#But this latest piece feels more true to how he looks Imo

[selmasclone]

update

I decided that I will be rendering on it because the last piece just felt so unfinished. I regret doing it but I'm too far in to quit. Sum bout the way his arm looks just don't sit right with me, I like it and I don't like it.

[connorsjorts]

Fic tag game! Tagged by the lovely @sweeteatercat , thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 4

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 229,987

3. What fandoms do you write for? DBH

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I don't even have 5 fics 😅 but here they are in order: 1. he's making a list; i'm checking him out 2. long way home 3. stupid sexy priest 4. make my wish come true

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always! I haven't responded to comments on my latest chapter yet, but I will. It's really important to me: 1) If someone takes the time to read my work AND share their thoughts with me, that really does mean so much, saying thank you (and clumsily attempting to express the depth of my gratitude in an annoying amount of emojis) is the least I can do; and 2) This is a community! The validation is nice, yes, but I write to connect with people. I love hearing what people have to say and I love to talk with them about it! I've made friends through my ao3 comments, we're all here because we love the same thing, and if you're excited about my silly contributions OF COURSE I'm gonna want to talk to you! Your reactions to the work are just as important as the work itself imo. Art is a conversation!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably make my wish come true, just because it's an alternate POV of a scene in a different fic so the main conflict remains unresolved. But it still has a feel-good ending! Sad endings don't exist in my world

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm not sure! What do you guys think? Generally in my fics I try to wrap everything up in a happy little bow without everything being too perfect--we still have to work, we still make mistakes, life is still hell; but it's easier when we have each other and have found faith in ourselves.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven't yet...... (bracing myself for my first hate comment to come through as soon as I publish this post)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? Sure do! I write the over-the-top, too long, lots of emotion, lots of laughing/banter, taking-off-your-pants-is-awkward kind. Sex is cool but friendship is the most romantic thing to me ❤️ I enjoy writing smut the most when they really, genuinely like each other as people.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I have not and I doubt I would. Probably the closest I would get is an au based on another piece of media (I do dream of a hankcon twin peaks au)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have never even considered that being a thing until now

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Someone requested to translate one of my fics but I don't know if it will ever come to fruition. I hope it does though, I would love that!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No but I've briefly discussed it with a friend... now that I'm done with the bb I'll need to contact them and see if they're still interested because I sure am 👀👀

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Hankconnnnnnnnnn

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I started a fic where Connor works in a sex shop and a very vanilla Hank comes in looking for something to spice things up with his girlfriend. He gets some fuzzy handcuffs and they do their job when it comes to Hank's boner, unfortunately that has more to do with Hank fantasizing about the person who sold them to him more than anything else. He breaks up with the girlfriend and most of the fic would be Hank continuing to frequent the sex shop as an excuse to talk to Connor as he gets more and more in over his head thanks to Connor's recommendations. It was really good in my head, but when I put it to paper it just... wasn't. So I'll probably never continue it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Characterization, I think! I get a lot of compliments on it. It's the best feeling when someone falls in love with one of my characters ❤️

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Setting 😖 I like to pepper in details as I go, I really struggle when the scene calls for describing the whole-ass place at once

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? If y'all want a fic about the Duolingo characters, sure. Otherwise I'm sure I'd be abysmal at it. I'm not proficient enough in any other language to get the voice right.

19. First fandom you wrote for? DBH. I am a fic-writing newbie and also I tend to stick with one thing for 4,000 years

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Probably long way home, it's not as popular as mall santa but there's so much of my soul in that fic. Artistically and thematically, it's very me, and it's also the story that taught me how to write. I had never written any work of fiction before I started it (Hankcon was just that strong) and now I never want to do anything else. Thank you for reading, if you want to play consider yourself tagged! 💖

[vinnival]

hi there, I was wondering if I could get a madcom x reader thing? I want the main 3, tricky, and mag agent torture with a short, slightly chubby/thicc s/o, who draws and makes comics, and has s/h scars and stretch marks. And can they be wholesome/flirty themed? Thank you :)

yeas anon......... youre r very true......vvalid.....

so basically: hold gentle

HANK

i think the favorite thing this man likes to do with people shorter than him is just stand right up to them and look down directly into their eyes

this tall piece of shit likes the intimidation factor a lot

Definitely just lurks around you and watches you draw- starts by sitting across the room and watching you as you h7nch over your latest work

It's just his thing, let him do it

Sometimes he'll say random things that catch your attention, mostly random words rasped out that are vaguely related to your drawings

After enough time he just starts sitting by you and leaning harshly on your side, his weight nearly toppling you (from a seated position, as well)

I don't think you'd mind though

Maybe he'll end up laying his head in your lap someday because pillowe.... pilloow...

It's basically agreed by the entire fandom that when this man wants something (be it items, knowledge, or anything like that) he will be very persistent and will do anything to get it

So good luck trying to keep him from just laying on you because you're perfectly cuddle-able

Likes to trace over your s/h scars sometimes, he thinks they're wonderful symbols of how strong you are and how far you've come

Just straight up fuckin . covers ur mouth when you start pointing out how bad your stretch marks look, because let's be honest, stretch marks are wonderful n cute and it's okay to have them (coming from someone who has stretch marks!)

SANFORD

Baby boy just adores you wtf !!! wtf .

He treats you so fuckin wonderfully istg he just wants you 2 he happy w urself and will fully support you with almost anything (almost)

Kisses u a lot everywhere!!! Loves seeing you blush/get flustered because he knows you're happy when you do

Will probably lay in your lap while you draw and just stare at you, just enamored

My beloved !!!

World cold and hard, s/o soft and warm -both of u

I hc only Hank and Dei can purr, but if Sanford could, he definitely would purr SO much around u it's insane

DEIMOS

Would definitely show you off to other people

And brag about how he got so lucky

"my s/o is the coolest and most gorgeous s/o alive sorry guys I'm just right"

Likes dancing with you !!! And definitely loves just holding you whenever he can

He likes how soft you feel rhrgrrgrvr

Will also make little quality of life robots for u... a pencil sharpener gadget that can also function as an eraser, ink pen, AND paintbrush? Made, done, yes

Loves it when you laugh at his jokes it makes him feel SOOSOSO good

Your laugh in general just makes him AUGH (/pos

"You make my sketchbooks smell with your nasty cigarettes" "EY toots I'm trying my best"

Pokes you sometimes

Just likes to poke you

If you're ever cold he'd warm you up no problem !!!! Cuddle time

Likes that you're shorter than hiMSMDJFNFM

TRICKY

*slaps head of tricky* this mf can fit so much RELATE in it

I hc them to be chubby too !! He IS dead so they kinda bloated plus hofnarr being originally pretty chubby (imo) also adds to it

So it's just you two being happy and supporting each other all the time . .... .. omf... .. . . . . ... . ..

Endless compliments (some weirder than others but thats just the clowns way of showing love)

You also return compliments and every time you do he shakes a little more intensely with happiness

Would kill for you

HAS killed for u

No one disrespects clowns s/o

They love hugs so much so so so so much. PHYSICAL AFFECTION YESYES

when you draw it's all over the drawings, spilling out compliment after compliment

which in turn makes you flush bc it's brutally honest everyone knows this so their compliments are extremely genuine

Take this clown to any amusement park, entertainment attraction, anything like that, and they're head over heels x10

JUST SPOIL HIM they'll spoil u back x1000

MAG TORTURE

BIG MAN

hold u SO GENTLE

he loves u so much omf. your shape, your warmth, your personality, sends the giant WILD

purring like a tractor headass (lovingly)

He loves it when you gently pet his head n stuff, it feels nice

cannot keep his eyes off of you he just loves looking at you and can't express his love with words so

He just stares until you notice and look, and he does a little heart with his fingers :)

If anyone were to make fun of u OOPS pancake now

dadeng tor doesn't know anything about the flattened grunt in the right wing, must've been another MAG

Loves it when you bump your head against his, as we all know it's a kiss :)

PROTECTION MODE ALWAYS ON

GUESS who accidentally posted this I'll finish it babe dw dw dw

okay I did it I hope u liked it HSHDSN

[normal-thoughts-official]

you talk a lot about magnus and camille dynamic and how they started and all that great meta content that you know i love but here's a question that idk if you ever got: how long do you think they were together? bc i can't think of a specific timeline and personally i love the one you talked abt at some point how she was pretty much right after asmododo or something like that, so he went from one type of abuse into another... but how long was he there? was camille with him for 20 years? 80? 130? any theories?

ugh that's a complicated one because i don't really have an answer for that and i think about it often as well

altho i think you got confused about her being right after asmodeus, i definitely don't think she was. i mentioned it my post about the timeline to say that magnus COULDN'T have been born close to the 1800s because that would make it asmodeus and camille way too close and that can't be the case because it would imply camille is basically the only person he dated before alec doajsdoaj and we know that's not true cuz there's also other ppl like george and etc. it was more a point in favor of "early to mid 1600s" for his birth date

anyway! let's go through this. i mentioned in another post that i think he got together with camille right after george, and that i think george died around the middle of the US civil war, which lasted from 1861 to 1865. so let's say they got together around 1863. now, we have a few pieces of information:

magnus mentioned that he hadn't been with anyone for "almost a century" when talking to alec. i know i think magnus is time blind but he can't be TOO off here. that was in 2016 so that would make their breakup date be a little after 1916 if magnus remembers correctly

literally the only thing about the timeline in that time period that i can remember is that one picture there was in his file of magnus surrounded by girls at a party, which looked to be in the 20s to me. since camille was an abusive asshole probably sabotaging his every chance to meet people, that couldn't have been when they were together. so i'd say 1920 is like, the limit for when they could have broken up. it's up to you whether or not you think magnus would be jumping into his party animal role immediately after the breakup or if it would take some time for him to heal; personally i think both make sense (i think she made a huge number on him so it would make sense for him to take a while to get back to that kind of thing; on the other hand, a lot of people turn straight to being party animals after breaking up abusive relationships, especially because for so long abusers have kept them from doing anything fun. so both work imo) so it's up to you

conclusion: they broke up in 1920 at the latest, so the max you could go for is 80 years, if you go with a timeline where camille was right after george (george can't be after camille because magnus has had no relationships after camille, but there could have been a bigger gap between george and camille than i personally hc). it could still be less tho, because we literally have NO information whatsoever on what happened between 1861 and 1920. even if you go with "they broke up and magnus immediately went full party animal" (which is perfectly valid), it's also entirely possible that this happened in say, 1901 and that pic just happened to be from the 20s, years later. but i also don't think it could have been a lot earlier than 1901 because magnus said almost a century, implying less than a century between the year they broke up and 2016. and while i do think that any immortal would lose track of time after a while and mingle years and decades together, nevermind adhd time blind icon magnus bane, if they had broken up in, say, 1880, magnus would remember that over a century has passed, if anything because so much has changed since then. so i think for him to say that the breakup should have happened in the 20th century at least

so that's the analysis from what we've seen in the show. personal opinion! i think 80 years makes sense, but is a bit much. it makes sense because there does seem to be a pretty obvious gap in magnus' file from the 1860s to the 1920s and then it goes back to having many pictures of him, and that "disappearance" makes sense in the context of him being in an abusive relationship (which limits your interactions and going outs by a lot). it does seem to be a bit much because magnus is at max 400, so, if they had been together 80 years, that would have been 20% of magnus' life spent with camille. or 1/5. added with all the time with asmodeus, it seems to be... a bit much dioadsoaijd and like look i'm not judging, i know abusive relationships can last many years and decades even for mortals, nevermind immortals, but i just don't like the idea of it lasting this long personally, especially because i think it makes him getting with alec seem actually a bit soon considering how long the abusive relationship lasted, and that's ignoring asmodeus' abuse on top of it

so personally, i like it morenif its around 40-50 years. i think it makes sense. it would mean the breakup was sometime around the 1910s, and while, okay, there is a gap in his file that seems to only end in the 20s, we must not forget an important fact: shadowhunters are stupid. so i actually think it makes sense that like, magnus emerges from his abusive relationship and is still getting back on his feet, and shadowhunters just don't care. like who is that guy? oh some warlock, no one's heard of him since like the 1860s lol. whatever happened to him? who cares. anyway, we love racism

and then around a decade later it turns out that magnus is healing enough to be a pain in their ass; say, that is when he becomes HWoB, or simply that they are reminded of how powerful magnus actually is once he is back in activity, and so they go back to like, investigating him and updating his file. so the file gap could be explained in that case. it also actually makes more sense that it would take shadowhunters a while to pay attention to him again, and since magnus was healing from an abusive relationship, the time it would take for him to draw their attention might well be around a decade

and with 40-50 years of an abusive relationship that would mean magnus has spent 10-12% of his life with camille; which is a LOT of time (for comparison: my first abusive relationship lasted a little over a year and i was 16 at the time; that makes it have lasted around 6% of my life at the time, and it did a HUGE number on me, taking me almost 3 years to have a relationship again), but not quite as much as a full 20%. not just that, but him taking "almost a century" (it would actually make it be a little over a century in this timeline, but again, magnus is immortal and time blind, so give him a break) to get with anyone again makes sense. that would be around double the time he's spent with her before he heals enough to be with someone else. that tracks, because abuse fucks you up fast and unfuckening yourself up takes longer. magnus isn't even fully unfucked up (which is okay, he doesn't have to be), but for him to be ready to take such huge steps as he is taking with alec, i think around double the time he's spent with her spent on healing makes sense

(again, i'm mostly going off my own experiences here; my abusive relationship lasted almost a year and a half, my next relationship was almost three years after the breakup. so almost perfectly double the time before i was ready to have another relationship. and again, i know recovery isn't the same for everyone and a lot of factors go into this, but i just think a timeline where he's been with her for 80 years and then gets with alec less than 100 afterwards is a bit too fast)

i still think 40 years is kind of a very long time to be in an abusive relationship and like holy shit i cant even imagine, but also i mean, mortals have abusive relationships that last that long and to an immortal itd feel like less time, and it does seem to be what best fits the timeline, so

and yeah i think those are my thoughts dadsajdsa

LAST MINUTE EDIT BEFORE THIS IS PUBLISHED CUZ IM NOT REDOING THE WHOLE THING: i got an anon today saying that magnus said something about not having seen camille in 130 years (link) which i didnt/dont really remember but i trust that theyre right and im wrong because i dont remember a lot of shit from this show. 130 years before 2016 would be 1886, meaning that if they broke up at that time and got together right after george's death as i personally hc, that's a 20-year relationship. that sounds like it fits the timeline as much as any other to me, and like i said in that ask, i think it makes sense that magnus would play it down to alec by saying "almost a century" instead of how long it's really been cuz it's a bit too vulnerable, and plus, we know one of the ways he protects himself is by not letting people pinpoint exactly some important dates from his past, particularly his birthday and etc

and okay i know that 20 years together, then 130 years recovering is a huge difference, but also i think with twenty years together as opposed to my comparatively short abusive relationship the scars of abuse would deepen a lot and quicker, so maybe it makes sense that it would take a longer time to feel confident enough to get to dating again. plus, like i said, there's no real math to be had in that process, everyone is different, has their own history and recovery process and etc so it's not like there is a deadline. so actually scratch everything i said above im going with this timeline. the one thing that doesn't track with that is the gap in his file but also like i said shadowhunters are stupid, so. yeah 20 years together is probably closer to it

in the end its kind of a relief cuz i was like "holy shit 40 years is so LONG" so... yeah udndidn

[sxfterhearts]

scarred

29. [11:04 am]

➳ pairing: yugyeom x reader

➳ genre/warnings: slow burn, fluff + slight angst, slight bad boy!yugyeom, triggers; mentions of violence, injuries, physical abuse, bullying

➳ word count: 3,027 words

➳ summary: 29. “Well, what do you want to do?”

➳ author's note: once again, thank you to @jinyoungot7​ for this beautiful gif :”) and guys!! i’m so sorry for the delay, but here’s part 2 of wounded/24/7:25pm!! 🤗 i’ve decided it’ll be a 3 part story hehe i hope this is a good continuation of the 1st part!!! thank you for showering me with love and as always, any feedback is welcome + appreciated! feel free to drop me a msg or an ask if you’d like 🥰

wounded // scarred // healed

“Wait up!” You yelled, your thighs burning as you tried to jog up the steep, narrow alley. Just twenty minutes into your walk and you were huffing and puffing as though you ran a full marathon.

“Come on, Y/N!” Came Yugyeom’s voice from far ahead, growing more and more distant as the black puppy tugged and pulled on its leash, leading him further and further into the winding maze of streets and back alleys. “You can do better than this!”

“I’m trying,” You muttered to yourself, taking a deep breath before going full steam ahead in an attempt to catch up with the boys.

It was a miracle that you three got this far, really. It took you nearly three weeks to convince Yugyeom to volunteer at the dog shelter run by your best friend’s mum. Every time you brought up the topic, he would either ask you about homework or fake a wince, prompting you to inspect his latest injury. He finally agreed last week. Your birthday was coming up soon, and he asked you what you wanted as your birthday present and how you were celebrating, in the bluntest way possible. “Well, what do you want to do?”, were his exact words.

One thing you learned in the past month since you sat with him in your family’s restaurant was that Kim Yugyeom was not one to beat around the bush. If he wanted to know something, he would ask about it without batting an eyelash. If he had an opinion, he would state it in the most straightforward, yet nonchalant way possible. You supposed it came with years of being labelled the quiet kid. It made sense that he was awfully efficient with his words.

Naturally, you had asked him to fulfill your birthday wish of visiting the shelter together. “Don’t you want something more substantial? Like a present that could either be useful or memorable?” He wondered curiously.

“This is memorable, Yugyeom.” You told him, looking him square in the eyes. “You won’t just be doing me, or the dog shelter, a favour. You’ll be helping me create a happy memory. Nothing is more valuable than that.”

Sweat trickled down your back as you jogged the final stretch towards Yugyeom who was taking a rest on a bench in the neighbourhood’s park. Charcoal, the black Pomeranian puppy you two were responsible for this morning rested comfortably on his lap, thoroughly enjoying all the attention Yugyeom was giving him. You watched as you slowly approached the pair, trying to commit the peaceful scene into your memory. The morning sun casted its brilliant glow upon them, and you could just make out the beginnings of a fond smile gracing Yugyeom’s features as he smoothed his hand, the one with just a lone plaster on the thumb, repeatedly over the puppy’s soft fur.

It was nearly picture perfect, if not for the sudden yelp the boy emitted when the puppy licked across his wrist. There was a shallow graze from when a piece of glass sliced through the skin from two days ago, which had just started to heal. If not for that Friday nearly a month ago, you wouldn’t have insisted on staying at the restaurant until closing time and would’ve left around dinner time like you always did. Ever since then, you always waited until Yugyeom came in with his order just in case he needed someone to patch him up. You distinctly remembered how relieved you were that night because the glass missed a vein or an artery. Yet, the thought left you disgusted. You shouldn’t be feeling any form of relief at all. Regardless of how shallow his injuries were, his uncle was still being abusive. You shook your head to clear your spiralling thoughts.

“I think he tired himself out.” Yugyeom said in a slightly strained voice when you arrived by his side. The boy was flapping his injured wrist repeatedly in the hopes of alleviating the stinging pain.

Without a word, you kneeled and took his wrist in yours, blowing on it with earnest. While it was true that a dog’s saliva had potential healing capabilities, you didn’t want to risk an infection. Especially judging from Yugyeom’s earlier reaction and the way his skin was just starting to clot, you figured it was best to leave it alone. The newly formed scab looked pink and tender, but it was on its way to healing properly.

Unbeknownst to you, Yugyeom started to squirm in his seat. He was getting flustered by the way your dainty fingers danced across his skin, and the cool air that soothed and blew his pain away. From this vantage point, he could look down and watch the glistening beads of sweat as it rolled down the side of your face, your soft lips pursed tightly in concentration. It was distracting. “I… It’s fine, Y/N.”

You released his hand and handed him a packet of tissues from your pocket, already missing the smooth feel of his arm under your fingertips. “Maybe I should take over?” You cocked your head towards the dark little ball of fluff lying on his lap, its tongue stuck out in an adorably goofy way. “Scooch over, Kim.” Scooping up little Charcoal in your arms, you moved to sit beside Yugyeom. You marvelled at the tiny creature lying curled up atop your legs. He was barely five months old and took up nearly three quarters of your lap. Just as your hand moved to pat his head, the puppy looked up and playfully gnawed on your fingers.

“Treats?” Yugyeom suggested, producing a brown paper bag from his pocket. “He could be hungry.”

“Here, I’ll do it-”

“Charcoal, do you want some treats?” Yugyeom spoke in a high-pitched tone, as though he was playing with a baby.

Before you could stop him, the boy had already reached out his palm full of treats for the puppy. You breathed an audible sigh of relief when you realised it was his relatively uninjured hand. “Look at you, Kim Yugyeom. You’re a natural when it comes to puppies. Who would’ve thought that you were so reluctant to visit the dog shelter just a week ago?”

He quickly shushed you, his fingers enveloping the puppy’s flappy ears to prevent him from hearing you. “Charcoal doesn’t need to know that, okay? Besides, this little guy changed my mind.” Yugyeom let out a fit of giggles when the puppy gobbled up all the treats and ended up licking his palm instead. “It tickles,” The boy squealed.

You watched, amused at the softer side of Yugyeom that was surfacing in the presence of the black puppy. “You know, the Imo at the shelter always talks about having way too many puppies. You could always adopt one. I think it’ll be good for you, you know? Having a furry companion can be a huge source of comfort and emotional support.” You suggested, your tone as gentle as possible due to the sensitive nature of the topic.

Yugyeom peeled his eyes away from Charcoal and connected his gaze with yours instead. You couldn’t really articulate it or fully understand it, but there was something in the way he looked at you that struck you as inherently sad. “Listen, Y/N, there’s something I need-”

“Yugyeom hyung!” A boy exclaimed from the general direction of the playground. The two of you whipped your heads around and followed the voice until finally you saw a boy, probably a middle school student, with a long fringe identical to Yugyeom’s, waving enthusiastically.

“Bambam!” Yugyeom waved back, beckoning the younger boy over to where you sat.

He sprinted across the field in a matter of seconds, giving Yugyeom a typical bro hug as a way of greeting. “What are you doing here, hyung? And who is this? Is she…?”

Yugyeom hurriedly clasped his palm against the younger boy’s mouth, muffling his words. He pinched Bambam’s cheeks teasingly instead. “Behave, kid. This is Y/N, and this is Charcoal.” With the younger boy distracted by the little puppy, Yugyeom took this chance to give you a brief explanation. “Bambam is our neighbour. We play soccer together with Mark hyung.”

“Hello, Bambam!” You greeted with a wide smile as you watched the younger boy coo at the puppy. You never met any of Yugyeom’s friends before, so this was a first for you. It seemed that beyond his tough exterior and bad boy façade, he was just a normal boy who loved puppies and playing soccer with his friends.

Just as Bambam reached for Charcoal’s tiny paws, to your dismay, you noticed that his knuckles were a familiar shade of black and blue. “Bambam, your knuckles…” No way, you thought, was he like Yugyeom?

“Bammie,” Yugyeom started in a scolding tone, sounding far more mature than he usually did. “Are those rascals still bothering you? I thought you told me that they stopped.”

“Yeah, well,” Bambam looked like a deer caught in headlights. “It was just, you know, a small fight, nothing too serious. I swear! I’m completely fine. It doesn’t even hurt, really!” The younger boy scrambled to explain himself.

“Where are they? Are they here?” Yugyeom seethed, his tone dripping with dangerous venom and his eyebrows forced together in a frown.

Bambam peered over his shoulders briefly at the playground before shaking his head profusely. “No, just forget it, hyung. It’s fine.”

“Take me to them, kid. Right now, and I’m not going to ask twice.” Yugyeom moved to stand before directing his words at you. “I have to go take care of something for a bit, I’ll be back.”

You nodded, speechless. Sure, you’ve seen Yugyeom mad before, but hardly to this extent. The only incident that came close was when he stopped that classmate of yours from striking you across the face. As the two of them walked away, your mind began to race with irrational thoughts. You pondered the list of possible scenarios as your hands absently stroked Charcoal to calm yourself down. Was Bambam getting into fights? But why? Could he be the target of bullying? The young boy seemed so innocent and harmless though, why would anyone do that? It just didn’t make sense. Those long agonising minutes seemed to stretch out as you waited and waited for them to return, praying that they would still be in one piece.

After what seemed like a lifetime, you felt Yugyeom’s presence once again as he collapsed onto the seat beside you. “Oh, hey.” You muttered, voice small and uncertain.

“Hey yourself.” He replied with a small laugh, intrigued by your worried expression. A few moments passed, and then, “Are you going to ask what happened?”

You turned your head to face him, quick enough that you felt a slight strain in your neck. “Are you injured?” You started prodding at his body, mainly inspecting his fingers, his palms, his arms and his face.

The evident worry written across your features amused Yugyeom to no end. He wanted nothing more than to iron out the creases on your forehead and turn your frown upside down. “Of course not. The little rascals who bullied Bammie are nearly half my size. I could’ve taken them out like a light.”

You flinched slightly at the unwanted imagery that filled your head. “Please don’t say that, Yugyeom. Please don’t tell me you got into a fight. I don’t want you to get hurt any more than you already do.” You confessed.

“Not to worry, I just gave them a stern talking-to and sent them on their way, unharmed. They scattered like little mice, honestly.” He was met with your confused stare. “Basically, Bambam is Thai. His classmates picked on him because of that. The kid’s parents don’t know about it but I’ve seen what they did to him. I had to stand up for him and protect him. I couldn’t just watch from the sidelines as my friend got hurt over and over again.”

His words left you stunned once more. You had heard rumours of him getting involved in fights with bullies in lower grades before, but this was the first time you got confirmation from the boy himself. You never thought that the cuts and bruises he showed up with in class were actually battle scars he suffered when defending someone else. He stood up for the kids who had no one, just like how he wished someone would stand up for him. So much for that bad boy façade of his.

There was a sudden urge within you to give Yugyeom a big hug for what he’s gone through and what he’s done for others, and so you did. It was more of a side hug, due to the puppy now napping cosily on your lap, with one arm coming around his middle and holding him close to your side.

Yugyeom didn’t know what to do at first. Should he stay still? Should he say something? He decided on reciprocating in the end, his other arm resting securely on your petite shoulders. In those few moments, the two of you were enveloped in a calming silence, filled only by Charcoal’s soft snores and the rustling of luscious leaves above your heads. Yugyeom could only hear his own heart beating thunderously in his ears.

“I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve experienced, Yugyeom.” You started, causing Yugyeom to shake his head in response. None of this was your fault, yet you felt the inexplicable need to apologise. “Thank you for being so brave and so kind to your friends and to those other students who got bullied.” You paused to sniffle, hot tears already pooling in your eyes, blurring your vision. “I’m… I’m sorry that, all this time, all these months, I could only watch from the sidelines as you got hurt, over and over.”

"No." He replied resolutely. "You didn't just watch from the sidelines, Y/N, you need to… Wait, no, are you crying? Why…? Don't… don't cry." Yugyeom panicked, trying his best to quiet you down. He didn't have a clue on how to comfort a crying girl. He tried to rub his palm soothingly over your back, but you didn't stop.

It wasn't until Charcoal, who had been woken up by all of the fuss, moved around in your lap and began pawing on your stomach. He even tried to lick your face, but he could only reach the bottom of your chin. You broke out into a giggle, and Yugyeom finally let out a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.

“Don't cry anymore, you're an ugly crier.” Yugyeom said just as you were beginning to calm down. Before you could retort, he continued, “In my case, there was no way for you to shield me from my Uncle's punches or tell him to bugger off. You did the best you could for me, I don't even know why you're doubting that. You didn't have to patch me up when I was injured. You didn't have to be kind to me when I've never even spoken a single word to you. And yet week after week for the past semester you would sit there beside me, silently cleaning my wounds and covering them with those cute yellow plasters. You didn't have to, but…” He reached into his backpack and produced a yellow handmade card. “You didn't have to, but you became my friend.”

“What’s this?” You accepted the card gingerly while wiping stray tears off your wet cheeks.

“Your birthday card. Happy early Birthday, friend. Don’t read it until you get home, yeah?”

You inspected the yellow card, with Yugyeom’s signature chicken scrawl and random stickers of smiley faces littered all over the surface. There was even a Rilakkuma plaster, identical to the ones you would stick on him, at the top right corner. It was one of the most heart-warming cards you had received.

“Yugyeom, I…” You turned to face him. The scar right in the middle of his face, the one you first saw when you met him at the restaurant, caught your attention briefly before you finally met his eyes. You held his gaze, trying to convey a whirlwind of emotions through eye contact alone. Gratitude, happiness, fondness, touched, awe-struck. “Thank you,” You uttered sincerely, as it seemed to be the most appropriate response.

//

You read his card the minute you got home, sitting cross-legged on top of your bed.

Dear Y/N,

Happy Birthday! I wish that you will celebrate your birthday well with your family and friends. May each year be happier than the last.

I’m not good with words, as you always remind me, so I will just cut to the chase. First of all, thank you for being the light amongst the darkness of my life. There are not enough words in my vocabulary (or the dictionary) to express what you and your family has done for me. I will never forget it and I hope to repay this huge debt in the future.

Secondly, there is something I need to tell you that I cannot bring myself to say out loud. I am not brave, which is why I have to say this through a letter. Mark hyung got a job two months ago at our local football club as an assistant. Perhaps your mother has told you this, but his increased independence has resulted in the greater severity of my Uncle’s violence. Last week, after watching hyung play, the coach offered to get him transferred to Incheon United FC. Incheon is a distance away from Namyangju, which means we won’t be able to come back for frequent visits, but it is a good chance (and perhaps our only chance) to get away from Uncle.

This is what I keep telling myself whenever I think about leaving this town; about leaving you. As much as I would like to stay beside you, I have to break free from him.

I leave the second week of school holidays. If you find it in your heart to forgive me, let’s have one last bowl of naengmyeon together, okay?

Your friend, always,

Kim Yugyeom

For the nth time that day, the boy had left you speechless.

[for-peace-war]

No, really. Lovecraft Country sucks.

These are spoilers, but I also don’t give a shit because it’s a bad show and I hope you skim enough to fucking skip it.  I took a few days to decide if I hated it enough to write this and well, I do. 

I will try my best not to say “X is a bad actor,” but instead stick with the characters as they’re intended save for one particular issue.

The Story

It isn’t very Lovecraftian.  And don’t take this as me saying Lovecraft was some kind of master of his craft.  I think he was an absurd racist that used xenophobia as his guise for what truly horrified the sane mind. That being said, the element of the unknown is definitely the hallmark of his world and that in no way is represented in this show.  It could easily be called “Goosebumps: The Black Version” and it’d be just as authentic--if not more so, really.

The story deals with the Bible (?) and magic that comes from uh, knowing the names of things.  You speak a made up language and then you do some kind of confusing magic that has no real purpose or point.  I sound dismissive of this because I am, to be clear.  They could have just as easily had this language be something whites stole from Africans and then perverted into their own means of power (it’d be a pretty easy parralel to any number of imperialist issues left behind in Africa, huh.)

But anyway, it has a tentacle monster. I think we see a big scary octopus at one point.  But the monsters are often in your face and it’s probably less scary than Stranger Things S1.

Honestly, the characters repeat “autumnal equinox” so much that I felt I was going to have a fucking breakdown.  Just the writing is very empty and no one seems to really care about anyone else on the screen except for in a rare moment between the only two characters that make it far and matter. 

Characters

They aren’t very good.  There are tropes present, which isn’t bad at all, but the way the characters interact, speak, and in general move us through the story feels stilted, often nonsensical, and entirely reliant on the viewer assuming that the latest sentence spoken is the only one that matters.

Atticus “Tic” Freeman

A war criminal that derives his power from the white blood inside of him. Again, dismissive but true.  We see this man struggle to connect pieces to a puzzle and eventually he pays the price for it, but not in the way Lovecraft would have someone pay for endeavoring beyond their realm.  Rather, something about fate and a book. Look, honestly? Who gives a shit.  Tic murders a woman in coldblood and it’s never really touched on.  There’s a lot that could be said about militaries, oppression, etc, but we often see these characters enact violence and then the story skips merrily beyond it.  So yeah, he summarily executes a Korean woman and then is later shown torturing another, but it’s okay because he feels a little bad and fucks the Korean sex demon woman.  More on that later.   I felt nothing for him.  He didn’t have some deep animus over being a torturing war criminal.  He was just kind of moving through scenes and having confusing fights with his girlfriend/baby mama.

Letitia “Leti” Lewis

This is what empowerment shouldn’t look like. It amuses me that the show claimed to subvert some kind of norms when the primary love interest (and ultimate heroine) remains the lightest skinned sister in the room.  She is able to maintain the appeal of the ingenue while at the same time having the understood attractiveness of her complexion. As far as Leti is concerned as a character, she too seems to be a pretty shitty person.  We hear that she has “transactional” friendships and she seems pretty much all about self-survival and rarely if ever puts up where others do.  She’s a heroine in the sense that the story makes her be heroic, but it never addresses how her flaws are ultimately all self-inflicted and unnecessary.  She could just not be a shitty person.

Hippolyta Freeman

Well. Hidden Figures was an excellent film, and I think that’s where Hippolyta came from.  In a more serious series, perhaps she and her daughter could have had a very touching arc that would deal with survival and exceptionalism in a world that maligns you for your very being.  Unfortunately, in reality she just comes off as a character that’s quirky in a world that’s also quirky and she doesn’t get to harness her power. There’s an entire episode dedicated to how she discovers who she is and the result is well, her hair turns blue and she makes robots?  I think the character TYPE is great, but they misused her here in all ways.

George Freeman

Well, well.  If the series had remained about George, Tic, and Leti adventuring through America and encountering sundown towns and monsters both human and otherwise, I think it’d have been okay.  The issue is, they wrote this series by the numbers so George is immediately thrown away.  He’s a wise and circumspect guy that has his own flaws (he has patrarchical notions built around protecting/babying his genius wife, clearly), but the flaws he has are understandable and well reasoned. George dies early on.  Then he sort of doesn’t, I guess? But the fact he did was really the nail in the coffin for this series.  The moment they did that, the rest just became empty strokes.  A story where George witnessed the others dying and going back to his wife and daughter would have had so much more heart to it, but well.  Uncle George is literally one of the few bright spots.

Ruby Baptise

Much like her sister, Leti, Ruby is a terrible attempt at showing empowerent on the one hand, and a masterwork on the other.  The bad first: she’s a rapist.  I’ve been called a nigger before and while it didn’t feel great, I don’t think I’d have been justified in just sodomizing the person that did it.  That entire sequence was weird and they tried to hype it as her reclaiming something, when really it spoke to a disgusting and gratuitous tendency toward Ruby: she’s always too much. Ruby, IMO, should have been Tic’s love interest.  In a sense.  First, because Wunmi Mosaku was a very attractive woman with impressive acting chops (she’s where I’ll break my moratirum, sorry), but also because it wouldn’t be what you’d see in every other show now: light-skinned pretty sister, dark-skinned sexual eikon.  And that’s the issue with Ruby there: she’s always too much.  She’s sexual by existing and that isn’t necessarily to her benefit since Leti, the good one, is an actual virgin before her sudden period sex. So the narrative has already spoken as to how it views sex. Yet, because they tried to give Ruby these strange strokes, she comes out as an interesting character.  She has feelings, aspirations, and dreams that she’s kept from and that’s very real. In a story about the absurd, a sense of realness is a familiar handhold to gather your wits.  She’s all that, really.  It’s why she has the best relationships in the show, which is AGAIN an issue, but well. I’ll say Ruby was never bad to have on screen though I was disgusted with how often her blackess (and Blackness in general!) became the source of grotesque horror.

Christina Braithewaite

This is where I get annoyed.  My issue with Christina is that she should have easily been the most hated character, but they overplayed their hand with not showing how nefarious she was.  In fact? Christina and Ruby’s relationship is the only meaningful, real, and understandable one in the entire series.  I felt no joy during her downfall, because I didn’t really get to see her doing anything bad? Just, consider what the show is.  It’s about Lovecraft’s lore, ostensibly, which treats all non (specific types of) white men like dogs.  So Christina comes at it from the “white” but “woman” perspective and you know, she has moments of duality that you can say is she more white or woman here.  But they don’t execute on how sinister she should be.  She’s a little rude at times? Yet she is the only person to treat Ruby like she should be treated and she’s the only person that seems to have a goal outside of “the quest.” It really bothered me that she came out so well done, because either they needed to have her for two seasons and make her far more nefarious after the first, or to just make her less a force for good.  She saves the characters more than a few times and pays for it by being killed when she’s at her lowest.  Yeah, it’s... a weird take.  

Ji-Ah

What can I say?  There are depictions of sex in the series, and they’re all negative: most of Ji-Ah’s scenes, Montrose’s angry self-loathing sex with his boyfriend, Ruby’s morphic horror scenes.  In the case of most of those, there’s something being said.  Ji-Ah is a monster, literally, that could be seen as Lovecraftian in the sense she’s an exotic Asian woman that kills men that sleep with her.  So, HBO was like “we’ll blow our tits and ass budget on her,” and she exists for a series of sex scenes and vague, inscrutable... shit, maybe SHE is the most Lovecraft of all the characters! Anyway at some point she joins the party after confusing drama with Leti because they both fucked Tic.  It’s okay though, because Ji-Ah isn’t here for any of that now.  She’s the one who had the best friend that had her teeth yanked out by Tic, and also who was there when he shot her other friend in cold blood, but they get over that and she’s now their friendly red panda pal or some shit.  It’s fucking trash.   Much like the Freemans (sans Tic), I think she’d have done great in another show. But they rushed her story and it felt less Ghost Nation (Westworld) and more Masturbation (Jordan Peele).

Diana Freeman

Confusing.  A stock character (quirky kid that does art, is impetuous, and won’t take no for an answer) that is given a lot of screen time.  When she sort of hijacks an episode when two ragamuffin girls chase her down and infest her or something because racist cops.  Well, the story veers to her direction.  What can I say?  If you like 11 from Stranger Things but wanted her to have Mike’s attitude, well.  Here you go.

Montrose Freeman

He could have been a good character, I guess. He seemed unnecessary and often was there purely for an x-factor of “uh?”  Like, his infamous scene where he slits a two-spirit Native American’s throat after we learn that this indigenous person had just been restored after being raped by bad guys.  So there’s that.  Also I guess he was self-loathing so he beat his son (that may not be his son???) and also liked fucking dudes, which was I think where we were supposed to care about him. It’s like someone saw Omar was a gun-wielding desperado of drug theft and decided, “Well what made him okay is he’s gay!”  But it didn’t add much.  I get he was angsty but other than Tic calling him a “faggot” (one of the few good scenes between them in terms of emotion), it all seemed empty and kind of meandering. At no point does Montrose seem a part of the team.  He just half-mumbles, gets angry, cries, and falls apart.

Captain Seamus Lancaster

He’s barely a character, but I need to include him for another point. He’s the “bad guy.”  I guess?  He uses the bodies of black men to stay alive, which is actually a really smart reference to black bodies fueling the American system, but it comes off as cheesy because it just never comes up.  He’s cartoonishly bad in a way that he’s less sinister than a meme.  Compare him to say,   Ridgeway from Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad. One’s a sinister representation of an oppressive system and the other’s well, a joke.

Racism

How could this not be a theme?  The issue, as was shown with Lancaster, is that it isn’t even remotely handled with seriousness.  The best scene of racism is in the first episode when Tic, George, and Leti are forced to leave a Sundown county before they’re lynched by the racist sheriff.  The anticipation and animosity lead to some serious anxiety and it was a nailbiter.

But after that?  White people say “nigger.”  Then they get, I don’t know, raped or spit on or who knows.  A lot of black people talk back to the cops anyway in the 50′s and that’s cool.

But the real monsters of the series are all black people.  Let’s go through it: 

Tic brutalized women in the Korean War.

Montrose killed the two-spirit person.

Ruby rapes the shop owner.

Diane crushes Christina’s throat.

Ruby literally sheds her flesh in repeatedly gratuitous acts of the grotesque.

Even Ji-Ah, who’s not black, is a monster in the literal sense.  We do see the doctor that experimented on black people, but that’s about 5 minutes at the end of an episode that has a baby’s head on a man’s body so I was too busy laughing at the absurdity to take any real meaning from it.

The truth is, in Lovecraft Country, white people always should do their best to kill or keep black people down.  It definitely doesn’t speak at all to any togetherness or what have you.  Just, well. Magical negroes doing bad stuff because nothing can stop them.

The show misses the chances to show real horror in race.  Hell, the Tulsa Riots are reduced to a backdrop for a confusing book scene.  But then again, Emmett Till becomes a kind of empty reference point that we then see a white woman act out... for some reason? 

Again, the only characters with any chemistry are Ruby and Christina, which is very unfortunate for any number of reasons. As far as a statement that racism is bad goes, I mean. I barely saw it.  If I was a racist I’d be like hell yeah, Lovecraft was right they are dangerous.

Even when people try to indicate the horrors of it like, “Oh, the Korean War scenes are bad because we see how men are forced into the military complex!”  We didn’t see a white officer say “Shoot her, boy,” it was just two black guys killing women with no care at all. And no compeuppance, so that’s cool.

The Music

Sucks.  Thanks Peaky Blinders for making modern music over gif sets a thing.

Conclusion

I sure as hell would never watch it again.  If I can get one other person not to, then maybe it’d be worth it. It’s not a good show.  It’s not “smart,” and there’s no secret subversion in it.  It’s just... bad.

I won’t post on it anymore.  Please, in true Lovecraft fashion, trust me when I say that this show is so bad it cannot be comprehended. 

[angelmichelangelo]

1) There’s always this conversation about d&p communication skills with their audience, especially about dan and the almost complete lack of it. A lot of people express their thoughtful opinions on the matter, but between being an empathetic fan, and criticizing his decisions, is one thing that rarely gets talked about. It’s professionalism. But it is exactly that, look at Eugene’s latest tweet for example. A member of his family passed away. And he took time to say, that he’ll be off soc media

i do understand the frustration that some people feel when it comes to dan and his lack of communication. it would be nice to have him talk to us a little more, but in terms of big things and not just his very generic tweets, i don’t think a lot can really be said.

like we already know from what dan’s told us: he’s working on a project, it was supposed to be released during his last merch drop, something happened and it got pushed back again only for it to get pushed back a second time due to corona virus. so imo it seems like right now it’s a lot of work and probably a lot of stress that he’s probably trying to work around.

so whilst we could have a day by day update from dan on every tiny, micro piece of information, i don’t see how that would be... interesting? i guess ?? since it seems right now that dan’s stuck and just waiting for a time when he can eventually get things moving again and he can finally tell us (and i bet he does, too, like i imagine he’s super excited to talk about whatever it is he’s been working on!)

i think it’s important to remember what phil said in his dml 2 video about how sometimes we don’t know everything that’s going on. your point about eugene doesn’t apply to everyone. yes, it’s nice that he can be open with his audience and share that and tell them why he’s taking a break. it’s good to know he has a good enough relationship with his viewers to share that news. but it’s not really fair to use it against dan as “hey he did this so why aren’t you doing it?”

we know that dan and phil are both really private people. phil’s said it before that when something has happened to him personally, like his dad getting sick, it was something he didn’t want to share with the internet. they have their boundaries, and they’re just different than other people’s, and that’s okay. eugene may have communicated with his audience about something really personal as to why he’s taking a break, but dan’s also told us that he’s working hard and he wants to wait until it’s finished to let us know about it.

and i get why that can be annoying sometimes because i’m an impatient person lol - but what phil said in his video was true, because sometimes it’s better to wait and feel surprised rather than have it spoiled and for it to not work out.

i mean, imagine if dan and phil had told us that they were gonna make a home renovation show and then it flopped. imagine the reaction that would have garnered....

so whilst i really do understand your points here and understand that for some people it’s frustrating to wait for what feels like may never come, it’s important to understand that everyone is different, everyone has a life behind what they present to the world and dan and phil could be better at communicating with us but i think right now they’re doing the best they can :)

i don’t think dan’s disrespect in any way or unprofessional (especially when there are way worse people on the platform as he is) and i think sometimes it’s easy to start getting mad at him and lashing out at him because we’re missing our normality with dan and phil and we don’t know when we’re gonna get it back, if ever.

but i like dan! as a creator and as a general human being. i think he’s funny, entertaining, fun and super creative. so yeah, i’d happily wait around to see what he’s been working on. obviously you’re entitled to your own opinion about dan but at the end of the day he’s still a person? and i know how easy it is to say something on the internet to someone (literally all you have to do is go through my asks lol) and there’s the huge argument of critisism vs hate and tbh that’s a whole other conversation. but i’m okay to wait, and whilst, yes ofc it’d be fun to get a tweet or an instagram story, i bear in mind what phil said in the dml 2 video about not knowing what goes on behind the scenes because sometimes it’s things we don’t need to know and things for dan and phil to work out on their own and if that takes time away from us and them, then that’s fine, and it should be something we should all respect :)

[yona-chan]

The recent chapter is hella sad. While I feel bad for Yonhi, its clear to me she is trying to have her cake and eat it too. She feels terrible that she misjudged the priests and that led to their horrible death and what's worst her own mother committed suicide. All she wanted was a happy life despite her short live span, BUT I also feel she is really disassociating these events to try to keep the illusion of happiness she has w/ Yuhon. But to be honest she doesn't look happy.

Strong agree here anon, these latest chapters have been really sad. I too think that Yong-Hi regrets incredibly that her leaving her village/her relationship with Yu-Hon lead to so much bloodshed and the death of her mother, as well as the strain between Il and Yu-Hon reaching breaking point. But I also agree that she seems to be trying to cover up said regret with the idea that she is powerless to do anything (because she doesn’t completely understand how everything works, and the history of it all) and would have only made it worse if she stepped in... even if this way of coping is slowly dissolving with every new piece of bad news that reaches her and she questions what she can/should do. 

I feel really bad for her though. She seemed so lifeless and depressed living with the other descendants in their village, going on day by day with the knowledge that all those around her would die early, and that she would die early too - likely without feeling that she lived a fulfilled, happy life. Due to this I think it’s easy to see why she fell for Yu-Hon: he seemed so different from what she had heard, cared for his family, listened to her, actively wanted to see her, wanted to take her places and show her things. She admits that she’s never had a man court her in such a way before, so he’s really her first true love and she’s likely naive in this sense. Perhaps if she had spent more time with him and others she would have eventually seen his darker side and decided she didn’t like it, but due to her history it’s understandable that this wasn’t something she would be likely to do. I truly think she fell too hard and fast (as did he) and now she’s seeing what she couldn’t before - those darker sides not only to Yu-Hon but to the conflict between the crown and the priests that she was trying to avoid confronting. I don’t know what I’d do in her shoes - I can only imagine there must be so many voices in her head pulling her in different directions. 

On this note though, I am loving the seeming parallels we’re getting: Yong-Hi, previously isolated and now considering her naivety, who falls hard and fast for a man who turns out to have a much darker side that she anticipated (but whom she can’t help but still have feelings for for what he brought to her life); and, Yong-Hi constantly hoping Il and Yu-Hon, who themselves also represent bigger parties of the church and the crown, can come together and meet half way on issues. Imo these are great parallels to Yona’s previous isolation, naivety and love for Soo-Won, as well as to the idea that Yona will likely have to be the one to stop the cycle of hatred and meet Soo-Won half way to resolve what happened between them and their parents. 

*chef’s kiss* I love it. (But it’s also super sad to watch it all go down...)

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[dailytomlinson]

It was the morning after our staff Christmas party that I got on the horn to Louis Tomlinson.

While the entire office was munching on bacon and egg rolls and chugging coffee to revive themselves, I was in the studio, eagerly awaiting a call from the UK to chat to my favourite member of One Direction (yep, you read that correctly).

You see, unlike most folks who occasionally whack on ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ during road trip karaoke or follow Harry Styles on Instagram to stay up to date with his dazzling wardrobe, I have been a true 1D stan since day dot: X Factor.

As soon as the band was pieced together, punters began choosing their faves, most of them picking Harry and don’t get me wrong, he’s an absolute lord (I’ve literally travelled to another country to see Harry live, I’ve had his album(s) on repeat since their release and I have tons of his merch), but I was instantly enchanted by the quiet, brooding, eldest member of the band and as their popularity skyrocketed, so, too, did my love for Louis.

I guess it’s a combination of his sleek style, his dreamy eyes plus the fact that he’s sassy (his public feuds have rightfully earned him the name ‘Sass Master of Doncaster’) and also has a ‘yuge heart and loves his fans unconditionally.

So naturally when the band went on hiatus, I followed Louis’ career like a hawk and, my fellow Louis stans, our time has finally come ‘coz 2020 is going to be THE year of Louis Tomlinson.

Let me repeat that louder for the people in the back:

2020 is going to be THE year of Louis Tomlinson.

The excitement in his voice is palpable as he discusses his debut studio album Walls which drops on January 31, 2020.

“I’m quite big on lyrics, it’s important for me to be honest and real and, at times, vulnerable,” he says of the album.

“My fans already know a lot about me but hopefully I can bring them an album that shows them another side.”

This ~other side~ includes personal yarns and tales from Louis’ life as he explains that he draws inspiration “from my life events.”

“There were times in the past where I tried to write in a fictional sense, and there are a couple of songs on the album like that, but mostly I find it easier to write autobiographically.”

He adds, “Things happen to you and sometimes it might seem mundane but it makes you feel a certain way and it’s worth writing about.”

If you haven’t already listened to his latest singles, first of all what the heck is wrong with you? Second of all, go give them a listen and you’ll know exactly what he means by writing autobiographically.

He says his newest single ‘Don’t Let It Break Your Heart’ is “something that I’m definitely really proud of.”

“It’s a song trying to invoke hope, it’s about seeing the glass as half full as opposed to half empty and no matter what life throws at you, don’t let it break your heart.”

I then point out that he has a lot of positive, inspirational, anthemic bops under his belt and I ask if this is intentional.

“I think so,” he responds. “You always want to write lyrics that are relatable and inspiring, and I think songs like the song I did with Steve [Aoki] ‘Just Hold On’, it’s got the same kind of vibe of hope. I think it’s a pretty cool topic.”

He then talks me through my personal favourite, ‘We Made It.’

“It’s kind of about two things because we started out with just the title and what it meant to me in that moment was me picturing our first show of the tour and all the hard work it took me to get there and with the fans, it’s a collective, we made it here together, and that’s how the song started out,” he says.

Directioners will be happy to know that Louis doesn’t shy away from name-dropping his bandmates and when I ask him to talk me through the best moments from the past decade, he literally lists three 1D-centric mems.

“When we first got put together as a band, that was a magical moment,” he says.

“We didn’t know each other that well and we went through that whole journey together, so that was pretty special.”

“When we played Madison Square Gardens in New York, that was a pretty memorable one. All of our families came down to watch.”

And finally, “We were lucky enough to play at the Olympics which was definitely one of the proudest moments I’ve ever had, definitely.”

Speaking of performing with 1D, Louis’ forthcoming trip to Australia will be his first without his bandmates and he is, as he put it, “proper excited to come back.”

“The gigs [in Oz] are always incredible and also for any Brit, it’s the ultimate dream to travel to Australia.”

But punters who have been lucky enough to see a One Direction show in their lifetime should expect a very, very different vibe from Tomlinson now that he’s flying solo (~obviously~).

“It’s not going to be a massive production with any gimmicks, it’s just going to be pretty straightforward. Just a good live show focusing on music and hopefully we’ll have a good night.”

Going from touring with his besties to being on the road by himself (and the backing band, of course) is bound to be a huge adjustment that Louis plans on easing into.

“I like creating normality [on the road], I just like to be sat with mates chatting, listening to music and then head out onto stage.”

He also gave me this lil tidbit about his travelling style, which should come as no surprise to the die-hards.

“I’m notoriously a really bad packer, I always leave with not enough clothes and not enough things that I need.”

But while he’s often short a pair of sneakers or a sweater or two, he always makes sure to pack the essentials.

“I like to take tea bags with me on tour. You can’t get a good cup of tea everywhere so it’s important to travel with your own.”

Which prompts me to ask about his thoughts on our tea Down Under.

“It’s good, yeah! It’s good,” he assures me.

So now that we’ve discussed what 2020 will look like for him (including starting his sophomore album in the second half of the year!), along with his highlights from the last decade, I’m eager to know what his plans are for the next decade.

Brace yourselves for the response…

“Fucking hell, I’m not that good at thinking far ahead,” he immediately quips. Legit, there’s nothing I love more than when celebs drop an F word in an interview. It shows that they’re not doing the super-polished, media-trained thing and they’re happy just being themselves.

Frankly, if Louis didn’t swear in the interview, I would’ve been convinced that he’d been abducted by aliens and replaced with a cyborg. But you’ll be happy to know that in our nine-minute convo, he swore a grand total of three times which is a great score, IMO.

But anyway, back to the question at hand.

“Hopefully still making music, still making albums. My intention is to get better as a songwriter with every album, so hopefully still making music and still touring.”

We wrap up our good old chinwag with a message to his fans, particularly the Aussies who he’ll finally be treating to his angel voice when he plays the Big Top in Sydney and the Palais Theatre in Melbourne in April.

[talesfrombeyondthebelly]

“Come into my parlor,” Said the spider to the fish.

I know I’m not great at titles but oh well. This is an Eri.Vr.is oral vore fic! Mainly because I’ve been doing some rps and been caught up in the great dynamic they have imo. This is a sfw fic, but again it is a vore fic so if you turn away I won’t be offended. That said, I hope you enjoy and I’m always open to criticism!

There would be an unceremonious sigh that would come from a certain violet blooded sea dweller as he fiddled with the pieces for his latest scheme to exterminate all the land dwellers. Or at least, that would be what he had claimed he was doing, he never truly planned to execute it both due to lack of ambition and the resources. Really, the boasting and bragging about what he planned to do wasn’t as much of a threat as he liked to claim it was, and truly it was more along the lines of a need for attention than any true plans of committal. 

It had been a slow night for one Eridan Ampora, and having wasted most of it attempting to message any troll to either gossip with three of them or spew some rhetoric he didn’t fully believe. But even then, all that was accomplished was that he was being ignored while he vied for attention. All that was left was to stay cooped inside and rewatch old documentaries as he idly fiddled with historical figure memorabilia.

That was, it was all he had to do until someone had decided to free him from his self-isolation.

AG: Heeeeeeeey, Eridan. ::::) 

The sea dweller would squint, he didn’t think his rival would message him after deciding not to message her first. They had broken up when they were six sweeps due to him boring and overbearing; but some time after they turned seven sweeps, Eridan’s attempts to renew their rivalry would pay off after much work and effort. And now they had been going strong even after they hit nine sweeps old.

However, he would roll his eyes at the sight, he knew her innocent seeming spider smile was anything but.

CA: wwhat do you wwant you cerulean blowwhard dont you knoww im busy AG: I’m hurt! After all I went through to check on my dear rival! I would have thought he liked someone giving him attention. AG: Oh well! Guess I’ll just leave you to your devices seeing how you’re *so* busy, CA: god damn it wwait CA: okay maybe i got a bit of an openin in my schedule to wwaste time wwith you AG: Please! The only one who’s going to be wasting their time is me, we 8oth know you’re pro8a8ly doing something 8oring like watching one of your lame documentaries. CA: theyre not LAME theyre goin to be your miserable dirt munchin dowwnfall soon enough AG: Oh???????? 8old claim from you Ampora. Seeing how I know you’re dead wrong. AG: Anyway! You’re coming over to my hive today right? AG: Why am I even asking? You o8viously forgot. CA: i didnt forget i totally fuckin remembered our meeting at your stupid and completely ridiculous hivve AG: It’s not stupid! What’s stupid is the fishbreath who 8uilt his hive surrounded 8y the ocean when he 8arely spends any time in the water. AG: Whatever, just come over. I’m not waiting all day for your dum8ass. CA: ugh fuckin fine CA: you still havvent told me wwhat specifically you wwanted to do ovver there anywway AG : :::;)

And with that, the conversation was brought to an end. Eridan would rub his temples, her purposely vague answer meant any number of things, usually which ended in his embarrassment in one way or the other. Of course, it was better to just go over as soon as possible rather than him wasting time by speculating, even if he did plan to make her wait to purposely be fashionably late. Something to put his pompous attitude on display. Soon enough, Eridan would don his scarf and cape before leaving his hive and embarking on the trip to Vriska’s.

The trip wasn’t terribly long, mainly because traversing through the ocean was far from an issue and her home conveniently overlooked the sea. Even so, Eridan would hold make sure to wait for an extra amount of time for no reason than to uphold the gesture that he was royalty. Feeling accomplished with his amazingly petty task, he would approach the door and knock a few times before waiting for her to answer as he dried himself off as he uncaptchalogued a few towels.

Vriska would answer the door surprisingly quickly, having not had the patience to return his petty actions before pulling him inside and closing the door behind them both. The expression on her face was blatant annoyance, but that was far from the norm regardless if it was actual exasperation or not. Eridan would up look at the other troll with a frown, even since they had gotten older he would find that she had sky rocketed past him in height. He had been a respectable  height of nearly six feet, while she had him beat by additional four feet, much to his unending irritation and to her endless amusement.

“You’re late. Even after I went and so kindly reminded you of our little arrangement. Well, I guess everything’s little to me when you’re short, but the point stands.” “yeah yeah keep braggin vvris i wwas towwerin ovver you before-” “Sure, you had a few inches on me when we were six! But now we’re nine and you’re still short, how do you explain that, hm?” That would cause him to shut up rather quickly, though he would dart his eyes around and attempt to come up with a retort, only to fold his arms and huff soon after. It wasn’t uncommon for trolls to grow as much as she did, but the fact that he wasn’t one of them meant that  discussions of height were biased in her favor. Her ten feet tall favor. His violet eyes would eventually return to her cerulean ones, there had been smile on her face, one that reeked of mischievous intent. Before he could open his mouth to question her intentions, she would cover his mouth with her hand, and some of his face as a natural consequence of the difference in size between them.

“Alright Ampora, shut up for a minute and listen. I had you come over because I had a proposition that’s going to 8enefit 8oth of us. Here’s the deal: You got two minutes to hide somewhere, and I’m going to seek you out. If I can’t find you in 8 minutes, you win! And if you pick somewhere dum8 and I find you, I win! And the loser has to do whateeeeeeeever the winner wants! Sound good? ::::)”

Eridan would try to speak his response, only for Vriska to keep her hand pressed against his face, only pulling back once he felt something wet trail along it. Irritation making itself apparent with a scoff, she would return the favor by grabbing one of his hands, sticking out her tongue and  slowly pressing the wet muscle against the other troll’s hand in a rather long lick before finally letting him go. His hand utterly drenched in saliva, Eridan’s face would scrunch up as he shook his hand dry while a small tinge of violet came across his face. It made her brief taste of him all the more delicious. 

“for fucks sake fine ill WWIN your stupid land suckin game and then wwe can do somethin wway less ridiculous and more dignified afterwwards” His statement was spoken with his usual amount of sea dweller pompous pride, even if the chips were stacked against him. Even so, he held his head up high and puffed his chest out, not about to turn down a challenge that was surely easy enough to win. She had a castle, there must have been plenty of places to hide.

“Good! Now get going Eridan, unless you want to 8e 8oring and lame and make this too easy.” She’d give him a wink, teasing him over her self-assured victory and a lick of her lips. She had no problem hinting at what she wanted to do once she won, it made it fun to see him squirm.

He’d pause for a moment and confidence turned into brief uncertainty in less than a minute, “wwait you mean right noww i havvent fuckin evven gotten to-” He cuts himself off as he sees her turn away and start to count, realizing that she wasn’t even going to wait for him to prepare himself. He’d scramble off, the sea dweller handling himself incredibly well on land even when he’s running around wearing a rather long cape. 

He wasn’t used to hiding as he was often hunting for the sake of Feferi’s lusus, but he would certainly try his hand at it to the best of his ability. Of course, his first two attempts were less than idea, having run to the very bottom of her hive to try and disguise himself by burying himself under her pile of miscellaneous belongings, only to realize he was shifting too much. He’d then decide to try his hand at hiding on one of the upper floors, deciding that hiding behind her pile of treasure would have been an unlikely spot seeing how he resented her various wins against him during their FLARP sessions. Unfortunately, this would prevent him from hiding there for long, as he does grow irritated looking at her spoils and decided to leave before it caused those pitch feelings to flair too much. Ultimately, he would decide to hide somewhere so obvious, Vriska would never think to check. He was confident in this idea, so much so that he decided to take it easy and relax in his new found spot, all he had to do now was wait 8 minutes and win. He means eight.

Vriska, predictably, did not count the entirety of two minutes before she began her hunt. Rather, she stopped once she got to eighty eight and decided that was enough for her. When she turned around, she half expected Eridan to standing right there out of spite and stubbornness about the whole thing but to her delight the violet blood was playing along. The question was where to find him, if she had to guess, it was probably somewhere dumb, like him. And so her very first guess was her trophy room, because of course he would think she’d skip over her own hoard of treasure to look for him. But upon making her way up the many stairs to check, she would find not a hair of him to found. She was a bit annoyed her first guess wasn’t right, but she had extra time to spare and her next guess would most certainly be right.

Except it wouldn’t The next room would be devoid of Eridan, and the next and the next. It would seem that no matter where she searched, he was nowhere to be found, it raise her irritation with him, and with it her hunger. The stomach of the ten foot cerulean would grumble as she briefly put a hand on it and huffed, she had to give her rival credit, he was doing a good job at making her work for this. And here she thought she’d grab an easy snack. But the warranty of it was  wearing off as time passed on, even with her head start, it would seem that Eridan was safe wherever he had chosen to hide. She couldn’t allow this to happen, she had planned for this all to go a certain way, and the fact that it wasn’t was unacceptable. Annoyed, she’d retire to her block for a moment, purely for the sake of trying not to get too caught up and at least try to remain rational about this. Only a minute to go, there wasn’t much time left, and Vriska was certain she had searched about every place there was to offer. Unless...

Without a word, Vriska would approach her wardrobe dresser, there was no way he’d hide in there right? It’d be dumb and stupid and completely ridiculous! Well, she didn’t have time, so she would ultimately waste not a moment more as she ripped open the doors to her wardrobe and... found her prize. Eridan for one was shocked with the sudden burst of light and appearance of Vriska, who apparently been frustrated looking for him. He wishes he could have seen the whole experience, but from the noises she made he got his fair share of entertainment. “8h my g8d, r8ally!!!!!!!! Y8u hid in my wardr88e????????” There was an unending amount of vitriol pouring from Vriska now, irritation at herself and him were flowing freely, and despite Eridan’s surprise, he would waste no time in displaying adjusting himself and nodding, “of course i hid here because i thought youd fuckin ovverlook it seein howw all your attire is plain as SHIT and it wworked just god damn fine seein howw a certain obnoxious glory lovvin troll took forEVVER to find me-” He would step out with a large amount of pride, quite certain he had won, only for his eyes  to dart over to the clock in her room and his face would immediately fall. She had found him with ten seconds to spare. “wwell fuck”

Vriska would try to take a moment to herself to not have too radical an outburst, she was upset, but she also wanted to savor her prize. The expression on Eridan’s face certainly helped “Wwell fuck is right! I win! And that meeeeeeeeans you have to do what I want, and I think we both know what that is.” A chill would go down his spine, while Eridan could be clueless at times, she had given him more than enough hints as to what she wanted. It certainly hadn’t been the first time they had done such a thing, but it was more than a bit embarrassing for him, which made give her some push back on the idea. “are you fuckin kiddin vvris you didnt say anythin about this bein your prize-” “Don’t 8e coy!” She’d interrupt him immediately, taking a step closer to him as he took a step back. “ I made it plenty clear! 8esides! I win, and you agreed to the terms right? It’s only fair I get what I’m promised.” 

Another step forward and he’d take another few steps back and bump into the wall behind him, Vriska smirking as she’d get closer to him, their bodies practically touching as she leaned down towards him and her lips would slowly part, strands of saliva breaking apart as he start down that cerulean abyss, taking a few teasing swallows as she inched closer before letting her warm breath washing over him and fogging up his glasses.  A few drops of drool would fall into his face before she’d close her mouth pull away, letting the situation sink in for the sea dweller as well as calm herself down, she may have had a bit of cerulean tint her cheeks in the same manner violet tinted his. Eating someone in this manner was embarrassing after all, which was why she’d only do it in private, not that she’d ever admit it out loud. Eridan had similarly shared the sentiment on the other side of the spectrum.

While embarrassment would go around on both ends, the sea dweller still contemplated making a run for it; the thought of being consumed always did trigger a fight or flight instinct, regardless of the fact that she probably wouldn’t digest him. Before he can even make an attempt however, his body is kept in place by hands on his shoulders, she had decided that she wasn’t going to give him the chance to scramble off and hide again, “I hope you’re ready, because you’re going to be in there for a while~” She would lean in again, salivating as she brought herself closer yet as her jaws widened to accept her meal. Slow warm breaths would beat against his skin as she drew tantalizingly close, all the while the fish troll would gulp nervously.

Instinctively, he would press his hands against her face as she started to lean in, he wasn’t about to let his hatemate have her meal without at least giving some fight back. One hand on her top lip and the other on her bottom, there’d be some push back as she slowly closed the distance between them yet again, it was a losing fight on his end as the predator drew closer and closer, letting him stare once again into her mouth before her tongue would slide out to press against his face and trail upwards, taking his glasses with it and causing him to loosen his hold. It was all he needed give the spider troll all the leeway she needed. Before he can even think about his mistake, she would jolt forward and wrap her lips around his neck, sealing him inside the jaws of the ever hungry troll. A hum of approval would resonate around the noble of troll royalty, reveling in the taste of victory and her meal, saliva being thoroughly slathered across his face during his various attempts to voice insults and protests. Though that wouldn’t stop him from trying. 

While it was certainly dark in the other’s mouth, being a nocturnal species meant that Eridan could see each and every detail as she made sure to truly make him squirm. It wouldn’t be long before she’d take the first swallow, letting his glasses slide along her tongue before they were unceremoniously pulled down her gullet Of course. with that swallow, he would be brought only a short distance away from the opening in her throat, as his shoulders would be brought in next. Her teeth would be pressed against his clothes to  keep him in place as his struggles and attempts to free himself grew stronger despite the situation going in the opposite direction for him. Her tongue would waste no time in running over the formerly dry parts of the troll, drenching the top of his shirt as drool as she decided to move on with her meal and take the gulp that would trap him inside her throat and bulge it out with his struggling form.

His head now captured in a pulsating throat, Vriska can continue her meal in confidence he won’t wiggle out. Her hands would move to keep his arms pinned to his sides as she moved further down his body, a hum flowing freely as she continued this consumption of him. Drool would pool in her mouth and dripping down as his chest was next to slide between her jaws as Eridan was tugged further down her throat, slightly bulging it out as he defiantly tried to move it around. Her tongue was relentless in running along the fabric she brought into her mouth, it was a bit tasteless and bland, and she regrets not shredding the shirt when she had the chance, but she ultimately makes do. Mainly by lapping at the shirt to lubricate it before taking another swallow, sending him further down the slimy gullet.

Her lips and fangs now reach his hips, and his stomach is safely contained within her mouth. Now she could have a bit more fun with him. Her tongue would curl under the bottom of his shirt to gain access to his skin yet again, an unadulterated groan escaping her to make it well known how much she just enjoyed this feeling, the noises ringing through his ears amidst his own grunts and swears. She’d stop her swallowing for a moment, reveling in the taste and wanting him to squirm a bit longer for her and attempt to fight back against the intrusive tongue as it rubbed against him,  only to end up rubbing his body more against the wet muscle, her taste buds gets all the flavor she could ever want. What probably gets the biggest reaction from her is when she gives attention to his grub scars, which are oddly enough, pretty delicious for a reason she couldn’t quite explain. But they do elicit some sounds from Eridan was well, mainly increasingly flustered insults as he keeps kicking wildly. It was quite enjoyable a feeling if she were to be honest.

While she could have kept slathering, lapping and sucking on him for a considerable amount of time, a sudden loud growl would emerge from her stomach, reminding her that she was quite hungry still. And so, she’d wrap her hands around his legs to keep them still as the next series of gulps condemned the violetblood to his fate. There would be only the briefest moment where she would remove his shoes before finally sealing the deal, tracing the last of the troll’s form down with one hand as she pushed him down to her stomach. A long sigh would come out of her as she laid on back and massage her now bloated stomach. It was a lot of work to get him down and she was blue in the face, but she had done it. She could feel him fighting and hear his complaints both of which were more than annoying when she was trying to relax, but damn, it was always satisfying to do this. 

 Eridan, for his part, always had conflicting feelings about this. His face flushed violet and his entire body was absolutely drenched in ever warm saliva, it and he was now surrounded by a brilliant shade of blue that made up her stomach walls. He attempt to push and stretch it to its limits and cause her indigestion as a form of revenge, but all he would be met with was a few gurgles as the stomach churned around him. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he was going to be digested, otherwise he would have been splashing stomach acids all over him from his struggles, instead of other contents in her stomach. It included a few eight balls and dice, unsurprisingly. Despite his best efforts, he would only slightly stretch out her grey skin as Vriska could see her bloated stomach wiggling and bulging with his form, she was content to keep him in there.

It would be a few minutes before Eridan’s protests would die down and he’d resign himself for now as he attempt to get comfortable against the soft stomach lining that surrounded him. As embarrassing as this had been, he had expending his stamina and his frustration dying down to contempt. It would allow her to relax a bit more and close her eyes. She thinks she’s going to take a nap before they do anything else. She might let him out later but for now, this was just another mark of victory for her. It was fun, they’ll have to do this again sooner rather than later.

[louistomlinsoncouk]

It was the morning after our staff Christmas party that I got on the horn to Louis Tomlinson.

While the entire office was munching on bacon and egg rolls and chugging coffee to revive themselves, I was in the studio, eagerly awaiting a call from the UK to chat to my favourite member of One Direction (yep, you read that correctly).

You see, unlike most folks who occasionally whack on ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ during road trip karaoke or follow Harry Styles on Instagram to stay up to date with his dazzling wardrobe, I have been a true 1D stan since day dot: X Factor.

As soon as the band was pieced together, punters began choosing their faves, most of them picking Harry and don’t get me wrong, he’s an absolute lord (I’ve literally travelled to another country to see Harry live, I’ve had his album(s) on repeat since their release and I have tons of his merch), but I was instantly enchanted by the quiet, brooding, eldest member of the band and as their popularity skyrocketed, so, too, did my love for Louis.

I guess it’s a combination of his sleek style, his dreamy eyes plus the fact that he’s sassy (his public feuds have rightfully earned him the name ‘Sass Master of Doncaster’) and also has a ‘yuge heart and loves his fans unconditionally.

So naturally when the band went on hiatus, I followed Louis’ career like a hawk and, my fellow Louis stans, our time has finally come ‘coz 2020 is going to be THE year of Louis Tomlinson.

Let me repeat that louder for the people in the back:

2020 is going to be THE year of Louis Tomlinson.

The excitement in his voice is palpable as he discusses his debut studio album Walls which drops on January 31, 2020.

“I’m quite big on lyrics, it’s important for me to be honest and real and, at times, vulnerable,” he says of the album.

“My fans already know a lot about me but hopefully I can bring them an album that shows them another side.”

This ~other side~ includes personal yarns and tales from Louis’ life as he explains that he draws inspiration “from my life events.”

“There were times in the past where I tried to write in a fictional sense, and there are a couple of songs on the album like that, but mostly I find it easier to write autobiographically.”

He adds, “Things happen to you and sometimes it might seem mundane but it makes you feel a certain way and it’s worth writing about.”

If you haven’t already listened to his latest singles, first of all what the heck is wrong with you? Second of all, go give them a listen and you’ll know exactly what he means by writing autobiographically.

He says his newest single ‘Don’t Let It Break Your Heart’ is “something that I’m definitely really proud of.”

“It’s a song trying to invoke hope, it’s about seeing the glass as half full as opposed to half empty and no matter what life throws at you, don’t let it break your heart.”

I then point out that he has a lot of positive, inspirational, anthemic bops under his belt and I ask if this is intentional.

“I think so,” he responds. “You always want to write lyrics that are relatable and inspiring, and I think songs like the song I did with Steve [Aoki] ‘Just Hold On’, it’s got the same kind of vibe of hope. I think it’s a pretty cool topic.”

He then talks me through my personal favourite, ‘We Made It.’

“It’s kind of about two things because we started out with just the title and what it meant to me in that moment was me picturing our first show of the tour and all the hard work it took me to get there and with the fans, it’s a collective, we made it here together, and that’s how the song started out,” he says.

Directioners will be happy to know that Louis doesn’t shy away from name-dropping his bandmates and when I ask him to talk me through the best moments from the past decade, he literally lists three 1D-centric mems.

“When we first got put together as a band, that was a magical moment,” he says.

“We didn’t know each other that well and we went through that whole journey together, so that was pretty special.”

“When we played Madison Square Gardens in New York, that was a pretty memorable one. All of our families came down to watch.”

And finally, “We were lucky enough to play at the Olympics which was definitely one of the proudest moments I’ve ever had, definitely.”

Speaking of performing with 1D, Louis’ forthcoming trip to Australia will be his first without his bandmates and he is, as he put it, “proper excited to come back.”

“The gigs [in Oz] are always incredible and also for any Brit, it’s the ultimate dream to travel to Australia.”

But punters who have been lucky enough to see a One Direction show in their lifetime should expect a very, very different vibe from Tomlinson now that he’s flying solo (~obviously~).

“It’s not going to be a massive production with any gimmicks, it’s just going to be pretty straightforward. Just a good live show focusing on music and hopefully we’ll have a good night.”

Going from touring with his besties to being on the road by himself (and the backing band, of course) is bound to be a huge adjustment that Louis plans on easing into.

“I like creating normality [on the road], I just like to be sat with mates chatting, listening to music and then head out onto stage.”

He also gave me this lil tidbit about his travelling style, which should come as no surprise to the die-hards.

“I’m notoriously a really bad packer, I always leave with not enough clothes and not enough things that I need.”

But while he’s often short a pair of sneakers or a sweater or two, he always makes sure to pack the essentials.

“I like to take tea bags with me on tour. You can’t get a good cup of tea everywhere so it’s important to travel with your own.”

Which prompts me to ask about his thoughts on our tea Down Under.

“It’s good, yeah! It’s good,” he assures me.

So now that we’ve discussed what 2020 will look like for him (including starting his sophomore album in the second half of the year!), along with his highlights from the last decade, I’m eager to know what his plans are for the next decade.

Brace yourselves for the response…

“Fucking hell, I’m not that good at thinking far ahead,” he immediately quips. Legit, there’s nothing I love more than when celebs drop an F word in an interview. It shows that they’re not doing the super-polished, media-trained thing and they’re happy just being themselves.

Frankly, if Louis didn’t swear in the interview, I would’ve been convinced that he’d been abducted by aliens and replaced with a cyborg. But you’ll be happy to know that in our nine-minute convo, he swore a grand total of three times which is a great score, IMO.

But anyway, back to the question at hand.

“Hopefully still making music, still making albums. My intention is to get better as a songwriter with every album, so hopefully still making music and still touring.”

We wrap up our good old chinwag with a message to his fans, particularly the Aussies who he’ll finally be treating to his angel voice when he plays the Big Top in Sydney and the Palais Theatre in Melbourne in April.

“Massive thank you for your patience and your support. I’m so excited to release the album. I’m as excited, if not more, to come and see everyone on tour so thanks for your love and I’ll see you on tour.”

Final tickets for Louis Tomlinson’s debut Australian tour are available now via livenation.com.au.

[elceeu2morrow]

By Matt Galea  18/12/2019

It was the morning after our staff Christmas party that I got on the horn to Louis Tomlinson.

While the entire office was munching on bacon and egg rolls and chugging coffee to revive themselves, I was in the studio, eagerly awaiting a call from the UK to chat to my favourite member of One Direction (yep, you read that correctly).

You see, unlike most folks who occasionally whack on ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ during road trip karaoke or follow Harry Styles on Instagram to stay up to date with his dazzling wardrobe, I have been a true 1D stan since day dot: X Factor.

As soon as the band was pieced together, punters began choosing their faves, most of them picking Harry and don’t get me wrong, he’s an absolute lord (I’ve literally travelled to another country to see Harry live, I’ve had his album(s) on repeat since their release and I have tons of his merch), but I was instantly enchanted by the quiet, brooding, eldest member of the band and as their popularity skyrocketed, so, too, did my love for Louis.

I guess it’s a combination of his sleek style, his dreamy eyes plus the fact that he’s sassy (his public feuds have rightfully earned him the name ‘Sass Master of Doncaster’) and also has a ‘yuge heart and loves his fans unconditionally.

So naturally when the band went on hiatus, I followed Louis’ career like a hawk and, my fellow Louis stans, our time has finally come ‘coz 2020 is going to be THE year of Louis Tomlinson.

Let me repeat that louder for the people in the back:

2020 is going to be THE year of Louis Tomlinson.

The excitement in his voice is palpable as he discusses his debut studio album Walls which drops on January 31, 2020.

“I’m quite big on lyrics, it’s important for me to be honest and real and, at times, vulnerable,” he says of the album.

“My fans already know a lot about me but hopefully I can bring them an album that shows them another side.

”This ~other side~ includes personal yarns and tales from Louis’ life as he explains that he draws inspiration “from my life events.

“There were times in the past where I tried to write in a fictional sense, and there are a couple of songs on the album like that, but mostly I find it easier to write autobiographically.”

He adds, “Things happen to you and sometimes it might seem mundane but it makes you feel a certain way and it’s worth writing about.”

If you haven’t already listened to his latest singles, first of all what the heck is wrong with you? Second of all, go give them a listen and you’ll know exactly what he means by writing autobiographically.

He says his newest single ‘Don’t Let It Break Your Heart’ is “something that I’m definitely really proud of.”

“It’s a song trying to invoke hope, it’s about seeing the glass as half full as opposed to half empty and no matter what life throws at you, don’t let it break your heart.”

I then point out that he has a lot of positive, inspirational, anthemic bops under his belt and I ask if this is intentional.

“I think so,” he responds. “You always want to write lyrics that are relatable and inspiring, and I think songs like the song I did with Steve [Aoki] ‘Just Hold On’, it’s got the same kind of vibe of hope. I think it’s a pretty cool topic.”

He then talks me through my personal favourite, ‘We Made It.’

“It’s kind of about two things because we started out with just the title and what it meant to me in that moment was me picturing our first show of the tour and all the hard work it took me to get there and with the fans, it’s a collective, we made it here together, and that’s how the song started out,” he says.

“And then in the verse you have to add a bit more of a story so we’re talking about me going to visit my girlfriend at the university halls while I was on tour with the boys, so I was going off that dynamic.”

Directioners will be happy to know that Louis doesn’t shy away from name-dropping his bandmates and when I ask him to talk me through the best moments from the past decade, he literally lists three 1D-centric mems.

“When we first got put together as a band, that was a magical moment,” he says.

“We didn’t know each other that well and we went through that whole journey together, so that was pretty special.”

“When we played Madison Square Gardens in New York, that was a pretty memorable one. All of our families came down to watch.”

And finally, “We were lucky enough to play at the Olympics which was definitely one of the proudest moments I’ve ever had, definitely.”

Speaking of performing with 1D, Louis’ forthcoming trip to Australia will be his first without his bandmates and he is, as he put it, “proper excited to come back.”

“The gigs [in Oz] are always incredible and also for any Brit, it’s the ultimate dream to travel to Australia.”

But punters who have been lucky enough to see a One Direction show in their lifetime should expect a very, very different vibe from Tomlinson now that he’s flying solo (~obviously~).

“It’s not going to be a massive production with any gimmicks, it’s just going to be pretty straightforward. Just a good live show focusing on music and hopefully we’ll have a good night.”

Going from touring with his besties to being on the road by himself (and the backing band, of course) is bound to be a huge adjustment that Louis plans on easing into.

“I like creating normality [on the road], I just like to be sat with mates chatting, listening to music and then head out onto stage.”

He also gave me this lil tidbit about his travelling style, which should come as no surprise to the die-hards.

“I’m notoriously a really bad packer, I always leave with not enough clothes and not enough things that I need.”

But while he’s often short a pair of sneakers or a sweater or two, he always makes sure to pack the essentials.

“I like to take tea bags with me on tour. You can’t get a good cup of tea everywhere so it’s important to travel with your own.”

Which prompts me to ask about his thoughts on our tea Down Under.

“It’s good, yeah! It’s good,” he assures me.

So now that we’ve discussed what 2020 will look like for him (including starting his sophomore album in the second half of the year!), along with his highlights from the last decade, I’m eager to know what his plans are for the next decade.

Brace yourselves for the response…

“Fucking hell, I’m not that good at thinking far ahead,” he immediately quips. Legit, there’s nothing I love more than when celebs drop an F word in an interview. It shows that they’re not doing the super-polished, media-trained thing and they’re happy just being themselves.

Frankly, if Louis didn’t swear in the interview, I would’ve been convinced that he’d been abducted by aliens and replaced with a cyborg. But you’ll be happy to know that in our nine-minute convo, he swore a grand total of three times which is a great score, IMO.

But anyway, back to the question at hand.

“Hopefully still making music, still making albums. My intention is to get better as a songwriter with every album, so hopefully still making music and still touring.”

We wrap up our good old chinwag with a message to his fans, particularly the Aussies who he’ll finally be treating to his angel voice when he plays the Big Top in Sydney and the Palais Theatre in Melbourne in April.

“Massive thank you for your patience and your support. I’m so excited to release the album. I’m as excited, if not more, to come and see everyone on tour so thanks for your love and I’ll see you on tour.”

Final tickets for Louis Tomlinson’s debut Australian tour are available now via livenation.com.au.

SAT APR 25 – BIG TOP, SYDNEY

MON APR 27 – PALAIS THEATRE, MELBOURNE

[icharchivist]

No evidence for it. But what if Lavi is the abandoned son of the Heart accomodator? The Heart accomodator could have been a bookman who left Lavi behind to perform their duty. His eye gives him a special connection to the Heart or has a piece of it in him hiding. Considering Noah hate the Heart and it's accomodator this would give some irony to the fact only Lavi is 2nd to Allen in nasty Noah confrontations. If CC is part of the Heart to itd add more irony to how Allen gave Lavi his heart back.-

2 basically the Heart accomodator had Lavi has extra insurance in case something happened to them then the Heart could maybe jump to Lavi as its new vessel. Allen received the active sentient piece of the Heart that carries its will/power. Lavi has a dormat and subtle piece in his eye that has other abilities. Lavi is less important as Allen however. He was suppose to be a neutral and hide away. But who knows maybe Wisely did something to accidentally cause Lavi to unveil his eye. A eye he has-

3 has no idea of its true source/origin. He only knows he's a little afraid to confront it. But who knows. I just kind of see Lavi the same as Allen (in my hcs). Two boys who got abandoned or used by their mystery birth parents. =/

Ah, i like your way of thinking nonny :’D 

There is absolutly no basis in canon for that but i admit i really love the idea. But to be fair i'm just very easily manipulated by the possibility of more thematical parallelism with Allen. 

Because when you think about it, like you said: Allen got abandonned by his father in a way, and what did Mana end up giving him? A part of dark matter behind Allen’s left eye. And Mana? Is in fact the Earl himself. So the exact same scenario? of Lavi getting a part of an innocence into his right eye as he’s being abandonned, and it being in fact a part of the Heart?

That’d serve a lot for characters parallelisms that would be very fun imo. Also the things we can take into account is that The Earl didn’t put a part of him in Allen on purpose despite Nea being there as well. So i could also see perhaps the Heart not put its part on purpose on Lavi, which would also have a dramatic irony as a parallel to the one the Heart would have put on purpose on Allen. 

Besides imo it could also work with my personal theory that the previous/official accomodator is Katerina if we don’t take her for Lavi’s birthmother but as a member of the Bookman clan who might have been like a mother for others apprentice. After All, Mana wasn’t Allen’s birthfather, and we know the Campbell have ties with the Bookman. Besides, another parallelism here could be brought: of Mana coming closer to Allen because of the part of Nea inside of him, and Katerina going to a future possible Bookman would LostApprentice!Allen be true. Mana could seek Allen out to find his brother, while Katerina could seek a Bookman out to understand how one could get this close to her son and drift their way.

.... but that’s just my own theories thrown into the mix ahah, i guess i just like that this theory doesn’t disprove them but kinda make them even more interesting.

Also Lavi being a sort of insurance for the Heart while Allen is alive would be.. pretty sad if Lost Apprentice theory, because therefore Lavi would have been picked for that eye and it was that that served as an insurance to become a Bookman. If the Heart put it into Lavi just in case Allen doesn’t manage the path, there is an irony in the fact that by doing so, Lavi took back where the Lost Apprentice left off.

Boy i don’t know if i manage to word it but basically i could see a lot of parallelism building in between them due to that and that would be pretty heartbreaking. 

........ oh no wait wait wait.

Meanwhile we have our Current Allen who started his life as Nea’s vessel, and the Heart immediatly put a parasyte Innocence on him. Meanwhile would Lavi have started his life with a piece of Heart inside of him, now he’s currently being affected by Noah’s parasytes due to Fiidora. Both would have started out with a part inside of them (Heart/Noah) but be infected with the other later (Paraside/Innocence)

tbh I feel like i’m gasping at straws and i reaaally don’t think there’s enough bias in canon for that per se, but if those... misconnected points inspire you to perhaps try to connect them?  I mean i’m a sucker for parallel writting between Lavi and Allen, that’s not me who’s going to discourage you.

I reaaally don’t know how to theorize about how the Noah would feel realizing what’s underneath Lavi’s eyepatch though and wouldn’t be sure until we know what’s underneath so i won’t comment further on that even if Wisely apparently knows something according to the latest Komui Corner. 

Meanwhile we also don’t know how family works in the Clan specifically. We don’t even know if Bookman and Lavi are actually blood related. Even if Bookman do bring up Lavi got his good looks from him in a bonus, I would say it’s rather unlikely if only then because what are the odds the succession for Bookman was not something he would have been considered for without his eye? Unless if the clan is running with possible apprentices froom Bookman’s bloodline but that raises huuundreds of creepy questions. and personally i do prefer the idea that it’s more an adopted bound, even from a more insular community as the Clan, a lot more in parallelism to others adopted characters.But even there if Bookman is the blood father of whoever are Lavi’s parents, it’s clear we know nothing about them and Lavi had never mentioned anything about them. 

This is a whooole other can of worm about how the Clan might function. (tbh I could see the Clan be a bit like the institude in Death Note, to form “L’s successors” : this orphanage were no real emotional bounds is encouraged because they’re all a bit competing to either be the successor, or to help out. Even if blood relaed I would see the emotional distance make it through so that perhaps Parents raise less their children and they are more a question of collective? So many questions. And if with theory as well can work with the sort of environment Allen was raisen into in the circus)

..... Everytime i start to talk in depth about the Clan though I feel like i’m always expecting the worst case scenario. 

so yeah wouldn’t bet on this theory tbh, not with the fundation we have in canon, but as far as it goes it would work well as thematic parallelisms go. If not a Theory at least a very interesting AU or possibility? 

Thank you for sharing it! ;3c

[skania]

Hi Skania, just like you I am so excited to have our girl back in the picture for the latest Kuro chapter...her face indeed :( so quick question, is it also kind of significant that o!ciel called her 'Elizabeth' instead of Lizzy, like that's how it was translated and it also broke my heart because it further cements that he can't hide anymore and that he won't be able to face her like he did before and perhaps it will also hurt Lizzy to be called that way, further reminding her of the truth.

Hello anon! Thank you for all your messages, I really enjoyed your opinion and I’m glad we’re both on the same page!

Regarding how O!Ciel calls her, he actually normally calls her “Elizabeth” in the manga even while he was posing as his brother. That’s why we always had Lizzy asking him to call her “Lizzy” instead. However, it’s true that it’s become quite the blurry point because the English scanlations didn’t always respect this and sometimes translated his “Elizabeth” as “Lizzy”.

I would actually love to have the input of a Japanese fan on this, or maybe someone with the raws, to know for sure just how often O!Ciel slipped and called her “Lizzy” instead of the usual “Elizabeth”. If I remember correctly, he did call her “Lizzy” when he screamed out her name back when he thought she was going to be eaten by the zombie. So, it’d be super sweet if he actually slips and calls her by her surname whenever his feelings get the best of him lol

Regarding R!Ciel, as you know I’m posing myself the very same questions you are. I agree with @midnight-in-town and all the brilliant people who have pointed out that given that R!Ciel is a Bizarre Doll, he is most likely moving out of his hopes for the future, which were to be with his twin forever. So, it’s likely he really is doing all this only out of his twisted love for O!Ciel. However, the stuff like the awful message on the wall were far from pleasant from his side lol So if he turns out to be resentful of his twins’s newfound independance, it’d be pretty amazing imo.

As for Undertaker, he’s the biggest mystery in all of this to be honest. I have no idea what his game-plan is beside his obsessive attachment to the Phantomhives. I’d like to think that he’s got a plan in mind to somehow mess up the contract between Sebastian and O!Ciel (though for now I have no idea how that would work), but given that he seems to see no difference between someone “alive” and “dead”, he may truly not care about all the troubles this may cause to O!Ciel as long as there are more Phantomhives around. Unless, if The Real Ciel Mastermind theory does come to fruition (which I hope for), and Undertaker does know and care about R!C’s involvement in it… perhaps he brought him back so he could, in some measure, contribute his piece of the puzzle and help put that to rest. Honestly, I’m just brains-storming right here because Undertaker is way too hard to read for now lol

In either case, I’m really looking forward to how all this will play out, too!

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

10x05 “Fan Fiction” // 11x13 “Love Hurts 11x16 “Safe House” // 12x20 “Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes”

“Of Twigs & Twine and Scarecrows & Tin Men” or “The Thing about Hearts and Minds”

I finally found timt to rewatch the episode and write few thoughts down. I know this is probably not interesting to anyone anymore as it’s been a couple of days, but I feel like typing this out anyway.

The symbolism and metaphors surrounding the “Wizard of Oz” have been introduced in Carver Era in S8 and have been used repeatedly in relation to the entire MoC arc and also carrying on and over to the Darkness/Amara arc which of course could also still be considered the MoC arc. Especially last season @lost-shoe​ and I have been talking a lot about how Amara and how she used “mind control” and was able to pull Dean’s strings parallels and compares to Calliope in 10x05 “Fan Fiction” working her magic by controlling the scarecrow (missing a mind of its own) to protect the narrative and story the high school kids had penned about “Supernatural”.

Since that episode in S10 a lot of time has passed and S11 saw Dean losing his free will and agency to Amara and it was heavily suggested all throughout the season, like in episodes such as 11x16 “Safe House” that Dean may truly be turned into a puppet and a screcrow to Amara’s will at some point down the line. Of course that didn’t happen, but it seem that Dabb has taken said arc and trasnferred it and re-imagined it, so that one season later we may end up at a similar point as last season was meant to end at (because we know that the season was meant to end differently as initially God was supposed to die, but the CW wouldn’t allow that), because thrughout S12 rather enragingly for anyone who cares about Dean the narrative has framed Dean to be losing his agency and free will and his choices and wishes being ignored by the people closest to him and them by that action in extension turning Dean or rather treating him like a scarecrow - ignoring Dean’s input and thoughts or doubts or apprehensions, basically his mind - while the season as a whole to me lacked one thing in particular: emotion. Or differently worded and coded in “Wizard of Oz” language: heart. Because Dean’s emotions too were walked all over ignore or rendered as either “over the top” or “unimportant” thus effectively treating Dean also like the tin man, missing his heart.

Now this week’s episode brought both the scarecrow and tin man symbolism back in a major way and intertwined both with one another and I personally feel that it shows rather heartbreaking and dark things ahead for Dean - and yes, I know I’m biased cause I’m a Dean!Girl and that’s where my focus goes, so all of this may end up completely wrong, but I’m going to type it out anyway, because this week’s episode was thick with narrative callbacks visually as well as thematically to a few episodes also focsuing majorly on the heart or the loss of it and the mind and mind control.

Of course Max’ and Alicia’s story was meant to call back to the entire Supernatural origin story with the missing mom opposed to a missing dad, a deal with horrific consequences and two siblings who head down dangerous and dark paths, because they can’t live without the other. And while the Banes’ tale of the week definitely called back to a multitude of past Winchester mistakes and tragedies, I feel it may also be rather suggestive of what will happen in the season finale.

@lost-shoe​ has been talking a lot about how this season has been playing with Dean death allusions and while I personally don’t think they’ve been handled consisently or rather well, I agree that in the second half there were a few things suggesting Dean will pay the price - his life - for his loved ones walking all over him during the season and that maybe being resolved with Dean actually truly becoming tin man and scarecrow after he has been treated as those all season and the events of the latest episode to me suggest it is entirely possible for things to go that bad (As a brief in between, what still bothers me majorly about this entire arc is that Dean when he dies due to how he was ignored all season, this entire arc wasn’t about him, that would only be the case if Mary or Sam would be framed in a way narratively that suggests that they realize that they should have been more open towards Dean’s words, but that is sadly not the vibe I am getting from this arc, but rather feel that Dean will just further be used as a prop to propel other characters’ stories - namely and in lin with this week’s episode and siblings decision for Sam to possibly go to rather dark ends to “bring Dean back” - should he really die).

Because the callbacks to Calliope and the scarecrow were to be caught in the details, such as the robe the witch wore or the colours of the flowers

the concierge arranged or the creepy doll (which was of course another nice allusion to the whole puppet theme of the episode as well as Dean waking up among flowers when first meeting Amara in S11) on the stairs wrapped also in purple. It’s impossible to see due to the colouring I worked with on the gifs, but the purple definitely aligns Calliope and the old witch. But of course not just through that. The witch literally turned these people into scarecrows, made out of twigs and twine. She made them “her creatures”, puppets she can control and pull the strings of, “beings” she can mind control while she killed the real people by ripping out their hearts and making the real person tin men, corpses missing their hearts. That action as such also called back majorly to last season’s episode “Love Hurts” featuring the quareen, that set out for its victim’s hearts and could only be stopped when its own heart was sliced apart. Only after that it dissolved into nothing in a similar fashion as the witches puppets/scarecrows turned to dust once Dean shot her.

Now, as I said during live watch already on friday, the colour combination Dean wore during this episode is heavily tied to topics of loss of self and mind control as they were presented in the MoC and particulary the Amara arc. It’s not accidental imo that we saw Dean wear the red shirt of doom and the dark blue jacket on top here, because - as I said above - I think this season will end very bleak (but when is it ever not lol). It’s not just the colour and clothing however that to me suggests tragedy ahead, it’s also

how in this shit for example Dean is directly framed with the scarecrow-esque twigs and twine creature thing behind him. Most of all however it’s the Banes’ siblings serving as the biggest warning sign, because Alicia - Dean’s mirror - dies and her brother, unable to let her go, makes a deal, takes a burden (yes, it’s all an MoC repeat and callback to Sam removing the MoC too, hell even the silly knife looks like the first blade sigh), overrides his sister’s agency, carves out her heart, makes her a tin man and puts it into the scarecrow. It is all kinds of messed up when you keep in mind that he has the power to control her now, even worse that she is “not real”, but he takes that as better anyway, plus Alicia may have all her memories, but she is hollow in the end, she doesn’t know she’s not real - it’s also a parallel to Mary and her return and her struggle.

So if you keep this in mind and treat this episode as a piece of foreshadowing - and this episode seemed thick with it - then I think it is not out of the real of possibility that Dean will die, painfully likely, due to his loved ones misplaced trust and ignorance over his doubts and thoughts all season. And I think that either Sam or Mary (should she not die or raise Baby Lucifer and walk away) will make some sort of deal, bringing Dean back maybe, but just the scarecrow version of him anyway... And if they went there it would allow them for Dean to still be around, but not as truly him of course  (@suebsg9​ I am going to reply to your ask in here, because it feels fitting), so maybe what Jensen teased with “something purgatory-esque” happening could be the true and dead and now heartless, tin man!Dean either locked up in the Empty after all (which would fit the pattern of something being released and locked away - where Dean usually gets to be the one ending up locked away in some other dimension) or he may go to Heaven and the scene the boys talked about before with lots of beloved character being part of a scene they shot for S13 ends up being at Harvelle’s or something. But of course all of this is just crazy spec.

But just to mention it last but not least, the topic of mind control here also directly relates and connects to to the nephilim arc as well as the BritMoL arc as the gifs hopefully can capture above. Dean in this episode said outright in the beginning that Lucifer Jr. isn’t even born and is already “sock puppeting” Cas, meaning mind controlling him. Likewise Ketch when tieing Mary to a chair that reminds a great deal of the one we saw Naomi torture Cas in also S11 is revisited when he tells her that “he can keep her safe” even if everything else falls apart as long as “she plays her part” - which of course calls back to Calliope who protected the narrative in the musical, but also reminds of Dean when he was possessed be the soul eater and tried to coax Sam into giving in.