#But the creativity to do THIS with it?? absolutely insane
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saying "i love the way you write" and then suggesting that the writer's works be fed to a machine which will try to simulate the style of the writing on the principle of defining the word combinations the writer likes to use (no understanding of the text it produces, no intelligence which would make comprehending the meaning behind those word choices possible) is truly insane to me. they are either lying about loving the way you write or have absolutely no clue about ai. i'm not sure which is worse.
at best it's "i want something that looks like you even if it's not you" (how yandere of them). at worst it's "i will read anything the slop machine produces about my blorbo as long as i don't have to bother thinking on my own". sorry. i cannot stop thinking about that fucking ask. i am spinning it in my mind the way they should be mentally microwaving their blorbo.
generally i just don't think people are very familiar with creative writing as an art form. people can define a style and feel behind certain pieces of writing, but kind of lapse when it comes to acknowledging that style and feel as a deliberate by-product of a real person googling 'satisfaction synonym' for the three-hundredth time. on one hand, it's not something i think people can really be blamed for not interrogating, but on the other, i do think it signals back to a cultural delusion that art just kinda pops out of nowhere for no reason with no thought behind it. like not everything is just a straight-forward representation of real life made to be pretty and nothing else. sometimes we do be thinking about things, tragically.
#anyways if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck#still be careful because it might actually be elon musk pretending to be a duck to harvest your social security number or something#personal#anon ask
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He's about to board his opponent for a heart to heart, litterally!
We love a Gildedguy that does not fuck around! :D
#gildedguy#dragon of Mar#Can we talk about how INCREDIBLY BADASS THIS ENTIRE SECTION WAS?!#THE FUNNY LITTLE KNIGHT GUY PULLED A JAEGER ON US!!#That was NOT on my bingo card but I do not regret a THING!!#“Oh yeah my dad was an engineer with gold powers” NO SHIT#He took more from his father than he thinks! XD#But the creativity to do THIS with it?? absolutely insane#I will never recover
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Ok phandom peeps, I need to get something off my chest. I cannot stop thinking about it, it’s so funny that this happened to me!
So I’ve been casually perusing the DP fandom for a while, right? Like for several years at least! What can I say? I like art! So at various points I had talked to my aunt about some stuff related, like fun stuff about the phandom and the existence of ghost king aus and stuff. Recently though, I found a fanfic that I spent AN ENTIRE DAY reading and doing nothing else! Like I stayed up late the night before, woke up to immediately read more! I don’t normally read fanfics, let alone any long form story, cuz my attention span is shit and has been shit basically all my life! So in the evening when I was a good chunk of the way through the fic, I talked to my aunt about it! Cuz it’s funny! I found a lot of things in it very amusing and wanted to share!
And then she asked for a link…
The next thing I know, within a few months, probably 3 months later at most, my aunt starts telling me about phandom lore I had never even heard of before! She literally made an ao3 account!!! Guys I am floored! I’ve been idly watching from the shadows for so long, and then I accidentally get my aunt into the phandom and she starts telling me about a red duck candle that’s apparently been integral DPxDC lore for YEARS!
What have I DONE???
#Danny Phantom#DP#this isn’t art or any creative writing this is just sharing a personal experience I had so this isn’t going on my side blog#side blog does have some personal ramblings but they’re typically for art related plans and writing ideas#sorry to anyone following me for fandom stuff- I do try to avoid clogging my main with personal stuff and the like but…#god I just can’t get over this! How did I manage to get my aunt into reading DPxDC fanfics so fast???#she never watched DP and even she didn’t really know much about batfam stuff (all of my knowledge has been from online fandom stuff)#so I’m just absolutely going insane about this cuz holy shit#how did I never know about the red duck candle???
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average minecraft gameplay of elementary school kids (+the og doodle of it I did like. months ago)
#re:kinder#fanart#yuuichi mizuoka#shunsuke takano#my art#i must inmediately make clear to you that i believe shunsuke would absolutely loot villages in minecraft like. TOTALLY#he has that sillyness he would see like. an oven and steal it he would break the wood of houses for the sake of it#the thing that distinguishes him and yuu from it is that yuu just has to commit arson and just has to put the villagers on fire#i think the first thing yuu would do the second he enters a village is to inmediately go kill the iron golem#the iron gained from it is a bonus its more so to see the chaos that ensues without the protection of a golem#and that would be if the gamemode was survival but im gonna be so real i dont see yuu being a survival player#im 100% believer that he would be a creative player through and through#destroying villages would be sillier just place a ton of dynamite and see it go kaboom#i think i should have made shunsuke a little less confused over going to a village in this he has chaos in his heart#thing is ive been working on this very on and off for a while so i. i forgor my headcanons briefly turn brain off just . confusion💔#on that note i will be free soon i will be free to draw a lot this semester is finally ending soon oh my god😭#this semester uni has been a lot and fibro has been kickin me for no reason but ILL BE FREE🔥🔥SOON🔥🔥#id like to let you know that to make this piece i had to pray the dios te salve maria prayer thrice#my computer finds ways to get worst and that prayer is the most efficient way for it to let me do basic tasks it sounds insane but its fr😭#it doesnt like it if i pray anything else for some reason it just really seems to like this prayer#anyway ive had a whole discussion on how the rekinder cast would play minecraft but. theres a 30 tag limit#so💔 we gon save that for another day when im having a good day in terms of my fibromyalgia i need to lay down SJWIDNAKD😭😭#i should do the dios te salve maria prayer when i do my finals atp god save my cells
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#“it WAS emotional abuse” is the worst type of realisations#especially when there are moments when I only have being completely spineless weakling to blame#I still don't know what the fuck happened with that#I accepted the hardships of being accused of insane shit by the fandom's 'authorities' at that period of time but then-#-when he defined “being woke NPC” as the worst type of humanperson possible undeserving of anything from him#I just.... allowed him to keep me in fear of being labeled as that that'd effect some of my actions#from minor creative shit to what I should say even publicly#on the one hand it makes no fucking sense of being accused of transphobia is LESS scary than what he “accused” me of#on the other hand it makes sense that words of a friend had way more bearing than randos from fandom that ALREADY disliked me#and were WAITING for the “justified” reason to bully me#not to mention that their reasoning was absolutely nonsensical and even people that didn't know me could often see so#meanwhile he sounded very intelligent#and he also knew the pain of being hounded and thrown away by humanity. that resonated with me after k1rby fandom stuff#being considered an awful person forever that didn't deserve second chance at living and forming relationship EVER again...#though I still wonder whether we formed a cult of two#after all he was very happy to finally get rid of me#because he was feeling like he could not live without me and vice-versa but one day something answered his prayers and 'healed' him#with me.. well nothing saved me. I was healing gradually#but this winter it actually went FAR.#in any case I do not deserve sympathy because I've put this on myself#I could recognise the patterns but I CHOSE to stay and let him make me cry all the time#half of the things he did could've been easily prevented by me standing my boundaries better or. well. acting like ADULT.#and not a fucking traumatized dependent scared lonely autistic CHILD.#however my enemies do not deserve sympathy either. I think we are all punished. every single person involved.#except for a certain backstabber but if there is justice in the world then in due time.#if there isn't... well in that case nothing that happened matters anyway.#personal#/vent#I've been puking so much poison out in this winter#haha can't wait for something to sabotage my healing just before it is over like always
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jesus ive posted EIGHT (8??????) fics (/chapters) this year and FOUR of them were in june. happy pride?????
#i posted 6 for all of last year. to be honest i havent felt this nuts about writing for a while#i feel like lawlight and akeshu do things to my brain that nothing else does#that and the fucking insanity that comes with being so busy w career shit you feel like you're about to pop at all times unless u do smth#creative with your no time that you dotn have#anyway........thanks for joining me!!! on thje journey of the nonstop yapping.#rookposting#dont even look at my wip folder right now theres more#office au chatfic. lawlight longfic#the remaining three chapters of palacefic which definitely for sure will stay at three and wont become more for absolutely definite#other project i cant talk about#OTHER project i can't talk about#and the older ones also
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kinda funny that the prize for winning a season of inanimate insanity is literally just the Responsibility of running a small business full-time with no employees and also you don't even get paid. like they're literally just spending their money to have MORE responsibility and do more work. why would anyone want that
but i guess its cute that they love each other so much that they're willing and even excited to get the opportunity to do that work for each other with NO benefits
#the absolute most reward they get is some creative control over whatever structure they end up building but that does not feel like#it justifies spending a million dollars just to have more work and stress in your life. like really the most privileged ii contestants#living in luxury were the contestants eliminated mid-s1 who never had to compete again and just live at hotel oj#doing literally no work ever LMAO#they're the real winners#inanimate insanity#txt
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OKAY, AO3 CHILDREN, GATHER ROUND
peek = verb = to take a look
peak = noun OR verb = the summit, to come to the highest point
pique = verb = to rouse
The boy peeked around the corner at the peak of the mountain, his interest piqued by the noise he was hearing. If I have to read one more fic that says something like "this will peek your interest" i'm gonna lose it
oh, that's another one
lose = verb = to fail or misplace [looz]
loose = adjective = baggy, not tight [loos]
and while I'm at it
affect = verb = to change
effect = noun = a change
blond = adj = male with yellow hair
blonde = adj = female with yellow hair
brunet = adj = male with brown hair
brunette = adj = female with brown hair
fiancé = adj = male betrothed
fiancée = adj = female betrothed
( yes all of those suck, blame the french )
revenge = noun = a victim gets their own back on the person that made them suffer
avenge = verb = back-pay is given to a bad person in the name of their victim but not by the victim themselves
desert = noun = large wasteland
dessert = noun = meal course, typically at the end of the meal, usually consisting of something sweet
breathe = verb = to inhale and exhale
breath = noun = the air that is inhaled or exhaled
bridal = adj = belonging to a woman on her wedding day
bridle = noun = tack for around a horse's head (can also sometimes be a verb meaning to restrict and lead somebody or something)
#writing#writer#fic writers#fanfic#books#author#fic#fics#book#novel#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#ao3 writer#creative writing#writers community#writing community#english#grammar#it is absolutely INSANE that books are getting traditionally published with mistakes like this but its okay i'll contain my bitterness#its okay if you didn't know but now you do#it hurts my kokoro okay
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telling kpop stans to see idols as human is like talking to the biggest brick wall in existence
#this whole enha tour thing is grinding my gears#bc everyone was supposedly gonna boycott the tour#but now belift announced that the members were part of the production of the tour#and all of that went out of the window#YOU PEOPLE ARE TOO EASY#it's so obvious they only let them do it#because they need an incentive to make engenes buy tickets#bc announcing a tour after one just ended is absolutely insane#and they knew that so they had to make sure people would still buy tickets#in another scenario maybe i would have supported it#but since hybe's debt is becoming bigger by the minute#it's so obvious to me that this is not them letting enha have#creative control over it#bc they would never let that happen#but since they are SO desperate for money#they knew fans would feel bad for not supporting#OPEN YOUR EYES#i'm shaking people by the shoulders i'm so tired#tris.txt
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save me old flipnote studio MVs.......
#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones#is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme.........#its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid#i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over#theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later#especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure#interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries..#god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and#cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE#CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus#on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with#and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR#i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with#strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid#someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from#the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors#ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK#lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too#now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here#UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS#yapping#nostalgia
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What are the Midst appendices? I’ve been vaguely meaning to listen but that sounds super interesting conceptually
They're REALLY interesting! Basically later in the day after every new episode, Midst puts out some kind of found document(s), often related to the episode, but also sometimes not!
The range of these is pretty broad, from magazine covers to the contents of someone's desk to excerpts of textbooks on different aspects of the universe, so you get a really interesting set of perspectives on small aspects of the world, and the worldbuilding for Midst is utterly buckwild in the best way, so it's SO fun. (This week's was a public transit map, and I had some delightfully punctilious conversations about the weird nuances of how transit even works in that particular location.) There's weird stuff about megafauna! The timekeeping is wild! This society has its own version of Teen Vogue and Jonas Spahr is the sexiest man alive!
Midst is such a delight of a show because the attention to detail is painstaking and astounding and if you like lore and worldbuilding, it is really phenomenal and a master class. (Genuinely, I will keep saying it, but it makes me writhe with envy.)
Also, if you do listen, I gotta plug the episode coverage over on @encyclopediacr which now has all of the appendices linked on their episodes list (and in individual episodes' infoboxes)! Which is much easier than trying to sort through the hellscape that is the twitter feed.
#midst podcast#I love the midst appendices. third person truly living the dream in terms of what I wanna do creatively.#put out insane and incredible stories while also getting to make the most random asides of found documents.#this is no joke my absolute dream
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#it's been... a rough week+ since getting hit with a stomach bug from last friday#and then just... absolutely vile conditions at work bc the higher ups just Do Not Care that we have unsafe work conditions#that all kinda reached a head today when they prioritised the store being open/money over our safety#im drained and in pain from the insane cold at work too so just#bleuughh#im gonna lurk around on discord and gaming mostly tonight i think#im in better spirits now thankfully!! but im just... jfc my body needs a BREAK#which thankfully.. i have tomorrow off#and then the weekend in before my 9 days holiday mwuah#so... im GETTING THERE#i cant wait to fully reset with this annual leave tbh and dive back into more creative vibes and resting <33#mwuah smooches to u all <33#✞ — this place is fancy & i don't know which fork to kill myself with. // ooc.
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There's an English class on Golden Age detective fiction being offered next semester but the prerequisite for it is the intro to literary study class required for all English majors (which I haven't taken because I'm in a hard STEM major and don't have much time for electives, which means that I have to be really picky with my electives and only go for stuff I like AND doesn't have an awful workload) and also even if I did have that prereq, I wouldn't be able to take the class because it's at the same time as one of my major reqs. And also I'll be in two labs next semester and one of them is pure hell so like I literally don't have the time to take more than 13 credit hours (as tempting as it is to keep up my streak of taking 17-18 every semester even though it's been like really pretty bad for my social life and hobbies). Sigh. (Pressing my hand wistfully against the glass) maybe someday they'll offer the class again
#.txt#at least i had a blast in my sci-fi class this semester#i don't talk about sf on this blog because that's what my secret main is for but guys i LOVE sf you should read more sf#i'm currently sitting at an a+ in that class and my professor has been giving me SUCH good feedback on all my assignments#he used one of my short essays as the class example (which has never happened to me before!)#and also asked if he could use my creative writing midterm project as an example for future classes#and on the last day of class he quickly went through some powerpoint slides recapping the class#and on one of them he had a drawing i submitted as part of a different creative assignment :)#also we read a book from one of my all-time favorite authors in that class AND he visited our class too which was absolutely insane#won't mention the author's name because his books comprise like half the posts on my main. i'm insaaaaane i'm craaaazyyy#currently trying to figure out which topic to write my final paper on but i will definitely be writing about that book#english classes are actually such a morale boost#the only reason i'm not an english major is because that would actually for real kill me#i'm good at writing essays but the process is actually agonizing and i'm a ridiculous perfectionist when it comes to writing#so combining that with poorly medicated adhd means that i almost never turn essays in on time#and spend way too long suffering over each one to make sure they're as perfect as i can get them to be (unattainable standard)#and then they also always end up going way over the word count#for my crime fiction class in the spring i wrote a 19-page final paper about decagon house when i only needed a minimum of 8#and i honestly could have written even more but i had to stop myself because the paper was already like 2 or 3 days late#and i had been staying up until dawn every night trying to finish it#so basically i can hardly handle having ONE english class#having to take multiple and turn in so many essays on a regular basis is a literal death sentence#i'm taking 2 upper level classes for my other major (haven't declared it yet though) this semester#and i have to write final papers for both of them :') and the instructions are super vague and they're due in a WEEK#one of them is SLIGHTLY more clear because i just need to write about the results of my research project#however. i was unfortunately only given 3 weeks (one of which was thanksgiving so basically i was only given 2)#to design and execute this whole project#and i got a little too ambitious (as i tend to do) and even though i ended up cutting out a lot of the stuff i wanted to do from the projec#it'll still definitely take ages to finish (conducted my experiments yesterday and spent 11 hours in that building. hell on earth)#and that's on top of needing to study for and take 3 final exams...
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7 months, 7 days, and I have finished campaign 2 of Critical Role.
#i am crying while typing this#holy shit what an experience. how do i begin to describe any of this!#personal log#critical role#the mighty nein#caleb widogast! i watched this whole thing just because he seemed like he was made just for me!#and to follow all of these characters! in so much detail! holy shit!#i started this in the middle of winter on a snowy hill in sweden. got hooked on a night ferry to finland. relistened to favourite moments on#my night train back home to germany. spent the rest of winter and the coming spring with the mighty nein. having them keep me company in#loneliness and physical pain. then sharing some of the experience with my flatmate first and then my girlfriend!#whose live reactions were so amazing to follow!#@jojo: to think you finished the campaign a day before me...!#holy shit (i am repeating myself) this was an experience of a lifetime#(i am sappy and still crying but my point stands)#and omfg caleb widogast and the absolutely insane storytelling from all of them#matt mercer! what a fucking mind and talent you have. and all of the creative people playing rpgs with friends:#this is such a beautiful way of storytelling.
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i think the thing that no one tells you about being forced into being a high achieving child/teen is how much it comes to fuck you over later in life when you can’t do anything without holding yourself to an insane level of perfectionism and then you realize it’s basically leeched all the fun out of any hobbies you created for yourself and left you with a shell of a personality
#like I was having this convo with my mom about how I used to do so much in high school and college#and granted a lot of it was to look smart or well rounded for college and dental school apps which is I guess it’s own thing#but now that I don’t have another goal to work towards my life feels more stagnant and I guess I feel like more of a failure?#even though that’s absolutely not true I just see other people always on the grind and feel guilty for not wanting to do as much anymore#bc I’m tired and burnt out from everything#and the worst part is that it extended into my hobbies too#like I used to love baking and painting and being creative until I just set such insane standards for myself#like if something wasn’t perfect or aesthetic or worthy of being displayed as like a trophy#my effort and the process and time invested into it counts for nothing#not to be controversial but sometimes writing feels that way too#i think it’s a mental battle I have with myself but it makes me sad how many hobbies I used to have and enjoyed#that were then destroyed by burn out and perfectionism and imposter syndrome#this turned into a rant#will probably delete later#but I just had to say it somewhere#isi rambles
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🦋
#new meds make my vision blurry. you dont want to know how long it took me to write that sentence lmao.#they also make my muscles spasm randomly? i keep almost dropping shit.#in the grand scheme of things i know logically that this is better than my last round of meds.#but it all seems to mean nothing when i cant hold a pen or my phone w one hand#&i can barely look at my phone or laptop.#i need this to just be an adjustment period lmao. i cant lose my sight any more than i already have.#even books are too much. i was hoping maybe it was just the screens. i was incorrect lmao.#i am not a brave artist but i am a self indulgent one. i can say w almost absolute certainty that i will choose my vision over any med.#ive had a block to my creativity lately&im positive it started back when i swapped meds.#it would really only take one more thing i'm losing for me to simply go fucking insane lmao.#... ive been on a downswing for a while now. i miss being manic. except i dont. except i do.
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