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Meet the Family 5
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.(petite!reader)
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: Today is my friday bc I booked time off to go see my grammy!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ���part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
You don’t dare enter the suite again until you hear snoring. You’re cautious as you move around in the low rhythm of Lloyd’s slumber. It begins to dawn on you slowly what you’ve agreed to. You’re used to controlled doses of him. You go to work, do his bidding, then clock out. There might be a few late nights but this is too much.
One million dollars. You repeat it to yourself like a mantra. With that money you can but your way free of this man once and for all. Hell, you might go back to school so you can be an insufferable boss one day. That might actually make your mother proud.
You shut yourself in the bathroom and try to wake yourself with a shower. It’s nice but your fatigue is even more obvious as you emerge. Your coffee sits cold and forgotten next to scraps of bacon and an empty cup.
You go back down to the dining hall and sit to enjoy your coffee without the threat of another awkward moment. You rub your forehead as you lean your elbow on the table and sip. Not bad for hotel brand.
You return to the room and knock before you let yourself in. You hear stirring in the bed as you do but nothing as lewd as last time. Lloyd groans and whimpers.
“My head,” he moans.
“It’s almost ten,” you say. “What time is this brunch at?”
He whines again and drags a pillow over his head. You open your carry-on and pull out your travel tube of pain killers. You cross to him and grab his hand, shoving the capsules into his palm.
“Get up,” you say, “what time?”
He clasps onto your fist and rips the pillow off. He tugs on you as he sits up. His eyes are blood shot and his forehead creased with agony. You want to laugh in his face. Serves him right.
“Twelve,” he pouts.
You wrench your hand free and go to the mini fridge. You grab him a bottle of water and toss it onto his lap. He catches it with a flinch.
“Woah, watch the gems,” he warns.
“I gotta go get my luggage. Find something appropriate,” you look down at the grey sweatshirt and leggings meant for the flight home. “Get yourself together.”
You turn and grab your jacket. You’re really not looking forward to this. You agreed to it, though, and you won’t be Lloyd. You’re not going to gripe about a decision you made. One million, one million, one million...
You go out to your car and grab your bag. You haul it back up and after another cautious tap on the door, you push your way into the room. The bathroom door is open as the shower thrums and Lloyd’s groans underline the hum. You shut it and prop your bag up on the chair.
You pick out the cashmere cream blouse with the twisted neckline and a pair of soft beige wool trousers. Presentable but not high effort. These people are not going to stress, not any more than he already has.
You change and search your toiletry bag. You use the wall mirror to get ready as you hear the shower crank off. Lloyd’s clumsy steps slap the tile and he crashes into the door from the inside. You make no effort to check on his as you blend in your blush.
“Urghhhhh,” he appears like a yeti from a snow drift, staggering with his head nearly beneath his shoulders. “I feel like a sorority girl after rush week.”
“That’s gross,” you reprimand as you put the blush stick away. “I think maybe this is a good lesson. Take it easy on the mimosas at brunch, huh?”
“Hair of the dog,” he insists as he clutches the top of the towel and stumbles to the bed. “You wanna get out my Gucci suit. You can iron the jacket--”
“Excuse me?” You turn.
“Please, my beloved,” he whines.
“N. O.” You say.
“I’m paying you--”
“That wasn’t what we discussed.”
“Wives iron suits,” he retorts.
“In 1952.” You bounce back. “Lloyd. This is business. We sell this thing to your family so you can get your money, and I can get mine, and that’s that. This is a shell. Okay?”
“Hmph,” he grunts. He sucks his teeth as he thinks and you turn back to the mirror. You see his reflection. You don’t like that twinkle in his eyes. “Well, if we really want to sell this thing, we gotta make it seem natural.” He stands up and wobbles as he braces his forehead. He takes a breath and lumbers towards you, “you gotta act like you’re into me.”
He brings his hand down and squeezes your ass. It’s more painful than you expect. You’re reminded of that unceremonious pinch issued by another of his bloodline.
You spin to face him and slap his hand down, “ow. Don’t do that.”
“Like I said, you’re not going to be engaged to guy you can’t stand. Okay? So you gotta get into it,” he reaches around you with both arms and cups your ass, pulling you flush to him. You drop your mascara and smack his upper stomach.
“Lloyd,” you growl.
“Put a little honey in it,” he kneads your ass as you squirm.
“Let go--”
“You know I’m right,” he wiggles his hips and the towel slips off.
“Oh, god!” You push on him harder.
“Mm, you know, I never realised how tiny you are. I could just...” He bends his knees as he slides one hand down your thigh and the other up your back. He angles to scoop you up. You squeal in surprise. “Ah, easy as pie. Just like me, Pixie stick.
“Lloyd, put me down,” you writhe in his grasp. “This isn’t okay!”
“Should we consummate now--”
“Ew, oh, no.”
“Ew?” He echoes. “What’s ew about it? I’m rich, I’m attractive--” He pauses as he turns and tosses you toward the bed. You land in a heap with a yelp. “And I’m strong.”
You don’t have a chance to recover before he’s on top of you. He catches your hands before you can swipe at his face and he pins them above your head. He straddles you, shamelessly naked, and snickers.
“Trust me, my thrust game is on point,” he rolls his hips and you close your eyes.
“Lloyd, off. Now.”
“I’m tryna get off, Pixie, trust,” he leans over you until you feel his breath. “We could have lots of fun. After three years of tension, you know it’s inevitable.”
“Tension?” You hiss, “oh, I don’t think it’s the kind you think.”
“You’re stressed. I’m offering you relief. A little extra bang for your buck, here.”
“No,” you grit out between your teeth, twisting your wrists in his grip and you kick your legs. You don’t like the way it makes the whole bed jostle. “Just get off of me. Please.”
“I’m trying to get in you,” he snarls.
Your eyes snap open as his nose comes down next to yours. He leers down at you as his irises no longer sparkle. His features are sinister as he puffs down at you like a wild beast. Your heart jumps into your throat. He’s no longer just a nuisance, he’s a danger.
You open and close your fingers, “we’ll be late if you don’t.”
He stares down at you. You feel him breathing, shallow and rabid, as your own heartbeat thumps in your chest. He doesn’t have to stop and there’s really nothing you can do to make him.
“Mom’s already mad at me,” he grumbles and pushes himself up. He slowly drags himself off and turns his back to you. You watch the muscles tauten and bring yourself up on your elbows.
“I’ll iron your suit,” you relent. “Just put some underwear one.”
He scoffs as you carefully roll away from him. You move as if any sudden motion might antagonize him. He gets up and grabs his phone from the night stand. He huffs as he lights up the screen.
“This licks ass,” he growls.
You go to his suitcase and open it. You search out the label with the G on it and hold up the red blazer. “Is this the one?”
He looks at you as he chews his cheek. He nods and quickly goes back to his phone, tapping on it with his thumb. You roll your eyes and find a pair of black slacks to match. You take it all out and unfold the ironing board from the wall.
You nearly wince as he approaches. He passes you and goes to his bag, bending to sift through it. “You know, I usually like to hang free.” He rips something from the suitcase, “but for you, I’ll tie the hog down.” He stands and steps into the briefs one leg at a time. He snaps the band and puts his hands on his hips. “Happy?”
“Not really,” you mutter.
“Yeah, me neither,” he sighs.
❄️
In the daylight, the Hansen’s mansion appears even more pristine. As you come up the long walk with the elaborate set stone, Lloyd neatens his mustache with a small mother of pearl comb. You give him a side glance but say nothing. He hasn’t stopped fidgeting since you got in the car.
You get to the front door and prepare yourself for another encounter with the worst people you’ve met. For all your time working for the man next to you, you should be perfectly honed for the task. Still, you’re not sure you can be ready for that bunch.
Lloyd lets himself in and you follow. As you unzip your booties, he clears his throat. “Hey, mom, we’re here.”
He receives no answer but you can hear the din humming from another room. He takes off his jacket and hangs it. You put yours next to his. His cheek ticks with dread and he forces his chin up.
You follow him to the dining room and as he enters, he receives no welcome. A few stray looks are aimed at you but no one acknowledges your arrival. Lloyd clears his throat and sits. You claim the seat next to him and peer around. How jolly of a holiday.
As your boss shifts beside you, you hold back a yawn. You haven’t got enough sleep for this nonsense. Lloyd sits forward and reaches for the jug of orange juice. Another hand reaches out to catch the crystal decanter.
“Let us get the formalities out of the way, son,” William snarls. “You owe your mother an apology.”
Lloyd rescinds his reach and flinches, “an apology?”
“Yes, you humiliated her last night, storming off like that.”
Lloyd blinks, as genuinely confused as you’ve ever seen him. His throat bobs and his eyes brows arch, “Mom,” he looks at Gwenyth as she puts her posture as straight as she can. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you? And what about this one? I’d say she started all this trouble,” she accuses as she points at you with a red acrylic.
You nearly scoff. Instead, you match her energy. “I have nothing to apologise for.”
“Pixie,” Lloyd hisses.
“No, why should I apologise? Tell me exactly what I did and I’ll let you know if I’m sorry.”
“Pix, what are you doing?” Lloyd murmurs.
“Well, you...” Gwenyth begins. “You said—You--”
“You accused me of being out for money. I’m not. You insulted him,” you gesture carelessly to Lloyd, “repeatedly. So, I’m not entirely sure what I did that offended you so much. I’ve been pleasant but it doesn’t mean you can walk all over me.”
“You are defiant,” she yaps shrilly.
“I’m being honest. And to apologise wouldn’t be honest,” you shrug. “Now, if you would rather we leave, I’m more than happy to pack up. Obviously, I can’t meet your high standards.”
“Pixie,” Lloyd whispers.
The table is silent as you stare across it. You feel the fire burning under your skin. You’re not sure where that came from. Maybe it’s because none of this really matters. You don’t need to impress them. You just need to get that courthouse contract signed and you can be on your merry way. This is all just pretense.
“Hm,” William pushes the jug toward Lloyd, “you hold onto that one. She’s clever.”
“William,” Gwenyth yowls and swats her husband’s arm.
“She has a point,” he says.
“But--”
“Suppose we are a bit hard on the boy,” he argues.
“Or maybe he’s just a disappointment,” Lillian preens. “Daddy, please. He waited forty-three years to meet expectations.”
“Better late than never,” Benson snorts. “I’d prefer never.”
There’s a bit of laughter, though Gwenyth and Lillian continue to glare across at you. You would be intimidated if you were concerned about their opinions. But they are nothing compared to your grandmother’s eternal glower or your mother’s grim sighs. You might be better prepared for this than you thought.
“Exactly what she said,” Lloyd swipes up the jug and stops himself, reaching for your glass instead of his. He fills it and presents it to you with a smirk. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“All this waiting and for what,” Gwenyth fans herself and sniffles. “And he chooses this prissy little--”
“Gwen,” William warns curtly. “Please, do not spoil another meal.”
“Me? Spoil? I never.” She whines.
“Hm, yes, we will not mention Easter then,” William tuts. “Let us just enjoy today. After all, I’m sure she could be at home with her own family.”
You could and you would rather be. Yet, that is one thing you can blame on Lloyd. The more you think of it, you can blame every single snipe and jab on him. After all, he snared you into this. You might have been easily bought but that doesn’t excuse his machinations.
You look at him with no effort to conceal the revelation. He meets your eye and his brows twitch. He bares his teeth sheepishly. Your eyes narrow as you center every ounce of exhaustion, chagrin, and general distaste in his direction.
“You okay, honey pie?” He asks softly.
You reach for your glass and examine it, “is there prosecco in this? If not, could I request some?” You turn back to the table. You hear Lloyd gulp and feel him shift before he reaches to touch your arm. It’s your turn to indulge.
#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#the gray man#series#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#meet the family
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I posted this on Twitter… BIG MISTAKE
I thought it was funny and that it would only reach the target audience… yeah
Now it has 10k likes and people want me DEAD!!!
But fr like they’re saying how disgusting and harmful it is to draw Napoleon
They assume that I’m glazing him and I think he was an awesome fella
You can check it out here
(Might go private later so do it asap)
BUT NONE OF US ACTUALLY LIKE LIKE HIM!!!
They’re so sensitive omg
And it’s the same fucking conversation every time cause there are always new people who had never encountered the history fandom before and think they’ll achieve something by telling me about a negative action of his (which I would obviously know about)
and calling it weird… yeah it’s the internet what do you expect
Maybe I shouldn’t have used the word fanart (since it makes it positive ig)but it was never supposed to reach those people anyway
I might focus more on the other figures for a little while cause it’s obvious who causes the dramaaaa
This was supposed to show the struggles I’m dealing with rn in a funi way but apparently I’m the devil now thanks
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Okay I've been seeing a lot of people talking about Viktor's characterization as a loner on this website and I don't think most people are getting it quite right. I see posts talking about assumptions of intelligent characters as being unemotional loners and about how he was so isolated because he was disabled and like. People are missing what to me is obvious.
The main reason why Viktor is such a loner is this asshole:
In season 1, before the opening theme, we get shorts of formative experiences in the main character's childhoods. If the main reason for Viktor being a loner was because he was bullied or at least excluded from playing with other kids, that would have been really easy to show. It's not like Arcane shies away from kids being mean to other kids -- look at what happened to Powder! But there's really none of that going on. He's playing away from the other kids but when he makes eye contact with Sky they seem more curious about each other than anything else. He might have been excluded but it's implied that this is not a permanent state.
But, instead of going to play with the other kids, he meets Doctor Corin Reveck and his seeming pet, Rio. Upon their first meeting, Reveck specifically flatters Viktor a lot, telling him that the reason he's alone is because he's smart, and lets him help caring for the cool exotic pet. For a little kid, this seems like a great deal... until it isn't. The pet is being cared for to be tortured, and Viktor realizes that he's only extending the creature's suffering, and he was taken advantage of to create this state of affairs.
Specifically, this creates the link in his mind that positive attention leads to being exploited. Not only does his disability lead to him being excluded, but things about that may lead him to inclusion only lead to bad things for him, too. Not only is he physically vulnerable, but his talents are also a vulnerability. This creates a lose/lose situation socially, so why participate at all?
And because this exploitation is such a normalized idea of what relationships are like for him, he keeps going back to Reveck, and allows himself to continue to be exploited, especially when he's in a vulnerable state -- he's just reverting to what he knows from childhood, that the good parts of him are a resource to be used. That's the obsession with legacy, yet at the same time he can't let himself be known to the public. Positive attention has been poisoned for him. He desperately wants it but doesn't know how to get it in a way that won't harm him. Jayce's love is what resolves this in the end.
#arcane#Viktor arcane#singed arcane#corin reveck#jayce talis#there's a huge asymmetry here#in that narratively Reveck is Viktor's father in how much of an effect he has#but Reveck doesn't care about Viktor that way#which is painful when you look at it that way#where the hell are his real parents anyway#but seriously I had like a Physical reaction to that scene#it's so obvious what is going on#I could puke
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Some analasys on Mouthwashing
This is quite litteraly my first post on the game, but i wanted to shoot my shot incase someone finds this, i rlly need to talk about this beautiful masterpiece.
People often talk about the game regarding the playthrough and theories and whatnot which is obv normal, considering thats what you need to use as a source of analasys, but one thing I never myself have seen is people talking about the title of the game itself.
I found it random how mouthwashing of all things was the word chosen from it, seeing how it is only pretty relevant in the game when the crew starts using it as a substitue for food or smth after running short on it. However, it obviously means alot more if it is the name to represent the game, and this is my take on it ^^
One thing that caught my eye is that the entire crew had hid something from the rest at one point or another, pre and post crash. Anya had hidden her abuse taken from Jimmy after Curly didnt do anything, Daisuke telling Jimmy about his problems with his mom when drunk, Swansea keeping away the escape pod so Daisuke could use it, and Jimmy and Curly are mostly related to Anyas situation, but also the scene where Curly told the crew about them being fired, making Jimmy felt lied to in a sense. So what does this mean? I feel like the mouthwash is suppose to be a 'metaphor' for the expression "to wash your mouth out with soap". Normally, this expression is used when someone says something bad or something they shouldnt have said, and in a more overexagerated sense, 'to clense your sins'. So could it basically mean that it is a weird punishment for every crew member not being truthful? Especially in dire situations? It might be, but I have another theory for it.
Another thing is the suffering the mouthwash brought to the others. One might assume that, despite the minty taste and liquid form, mouthwash would still be enough to help them survive, seeing as how its sugar contents woupd help them live for long enough to get rescued, but that doesnt seem to happen in anyones case.
The moment they discover the mouthwash storage boxes, Anyas first instinct was to read what it contained, and she immediatly panicked when she saw it had too much sugar to be used for Curly to tend to his injuries, already being a problem to two of the members. Swansea and Daisuke (mostly Swansea) took advantage of the alcohol that it contained, striking back Swanseas addiction that he sobered up from and making Daisuke think about his mother solemnly, and Jimmy is the only one left. He has the smallest disatvantage when it comes to him as a singular person, but as now captain, he sees it as him getting the biggest one, with having to make the others survive on mouthwash alone while he goes madder and more insane everyday, becoming less stable than before and distancing himself from everyone.
Thats basically all that I have to say, it might've been obvious to others, but I only thought about this a few days ago lol (im sorry for bad english).
Bye chat <3
#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#theory
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reblogging this at 2 am so my thoughts are SUPER incoherent and very offtopic and tangential, sorry about that </3
this is such a good analysis of nagi's possible backstory! and while i haven't read past the BM v MC match yet, to me this gives a lot more depth to the relationship that nagi and reo have. i might be delusional since nagi is one of my favourites and also since i don't know much about the later chapters other than a really vague direction but i think this serves as a good reminder that neither nagi nor reo are inherently 'bad' or take up an antagonistic role— they are just two boys that got too codependent and need some space away from each other to develop on their own.
i see a lot of people jump to antagonising either nagi or reo, or judge their duo as a good/bad one, but imo it's more important to view them from a more neutral lens since this isn't just about football or just about their personal lives outside of it— we can see just how much their 'personal' affects their 'field relationship' and vice versa.
from here on out i'm probably straying from the main point that OP is trying to make, so you've been warned!!!
also, if we were to assume that nagi is indeed one of the neglected to some extent kids— then i believe that chris and agi could truly have done better with how they handled nagi. it's pretty obvious that nagi is heavily dependent on reo, but instead of cutting reo out entirely they could have trained the two of them together in a way that allows them to still play together but not be completely dependent on the other. but then again i can see why this would be a much harder task to pull off because of their respective goals and their feelings towards each other (more specifically, reo's feelings towards nagi) that would definitely get in the way. like, reo is entirely capable of scoring goals on his own but he chooses not to because his main objective has always been to assist nagi— and because of this, nagi's had everything handed to him on a silver platter by reo. their formation served them well in the initial stages of blue lock but it's falling apart now, in major part because it was mostly an emotionally driven formation, which makes it a lot easier to predict especially if you're someone like isagi who knows them and their relationship.
nagi and reo are somewhat unique in that their struggles are against their own inherent natures and pasts and not because of them lacking in some sort of skill or whatever. nagi doesn't have the drive to do anything unless he has a solid goal that he wants to reach— he just won't bother putting in effort it (just like OP mentioned).
reo is willing to give nagi the attention and validation he needs; and while this was fine in the beginning, you could say he's almost starting to smother nagi now— almost mirroring the relationship reo has with his own parents, ironically enough. it's gotten to the point where reo cannot be trusted as a narrator since he let his feelings distort the words that nagi really said to him at the start of the second selection. he projected his worst fears regarding nagi and made them true in his mind. i think that reo has a problem with idolising and devoting himself to people to the point of detriment, especially to himself.
lord help me i have rambled so much about this, honestly i don't think i'm even making any sense right now. i feel like that deranged connect the dots meme man right now. somehow this all links up and makes sense in my head so i hope my disorganised addition to OPs post will somehow telepathically make sense to anyone else reading this too 🙏🙏🙏👍👍
I have this foreboding feeling that while we are prepared for Sae's and Shidou's backstory, Nagi's backstory is going to sneak from behind and punch us in the gut.
No, I don't think it's going to be straight up depression like Kaiser's, but I do think that it'll hit close to home.
You see, Nagi got Laissez-faire parents which means they never really interfered with his life. Like, these type of parents—as I have read on some websites—will basically set their child free and let them do whatever they want with no or very few rules/restrictions. They will not tell you, "Oh! You should do this!" or "Oh! You shouldn't do this!" They will simply let you figure out your life all by yourself.
I'm not an expert on this and I'm not calling this type of parenting bad in any way. Every child is different with different needs, and I'm sure there are many who grew up in this kinda family and liked this parenting method. However, I do think that Nagi didn't like it that much, and I got two reasons to think this way:
1. "That's nice."
When Reo said that his family constantly meddles in his life, Nagi's immediate reaction was, "That's nice" instead of being surprised or disgruntled. If Nagi really liked his parents NOT meddling in his life, then he should've said something like, "Really!? Sucks to be you, Reo. I can't imagine living a life like that!"
You getting me?
Also, we all know how Nagi is—he definitely feels that telling someone to do or not to do something is a hassle, so he, probably, feels that if someone is doing all this for you, then you are important for them.
And before any one says, no, I don't think Nagi was tying up his tongue thinking, "They are his parents. They wouldn't want anything bad for their own child, right? I shouldn't say anything against them and should say good things about them just to be safe." I don't think he has this kind of filter in him.
2. "Don't die ."
So, why would you not want someone to die? Of course, because you care for them and want them to be with you.
"Want"
That's really what I'm tryna highlight.
It's a pretty common knowledge that some children are just naturally more independent while others are a bit more dependent and seek guidance from the elders. Considering Nagi's first reaction to knowing about Reo's parents' meddling, I think that Kiddo!Nagi falls into the latter category—someone who likes to be guided and helped by the adults. Now, place Kiddo!Nagi with his Laissez-faire parents... You are getting where I'm going with this one?
That's why I think that Kiddo!Nagi, probably, thought that his parents didn't love him/care for him. And what happens if someone doesn't love you or care for you? Yeah, they don't care if you die which, somewhat, explains why Older!Nagi was happy to hear, "Don't die [before us (probably)]" from his parents.
I have already talked about his potential backstory before too, so it was actually when I heard he had longer bangs as a child that made my head turn to him again—something felt odd.
I understand that having long bangs is not a big deal—Niko's bangs literally cover his eyes, but having it as a kid is way different, y'know. Once you are like 12-13, you somewhat become capable of doing your own hair and clothes by yourself, so you can manage whatever aesthetics you prefer. However, for a kid younger than that, it's the parents' responsibility to look after his/her hair and clothes, and we all know that long bangs are quite bothersome—blocks our vision, sometimes stabs the eyes, and even irritatingly itches the nose.
All in all, till his backstory drops, I'd firmly believe that he was, though unintentionally, a neglected kid—at least, emotionally.
Now I can't get this image out of my head where Kiddo!Nagi is longingly staring at other kids in a park where everyone is learning things like riding a bicycle or maybe playing baseball and stuff with their parents while he is just.. there, probably, all alone.
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Honestly speaking I don't think Horner or Marko are making any decisions about the second driver situation in RBR anymore. It seems to me that whoever is in charge of RB now (the Thai side) made the call about the second seat, i.e. keep Checo, and Daniel was the biggest block, so they removed him. And Checo is appealing because of his backer - the Slim family, their money, and their influence in Mexico.
I don't think people understand Thai business operations and the sheer level of corruption. As soon as the rumours started that the Thai side won the power struggle in Red Bull I started worrying. Red Bull Thai owner is fucking powerful, there's a reason why his son Vorayuth Yoovidhya faced NO consequences for killing a police officer in a motor accident.
And if the rumours are true about the Thai side wanting to keep Checo in order to work with Carlos Slim that's more than enough to get rid of Daniel and ensure Checo stays. Carlos Slim Helú and his son Carlos Slim Domit have been invested in Checo's whole driving career. Hell, Carlos Slim Domit met Checo when the latter was 7 and he was in his 30s, their fathers are friends etc. The Slim family made a promise that they would get Checo to win F1, whatever the fuck that means.
Horner and Marko can say whatever they want, talk about this and that person's performance. And none of it matters because it is obvious RB ownership is making the calls.
What I'm curious about is the shareholders meeting. I think BOTH the Slims and the Thai owner are feeling the scrutiny a bit too much. F1 is an international sport, and no matter how powerful they are in their own country, they are now dealing with, well, they are dealing with America, and Checo's continual losing has led to way too much attention on them. And they DON'T want that.
So the shareholders meeting is going to be really interesting. I'm curious how much the Austrian side is going to push the Thai said to get something they might want. Because the Austrian side still owns 49% of the company, and losing the battle earlier in the year doesn't mean they have no power. They still have power, it is a question of what they want from the Thai side to maintain the peace. And let's not forget the fact Daniel, by all signs, is still technically a Red Bull Racing contracted employee. And that means he is still technically on the board to be used in this continuing internal war.
Anyways, sorry about the long babble. But I'm so fascinated by this whole thing.
you came through with the facts like hello you did your damn research!!! i love itttt. i've been trying not to post any of the essays i get in my asks but i love this one so i will happily make an exception for a fact checking queen (gn). slay what's your star sign.
#ask!#but yah i agree#we've been too focused on the horner and helmut of it all when you're so right there's more behind it#a lotttt more people#and a lot more agendas#and a lot more power
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an update:
hey friends a lot of people have been asking where ive been on other socials and im sorry for being m.i.a and ignoring everyone’s worries. im not getting into it right now and i dont know if i want to talk about the details publicly.
i deleted tumblr from my phone about two and a half weeks ago and ive had a friend keeping a queue going on main for me. it might be that way permanently now i don’t know. I don’t know that I want to come back to tumblr if im being honest. a lot of things happened and i just can’t handle seeing certain people anymore so i’ve been hanging out on two of the more safer socials where tumblr people people generally leave me alone. not that im upset with you any of you or anything it’s more of a personal relationship and it just turned me off of basically everything and i just can’t handle a lot right now.
i didn’t want to stop posting my own content for obvious reasons but i really can’t bring myself to come back it’s too hard and my heart can’t handle it right now. i also haven’t taken any new photos or anything and as of right now i don’t really feel super comfortable in sharing my body in that way. situations have made me feel disgusting as a person and i can’t look at myself. im trying to post more on ig to boost myself back up but i don’t know my self image is kind of ruined now. plus i’ve lost 15lbs from stress and inability to eat because of it and with how many people already harass and bully me for how scrawny i am i don’t want to subject myself in my current mental state to even the possibility of anyone saying anything.
but like i said i have a friend running main for me and i might have them run this account too and my pepper page just because i do want to go back to making content i just dont know if i can handle posting or being in certain spaces right now.
on top of what im currently dealing with in my personal life this is just a really hard time for me in general because of the holiday season and close to the anniversary of my best friends death so i tend to shut down a little anyway it’s just my entire world came crashing down again and im honestly starting to give up on even existing. i know im being melodramatic and i need to suck it up and just go back to status quo it’s just really hard this time and i cant force myself into a positive headspace like i used to even for a second. i have honestly never felt this empty and i barely know who i am or what my worth is anymore.
i dont know if i’ll turn my asks back on. my friend offered to answer anything for me but its better for my mental health if i dont because i know people will ask questions and i dont trust myself to not completely go off on a tangent. im sorry i know im rambling but i feel like a proper update with zero room for misunderstanding is needed and i dont want to sugarcoat or lie to any of you to make myself seem or feel better cuz i respect the hell out of you guys and you deserve honesty if for nothing else. and i appreciate so fucking much you all continuing to support me and hype me up through all the bullshit life keeps throwing at me.
im mostly on ig and threads right now and on threads im talking about games and movies with new people im meeting and it’s been really helping through shit. if you follow me on snap you saw me say im thinking about deleting everything. my accounts are still up and as long as my friend still wants to help me out i’ll at least have a queue running on main but i’ve deleted every social app other than ig and threads. i wholeheartedly planned on deleting snap last night but it’s the only way some of you get any updates from me so for now i wont delete it but i might make a new one instead just to get away from situations that are bringing me down. we’ll see. if I make a new snap i’ll post it everywhere n put it in my bios. that being said i don’t have a private/nsfw snap and i wont make one im sorry. i still wont sell content outside of what i post on peppers and i wont do customs im sorry. maybe in the future but right now i need to focus on myself and getting out of this headspace before i do anything else.
but truly thank you for sticking with me and just genuinely being the best crew around. i promise to try my best to get out of this mess of a headspace im in as quickly as possible and im really sorry for basically abandoning everything again but i really am hopeful for the future and just trying to focus on myself and my happiness at the moment 🙏🏻🧡
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UConn vs Ole Miss
imma just do a player breakdown cause i think that's the best way to break this one down. sorry but this is gonna be rambly.
paige: i mean i gotta address the obvious, pretty sure she tied her career high for turnovers, when i saw that stat i was hoping i would watch and see that maybe there were other things that led to them, but honestly all of them were her fault and just dumb errors, she did good with the physicality of old miss, but that wasn't surprising, she's still over-helping on defense too much. i also hate seeing her go from floor general to standing around any time she's on the floor with kkm but i think that might be a coaching thing.
azzi: oh how i loved this. firstly, big dawg az is basically averaging 1 block a game since her return, i know this is the boring part but i'm such a nerd for good defense and seeing how much she looks like her old defensive self from like hs has me geeking. i love seeing how smart she plays. in the past, she's gotten in her head when shots aren't falling and either just stopped shooting or kept settling for the three. seeing someone so notorious for that to be the one lifting them out of the 0-15 run just made me tear up. loved seeing her drive and cut, while also still taking a few 3's. i would love to see her take a few more middy's in the next game cause those are always beautiful.
sarah: strong first half, but they definitely targeted her in the second and she got clamped. however because of what she's shown, i am excited to see how she responds to that. also, the 3 ball... i like that she's not afraid to shoot, but i think after 4 misses, especially as a post-player, it's time to cut your losses. defensively she still looked solid, even when they were being aggressive.
jana: i mean with her size, just having her on the court helps this team, especially against aggressive teams like ole miss. you could really see her trying to stay disciplined on defense and not foul and it showed. one of the fouls she got called on was actually bs, but i'm glad she didn't get heated over it. i love her fiery energy on the court and i think it's a good compliment to a lot of the quieter people on the court. she only got 3 fga but she was 100%, which was her biggest problem last time. however, i need her shooting freethrows every day. especially as a center, it is so easy to get fouled and those need to be easy points.
ice: this was her best defensive game i've seen so far. she took to aggression from ole miss really well and was reacting a lot faster. what i've noticed so far from ice is that she is either doing well on offense or defense, but she hasn't had a game where she's contributing on both ends of the floor. i also think she could maybe work on her handle and be able to not be so stationary on offense. jana's taller and is still able to move with the ball more. i think she's lucky she never got double-teamed and stripped, because she won't move with the ball. also there is no world in which she needs to be attempting more than one 3 a game. overall glad to see her improving each game, even if it is incremental.
kaitlyn: gosh this one hurts me. it's harder watching her not score more, when we've seen all that she's got in her bag and she's typically on the floor with another pg. defensively i think she was great and i think both of her fouls were smart and not the typical dumb stuff. i would still take her over kk, just because of her level-headedness and leadership, but with azzi back in the mix and multiple players who can switch between guard and forward, she's not really making an argument for why she should be on the court over others.
ashlynn: liked to middy instead of the regular 3, but zero 3pta's for her is just dumb. at this point i would rather see lower efficiency and just take more shot attempts, but mixing it up between 3's, middy, and getting to the rim. on the postive, i did notice she went under less screens in this game. even though she's improved tremendously on defense, that was an old habit that came back last game and i was happy to see the adjustement.
kk: i'm sorry but i'm just not seeing it. she just has to have more to offer the team offensively than passing and layups, especially being so small. stronger defensive teams are gonna continue to block her shot. i thought we were finally seeing her experimenting with a little floater, but haven't seen that in a bit and the middy and 3 pt shot are still nonexistent. very reminiscent of nika, but at least nika had more of a leadership and aggressive quality to her that helped with the team's energy. i just really cannot see her running this team next year. also putting her on the court now just takes paige off the ball which is the last thing this team needs. i simply cannot see why she is over 10 minutes when morgan is a better defender and allie can shoot.
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[Looks around] Ok I don't think anyone is looking...
Ok so I just wanted to let out some design ideas I have for a C.yberpunk 2077 Panchi and some little facts I've thought up about them! The main thing being that their Design is heavily inspired by C.elty from D.urarara! Mainly just the Blue/Yellow/Black Helmet with cat ears and maybe they use a motorcycle like she does! The outfit itself would probably be quite different but I've yet to decide on the rest of the outfit
Speaking of the helmet, it's a pretty noticeable part of them! Mainly because they rarely take it off. Seeing them without their iconic helmet is a big sign of trust for them! It's not limited to romantic partners, it could also be for close friends as well! Though if you notice that a certain rockstar mentions how they've seen Panchi without the helmet...no you don't- Speaking of that rockstar! If you see Panchi wear a piece of jewelry that they got from that rockstar years ago and still wear it in present day...no you don't-
Oh and also they don't have a lot of cyberware on them, the most noticable (if not the only) piece of cyberware they have is one on their Left Eye. Though I've yet to figure out the details of it ^^
#pan rambles#Afjsnfjsfn I think only like...4 people know which C.yberpunk guy caught my eye#But making this post might make it more obvious for more people-#But yeah! that's what I got so far about them!#Usually my s/is designs come first and the lore comes later! So apologies if you were expecting a bunch of lore ^^“#Also Shout out to my dear pal Ash <3 You've been such a great help with this s/i!#Couldn't have done it without you!!
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭
like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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jenndoesnotcare replied to this post:
Every time LDS kids come to my neighborhood I am so so nice to them. I hope they remember the blue haired lady who was kind, when people try to convince them the outside world is bad and scary. (Also they are always so young! I want to feed them cookies and give them Diana Wynne Jones books or something)
Thank you! Honestly, this sort of kindness can go a really long way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
LDS children and missionaries (and the majority of the latter are barely of age) are often the people who interact the most with non-Mormons on a daily basis, and thus are kind of the "face" of the Church to non-Mormons a lot of the time. As a result, they're frequently the ones who actually experience the brunt of antagonism towards the Church, which only reinforces the distrust they've already been taught to feel towards the rest of the world.
It's not that the Church doesn't deserve this antagonism, but a lot of people seem to take this enormous pride in showing up Mormon teenagers who have spent most of their lives under intense social pressure, instruction, expectation, and close observation from both their peers and from older authorities in the Church (it largely operates on seniority, so young unmarried people in particular tend to have very little power within its hierarchies). Being "owned" for clout by non-Mormons doesn't prove anything to most of them except that their leaders and parents are right and they can't trust people outside the Church.
The fact that the Church usually does provide a tightly-knit community, a distinct and familiar culture, and a well-developed infrastructure for supporting its members' needs as long as they do [xyz] means that there can be very concrete benefits to staying in the Church, staying closeted, whatever. So if, additionally, a Mormon kid has every reason to think that nobody outside the Church is going to extend compassion or kindness towards them, that the rest of the world really is as hostile and dangerous as they've been told, the stakes for leaving are all the higher, despite the costs of staying.
So people from "outside" who disrupt this narrative of a hostile, threatening world that cannot conceivably understand their experiences or perspectives can be really important. It's important for them to know that there are communities and reliable support systems outside the Church, that leaving the Church does not have to mean being a pariah in every context, that there are concrete resources outside the Church, that compassion and decency in ordinary day-to-day life is not the province of any particular religion or sect and can be found anywhere. This kind of information can be really important evidence for people to have when they are deciding how much they're willing to risk losing.
So yeah, all of this is to say that you're doing a good thing that may well provide a lifeline for very vulnerable people, even if you don't personally see results at the time.
#jenndoesnotcare#respuestas#long post#cw religion#cw mormonism#i've been thinking about how my mother was the compassionate service leader in the church when i was a kid#which in our area was the person assigned to manage collective efforts to assist other members in a crisis#this could mean that someone got really sick or broke their leg or something and needs meals prepared for them for awhile#or it could mean that someone lost their job and they're going to need help#it might mean that someone needs to move and they need more people to move boxes or a piano or something#she was the person who made sure there was a social net for every member in our area no matter what happened or what was needed#there's an obvious way this is good but it also makes it scarier to leave and lose access#especially if there's no clear replacement and everyone is hostile#i was lucky in a lot of ways - my mother was unorthodox and my bio dad and his family were catholic so i always had ties beyond the church#my best friend was (and is) a jewish atheist so i had continual evidence that virtue was not predicated on adherence to dogma#and even so it was hard to withdraw from all participation in church life and doubly so because the obvious alternative spaces#-the lgbt+ ones- seemed obsessed with gatekeeping and viciously hostile towards anyone who didn't fit comfortable narratives#so i didn't feel i could rely on the community at large in any structural sense or that i had any serious alternative to the church#apart from fandom really and only carefully curated spaces back then#and like - random fandom friends who might not live in my country but were obviously not mormon and yet kind and helpful#did more to help me withdraw altogether than gold star lesbians ever did
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.
#yes this is about voltron and it's also about guardians of the galaxy#what james gunn did to gamora in GOTG3 is criminal#i understand why they did it but to end with her GOING BACK TO THE RAVAGERS?#fail end.#seriously#and it doesnt even make sense bc ofc the high evolutionary isnt going to be the last problem they would deal with#in just a few years they encountered 5 people trying to destroy the universe and who were incredibly difficult foes#youre finna tell me there will never be a situation like that for the rest of their lives?#gtfo#and mantis' end was dumb too not even sorry#i can tolerate drax and nebula's ends.#but everyone else?#stupid#even peter's ending was fucking moronic. bro can pop in on the weekends he doesnt need to be a live in nurse for his grandpa#it's just such a major letdown and sucks everytime a director/author decides to split up the found family permanently#at least with voltron you can rationalize it by saying 'oh they never really wouldve hung out with eachother if they werent forced to for#voltron and werent forced to fight a war together.' and i can see it bc none of them DO hang out together before voltron#they barely even hang out AFTER they become voltron#keith and shiro hang out bc of the adoption/fostering/mentoring thing. lance and hunk MIGHT hang out bc they were already teammates#it's important to note that we never really see hunk and lance being bffs. theyre just friendly to eachother.#this becomes even more apparent once hunk and pidge actually become friends. it's very obvious hunk was just being friendly to lance.#just friendly.#(take this with a grain of salt bc ive only watched the whole series one time. i refuse to acknowledge anything after se 2.)#so yeah it does make more sense theyd all go their own ways but not even the small friend groups stay together at the end!#pidge and hunk are in completely different galaxies from eachother. same with keith and shiro#lance is isolated from all of them bc post se 3 writing team genuinely hated him and failed him as a character.#but GOTG3? they CHOSE to band together time and time again. they CHOSE to be a team. they CHOSE to be family#for every single one of them to say 'nah fuck that i want to be on my own bc uhhh reasons!' is a lame ending.#period.#gotg3
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The duality of man is when you love Hadestown so much that you hate Hadestown
#me being me#idk something something show getting generic#like it’s still a good show but a good show and 4/5 and 8/10 rating for a show such as hadestown is shameful#I do think that hadestown should hit like a life changing event that made me fall in love with it#not like some generic Broadway/WE show that you see and vaguely remember liking a year after#and like it’s kinda sad to understand that it doesn’t quite hit like this now#either because of acting choices of some folks (which tbh not fully their fault and I wrote a post about it)#either because Anaïs decides to make a lyric change which is like the most obvious downgrade#that it makes me think ‘oh the show thinks I’m stupid’#instead of idk making the one change people have been complaining for years#like even fuck it just idk leave what works working#idk I feel like seeing WE made me thinking about it more#and I did enjoy the show a lot and I had fun#but also I keep thinking how some small bits didn’t fit and the show didn’t hit as it should#which makes me feel of people who will experience ht for the first time and might not understand the show’s full impact like I did#idk just thoughts
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In Room For Growth Mariner really does heavily imply that she'd finally do something to get herself kicked out of Starfleet if Brad's "Bold Boimler" antics got him killed.
#lower decks#lwd#marinler#beckett mariner#bradward boimler#sorry sorry#I don't mean to keep posting things about old seasons#but I'm rewatching everything with The Inner Fight goggles on now#Anyways it's interesting to me how in the context of season 4#A lot of Mariners quippy one liners start to actually come across#as someone expressing very intense and frequent anxiety about death and abandonment#but doing so in a way that wouldn't be immediately obvious if you didn't know how much Sitos death effected her#like there's a lot of lines I laughed at when first watching the show#that now I watch them and I'm like 'oh no Mariner 🥺🥺🥺🥺'#like I'm actually sort of coming to the conclusion that she is - base level - more anxious and high strung than Boimler is#she just expresses that anxiety in a less obvious ways so the people around her don't pick up on it#might make a longer post about this once I've finished my rewatch
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
[ID in alt text]
#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but�� it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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