#But obviously they dont care enough about her to do that thats why she doesnt have an act 3 romance scene <- coping

[lightscamerabitchsmileee]

A hot take here: but can we all agree that it's not an artist or actor or athlete or any other celebrities' responsibility to be a political activist on every single goddamn issue?? Like for fuck sakes guys give it a rest...I'm sick of it

[cacturne]

i dont know if i have the brain to properly explain my thoughts here but i will try, i think the only thing keeping mintharas good recruitment from feeling natural is just a simple cutscene inbetween when talking to her at the goblin camp that says theres something off about her mind.

it can be as detailed as the narrator going “*her mind does not seem to be her own*” or as vague as showing you just how much of a mess her brain is when she connects to your tadpole, putting crumbs inbetween flashes of her past and contradictory emotions, but the goal is the same: give us a reason to knock her out outside of just knowing that that gets you a companion. It can be the flimsiest thing ever because people will easily be able to headcanon better things onto it but give at least something.

like, imagine if you did not know anything about karlach, and you recruit wyll and hunt her down and that whole tadpole connection telling you shes a victim just does not happen. Of course youre more inclined to believe her because she is pleading her case when minthara does not have the luxury to do that but i imagine a significantly larger amount of people would have just killed her for wyll than they would now.

you dont really have to sanitize her (please dont, honestly) you just have to give players a plausible reason. I think then, too, would a lot of misconceptions about her as a character be rectified because it would show more of her outside of the mind controlled absolutist zealotry and maybe even convince more people to knock her out and recruit her to see what her character is about, instead of just writing her off as an evil bloodthirsty monster.

[dirt-str1der]

I literally cannot get enough of kiryu following sayama around like a little dog because she can arrest him proper whenever she wants and hes just like okay (worried about her because she seems insane and that means hes very interested in her)

[kingcunny]

thank you sm!! <3

ive made a couple posts about balerion and viserys before, and i got another one in the works in my drafts. like im obviously biased but theyre one of my favorite dragon-rider bonds, even though they were only together for a year.

jorah in the main series says at one point that targaryen dragons were bred for war, and in war they died. balerion being the last of the valyria-born dragons probably has this instinct better than most. he takes aegon i as his rider because aegon is a conqueror, and is going to use him for the purpose he was born for.

the aegon i -> maegor line i think is pretty easy to understand. just like aegon i, maegor is also a conqueror. balerion sees in him that same war-instinct that he saw in aegon i, that he himself has.

maegor -> aerea is where things start to shift. balerion is an old war machine, but his last two riders died outside of war and away from him. aegon i from a stroke, maegor was eaten by the iron throne. hes made his lair on his not-quite-home dragonstone, when this upset little girl who misses the excitement of her life at court climbs on his back and tells him to take her home. i think balerion was fairly homesick at this point and thought “*i* want to go home too.” so he takes them home. back to his home. except balerion doesnt know that his home as been destroyed while he was gone. he spends those years with aerea *searching* for anything, any sign that the valyria that he remembers is still there. but theres nothing. its doomed and filled with monsters now. aerea spends the whole time begging him to take her back home, back to her mother. its only after hes injured and aerea is deathly ill that hes forced to accept that this is no longer their home. theres nothing here for them anymore, they dont belong here anymore than he belongs in westeros. so balerion reluctantly takes aerea back. maybe theres something they can do to save her, or failing that, at least shell be able to die in her home even if he cant die in his. after this balerion becomes the first dragon chained in the dragonpit.

finally, aerea -> viserys. i think viserys felt fairly alienated from the rest of his family, as he was so different from any of the other men he was related to. but he was raised to idolize old valyria (or at least the targaryens version of it) and feels that if he can claim balerion, if the last living aspect of valyria accepted him, well that means theres *something* targaryen in him. balerion was the living god of the thing he was raised to worship. when alyssa wanted to claim balerion, the dragonkeepers dissuaded her by telling her hes old and slow now, and wouldnt she rather a younger more energetic mount? i wonder if they tried the same thing with viserys, but viserys wouldnt care about that. thats not why viserys wanted balerion. all viserys wanted was balerions acceptance. balerion is very old now, old and tired and in pain. hes a war machine that can no longer fight, a dragon that can barely fly. but hes still holding on. he cant die yet. viserys is very different from balerions other riders, and i think that was the point. balerion could tell viserys didnt want anything from him, other than *him*. so balerion accepted viserys as he was, and viserys accepts balerion as he is. balerion gives viserys his final flight and thats enough for him. more than that even, after their first and last flight viserys tells baelon he wanted to fly to dragonstone but was worried that balerion wouldnt survive the flight. he was *worried for balerion*, worried about *his* health and safety and comfort. when has he had another rider care about him like that? (when has any dragon tbh...) viserys doesnt want to put more on balerion than he can handle. whatever balerion can offer him is enough. all viserys wanted was his love, and he got that. so he loves and comforts balerion in his final days. balerion doesnt have a home anymore, but viserys gives him one inside himself. he loves balerion enough to let him go. to let balerion finally lay down and rest.

(sorry for the screenshot answer i accidentally posted it before i was done <3)

[theninth09]

people dont actually believe that theo killed his sister, do they?

like okay. the entire pack and probably theo himself think that hes responsible for her death, but the pack hates him and doesnt trust him for valid reasons and theo is traumatized and holds guilt over her death so hes probably convinced himself that he did kill her. i just dont believe thats true.

in s5b when hes with stiles in the tunnels (i forgot why they're down there but whatever) and stiles tells him "oh yeah, the guy that killed his own sister when he was nine?" and theo argues back "yeah. i was nine. i had no idea what was going on." and that he also still believed santa exists so obviously he believed the dread doctors when they told him she wanted him to have his heart.

first of all: this is s5b. hes long dropped his act and he has no reason to lie in this moment. he knows that stiles wont fall for his lies and hes stopped lying and transitioned into threatening and intimidating anyway. theres no good reason for theo to lie to stiles here: theres no actual benefit that would come from that.

and his behavior points towards him telling the truth. instead of deflecting or making a joke, or any of the stuff he usually does to get his way, he starts explaining and defending himself. he seems almost agitated that stiles claims that he did kill tara and argues why he didnt.

and ofc stiles doesnt believe him and tells him "i think you pushed her. i think you liked it." which is, sorry, utter bullshit. i understand why stiles says this (yk. theo killed his bffie and all that) but i think stiles is purposely turning everything that he knows about theo into something evil. he doesnt want to believe that theo was a victim of his circumstances, because that would make him human, that would explain why he became the person that he is. its easier to fall back onto the "hes just purely evil" argument, because then he can hate theo for what he did.

stiles is smart. thats his whole thing. thats his whole thing with theo, that he was "smart enough not to trust him" as theo says to the sheriff in s6a. stiles knows that theo was a child, that its likely that theo got manipulated and groomed by the dread doctors. but, i think, he decides not to care about that, to ignore that. he hates theo and he wants to hate theo, but if he starts looking at the reasons for why he did what he did, he'll begin to understand him. and while he'll still never forgive theo, that will reduce this fury he has for him because, newsflash, theo was a CHILD.

people argue that tw doesnt show us enough of his back story to back this up and yeah, i kinda agree. we dont get enough of his story because teen wolf ALWAYS does this. with every character. they insinuate something, they start something interesting that could give their characters depth and then they abandon it and its like the characters just forget about it. all this show has is small details for fans to focus on if you want to analyze anything, because this show is objectively not good enough to actually do that.

+ theo is a side character. he wasnt even meant to stay as long as he did and cody did his best to work with the material. if your argument is that theres missing context and only vaguely shown stuff, im sorry but thats so stupid. thats not a good argument for in canon. "oh but we never see theo do this or that" HES A SIDE CHARACTER. he wasnt even supposed to come back! and tw is not a very good show! obviously they added more depth to his character in s6 because cody came back. like yeah theres stuff that doesnt make sense (like the show saying he didnt have a heart condition), because his back story got added as an afterthought in s6. you cant only look at s5 and judge his character based on that. his depth comes from s6 and its not the characters fault that the show has bad writing.

and if you simply dont like theo, cool. i dont like a bunch of characters in tw. but i find this argument that hes actually evil and deserved getting tortured and whatever exhausting and annoying.

if you dont have empathy for his character in s6 bc you just hate him, fine. i dont care. but if you're talking about this in a more analytical way? fuck off. he was a child, the show points towards him getting groomed and abused by the dread doctors and guess what? even during his villain arc, hes still a child. yes he should take responsibility for what he did, im not excusing any of that stuff. but theres reasons for why he did all that.

and again, dumb tv logic reasons, but most of the villains getting away unscathed, fucking peter hale and deucalion being allowed to just kinda wander around while theo is in an eternal time loop of torture? like this technically erases the packs rule of not killing because i dont think its weird for me to argue that getting non-stop tortured without the ability to die is objectively worse than actually dying. and yeah, tv logic, but if you think that (in canon, not just bc you personally dont like theo) he deserved that, idk. weird. very weird.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

detailing what sexuality i think the saiki k characters are for no reason other than its fun

saiki: probably doesnt use labels but if he ever did, biromantic and a-spec. which i honestly think is as "canon" as it could possibly be without directly saying it. hes implied to be feeling SOMETHING towards teruhashi close to the end and is at the very least attracted to her, and he definitely has a crush on satou and outright puts them in a who-likes-who chart. he had no reason to include himself in the love triangle chart if he wasnt involved in it 😭 i dont at all think asou was trying to write a bi-ace character and im aware him liking satou is a gag, but gags are generally canon in saiki k or at least have some lore behind them. i might even say that hes some form of demiromantic ? definitely lines up with his feelings for teruhashi, and i know he doesnt know satou well but hes literally a psychic so "knowing" a person is a lot different for him so i doubt you could describe his sexuality so simply. and these two are the only people he ever shows any romantic interest in AT ALL.

teruhashi: bisexual, also probably as canon as it could be without being canon 😭 she definitely does love saiki towards the end, shown pretty obviously by her expressing she would rather be with him even when hes just sitting there (canonically what he always does) than be with someone rich or talkative. she was also so clearly attracted to aiura, argue with the wall. saiki is her first and only actual crush and before that she literally pictured herself just marrying some rich guy she didnt care about, so i would argue she was probably dealing with some form of comphet although its still mostly because she couldnt picture herself truly opening up to anyone yet

akechi: queer, and i picture him going into long rants about why specific labels dont fit him but he probably knows a lot about them. we get no evidence of his sexuality other than his attraction to teruhashi (which we do know for a fact depends on sexuality because anyone who is canonically or presumably not attracted to girls does not show attraction to her even if they do have a short reaction)

aiura: bi, no gender preference. she was definitely also attracted to teruhashi and does not once point out anything about her gender so im just assuming she doesnt care. also barely reacts when mera implies shes going to have sex with her and just says "looking forward to it"???

kaido: straight but i could see him being flexible, maybe bi with a heavy preference for girls. in canon he obviously sees girls as potential partners and does not see guys as such (see: second half of chapter 232)

yumehara: straight but i can see her being bi with a heavy preference for boys. only attracted to guys in canon but theyre very immature crushes which always start surface level, evidenced by her surface level attraction to takeru dissipating when she got to know him. her crush for kaido is genuine though, it starts out surface level but she clearly sees and likes him for the weirdo he is considering she even adapts some of his chuuni-isms 😭

hairo: probably acearospec and maybe pan ? in canon, hes never felt attraction before or at least isnt aware if he has, but i would argue that what he feels for nendo is the closest thing hes ever had to a crush

kuboyasu: bisexual. we only see him being attracted to teruhashi however his reaction to that makes me think that doesnt happen much?? i know it was because hes used to being good at controlling himself but hes the only character other than imu that is confused by his attraction to teruhashi

toritsuka: straight but would kiss a guy if hes feminine enough, in a not gay but desperate way.

nendo: no label, probably doesnt care very much about gender however he is an enjoyer of tits so...

mera: no label, doesnt ever think about that stuff

saiko: straight but flexible, another person thats only shown attraction to teruhashi but he clearly has no experience with love so im just guessing shes the first person hes ever been attracted to ?

kusuke: freak (no label, i genuinely think his brother is the only person hes ever been attracted to and im unsure/undecided on if i think thatll change post-canon during his implied redemption arc ? i havent decided if i think he'll never be attracted to anyone else or not)

makoto: freak (straight? clearly mentally screwed up and has only ever been attracted to his sister, im unsure if therapy could help that. big makokuu fan though so i like to think that a slap from reality or a therapist would make him start questioning his sexuality.)

suzumiya: straight (personal headcanon is that shes a straight trans girl, obviously no evidence to that)

satou: straight, nothing queer about this guy

imu: lesbian, i can see why she could be bisexual but the way she analyzed men by their objective qualities and never attraction and only started liking makoto after literally making the connection to kokomi in her head makes me think its JUST comphet

kuniharu: straight but flexible, no explanation

kurumi: straight but flexible, no explanation

arisu: straight (i like to headcanon her as a lesbian simply because im a lesbian and i like her. also she did briefly think saikis crush was a boy and did not react to this so shes either a straight ally [most plausible] or queer herself lol)

[redrosesandcharmingsouls]

Otto manages in some way to ''delude'' himself into thinking that Alicent would have wanted to marry her best friends's father ,become his queen and have his (male) heirs ,all of it while shes an anxious teenage girl who suffers from dermatillomania .Which is weird because Alicent clearly looks uncomfortable as he asks her to see Viserys .Actually ,the second time we see her asking her if she will see him she looks angry

In this scene Otto also asks her why she's biting her nails in such an obsessive way ,and he outright says that he doesnt understand why she is doing it ,after all why would she do it if she is the most comely lady of the realm?.

Otto doesnt realize that Alicent is anxious not only because she is like that by nature ,but because he's putting her in a difficult position ,not caring about her desires at all .And he thinks ,in a pretty sexist way ,that her being the most comely lady of the realm is a enough reason to make her stop .And what is worse is that when he said that he didnt do it out of malice ,he genuinely thought it that way with no intention of harm.He was probably encouraging her to stop of her own good.

That doesnt mean he is above weaponinzing things against Alicent ,such as her sexuality and her mother's memory .And ,horrific enough ,these two things go hand in hand i the first scene we see them alone

Her sexuality is a weapon for him because Otto can strictly control it and he is the one who will decide who she can share said sexuality with .Her mother's memory is a weapon because Alicent's mother was very dear to her .He straight up tells her to wear one of her mother's dressed ,one that is very bold for that matter.

Otto's also uses her mother's memory again in ep 9 (''you look so much like your mother in certain lights''),as he is desperately trying to get back into her good graces once its clear she is the one in charge between the two.She doesnt give in this time.

A thing about Otto and Alicent's dynamic is that ,not only he genuinely believes that he is doing something good for her ,there is a specific reason on why he completely misunderstands Alicent.

And i think the line ''Our heart are one'' explains it perfectly.

Otto cant see Alicent outside her daughterhood ,he cant understand that she has a mind of her own .Thats why he gets so baffled when she speaks her mind and her plans do not align with his (ep 3 ,ep 4 ,ep 5 ,ep9).And (dont you dare think im blaming her im explaining his pov)Alicent always strives to be dutiful and sacrificial at all costs ,so obviously she obeys her dad (the man who has a lot of power over her in a fantasy medieval setting).And she also loves him and doesnt wanna disappoint him !.And so Otto gets used to the fact that ,even as a 35 adult woman with lots of experiences ,she will always obey him and their plans and ideas will always align .

Alicent is essentially a character who lost her sense of personhood because as a teenager she is put in situations where she is forced to serve and to always take care of others ,who take advantage of her dutiful persona ,and she never actually gets used to the idea that her feelings and desires matter .

And Otto is the first one who takes advantage of that ,he is the one who used her ''a piece to move across the board''.And that shapes her .

Now that doesnt mean he doesnt care for her ,he does love her in his own way.

But that doesnt change he still fails her .

[majaloveschris]

I do think he looked happy talking about his wedding and what little mention of 🐟 he did, especially with the go Portugal but putting aside how sincere or not that was, is pretty obvious it was something he had to mention and the rushed to move on from it and I think its because he knows how people feel about it and he cares, he cares that people will judge him from it (from now on I will asume its 100% real, the ring is there, he confirmed the wedding, called her his wife) wich to me is baffling because if you just married the love of your life and are happier than ever why would you care? He is not coming back to insta or twitter so he will not see the reactions, she can limit comments. Hollywood literaly doesnt care he is married to that kind of person, if he were a good actor nothing but that would matter so why would you care if people dont like your rs? The answer I think its because he is trying to bring back the fanbase he actively killed and so to me it looks like he would rather keep his wife as hidden as possible so he can keep his "A" list status and man that just tells a lot about him... Hence why he also spoke 30 seconds about arguably the most important day of his life till now and 10 about his dog, cause is the latter that sells. Had she been someone nice, someone to not be ashamed of (because thats the impression HE gives) he could have capitulated in the devoting husband look, but no he knows and doesnt care enough that he married her but cares enough to hide her.. Like make it make sense. Also I might said he looked happier that what he have seen him during this whole shit show but that doesnt mean he looks good.. He looks rough, the consequences of what he have done this past 2 years are catching to him fast.

I mean, he obviously cares what people think about him; all celebrities do. They live off their fans, since the only people who watch presumably every single project of theirs are their fans. He obviously wants to save what's left, but good luck for that. There are people who will never come back, but until his name is connected to people like Alba and her friends, he's going to lose fans.

If he is actually in love and happy with her (which I don't see, but okay), he doesn't need to divorce her because of other people; however, he needs to understand that not a lot of people can't support this, and mostly not because of the age gap but because of Alba's and her friends' behavior. He can do whatever he wants; there are people who are done with him, and that's it.

I definitely understand that his reputation is important for him and that whatever he says, he probably wants to stay in the industry, but the way he treated and talked about her, especially if she is the love of his life, is really interesting. I guess he had no problem appearing with Jenny, who was still married, by the way. If you love somebody so much that you want to marry them, then be proud of them. I'm not saying they should be out every single day kissing and hugging or whatever, but whenever we see them (in real time, not in a staged photo), he seems so distant. Dropping her hands in NYC, not letting her walk the red carpet, not holding her hands, saying weird things about her, like she is really into other people's energy. If this was love at first sight, and they knew they were in for the long ride, then he probably knew he's going to marry her, so he knew people were going to see her a lot of times, and they had to get used to it. So I don't really understand this whole hiding and breadcrumbing bullshit.

[teddy-feathers]

i think. i might actually come out to my fam this year.

not the best time to transition, i know, what with trump in office and our ability to actually transition probably in danger because of it.

and like. i do have concerns about my ability to transition at work. its not that i care much its that. my job requires a security clearance - and they might consider me a problem if im trans. idk. havent looked into it.

the thing is. im tired. right now literally but also very much figuratively.

i dont. go after things i want. not things that matter you know?

oh new game came out I want to play? Ill make it happen obviously.

need to make time to hop on call with friend? ill try and work it in.

but i am. 33, nearly 34.

i did not figure out what i wanted to go to college for - because i was told what i should do, and every attempt to do things i wanted to do instead was corrected.

i kinda fell up into my jobs by having many mental breakdowns, not going to work until i lost my job, panic, immediately look for something I was probably capable of doing, and accepting any terms and conditions they gave me to get me the job.

i have had this job for a while - i mean technically i got promoted twice, but same location for five years isnt bad.

but like. i dont even decorate my room. like its not permanent. its transitory and doesnt really belong to me so whats the point.

thats kinda how it feels my whole life had been. not belonging to me, transitory, and pointless to even try because my efforts have no real value or meaning.

i dont really know what i want. but im working on just. going after things i think will make me happy.

and i like being called sir. would like my tits gone. maybe kinda sorta want some other things to go along with all that too.

Theodore Marshall Hyde isn't a bad name, I like being called teddy - or Theodore Roosevelt the 26th president of the united states - and my middle name already starts with M so why not go after my grandfather's middle name and be Marshall? Also I can be T M Hyde - like technical machine "hide" which is fun.

i could probably grow a long wizard beard - though beards look like a lotta upkeep and if my dads anything to go by i wont be reaching zz top lengths any time soon.

like. i came on here in 2015, and i learned a lot i didnt know about trans people, met some, and was kinda like "wish that were me". 2018 i decided fuck it. it is me. i want it.

and even if. i doubt and think i dont want it enough. or im not really. or its just grass is always greener. or or or. - hell the worst that can happen is a few changes that i cant reverse and a some i can.

but its. been. 6-7 years of me just. sitting on it and seeing if itd go away.

it hasnt.

and like. while sometimes i still try to dig around in my head to "prove" its real and not just. idk. some left over childish thing. i don't. actually. have to prove anything to anyone?

thats why. i might actually come out to my fam and then get the ball rolling.

my aunt kinda. proved. that it really doesnt fucking matter what i do, know, say, believe - whatever - that ill probably never get her approval or support or anything other than her trying to prove she knows not only everything else better than i do, but me better than i know myself.

and im tired of it.

like. my parents in comparison are easy.

my dad might call me a dumbass or say he doesnt agree with it. but like. if im willing to waste time energy money resources blood sweat and tears on it. then. on my head so be it. like. i really think he'll go "no, youre not" but like if i want to be stupid about it, he's not gonna like. try and stop me. if i dont take his advice, as long as he a) doesnt get blamed for it all going wrong when you should have done what he said and b) gets to say i told you so when it blows up in your face then. hes pretty much going to just scoff occasionally and leave it alone. (i think)

momll never see me as anything other than her daughter. she will get my pronouns wrong. she will go around telling everyone and their brother that im trans. she will still love me and try and support me no matter what though.

my aunt will be... a problem. i just. cant deal with her being a problem any more.

i dont want to want to avoid going home every day because i dont want to run into her. i dont wamt to play "yes man" in every conversation just tonget the conversation over faster or to keep her happy. i dont want to be... upset any more. or hurt.

i am. so tired.

i dont want 20 questions i dont have the answers to, or the endless whys. or the patronizing laugh because she knows better than you. or that shell go and do her own research and find that actually i cant be trans not only because of personal anecdotes but also science says so.

i. do not care. what anyone says.

i want this.

it will hurt no one but me.

it will not hurt me or inconvenience me more than many other things i could be doing instead or in any way that i am not willing to live with.

i will probably end up happier because of it.

it will be a trial but i will get through it.

i dont want the latest facts and figures. i will do my own research.

i need to sleep. i just.

like if i cant win with my aunt then the win condition is basically telling her i do not care what you think or know, it is in fact none of your business and also when i say indo not want to talk aboht aomething that is not a green light for you to try to bully me into talking anyways.

like. im going to try to work things out to where I know what i kinda want to sorta maybe do and work towards this year.

this is just one of the things.

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! You asked for an ask and I’m always down to ask so…do you have any headcanons about Mickey’s time in Mexico?

wow you managed to ask me about the only thing of this show that i HAVENT rlly thought about so hats off to you

uhhhh okay first, PRE-MEXICO. i think mickey broke out in the first place because he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him. i think if ian didnt break up with him and dedicated himself to being a prison boyfriend (?) mickey wouldve stayed in. (i also think he wouldve found a skeevy defense lawyer who owes the milkoviches some debts and appealed his conviction bc lets be honest its total bullshit that he got locked away just based off sammi's unreliable testimony. like where the fuck was debby to lie under oath and say mickey was with her the whole time and she saw sammi take more pills than usual and go outside to move things. sorry im losing the plot this is NOT the time to discuss my s6 rewrite.) mikey haf absolutely no reason to stay in prison, stay in chicago, so i think after nearly 2 years of no visits from ian he just gave the fuck up. why not try to escape? hes smart, he can conjure up a decent plan, right? worst case scenario he goes back to prison, which didnt really fucking matter to him bc he was in prison anyway and he just. didnt care anymore.

so, he broke out and contacted ian ina last-ditch effort to get the love of his life back. he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him, but at the docks hes obviously still shocked to hear ian moved on fast enough to have a boyfriend already. then ian agreed to go to mexico and mickey was SO READY to start LIVING HIS LIFE. he thought that would be IT. him and his lover in mexico at the beach, getting away from all the bad memories of chicago and having a place to START OVER!!! then ian changed his mind last minute and mickey was fucking CRUSHED. AGAIN. and all of a sudden now hes in mexico alone and all his previous plans went out the fucking window because he totally didnt spend the past few days rearranging his plans to revolve around ian being with him.

i dont really think a lot about mickey's time in mexico. i think he was sad. i think he was angry. i think he just did what he could to stay alive and try to move on but he never really didnt. i think he kept his head low and did his job in the cartel and tried to learn spanish but it was too fucking hard so he gave up on that pretty quickly and attached himself to the multilingual members of the gang. i definitely dont think he had a boyfriend. im sure he fucked around with other guys, but i also think he spent more time laying in his shitty apartment that he shared with like 4 other guys trying not to cry too loud thinking about what could have been.

i also dont think he worked for el chapo lmfao sorry to anyone who thinks that but the timeline doesnt even line up. and if he somehow did have a part in taking down el chapo he wouldve been put in witness protection. he probably wouldve gotten killed anyway tho

my dumb ass didnt realize he got a new tattoo until like deep into s10 and i gaslit myself into thinking it was always there LMFAO but i love that he got another tattoo there. i like to think this one was with a clean needle. i dont think this happened in canon, but MY mickey wouldve gotten a tongue piercing! perhaps other ones too. a couple other tattoos, a cartilage piercing, an eyebrow, his nipples. idk. just to change his appearance more. yeah. thats. the only reason.

anyway i think he got back into the US by working with an undercover cop and being a part of a pre-planned drug bust that included him being "arrested" and making it seem like he got extradited to the US only for being wanted. if he wouldve just waltzed into a precinct and said "hey i got dirt on this cartel" his as wouldve been killed so quickly. it needed to be a lot more covert so the other members didnt catch on and get rid of him. i do think eventually they probably figured out he was the anonymous witness whose interviewed were used in trial, which is why when he gets released in s10 the CO tells him the cartel is looking for him. sorry im going all Law & Order here talking about a s6 trial and now a trial against the cartel i need to stop

[p3answer]

i dont get why people hate sakura but i also dont get why some people really like her its all just so confusig to me

short answer i think she fucking owns and is funny and its hilarious that she is qualified enough to do surgeries on people at like age 15.

long answer basically i dont know how kishimoto did it but somehow he didnt give sakura any justice and yet was forced to write a woman just enough for her to have a deeply compelling character trait (which never gets any real resolution or development because again kishimoto hates writing women and does everything in his power not to), which is her selfishness born out of insecurity and just wholehearted self-loathing. like sakura fucking HATES herself, it is continually shown how insecure she is in herself even during childhood up until the very end of the series. her whole arc revolves around trying to prove herself, and while i think a lot of it is due to kishimoto just not bothering to resolve her character arc, the fact that she never seems to be happy with what shes achieved despite how much of it she has really speaks to that insecurity. she genuinely cares about her friends and yet she cannot feel confident in herself without proving to them that she is useful which leads to some extremely questionable decisions on her part. she and sasuke, on some level, do genuinely care about each other in part 1, but the romantic side of her "love" is, according to kishimoto himself, completely arbitrary, and more than anything is built on wanting to make herself feel more secure. her and sasuke are friends but it never goes deeper than that because she cant and wont try to understand him, which leads to the talk right before sasuke leaves konoha where trying to convince him to stay revolves around how SHE would feel about him leaving, which sasuke obviously disliked. by the end of the series this hasnt changed because despite caring about him, she has failed to try and understand him enough to help him in any real way- and like, what i have described here is why a lot of people hate her, because theyve decided to blame it all on some sort of inherent malice she posesses (i dont feel like getting into how most of the people who do so also would not act like this if she was a male character, we all know this i wont make this into even more of an essay). but like, its not! none of it is malicious! its shown time and time again that she genuinely cares about team 7 and the rest of her friends, but her unresolved self-hatred gets in the way of going about it in a healthy way. and thats WHY i think she is so compelling as a character, and WHY i get so angry about how badly she was robbed. again i think at least a chunk of this is genuinely accidental on kishimotos part because he couldnt bother to write sakura, but accidental or not it doesnt make it any less compelling to me. sakura my fucking oomf forever and ever until the day i die

[pants-rants]

ANOTHER MERLIN RANT. ok i have to admit there are a few plot holes in merlin, the cgi would give you nightmare and they have never heard of historical accuracy and somethimes that characters act in ways whih i think are out of character. However, i love it.

There was one example os such a thing where is season 5 merlin was ledt alone in these tunnels, unconsious and hurt. Arthur was wounded and unconsicous also so he isnt to blame. In fact before he got hurt he was looking for merlin but what about the other knights?? Gwaine especially who said in the past merlin is his one true/only friend. He has protected merlin even when he got banished for it. The other knights are also his friends, why would they leave him? After dedicating everything to his Kingdom? Granted they dont know that but he lived there for 10 years!

I struggle to believe why he was last seen in the caves with everyone leaving and then there was a cut scene to Camelot! Ok it could be a filming error where they didnt realise they made it appear as if they left him but it rly doesn't seem that way! Imagen you risked ur life to save ur friends. You have traveled days in snowy mountains with barley any food and water, u were captured by bandits, escaped, broke into a castle of a dangerous enemy (morgana and her men) fought ppl and went back as a distraction, then u saw ur friend (arthur) threatened so u run to help him and u get throw into a rocky cave wall. Ur now fading into unconsiousness and the last thing u see is ur friend being threaten with a knife.

This is what must of happened after. You wake up. There is no light and bodies all around you. It is deathly quiet. U have a possibly bleeding head and are all alone. All the ppl u risked ur life for have left u. In enemy territory. Imagen the betrayal and sadness. Except merlin doesnt do anything. He is back in Camelot in the same episode. NO ONE, remarks on his being left. Did they not notice or just not care? What would feel worse. He travelled all the way back, days, all alone. How loyal he is, how sad he must be. I don't think his closest inner circle will have left him. No matter how they sleem slightly to have drifted apart in the last season or two.

Its horrible, not even mentioning one of the next episodes where Gwen, one of his closest friends previously (again drifted apart) accused him of Murdering Arthur and everyone just .... went along with it? Belived it? The pain that no one belives u, trusts u. He served arthur for 10 years, he has publicly risked his life on numerous occasios. he is the only one to speak plainly to arthur without a filter and trys to get him to show emotions (except gwen his wife, but even she is more respectful and timid in this way). How could his closest friends belive he would hurt arthur and condem him to death. If Arthur hadn't woken, merlin would have been executed by his friends. Gwen, who he has saved and risked his life for on multiple occasions.

Fair enough, shes possessed but why wouldnt the others refuse, stop her?? Its too out of character or, merlins friends rly dont trust him enough or are gullible. I lean more towards gullible/oblivious cause no one in merlin seems to see his obviously golden eyes and accept Merlin's or Gaius's excuses. Thats a horrible feeling for merlin, actually for anyone. That the ppl u would die for wouldnt do the same for u, they would infact do the opposite. Again arthur is in a coma cause of the poison he could do nowt.

[goremet-chef]

guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)

so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me

my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer

so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.

to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'

that one, other one, etc etc

no one even calls me my name anymore

it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going

its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body

its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all

it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate

need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all

i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.

and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this

so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it

she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.

IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable

it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think

its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously

idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon

and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.

i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this

[yuukei-yikes]

Okay okay okay I have a very specific itch to hear about Mekakushi Dan sensory needs and bc you're the first person I can think of who has drawn them stimming I thought your askbox was the perfect place to launch myself. If you have thoughts here pls feed me. Bonus points for Takane's sensory needs + challenges before becoming a computer program and post str bc I do think her needs would be different than they were before?? I think not having a body for 2 years would do that to you

HI ok i dont have a lot of headcanons in general its mostly haruka and takane and mostly takane. i think haruka is the one ive drawn stimming the most Like i just think that guy would flap his little hands around yknow.

so im sorry i dont have hcs for the whole mekadan. IF UR INTERESTED IN A PARTICULAR MEKADAN GUY u can ask me and I'll come up with something >:3 it just feels overwhelming to think of it all at once. and also u said takane and you know damn well im abt to talk for 1 million hours

ok. takane❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ sorry this isn't sensory needs but girl.. takanes Gamer Secret being found out... idk man it's like. this bitch had been MASKING‼️‼️‼️

even in hs days i think takane feels weird about Touching with her hands. she doesn't have the cartoonishly large sleeves she has as ene, but i think she pulls down her sleeves over her hands like in this specific manga panel i indeed have in speed dial

i wish it appeared more often bc its a cute shoutout to ene later on and also WOOO THIS BITCH HAS SENSORY ISSUES!!! i made a comic abt it once but haruka designing actor with the bigass sleeves because he observed that takane pulls down her sleeves. *bite bite bite bite bite* also this panel has always been a fave of mine bc of autism creature takane and also bc the desk is like. at haruka's chest and he looks like he's sitting on the ground

i also think its very funny to imagine takane kicking ass in games while holding the controller with her sleeves over it and everyone's like ?????girl what. ofc she probably has specific textures she hates and all that, takane doesnt feel weird about touching as a whole.

in several instances of yuukei yesterday haruka and takane casually touch each other and while thats obviously cuz they're close friends, a lot of close friends dont act that way or arent comfortable with touch yknow!! in fact takanes the one to start most physical interactions with him. i could be crazy enough to go and check but im gonna trust my memory. and bc i love art where ene is jumping on shintaro and stuff i like to think takane is Actually touchy with ppl she trusts. also she doesnt register personal space sometimes, and ends up standing too close without noticing until someone points it out. i guess this is a bit contrary to a typical takane interpretation (UR STANDING TOO CLOSE DUMBASS🙄🙄🙄🙄 tsundere moment) but i think it's a fun spin to it. i think kenjirou is the one to most point it out like Girl step BACK ur all in my zone and she's like UGH WHATEVER and haruka also notices but never rly says anything. he probably loves it lol haruka's so overdue physical connection he loves that takane doesn't mind touching him or being close to him. also since they have a big height difference its not like she's all up on his face. i think takane starts letting go more once her ene secret's out and stops caring so much but it sorta comes back when ayano and shintaro join the group. i think shintaro especially would point out UGH WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME or even question why she's so close to haruka or ayano. haruka and ayano are all like NOOO DONT WORRY I DONT MIND but takanes already mortified and is more self aware

another one. takane with her big old headphones. yeah yeah uses them disconnected to get haruka's attention Whatever she also uses them bc she prefers hearing stuff muffled instead of hearing it directly 👍 when she gets overwhelmed she puts those things on with the music to the max and just logs out for a min

OH also this is a canon one😼😼😼 her leg bouncy thing. shintaro points it out in the seventh novel that takane is bouncing her leg and says it's a nervous habit he never noticed on her but TO ME. SHE DOES THAT❤️ takane has huge leg bouncer energy i bet she makes the whole table shake and everyone asks her to quit it and she says Damn ok sorry and stops it for a total of 50 seconds before starting again

anyways in summary hs takane is like. tends not to notice personal space, hates touching stuff with her hands, likes having control over what or how she hears, and has a tough time staying still. POST STR... its all to the max. takane is overly aware of everything. all 5 senses are as much of a nightmare as they are a relief and it's all mixed together!!!!

ok her sensory needs that she already had pre ene are still there but completely amped up, except the personal space one. now everyone is always too close and literally just opening her eyes (HEH!! OPENING EYES!!!!) is super overwhelming bc WHOA EVERYTHING IS SO CLOSE AND HUGE AND HD. i could imagine comparing it to like, wearing contacts for the first time for any fellow glasses wearing people. like u know this, youve seen all this. but suddenly youre watching it differently without a frame around ur eyes and it just feels weird. for takane the frame was a screen instead of the glasses yknow. and to her its A LOT

i think post str takane keeps using her powers and having meltdowns because on top of all the existentialism she has to deal with being alive and everything, suddenly She Cannot Control Anything And It Is A Nightmare. she can't handle the lack of control she has over her needs and body temperature. just feeling hungry or sweating after walking for a little in summer makes her upset. bc she gets her body back during summer so GOOD LUCK WITH THAT GIRL. the clothes she wears feel all insane and irritated and nauseous!!! awful!!! even showers feel strange bc AUGGHHH so much is touching her at once!!! she also hates eating soooo yeah also a thing. i think she's always been a picky eater but post str its like she will only eat like 2 things or something

ON THE OTHER HAND.... it suddenly goes on the opposite end. like for a few days she's nightmare overstim city and then she's SUPER understim and COMPLETELYYYYY over eager about having a body and horribly indulges in like. overeating and running around <- overeating (especially when u usually avoid eating), awful for ur tummy. running a lot when u have chronic pains, also awful for ur pains later. sooo nothing she wont pay the price for later. it needs to get pointed out to her she needs to find a balance and cant have all or nothing (by haruka probably)

the personal space thing comes back here like she gets So touchy and needs hug or death. i think she can be all happy hugging haruka and all of a sudden pushes him away and is like WHOA I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW MAYBE RIP MY SKIN OFF TOO MAYBE so it's rly like a light switch all of a sudden she can get overwhelmed with it and revert. like jumping back and forth between seeking and avoiding sensation.

i drew this once but haruka with his arms inside of takane's sleeves LOLLL i think skin to skin rly helps her when she's feeling like she needs sensation. a big part of the sudden overindulgence is OUGH IM REAL!!!! bc like i said takane isnt just dealing with having a body again she's dealing with having her Life again. being alive again. and she LOVES being alive. and the avoidance of all these sensations sometimes piles up and ends on the opposite like I NEED TO EAT💥💥💥I NEED TO SCREAM💥💥💥💥I NEED TO RUN AND HUG AND KISS AND DANCE AND SWIM💥💥💥 yknow. so yeah haruka helps her a lot with it when she needs touching and hugging 🙏🙏🙏 cuz he also wont get offended if she's suddenly like Ok get away from me before i explode🙏

also post str takane To Me also has mobility issues like haruka does bc all her muscles are atrophied from yknow Not moving for 2 years so it's like, even more that she has to deal with. physical therapy is incredibly invasive to her too so it's extra difficult. i think haruka and her do it together and that's why haruka is so on top of what's going on with her, he's the closest and sees her whenever she's the most vulnerable. also their situations are So similar they cant help just gravitating to each other for support. i also think haruka's the one to always point out to her when she's overindulging like Hey i love that ur rly enjoying that bigmac but i can already see you wanting to rip out ur organs later tonight so maybe dont eat a third one.

anyways ermmm takane's biggest challenge is Stop resorting to opening eyes whenever it gets too bad. like i also got sensory issues and assuming whoever is reading also does imagine having the option to just Jump out of ur body when its feeling Awful. ofc ur gonna take it when ur feeling like that. but it doesn't help takane to do it. while it helps her to calm down, it's not good in the long run. she actively wants a PHYSICAL life and work on all this. takane never wanted to die and is super motivated to get better but it's not quick or easy!!! eventually she finds a good balance i think. she's still a rly touchy person who hates grabbing her phone directly without the sleeves in the middle and will only eat like 3 things❤️ but also a hug lover❤️

[softness-and-shattering]

I started Warrior Nun, idk a few years ago, didnt get super into it. Saw that it got super gay and also that it was picked up by another studio to be finished and thought Id give it a second try.

I was much less disabled last time around and I was confused by Ava. Why did she go to the beach instead of trying to get out of the city? Why did she care about this tech company? What was she doing?

And well. Its a whole other experience now. Shes so funny. "Im an independent woman I dont need you to save me" girl you dont know how to operate a shower, im surprised it didn't take you longer to figure out walking especially in heels, you jumped into a pool knowing you cant swim. Youre a hot mess.

Now obviously she knows enough to try not to look as vulnerable as she is. But she definitely does need help.

And then in the tech building, of *course* she's nerding out about the neural net wheelchair. Other than what did actually happen with the halo, it was the one thing that could most change her life for the better in such an immense and extreme way. Of course she knows about the latest wheelchair tech being made in her city! She doesnt even need one working hand to move it around, just her mind! Fuck yeah thats incredible!

Now how did she die is an interesting question and I definitely suspect the orphanage nun, who Im almost certainly supposed to suspect at this time. And why was her corpse in that morgue space that was also a warrior nun safehouse? It doesnt make any sense. Wouldnt the other kid have seen if she was poisoned though? Was the painkiller-bloodstream paperwork faked, because scene 1 that wasnt put down as cause of death, unless that was a cover up. Whats the connection there.

Anyway Im having a lot more fun this time around.

[hydr9]

the perception of all-rounders and "out-of-place" members in kpop

I watch a lot of full-focused/choreo-focused cams of groups, and 2day I got sucked into a small itzy choreo-cam rabbit hole, and now I'm in the mood to talk out of my ass.

itzy, obviously, as a group of their fame and status, has a lot of expectations, and a constant flood of commentary, praise, and criticism.

so, as the resident advocate for simplification, let me simplify it for you: itzy is a performance-based group

its not about having the best vocals, its about having good and stable vocals. its not about being able to sing flawlessly and with good technique and unique color, its about having good power that you can execute while doing equally good high-energy choreo.

and lia, as we've seen, faces a shitton of criticism. her vocals are too weak, her dancing is too weak, she's out of place in itzy. this gets thrown at soo many different idols, and i honestly think its mostly a downright stupid take. with how cutthroat the trainee system is, and especially with how small itzy is, do you not think there is intention behind every choice?

lia has something to offer that no one else in itzy does. that's the point. it's not about every member excelling at everything---something kpop stans seem to be obsessed with nowadays---its about being greater than the sum of all your parts.

thats why its a group. all-rounders or aces are special, of course, and theyre to be admired, but theyre not necessary. it doesnt make a group better than any other group. positions can be limiting, sure, but its important to acknowledge a member's strengths. before a group becomes famous enough that each idol will be known for what they are good at, they all have a role. something to take care of individually so that when they are together, they mesh and perform something that is the unique combination of them.

lia has this sweet, romantic, honey-voice quality that the other members dont. there are definitely some performances where her stage presence is weaker than others but she is absolutely not incapable of having a special aura about her while shes on stage. her dancing is not as powerful as the rest of the girls. but then again, for example, yuna's voice isnt as powerful as hers either. and ryujin can't capture her sweet and honey-like aura.

being an 'all-rounder' doesnt make you better at any of this. doesnt make you stand out. doesnt give the audience something to chew on, when you have average-to-good singing, dancing, and rapping skills. when idols are pigeonholed into this position, it almost makes me feel more like they dont have any actual standout skills rather than that they are actually good at everything.

this is why, for example, han from stray kids and soyeon from gidle are not all-rounders/aces just because they sing rap and dance (which most idols do, for the record). it's because they have something special to offer in each of these things. they are rappers (something many idols cant claim). and they are singers. they are all of these things, they dont just possess the capability of all of them. this might seem arbitrary and like im just picking at semantics, but i hope my point picks up.

rm from bts, for example, has a good voice. but for most of his career, he was only seen as one thing: a rapper. he didnt fight that, wasnt necessarily trying to break out of that box. he was a rapper, and that was the one thing he really cared about. he dances because he's part of an idol group. he doesn't sing, because that's not what he does. people joked about it, but no one tried to claim he was talentless because all he did was rap.

and then he released his fools cover with jungkook, and the fans were Amazed. years of joke-bad singing, and suddenly, he is singing. maybe his voice is not as strong or versatile as jungkook, but he had his moment to show another skill, and it wasnt a bad thing. because he didnt have to be good at singing. he was good enough at rapping. there wasnt any shame in that, to have one skill, one thing to be proficient at that no one can argue.

and what is this tangent to say? its that now, if an idol is bad at something, its as if its a great shame. its a great shame to say, they're the main vocal, it's okay if their dance isn't as strong as others. they're the main rapper, it's okay if their voice isn't that strong. and any combination of these things!!

i don't understand kpop fans attachment to taking any group you like, or want to support and always claiming it's a group of all-rounders. they're all always main vocals, dancers, rappers, visuals. i don't think there's any pride in that.

i think it's great to let some members step out of the spotlight when there's something they're not good at. i think it's okay, and it should again be acceptable for an idol to joke that they're not a good dancer, or a good singer. and yes, it's never okay to bully or harass or insult them, but i don't think fans should act as if there's shame in it. aren't you making it worse? to say, fuck you, my idol is better, they're all-around perfect singers, rappers, AND dancers? as if being one of these titles isn't enough pride?

and this all goes into my problem with the hate towards lia. maybe there is members of groups that are shoved into a concept that doesnt suit them. but before you jump to that, acknowledge the value they have in that group. how they can show that concept in a way no one else can.

how seungmin from stray kids, with his "pure and romantic" image can portray thunderous, an aggressive and loud song, in a way changbin with his "tough rapper" image can't. how eunchae with her young and cute image can portray antifragile in a way that yunjin with her confident and powerful image cant.

in fact, even chaeryeong has a feminine and graceful quality to her dancing that's different than yeji's powerful and precise one, and even to ryujin's fluid and heavy one.

in FACT, imagine how the fuck seventeen, a group with THIRTEEN MEMBERS, manages to have SO many different concepts, and still manages to excel at all of them, with no one feeling out of place. because there's an intent and a positive to every member, no matter how different they seem.

as usual i'll always end by unnecessarily praising seventeen. have a nice day