told you about my demons and you stayed, that choosing you was the best decision i’ve made in my entire life.  your are the strength i didn't know i needed, and the joy that i didn't know i lacked.”  dalton mouths i love you.  “thank you, for supporting and loving me unconditionally, i know i haven’t always made it easy.”

dalton gives the slightest shake of his head at that one.  loving kevin comes as easy as breathing.

“thank you for showing me how to accept myself, and showing me what it’s like to find peace, to know what it’s like to feel wanted and loved.  thank you for helping me to better myself as a man and a partner.  you make me a better person in every single way, and i promise to put it all to use and give back every single day of our lives.  i promise to love you through every hardship, to love you for who you are and who you are yet to become.  i promise to support and help you in every new adventure, and to always be at your side.  i promise to be patient and loyal.  i promise to remember to show you every day how deeply i care for you.  i promise to share my whole heart with you, to love you fiercely— for the rest of my life.  as long as you’ll have me.”

dalton blinks away tears, and after taking a moment, he accepts the microphone.  "kev,” he whispers, and takes a breath.  kevin knows he has his written down, but he doesn’t take it out.  he doesn’t need it.  “i used to think that i just got lucky that some random hot kid asked me for help with his homework.”  kevin grins.

“but i’ve realized now that the universe put you in front of me for a reason.  you have filled my life with happiness and have given me a sense of peace that i’ve never known.  you are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the best co-pilot in life that i could’ve ever wished for.”  he smiles.  “today marks the start to the rest of our lives, whether we’re ready or not.  i will not take our time together for granted. and because words can’t do it, i promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much i love you.  i promise to encourage you to follow your dreams.  to support you through any of life’s obstacles.  i promise to make you laugh when you’re taking yourself too seriously.  i promise to hold your hand through the good and the bad, to keep you afloat when you feel you’re drowning.  i promise to share the weight on your shoulders like it’s my own.”

a tear drops from kevin’s eye, and dalton reaches to gently wipe it with his thumb before grabbing his hand.  “i promise to never stop making up my own lyrics to songs i don’t know. although, i know you wish i would.  i promise to look back on our lives when we’re old and gray and have no regrets.  i promise, from this day forward, kevin day, that you will never walk alone.”  he lowers the microphone, whispering.  “as long as you’ll have me.”

it’s a very emotional ceremony, that’s for sure, but they’re grinning by the time the rings go on, and dalton barely holds back from jumping kevin before he can say, “you may now kiss.”

kevin has his arms around dalton’s waist and dalton’s hands on his cheek and the back of his neck, and they’re both smiling into the kiss less than two seconds in.  but kevin doesn’t care.  dalton’s laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard and he relishes in it as he crushes him in a hug before tearing back down the aisle.

their first dance is to “your song” by elton john.  is it probably overused?  sure, but kevin isn’t into music enough to know or care about that.  it’s the song that

it’s always been dalton’s go to song to sing in the car, and whenever he does he tends to just kind of grab onto kevin’s hand while he sings.  he’s no harry styles but he can hold a tune just fine.

it then turned into a song kevin listened to on bus or plane rides, and when he entered the pros dalton started sending him voice memos on text of him singing like two lines from the song before his every flight.

kevin also played it in the car back to the cabin after he proposed.

it’s their song.

dalton pulls kevin to him for the first dance, with one hand holding kevin’s and the other pressed against the small of his back.  and dalton’s singing along just loud enough for kevin to hear.  it makes him smile at his dork of a husband, and halfway through the song kevin lays his head on dalton’s shoulder and slides his arms around his neck.  he closes his eyes and ever so quietly sings along.  

dalton kisses the side of his head and wraps his arms around kevin’s waist.

when the song is coming to an end, dalton kisses kevin and smiles as he sings the last lines to him.  “how wonderful life is while you’re in the world”

kevin smiles.  “sweetheart,” he whispers.

but then the song ends, and kevin leans back against their table as dalton takes the floor with anne for the mother son dance.  he sends a thought up to kayleigh.

“i’m incredibly proud of you.”  it’s abby at his side, sliding her arm around his waist.  she kisses his cheek.  “i know you know this already, that you foxes are family to us.  but... you have always been like a son to me.  and you always will, even if not by blood.”

kevin is looking at his feet, but eventually he meets her gaze.  “you’re the closest thing i’ve ever had to a mother.”  he squeezes her hand, and, “do you want to do the dance with me?”  he doesn’t know how he hadn’t thought of it before.

abby’s a little teary, but nods.

dan rests her head on wymack’s shoulder.  “he’s done good.”

wymack nods.  he doesn’t respond, because he’s got… something… stuck in his throat.  not emotions, definitely not emotions.

kevin smears cake all over dalton’s lips when they cut the cake, and in return he presses a messy kiss to his cheek.  it’s sickenly sweet.  the whole thing is, especially compared to the kevin day that some people know, and the one they see on television.

i can’t think of other things i may have missed, but please please let me know if there is anything else you guys want more insight on, or prompts regarding these!

oh yeah, kevin throws one of the bridesmaids little bouquets as a joke.

and carmen catches it.

[littlewalken]

TZN Exclusive Interview: Andy Robinson

On Garak, "Star Trek", "Dirty Harry" & Sci-Fi Idealism

TrekZone Network sat down with Andrew Robinson, who played the Cardassian Garak in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine", in Hamburg prior to the "Evening with Andrew Robinson", organized by FKM Events. We talked about Garak's past and future, Robinson's current projects and the idealism of science fiction fans.

TrekZone Network: Is this the first time you are in Hamburg?

Andrew Robinson: No, I was here 12 years ago for a convention with another organizer. So this is my first time back in 12 years, I believe.

Andy Robinson at the FKM Evening in Hamburg

TZN: Long time.

Robinson: It has been a long time. And as they say, a lot of water under the bridge...

TZN: You have been to Germany in the meantime?

Robinson: Yeah, I've been here several times. For one reason or another and in several different places. I have come here for a whole bunch of reasons. Even just as a tourist. But I have never made a film here or anything.

TZN: Your first stint as Garak was in the third episode of "Deep Space Nine". When you first got that role, did you anticipate or did you know that it was going to be a recurring role?

Robinson: No, not at all. Originally, the role of Odo, that Rene Auberjonois played, came down to three of us. Myself, another actor and obviously Rene. Then Rene got the role. Then they asked me to come in a few weeks later to read for this other role, which I thought was just going to be one episode. But it turned out that they were looking for a way to get the character of Doctor Bashir more involved with the show and so they, they were testing a storyline for Doctor Bashir and obviously the storyline was: he meets this older Cardassian, presumably tailor. Is he a spy? Who is he? This very mysterious person, the last Cardassian left on the station.

They wanted to see if there was any chemistry between Siddig and myself as actors. And of course we hit it off immediately. We had a great time with each other. And so it was based on that when they saw that episode, I think it was "Past Prologue", and they saw that we were working well together then they decided to add more episodes of Garak. Which I am eternally grateful for.

TZN: Do you regret that you were not cast as Odo?

Robinson: No, no, no, no. Not at all. As an actor, and an actor of a certain age, after a while you become very philosophical about these things. And genuinely so. Whoever gets the role, that was their role, you cannot feel remorse or try to second-guess or be bitter. And it always is the right actor as far as I am concerned and certainly with Rene it was the right actor. He was wonderful as Odo.

TZN: The part as Garak turned out to be rather substantial as well, of course.

Robinson: O, Garak was one of the best characters, I mean this, he was one of the most enjoyable, fully satisfying characters I have ever played in my life. And the fact that it is the only time in my life, too, as an actor, that I was able to develop a character over a seven-year period, and not be overused. By that I mean often if you are a regular on a series, they run out of things for a character to say and to do, and so the character just ends up repeating himself/herself, and the actions and the plotlines and after a while it becomes what they call the law of diminishing returns. The character becomes reduced. With Garak, because I was not a regular character, I appeared occasionally, I think I was in 39 episodes, and when I appeared, it was for a reason. Almost always it was for a reason, There are a few episodes when I wondered what I was doing there... But that always happens and at least they paid me, so that was fine.

TZN: Is there anything you would have liked to do as Garak on screen? Or any aspect of his character, his personality, that you would have liked to develop?

Robinson as Cardassian Elim Garak

Robinson: They did start this love story. But then they could not find the right actress. And so they had this one actress playing Ziyal and they did not like her, so they had another actress playing Ziyal who looked like my granddaughter, so that made me feel a little perverse. Then they just decided to forget about it. But it would have been wonderful to have had a bittersweet love story, someone who breaks Garak's heart, who tries to unlock the mystery romantically and cannot do it.

It is one of the reasons I wrote the book, to explore that part of Garak, Garak's heart. Because as an actor, you fall in love, well you do not always fall in love with your characters but the ones that you do fall in love with, it is a very deep relationship that you have with the character, and the character does take on a life on its own. Because as an actor, that is what you try to do. You try to transform yourself into this character's life. Obviously, I am not Garak, I am not Hamlet, but you find those places within yourself that can make that transformation.

I was not a "Star Trek" fan when they hired me. I had no idea what the "Star Trek" universe was, who Cardassians were, who Klingons, Romulans, I had no idea about any of that.

TZN: You had never seen anything, never heard about it?

Robinson: I had heard about it but never saw a thing. And a Cardassian? I had no idea what that was.

TZN: Then the makeup was applied...

Robinson: Yeah, right. But they did show me the episode, in "Next Generation", I think David Warner was the first Cardassian or was Marc Alaimo the first?

TZN: Marc Alaimo.

Robinson: Yeah, but it was that two-parter where David Warner's Cardassian character is torturing Picard and I thought, well, that is a really interesting-looking guy. That was the first episodes that peaked my interest. I thought, they deal with substantial things. And the acting was wonderful. Of course, David Warner has always been one of my favorite actors.

So I started writing a diary. As if Garak had a diary and I would write things, and I would make up things about him. And it is what you do, it is what an actor does sometimes for any character. You try to create a story, a life for this character. And when the series was over, I realized there were still things I would have loved to say about Garak and that is why I wrote the book "A Stitch in Time".

TZN: Did you start with the diary when you recognized that Garak would not be a one- or two-episode thing but a recurring role?

Robinson: Yeah, exactly, I think I started in the second year. I also started it when I started being invited to conventions and I realized, after two or three conventions, there were four or five questions people who would always ask me. How long does it take, your makeup... But I thought, would it not be interesting if I if at the conventions did something different. And so what I would do is that I would get up and I would read excerpts from these diaries. It became enormously popular, and that in a sense spawned a lot of things, then as actors we all started saying, well, maybe there is something that we can do rather than just get up and talk about our makeup and so forth. And that unleashed a whole bunch of stuff. Even Siddig and I wrote a play together that we did at several conventions and it was really a rather challenging play, dealing with string theory...

TZN: What was it about? I read just before this interview that you had this play...

Andy Robinson in Hamburg in June 2008 (Photo credit: Klaus Wittmack)

Robinson: Well, basically Garak and Bashir meet up in this place and it is like, nobody knows, but it looks like a convention with "Star Trek" fans there. And so they had to conduct this very tricky business in front of these people sitting at tables and sitting in chairs watching them. It was very, very, very postmodern. (laughs)

And there was a time when we were working on the play in front of an audience, too. Towards the end, when we finally got it written and got it right, that was when it was at its best but while we were experimenting with it, I think a lot of people fell asleep. (laughs)

Getting back to those diaries, [Michael Scott] co-wrote a book with Armin Shimerman ["The Merchant Prince"] and he said to me, "You should turn this into a book!" and that was when I did. And it was actually the first "Star Trek" book that was written without what they call a ghostwriter.

TZN: Are you thinking of writing another novel about Garak?

Robinson: No. I actually have said everything I could possibly say about Garak. I really have. Plus, if I did, I would then because of the corporate nature of Pocket Books, the Simon and Schuster division that does the "Star Trek" books, I would then have to follow all these other books that have been written about Garak and that does not interest me at all. Because the story I came up with was actually, oddly enough close my story, especially when Garak was a young man.

TZN: You did write another short story though, right? Set after the book.

Robinson: Right.

TZN: That was the last thing we have heard from Garak. In that story, he is not in a very positive state of mind and not in a good place.

Robinson: No.

TZN: So if we could jump forward in time, to a time and place after that, where would we find Garak?

Robinson: Dead. Honestly, because when I wrote that novella, first I was interested in putting - because I live part of the year in Paris -

I was interested in having Garak in Paris and see what that was like. Paris is like a museum now, and I thought that they would have really preserved it in 400 years and it would have become the museum of the world. But when I got Garak to Paris, it became very depressing. That is why I think he was not in a great state. I realized that if I had have written much more about Garak, he probably would have had to die. I do not want to go into why because it is all political and you are not here about politics. (laughs)

TZN: When did the producers tell you about who Garak's parents were?

Robinson: The big reveal was of course with Enabran Tain, who was the head of the Obsidian Order. I know that the mother appeared at one point when they were on Cardassia in that last series of episodes that I was in and that they ended up at Garak's mother's house, hiding. But the story of Garak and his parents really is what I myself put together, in terms of the relationships.

TZN: Did you have a hunch though that the storyline could develop into the direction of Enabran Tain being revealed as Garak's father?

Robinson: O, no! It was a big surprise to me. It was great!

TZN: Just like for the viewers.

Robinson: O, yeah, absolutely! But that is how I felt every time I would get a new script from the writers because the writers loved writing for Garak, that was the pleasure. It was evident that they liked writing for Garak because of the language, the dialogue that they would give him which was so delicious and so much fun and very ironic. One of the things you certainly know is that in America irony is not at the top of our list. As a people we do not really appreciate ironic humor. I think that one of the things that made Garak popular is the fact that he did have a sense of irony. That to everything he said there was a twist and there was always a subtext. And indeed probably he was lying but enjoying it and enjoying the fact that he was lying and seeing how far he could get away with it and who was gullible and who was smart.

Andy Robinson in Hamburg in June 2008 (Photo credit: Klaus Wittmack)

TZN: There was this one episode with the implant, "The Wire". That embodies everything you just said.

Robinson: Yeah, and that is by far my favorite episode.

TZN: We asked our readers to hand in some questions for you beforehand. One of them is: how long did it take to apply the makeup?

Robinson: At the beginning, it took about four hours, I would say. And then they got it down to about two hours. Towards the end they got more dexterous, thank God, because sitting in the chair for four hours meant that I would have to come in long before dawn and it was just excruciating, it was horrible. Even two hours was bad enough. It is the only thing about Garak that I do not miss at all.

TZN: Did the makeup inhibit you in the way you could express yourself?

Robinson: Well, that is the great, mysterious thing about working with a mask like that. For one thing the technology is very good, there were I think seven prosthetic pieces and they were all very flexible, very pliable and so you put it on and you think, my God, it is like this corpus, you're encased in it. But then you were fine, you could move. You were not, you were not limited the way Rene was limited with Odo because he could not eat, he lost a lot of weight. That is something I should have done!

But he had to take his lunch through a straw and so he could not move much at all because it was a mess. If he marled just a little bit, then he would have to sit in a chair and have to go through a whole process to get it back to that smoothness. That obviously was not my problem. My problem was the claustrophobia that I have, which I experienced actually last night. I went to a bar in Paris with some friends to watch the French lose to the Dutch. (laughter) Really lose. And deservedly so, I mean it. The French should get rid of that coach of theirs because he is awful.

I was at the bar and everybody was crowding in around me, I had to leave at the interval, go home and watch it on my own television. That was the thing about the Garak makeup. That was one thing but then this heavy wig that they put on top of me and then, because they wanted Cardassians to look big, they made the costumes out of the material that you make furniture pads, furniture textiles, and so all the costumes were very heavy and once you zipped them up it was like you were in a sauna, literally.

Actually that is where I lost a little weight, a lot of water weight anyway. When you get under the lights, underneath the makeup and the wig and the costume, there were rivers of sweat, I was soaked underneath. Not very glamorous (laughter) and I certainly did not smell like a flower.

TZN: I have got another reader question here, that touches a different subject. Did you know that there is speculation about Garak's sexuality?

Robinson: Oh, yeah. I started it.

TZN: Really? Then this might be interesting to this reader. He calls himself your gay fan Dominion and he asks a lot of questions like: Why haven't we seen a gay character in "Star Trek"? Have gays become extinct in the 24th century? Do you think there will ever be a gay character in "Star Trek"? Do gays not belong in "Star Trek's" future?

Robinson: O, yeah. There will be gay characters. Certainly now there will be, for one thing, America is still very puritan, we are very squeamish when it comes to sexuality. I remember when I very first played Garak, I played him gay! I thought this would be great! He sees this young man, this young, very attractive doctor on the station, he is lonely, he is the only Cardassian there, this doctor is curious about him, and if you remember, this was a great moment because Sid totally went with it! When he comes up and he puts his hand on his shoulder, Sid did this great thing, it was this sort of an electrical charge that went through him and so I played him totally gay in that episode.

Garak's First Scene

Of course the producers did not actually tell me not to play him gay but then they started writing him a little more macho and more like a Cardassian. But I said, "Listen, one of the great things about Garak is that he is not Gul Dukat, he is not one of those macho, militaristic guys, he is your finesse Cardassian." So we struck a compromise but I was always very clear. I did not get into it in the book. Quite frankly, I was going to go in that direction. I had written a whole thing about Garak's sexuality because I felt that Garak was sort of - talk about bisexual, I think that he was multisexual, essentially that anything that moves is fair game for Garak. He has a voracious sexual appetite.

But as I say, especially on American television you have the odd gay character now but it is all going to be just cosmetic. In terms of commercial television ever getting into real sexuality, that is not going to happen. "Star Trek" is very conservative, there is a conservatism about "Star Trek" that I think "Deep Space Nine" in a sense went against. It defied that conservatism. "Deep Space Nine" was not as black and white as the other "Star Trek" shows. It was different. It was not people in a rocket ship doing one-night stands on a planet to planet to planet, coming in and battling the evil aliens or some kind of monster or whatever. It was a community unto itself on the edge and this is what I loved about the show, every one of the characters on "Deep Space Nine" had a moral dimension about them. Each one of them was in touch with their dark side.

That episode "In the Pale Moonlight", when Garak introduces Captain Sisko to the concept of realpolitik, that okay, if you want to get rid of the Romulan threat, what you do is, you kill them. And you kill them in a not very nice way. So you just eliminate your enemy. Of course that is not fair play, that is not the American way. I was surprised, I loved that episode because it was very mature in that sense. It said you have to grow up, this is the world you live in now. And of course the world we live in now is very morally ambiguous to say the least.

I rambled, I am sorry. We went away from sexuality but I think there has to be more gay characters. I do not know what this movie is going to be like but this movie I believe is about Starfleet academy?

A gay Sulu? According to Robinson an interesting idea

TZN:It is a prequel. It is not entirely set on Starfleet academy but shows the young crew in their early years getting together.

Robinson: Right. For instance, I wonder, George Takei, who has come out, who is an openly gay man, and actually now I think he and his partner are going to get married since the California Supreme Court has now finally legalized gay marriage. But I wonder where they are going to go with his character in this prequel. It would be very interesting.

TZN: You did some work behind the camera as well. You directed I believe an episode of DS9. How was that for you, the experience to suddenly tell your colleagues what to do?

Robinson: Yes, right. It is funny, it was very different getting on the other side of the camera and not just working with the other actors, I mean they were fine. But it was the first episode I really had a lot of trouble with because it was my first episode ever directing something. And of course when you are directing "Star Trek" you have the added dimension, the added complication of the special effects. Although they have great special-effects people and you just get out of the way and let them do their work but still you are always trying to visualize what the picture looks like as a director.

But I must say that directing the "Star Trek" episodes really in a sense changed my life because it was the first time I started directing. From there I went on to a lot more directing, mainly theater because I have always been more of a theater person than a film person. And that really gave me the courage to continue in that direction as a director which I have and which has actually led to my current position. I am a fulltime teacher now. I run an acting program at the University of Southern California. And that all came out of directing.

TZN: You have been an actor, you have been a director, you have written a book, actually is there anything artistic you would still like to do? Singing maybe?

Robinson: No, I do not think so. Actually, it is true, it is interesting you should say that. I would actually love to do a musical. I really would love to do a musical, you are absolutely right. I would love to do one of these great musicals. But I still go back and forth. I am going to do a play this summer in San Francisco as an actor. I will continue to direct. I do not know how much longer I will run this program because I created this actor-training program and that was exciting.

I am going to be actually talking about that today. I work with young actors in terms of how does one train to be an actor, what is it that one does? I am being able to put some of my own ideas and thoughts about what actor training is into a coherent program that goes over three years, that trains professional actors. That has been very exciting. That is part of who I am but I think the territory of being an actor is that you do reinvent yourself from time to time. You have to reinvent yourself from time to time. Not to change, you really have to transform because that is the business.

TZN: In your career, you played many roles, and you guest starred in "Bonanza".

Robinson: No, you could not possibly remember! That is incredible. No, o my God, how could you... That is amazing. Yeah, that was the very last season of "Bonanza", too. And I think it was my first work in television.

TZN: How was it to play with such very famous actors like Lorne Greene?

Robinson: Well, see, it was very nice. They are household names but I had just come off from doing my first film with Clint Eastwood. So playing with Clint Eastwood was like playing with God. And then everyone else, they are wonderful actors, but still, my first film experience was the "Dirty Harry" film and that was extraordinary. I must say I enjoyed doing "Bonanza" because it was a show that had gone on forever. I helped kill it because that was the last season... Having the experience of doing "Dirty Harry" which was a feature film, that interested me a lot more than doing television.

Andy Robinson in "Dirty Harry"

TZN: You did very many TV series. The list of your guest appearances just goes on and on and on.

Robinson: Yeah, I did and most of the time I was the villain. That was courtesy of "Dirty Harry". After I did "Dirty Harry" nobody could see me as playing anything but the villain.

TZN: Is there any of these series that you would have liked to be on as one of the lead actors or main cast?

Robinson: In America, there is a series that just ended. I do not know if it is here, I do not know if it has come here. They did five years of it. HBO has these. I do not know if you know Home Box Office? It is a cable network in America. They had these series, "The Sopranos" was their flagship, their famous series. But they had another series called "The Wire". Have you ever heard of "The Wire"?

TZN: The title sounds familiar but that is all.

Robinson: It is interesting because you had me talking about that episode of "Deep Space Nine" that is called "The Wire", that was my favorite episode. Well, this series, "The Wire", is probably the best television series I have ever seen in my life. It was a brilliant series that took the city of Baltimore and it investigated the city of Baltimore in a dramatic series format on every level from drug dealers to police to schools to unions and it was an amazing series. I do not know how it got done because in America we are not big on socially-relevant thematic. We want our entertainment to be pure and uncluttered with things we have to think about. But this was a brilliant series and I, every time I watched the series, thought, o my God, I would love to be on that series! That was one of the few things I ever watched where I felt that way. I hope it comes here, I am sure it will come here. It has to. If it does, you must watch it because it is extraordinary.

TZN: I am afraid we have to wrap up already. One last question: Is there any question that you would really particularly badly like to answer but have never been asked?

Robinson: Wow. I have to say I think I have been asked every question that I can possibly imagine. Short of questions that I would prefer not to get into. No, I do not think that there is. I do not think that there is at all. I find that "Star Trek" fans for the most part, especially in Europe, are relatively sophisticated. I think that there is an idealism about following a series like "Star Trek", especially in this world.

Can we imagine ourselves projected into 24th or 25th century or wherever and still functioning. Obviously, it is weird. As you said earlier, here we are, four- five hundred years later and where have all the gay people gone? Where have all the people of color gone in a sense. That has always been something. What has indeed happened to poverty and what has happened to racism and fundamentalism and terrorism and all the things that bedevil us. I really do hope that science fiction continues to evolve and the way certain writers have challenged themselves to think about what happens to all of these social issues in the future and how we project solutions for them or perhaps not solutions but perhaps just accommodations, how do we learn to live with each other because in the end I think that that is what the "Star Trek" series perhaps offers its best insights about. Then I think that it is also great dramatic material which is the great question how do we learn how to live with each other without violence and without predatory behavior.

TZN: That ends this interview on a very thoughtful note, I think. Thank you very much.

Robinson: It was a pleasure, thank you, it has been great.

[dweemeister]

Oklahoma! (1955)

Composer Richard Rodgers was in search of a new songwriting partner in the early 1940s. His previous partner, the lyricist Lorenz Hart, was devolving into an alcoholism that would soon claim his life. Wanting to transform Lynn Riggs’ rustic play Green Grow the Lilacs into a musical, Rodgers would find a new lyricist in Oscar Hammerstein II, who had not been involved in any Broadway successes for some time. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s 1943 adaptation of Rigg’s play was Oklahoma! and – despite widespread predictions that Broadway audiences would only flock to modern, urbane works – it became the longest-running Broadway musical for another dozen or so years. It began one of the most fruitful, important, and accomplished musical theater partnerships in the medium’s history.

Interest in a cinematic treatment from Hollywood’s major studios for the first Rodgers and Hammerstein musical came almost immediately after the initial reviews for Oklahoma!, but the rights went not to a movie studio, but a film equipment start-up known as the Magna Theatre Corporation. Magna’s owners intended Oklahoma! as a test for the Todd-AO widescreen process (a rival to Cinerama), but more on that and the film’s unique distribution history – which involves RKO and 20th Century Fox – later. Most importantly, the lack of studio executives to appease meant that Rodgers and Hammerstein could have full control over the film’s structure and musical/narrative changes for this adaptation. Directed by Fred Zinnemann (1952’s High Noon, 1953’s From Here to Eternity) – an unorthodox choice, given his expertise for morally complex dramas and no musical experience – 1955’s Oklahoma! is a harbinger for the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical films to come, and an inextricable part of the duo’s legacy.

Somewhere in the Oklahoman countryside, amid corn as high as an elephant’s eye, is the clean-cut cowboy Curly McLain (Gordon MacRae). Curly is en route to the farmstead of his crush, Laurey Williams (Shirley Jones in her cinematic debut), and Laurey’s aunt, Aunt Eller (Charlotte Greenwood). There, Curly invites Laurey to the box social scheduled for later that evening. Annoyed that it took him this long to ask her out, Laurey decides instead to go the box social with the Williams’ antisocial and intimidating farmhand, Jud Fry (Rod Steiger). Elsewhere at the train station, another cowboy, Will Parker (Gene Nelson) might be singing about how much he was entranced by Kansas City, but he is searching for his sweetheart, Ado Annie (Gloria Grahame) – herself entranced by traveling salesman Ali Hakim (Eddie Albert in brownface).

No members of the original Broadway cast reprised their roles for this film, which also stars Barbara Lawrence and character actors James Whitmore, Jay C. Flippen, and Roy Barcroft.

As Curly, MacRae is like a Broadway stage version of the characters Gene Autry or Roy Rogers might have played in another decade. MacRae, who started his career as a Broadway and radio singer, had just run down the end of his contract with Warner Bros. (signed in 1947) when he appeared in Oklahoma!. At Warners, he starred in a number of musicals including Look for the Silver Lining (1949) and opposite Doris Day in On Moonlight Bay (1951), but he had only starred in a film adaptation of stage musical once before. MacRae, despite a long hiatus from the Broadway stage, is a natural here: charming and exuding a natural chemistry with co-star Shirley Jones. This exterior, however, is not without malice – as seen in the scene where Curly tries to influence Jud to commit self-harm. Cut from the same baritone cloth like contemporary Howard Keel (Frank Butler in 1950’s Annie Get Your Gun, Adam Pontipee in 1954’s Seven Brides for Seven Brothers), MacRae never achieved the popularity that other stage-to-screen musical stars of the ‘30s and ‘40s did (and, of course, Julie Andrews much later on).

The film’s surprise package for audiences in 1955 was in Shirley Jones. Jones, rather than subjecting herself to a vetting process by a director, casting director, or studio executives, was hand-picked by Rodgers and Hammerstein. Stunned by her 1953 audition for the premiere of South Pacific but wanting more experience for the then-nineteen-year-old, the songwriting duo kept Jones in mind for future productions and signed her on a contract (Jones was the first and only singer to be contracted to Rodgers and Hammerstein). With a few years of Broadway productions under her belt, Jones still came to Oklahoma! lacking an understanding on how to tailor sharper emotions to a film camera. With Fred Zinnemann’s assistance, she navigates Laurey’s light romantic comedy scenes and tumultuous friendship (if one can call it that) with Jud maturely – one could scarcely believe this is her cinematic debut. For Laurey, she accentuates the character’s naïveté, especially in respect to how she acts around men and romantic idealizations, without feeling grating or overacting (a common problem when approaching characters without much life experience) the part. Jones’ excellence in Oklahoma! would land her the lead in Carousel (1956), with other Hollywood hits in Elmer Gantry (1960) and The Music Man (1962) to follow.

As their artistic collaboration progressed, Rodgers and Hammerstein did not shy away from asking heavier questions in their musicals. Their first two projects, Oklahoma! and the musical film State Fair (1945) are relatively airy, flighty compared to their successors – the darkness of morality in Carousel, the racist beliefs of the lead character in South Pacific. Foreshadowing that later drama in successive musicals is the misanthropic (not just misogynistic) character of Jud Fry. Played by Rod Steiger, Jud is a villain without any redeeming qualities in the original musical. Steiger’s Jud remains a reprehensible character, but Steiger – as have most other actors who have played Jud in on stage in the decades since – positions Jud as more of a loner whose social ineptitude results in an unchecked covetousness over Laurey. To some reading that last sentence, that distinction between portrayals of Jud may not make any meaningful difference in one’s negative opinions about the character and his actions. Yet, Steiger’s portrayal of Jud – as sloppy, maladjusted, knowing little else about life other than farm work – is nevertheless a refinement on the character Rodgers and Hammerstein originally did not give much thought to.

Zinnemann’s dramatic tendencies needed moderation, as they sometimes threated to overshadow the musical features. Although, to Zinnemann’s credit, as a dramatist first, he imbues Oklahoma! with a dramatic fervor that came to define all Rodgers and Hammerstein musical film versions after it – something that one never received from the somewhat assembly line-like musical from Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) and Fox. Oklahoma! was Zinnemann’s first widescreen film, as well as the first time he shot in color.  The emotional intensity of his earlier movies would be antithetical to the sweeping rural cinematography that he and cinematographer Robert Surtees (1959’s Ben-Hur, 1971’s The Last Picture Show) and Floyd Crosby (1931’s Tabu: A Story of the South Seas, 1960’s House of Usher) needed to capture. Zinnemann, Surtees, and Crosby offer sumptuous images of the Arizona countryside (Oklahoma’s oil wells proved too plentiful and distracting for the production) and the inviting blue sky that overhangs the cornfields sweeping across the land. With widescreen cameras rather new around 1955, the cameras wisely stay further back in interior scenes (shot at MGM’s studios in Culver City, California) with numerous people, directing our gaze centrally with brilliant blocking from the actors. The staging nevertheless feels like a stagebound musical during some interior scenes, like a lower-budget MGM musical with a trivial plot.

The widescreen cinematography, of course, was purposefully a showcase – see the shots of Gene Nelson spinning his rope directly towards the camera in “Kansas City” and the shot of an overly-excited auctioneer hammering their gavel and having the gavel nearly break the camera in another. Magna Theatre Corporation intended Oklahoma! to be a demonstration of their new Todd-AO 70mm process, in hopes of competing against Cinerama (which used three synchronized projectors at once on a curved screen). Because some theaters could not support the widescreen prints, two different versions of Oklahoma! exist: one in Todd-AO and another in CinemaScope (the latter a 20th Century Fox invention). This review is based on the Todd-AO print – which I recommend over the CinemaScope print – that currently is streaming on Disney+. Another note about the Todd-AO print: the first two films shot on Todd-AO 70mm – Oklahoma! and Around the World in Eighty Days (1956) – were shot in 30 frames per second (FPS) rather than the standard twenty-four. Thus, the Todd-AO print will appear slightly smoother in motion than most all other films, including modern ones.

Why 30 FPS for film screenings in 1955? Higher frames per second result in less noticeable light flickering and more dynamic colors (these effects for movies shot at higher FPS rates only apply to films shot on film stock, not digital). However, film projectors with a Todd-AO print would run hotter, requiring simultaneous cooling of the film while it ran through the projector. All subsequent films shot on Todd-AO reverted to the standard twenty-four frames per second.

Diehard musical fans often consider Fred Zinnemann’s Oklahoma! the most faithful – narratively, musically – of all the Rodgers and Hammerstein film adaptations. Deleted from Oklahoma! are two songs: Ali Hakim’s chauvinistic “It’s a Scandal, It’s a Outrage! [sic]” and Jud’s brooding “Lonely Room”. The former has among the least musical interest in the entire musical, but “Lonely Room” might have been a helpful source of characterization of Steiger’s Jud (the limited vocal range required for the song would suit Steiger). Otherwise, some of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s most iconic songs are present, starting with “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’”. Sung solo by MacRae on horseback (as opposed to being sung completely offstage in the original stage version), it serves the same purpose as the title song from The Sound of Music (1965) does. It establishes Curly’s character (mostly), and establishing the vast environs where the film takes place. The atmospheric opening shot of the camera moving through the corn and opening up into a grassy landscape might seem corny inane, but what a visual message it sends for one of the early widescreen American movies. Curly’s solo leads into “The Surrey with the Fringe on Top”, as he attempts to woo Laurey into accompanying him to the box social. A brief visual aside to allow viewers who do not know what a surrey looks like is a touch that a stage musical cannot provide, but this song – along with my choice of the best song in the musical, “People Will Say We’re in Love” (which gives MacRae and Jones a lovely duet with the production’s most romantic melodies) – exemplifies the rapport between MacRae and Jones and their two characters.

There remains charm aplenty across the musical score. Gene Nelson’s rendition of “Kansas City” is by no means essential to the plot of Oklahoma!, but it is a diverting number with some fancy footwork by not only Nelson (essentially the film’s comic relief and using a perfect, non-jarring voice for such a role), but Charlotte Greenwood and the scene’s extras as well. And then, arriving late, there is also the lively title song, delivered by MacRae with a similar energy as he employs for “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’”. “Oklahoma” became the official state song for Oklahoma in 1953, replacing a lesser-known song, “Oklahoma – A Toast”. Credit must also go to the extras and chorus for spearheading the song for its second half, as well as Robert Russell Bennett for his gorgeous (and definitive) vocal arrangement.

As its theatrical release drew near, details of the distribution of Oklahoma! would depend on which print a theater received. If a movie theater screened the Todd-AO 70mm print, Magna handled the distribution; if they showed the anamorphic CinemaScope 35mm print, the responsibility fell to RKO. RKO – the studio that gave audiences King Kong (1933), Citizen Kane (1942), and distributed all Disney movies until Rob Roy: The Highland Rogue (1954) – had fallen into turmoil by the mid-1950s and, by decade’s end, would be the first of the Big Five Hollywood studios to cease operations. The studio’s tyrannical owner, the eccentric Howard Hughes, disemboweled the studio from the inside out, and is a story for another day. Due to Hughes’ mismanagement, RKO withdrew from distribution and, in their place, came 20th Century Fox. Todd-AO and Fox shared theatrical and home media rights until Fox’s purchase by Disney in 2019; Todd-AO and Disney retain the split-ownership arrangement over Oklahoma!.

Though Oklahoma! is not usually part of most cinephiles’ and musical nerds’ pantheons of great Hollywood musicals, its contributions to the subsequent Rodgers and Hammerstein film adaptations are unmistakable. The duo’s closeness to numerous parts of the film’s production, the stunning widescreen cinematography, and the casting of actors with proven musical ability are hallmarks to be replicated, even in lesser adaptation such as South Pacific (1958) and Flower Drum Song (1961). For Rodgers and Hammerstein, they were so pleased from working with Fox that they continued to provide the rights to their musicals for all of their works’ adaptations with the exception of Flower Drum Song (which went to Universal). Like their work on Broadway, their best music and best movie adaptations of their musicals was yet to arrive. Oklahoma! marks a solid, healthy start to that run of adaptations, a hallmark of mid-century American moviemaking.

My rating: 7.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[unicorndads]

Garrett's giddy excitement was contagious.

Andrew grinned as he took out the key his friend had lent him and let them into the golf course. It was after hours, after dark, so it looked very different from when he would play there. The large, empty grounds might have even been spooky, if Garrett wasn't there.

Andrew felt a sense of pride as the two men walked through the empty turf. He had invited his best friend to Illinois, after he had been so kindly invited to Washington. He wanted his family to accept Garrett into their lives, much like what Garrett's family had done for him. The trip was going surprisingly well, and it got even better when he learned of an upcoming meteor shower. He knew he had to surprise Garrett with it.

The larger man stayed next to him, but his head was twisting and turning as he took in their surroundings. He seemed to literally be buzzing with excitement, itching to explore. And Andrew would have let him, if they weren't on a time crunch.

He led Garrett to the highest hill and spread out a large blanket he had brought. Garrett's giggles filled the air as they settled onto their backs, and Andrew couldn't contain his own either.

"This is amazing," Garrett sighed out, looking up at the night sky. It was so clear without the harsh LA lights, so vast. Andrew couldn't look too long without questioning his place in the world, so he decided to just focus on Garrett until the shower started. "Thank you so much for bringing me here, Andrew."

"Of course, man. It's something you would have done for me."

Andrew saw a wide grin form on Garrett's face as his eyes roamed sky. "This is beautiful."

"Ya," Andrew agreed quietly. You are. Andrew flushed, ashamed at the thought that had been creeping into his mind much more often lately. In that moment, he was glad of the distance between them.

But of course, Garrett decided to scoot closer. Andrew wondered if it was subconscious, but realized it was intentional when Garrett raised an arm. "Whoa, that star is so bright!"

Andrew looked up. "Which one?"

"That one!"

"I don't-"

"Here." Garrett moved his head even closer, so that their cheeks were touching. He lowered his arm to grab Andrew's hand, raising both back up and pointing. "You see?"

Andrew didn't see. He was too focused on Garrett touch, too aware of the fact that his heart was now pulsing in his throat. "Y-yes," he lied, hoping to end this contact. But when Garrett pulled away, he missed it dearly.

A silence fell over the two men, and Andrew wondered if it felt as awkward to Garrett as it did to him. Andrew, afraid to look over, continued to stare at the speckle of stars above them. They were so much more significant than him... "Sorry. The shower should start soon," he finally murmured, having to rip his gaze away.

"I don't mind," Garrett said. Andrew tried to hear if there was a change in his voice; is it more strained than usual? "The meteors are nice, but-" Garrett turned his head so that they were now face to face. "-being here with you is what matters most."

Andrew's breathing hitched as he stared into his best friend's eyes. They were soft, searching. He impulsively dragged his eyes down to Garrett's lips, yearning to close the distance between them.

His hand began to move without permission, grazing Garrett's cheek. His gaze flickered back to his eyes, afraid of his reaction, and he saw shock in them. No anger, no rejection. And no turning back now as he brought their mouths together.

The kiss was gentle; he let out a light sigh of relief as he felt Garrett kissing him back. Any tension in his body melted away as more pressure was applied, as tentative tongues met. He felt himself begin to roll onto his back; he wasn't sure who was responsible for it, but either way, Garrett was quick to follow.

The kiss was broken moments later to breathe, and in that moment, Andrew reached up to run his fingers through Garrett's hair. He studied his friend's beautiful face, and felt his comfortable weight on top of him. He didn't know what would make this moment better.

But then he saw something out of the corner of his eye - a flash of light moving across the sky. He gasped and let go of Garrett. "Look!"

Garrett lifted off of him, rolling back onto the blanket. He let out an excited laugh as more meteors began to shoot across the darkness.

They were both mesmerized by the meteor shower, having never seen one in person before. But Andrew was able to look away long enough to slide closer to the man next to him. Without looking away, Garrett lifted an arm so he could snuggle closer.

Andrew rested his head on Garrett's shoulder and placed a hand on Garrett's broad chest, letting himself be fully taken by all of the beautiful sensations around him: the meteors flashing across the sky, Garrett's heart beating under his hand, the rise and fall of their chests, the slow strokes along his back, and the whispered "I love you."

[just-another-ficwriter]

Seconds To Midnight

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 2400ish

Warnings: Underage drinking, a lil heart break, pregnancy 

Summary: Y/N and Sweet Pea share a lifetime of New Year’s together, some better than others.

Notes: Filling my ‘Midnight Kiss’ square on my @riverdalebingo​ card! The next few days are gonna be a flurry of super late Christmas Eve/New Years posts as I attempt to catch up!

10...

They still can’t believe they’ve convinced their parents to let them stay up passed midnight. Not even when the five of them are crammed into a booth at the Wyrm arguing over a pack of cards and sharing bottles of soda way past their usual 10 year old bedtimes.

By the time the ball drops, Jug’s already asleep, the cheering from around the bar barely making him stir. Fangs and Toni decide to mock the adults around them, pouting at each other and making ‘kissy’ noises. Y/N laughs along with them, pretending to gag, but Sweet Pea doesn’t miss the way she blushes when she looks over at Gladys and FP once more.

A tint that deepens a dark red when he leans over and places a quick peck to her cheek.

“Happy New Year Y/N.” He whispers, thankful that the others are still too distracted to notice.

“Happy New Year Pea.”

9...

By the time they’re 13, they care a little less about their parents permission, opting to swap the warmth of the Wyrm’s crowds, for the back of Fang’s brothers truck, at the edge of the car park instead. The same way Jughead’s opted to switch them for Archie Andrews and Betty Cooper.

The huddle together for warmth, gazing up at the stars, and even though no one will admit it for a fear of being deemed ‘uncool’, everyone’s excited for the burst of fireworks about to come.

When the first explosion sounds off, Sweet Pea misses the look Toni gives him, her eyes switching fiercely between him and Y/N.

But she doesn’t give up.

“I dare the two of you to kiss.” She blurts out the challenge, and Sweet Pea hears Y/N suck in a breath beside him.

“What?” He chokes on the word, eyes casting from her down to his lap, not missing the way Y/N’s leg brushes against his, suddenly aware of how close they’d been sitting.

“It’s midnight.” His best friend shrugs, the streak of bright pink hair falling off her shoulder. He can still remember her Grandmother’s face the first time she’d seen it, Toni’s first act of outright defiance. “You have to kiss someone.”

“Then you kiss Fangs.” Sweet Pea’s hand gestures wildly between the two of them, both gagging in unison. 

“That would be like kissing my sister.” Fangs’ nose scrunches up with the statement, and Y/N can’t help but laugh.

“But-“

His fight is already lost, now three against one as the girl besides him sits up straighter, rolls her eyes and simply grabs his face. “Oh Pea, just shut up and kiss me!”

He’s too distracted by the warmth of her palm against his skin, feather light fingertips dancing across his cheek, to see her closing the gap between them. 

He sees fireworks even when he closes his eyes.

8...

At 15, Y/N’s forced to spend New Years at her grandparents. Their first one apart in 6 years and Sweet Pea feels her lack of presence more with every passing second.

He misses her when Toni talks about last years celebrations and sneaking on the Wrym’s roof, when she text him early so her words don’t get caught in a signal back log, when he sees Jug squeeze Betty’s hand.

He wishes she was there to share the beers Fangs has managed to steal for them and make fun of the way Archie follows Veronica around like a lost puppy, wondering how their two opposite friendship groups somehow became intertwined to ring in the new year. 

And when the count down ends, he watches as Toni kisses Ginger, turning to tell Y/N she owes him $5, before remembering she’s not there. His heart sinks a little a further as he struggles to understand the feeling swarming in his head.

He’s not interested in the fireworks that year.

7...

When they’re 17, everything just goes wrong.

They’re at their first official New Year’s Party, thrown by none other than Cheryl Blossom, as they desperately cling onto the last parts of their high school selves, months before they all leave the town behind and disappear to different colleges.

Some partying to celebrate the year that everything changes, others to forget what lays ahead.

They dance too much, they laugh too hard, they drink more than they should.

One minute she’s in front of Sweet Pea, the next she’s gone.

The panic sets in, once the ball drops, and he only catches a glimpse of her over Josie’s head once the singer starts pulling him towards her. Y/N laughs at something Reggie Mantle whispers in her ear, the sound piercing into Sweet Pea’s lungs.

He hadn’t planned on kissing her at midnight, yet now it’s he can think about.

But he’s too late. 

He’d never make it in time, not with Josie hanging onto his arms. Not with the way Reggie’s already leaning in to do the one thing he’s always been to afraid to do. 

He wants to look away, but he can’t, even when he’s sure his heart won’t take it. He watches as Reggie’s lips press firmly against hers, watches the way she kiss him back and does the one thing that would stop him screaming out over the crowd. 

He kisses Josie and pretends it her.

Her eyes blaze like fires when he finds them again, and Sweet Pea doesn’t see it back then but everything changed in that swift couple of seconds, a silent, wordless disagreement that tears them apart.

Distance grows between them, not just physically as she leaves to chase her dreams in New York City and he stays, ever attached to Riverdale.

His heart shatters at the thought of the next New Years Eve without her.

But thinks maybe its for the best.

6...

“Y/N will be there.”

Sweet Pea still declines the invite politely, but he can tell by the triumphant glint in Toni’s eyes that she knows she’s won.

There’s no way he’d turn down the opportunity of even a glance at his former best friend after three years. 

So he finds himself dressed to the nines, hiding away on the rooftop of Toni and Cheryl's penthouse apartment, because of course they have one of the best views in New York, trying to forget the image of her dressed in red. 

It doesn’t take her long to find him, and he doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s her creeping up behind him. He can feel her presence the minute she steps out, like it’s coded in his DNA. He hates it as much as he loves it.

“Hi.” She breathes out the greeting, tiptoeing across the unsteady ground between them. It’s the first words she uttered towards him since she left for college and the sound makes his heart sing. 

“Hi.” He parrots back, there's so much more he wants to say but that's all he can manage. Her eyes meet his, locked together, unaware of the countdown being called out below.

And then she laughs.

And he does too. 

Laughs over the stupidity of it all, laughs because its them, laughs until it hurts, until the fireworks explode around them surprising them both back to silence.

“I’ve missed you.” He feels her hand close over his, fingers squeezing his tight.

He feels like he can breathe for the first time in a long time. “I’ve missed you too.”

5...

This time its him that finds her on the roof, eerily similar to their moment two years prior. 

They’ve been trying for the last few years, piecing the remains of their broken friendship back together. But it’s not enough.

Not for him. 

Maybe not for her.

The thought rips through him, his chest exploding with pain, and need, he has to tell her. He can’t wait any longer. 

The idea alone burns its way into his lungs until he can’t breathe, until he can’t think straight.

“I love you.” The words slip out the same time the noise below them erupts into a chorus of the number ten. He can hear it all around him, from people in the building next door, from people down the street.

She just stares at him, eyes wide with a hint of something he doesn’t quite understand.

“You don’t have to say it back.” He panics, trips over his words and the way she looks at him. “I just want you to know.”

He’s whispering into the dark, but she can hear him, over the chanting, over the beating of her own heart drumming clear in her ears.

“I just love you.” He falls into a spiral, confessions pouring out as he plunges downwards like the countdown under their feet. “I always have, I probably always will.”

And as the ball drops, and the crowd underneath explodes in cheers, their friends, she’s suddenly pulled back into reality.

Her eyes soften at the sight before her, Sweet Pea’s bashful grin luminated by the glow of the fireworks in the distance, their light dancing off his skin.

And she does the first that comes to her mind, the only thing she’s wanted to do every New Year’s Eve since she met him.

She kisses him.

4...

At 25 they find themselves back on the roof. 

That roof.

Their roof.

A location so sentimental to their relationship. 

Relationship. 

The word feels so weird in Sweet Pea’s thoughts, the concept of her being his girlfriend still so foreign to him, still so unreal, even after three years.

He loves her. 

More than he’s loved anything ever before in his life, he’s sure of it. And he’s sure she loves him too, even if sometimes he doesn’t understand why, but lord knows she does.

Which is why he finds himself down on one knee, velvet ring box held tightly in his shaking hand, surrounded by candle light and rose petals that float in the wind. He can feel wet tears streaking lines down his cheeks that mirror her own as she nods out her answer, not trusting her own voice before she pounces at him. 

His back hits the floor the same time fireworks light up the skyline and his heart swells in bliss when she slips the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit.

“Did she say yes?” Fangs calls from across the roof, head peering around the door, Toni just behind.

“She said yes!” Sweet Pea sings back, a permanent grin on his face. 

It’s only seconds later the two dive on the couple still sprawled out on the floor, four sets of limbs, four sounds of laughter, embracing in celebration.

3...

The tell tale signs are there all night, he doesn’t understand how he didn’t see it sooner.

She professional switches out her vodka orange for plain juice, gags at her usual favourite fancy foods that Cheryl and Toni insist on serving every year, and has ran to the bathroom more than once in the last three hours.

But he doesn’t fit the puzzle pieces together.

Not even when she slots her hand in his, half guiding, half pulling him towards the roof and presents him a neatly wrapped gift once they’re surrounded by cold night air.

It’s only right she thinks, to tell him here, on the very roof top he confessed his love, where he asked her to be his wife only a year before. It has to be here he finds out this too.

He stares, confused down at the box held in his hands, feeling guilty that he has nothing to give her. She laughs at him, a sound that still sets his heart alight as she encourages him to open it quick.

The excitement takes over, racing to reveal its contents before the countdown sounding below hits 1, his fingers make light work of the paper.

When he lifts the lid of the box he’s sure he’s stopped breathing.

This can’t be real.

Two blue lines stare back at him, clear at the dead of midnight and he chokes out a sob.

“You’re?...” He can’t finish the sentence, can’t get his tongue to move and say the words. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears, nodding her head in confirmation.

He can’t help but drop to his knees, his hands gently cradling her barely there bump, his heart so full of love.

“I’m gonna be a Dad.”

2...

Of course they get married on New Year’s Eve.

It’s their day, no matter how much Toni and Fangs tease them about it. But their friends draw the line at a roof top wedding.

Sweet Pea can’t describe the day as anything other than a god damn dream.

He’s wanted this for so long it’s hard to believe it’s actually happening.

She looks a vision in white, too good to be true and he couldn’t ask for anything more.

As he twirls his now wife in his arms, their baby girl nested up against Toni’s chest just a few feet away, he’s so overwhelmed with love that he can’t help but cry.

It starts as a gentle shake from his chest, vibrating through his shoulders before the tears fall fast and he has to hide his face in her hair.

Tears pool in her own eyes as she pulls him closer, whispers how much she adores him into his neck, claims she’s the luckiest woman in the world.

He’s not afraid to admit this might be his favourite New Years Eve.

1...

At 30 there’s no lavish parties.

No roof top confessions, no pregnancy announcements, no engagements, no Wrym.

Just them and their closest friends sprawled out in their living room, discarded pizza boxes on the coffee table, their three year old asleep upstairs.

And when those around them start counting down, Sweet Pea cups her cheek, tilts her head towards his so he can see her eyes staring back.

“I love you.” He whispers, so honestly, so raw. He feels her smile into the kiss that comes next. He doesn’t care that his friends might see them, not like that shy ten year old hidden in a booth 20 years ago daring to plant a peck on his best friends cheek. No, he wants everyone to see how happy his is now, how far they’ve come. “Happy New Year Y/N.”

“Happy New Year Pea.”

Riverdale Bingo Holiday Masterlist

Forever Taglist: @p-marie-sp

Sweet Pea Taglist: @80sand90simagine @wildberryyyy @hopelesslylosttheway @be-gay-do-crime-cutie

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Photographer // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

So I made a one-shot based off of the picture down here!

Word count ~ 3.1k

Summary - y/n is a celebrity photographer, and Matthew's birthday is coming up. This calls for a birthday shoot.

Ever since I was in sixth grade, I dreamed of being a photographer. But back then, I was just taking candid pictures of my cat (Peanut Butter), and random flowers that my mom had graciously planted for me. I really never planned on taking nice, professional pictures of people.

But here I was.

I went to 'California College of Arts' in San Francisco for 4 years. After that, I had a bit of trouble getting myself out there. I had a decent following on my instagram. People liked the pictures of my dog, and the pictures of nature that I took on my many travels. But likes and follows don't get you money, at least not enough. So I switched my focus onto more interesting things.

Advertising yourself as a photographer wasn't an easy task. You had to be ruthless, and be willing to get rejected and not back down. So I did what any semi-sane person would do.

I messaged over 50 celebrities asking of they wanted to do a shoot with me. I sent them my prices, and what kinds of shoots I was willing to do. I didn't have much hope for it, but it was worth a try.

And that's where it began.

Out of all of the messages, Andrew Lincoln, AKA Rick from The Walking Dead messaged me back.

*Hello Miss y/l/n! I've actually seen quite a few of your nature shots and I have always wondered how your photos would turn out with people. I would love to be your Guinea Pig.*

He sent me days he was available and I did his shoot. After posting his pictures, my popularity shot from there.

That was a few years ago, I was now taking photos for multiple celebrities. I was ultimately known for my black and white shoots. I had, in fact, just gotten done with a shoot of A.J. Cook. She had requested *me* to take her pictures for an up and coming article that was being written about her. I, of course, gratefully said yes, being a huge fan of hers, along with the whole Criminal Minds cast.

I emailed her all of the pictures I had taken, edited and all, while simultaneously posting them on my instagram.

It was mere hours later before a notification popped up on my phone of an email that I could not believe. Theres no way that he was emailing me, right?

*You have an Email from Matthew Gray Gubler*

*Hi there! I saw your shoot on AJ's instagram and my birthday is coming up. My manager wants me to do a birthday shoot, and we both like your black and white style. I know it's not usually the kind of thing you, birthdays, do but I figured it was worth a shot, and I think you have some real talent. Let me know when you are free next. I am on a break so my schedule is relatively flexible.*

I could safely say that it was a good thing that I lived alone because I don't think I have ever screamed louder into a pillow. Matthew has been one of my favorite celebrities for the longest time. If we were going to be completely honest, once I started watching Criminal Minds, I immediately had a crush on him. This wasn't exactly the profession to be in if you were going to have a celebrity crush. I was often invited to red carpets and movie premiers, so I met quite a few stars. I never thought I would have to worry about slipping up on my professionalism.

Because I never thought I would even meet him.

My obvious answer to his request was yes. I would never *ever* miss an opportunity to have a photoshoot with someone so inspiring and meaningful to me. So I started writing an email back.

*Hi Matthew!*

Should I address him like that? Is that unprofessional?

*Hi Mr. Gubler*

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

*Hi Matthew!* We are gonna stick with that. *I don't know if this is too short of a notice, but I actually have a free spot tomorrow. (Of course if that doesn't work for you, I can figure something out for later, and try to fit it in before your birthday). I have a few ideas for props that I can send you? Let me know how I can help.*

I sent it and ran my hands through my hair, tossing my phone back onto my comforter. I had taken pictures of so many awesome celebrities:

• Selena Gomez

• Robert Downey Jr.

• Dylan O'Brien

• Grant Gustin

• Holland Roden

• Danai Gurira

But this was by far the coolest one, in my mind at least.

While waiting a little to anxiously for a reply, I decided I was going to make myself some lunch, Ramen. I set my phone on the counter as I boiled my noodles, peering over at the blank screen every few seconds (but really they felt like **minutes**).

Just as I was adding the flavour packet to the bowl my phone buzzed. I jumped slightly, spilling part of the packet out of the bowl.

"Damnit." I quickly wiped the salt into the trash can and snatched my phone, seeing another email.

*Tomorrow is actually perfect, and I would love to hear your recommendations on props, clothes, anything really. I'm going to leave my number on this email so we can have easier contact of that's okay with you.*

Wow, alright. I will now have Matthew Gray Gublers number in my phone. I made a contact for him.

**It's y/n, soooo for props. I figured I could bake you a cake! I took a few baking electives in college so I could make a really nice one and we can do something with it. I recommend you bring clothes you like to wear that are black and white. (Other colors work too, but it just looks and flows better if it's black and white). I will set the rest of the stuff up. I will be ready for you by 1 pm if that's okay.**

*You would bake me a cake?! That would be super cool thank you! I would love that. I will bring a few black and white outfits. Would it be weird if I brought a black and white Kimono?*

A chance to see Matthew in a kimono? Please yes.

**Oh my gosh please do. I would love to take pictures of you in an infamous kimono of yours.**

*Awesome! I will see you tomorrow at 1. Heres my managers info for you to sell the billing to.*

He attatched his managers email. I just sat at my kitchens island, smiling like a true dork at my phone.

**And here is my address, I run the studio at my house. What is your favorite cake and icing by the way? :)**

Was a smiley face unprofessional?

I need to chill out.

*Vanilla cake and chocolate frosting possibly? I will eat anything though probably. :)*

Now I was really smiling at my phone like a psycho idiot.

**Alrighty, see you tomorrow**

Since I didn't want to wake up too early tomorrow, I decided I was going to start the cake tonight. I had quite a few recipes held in my cabinets. I located my vanilla cake recipe and put my pre-made chocolate frosting on the counter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour of preparing, making a cake from scratch, and putting it in the oven. The cake was finally done and cooled. I added black cocoa to the frosting to make it completely black and got out my white gel.

*You made it 3 decades :)*

Was scrawled in calligraphy on the top of the cylindrical cake. I added white drips down the sides and white multi shaped sprinkles to the bottom part.

I set it in my fridge and got ready for bed. I know it's going to be hard to sleep just thinking about tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My alarm woke me up at 10 am, never before this had I woke up with a smile on my face before 12.

I took a quick shower and dressed in a white and blue floral romper with my hair in a high ponytail. Now it was time to set up backgrounds for the shoot.

I had two stations downstairs where I took all my photos. I set the first one up very normal with a white background and a rustic black stool. The second one was set up with another white background but littered with black streamers and big *30* black and white speckled balloons strung at the top.

Once I was done with all that. It was nearing 1. I slipped the cake out of the fridge and slid it onto my island. I glanced up at the clock above my stove.

*12:49*

Since I just had a little bit of time, I went a put some simple makeup on. I usually don't wear makeup when taking pictures of people, but for obvious reasons, I was making an exception.

Just as I was leaving my bathroom I heard a knock at my door. I walked swiftly to my door and opened it shakily.

"Hi!" He held up the clothes that were hung lazily over his arm. He smiled that million dollar smile and I could have sworn he looked me up and down.

Wishful thinking I guess.

"Welcome!" I stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting him in. "If you wanna set your stuff down, those stairs to the right lead you down the the studio."

"Thanks." He scurried down the stairs as I grabbed the cake and followed him down. I set it on a table that I had down there, he peered over at it and immediately burst into fits of laughter.

"I knew you had a sense of humor, so why put something normal and boring on the cake." I laughed with him as he tried to catch his breath.

"This is so perfect." He laughed a little more. "Thank you, so much." I shrugged with a smile. I posed him in front of the streamers with the cake.

He made some silly faces and smiled like there was no tomorrow. Next I brought him to the more plain station, sitting him on the stool. I looked through the lenses of the camera and glared a bit.

"Hey can you put your left leg up on the second peg of the stool?" I asked, pointing to his leg.

"This one?" He put it on the third. I shook my head. "This one?" He moved it down the the fourth. He was smiling a sly smile, seemingly challenging me.

"Let me do it for you." I had to pose people often, but posing him was going to be a little harder for me, considering I found him painfully attractive.

I moved his leg up to the second one and patted it.

"Now leave it there, so I don't have to help you again." I giggled, walking back to my camera. Taking a picture of him leaning forward on the stool and smiling. I then made him laugh and got a good genuine one of him leaning back and laughing. After all that, I proposed that we eat some cake and took a break.

I cut him a slice and handed it to him with a smile.

"So, tell me about yourself." He said, eating a bite of his cake.

"Well, I have always enjoyed photography. I love all types of art, so I also draw and paint often. And I have a black cat upstairs. His name is-" and I stopped, blood rushing to my cheeks. He is most certainly going to ask me the name, and I do not want to tell him.

He stared at me expectantly. "What is his name?" He motioned me to go on.

"Uh," I laughed a little awkwardly, setting my hands in my lap and staring at them. "His name is Spencer. As in Spencer Reid..." I glanced up at him and saw a huge grin break out on his face.

"So you like Criminal Minds? I never would have guessed. You just don't seem the type."

"Well all my memorabilia is in my room, just so people don't think I'm weird for having quite a few framed and signed posters." I smiled up at him, pushing around the remaining cake crumbs on my plate.

"One, That's not weird, that's awesome. Two, can I please meet Spencer and take pictures with him in my kimono."

I don't think I have ever heard a better sentence in my entire life.

"Yes, absolutely! I'll go get him." I clunked up the stairs on my search to find Spencer. I went to his usual spot first, my bed. Luckily he was sitting there, licking his outstretched foot. "Hi baby! You are about to take pictures with the guy you are named after. He almost as cute as you!" I grabbed him from the bed an headed back downstairs. I walked in with the accidental impeccable timing to see Matthew in his barely tied kimono, showing off his chest. My eyes widened a bit and he tied it off fully.

"Is this the famous Spencer?! He is so cute!" He reached his arms out at Spencer. My little fluff ball curled up into him instantly, cuddling into his silky kimono.

We took many many pictures of Spencer and Matthew together. I think maybe my cat likes him more than he likes me now.

"Okay, last idea. How about we just take some more up close pictures of me feeding you some cake?" It came put as a question because I didn't know how comfortable he would be with it.

"Perfect!" I cut another slice of the cake and brought it over to him. We were both sitting on the floor.

"This might be a little awkward, okay?" I giggled as I leaned back to get his whole face in the shot. This proved to be very difficult as I was using my left hand to take the picture. I fed him the cake with the right as he looked at the camera with a more seductive look. I could have melted into the floor.

I decided to switch hands so I could take the photos better, but now my very uncoordinated hand was the one picking up the cake. As I went down to get another section of the cake for another angle of feeding this sculpture of a man, I instead dipped my thumb right into the deep black frosting.

"Shit, I'm so sorry hold on." As I went to stand up and grab a napkin to wipe my thumb off, Matthew grabbed my wrist lightly.

"Hold on, uh, I have an idea, before you do anything." I sat down with a confused look. "I saw someone do this in another shoot. But we totally don't have to do it. I just thought it would be a different idea." His words were more rushed than usual.

"I'm sure I've done weirder things for other shoots, don't worry. It's *your* shoot." I reassured him, though my head was swimming wondering what he was going to do.

"Ok. So. What I'm going to do is put your thumb in my mouth, and I'm basically gonna, uh, suck on it while kinda smiling?" He could barely get through the whole thing without laughing.

"Alright, weird request but I like it!" I giggled for what seemed like the 30th time today. "And to make you feel better, yes, I have done weirder."

"Thank God."

"So I am guessing you want me to do something like this with the rest of my hand, ya know, the part that's not in your mouth." I stated as I placed my hand on his cheek. He let a slow breath out, staring into my eyes.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Okay." I said with a shrug, grabbing my camera from the ground. He opened his mouth with an all too familiar wide grin as I placed my thumb in. His mouth closed around it and he smiled, just a little. I brought my camera to my face, capturing the moment that I would have forever in my mind and in a small frame on my bedroom wall, for sure.

I slipped my thumb from his mouth and watched as his face turned extremely red. To save him embarrassment, I immediately stood up and grabbed a napkin to wipe the rest of the frosting off.

"Can I see it?" He motioned to the camera. I nodded, sitting down right beside him, showing him the picture. It showed off a closer look at the rose tattoos I had near my wrists and the shiny watch that was gifted to me by my mom. "It turned out good! I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Oh no! Of course not. Total opposite." As soon as I said that I regretted it.

"So that made you extremely comfortable?" A sly smile was making it's way onto his face.

"That's, that's not- You know what? Sure, yes." I chuckled. "You don't really make me uncomfortable at all to be honest. So no, you didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Well I'm glad." He smiled and we sat in silence for a moment.

"Well I guess that's it yeah?" He nodded. "Well this was fun. Thanks for being an excellent subject to take pictures of."

He gathered his stuff as we went back upstairs. Once at the door, Spencer came up to him, rubbing on his leg. He bent over to pet him.

"So, I'm not sure if you are single or not." I could feel the blood draining from my face. Was this really happening right now? "But I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?"

Yes, this was happening right now.

"Really?" I could tell I sounded extremely excited, but at this point, I didn't even care.

"Yeah, you are super laid back, funny, talented, and you aren't scared away by how weird I am." He laughed, "So yes?"

"I would absolutely love to."

"Great. I'll text you." He winked and waved as he closed the door, leaving.

My back went against the door. I couldn't keep in the squeal so I just embraced it and squealed my heart out, doing a little dance.

Which was quickly ended when I heard a knock at the door.

"I'm sorry, I want to get to know you better immediately." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Are you free for the rest of the day?" I was sure that my face was red as a tomato.

"Yes I am." He grabbed my hand, dragging me outside.

"Then let's go."

[littlemisslol-fic]

46, 48, with team awesome?

Hey anon!! Thanks for the ask! This one got away from me, I’ll be real, so it’s a little long, but I had fun with it!

46. Fever and 48. Shackles

Eugene Fitzherbert isn’t a man who would crack under pressure. Sure, there’s been the odd time where the panic will settle deep in his bones and he’ll be forced to choke it down like a bad pill- but he never cracks. Not for Stalyan, not for Gothel, not for Zhan Tiri-

But this might just break his streak, and snap his disposition in two.

It was supposed to be a simple trip to Vardaros, an easy in-out kind of trip to grab a few things for his and Rapunzel’s anniversary. The kind of adventure that was more of a chore than anything, just a long hike and a day of shopping, followed by the trip back. Maybe that was why he’d invited Varian along, just for someone to talk to while they made the trip- though Eugene’s sorely kicking himself for that now. 

They’d been jumped not even a few hours from the border.

They’d been attacked from the side of the road, a group of thugs springing from the brush like rats from a sinking ship. It had caught them both off guard- hell, Eugene was still kicking himself for that. He’d gotten complacent with the low crime rates of Corona, it seemed it had made him rusty. Sure, they’d put up a good fight, the kid had gotten a few good swings in and took down a guy nearly twice Eugene’s size- the man couldn’t have been prouder, bless- and Eugene had managed pretty well for himself. 

But when a familiar figure had emerged from the bushes, Varian had frozen up immediately. 

Andrew looked just about as smug as he had the last time Eugene had seen him, but with Varian distracted- even for a second- it took only a few seconds for the other Saporians to get the drop on the kid, and Eugene by extension.

And now, here they were, chained up in some kind of basement, waiting for the bunch of hippies to decide what to do with them.

The cell was about the size of a Coronian jail cell, made of thick stones and iron bars against one side. A small window let in a few slivers of weak light, but it also let in the drafts of cold air from the evening. When they’d first been locked in, the two brothers had tried everything they could to escape, from picking locks to chipping at the grout between the stones, but nothing had worked. Their chains attached to their cuffed ankles only allowed for maybe two feet worth of movement, not even close to enough to reach the cell door. They’d been in the cell for the better part of the week.

And Varian started to get sick.

“How’re you holding up, bud?” Eugene asks, and Varian offers a weak smile. The kid shifts a bit- the shackle around his ankle makes an unhappy noise of iron scraping against stone. Eugene winces at it, but shuffles closer to offer his shoulder. 

“Been better.” Varian mutters, pressing into his older brother’s side. Eugene gives up on the macho-man bit and wraps his arms around the kid, hugging him close to keep him warm. Varian keeps shivering, cold no matter what Eugene does to try and help. It’s damp and nasty in the cell- Eugene can see mold and mildew growing in all the little crannies, even in the weak light. 

Andrew hadn’t been nice enough to give them blankets, or anything really- it seems the Saporians weren’t exactly about five-star accommodations.

“It’ll be alright.” Eugene says, curling his arms around Varian as if to shield him from the world. “I’m sure sunshine is out there right now looking for us- give it another hour and I bet she’ll be here with her frying pan flying.” 

Varian laughs at that, but it quickly devolves into a coughing fit. Eugene grimaces and rubs at his back, unable to do much else. Just their luck that the dismal conditions had caused Varian to get sick, but the former thief can’t say he’s surprised. The kid’s small, he gets cold easily- as Varian had complained about on more than one occasion- and the cell certainly isn’t the place to keep an illness at bay.

The coughing stops, and Varian slouches a little more into Eugene’s side. Idly the man brings up a hand to feel the kid’s forehead with the back of it. He’s burning up- Eugene huffs out a stressed breath. This was only going to get worse the longer they stayed down here. 

Eugene tenses when, speak of the devil, he hears a nearby door slam open. His arms tighten around the kid, trying his best to hide Varian from view. The alchemist shudders, from the fever or from fear Eugene can’t tell, but either way he levels his very best glare as Andrew waltzes into view.

“How’re we doing today, boys?” Andrew asks, his grin splitting from ear to ear. Eugene feels the urge to growl- Andrew only seems to have eyes for Varian at the moment, and it sets the older man on edge. Eugene knows they have history, knows that Andrew would love nothing more than to kill the kid. 

Eugene refuses to let that happen.

“We’re doing just swell, thanks!” The former thief says in a faux-chipper voice. “Really, out of all the cells I’ve ever stayed in, this one is a solid eight-out-of-ten.” 

“We do aim to please.” Andrew snarks, pulling a key from his pocket. Part of Eugene wants to lunge for it, but he knows better by now- he’d only get caught on the chain and fall flat on his face. 

But it doesn’t stop him from curling tighter around his little brother when Andrew cracks the door open and enters the cell.

Varian’s shaking hands ball up in Eugene’s undershirt- the only layer they’d left him in once they’d taken anything they could use to escape. The man scowls as Andrew approaches, has to bite back a scathing retort as Andrew crouches into a squat and looks at them with a sort of condescending look.

“I’m going to give you a choice.” Andrew says, “Because we of Saporia believe in giving everyone a chance.” 

“Bite me.” Eugene mutters. Andrew laughs.

“Nah, I’m good.” He tilts his head to get a look at Varian. “Now, here’s your options. You’re either going to let go of the kid, or we’re going to take him, forcefully. It’s up to you.” 

Eugene feels Varian’s shaking hands tense, curling tighter. In response Eugene manages to curl around the kid more, offhandedly worrying about how warm Varian was getting, but he looks up to Andrew to ignore it for now.

“Not happening.” Eugene says. His voice rings through the cell, ricocheting off stone and iron and puddles of water. Andrew rolls his eyes, and stands. 

“Fair enough, you had your chance. Kai!” 

Andrew barks the name, twisting around as the larger man enters the cell as well. Eugene tenses, clinging to Varian all the tighter. The kid’s gone a little limp, the fever taking over and sapping the alchemist’s strength. He can’t fight this, Eugene realizes as the panic settles in, it’s down to Eugene to keep his little brother from the people who wish him harm. 

But this is a fight even Eugene knows he can’t win. 

As Kai roughly reaches for Eugene, Andrew backs off a little, grabbing at the place Varian’s chain is bolted into the wall. Eugene tenses, anticipating it, but it still is a jolt when Andrew grabs the iron and yanks- nearly tearing Varian from Eugene’s grip. The kid shouts in pain as his ankle’s pulled, but Varian clings to Eugene all the same. 

And then Kai intervenes. 

Eugene snarls when he feels hands on his arms, an inhuman growl that nearly startles Kai- 

And that’s when Andrew manages to pull the kid from Eugene’s arms. 

Varian screams, a weak little squeak of a thing that rings through Eugene’s ears like a funeral bell. Kai’s hands tighten on Eugene’s arms- he tries frantically to pull away as Varian’s essentially dragged along the floor towards Andrew like a fish on a line. The boy’s hands weakly scramble at the floor, trying in vain to dig into the smooth stone. 

Andrew laughs a bit at the display, deftly pinning Varian’s ankle with one hand and unlocking the cuff with the other. Varian spits something that Quirin would box his ears over but Eugene can’t stop to chide him- the man’s too busy trying to pull away from Kai.

“Andrew!” Eugene shouts, desperately trying to pull the Saporian’s attention back to him. “Andrew, c’mon, don’t you want to pick on someone your own size, man-bun? Isn’t the kid a little below your paygrade-”

Andrew laughs, roughly grabbing Varian’s flailing wrists with both hands. “Oh, no.” The Saporian says, harshly using his grip to yank the kid off the floor. Varian snarls, trying to kick at Andrew with all he has. Eugene can’t help but notice how pale the kid is- there’s a thin sheen of sweat on Varian’s brow, which is worrying in the chill of the cell. Andrew chuckles, leering over Varian as the boy begins to tremble. 

“Me and the kid have unfinished business.” 

Varian struggles as Andrew drags him up and away, both his wrists caught in each of Andrew’s hands. “Let go!” The kid cries, digging his heels in as much as he can. Eugene pulls against Kai with everything he’s got- that’s his little brother goddamn it-

“Eugene!” Varian’s voice is wrecked, a scared noise that digs right into the depths of Eugene’s soul. The panic is so thick in his throat he can taste it, the bitter twang of not being able to protect-

Kai shoves Eugene back into the wall. His back hits with a crash and a flash of pain that skitters up and down his spine like fire. Eugene’s head cracks against the stone, and just like that he’s out like a light. 

>>><<<

When he wakes up again, Rapunzel is there. Eugene feels a pulse of confusion, and then terror. If she’s here, then where’s-

“The kid!” Eugene gasps, sitting up roughly, Rapunzel hisses as he moves, taking a hold of his shoulders and pushing Eugene back down onto the plush surface underneath him.

“Don’t move,” She says, “You still might have a concussion.” 

“No- I- sunshine the kid-” 

“Is right next to you.” 

Eugene tilts his head to the left, breathing a sigh of relief when he sees Varian lying close by. They’re both on a bed in some kind of caravan, the kid’s curled up around himself, not looking any worse for wear. He’s still pale, but the shaking seems to have stopped. Eugene feels something in him settle, seeing his little brother more relaxed. Rapunzel’s hands in his hair are soft and gentle. She hums her song to him, even if it doesn’t have magical properties anymore she can’t seem to help it.

“He’s fine.” She murmurs, “You’re both fine. But you need to sleep.” 

Ah, sleep sounds so good. 

Eugene reaches out an arm for Varian, patting next to him. On instinct the kid rolls into his side, in that subconscious, innocent way kids do. With Varian properly accounted for, Eugene feels himself start to drift. 

“Go to sleep,” Rapunzel coos, “He’ll be there when you wake up.” 

The man nods his assent, already feeling himself floating away. Varian snuffles into his side, hands curling tight into Eugene’s shirt and clinging. He’s small, warm and safe, Eugene can’t help but press a firm kiss into Varian’s hair at the sheer relief of having his little brother safe and sound in his arms. Exhaustion creeps up on him, his eyelids growing heavy. Rapunzel’s hands are soothing, soft and gentle, and the former thief feels himself slip away into his dreams. 

And Eugene, for the first time in a week, sleeps soundly. 

[bytheangell]

Had to Go Too Far to Know How Far to Go

( @shadowhunterbingo Square: Enemies to Lovers) (Read on AO3)

Jace is seething, sitting across from Maryse in her office as the Head of the Institute. Jace isn’t sure if he’s relieved it’s Maryse and not Robert - sometimes he thinks he can play Robert a little better than he can Maryse, but he isn’t sure it matters this time around. He knows he’s in actual trouble when he’s called into the office instead of just reprimanded wherever she happens to find him around the Institute.

And he’s definitely in trouble. Apparently, someone saw him sneaking out after curfew and turned him in. He barely made it two blocks away from the Institute before he felt a tap on his shoulder and was instructed to return back immediately, then escorted directly here.

Jace isn’t sure who told on him - he knows he mentioned the party he was trying to go to around a few of the other Shadowhunters during training that morning, mostly to brag about the pretty Seelie girl who invited him. Any one of them could’ve gotten jealous and decided to be petty about it.

So instead of drinking Seelie wine and forgetting about his responsibilities for a night, he’s getting a lecture on representing not only the New York Institute and the Nephilim stationed here, but the Lightwood name. Jace grits his teeth and manages to “Yes, Ma’am” and “sorry, Ma’am” his way through the lecture.

No matter how many times he asks, she refuses to tell him who turned him in.

The next morning at training he eyes the others with a steely gaze. “I’m not sure which one of you ratted me out,” he says. “But if I find out-” Jace pauses there, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “Scratch that, when I find out, I’ll make sure you never have a single fun night in your entire life. Don’t pull that shit again.”

Jace eyes them all one-by-one, catching Alec’s eye-roll before noticing the confused expressions of a few others who don’t seem to know what he’s even talking about, let alone be the ones responsible for it. Either they’re surprisingly good at playing dumb, or none of them went to Maryse.

But if it wasn’t any of them, who else could it be?

---

The next time Jace gets in trouble for trying to sneak out of the Sanctuary to avoid getting caught, this time to test out using the morning star flail that Robert keeps insisting Jace can’t take in the field, he gets assigned weapon and combat gear cleaning duty for the next two weeks.

To his surprise, Andrew Underhill is waiting outside the training room as he leaves Maryse’s office. He tries to look like he’s just passing by but Jace is positive he was listening in.

“Who knew wanting to practice a new weapon would be frowned upon,” Jace comments, covering his frustration with the whole situation with his usual bravado, forcing a smirk on his face. “Guess cleaning all the weapons is one way to familiarize myself with them better.”

“Pretty sure it’s less the wanting to practice and more the going on patrol alone with a weapon you’re not proficient in,” Andrew doesn’t look amused. “Seems like a good way to get yourself killed.”

Jace rolls his eyes. “I would’ve been fine.”

“Sure you would’ve,” Andrew agrees easily enough, though Jace notes with a moment of annoyance that he doesn’t sound genuine. Does he think Jace is that incompetent, too? “Sorry about the cleaning detail,” Andrew adds, which shifts the subject slightly.

“Don’t be,” Jace shrugs. “Isn’t like it’s your fault.”

A strange look crosses Andrew’s face at that, a flicker of hesitation as if he might say something, then changes his mind. Jace almost comments on it but Andrew speaks again, his words quick and dismissive.

“Yeah, no, of course not. Just trying to be sympathetic.” That’s what Andrew says, though Jace can’t help but notice he still looks guilty, but maybe that’s just for the eavesdropping.

Jace arches an eyebrow. “Right,” he says slowly, not sure why Andrew’s being so weird all of a sudden. “Anyway, guess I should go get some rest if I’m going to be up at the crack of dawn wiping down weapons.” Jace turns and leaves Andrew still lingering outside of Maryse’s office, not thinking twice about it.

The following morning Jace shows up to the weapons room prepared for several hours of solitary cleaning. He definitely doesn’t expect Andrew to show up about half an hour in with an offer to help.

“Want a hand?” Andrew asks, eyeing the still very large pile of unpolished weapons.

“...why would you want to do that?” Jace asks suspiciously. This is a punishment after all, and he sure as hell wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have to be. No one in their right mind would willingly subject themselves to this.

Andrew shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep. Sometimes the repetitiveness of these sorts of tasks helps clear my head. Plus, I figured you could use the company. If you’d rather be alone, though, I could go…”

Jace considers the offer. It’s way too quiet in here - Jace always preferred to be around people, to have conversation and distractions so he isn’t left alone with his thoughts for too long. If nothing else, Jace would definitely appreciate the company even if Andrew just hangs out and doesn’t do any actual cleaning.

“Alright, have at it,” Jace finally agrees.

The two of them spend the next two hours talking and joking as they polish the weapons, and Jace realizes that this is probably the first significant amount of time he’s spent alone with Andrew. They get along surprisingly well, and Jace would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit how much he appreciates the way Andrew seems to look at him with an almost reverent admiration, despite being older than Jace. He can’t help it - when you spend the better part of your life trying to impress others, it’s the best feeling in the world when it pays off.

Andrew shows up to help Jace a few more times that week, until Jace begins to expect him rather than wonder if he’ll show. Outside of a few misguided attempts to rein in Jace’s reckless side, which Jace chalks up to pretty standard interactions for a friendship with him, the two of them only grow closer. Andrew is smart, the properly clever sort of smart that Jace loves, but he’s also kind. Much more kind than many raised in the life of Nephilim are. And it’s that kindness, that warmth, that Jace is drawn to the most.

When Jace’s punishment ends he feels a pang of unexpected loss at the idea of not seeing Andrew every day. He goes out on a limb and asks if Andrew would want to have a standing offer to meet up for breakfast in the mornings in the cafeteria, so they still have time outside of training and patrols to just hang out.

There’s a little flutter in Jace’s stomach when Andrew eagerly agrees with a huge smile, and Jace realizes with sudden certainty that somewhere over the past two weeks his feelings for Andrew may have shifted to something more than just a desire for friendship.

He ignores that for now, content with breakfast, daily talks, and getting to know Andrew a little better.

---

“Why don’t you wash up and meet me down in the cafeteria? I’ll see if I can get us some breakfast food cooked up,” Andrew offers. He sounds… hesitant. Maybe even a little scared. Jace doesn’t blame him - Jace knows he must look about two seconds away from self-destructing because he feels like he is.

Jace messed up. He knows he messed up, and he’s going to do something to fix it. He has to.

“No, I just want to sleep,” Jace says, his tone uncharacteristically cold toward Andrew who has recently become the only person to see the best sides of him nearly constantly. He can’t help it when the very sight of Andrew brings a small smile to his face no matter how bad of a mood he’s in… or at least, it usually does. “See you tomorrow.”

They just got back from a failed mission, one that Jace was in charge of. Jace kept most of his control during the debriefing, and now the rest of the team heads off to shower and rest.

Not Jace.

Jace waits until Andrew is out of sight before he slips away unnoticed to the weapons room. Grabbing two extra daggers and a seraph blade, he heads back to where his team lost track of the demons they were after before. He’s only back on the trail for a few minutes before Alec finds him, saying that Hodge sent him to track Jace and bring him back. The look of pure regret on Alec’s face says everything Jace needs to know about how in trouble he is.

“Sorry,” Alec says for the tenth time on their way back to the Institute. “I could always say I didn’t find you,” he offers, sounding unconvinced that would be any better.

Jace shakes his head. “No, then they’ll just punish you, too,” he sighs. “How did he even know I was gone?! I swear no one saw me leave.”

Alec shrugs. “I dunno.” They continue to walk in silence until Alec drops Jace off in the training room where Hodge is waiting, arms crossed over his chest.

Jace thinks that the worst news he’ll hear that night is the clearly stated warning that if he ever tries to go on an unsanctioned mission alone again he’ll be pulled from active duty entirely.

Instead, it’s the revelation of who told Hodge what he was doing that fills Jace’s veins with ice and makes him feel like he’s about to throw up.

“If Underhill hadn’t seen the cameras and warned us as fast as he did…”

Jace doesn’t hear anything after that, the words a buzzing noise in his brain. Underhill. Andrew. The fact that Andrew is the one who betrayed him makes this a million times worse. He trusted him. He liked him. He still does, which makes this hurt so much more. If it’d be anyone else…

Jace wastes no time going directly to Andrew’s room after Hodge releases him.

“What the fuck, Andrew?!” Jace demands before the door is even fully open.

Andrew looks as sick to his stomach as Jace felt only minutes prior.

“I’m sorry,” Andrew manages. “But you-”

“You’re not my goddamn keeper. You nearly got me pulled from active duty!” Jace seethes.

Andrew pales. “I’m sorry,” he repeats.

“Yeah, you keep saying that,” Jace points out, nothing but heat in his eyes and venom in his tone. He’s pissed. He doesn’t want to be pissed at Andrew, but he is, and he needs to get this out.

Andrew, to Jace’s surprise, grows defensive. “Maybe if you stopped trying to show off on your own all the time I wouldn’t have to keep turning you in just to--”

Jace’s jaw drops open and Andrew’s words cut off abruptly with the realization of what he just admitted.

“Keep turning me in?” Jace repeats, shaking his head. “It was you before, too, wasn’t it? By the Angel, Andrew, I thought we were friends! I thought-” but now it’s Jace’s turn to cut his words off abruptly because now is not the time for that, no matter how hurt he feels right now. “You know what, never mind. It doesn’t matter, because we clearly aren’t. I don’t want you to speak to me again, Underhill.”

Jace doesn’t stay for a response, allowing the abrupt shift from calling him Andrew to spitting out Underhill like it’s poison to do all the talking for him.

---

Things continue on in this way for a while - it seems like every time Jace goes off to make a potentially reckless decision Andrew is right there to drag him back. At first, Jace thought he was being too obvious, but no matter how many precautions he takes, Andrew always finds out, and Jace suffers for it. He knows the punishments are meant to be a deterrent but he mostly ignores them - in fact, they have the opposite effect. If everyone is going to assume he’s always out to cause trouble, then he might as well actually be out to cause trouble and have some fun in the process, live up to the reputation and all, right?

The times he manages to elude punishment only fuel more attempts, more risks to see how far he can push whatever fates are working against him here. When he gets away with it he’s rewarded with lavish nights out and thrilling solo missions far beyond anything he’d get cleared for through official channels, as well as any other number of adventures. More importantly, every time he manages to sneak out under Andrew’s seemingly constant watch (because of course Andrew works security at the Institute) it feels like a bigger victory, a louder ‘fuck you!’ to the person who, for reasons Jace still doesn’t understand because he refuses to speak with him, seems determined to ruin his life.

The only time they talk is on missions, and even then Jace shuts down any attempt at conversation outside of tactics and relevant information on whatever they’re tracking or fighting or protecting. He can tell that it hurts Andrew, but he pretends not to care just as intently as he pretends it doesn’t hurt him just as much. Jace reminds himself that Andrew is the one who betrayed him and his trust, after all.

They go on like this for quite some time. For half a year, in fact. Six straight months of Jace glaring daggers at Andrew every time he gets pulled in for breaking some rule or another. Six months of ignoring Andrew every time he practically begs Jace to just stop doing things that’ll get him in trouble in the first place.

Six months until Jace’s curiosity gets the better of him, finally overriding his anger enough for him to spin around after starting to walk away from Andrew in the middle of yet another attempted-conversation-turned-fight.

“I have to know,” Jace says. “What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you!” Andrew says. “I never hated you! Which you’d know if you ever just listened to me.”

“The thing is, I find that really hard to believe because I can’t imagine spending every waking moment trying to ruin the life of someone I liked.” Jace huffs. “Was it something I said? Were you jealous that the Lightwoods let me head missions-”

“Stop it,” Andrew pleads. “Stop being an ass just to push people away. I’m not your enemy, Jace!” Andrew snaps. “I’m trying to keep you alive, since you have no inclination of doing that on your own. I’m…” Underhill’s words stall out in his frustration as if he’s suddenly wondering if he should be saying anything at all. “I’m looking out for you, you self-sacrificing asshole,” he finishes, then seems to forcibly shut his mouth to not say anything more.

The words sound like they should be insults, but there isn’t anger behind them. Or, at least, there isn’t just anger - Jace can hear the concern behind them, too.

“I can look out for myself,” Jace points out, still defensive but much less angry.

“Sure you can,” Andrew says. “But you don’t. And I couldn’t convince you to, so…”

So Andrew wasn’t trying to ruin Jace’s life, he’s trying to protect it. And if Jace believes him, then he’s been doing it since before they were friends, and while they were friends, and even after, while Jace treated him like absolute shit for it.

“Why?” Jace asks. He’s pretty sure he knows, but he needs to hear Andrew say it. He needs to know and not just assume.

Andrew looks momentarily mortified by the question. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me say it…” Andrew mumbles.

“You wanted me to listen,” Jace reminds him. “Here’s your chance. I’m listening.”

Andrew seems to have lost the drive he had at the start of the conversation when the words were spilling out of him. Now it looks as if he has to force himself to say what comes next, but he does.

“Because I care about you, Jace. Because I like you. A lot. And the idea of something happening to you…” Andrew trails off, looking down at his feet for a moment before lifting his head to meet Jace’s eyes again. “I couldn’t stand it, not if there was something I could do to try and keep you safe. And maybe it wasn’t my place. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I just… even if you hated me for it, I couldn’t just stand back and wait for the night you went off to do something reckless and didn’t make it back.”

A heavy silence falls between them, Andrew done speaking his truth and Jace taking a moment to process it all.

“It wasn’t your place,” Jace agrees. “But as far as reasonings go, not wanting me to get hurt isn’t the sort of thing I can hate you for, is it?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Andrew says, looking anxious again.

Jace sighs. “Listen, before all of this,” Jace says, making a vague hand motion between the two of them to symbolize the past six months and everything that went wrong. “Before I ruined everything, I thought there might be something between us. And I get it, if I fucked things up too much to go back now, I understand, but-”

A second later Jace’s words are cut short by the press of Andrew’s lips to his in a kiss he returns eagerly once he recovers from the momentary surprise of it. It only breaks when Jace absolutely needs to take a breath, and honestly, Jace might’ve just gone right back in for more if Andrew didn’t take a small step back.

“You didn’t ruin everything,” Andrew says, unable to keep the small smile from his face now. “I meant what I said. I care about you. I like you. Present tense, here and now, even after everything. I’m not saying we should just pretend the last few months never happened, but… I don’t think it isn’t anything we can’t come back from. Do you?”

“Listen, I know we need to talk about this, and we will, but right now I really just want to kiss you again,” Jace confesses.

Andrew laughs. “We do need to talk. We should also maybe take the night to think things through before we jump into anything we’ll regret, verbally or physically.”

“I hate it when you’re rational,” Jace mutters. “But you’re right.”

“Maybe we can meet tomorrow? Over breakfast?” Andrew suggests.

The idea of having Andrew back, as a friend or something more, feels too good to be true. But here it is - here Andrew is - beaming like the goddamn sun.

“Breakfast sounds perfect,” Jace agrees, his smile genuine and hopeful for the first time in months.

[ingek73]

Royals Investigating Royals

Lainey

POSTED BY LAINEY

ON 04/03/2021 AT 3:36 PM

For all the times that we’ve heard about the British royal family staying above the fray, and never complaining or explaining, the events of this week should shut that sh-t down forever, non? The British royals are out here doing the MOST right now, as we get closer and closer to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s two-hour special with Oprah Winfrey airing on CBS this Sunday. F-ck the Super Bowl, this is the television event of the year.

On Tuesday, The Times published a report with source quotes from royal aides who revealed that complaints have been filed at the palace about Meghan’s alleged bullying of staffers. Conversations took place with Samantha Carruthers, the head of HR. Supposedly nothing was done about it. But as I wrote yesterday, if the royals are leaking information about internal HR complaints, it opens them up to further scrutiny about how their HR works in general. How often do we hear about royal HR complaints? And suddenly it’s all over the news over the only member of the family who happens to be a person of colour? And not the prince who was friends with the dead rapist pedophile and who was seen on multiple occasions hanging out with the dead rapist pedophile’s victims!?

What’s especially hilarious is that following The Times’s story about Meghan’s supposed bullying, Buckingham Palace released a statement:

“We are clearly very concerned about allegations in The Times following claims made by former staff of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Accordingly our HR team will look into the circumstances outlined in the article. Members of the staff involved at the time, including those who have left the Household, will be invited to participate to see if lessons can be learned. The Royal Household has had a Dignity at Work policy in place for a number of years and does not wand will not tolerate bullying or harassment in the workplace.”

How does this make sense? Royal aides were the ones who leaked the information about the alleged bullying to the media in the first place. And now as a result of said leak, the royal family is going to investigate themselves?

First of all, what has become quite clear in the last few years is that there is no hope of impartiality when the corporation investigates itself. If the royal family’s HR is looking into HR issues within the royal family, how objective of an investigation can we expect? Typically in these situations, an independent third-party is brought in to do the work. And even then, it depends on how that independent consultant is brought in and at whose behest. See Ray Fisher and Warner Bros. We’re talking about the monarchy here – is anyone seriously going to believe that the royal family is going to investigate the royal family and actually be transparent about the findings on the royal family?

Also… the “Dignity at Work” policy is a joke. Because any time you want to throw around the word “dignity” and “work” in that family, you run up against the problem of Prince Andrew. And it’s not just the Jeffrey Epstein association. Remember Andrew had to step down from his role as UK trade envoy a decade ago because of shady dealings with bad actors. If we’re talking about violations of Dignity at Work, why the f-ck are we starting with Meghan Markle?!

Black women know all too well the answer to that question. But that perspective will likely be missing from whatever bullsh-t “investigation” the royals will be conducting on themselves because, of course, theirs is not a diverse workplace. And the reason why there has been a push across the board, in all industries, for diversity at work is so that the experiences of all employees can be considered. So that when people of colour find themselves in positions of authority, and women in particular, they’re not labelled with the “angry Black woman” stereotype that is a direct product of prejudice. The fact that the royals leaked this story out now, desperately, is a gross reminder of what they’re capable of, how low they can go.

At the same time… it’s a f-cking scramble. This is messy – and also frantic. Nothing about the cards that the British royal family have played this week gives us any indication that they’re cool, calm, and collected, which is the image that they’ve been selling from time. These people are famously stoic, or at least they were. We were told they’re unflappable, composed at all times. But all it took was an interview with Oprah to completely destroy that illusion. How is any of this on-brand?! Are they Real Housewives now? Because these moves are reality show star moves!

It used to be that the British royal family’s machinations happened in secret, they let other people do the dirty while they made the orders from afar and kept themselves clean. Nowadays they’re waist-deep in their own sh-t, no longer capable of distancing themselves from the drama – because we’re no longer living in the 60s and 70s. And their problem is that they want to be half back and half forward. They want things to work like they did in the 60s and 70s and to be rewarded with 2020s clout, which is not coming as quickly or as easily as they expected it to. Playing this offense against the Sussexes when they did, just days before the Oprah interview, is clumsy. Everybody, even those who are predisposed to side with the Queen and the royal family, is aware of the timing. And it only highlights how dramatically UNCHILL the institution is about what’s about to go down in this Harry and Meghan interview. Which only makes us all the more fixated on Sunday. The added complication here for them is that they’re trying to fight pictures with words. These reports in the UK papers have gotten a lot of coverage, no doubt. But they have to go up against video, two hours worth of video featuring Harry and Meghan with Oprah, and soundbites that will travel a lot farther than article links. Like the new preview that just dropped yesterday. That’s coming up in the next post.

[storiesforallfandoms]

a regular guy ~ andrew siwicki

word count: 2245

request?: yes!

@acscvf “You’re such a good writer! Loved your Andrew Siwicki one please do another with him? Maybe where he falls in love with a famous actress and she loves how he’s just a sweet regular guy.”

description: when the squad is invited to a red carpet premiere of a movie, andrew finds himself falling for the leading actress, and is surprised to find her returning the feelings

pairing: andrew siwicki x actress!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

If anyone told me when I started filming and editing videos with Shane that I’d end up invited to the red carpet of a Marvel move, I never would’ve believed them. And yet here I was!

I was stood wit Shane, Ryland, Morgan, and Garrett, who was freaking out the most in our group. We had received the invite just days before and of course were all beyond excited for the opportunity. Just two short years before, we were just a group of friends making videos for YouTube, and now we’re on a red carpet!

I wasn’t sure how I should be acting. There were so many big named celebrities walking the red carpet, looking professional and like they belonged as they posed for the cameras and signed autographs for fans.

“Oh my God, I think that’s Samuel L Jackson!” Garrett exclaimed excitedly as another celebrity started walking the red carpet. I tried to keep my cool, but he was right. it was totally Samuel L Jackson.

“What do we do?” Ryland asked. “Do we walk the red carpet?”

“Are we even famous enough for that?” Morgan asked.

“Well, we can’t just keep standing in the corner like losers,” Shane said. “Let’s walk and see what happens.”

The minute we started walking, fans started calling for pictures and autographs. The paparazzi took our pictures, although we could tell that they weren’t really sure who we were. We were being treated like big movie stars. It was a weird feeling.

Suddenly, all the attention turned to the start of the red carpet. I recognized the actress getting out of the limo as the star of the movie. (Y/N). She was mainly big within action movies, and was a newbie to the Marvel franchise. I wasn't one for super action-y movies, but Garrett loved the Marvel movies and had me watch them all with him.

To say I had a crush on her was an understatement. I was completely star struck as I watched her walking towards us, smiling and waving to fans.

“It’s her!” Garrett exclaimed, grabbing on to my arm. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s her! Do you think we’ll get to meet her?”

“We can sure as well try,” I told him, pulling my arm so I could lead him down the carpet. I’d love to stand there and watch (Y/N), but we were already getting weird looks.

The place where the premiere was being held was a theatre that had been shut down specifically for the premiere. The lobby was set up with snack and drink tables for the guests. Now that awe were inside, we were thrown into the mix with the other celebrities. I was feeling much more nervous now.

“We have assigned seating,” Shane told us. “So we can go do whatever now, then meet up when the doors open.”

We agreed and broke off. Garrett and I immediately went to one of the snack tables. I expected it to be mostly those foods that you see rich people eating in TV shoes or movies, but it was a lot of good looking snacks; some sandwiches, fruit and veggie platters, cheese platters accompanied by some crackers.

“Do you think one of these tables will have any Cheez-Its?” Garrett asked as he stuffed a whole grape into his mouth.

I started laughing, about to tell Garrett that Cheez-Its definitely were not a snack you’d find at a movie premiere (although I wouldn’t doubt that he had brought some with him) when a voice said, “God, I wish. I could devour some Cheez-Its right now.”

Garrett yelped as I looked over my shoulder. I came face to face with none other than (Y/N), smiling brightly at us both. I found myself suddenly tongue tied, unsure of what to do or say. This felt like a dream, it couldn’t be real. There was no way she was actually there in front of me.

“You eat Cheez-Its?” Garrett finally asked after a moment of silence.

(Y/N) laughed. “I love Cheez-Its! They’re my favourite snacks. I don’t get to eat them enough because I’m supposed to be on a strict diet for workouts and stuff.”

“I think I’d die if I had to give up Cheez-Its for exercise,” Garrett commented. I was shocked at how calm he was being, but I could tell by looking at him that he was freaking out on the inside.

“I’m Andrew, by the way,” I said, finally finding my ability to speak. “This is Garrett.”

“Oh, I know,” (Y/N) said, Just as quickly as she said it, her face turned red. “I - I mean I’m a fan of you guys on YouTube, Shane too. God, that sounded so stalker-y didn’t it? I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s an honor to know you watch us,” I said.

I shared a look with Garrett and I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was: Holy shit, she watches our videos!

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” Garrett decided. “Then I’ll be back to discuss ways to sneak Cheez-Its while you’re on your diet.”

(Y/N) laughed as Garrett walked away. Her laugh was beautiful. I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Don’t tell him, but I already sneak Cheez-Its,” she whispered to me. “Don’t tell anyone, really. If my trainer catches word that I sneak snacks she’ll make me do the most extraneous exercises she can think of for a week straight. I won’t be able to walk for at least two weeks.”

“When people talk about how strict their diets and their trainers are, it makes me not want to work out anymore,” I commented.

“It’s definitely not easy,” (Y/N) confirmed. “Especially when your technical days off from workouts are days that you’re shooting action movies, so out of technicality I’m always working out.”

“Wait, do you do your own stunts?”

(Y/N) nodded, a proud smile on her face. “That’s why I have such a strict diet that I try and follow all the time. I want to make sure I can actually do the stunts I have to do. The one’s that aren’t terribly dangerous, that is. If it’s something that’s way too dangerous I have a stunt double.”

We started talking for a while about all (Y/N) had done for the movies she was in; besides the strict diet and her workout routine, she had also learned different types of martial arts so she could accurate do her own fight scenes, such as karate, taekwondo, Jiu Jitsu. Basically, she knew how to fight and how to defend herself.

She told me the rigorous process of her first audition or an action film; the casting director thought she looked too young and not looking strong enough for the role (”Just a way of saying I wouldn't get it because I was a young woman,” she told me). Due to this, she started practicing martial arts and started ending in video after video of her fighting, and of her workout routines. Finally, the director called her and told her they had made a mistake in turning her down and casted her in the role.

After a while, she stopped mid sentence and smiled. “I’m sorry, I’m talking all about myself.”

“No, don’t apologize. I’m enjoying listening to your stories,” I told her. “I don’t have anything to talk about that’s even close to being that interesting.”

(Y/N) shrugged. “You don’t have to try and top whatever I’ve said. I just want to know about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Was filmography always your passion? Did you always want to make movies or videos?”

I shook my head. “Growing up, doing anything within the entertainment business was seen as a farfetched dream. I went to college for psychology, I have three degrees, actually. It wasn’t until YouTube started taking off that I realized that making videos as a job could actually be possible.”

(Y/N) was smiling at me as she picked up a snack from the table and ate it. She was looking at me as if every word I was saying was the most interesting thing on the planet. Although I figured I was just imagining that because she’s a fucking actress! There’s no way she could think anything I was saying was interesting.

Garrett returned with two fancy glasses of champagne then. He passed one to me and addressed (Y/N), “I didn’t have enough hands to bring one for you, too, and I almost knocked one over just taking two so I didn’t get the chance to bring you one.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “That’s alright. I’m not a fan of champagne anyways. I’m more of a beer or a rum and coke sort of girl, but they never have anything like that at these fancy events.”

“I love a good beer,” I admitted. “I don’t get a lot of time to go drinking lately because of filming and editing and stuff.”

(Y/N) opened her mouth like she was about to say something else when suddenly someone announced that the screening was about to start. They warned about cell phone usage during the screening and asked us to keep what we witnessed tonight a secret for at least two weeks after the movie was released. Suddenly, all the people in the lobby began moving towards the theatre, getting between (Y/N) and myself and Garrett.

“I’ll see you after the screening!” she called as the crowd of people started moving her towards the doors.

Garrett and I found Shane, Ryland, and Morgan, and as we walked to our seats we told them about meeting with (Y/N). When we sat, we realized we were only two rows behind her.

“I’m gonna throw food at her till she notices us,” Morgan decided, taking a handful of the popcorn that was provided for us.

“Don't you dare!” Ryland scolded, grabbing hold of her hand.

It didn’t take food throwing for (Y/N) to notice us. She turned around, scanning the seats behind her until her eyes landed on us. A small smile spread on her face as she waved. I smiled and waved back.

The movie, as expected, was really good. It got a standing ovation when it ended. (Y/N), her cast members and the crew stood to bow and to thank everyone for coming out. They made quick speeches, talking about how the film was dear to them and they were glad we enjoyed it, but asked again for us not to speak of it with anyone else until after its release.

The whole time, (Y/N) was looking at me. Whenever I locked eyes with her, she’d smile. I couldn’t help but smile back.

When the event was over, the Squad and I stood to exit the building. I had just walked out of the theatre when I heard a familiar voice say, “Andrew!”

I turned around to see (Y/N) pushing through the crowd towards me. “Sorry, I just wanted to catch you before you left.”

“That’s alright,” I said. “The movie was really good by the way. We all loved it.”

“Thank you!” she said. “Listen, you said you haven’t had the time to go drinking lately, but do you think you’d have the time sometime this weekend to go...with me?”

I was shocked by the question. I could hardly believe she actually asked. I was back to believing that this whole night was a dream. How could I, just a normal guy that liked making videos on YouTube, go from just that to being at a premiere for a Marvel movie, and being asked out by the lead actress afterwards? This was crazy!

“Really?” I found myself asking.

(Y/N) giggled. “Yes, really. You don’t believe me?”

I shrugged. “Honestly, not to stereotype, but I figured you’d already have a boyfriend. Someone who’s in your profession. You’re incredibly cute and you have a great personality after all.”

Her face turned red again, matching my own no doubt. I couldn’t believe I had said that. What was this night?!

“I’ve dated guys in the business,” she admitted. “But I’d rather date someone who’s...not. Don’t get me wrong, you are incredibly famous, but you’re also still a sweet, down to earth, normal guy. Most people who hit this level of fame let it go to their head. Most guys I’ve dated are so full of themselves, or they only date me for leverage on their own career.”

I shook my head. “You deserve someone who wants you for who you are, not for what you are.”

(Y/N) looked down as she admitted, “If you want to, I’d kind of like for that to be you.”

I’d be crazy for turning down that offer. I meant what I told her, she did deserve someone who saw her for the person she was, not for the fame she had. She was beautiful and had an amazing personality. If I said no to this beautiful woman asking me on a date, I’d be completely insane.

“I’d like for that to be me,” I told her. “I’m free Saturday night for a drink. I could pick you up wherever you’re staying, we can go somewhere quiet where you wouldn’t be recognized.”

(Y/N) looked back up at me, the brightest smile I had ever seen on her face. “Okay, I’d love that.”

This is kinda shit, I’m so sorry

[markonasurface]

20/50 - “It’s 8:30, I have a hangover and you’re annoying me.”

Fandom: All for the Game/The Foxhole Court Characters/pairings: Jean, Jeremy/jerejean Summary: Jean and Jeremy tag along on the Foxes’ spring break trip. A/N: This has taken me too long to finish. I think I started it two years ago. I almost forgot to use the quote prompt.

Warnings: implied past abuse

“Kevin invited you to the Foxes’ spring break trip?” Jean asked, eyebrows high.

Jeremy barely glanced up from the text he was studying. “Mm.”

“Are you going?” Jean pressed.

“Are you?” Jeremy snapped.

Jean flinched and Jeremy’s mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry.” He finally put his studying materials down and turned to face Jean. “I didn’t mean to snap. I just - last semester, you know?”

“Yes,” Jean said, even though he didn’t. He felt the heat in his cheeks and internally cursed himself for not being able to control his reactions. Riko used to love to make him flinch. It was at one point worth the beatings for not giving him the satisfactory.

“So, are you going?” Jeremy asked, back to his normal self if a bit exhausted.

He bit the inside of his cheek and stayed completely still. It was hard being around Kevin but it might be nice. Kevin did whatever Riko told him to do but Kevin wasn’t cruel. He had learned from his therapist that he didn’t miss Evermore; he missed the familiarity of it. Kevin could give him a bit of what he thought to be normalcy.

“Jean?” Jeremy said quietly, patiently.

Jean looked up to meet his eyes. “I - yes.”

“You’ll have to give Kevin my regards,” Jeremy said and turned back to his text.

“You aren’t going?” Jean didn’t know if he was relieved.

“I should really study,” Jeremy sighed.

Their bedroom door opened and Jean jumped.

“Y’all left your door unlocked.” Laila fell onto Jeremy’s bed. “And you’re going to spend your last spring break studying? Come on, Jer.”

“Fuck off, Laila,” he said.

She nudged his chair with her foot. “I bet those Foxes get fucking crazy. I wish I’d been invited.”

“Take my invitation.”

Laila took a loud breath. “Mama Alvarez would have a cow if we bailed on her family trip.”

“If you don’t come they’ll probably stick me in a room with Hemmick,” Jean said.

“You could use the brea-eak,” she sang. “Also, see if they’ve picked up any new moves for finals.”

“Laila.”

She held up her hands in a placating gesture. “I’m kidding. Go. Have fun. Or you’ll burn yourself out and have to come back in the fall.”

Day 1

“An island? Seriously?” Thea stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

Kevin shrugged.

“I thought we were just flying somewhere tropical,” Jeremy added.

“Why are you all looking at me?” Allison demanded. “Neil’s the one who paid for this trip.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Neil said. “I recently came into some money.”

Jeremy sighed. “Right. N.B.D. I just rented an island.”

“Follow me.” A man in khakis and a polo shirt motioned for them. He had introduced himself as Frank as they boarded the small plane that brought them to their rented island.

It was a short walk through some trees and a large house came into view. There were gasps and one of the freshmen from the team said, “No fucking way.”

“Dude, how much did this cost?” Matt asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Neil said, leading the way through the gate.

They walked past the pool and its fountains, up some stairs and through double doors. As they all stood in the foyer,  Frank smiled and said, “Right. Everything’s stocked. I’ll be back at the end of the week. If you need anything, call the number on the refrigerator.”

Neil handed the man a cash tip and thanked him.

Allison looked around at everyone. “There are ten rooms. Neil gets first pick, losers.”

“You mean Andrew,” Jack mocked.

It was quiet for a moment then at once everyone raced to find a room. Jean looked at Jeremy and said, “They’re fucking crazy.”

Jeremy laughed as they heard Dan yell, “I’m your damn captain!”

They followed the shouting and as they turned a corner Jeremy ran into Renee. They both apologized, looking like literal sunshine and Jean bit his lip.

“They’re the guests.” Allison was staring down one of her teammates. “They get the room next to ours.”

Jeremy realized she was talking about them and opened his mouth. Renee shook her head, a warning in her eyes. Someone stomped by and Allison grinned.

“Welcome to the third nicest - who am I kidding? - the fourth nicest room on this island!” She gestured grandly. “And that’s saying something.”

Nicky popped his head in. “Fifth nicest. Andrew and Neil gave up the first nicest so they have the second nicest, Dan and Matt have the third nicest, and you have the fourth nicest.”

Before Allison could demand to know who got the glass room on top if it wasn’t Dan and Matt, Nicky ran off.

Jeremy looked as if he suddenly remembered something. “Did you two wanna share? I can room with Nicky or whoever.”

Allison cackled. She left the room.

“We’re not -” Jean started.

“We were never dating,” Renee said.

Jeremy’s eyes were wide. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed and uh, forget I said anything.”

Renee smiled kindly and backed out of the room. Jeremy looked at Jean who was staring at the one bed in the middle of the room.

“I can still room with Nicky if you’re not comfortable sharing,” he said.

Jean swallowed. “It’s fine.” He managed a small smile and said, “We share every other day of the year.”

After they unpacked, everyone seemed to congregate by the pool. Nicky and Andrew were situated behind the bar and Neil was perched on top, but everyone else was already swimming.

Jean glanced around nervously. Since joining the Trojans, he’d become a lot more self-conscious about the state of his body.

“You can leave your shirt on.” The voice startled him and he looked up at Neil, then glanced to see if Jeremy had heard as well. Then he realized Neil was speaking in his native tongue. “But nobody cares.”

Andrew spoke. “Ignore the freshmen. They’re idiots.”

“Where’s Kevin?” Jeremy asked, coming to sit at the bar.

“Fucking Thea,” a girl said, joining them. “I saw her take his shirt off but then they moved away from the glass.”

Aaron grabbed a tray of drinks from Nicky and sneered, “Do you have to be such a perve, Sheena?”

She stuck her tongue out at him, snagging a drink and flicking her wet hair at him.

“Like, Andrew said,” Nicky stated. “The freshmen are idiots.”

He mimicked Sheena’s face, nose scrunched and eyes narrowed, then asked, “What can I make for you?”

“Something that’ll make me forget I have my last midterm when we get back,” Jeremy grimaced. “Who gives a midterm after spring break?”

“I got just the drink for you.”

The sound of the blender going again cut off conversation. Sheena left to play chicken with her friends and Renee called Jean over.

“Don’t break anything!” Dan called from where she was laying out with Allison and Renee as Jean joined them.

“Here you go.” Nicky handed him a glass.

Jeremy held the drink up and studied it. “Are those silver stars?”

“Edible silver stars.”

Aaron came back with a tray in one hand and a girl’s hand in the other and said, “Nicky has to make everything gay.”

The girl hit his arm lightly with the back of her hand. She looked at Jeremy and held out a hand. “Katelyn.”

“Jeremy,” Jeremy said and shook.

“I made you both the same,” Nicky said, handing two more glasses over the bar.

“On three?” Katelyn suggested. “One. Two. Three.”

Everyone who had a drink took a large sip and more than one of them sputtered. “What the fuck is this?” Aaron gasped. “Did you just add ice and stars?”

Nicky shrugged. “Make your own damn drinks if you don’t like it.” He hopped over the bar and ran for the pool.

“You’re drinking this?” Aaron asked in disbelief and Jeremy turned to see Neil gulping it down.

After one large sip, Jeremy was already starting to feel warm. He took another sip, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. When he opened them he saw Renee running her hand down Jean’s bare back. How many times had Jeremy wanted to do the same?

He shook his head. He was such a lightweight. He’d never been one to party hard but he knew how to hold his liquor. The last year he’d spent more time studying and less and less time drinking and his tolerance was down. Clearly.

Day 2

By the second night, Jeremy was starting to realize the Foxes weren’t so different from any other college sports team if you took away the tragic backstories. Yeah, Jeremy would stick out if they all sat around and compared histories but - surprise, surprise - there wasn’t much talk about that.

Allison banned any talk of Exy and if she ever saw Neil and Kevin together she’d cock a brow and put her hands on her hips. Kevin would flip her off and she’d leave with a, “Fuck you. There are rules for a reason.”

It was making him miss his own team - the way they all fit together even when they shouldn’t.

Jean was there, but if anything he was part of the Kevin/Thea/Jean Former Ravens group or the Kevin-Neil-Jean-I-Was-Abused-By-Riko-Moriyama-and-Marked-For-His-Perfect-Court group.

He was different from a year ago when he’d first joined the Trojans but he still had his rough edges and hangups. And Jeremy saw it all.

Whether someone tapped his arm lightly without warning, or when he was flinching awake from a nightmare, Jeremy was there, trying to think of a way to calm Jean down without overstepping.

Jeremy had promised Laila he’d enjoy his spring break and be involved in all the fun things the Foxes did. Jeremy didn’t break promises. That’s why it was two in the morning and he was just starting to work on a study guide problem he’d left at five AM yesterday morning.

He groaned. Shots before homework wasn’t working for him.

“Jer,” Jean said, voice hoarse. “Come to bed.”

In his sluggish alcohol influenced state of mind, he almost thought Jean was asking him to come to his bed. His face flushed as he thought, What if Jean could read my mind and saw that?

He cleared his throat. “Soon. I’ll go to bed soon. I just need to finish at least three problems first.” Who was he kidding? He’d be lucky if he finished one.

“Okay,” Jean breathed, turning over and promptly falling back to sleep.

That was something that had surprised Jeremy. The way Jean could just sleep. He had expected his distrust to keep him awake at night. He guessed when you were tortured and worked to the bone, you had to take the sleep where you could get it.

Jean looked so cozy and peaceful, Jeremy wanted to be cozy and peaceful. He made the mistake of putting his head down on the desk.

He bolted awake when tentative fingers touched his arm.

Day 3

Jean flinched and Jeremy took a deep breath. “Sorry, sorry.”

“The others are going for a hike,” Jean said quietly though he offered a smile. “Apparently there’s a waterfall. Do you want to come?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeremy responded, yawning and stretching. When he looked back at Jean, Jean quickly averted his eyes.

“They’re meeting by the pool.”

Jean hurried out, closing the door behind him.

Jeremy stretched as he stood. There was a crick in his neck that was making him regret last night’s choices.

He picked up a shirt off the floor and sniffed it. What did it matter? They were gonna get sweaty on their hike. He tried to shove away the thought of what would Jean think and changed into the shirt.

“Jer-bear!” Nicky greeted him as he stepped outside.

He squinted at the sun. It was only eight in the morning but it was already too hot. Jeremy couldn’t wait to get to the waterfall.

As they approached the start of the trail, two figures raced down the hill toward them. Thea pushed Kevin and Kevin shouted, “Hey!”

The two of them passed the sign indicating which way to go around roughly the same time and immediately Jean said, “Thea.”

“No one asked,” Kevin said, panting, but he didn’t look upset. “Besides, she cheated.”

“Prove it,” Thea said, hands behind her head as she gulped air. 

“Rematch.”

Nicky said, “Neil would beat you both.”

“With those little legs?” Thea looked skeptical.

“Show ‘em, Neil.”

Neil shook his head. “I don’t feel like it.” He paused and looked at Andrew. “I don’t run anymore.”

The way he said it gave the words weight and Jeremy felt like he was missing something. Neil and Andrew’s teammates groaned and Andrew looked unimpressed.

“That was really sweet, Neil,” Matt said.

Neil winked at Matt and Andrew muttered something that had him grinning widely.

“If we’re done with the cheesefest ...” Allison stomped past everyone.

The waterfall was breathtaking. Jeremy couldn’t believe something could be so untouched by man.

“What took you guys so long?” Thea called as she dunked Neil under the water.

Despite what he’d said about not running anymore, Neil couldn’t resist Thea’s challenge and they’d run ahead of the group with Kevin.

As some of the others dived in, Jeremy’s eyes searched for Jean. He was leaning down so Renee could rub some sunscreen on his face. Jeremy tried to stuff down the jealousy bubbling in his chest.

This wasn’t him. He didn’t get jealous. Certainly not of one the nicest humans to ever exist touching his teammate who clearly didn’t mind. He was about to turn away when Jean pulled his shirt over his head.

And how could he have such negative feelings when Jean was so obviously enjoying his spring break? After the first day, Jean didn’t even hesitate in stripping down and letting the others see him shirtless. As his roommate, of course Jeremy had seen him without a shirt, but it had been months before his first reaction wasn’t to cover up his scars. In the locker rooms, he always changed as quickly as possible and usually with his locker open.

Here, with people who had trauma, too, and who didn’t bat an eye when Jean took his shirt off, he was able to stop thinking about it. It made Jeremy sad that he wasn’t able to give Jean that around their team.

Jean turned around and Jeremy tried to pretend he hadn’t been staring. When he stood in front of him, he asked, “You okay, Jer?”

Jeremy swallowed once. He felt his cheeks get hot but hoped his sunburn hid his blush. “Yeah, just, um, enjoying the view.” He inwardly groaned. Jean had seen him staring at him. He scratched his cheek.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Jean said. He clearly meant the trees and the water. Jeremy was both relieved and disappointed. “See you down there?”

“Yeah.”

Day 4

Jeremy put on his noise canceling headphones and opened his textbook. He had to get this reading done. He wouldn’t allow any more distractions until he finished.

Not even a sleepy looking Jean poking his head into their shared room.

He removed his headphones and gave him a questioning look.

“We’re putting on a movie. Wanna join?”

Jeremy sighed. “Can’t. I should have finished this chapter two days ago.” Jean bit his lip, then he closed the door. “What are you -?” He sat on the bed.

“I don’t really like movies that much.”

It was a lie. Jeremy knew it was a lie, but he wasn’t going to argue. He remembered the look of confusion on his face the first time he heard Jeremy ask what movie the rest of the team would like to watch. He gave Jean a small smile before putting his headphones back on.

An hour later, Jeremy was lying beside Jean, who was dozing, his head on an open book. His head lolled to the side and pressed into Jeremy’s arm.

Jeremy froze and tried to keep his breathing even.

His eyes followed the line of Jean’s jaw. He liked this side of Jean’s face best. It wasn’t tattooed and it had less scars. He still liked the other side of Jean’s face - he liked his whole face - it was just easier to not think about the circumstances that brought him to his team when he could only see the right half of Jean’s face.

Day 6

“No studying tonight!” Allison yelled.

“But -”

“Jean told us you study every night after we go to bed,” she said. “It’s your last night. Enjoy it!”

Jeremy shot a look over to Jean at the bar who - was smiling? He shrugged at Jeremy before tipping back a shot.

Allison had made a list and passed it around to anyone who wasn’t a freshman. Any time one of the freshmen said or did something on her list, the others had to do a shot.

From the looks of things, Nicky, Dan, and Matt had gotten an early start on the game. Allison whispered, “Don’t worry if you can’t remember who’s who. Just drink when the rest of us do.”

Jeremy looked around at the team, then into the pool with its night lights on and glowing balls floating on the surface.

Renee came over and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure no one drowns.”

When one of the freshmen girls made a pervy remark about Kevin, Nicky handed out shots. When one of the boys copped a feel off the girl and she pretended to be offended, he handed out two shots to every person. When a couple of the freshmen started making out, he got three shots - one for the act and two for the couple.

Things and time started to blur and Jeremy had no idea how much time had passed. They’d all eventually moved into the large house to get warm. Kevin and Thea had disappeared a while ago as had Aaron, Katelyn, and a few of the freshmen. Now Neil and Andrew were heading upstairs.

The music was loud, the lights looked brighter, and Jean was laughing. It almost made Jeremy smile, but then he realized he was laughing at something Renee had said. He wrapped an arm around her and leaned down so she could whisper something in his ear.

Jeremy left.

It was too difficult to watch and he didn’t want to say or do anything to embarrass himself. Allison grabbed his arm in the hallway and said, “You better not be going off to study!”

“No!” he shouted back. “I just need to lie down for a bit.”

Once he made it to his room and shut the door, it seemed uncomfortably quiet. He flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

Jeremy was generally a positive person, but as he lay there, thoughts of Jean and Renee swirled around his mind. They said they weren’t dating. They said they’d never dated, but the whole week it was almost like they were a couple. They went everywhere together and partnered for every game.

He fell asleep, his mind seeped in jealousy and booze.

He woke up when Jean stumbled into the room, holding something in his hand. He vaguely registered music still pounding in the hallway.

“Hey, sorry,” Jean tried to whisper. “Everyone is asleep.”

“Okay?” Jeremy said.

“Renee made cookies.” He offered out his hand.

Jeremy might have sneered. “Of course she did. She’s amazing. She’s an amazing person. She’s an amazing goalie. I bet she’s an amazing girlfriend.” He was still drunk. It probably hadn’t been that long since he fell asleep.

Jean looked confused and timid. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Jeremy muttered, suddenly aware of how he must’ve come across.

“Are you jealous of Renee?” he asked, lips quirking.

Jeremy sighed and fell back on his pillows. “What? No ...” He looked over at Jean. “Okay, fine.”

Jean stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder at Jeremy. “Why?”

“Nothing,” he murmured, cheeks feeling hot.

“I’ve not been a good friend,” Jean said. “You’re just so friendly and easy going that I didn’t think you wanted me hanging around the whole week. And I figured Kevin would be taking up at least half your time.”

“That’s not - I mean -” Jeremy was at a loss for words.

“Then what is it?”

He threw an arm over his face, struggling to get a word out. 

“You guys are so close,” he finally said. “I guess I just want to be - close with you.”

“We’re roommates,” Jean said. “We are close. There’s no one I trust more.”

Jeremy sat up. “No, I’m gay.”

He shrugged. “Okay ... I figured -”

“I have these ... feelings ... for you ...” He knew his expression was pained and sad but he couldn’t help it. He had probably just ruined things between them.

“Why didn’t you just say that?” Jean asked as Jeremy’s head lowered and he shrugged. “I think I have ... feelings for you, too.”

Jeremy’s mouth fell open. “Really?”

Jean shrugged again, feeling self-conscious. “Yes. It’s why I’ve been hanging out with Renee so much this week - to get her advice about you.”

“I really want to kiss you,” he said in a rush. “I mean, if that’s okay.”

Jean held his breath, then nodded. Jeremy moved closer. Jean blurted, “I just - um, I need to set clear boundaries and I need you to respect them.”

“Of course,” Jeremy breathed. He watched as he bit his lip, looking like there was more he wanted to say. “Hey, it’s okay. You can set all the boundaries you need.”

Jean took a shaky breath. “I need you to take things slow,” he said, voice quiet. “I need you to be patient and not get mad if I can’t do - if I can’t -”

“Hey, Jean, you don’t need to do anything, alright?” Jeremy said. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” He reached out to take Jean’s hand but Jean flinched.

“I’m sorry, I -”

Jeremy held up his hand this time and slowly moved to grab Jean’s hand so he had time to move away if he wanted to.

“I’ve never - I don’t mean to flinch. It’s not you.” He lay down next to Jeremy and stared at the ceiling. Their arms were pressed together from their shoulders to their fingertips and after a minute, it started to feel comfortable. “I’ve talked about you in therapy because I wasn’t sure about what my feelings meant.”

He took long pauses between sentences but Jeremy didn’t dare to interject.

“Nothing that ever happened in my life ever was consensual.” Hard swallow. “Until you and the Trojans. I don’t know if I’m gay, honestly. I’m still figuring things out. Feeling anything confuses me. You’re the only person who offers something to me and lets me choose to accept it.”

“You noticed?” Jeremy was shocked.

“Of course I noticed. I was confused - at first - but it’s become everything to me. If this is too complicated I understand ... but I hope - I don’t know.” He sighed, frustrated with himself and everything leading up to this point that was making him unable to trust his own feelings.

Jeremy bit his lip. “I’m here. You’re worth the wait, Jean. I want to be the one you can figure things out with.”

Jean sat up. “What if - what if I’m wrong about this?” His voice was breathy and when Jeremy met his eyes, they were wet.

“Then we’ll stop and we’ll continue being friends.”

“I don’t even know if I can try.” Every fear seemed to be coming to the front of his mind. “What if I’m wasting your time?”

Jeremy sat up. “I don’t care. Can I hold your hand again?” Jean nodded. “If after everything, you decide you’re not gay, or you’re not into me, it will all be fine. I could never hold it against you. I care about you and nothing will ever stop me from caring about you.”

Jean’s gaze on his face was intense but Jeremy tried to keep an open expression. He meant what he said and he needed Jean to know that everything would be okay.

“Can I kiss you?”

Jeremy felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. “Please.”

Day 7

As they sat on the boat that would take them back to the mainland Jeremy couldn’t help the smile on his face. Jean was next to him, arm pressed right against his.

He looked behind him to where Neil and Andrew sat, space between them but hands linked on the seat. Andrew was looking off in the distance.

Jeremy opened his mouth to ask Neil a question when Andrew’s head snapped in his direction. “It’s 8:30, I have a hangover and you’re annoying me.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“That smile on your face is making my hangover worse.”

Jean turned around. “Get used to it.”

1 Kevin/Thea 2 Neil/Andrew 3 Dan/Matt 4 Allison/Renee 5 Jean/Jeremy 6 Aaron/Katelyn 7 2 freshmen 8 2 freshmen 9 2 freshmen 10 Nicky

[the-great-imagines-of-1812]

Through The Years pt. 5 (Bucky Barnes x fem!Stark! Reader)

A/N: feedback is appreciated, as always!

the tags: @the-romanian-is-bae @a-girl-who-loves-disney

the warnings: torture (nothing too intense, but still.), explosions, wounds, captivity, angst, fluff at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943.

KRAUSBERG, AUSTRIA. A HYDRA BASE. 

4:00  HOURS. 

“Vake up! Vake up!” Was the first thing you heard when you woke up, laying strapped down on a cold metal table, in a dark room, with a light shoved right in your face. A thick German accent. 

Oh no. 

You tried to open your eyes to the best of your ability, albeit they still hurt and your whole body stung with pain beyond imaginable. “Hurry up!”

A harsh slap to your face.

If this didn’t make you open your eyes, you feared what was next. As you opened them, the light which was once harsh on your face now illuminated a good part of the room. Despite the pain in your neck, you were able to turn your head and see-

Bucky. 

No. You wouldn’t let them hurt him. “Bucky, baby please- are you okay?” you were able to say through tears, feeling a sob on it’s way. He doesn’t seem to hear you at first. It’s as if he’s blanked out on reality, in another world. He then proceeds to snap out of it, turning his head to you. He too is strapped to the table.

He lets out a cough before letting out a relieved breath. “Doll, hey.” he seems to lose his breath for a second. “I won’t let them hurt you, darlin’. I promise.”

“I should be saying that Barne-”

“SILENCE! Project Survival has begun.” the man said. Turning your head as much as the pain allowed you to, you were able to catch a glimpse of him. He was an average height, with some hair on his head and round glasses.

Arnim Zola. The one and only right hand man to Johann Schmidt. You had heard about him before, while in several briefings with Erksine. That was now in the past. He was no longer a name and a photograph. He was a reality. 

Laying your head back once again, you thought of Howard. What would he do without you? Would he be able to rest at night knowing this is how you met your end?

No. You couldn’t. As he said, many more birthdays to celebrate. 

Shifting uncomfortably under your armor and clothes, your breathing picked up and went short as Zola rolled a table between you and Bucky, full of bottles and syringes, scissors and scalpels.

He fills a syringe up with a blue liquid from a bottle. He then proceeds to shine it in the light. “Who shall go virst, hmm? The lady-” he looks at you. “Or ze gentleman?” 

“NO! i won’t let you hurt her. Give it to-” Bucky said, desperately; his eyes darting between you and Zola.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Barnes, I thought you knew better. Ladies first, is that not correct?”

Zola then proceeds to walk over to the end of your table with your head on it, grabbing it by the chin and setting it straight so it won’t move.

“Just a little zomehting, hmm?” a pause. “To enhance that little ability of yours.” 

Bucky’s eyes widen. “W-What ability, sweetheart? What’s he talking about?”

There are no more words from any three of you and Zola plunges the needle into your neck in such a harsh manner, making you scream and causing your whole body to thrash. It causes your whole body to go numb and a pounding headache to arise. 

The last thing you hear before you black out is Bucky yelling a “NO!” and Zola laughing. 

This was going to be a long day. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943.

KRAUSBERG, AUSTRIA. A HYDRA BASE.

12:00 HOURS. 

You wake up slowly and easily this time, the sunshine on your face. The room was quiet this time. No Zola, no harsh light in your face. Just a numb body and a migraine. 

The straps didn’t hurt anymore, for some reason. 

You turned your head to see Bucky, also waking up from his -chemical- induced sleep. “What’d they do to you, Buck?” He turns his head. The tear marks are evident on his face. He sighs. 

“More like what didn’t they do? I feel awful.”

This brought tears to your eyes. “My feet hurt so much. I can’t feel much else. It’s pretty numb.  Buck. I’m scared.” He stares back at you, tears welling up in his eyes. All he wanted was to keep you safe. If it were up to him, he’d whisk you off to Brooklyn, right now. Maybe you could meet his Ma, Rebecca too. You could be the best of friends.

He would take you dancing, after you’d both reveal the relationship to Howard. He’d be mad at first, but then able to see eye to eye with you. he would dress in his tailored  navy blue suit, only one he had. Oh, and you’d be wearing that stunning sky blue dress you told him about once, with a red lip and victory curls. Absolutely beautiful. 

He thought about it more. He’d pick you up exactly at 9′o’clock, your brother greets him at the door. You’re still getting ready, and Howard reluctantly invites him in. You’d eventually come down the stairs, a little bit out of breath, but stunning nonetheless. Howard is happy, but he’d never show it in front of Bucky.

You’d dance cheek to cheek. He brings you home exactly at 10:30, like Howard instructed demanded. He’d kiss just your cheek, knowing Howard is probably watching, probably holding a bat. Made of wood. Or maybe metal. Or maybe both. You’d go up to your room after saying goodnight. You’d put on a nightgown, and just before putting your hair in rollers you’d hear him climbing up the fire escape to give you a proper kiss, just as Howard walks in with the bat in hand, ready to shoo him off.

It would be perfect, albeit a bit chaotic. But there be peace and no pain, and that’s what mattered. 

The tears stream down his face. “Darlin’, what was he talking about? What ability? Enhance what?”

Your eyes start to tear up as well. “I’m sorry! I was so scared!” You break and before you know it, you’re crying so much it shakes the table. 

“Doll, you don’t have to tell me now-”

“I want to. I should’ve a long time ago. It’s called Telekinesis. I can move objects with my mind, if I focus. But it’s still hard sometimes. I don’t know what he did to me!” 

“Hey, sugar. Oh, my love. It’s alright. We’re going to be just fine, I promise ya. Just close those eyes for me. I’ll still be here when you wake up, alright?”

Nodding, you laid your head back and relaxed, as much as you possibly could. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943

THE ALLIED POWERS’ BASE, ITALY.

19:00 HOURS. 

The thunder was as loud as gunshots and could probably be heard all the way in Spain. But the rain made the mood all the more bitter as Steve sat drawing in a little sketchbook. 

“Hello Steve.”

Steve, hearing Peggy, turns around. She seems sad, tear marks on her face. “Hi. What are you doing here? Is everything okay, if you don’t mind me asking?”

She quickly wipes her face with her hands. “Officially, I’m not here at all.That was quite the performannce.”

Dodging his head back to the ground, “Yeah. I had to improvise a bit. Most of the crowds are a bit - are a bit more.. twelve-.” He looks back up at her. “But you’re dodging the question. Are you ok?”

“Schmidt sent forces out to Azzano. There were two-hundred men went up against him, led by newly appointed Lieutenant General Y/N Stark. Less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the 107th. The rest where either killed or captured, we don’t know.”

Steve’s heard perks up. “The 107th?”

Both hiding under Peggy’s coat, they ran to General Phillip's tent under the rain. They walk in to a frantic man, talking to the General so fast, he might just run out of words. 

“Captain Andrews, I’ll need you to calm down.” he turns to Peggy and Steve “Ah, the Star-Spangled man with a plan. What’re you up to?”

“I need the casualty list from Azzano. I just need one name-”

“You’re not one to give me orders, son.”

Both men are interrupted by Captain Andrews. “Excuse me sir, my name is Tommy Andrews. I-I’m a Captain, I serve in Lieutenant General Stark’s Company.”

Steve looks at him with a range of emotion on his face. “Hello, Captain. What can you tell me?”

Tommy takes a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. “We had just set up camp in Bordeaux, resting up before invading Azzano. It wasn’t time yet. but we were too late, and we were ambushed. The Lieutenant General told me to run away with as many men as I could. Told me to contact General Philips. Both the Lieutenant General and your friend, Sergeant Barnes were captured. I’m sorry.”

Steve shook his head. “There’s no need to be sorry, Captain. You did what was right, following your orders.” he turns to General Phillips. 

“Since when is Stark a Lieutenant General? When did he-”

“She. His sister. Not him, Rogers.”  General Phillips cut him off. 

“But how-. Look. just give me their names. Tell me their alive. B-A-R-N-E-S and S-T-A-R-”

“I’ve signed more condolence letters than I care to count. Her brother is devastated. But Barnes does sound familiar. I’m sorry, son.” 

“General, but what about a rescue mission?”

“They are 30 miles behind enemy lines. In some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. Possibly in the world. We’d lose more men than we’d save. You wouldn’t understand, chorus girl.”

“I understand just fine.”

“Then go understand somewhere else. From what I know, you’ve got somewhere to be in 30 minutes.”

“I do.”

Phillips starts to say something, but Steve already took off, Peggy behind him.

 While he’s putting on a jacket and helmet, Peggy asks “Are you insane?! What’re are you going to do, walk to Austria? And as the General said, they’re probably dead!”

“These are my friends, Peggy!”

“You don’t think I- Y/N’s been my best friend since secondary school. She’s the older sister I always wished I had! It like losing family, Steve!”

Steve walks out of the tent, loading his stuff in the car. “You told me before I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

There’s a silence as the pair stare into each others eyes. “Every word, Steve. But let me help you.”

~~~~~~~

On the plane, Peggy is showing Steve a map, where he’s supposed to be headed. “The HYDRA camp is in Krausberg, between these two mountains.”

“We should be able to drop you off right at their doorstep.” Howard said from the cockpit, in a cold tone. 

“Just get me as close as you can. Howard, how are you holding up?”

“Listen here Rogers. You don’t talk about her, don’t think about her. You didn’t know her like I did.” 

“Sir, with all due respect, she was my friend-”

“WELL SHE WAS MY SISTER! She was all I had left. Now if you don’t bring back her Company and ease that poor Captain Andrews’s soul, I will make sure the rest of your life is miserable.”

There’s a sad silence throughout the plane. Peggy speaks up. “Stark is the best civilian pilot I’ve ever seen. He’s brave enough to man this airspace. We’re lucky to have him.”

Gunshots are heard, and the trio knows they’ve arrived at the destination. Steve approaches the door, ready to jump out. “When I land, you turn this thing around and go back, understood?”

“You can’t give me orders!”

“Like hell I can, I’m Captain!”

~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943.

KRAUSBERG, AUSTRIA. A HYDRA BASE.

20:00 HOURS. 

“Bucky-Bucky, wake up!” you say, trying to get him to open his eyes. He does, but once again stares off into space. Once he hears you crying, he turns his head. “Hi. Are you okay? How much does it hurt, sweetheart?” 

“It’s almost nothing. Something is different, although. I can feel it.” you said, through sobs.

“We’re gonna be alright. You know that, right?”

You take a deep breath and nod. “You think we’re gettin’ out of here?”

“We can only hope.”

You close your eyes and tilt your head back as gunshots are heard outside, and someone running down the corridor. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the narrow corridor, Steve hears a groan and cries from the ‘operating’ room the soldiers had told him about. Looking both ways before going in, he enters the room slowly, with caution. As he pears in further, he sees to people strapped to tables. He make his way closer to them, and there laying there- 

Bucky, Bucky and you.

He walks over to undo the straps on Bucky’s body. “Hey, Hey Buck, it’s me.”

Bucky is able to focus his eyes on Steve “Hey. Steve”. Laying a hand on his shoulder, Steve whispered “I thought you were dead.”

“And I thought you were smaller. Please, I need to help her, Stevie. She’s hurting.”

Realizing who he’s talking about, he walks over to you, laying conscious on the table and undoing the straps. You come to and turn to see Steve and Bucky. 

The crackle on gunshots is heard outside. The three of you flinch.

You are able to support yourself a bit better now. “Steve, hi. How are you doing? You ok?”

“Stark, I should be the one asking you that. Let’s get out of here.”

“Stevie, how do you two know each other? What happened to you?”

“I joined the army, all thanks to her and her Howard Stark.”

 “You’ll have to tell me about it later.. Did it hurt? Is it permanent?”

“Only a little Buck. And yes, permanent so far. I hope it is.”

Coming from outside, the three of you hear an explosion, causing the three of you two walk down the hallway as quick as possible. You make it to the bridge above the power plants, and the three of you climb to the top, hoping to find an escape route, and quickly. 

But like everything else today, it didn’t go as planned, as a thick German accent cut through the air. “Captain America! How exciting! I am a great fan of your films!” Schmidt said, being followed by Zola. 

You whimper in fear, and as Bucky hears this, quickly tucks you into his side, stroking your hair in an attempt to calm you down.  “Y/N Stark! I am a very very big fan of your work! Hydra would be blessed to have someone like you.”

Schmidt turns to Steve again. “So, looks like Dr. Erksine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but impressive. I have to give it to him.”

Steve then proceeds to wack Schmidt across the face with his shield, which results in him knocking Steve back with a swift punch. Now on opposite sides of the bridge, Zola pushed a button that made both sides seperate from one another. 

“You see, no matter what lies Erksine told you-”

You cling to Bucky in fear. 

“I was his greatest success!” Schmidt then proceeds to take the skin off his face, to reveal a new, bald, red skull. “You pretend to be a simple soldier, Captain. But you refuse to admit that we’ve left humanity behind! Unlike you, I choose to embrace it proudly. Without fear!” Zola and Schmidt then proceed to go into an elevator, that carried them far away from the two of you. 

There are more explosions from below, and Steve leads you both to climb another set of stairs. On this bridge, you encounter a narrow beam made of iron. The only thing separating you from the other side. “Okay one at a time.” 

Steve looks between the two of you. “Y/N you first, please.” You shake your head. “I’ll be able to make it anyways. I have the serum. It’s in my blood.”

“That’s a story for another time. Bucky, i guess it’s you then.”

“No! I can’t just cross to the other side and leave here here!”

“Bucky, please just do it! I’ll be fine.” He proceeds to give you a quick peck on the lips and Steve helps him mount the beam. The beam creaks and falls down as he walks, but luckily he jumps just in time. 

“Go on Buck! Get out of here!” you yell.

“No! Not without you guys!”

You back up to the side as Steve makes a brave jump across the bridge. That only leaves you on the platform. “C’mon! You can do it! I Know you can!” 

Taking a deep breath, you unbutton your uniform coat, revealing the chest plate of your armor. Whipping out  a sword, you throw it to the other side and jump.

The sword catches you in mid air, as one hand stuck to the railing. Steve and Bucky help you up.

“Let’s get out of here, boys.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 4TH, 1943

THE ALLIED POWERS’ BASE, ITALY. 

9:00 HOURS.

“I took a chance on you, Agent Carter. Now not only is America’s golden boy dead, but my Lieutenant General too. All because you had a crush.” General Phillips said. 

“It wasn’t that, General. I believed in him.”

“I hope it’s a comfort to you when they shut this division down, Agent.” 

Outside, there were a bunch of soldiers running. Not from, but to. “What in the hell is going on out there?” General Philips seemed to ask himself, as he made his way outside, Peggy following him. 

There marching right beside Steve, were you and Bucky. The 107th had gone through hell, and made it back alive. Soldiers started cheering and clapping, approaching the group. There was even one who exclaimed “Look who it is!”

Howard hears all the commotion from his tent and goes outside to see what’s going on. He stands behind Peggy, hoping to catch a glimpse of what caused so much ruckus in the once silent base. It couldn’t be. You were supposed to be dead. 

“General Philips, these men need medical attention.” said Steve, as you and Bucky stood at his side. Your turn to Bucky. “Told you we’d make it out, darlin’?” 

“Maybe I should trust you more, Buck. Thank you.” You said as he locked his eyes with your own, wrapping his arm around you. “You better. I plan on having you around for a long time, sweetheart.”

“Really, now? I sure hope so, Buck. You’re my person.”

A smirk makes it’s way onto his face. “I’m your person? Well, then. I ain’t planning to let you go forever plus a day. I’m so happy to have you.”

“You better do something about it, wise-guy. I see Colonel Johnson eyeing me from the tactical tent-”

Before you can finish your sentence, he swoops you up, pulling you into a deep kiss as he lifts you off the ground and gives you a small spin. 

“Barnes you are someth-” 

“Y/N!” you and Bucky immediately pulled away from each other, and you turned to see Howard right in front of you. “Y/N! oh my god!”

You start to fiddle with the buttons on your uniform. “Howard! I’m sorry you had to find out like this-”

“Nonsense! I’m just glad your home. Even if it involved getting with- him” Howard said, making a hand gesture towards Bucky, who was behind you, cowering in fear. You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Howwie. I hate to make  you worry.”

“Well, I also hate that you make me worried, but it isin’t your fault” You pull away from Howard’s hug and Bucky holds out his hand.

“I’d like to formally introduce myself, Mr. Stark. You haven’t let me introduce myself. My names James Buchanan Barnes, sir. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, without you threatening to fight me.”

Howard, hesitantly holding his hand out, “The pleasure is all mine, James. I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. All I want is to see my sister happy. Which, you obviously do so- maybe I won’t chase you with a bat.”

“Howard!”

He lets out a laugh. “I only want the best for you, you know that. Now, I’m pretty sure Phillips wants you to give a debriefing.”

You nod. “See you later, Buck?”

“You know it, darlin’” he walks off.

“He loves you, you know. You can tell from his eyes. You’ll always be able to tell from someone’s eyes, sis.”

“What would you know? I be t you don’t even remember that one girl’s name!” you said, crossing your arms. 

“Of course I remember. Maria, from New Haven. moved here to learn how to play piano. You’ve got to meet her sometime.” 

“I hope so. Give her the sibling talk?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.” you said, walking away. 

“Wait-wait. This conversation isn't over!” he chases after you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a long one, good god. anyways i spent an entire day on it so please show it some love. <3

- Talya

[paralleljulieverse]

An Angel from Heaven Come to See Us: Darling Lili Turns 50

This week fifty years ago, Darling Lili -- the last of the big Julie Andrews screen musicals of the 1960s -- had its long-delayed World Premiere at Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome on 23 June 1970. 

The event marked the symbolic endpoint of a three-plus-year marathon in which the ill-fated production was beset by an endless stream of problems and delays from inclement weather and union pickets on location to studio takeovers and shady refinancing deals (Bart, 63-72; Dick, 146-48; Wasson, 146-48). This litany of setbacks saw the film’s already sizeable budget blowout to era-record levels estimated anywhere, depending on who you spoke to, between $14-25mill. (Warga, C-20; Wedman, 7-A; Kennedy, 175-77). Egos clashed, tempers frayed and recriminations flew with writer-director, Blake Edwards, blaming Paramount Pictures for imposing impossible demands, and studio executives firing back counter-accusations of reckless indulgence and profligacy (Oldham, 24-25; 44-45). 

That this highly publicised drama played out against the backdrop of the greatest economic downturn to hit Hollywood in half a century garnered Darling Lili an unenviable advance reputation as “the archetypal flop among big budget Hollywood productions” (Oldham, 44). “Rarely has so much bad word of mouth preceded a picture,” wrote the Saturday Review, “As the shooting schedule increased, as the costs mounted, everyone was certain that Darling Lili would prove to be a landmark disaster” (Knight 22). Another widely syndicated newspaper article dubbed it, “The Most Maligned Movie Ever,” prompting Blake Edwards to fume: “I’ve never known of an important picture in production so talked about, whispered about, and, yes, lied about as Darling Lili” (Manners, B5).

Adding fuel to widespread perceptions of the film as a legendary bomb in the making, the release of Darling Lili was held up for over a year by nervous studio execs. By 1969, Paramount had more big budget roadshow product in the pipelines than any other Hollywood studio (“Par’s Big”, 3). Panicked by the repeated failure of roadshow releases, in general, and the growing cultural backlash against big budgeted musicals, in particular, the studio feared they were “on the verge of an unprecedented financial disaster” and vacillated over how to proceed (Farber, 3). They ordered competing rounds of edits to the film, taking material out to secure a G-rating, then reinserting other material in an effort to broaden appeal (Manners, B5; “Par’s Lili Rated G”,5). There were even rumours the film might not get a release at all. It is “hiding somewhere” and seems to have “just evaporated” noted one newspaper report in late-1969 (Gussow, 62; Benchley, 9).

In December, Paramount finally held two sneak test screenings of Darling Lili in Oklahoma City and Kansas City which proved sufficiently positive for the studio to green-light release (“Kansas”, C2). After the test screenings, Robert Evans, production chief at Paramount and longtime vocal critic of Blake Edwards’s direction of the film, sounded an uncharacteristically upbeat note. “At the end of the film, there was a standing ovation,” he enthused, “and almost all the patrons stopped in the lobby to fill in comments cards...term[ing] Darling Lili as excellent, with special acclaim for both Julie Andrews and Rock Hudson” (Muir, 2-S). 

In January 1970, it was announced that Darling Lili would premiere that summer as a hardticket attraction at New York’s Radio City Music Hall (”Par Gets”, 3). The following month, a series of exhibitor previews was held in five major US cities but, in a telling sign the studio still harboured reservations about the film, the trade press was pointedly excluded from all advance screenings ("Not Ready”, 6). This same lingering disquiet resulted in a radically scaled back approach to the film’s release and marketing. 

Originally planned as a reserved-seat roadshow attraction, Darling Lili was ultimately repositioned by Paramount as part of what they called their “Big Summer Playoff,” a package of eight films given saturation releases during the summer off-season starting in June (“Paramount’s Summer Playoff”, 5). Only New York and Los Angeles would screen the film as a 70mm reserved-seat attraction; elsewhere, the plan was for the “pic to quickly saturate every major and minor market with single-house firstruns and key city multiples” (ibid.). In an era when studios typically gave their top films staggered releases and only ever issued B-product or second-runs widely during the quiet summer months, this new-style release strategy had a decided air of dump-it-and-run desperation. 

The apparent lack of care and finesse in the release of Lili did not go unnoticed. “Darling Lili undoubtedly rank[s] among the unusual summer attractions,” commented one newspaper article, “since one would expect to see th[is] multi-million dollar production around holiday time” (Sar, 4-B). Another bluntly opined that Paramount “seems to have dumped the expensive movie rather than spend any more on it” (Taylor, 21-E). Even Julie, normally the soul of diplomatic discretion in such matters, expressed public dismay at the studio’s handling of the film’s release:

“Three weeks before the opening, there was no advertising campaign. None whatsoever. Paramount didn’t seem to know how it was going to sell the picture--or if. I simply can’t understand an attitude like that” (Thomas, 13).

The sudden shift to a summer saturation release also meant the film’s premiere had to be rescheduled as New York’s Radio City Music Hall wasn’t available till July. In late-May, a matter of mere weeks before the film was set to bow, Paramount announced Darling Lili would now make its world premiere at the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood on June 23 before rolling out nationwide the following day (“‘Darling Lili’ to Premiere,” W-2). The New York premiere, meanwhile, would remain at the Music Hall but delayed a full month after the rest of the country.

Putting on a brave face, Julie and Blake did their best to launch their film. On June 18, they attended a special press preview and celebrity reception hosted by Robert Evans and his then partner, Ali McGraw, at the Director’s Guild Theatre (Sar, 24-A). Dressed in a modish psychedelic Pucci pantsuit -- which fans of Julie-trivia will note was a recycled outfit from her recent NBC TV special with Harry Belafonte -- Julie looked relaxed and radiant or, as one columnist put it, “peachy dandy in her wild patterned party pants” (Browning, 2-13). At the after-show reception, she and Blake mingled warmly with a host of Tinseltown notables including Edward G. Robinson, James Garner, Walter Matthau, George Peppard, Raquel Welch, Sally Field, Dyan Cannon, and Peter Graves (ibid).

The following week, Julie and Blake were back for the premiere proper at the Cinerama Dome on 23 June. Dressed to kill in a sleek beaded cocktail gown, Julie posed for press shots on the red carpet with Blake, Robert Evans and Ali McGraw, and co-star Rock Hudson who attended with longtime friend and agent, Flo Allen. Sponsored by the Southern Californian chapter of VIMS, Volunteers in Multiple Sclerosis, the premiere attracted a capacity crowd with an invitation-only champagne supper held at the theatre after the screening (“Premiere”, IV-8) .

For all the old-school Hollywood trappings of the premiere, the American roll-out of Darling Lili was afforded little sense of showmanship or distinction. The Cinerama Dome would be the film’s only fully reserved-seat roadshow presentation (“’Darling Lili’s’ One Reserve,” 7). The film’s run at New York’s Radio City Music Hall -- which will likely be the subject of another post next month, time permitting -- was another exception but it had a hybrid mix of partial reserved and general admission. Elsewhere, the film was released in what could only be described as a woefully slipshod manner. 

The day after the World Premiere, Lili was issued simultaneously to an idiosyncratic assortment of theatres and even drive-ins across the United States including such out-of-the-way places as Lubbock, Texas; Hattiesburg, Mississippi; and Mason City, Iowa. Conversely, several major metropolitan markets didn’t get the film till much later, and some didn’t show it at all. When the film ran it was often booked for a flying season of a week or two -- in some instances, just a few days -- and given little promotion or build-up.

On a PR trip to San Francisco, Blake Edwards was reportedly incensed to discover that Lili was being shown at a local theatre on a double-bill with The Lawyer, an R-rated crime drama (Caen, 6-B). But this was far from an isolated instance. A survey of newspaper advertising from the era shows that, throughout this initial release period, Darling Lili was widely double-billed in US theatres with a range of questionable screen-mates including Downhill Racer, True Grit, Norwood, The Sterile Cuckoo, and Lady in Cement to name a few.

Much like the film’s chequered release pattern, reviews of Darling Lili were sharply mixed. Contrary to the apocalyptic predictions, though, there were surprisingly few outright pans and quite a number of good, even glowing, notices--certainly enough to furnish choice grabs for newspaper ads. Moreover, a common refrain among even lukewarm crits was that the film was far from the disaster everyone anticipated:

“Darling Lili [is] the musical comedy a lot of people have been expecting to be a bomb, but which turns out to be a quite likeable movie” (Crittenden, D-10).

“When a movie becomes notorious like this, everyone expects it to be an unredeeming dud...I’m relieved to say Darling Lili is certainly nobody’s bomb” (Stewart, 28) 

“[E]veryone was certain that Darling Lili would prove to be a landmark disaster. Happily, the opposite seems to be the case...it is definitely, joyously, what the industry likes to call an ‘audience picture’ (Knight, 22).

While many reviewers found aspects of the film wanting, they were mostly full of praise for Julie:

“Miss Andrews has, I think, never looked better, warmer or more emotionally mature, nor has she sounded better. The irony is that she projects a richness which is wasted here. It’s like getting Horowitz to play Chopsticks” (Champlin, IV-1).

“Andrews...is one of the last of the great English music-hallmarks. She can sing effortlessly, make a mug or a moue with equal facility, throw away a line and reel it back in with the best—when she is given half a chance. Her latest, Darling Lili, is only a quarter of a chance (Kanfer, 78). 

“In Darling Lili...Julie Andrews is the most pleasant actress any audience ever had and that’s what counts...The picture’s weaknesses are Hudson and the war...But I think Julie Andrews is enough” (Geurink, 6-T).

“The best way to enjoy Darling Lili is to look upon it as escape fare [with] Miss Andrews’ golden voice for listening pleasure...While she deserves something much better than her role in Darling Lili, Julie Andrews...is still an out and out professional” (Blakley, 6-1).

“Miss Andrews...is absolutely perfectly suited to the title role. Her voice, her mannerisms, her beauty and her obvious delight with the entire project pay off in one of the finest performances of her career” (Fanning, 17).

“The film’s bright moments belong to Miss Andrews. She is a complete entertainer, and tho [sic] she is center stage for nearly the entire film, one never tires of her pure voice and intelligent acting” (Siskel, 12).

Alas, the better-than-expected reviews were not enough to save Darling Lili commercially. By the end of its domestic run, the film had earned a meagre $3.2mill in rentals, placing it 37th in Variety’s list of annual box-office rankings for 1970 (“US Films,” 184). Instructively, the film posted its best returns at the two theatres where it was exhibited with some modicum of prestige showmanship: the Cinerama Dome and Radio City Music Hall. In the case of the latter, Lili actually broke house records for a non-holiday release (“Radio City,” 12). Combined, these two venues accounted for over a third of the film’s entire North American boxoffice grosses. It’s a curious footnote to the whole sorry saga of Darling Lili which does suggest that, while the film would likely never have been a hit, it could certainly have done much better had its distribution and exhibition been more carefully managed. But that is a discussion for another time and another post...

Sources:

Bart, Peter. Infamous Players: A Tale of Movies, the Mob (and Sex). New York: Hachette, 2011.

Benchley, Peter. “1969 A Watershed Year for Motion Picture Industry.” Journal Gazette. 6 January 1970: 9.

Blakley, Thomas. “Julie Andrews Eyes a New Start.” Pittsburgh Press. 28 June 1970: 6-1.

Browning, Norma Lee. “Hollywood Today: Julie’s Reception.” Chicago Tribune. 22 June 1970: B-13.

Caen, Herb. “It’s News to Me.” Hartford Sentinel. 5 August 1970: 6-B.

Canby, Vincent. “Is Hollywood in Hot Water?” New York Times. 9 November 1969: D1, D37.

Champlin, Charles. “Movie Review: ‘Darling Lili’ Has World War I Setting.” Los Angeles Times. 24 June 1970: IV-1, 13.

Crittenden, John. “’Darling Lili’ Surprises by Being Very Pleasant.” The Record. 24 July 1970: D-10.

“’Darling Lili’ to Premiere in Hollywood June 24.” Boxoffice. 25 May 1970: W2.

“’Darling Lili’s’ One Reserve Seat Date.” Variety. 3 June 1970: 7.

Dick, Bernard F. Engulfed: The Death of Paramount Pictures and the Birth of Corporate Hollywood. Louisville, KY: University of Kentucky Press, 2015.

Fanning, Win. “The New Film: Andrews, Hudson in ‘Darling Lili’ at Squirrel Hill.” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 25 June 1970: 17. 

Farber, Stephen. “End of the Road?” Film Quarterly. 23: 2. Winter 1969-70: 3-16.

Geurink, Bob. “Julie’s Pretty Darling in ‘Lili’.” Atlanta Constitution. 11 July 1970: 6-T.

Gussow, Mel. “Excitement Fills Premier of ‘Dolly’: But Air of Festivity Belies Future of Movie Musicals.” New York Times. 18 December 1969: 62.

Higham, Charles. “Turmoil in Film City.” Sydney Morning Herald - Weekend Magazine. 25 May 1969: 19.

Holston, Kim R. Movie Roadshows: A History and Filmography of Reserved-Seat Limited Showings, 1911-1973. Jefferson, NC: McFarlane and Co, 2013.

Kanfer, Stefan. “Cinema: Quarter Chance.” Time. 96: 4. 27 July 1970: 78.

“Kansas City.” Boxoffice. 22 December 1969: C2.

Knight, Arthur. “How Darling was My Lili.” Saturday Review. 18 July, 1970: 22.

Krämer, Peter. The New Hollywood: From Bonnie and Clyde to Star Wars. London: Wallflower, 2005.

Manners, Dorothy. “The Most Maligned Movie Ever.” San Francisco Examiner. 15 March 1970: B5.

Mills, James. “Why Should He Have it?” Life. 7 Match 1969: 63-76.

Muir, Florabel. “Hollywood: It Snowed Customers.” Daily News. 21 December 1969: 2S.

“Not Ready for Trades But Exhibs See ‘Lili’.” Variety. 28 January 1970: 6.

Oldham, Gabriella, ed. Blake Edwards: Interviews. Jackson: University of Mississippi Press, 2018.

“Par Gets Hall’s Summer Spot for its ‘Darling Lili’.” Variety. 21 January 1970: 3.

“Para. Sets Preview Series in Five Cities for ‘Lili’.” Boxoffice. 26 January 1970: 10.

“Paramount’s Summer Playoff Strategy: 5,000 Bookings for Eight Major Films.” Variety. 3 June 1970: 5.

“Par’s Big Roadshow Splash.” Variety. 25 June 1969: 3.

“Par’s Lili Rated G.” Variety. 24 September 1969: 5.

“Premiere.” Los Angeles Times. 25 June 1970: IV-8.

“Radio City Music Hall’s All-Time Boxoffice Darling.” Variety. 5 August 1970: 12.

Sar, Ali. “Paramount Unveils Two Top Pictures.” Van Nuys News. 21 June 1970: 24-A.

Sar, Ali. “Curiosity Films: Plagued Studios Hope.” Van Nuys News. 28 June 1970: 4-B.

Siskel, Gene. “The Movies: ‘Darling Lili’.” Chicago Tribune. 22 August 1970: 12.

Sloane, Leonard. “At Paramount, Real Financial Drama.” New York Times. 28 November 1969: 48.

Stewart, Perry. “Warm Kiss from ‘Lili’.” Fort-Worth Star-Telegram. 1 Juy 1970: 28.

Stuart, Byron. "Pictures: Big Budget’s Big Bust-Up." Variety. 23 July 1969: 3, 20.

Taylor, Robert. “‘Lili’ Can Be Charming.” Oakland Tribune. 27 June 1970: 21-E.

Thomas, Bob. “Julie Andrews Praises ‘Lili’.” Courier-News. 15 September 1970: 13.

“U.S. Films’ Share-of-Market Profile.” Variety. 12 May 1971: 36-38, 122, 171-174, 178-179, 182-183, 186-187, 190-191, 205-206.

Warga, Wayne. “Stanley Jaffe: Paramount Risk Jockey.” Los Angeles Times. 24 January 1971: C1, C20-21.

Wasson, Sam. A Splurch in the Kisser: The Movies of Blake Edwards. Middletown: Weslayan University Press, 2009.

Wedman, Les. “The End of the Roadshow.” Vancouver Sun. 9 January 1970: 7A.

Copyright © Brett Farmer 2020