#But it's better to give yourself time to process things.
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Quick reminder as we head into Trump’s first week in office. We are about to see an onslaught of executive actions designed to strip of us our rights. We’ve seen this before.
Many of them won’t be legal, many of them won’t take effect immediately, and some of them will be just plain nonsense. Trump alone can’t change the law (yet anyway- that’s Congress) and there is an official government process for enacting most executive actions that works slowly.*
There will be time to fight against these orders—either by stopping them entirely, weakening them, or at least slowing them down.
The purpose of doing so many terrible things at once is to scare us. Is to intimidate us to cede more ground than we need to. Don’t let them.
Stay engaged, stay angry, stay hopeful (or spiteful- me tbh), and—most importantly—stay strategic. Find an organization you trust, follow them, and take action when they ask you to.
(Side note- pick just a few issues to care deeply about and only follow a few organizations you trust. Don’t try to solve everything all the time or consume every piece of news. You WILL burn yourself out and that’s not helpful for anyone. Trust me, speaking from experience. Staying 15% engaged is better than 120% for three months and then 0%).
What we’re seeing right now is a backlash to decades of progress—a dying (and by extension dangerous I’m not gonna lie) breath of those in power desperate to maintain control. They wouldn’t be trying to squash us if there wasn’t something to squash.
TL;DR- there’s gonna be a lot of bad stuff in the news today. Don’t give into panic. There will be time to fight most of it. Stay engaged.
*Unfortunately, there will be some actions the President can control on his own and will take effect immediately. ICE Raids being one of them. Here’s a Know Your Rights factsheet. To learn more and stay informed on this issue, recommend following National Immigration Law Center, CASA, Immigrant Defense Project.
#idk if anyone needs to hear this but wanted to say something#vividly remember the first week of Trump in 2017#it was awful but also there were more opportunities to fight back than I expected#Donald Trump#trump administration#fuck trump#us politics
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Only things you can give and not get back time and yourself.
Be, Grow, Heal, Use, Experiment, Observe, Rest, Learn and Unlearn; yourself, your members & your gifts, with intention and deliberation.
The law of motion says anything around you must follow suit.
Remember this law does not only apply to physical things that hold measurable weight, this law applies to ANYTHING in motion. i.e. names you call yourself, negative grudges or anger you holding and wearing and toxifying on everything around you, this the one for me, grief you haven't processes, cuz it's like carrying a bag of malluble bricks everywhere I go, realized until I move that energy into something, it won't change and I can't grow. Spiritual atrophies and neglect of self, can turn from a lie you been keeping up, into family traditions, if you not careful and don't pay attention to you. Watch how you talk to yourself, watch how you handle your body, Watch how you intake anything food the bible tv, Watch out for what you don't like while you're figuring out what you do, Watch how you interact with people because motion is a action that always has power.
Take daily data on yourself and listen when your body or mind has a need. Take risks and make mistakes so you can do better if you get the chance tomorrow. Try new when you can and know your classics. Speak up for your absolutes and always admit faults when in ignorance, Most of all remain grateful and forgiving for resiliency, but don't take your eyes of yourself.
YOUR TARGET IS ON YOUR BACK.
Make sure you know your motions motive, move on it and back it up.
~Peach Bassy
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PICK A CARD: How you two would solve conflict
Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! In here I will give you a reading on how you and your FS will solve conflict. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting!
Masterpost > Paid Readings > Subliminal Channel
~pick a card~
Pile 1:
You two would solve most issues with talking. It doesn’t matter how bad the conflict is, how long it’s been going on, or anything else. Whatever it is, conversing will fix the most issues and heal most harm having been done. Whenever you and your partner will talk it will give insight on how you (as well as them) feel about situations. Often times just seeing the other’s perspective is the thing needed to solve your issues with one another. Understanding and insight is what is needed in your relationship, and that is something talking will get you most.
Pile 2:
Gift giving will be the method of solving conflict between the two of you. A lot of times your fights won’t be that big of a deal; little quarrels, that when looking back at it were completely unnecessary. Little gifts will solve any ill feelings after having been silent to one another for a couple of hours. It doesn’t matter how big or how small; some small trinkets, flowers, or even pretty things found in nature that the other enjoys will be enough. It’s about the thought behind it, and giving each other things when trying to make the situation better shows care and consideration. That you care more about one another than that stupid argument.
Pile 3:
The way you and your future partner will be solving conflict with one another would be by spending quality time together. No matter how bad your issues turn out to be; at some point one of you two will ask if you can go on a walk together, drive for a little and get some comfort food in a drive-through. Just being together at peace and in complete silence is what you both need I order to process what has been happening, and opening yourself up to the perspective of the other person to create understanding.
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick an image#pac#pap#spirituality#spiritual#divination#tarot#tarot reading#tarotoftheday#tarot readings#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot commissions#love reading#love readings#future spouse readings#future spouse reading#future spouse#fs#fs reading#loa#law of assumption#future relationship reading#loass
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what are friends for?
joshua hong x fem!reader cw: 18+ mdni, smut, protected sex, lewd language, casual hook up, mild flirting and seduction ncteenv: this was supposed to be absolute filth but towards the end i gave in to lovemaking
a sweatshirt?
you turned in the mirror again, eyeing yourself from the side and then the front.
it was one of your favorites, a deep red cable knit with a hole worn into one of the elbows because you favored it over all the others. and it was comfortably a few sizes too big, reaching past your hips and covering your butt enough to walk around your apartment without pants.
you grabbed the hem and pulled it over your head, tossing it to the side.
now simple black laced panties and bralette stared back at you in the dim reflection of your mirror.
too much?
the panties left nothing of your ass to the imagination, so you shrugged the sweatshirt back over your head along with a pair of shorts.
turning away from the mirror, you faced your bedroom and scanned over everything to make sure it was… right.
it wasn’t too clean or too messy, but casual. because that’s all that this was. a casual hook up.
the curtain lights over your window illuminated the room in a warm glow. you all but dropped your phone when it buzzed in your hand, receiving a single text.
‘i’m here. let me in.’
the clicks of your keyboard were all to be heard through your apartment as you made your way to the front door. you ditched your shorts on the way over.
[an hour earlier]
“wait,” joshua laughed on the other line, “you’re telling me that you and gyu never—“
“no, we never did it. but, what i’d give for a good fucking.” your voice came out in a low groan.
he was silent, processing. you on the other hand had a heart beating absolutely out of your ribcage in this moment, and wanted him to say something.
anything.
“hm..” was all joshua could come up with.
it wasn’t unlike you both to end up on the phone like this for hours at a time, and the subject was no surprise either.
“is it okay to say that i’m craving a good fucking?”
“you can always say it, y/n,” he reassured you, “but what can you do about it?”
“fuck you?”
you nervously chewed your thumb nail, deciding on whether or not to lead the conversation in the way you’d been intending all along.
“what?!” the statement seemed to have caught him off guard.
“what what?”
“y/n, be serious.”
“i am. it’s been months since i’ve had cock.”
“y/n.”
“joshua,” you answered, heart still pounding. it was cute, really, but you both knew where you’d ultimately end up. “look, i’m not proposing a one night stand or that we’d become friends with benefits.”
“no. that is exactly what this sounds like.”
“well— we’ve kissed plenty of times before without things becoming awkward.”
“but it was never deep, tongue-filled kisses. only light pecks.”
you sighed, becoming annoyed with his hesitation. “you seem to have an explanation for everything.”
a low groan, most likely accompanied by a slow drag of his hand down his face, echoed in your ears. followed by a soft chuckle.
“but.. why me?” joshua suddenly asked.
“who else better?”
“i just assumed you and mingyu—“
“then i can ask mingyu instead. he’d have no problem with—“
“you can stop that now. that’s not going to work on me, y/n.”
you bite your bottom lip, the conversation coming to a brief silence. you could only hope your forwardness didn’t make him uncomfortable.
“will you come over?” you asked, adding a sweet “please?”
joshua paused for a second. he was probably pondering. considering.
“just,” he sighed, “give me a moment. i’ll be there soon.”
your cheeks burned.
and he hung up.
[now]
your chest tightened when there was a soft knock at the door. with a deep breath, you turned the knob.
joshua stood in front of you and you couldn’t hold back your smile the moment you made eye contact.
he was dressed clean, as if he’d just spent a weekend in the hamptons. the sunlight caught in his hair, created a halo effect that made your heart skip a beat.
“so,” you giggled, “is this a booty call or?”
he opened his mouth, pretending to be offended. “i haven’t been invited in yet, i can leave right—“
you grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, shutting the door to push him against it.
“don’t think either of us want that, shua.” your voice was barely above a whisper, lips dangerously close.
he shifts you suddenly so that you’re the one being pressed against the door and leaned in to give you a single kiss, short and sweet.
“y/n?”
“hmm?”
joshua nosed down to the skin of your neck pressing gentle kisses there, as well. you turned your head to the side to give him more access.
“are you truly sure that you want to do this with me?”
you were too distracted by the way his lips were ghosting over your collarbones, humming in response to his words.
“i want to give you the fucking you’re craving,” his finger hooked under your chin, guiding your face to look at him, “but i want to be able to look at you afterwards and not feel like i’ve ruined our friendship.”
you searched his eyes as if you were weighing his words carefully, finding sincerity and genuine concern there.
“promise me.”
you nodded, tugging at the curls behind his ears, “i promise.”
joshua wasn’t afraid to take the lead on things and gingerly parted your lips with his tongue, eliciting a small moan from your throat. his fingers still held your chin protectively as he deepened the kiss, gently thumbing over your cheek as he did so.
you whined as he pulled back, subconsciously leaning forward into him with a pout. “hey…”
he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself, drawing in a deep breath.
“we should move to the bedroom.” joshua spoke lowly.
“yeah..”
taking his hand, you dragged him into your room, kicking your shorts into a corner on the way.
joshua had been in your room many times before. often crashing on your bed if movie night ran too late or he had a long practice. and waking up the next morning cuddled in his arms was no big deal, but this time was different.
he stood in the doorway, watching over your silhouette until you turned around, noticing he’s stopped.
“come here.”
“are you sure you want this?” he asked again.
“joshua,” you laughed, “i’m pretty horny so yeah, i want this. i promise. i’ll say it in korean if it’ll convince you.”
“don’t. your korean is terrible.” he mumbled.
you patted the empty spot on the bed next to you. he sighed with a smile and made his way toward you.
without a second thought, he pushed you backwards into the pillows at your headboard and smothered you in kisses.
your hands that hungrily searched under him, tugging at his pants, were suddenly pinned against the mattress by joshua and stood no chance against his strength.
“if we’re gonna do this,” he looked you in the eyes, “then we have to do it right.”
you squirmed beneath him to let him drag your clothes off, and barely contained your squeal at his mouth trailing lower.
“is this.. my sweatshirt?” joshua tugged at the hem.
you hummed in thought. it very well may be his. and it was probably the reason you loved it so much.
“just take it off. please.” you begged.
he obliged, as the sweatshirt was pulled over your head, you felt a rush of cool air on your skin, followed by the warmth of joshua’s hands as he touched your bare shoulders. his fingers trailed down your arms, leaving a path of gentle caresses that sent shivers down your spine.
he took a moment to appreciate the sight of you and you bashfully look up at him. “what?”
“you’re pretty.”
a smile twinged at your lips, “yeah?”
“yeah,” his mouth returned to yours, “really, really pretty.” you felt the tension between you build as he deepened the kiss.
your hands, still pinned beneath his, strained against his grip, eager to touch him back. but joshua held firm, controlling the pace of intimacy.
as he broke from your lips, you gasped for air, only to have him claim your neck once more, and you couldn’t help but arch into his touch.
“joshua,” you whispered urgently, “please.”
he paused, looking at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. “what do you want?” he asked softly.
you swallowed hard, trying to find the words to express the desperation building inside you. “i want.. i want to feel you, too.”
a slow smile spread across his face as he released your hands from their pinned position. you immediately took advantage of the freedom to explore his body, tracing the contours of his chest and abdomen through his shirt, and began to shed his clothes piece by piece until you’re both lying there in nothing but skin and anticipation.
you took the lull into action as an opportunity to rid your chest of the bralette and pushed yourself back against the bed, assuming the position you’d been in just seconds before.
watching joshua was a treat in and of itself. he was measured in how he placed his rubber over his tip, rolling it down his length.
he hovered above you, his face trying to read yours.
“are you sure this is what you want?” he asked for the last of what felt like a thousand times.
“yes. don’t you want me?” your cheeks began to prickle with heat. he wasn’t answering. “joshua?”
he had never wanted you as much as he did right now.
“more than anything.” he answered lowly.
your breathing escalated and became rushed when you felt him remove your last item of clothing, tossing your panties to the floor.
like missing pieces of a puzzle you fit together perfectly. the pressure that had surged on entry vanished when you remembered it was joshua inside of you. you felt slightly smug knowing that if you weren't compatible in any other way at least you were here. holding you so close to him, you moved slowly in unison.
joshua’s left hand twisted in your hair as his right held your waist, keeping you in motion with him. you couldn't think, you couldn't breath, your body and mind were going insane with pleasure. you let out short, quick gasps pulling at his hair and clutching on to his back.
his pace quickened now and your back began to arch involuntarily. joshua propped an arm beneath it, holding you in place while his other arm clasped your right leg around his waist, allowing for deeper movement. he was inhaling and exhaling loudly, the chill of his breath smouldering your skin in an all too good a way. some of the weight he was holding off he allowed to push down, grinding into you. lifting you, your back slammed into the headboard. it should have hurt but you didn't feel the pain.
joshua’s eyes looked quickly into yours, alarmed, afraid he'd hurt you. you pushed your lips into his, emphasizing that you were okay. no harm done. while being held against the board, his hands clasped around your thighs, you let your hands wander over every part of his body, taking in every inch of his skin. no imperfections to be found, just layers of astonishing beauty.
tangled together you mimicked each other’s movements. he didn't need to confirm your thoughts, he knew exactly what you wanted and when you released your legs slightly from his waist he moved you back down underneath him again. the board had been chaffing a bit and you were glad to feel the pressure of joshua’s weight, covering you from head to toe like a silk blanket.
relaxing his body so you were barely moving at all, joshua delicately ran his lips along your jaw, stopping at your hairline and kissed your forehead tenderly. the warm ache that had been emerging from between the both of you was sitting on standby, intensifying and waiting. He knew this, his crooked smile was knowing.
"joshua," you choked as he placed a playful kiss on your nose, "please don't stop!"
smiling, he started kissing you hungrily again, bringing your pace back up to speed, the passion thickening more than you thought possible. rising, soaring you both came fast and thrilling. you gasped loudly trying to keep your head from spinning off with all these new feelings taking over.
joshua buried his face in your neck, his moans filling your ear as you hugged and stroked his head, fingers tangling in his hair.
nothing compared to how incredible this felt. pulsing, pulsing and then the calm.
#seventeen#svt#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#seventeen joshua#joshua hong#joshua hong x reader#joshua hong smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#minors dni#ncteenv works
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"Death before Detransition" is a righteous phrase. I understand the thought and emotion behind it. But I ask trans youth, please do not feel beholden to it. I ask trans people of all ages, honestly. Please do not feel like you have to die.
Obviously, I do not mean give up without a fight. Fight. Make a scene. But do not die. If you are being pressured or forced to detransition, if you are halting transition, whether for your family or your safety or the weight of societal pressure, that is not the end of you.
Things will get better. Your time will come. But now, in the thick of it, you can do more good for yourself and other trans people from the closet than you can from a coffin. Do not give in, never give in, but do not die. Do not let them kill you.
Do not make a martyr of yourself. We have too many martyrs. Murdered children, suicidal teens, beaten women. This administration will undoubtedly create more of them. Do not help that process along.
Do not die for your right to be trans. Fight for it. Live for it. Even now.
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severing the connection of the titans to themselves, each other and their children, to the world, and with it severing the connection of the dwarves to their true nature, the basic state of love and belonging that should be their birthright. ("our children, orphaned".) severing the connection between rook and the reality and true memory of varric, and thus from themselves and their own healing grief AND love. (do we spot the echo, perhaps?) severing (mostly accidentally this time, I'll give him that) the connection between the fade and the real world, dream and reality.
the scale we're operating on varies from the mythic, the cosmic and existential, to the individual and deeply, nauseatingly intimately personal, but it's the same pattern every time. solas keeps committing the same act of enforced dissociation, of creating orphaned pain that cannot even know itself, estranged from its own history, origins and coherence, unhealable in being impossible to recognize for what it is and thus unreachable. (hello lucanis in the minrathous saved route btw. this theme echoes everywhere when you look for it. I do love this game.) making others strangers to themselves for his own purposes and being surprised when it blows up in his face horrifically once more even when it's his same indelible original sin repeated, again and again and again. dissociation is a natural process the mind uses to protect itself from unbearable pain, but to knowingly cause that in someone, to play around with their connection to themselves and reality so fundamentally, to further your own cause... yeah, I'm not surprised the fabric of the world keeps tearing apart in protest in response to that, there's something so unspeakably insidiously wrong about it. forget snacking down on apples and knowing yourself to be naked or whatever, that sounds like a perfectly blameless if presumably slightly chilly afternoon to me -- force-feeding someone else their own fragmentation for your own gain, however ostensibly worthy your final goal, feels much closer to what real sin would be to me. and even worse because *buries face in hands* he just keeps doing it!!! he should know better, but he keeps doing it!!!!!!
I know I keep joking that solas only has the like three basic moves he keeps rearranging to invent new and spectacular ways of doubling down on making the same mistake yet again, but looking at it like this it's almost not even funny anymore haha. (almost. there is a hysterical amusement and affection that rises within me every time I see his smug little face, we cannot choose who we love only what we do about it.) and the worst thing is that I think he could learn! I do believe he has the capacity, the depth of empathy and soul and intellect, to learn from this, had he chosen to do so, had he let himself pause and truly listen at any point. but at the end of the day, even all these thousands of years later and with the mountains of guilt he lugs around, he chooses not to. and I suspect it's because he fundamentally does not actually understand what he did wrong. on his way to, ostensibly, fix one of these splits he caused, that of the veil, he basically goes and does to rook's mind what he did to the titans, and without the hand of mythal guiding it or anyone else culpable in it with him this time, as if to underline twice that in all these thousands of years he has learned absolutely nothing! almost to an impressive degree! does he even recognize that it's the same thing he's doing? does he even actually afford rook and their internal world that much thought to begin with, aside from what purpose they can serve for him? I'm not so sure. and to do it all with varric's face, with the person he took from them, making them feel complicit in it when they find out, the same way the dwarves will have to grapple with the fact that their whole economy is based in unwittingly selling the blood of like. god. their parents. themselves. solas. babe. what the fUCK. what the fuck. what the fuck.
perhaps part of the blind spot comes down to the way it's the inverse of his own trauma. solas knows exactly what happened to him because it's the endless ache at the center of his existence, the thing -- the first mistake -- he can't escape or undo or forget, nor bring himself to accept: he became real, one coherent set self, with no way back to what and who he was. and what he does with that pain, his one move, is to make others not-real. to himself, and more alarming still to themselves. he makes them forget, as he cannot forget. does he think it's mercy, in some way? does he realize how and why that makes it all so much worse??? and... not quite the same thing, but when mythal dies the structure of his own inner world falls apart catastrophically, and in his vengeance for that, even unintentionally, he imposes that same unravelling on the world. we've all heard the lines about spirits mirroring the real world and what you bring into your relationship with them being what you get in return, but how about the tragedy of the inverse -- the world being brought to mirror you, despite what your intentions might have been going in. no one should have that power, but you claimed that power yourself to do something else and now you have to look into that mirror forever. no such mercy as forgetting yourself for you. you are everywhere now, this broken mirror of a world will reflect yourself back to you no matter where you look. perhaps it would feel easier to simply close your eyes and walk on willfully blindly. AGH it's all so delicious and fucked up and makes me feel absolutely nuts
dissociation is something that's also central in iron bull's character and internal conflict, so presumably this is simply a deep theme trick weekes keeps returning to/is interested in exploring in their writing! and the elegance with which it's done and how inextricably yet subtly embedded in the narrative it is both with bull and overall in veilguard means it's not always engaged with or recognized as I feel it deserves, but to me personally it is Everything and gets at it in ways that feel weirdly real and authentic.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age meta#solas#honestly the Layers of stuff going on between solas and dwarf rook specifically are unspeakable.#I kind of love him but I think dwarf rook should get to eat his heart raw in the market place before all the world#and as a warning to whatever god needs a reminder to mind their own fucking business next time#(is continuing the cycle of violence necessarily the answer here. of course not. but it does bring some catharsis of rage from time to time#long post#I am. exhausted and feel slightly feverish. I have no idea if this makes sense but it sure wanted to be written and be written RIGHT NOW#just my brain things :') I... should make dinner
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All Seeing, All Knowing, All Loving Part 14
Warning: Cringe texting
Summary: ^
Notes: I love you guys but I’m lazy for formatting don’t hate me (it’s better on ao3)
Word count: 1,204
ao3 link
Several things were becoming abundantly clear to you.
One, you wanted to fuck Ghost.
Two, Ghost knew this.
Three, he thought he had it in the bag. And that, you took issue with. You were going to fuck him, but you wanted him to work for it; you wanted him to be down on his knees begging.
How exactly you were going to achieve this, you hadn’t quite figured out yet. All you knew for sure was that your ego needed a little more flattering and that Ghost’s needed to be taken down a peg.
You had some vague plans, and one of them had come into motion the second you got a text on your phone from the man himself, when you’d woken up for the second time on Sunday, having already had one rude awakening.
‘Unknown Number: New number. Know you missed texting me. ;-)’
Thank God he hadn’t seen the desperation in your texts on his last phone. This was a chance for a clean slate.
‘You: How’s the photo capabilities on your new phone?’
‘Ghost: Dirty bird. I’ll upgrade.’
‘You: For pictures of Soap and Roach you pervert.’
‘Ghost: Sure love.’
God the man was smug. Although, the mere idea of pictures from you had him buying a whole new phone? He wasn’t shy about his desire for you. Not to mention, it hadn’t even been half a day since he’d left your home, and he’d already sent you a text from his new phone? He was definitely down bad. And you were going to take advantage of that. But, for now, you were going to play it cool.
‘You: Anywaysss! How did the medical go?’
‘Ghost: Fit as a butchers dog.’
‘You: ? Are butcher's dogs especially healthy?’
‘Ghost: Ours was. :-)’
That was new.
‘You: You were a butcher?’
‘Ghost: Was a butcher's apprentice before I joined the military.’
You wondered if that was around the time he’d taken the picture for his drivers licence. Simon Riley the butcher. Well, he could keep the moniker; you imagine he did just as much butchering.
‘Ghost: I can show you how to properly handle meat. ;-)’
Of course. However, there was something cute about the fact that he’d sent you another text after you hadn’t replied for a mere minute. Did he even know what double texting was? You doubted that; he didn’t even seem to know how to use emojis. It was fun to go back to a pre-emoji time, like a throwback to your early teen years.
‘You: Yeah, I bet you’re a master at handling meat. Twat.’
‘Ghost: Happy to show you. ;-)’
‘You: In your dreams.’
‘Ghost: Yes. :-)’
You needed to stop. Either he was masterful at drawing you into playful banter, or you were easy. Regardless, you actually had things to do today, so you couldn’t spend all day flirting with Ghost over text.
‘You: I’ve got to get ready to go out. Talk to you later.’
‘Ghost: Think of me. ;-)’
Incorrigible.
Now, it was time for the second part of your first plan. Today, you were meeting the girls in town for a little window shopping and coffee, which gave you a convenient excuse to get dressed up, and you thought you knew who would appreciate a picture of your outfit. You spent far longer than usual picking out your clothes, trying to find the perfect mix of slutty enough to tease him but not slutty enough that your friends would notice. It was a hard bargain.
You figured it out pretty quickly. You could wear a mini skirt if you just stuck a jumper and a big jacket over it. You put your hair up in a bun that took a deceptively long amount of time to look like you’d just thrown it up, with you having to repeat the whole process three times until you finally got something you liked.
By the time you’d got around to doing your makeup, you were already over it, still irritated by your hair's inability to behave, but you stuck with it, giving yourself winged eyeliner, and several coats of mascara. There was no way you were going to faff trying to do your lips, so you just stuck with basic lip balm to complete your look.
With everything finished, you went to the long mirror in your room, having to give it a thorough clean before you could actually take any pictures. Ghost was worth it, that was unquestionable, but it didn’t make it any less of a faff. You were already out of breath, and you hadn’t even really done anything. How were you supposed to get across a slutty vibe with plausible deniability? Upskirt shot was out of the question. For now. Instead, you went with a classic pose, standing in front of the mirror, hand on your waist, resisting the urge to hold it up in a peace sign, your lips slightly pouted. Of course, you took a good dozen photos so you had a good range to choose from, hemming and hawing over which one was best before you finally decided.
From start to the finish, the whole process had taken about three hours, and the entire end result was a simple text that belied none of your efforts.
‘You: what do you think of my outfit? :) (image)’
There was no instant reply from him this time. You frowned at your phone, but it didn’t summon a text from him, so you just stuck it in your handbag and pretended you didn’t care, as though that would make the time until his next message shorter. Never worked before, but never stopped you from trying regardless.
In the time it took for you to put your coat and shoes on, and give Soap and Roach enough fuss that you didn’t feel guilty leaving them behind, you actually did get a response. You liked that about Ghost. He didn’t fuck about with long waiting times. Well, except for the weeks prior, but that didn’t count; his phone was blown up.
‘Ghost: Let me take you out instead. Anywhere you want.’
The offer was tempting. But you weren’t about to ditch your girls for Ghost. Even if it did take every fibre of your strength not to.
‘You: N o. I’m not ditching my mates for you.’
‘Ghost: Tease.’
‘You: Am not! Was just showing my outfit!’
‘Ghost: You know what you do to me.’
Shit, you were going to be late if you kept letting him distract you. There was just something about texting him that made you feel like a smitten teenager again.
‘You: Going out now! Byeeee’
‘Ghost: See you tonight :-)’
‘You: ???’
‘Ghost: I’m giving you a lift home. Just let me know when you need me.’
Oh, you liked that. You hadn’t even kissed him yet, and he was already your personal chauffeur?
‘You: Fine, will let you know.’
‘Ghost: That’s my girl ;-)’
With that, you locked your phone and stuffed it in the deepest recesses of your bag, knowing that you’d succumb to the temptation of texting him all day otherwise, and set out to catch the bus into town, already running late.
#jack writes#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod#cod fanfic#cod mw2#ghost mw2#cod fic#simon ghost x reader
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You're forgetting that both Scott and Stiles, because he plays a very big role in the killing stigma too, especially for Malia, already think of her as a killer. When she finds the body the dread doctors killed first, they don't believe her. She tries saying it wasn't her, that there were people with masks, and the both of them just purse their lips and look away from her. Granted, it doesn't help that every other scene she's in, her first instinct is to kill, but it does reveal why she behaves in that manner. Every time she sees a credible threat that more than likely is going to attempt to kill her and the people she cares about, and when she offers a surefire solution to make sure they don't, Scott is there to refuse her. What does Scott do to make her think any differently? He let Peter and Gerard roam free and they both became repeat villains, with Gerard even being a key figure in teaching potentially hundreds of people how to effectively kill werewolves.
Also, Scott knew where the Desert Wolf was heading long before he saw Malia and Braeden together. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what Malia will do when faced with her, given her solution to everything is the same. And that can be a flaw of her character! She's maybe too disinterested in living as a human and being merciful to her enemies in the name of forgiveness! but this isn't a criticism of Malia, it's a criticism of Scott.
As for Jiang and Tierney, they actually say that rather than being hunted, they choose to hunt the hunters. Aka, kill or be killed. They used public databases to track down people suspected or known of killing werewolves. Is it only right to kill someone when they have a gun actively pointed towards your face? Satomi tried reasoning with the hunters and ended up dying for it. You also say yourself that the show calls out Scott because war time is different, so why even bring this up at all? Hunting isn't exactly a morally neutral profession, their sole purpose is to kill supernatural beings. They don't believe in second chances, and a lot of them don't even have a code, especially in 6B.
I wouldn't call the Orphans murder as being framed as bad. Garrett died for all of 2 seconds and then everyone moved on. There was no remorse or hemming or hawing about wanting to give a known assassin a second chance. He hurt Liam, blackmailed Scott, challenged a berserker, and got his shit rocked. Not an ounce of grief or remorse was shown in the show. Garrett was also not under arrest, he was actively trying to break his girlfriend out and evade punishment. When Scott finds Violet, he looks shocked, but not particularly torn up about it. The narrative also never brings it up again. It's played for shock value and nothing more. So no, their murders were not framed as bad, just shocking, like all melodramatic murders in teen wolf. There is a difference.
The Mute was shown to be a 'murder is bad' moment, but only because Peter was the one to kill him. His death was not an inherent tragedy, no one mourned the mute or thought of what could've been, it was just used to show that Peter wasn't with the new pack ideology. Again, no sanctity of life argument, barely a hint of due process, and no one in the narrative gave a fuck that he was dead. There needs to be a little more than just 'damn' when a villain dies for me to believe the show actually wants to make a point of sparing even the 'evilest' of people.
So far we have 2 murders that were just ignored consequentially by the narrative, and 2 you admit were justified out of season 4.
I already acknowledged that Gerard killing Matt was an unjustified murder, however it's only unjustified so far as it's Gerard dealing with him and gaining control of the Kanima. Again, not a sanctity of life and 'finding a better way' thing, just a tool to further the plot for Gerard being the series villain, like Peter and the mute.
You bringing up Jennifer just proves my point further. It's not Scott who needs to kill her ultimately, it's Deucalion. So like I said, to justify Scott's morals, the writers insert more morally reprehensible characters to do the killing instead, keeping Scott's hands clean.
Because that's what I said from the *start*. Scott is hypocritical. He insists on sparing people who are actively threatening people's lives, people he cares about, on the basis that it would make them 'as bad' as 'the bad guys'. When that doesn't work because the 'bad guys' really want you dead, he is not the one who ultimately needs to make the kill. It's shoved onto someone else.
Scott didn't need to say he approved of killing Theo because he literally just stood there while he was begging for help, and then the scene fades to black once he's gone. Like, okay. Guess that was fine. No need to discuss that with Kira. What was that about finding better ways? And then in 6A when he comes back, not even the consideration of another chance despite Theo begging for one and then proving himself over and over. It was only Liam vouching for him pretty aggressively that Scott even began to back off, still with the threat of killing him again if he slips up! Again, someone who's done objectively less evil than other teen wolf villains who were spared/who scott refused to kill.
That conversation was also Scott expressing 1. his pack was getting a lot more violent and 2. expressing guilt for continually refusing to be the final blow and pushing more insecurity onto the pack, as well as danger. You're right, and I don't disagree with you. He does think it should be him. It just never is, funnily enough. That's what I've been saying. And not one season later, he tries to shirk the responsibility of being the final blow again, by trying to get peter and deucalion to do it. What happened?
Some musings about Scott's morality (probably not very common and a little controversial)
Scott McCall’s adherence to his no-kill rule can be seen as both a moral stance and a psychological defense mechanism, shaped by his own fears, insecurities, and desire to preserve his innocence. At its core, Scott’s refusal to kill, even when faced with situations that may arguably call for it, reflects a deeper internal struggle to maintain a clear sense of right and wrong. However, this rigid adherence to his ideals, especially when it leads to others suffering, reveals underlying contradictions in his character.
Scott's moral code is largely centered on protecting his own sense of innocence and moral purity. By clinging to the no-kill rule, he avoids the emotional burden of directly taking a life, even if it means allowing harm to befall others. Psychologically, this allows Scott to protect his self-image as a "good" person. His reluctance to engage in lethal violence can be seen as a defense against the guilt and moral ambiguity that would come with making more ruthless choices.
In the case of the Kanima, Scott's refusal to kill Jackson despite the clear threat he posed to others shows how his need to maintain his moral boundaries outweighs the immediate threat to those around him. His insistence on finding non-lethal solutions, while noble, reflects an almost selfish prioritization of his internal morality over the safety of others.
There’s also an aspect of moral superiority in Scott’s unwavering no-kill stance. He often positions himself as the moral compass of the group, but this also gives him a sense of control over situations. By dictating that no one should kill, Scott maintains his leadership position and moral authority. However, this control is built on a framework that isn’t always flexible or responsive to the nuanced, dangerous situations he faces. His rigid moral stance can put others at risk, as seen when lives are endangered by the Kanima’s rampage while Scott focuses on preserving Jackson’s life.
Scott's no-kill rule can be seen as a form of psychological conflict avoidance. Killing someone would force him to confront the darker aspects of his role as a supernatural leader and protector. By adhering strictly to his rule, Scott avoids the internal conflict that would come from crossing that line. In a way, Scott’s reluctance to kill is an avoidance mechanism that keeps him from fully engaging with the morally complex world he inhabits, allowing him to maintain a black-and-white view of morality.
While Scott views his refusal to kill as a form of self-sacrifice, it can often lead to the sacrifice of others instead. In situations like the Kanima case, where innocent lives are at stake, Scott’s refusal to make the hard choice arguably protects his own conscience more than it protects the people he’s responsible for. This can be seen as an attempt to shield himself from the psychological toll of killing, while others bear the physical consequences of his inaction. It’s a form of indirect selfishness—by preserving his own sense of moral integrity, he unintentionally places the burden of suffering on others.
Scott’s no-kill rule is a complex and flawed psychological mechanism. While it is rooted in a genuine desire to be morally upright, it often causes harm by preventing him from making hard but necessary choices. His strict adherence to this rule can be seen as a defense against guilt, moral ambiguity, and the loss of his own innocence, but it also exposes him as someone who prioritizes his internal morality over the safety and well-being of those he is meant to protect. In this way, Scott's idealism becomes a form of moral tunnel vision, where the desire to remain "good" leads to greater harm for those around him.
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what do you do with everything that's happened? where do you put it? you don't have to answer, I don't want to ruin your day
I'd keep active. Constantly focusing on other things and completing tasks and pursuing goals kept me distracted. If you don't allow yourself time to sit back and process things, you don't have to face it.
Of course that only works up until you run out of things to do, then there isn't much of a choice but to try and process everything. Which is difficult, but healthier than bottling them up, or continuing to avoid them. The walls you can put up don't last forever. Things always slip through the cracks.
I've found the tackling one thing at a time helps if possible. It's easy to just start thinking about everything that's ever happened and all that does is make things worse. Therapy helps. Writing things down helps. Running from everything doesn't.
#This probably doesn't make much sense.#But it's better to give yourself time to process things.#Trust me. You don't want to be hit with fifty+ years of trauma all at once.#It's not fun.#At all.#And if it does hit you all at once?#Don't do what I do.#Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms.#Don't resort to drinks. Or drugs. Or hurting yourself. Or whatever the hell else helps at the time.#It's not worth it.#Ask#IC
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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Honestly never fails to amaze me how you never stop learning to love art, ESPECIALLY making it. Like these past few weeks have been rough not for any particular reason but just the drag of drawing with the same process with no challenge gets really really tedious. And then you switch up your process or play around with your tools and wow.....it's so refreshing....
#i feel like this applies to a lot of things but art especially for me at least.#getting comfortable with a specific process and then getting bored of it. vicious cycle.#i think taking a break from art and doing something completely different go hand in hand when it comes to growth tbh#especially when you run out of ideas. like genuinely sometimes the only thing you need to “get better” is not draw at all#giving yourself time to buffer. fully absorb and learn new things and letting your brain rest#idk what i was trying to say w this but drawing js cool as fuck brah
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I know it's gonna be a good day off when I wake up and my brain is already meditating on Beej developing complex and primal reclaiming rituals to deal with his jealousy
#i have a lot of things i can say about how often people let jealousy slide as a reasonable explanation for negative behavior#would happily give an hour-long powerpoint on how jealousy is not a personality trait but a response to a much deeper fear#and how much intentional work it takes to dive down to the bottom of that stagnant water and find what's clogged it up#but i also have an IMMENSE fondness for characters who LEARN that how they respond to their jealousy is a problem actually#and how when they're working on processing it they and their partners find ways to give it a fun outlet for everyone#which typically turns into really exciting and feral and passionate reclaiming kinks#because unlearning the fears that make you tight with jealousy takes a long damn time actually#and it's a lot better to have a sexy outlet as you work on it than drink or gamble yourself close to death#anyway i have other things to write but i always have ficlets about this in the back of my head smfh me can we be normal for once#my ramblings
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The same I do for literally any book or article or blog post. I start reading it and if I decide it's good enough to read I keep reading it.
Another AO3 thing I’m curious about, how do yall decide if something is good enough to read? Usually I follow a rule of 1 kudos for every 10 hits. One because it’s easy math and two it’s yet to fail me. Thoughts? Do you just go for it and pray it’s good?
#like I'm sorry but#the only person whose opinion matters is yours#and nobody knows your own taste better than you#and like#sometimes you'll wind up reading or watching things#that ultimately you find you're not fond of#and that's normal and part of life#and not actually a waste of your time#because you're still learning about yourself and your preferences in the process#obsessing over only spending your time on things that pass an arbitrary bar of 'worthy' before you even give them a shot#is the most miserable and worthless way to live
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Miss ma’am, hi hello how are you?
I am presenting myself here, very very humbly to ask if we could please get another part of your Nerd Nanami fic?🥹🥹 please please puhleaseeeeeeeee
That was an actual masterpiece, I had to read it very slowly and savour it, making sure to process every single sentence of that fic. You’re so talented it makes me cry
Please offer us more Nanami, pleaseeeeeee
Giving the nerd a chance… part two
Tags: nerd!Nanami x fem!Reader, college au, smut with plot, nsfw, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, size kink, breeding kink, dom!nanami, sub!reader, marathon sex, exhibitionism if you squint real hard, mdni
Synopsis: Your nerdy boyfriend is so prim and proper in real life, but he has big dick energy over text.
An: 4K Follower Special! I got over 20 requests for a part two of this fic. At this time, it is my best performing fic on tumblr, and I fear… I may have peaked with it. I never EVER intended on writing a second part because I was sure that I couldn’t ever follow that fic up with something as good, but this sweet anon request warmed my heart so much that I decided to give the people what they’re asking for. This one’s going to be a long one… pace yourself because there will NOT be a third part… right?
Nanami’s a stoic lover. He doesn’t keep you hidden, but he doesn’t outwardly drag attention towards your relationship. Too much attention meant drama, and Nanami hates drama.
Nanami asked you to be his girlfriend a few weeks after the first time you two slept together. Of course, everyone in his friend group saw it coming long before you two had even hooked up.
They saw the longing gazes between you two when you pined for each other. They saw the cheeky glances once you two finally started texting. They noticed how their dear friend smiled more — was more laid back and relaxed.
Everyone welcomed you into their small found family with open arms. They simply couldn’t have picked anyone better to balance out Nanami’s far too strict nature.
Things with Nanami were absolutely a dream. You two had great chemistry emotionally and physically. Of course, he just made things so easy for you.
While he is a stoic lover, you never ever feel unloved by him. He’s always there to reassure you with words of affirmation or small touches that just remind you that he’s there.
Like when you two are at one of Satoru’s “exclusive” gatherings, if you’re not in Nanami’s lap, then he’s got his hand on you somewhere. Sometimes he gets so bored during those little get togethers that he spends his time leisurely pressing kisses into your cheek and neck. He never quite understood Satoru’s and Suguru’s affinity with public displays of affection until he met you.
Or there's those times when you need a little extra help with your studies. Kento is right behind you, with you on his lap, his cock is snuggly being squeezed by your warm leaking cunt. He presses small chaste kisses against your temple and ear while you try your hardest to focus on the homework.
"Do you remember this one, sweetheart? We went over it in class yesterday... Aw, don't go all stupid on me now."
When you get an answer right, he'll reward you with small, shallow thrusts, but you have to finish the whole assignment to get him to really fuck you.
Or if you two are walking together in the halls, Nanami holds his arm out for you, letting you latch onto him so he can guide you two through the crowd of people. He knows how you are in crowded areas, so he's keen on not letting anyone get too close to you.
Nanami’s a true gentleman too. His parents made sure they raised nothing less than a perfect man. You’ve never had to touch a door handle, any of your own money, or bags when you two go shopping. Nanami handles all of that for you. He doesn’t let you walk on the outside when you two are on the sidewalk. He’s respectful of you and your time, and he always listens to everything you have to say with his full attention because you deserve nothing less.
Nanami’s parents truly did their best work with him, and speaking of his parents, Nanami’s the type that wants to take you back home to meet them.
It was nearly fall break as you were sitting in your experimental research class — your final class before you’re free from the hell hole of academics for a full week.
You glance down at your phone as it buzzes in your lap. You and Nanami had been planning a trip out to his family’s home in Hakone for a little bit now, and the closer that time gets to you two leaving, the more stressed out Nanami feels.
Nanami: We’ll probably leave out early tomorrow morning and catch the first train. Will you be okay with that?
Yn: Mhm. That sounds fine, Ken.
Nanami: After class, I need to inform you a little bit more about my parents… I just don’t want you to feel shocked or surprised when you meet them.
Yn: I’m not sure why I’d be shocked or surprised, but I’m excited to hear more.
Nanami: Don’t get too excited.
You stare at his message for a bit, pondering what he could’ve meant by that. He hadn’t ever spoke poorly of his parents, but he didn’t necessarily praise them either. Actually… he never spoke of them.
*** *** ***
For the rest of the class, you wondered just what you were getting yourself into by going and meeting them. Maybe you two were moving too fast or..
“Sweetheart.” His steady voice broke your trance. He’s crouched down next to your desk to be eye-level with you, and the palms of his hand is gently caressing your cheek. “There you are. Spaced out on me.”
The entire classroom is empty. Class must’ve ended a minute ago because not even the professor is in the room now. You must’ve been deep in your own head.
You let force out an awkward laugh before nuzzling your cheek further into his palm, seeking out his affections as comfort from the insecure thoughts that somehow always manage to find a way in.
“I was just.. thinkin’ about your parents is all..” You finally give him some sort of explanation, and Nanami softens a bit.
“It’s just a weekend, my love. Then, I’ll make it up to you.” His words are a promise. You know for a fact Nanami doesn’t say things that he doesn’t mean.
“I think that was the part where you were supposed to reassure me that they’ll like me-“
Nanami pulls you forward and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll still love you regardless.”
Gods, his words are so sweet, but they cut deep like daggers.
“They’re… not going to like me..?” You mumble in a tone that makes Nanami’s heart sink. He takes your hands into his as he gets on his knee to better talk to you while you’re seated.
“My parents are… very traditional.” He carefully explains, and his hazel eyes search yours for a reaction before he reluctantly continues. “They want me to marry a girl from a specific family-“
“An arranged marriage!?” You blurt out — unable to control your emotions as it feels like your heart is trying to force its way up your throat.
“Something like that - but not exactly. It’s not arranged, but it’s definitely heavily pushed.” He tries to keep his tone steady, but seeing you so upset like this has him feeling raw with emotion as well.
“So, no, they will not be happy to know that I’m going against their wishes, but they’ll come around eventually.” His eyes focus on yours, and he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“… and if they don’t?” A small sniffle escapes you before you can stop it. The thought of Nanami being with anyone else has your head spinning. There’s another girl out there who might be expecting for him to take her hand in marriage.
“Hey... look at me.” He coaxes softly as his hand guides your face to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I’m doing this as a courtesy for them — not because I need their approval.”
Chills shoot up your spine from his words. Nanami rarely cusses, but when he does, it’s enough to even make Satoru blush when he hears it.
Your worry instantly flees your body when Nanami’s lips press against yours to seal the deal. This was just a visit to his parents. Nothing more. Nothing less.
“I’m still gonna love you…” He mumbles his words against your lips before seeking out more of your honeyed kisses. “…still gonna marry you one day…” His deep voice groans a little as he gently suckles on your bottom lip. “…still gonna fuck you senseless every night.”
“Ken..” A breathy whine; a whimper; a plea.
“Because you need it every night, don’t you?” His lips are still chasing yours with an insatiable hunger. It just wasn’t enough. If the next class wasn’t coming in the next 10 minutes, he’d take you right here on your desk, but he doesn’t fancy the idea of anyone else’s eyes accidentally falling upon your ethereal body.
“Mhm… need it.” You murmur against his lips quietly in agreement.
Nanami suddenly pulls away, and he reaches out, wrapping his hand around your wrist. “Come on before I fuck you right here.” He threatens and picks your bag up off the floor for you.
*** *** ***
A gasp flees you as Nanami pushes your back against his bed. His lips are immediately assaulting your neck: suckling soft red marks into your skin and nipping at you gently.
He loves to see the aftermath of his love on you, but he has to be careful this time. Can’t have you going to meet his parents with hickeys all over your neck, can you?
“Mmm~ What about Haibara?” You ask now before you find yourself too hypnotized by his affections.
“He has a class right now.” Nanami answers before his hand trails up your thighs towards your already damp panties. He has had this on his mind all day since he saw you in that cute little skirt you’re wearing.
“Already so wet.” He groans into your neck before biting at your shoulder. The pads of his fingers tease your sensitive clit through the cloth of your cotton panties. “Fuck. You’re so good to me.”
Nanami drops to his knees on the edge of the bed, and his strong arms pull you by your legs to where you’re situated at the edge for him to eat you out to his heart’s desire.
He doesn’t even remove your panties before he leans in and presses a sloppy kiss to your cunt. He can already taste you through the fabric, and he needs more.
His fingers hook in the waistband of your panties, and he tugs them down your legs, carefully placing them on his bedside table. If he can swing it, he’ll definitely hide them from you and claim that you lose them — just so he can keep them for when you’re not around.
He’s not a pervert!! Well… he loves jerking off into his girlfriend’s panties when he’s too needy at night… Feeling the wet fabric that was pressed so unceremoniously against your heavenly cunt is more than enough to get him off quickly. It would be ungentlemanly to wake you up at your dorm for such a scandalous adventure. At least he washes and returns them to you promptly after using them a couple of times.
As soon as your panties are safely discarded, Nanami has his face right back between your legs. He uses his hands to prop your legs up on his shoulder, and he just.. absolutely begins to devour you.
“Ngh.. oh fuck— wait Ken.. I wan..” You can barely get your words out right while his tongue is lapping at your slippery folds.
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to interrupt someone during a meal?” His hazel eyes look up at you with such a serious look — you feel like you’re being scolded.
Your face flushes a bright red before you relax back into his bed — accepting your fate. Kento smiles to himself, knowing that it doesn’t take much to pacify you. You’re too much of a good girl for him.
“Mmm~ that’s right. Just lay back and take what I give you, pretty girl.” He hums in satisfaction as his tongue connects with your cunt once more.
He licks up all the sticky wetness that you so graciously leak for him. He’s so messy with it, practically french kissing with your cunt. Your juices are smeared across his chin from him hopelessly lapping at you. His tongue writes love letters to you against your clit, making your body shiver with pleasure and excitement.
One of your hands is clasping at the sheets, and the other hand is entangled in Kento’s blonde hair, giving him small tugs as he gives you the best head of your life.
Your thighs unconsciously press together, trying to run from the weird sensations that his mouth gives to you. Your boyfriend grunts in dissatisfaction — not enjoying the sudden disobedience from you.
His hand press against each of your knees, and he forces your legs back open — spreading you wiiiide open for him.
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” He asks while looking up at you through his lashes.
“Please — please~” You whine. Your hips involuntarily buck up, trying to get any sort of friction.
“Then be good, and sit still.” Nanami orders, and his hand ever so carefully swats at your sensitive cunt — sending shockwaves of electrifying pleasure through your nerve endings.
“‘m sorry.. ‘m sorry.. please.” You’re so whiny and desperate to be stretching by him. It’s honestly so pathetic that he pities you.
“My poor sweet girl.” He chuckles lowly before pressing a more gentle kiss against your clit. His tongue carefully dips into your wet heat. “Tastes too sweet for your own good. How am I supposed to stop enjoying you, huh?”
A glob of spit rolls down your cunt from Nanami’s mouth, and he uses his own two fingers to spread it around, softly toying with your glistening pussy. A smirk curls on his lips as he watches the way your entrance flutters — so enticed by the potential of being filled by him.
You quietly stifle a squeal as he stuffs you with two of his thick fingers. “So reactive, baby.” He murmurs as his tongue darts back out to gently lap and flick at your clit.
“Ken.. fuck, fuck-! Mmmph..” Your hips start to roll against his fingers, trying to force them inside you. Your boyfriend obliges your silent request, and he pushes his fingers in deeper, curling upwards to that spot he knows will make you cry out his name…
“Nanami-!” There it is. His fingers begin to roughly pump in and out, abusing your sensitive g-spot over and over again.
“Better be a good girl and tell me you love me.” He mutters lowly into your cunt. He knows he doesn’t have to tell you anymore — you’re already conditioned to tell him you love him when you cum. Even if he’s not the one making you finish, you’ll text him a quick “I love you” as you clench around your own fingers to the thought of him.
Your hips roll harder, and your moans are way more throaty — interrupted by small gasps for air. He can tell that you’re getting close. His mouth gently begins to suckle on the small bundle of nerves, and he focuses his tongue on swirling circles around your clit.
It’s all so much. It feels like Nanami is literally playing you like an instrument. He knows exactly what to do to make you a whiny trembling mess.
His fat fingers are pummeling into you, slamming into your sweet spot — making overstimulated tears well up in your eyes. “Sh-shit.. gonna cum.. Nanami… ah~ more..” You’re babbling utter nonsense while trying to find your orgasm.
Your stomach starts to clench, and it almost feels uncomfortable. Your breath stutters as Nanami murmurs into your pussy. “Let go for me, darling. Let it alllll out.” He encourages you as if his fingers and tongue aren’t absolutely tag teaming you.
“Ah~ Mmph… I.. fuck- I love you-!” You moan as you finally feel your orgasm suddenly break. Your tight walls clench around Nanami’s fingers, and fluids from your arousal gush out, making a big mess on his face and clothes.
Nanami quietly chuckles as he comes to realization that you just squirted on him. “Oh? That’s how you feel, huh?” He mocks playfully before pressing one last french kiss against your cunt. “I love you more darling.”
For a moment, you don’t know if it’s more directed towards you or your pussy.
*** *** ***
The early morning train ride was spent with your head cozied into Nanami’s shoulder as he had a protective arm around you. The scenery outside was beautiful. Hakone is known for their breathtaking sights of Mount Fiji. Too bad your eyelids were so heavy from getting up so early.
Nanami takes the silence as a time to reflect. He truly can’t remember a time when he was nervous like this. It was as if that emotion left him when he was a teenage boy. His family’s harsh regime for raising him left no room for shy or nervous behavior. Men were strong, confident, sophisticated. They exuded chivalry in everything they do.
Honestly, he’s glad that he was raised the way he was. Every time he bears witness to Gojo’s crude behavior, he can only think of how happy he is to have had a strict childhood.
But right now, he wishes he wasn’t so nervous. His heart is pounding in his chest, and he’s silently praying that you can’t hear it. Even though he didn’t care what his parents thought of you, he didn’t fancy the idea of seeing you torn down by his parents. Hopefully, they’ll have enough class to take up the issues with him — not you.
*** *** ***
Nanami’s parent’s house had a very traditional vibe to it, and it was easily twice as big as the house you grew up in. It was beautifully decorated, and the lawn was obviously meticulously cared for. It makes sense that Nanami grew up here.
“Just one weekend. Then, we’ll be back to normal.” Nanami murmurs softly into your ear. Though, he doesn’t know if he’s reassuring you or himself at this point. He takes a deep breath before knocking on the door with a heavy fist.
“Oh, Kennn.” His mother immediately ran up to Nanami and gave him a big hug after answering the door, which he returned back to her.
“It’s good to see you, mom.” He responds heartily before he holds out his hand to his dad.
“Look at you. Our son has grown up on us.” His dad gives a sweet smile while gently nudging his mom with his elbow.
“Don’t remind me!” His mom practically wails with her arms still wrapped around Nanami, and you’re awkwardly on standby.
Nanami finally puts his hands on his mom’s shoulders, and he forces her to take a step back. “It hasn’t even been that long since you two saw me, and besides, I brought someone for you two to meet.”
His arm carefully wraps back around your waist, and he looks at his parents before collecting himself briefly. “This is my girlfriend, Yn. Yn, these are my parents.”
His mom’s smile falters almost unnoticeably, but you immediately pick up on her dissatisfaction. His dad seems to just he surprised.
“Ah, yes, welcome to our home, yn.” His dad finally says with an earnest smile, and he subtly nudges his wife. It’s definitely a silent reminder for her to stop looking at you like you’re an intruder.
“Your home is lovely, Mr. and Mrs. Nanami. It’s nice to meet you two.” You try your best to not sound nervous at all, but his mom’s face just makes your stomach turn.
His parents guide you through their home, but they mostly focus their attention on Nanami: asking him about his studies, asking how Gojo’s doing, and asking if he’s contacted some girl named… Allegra. You couldn’t help but wonder if that was the girl who they wanted him to marry instead.
They didn’t ask you very many questions. His dad was friendly, but it seemed like he was tip toeing around all the awkward tension. His mom was just flat out ignoring your presence — clearly in denial about her son having a girlfriend who wasn’t this mysterious Allegra girl.
When it came time for dinner, his dad finally broke the awkward tension and asked about you.
“So yn, you go to the same college as Kento?” His dad seems to be genuinely sweet — just more on the passive shy side.
“Yeah, Ken and I actually share quite a few classes together.” You smile as your utensil grazes along the food they prepared. It smells delicious, but your nerves will barely allow you to nibble on it.
“What are you studying?”
“Oh, I’m in general studies for now. I’m still deciding on what to major in.” You reply as you finally feel yourself beginning to relax in your chair.
“Did you tell your friend that Allegra is studying to become a doctor? Wouldn’t that be nice to have in the family?” His mom finally speaks up, only addressing Nanami and not you.
Your stomach sinks as you realize why Nanami was so apologetic and reassuring this entire time. He knew his mom was just going to take subtle digs at you the entire time.
“One, she’s my girlfriend — not friend. Two, no, I have no reason to speak about Allegra with my girlfriend.” Nanami responds, and he gives his mom a subtle look. It appears they have a brief challenging moment before his mom looks away and relents.
Nanami’s foot gently nudges yours underneath the table, and you try to give him a small smile in response. It’s just hard when clearly you’re not wanted in this household.
The dinner goes silent for a moment, and the dining area fills with the sounds of chopsticks gently touching against plates. You subtly check your phone for an escape.
Nanami: Don’t pay her any mind, okay?
Nanami: I promise I’ll make up for this tonight. I’ll kiss you for every rude thing she says.
Yn: and for every time she says Allegra?
Nanami: I’ll fuck you until you can’t remember her name… make you so dumb until you can only remember my name. That’s all you need to know anyways.
Yeah, that’ll do it. The negative emotions are gone — replaced by a feral need for his cock. You take a subtle breath before putting your phone away, not wanting anyone to accidentally see him dirty talking you right in front of his parents.
“Ah, do you think you can help me out with the car tomorrow, Kento? Your old man is getting too old and worn out to crawl underneath there.” His dad finally breaks the silence once more.
“Of course, dad. What are you needing done on it? I’ll probably wake up early and get it done before day breaks.” Your boyfriend is such a good son. It’s no wonder that his mom is stupid protective over him.
“I just need to breaks changed on it. It’s probably due for an oil change too.” His dad explains, and Nanami assures him that he’ll get it done.
“I didn’t know you knew much about cars.” You take the chance of speaking up, and Nanami’s hazel eyes meet yours. His face instantly softens, and his mouth opens to speak. Too bad his mom beats him too it.
“Of course, he does. He needs to know all sorts of things like that in case his future wife needs her car repaired.” His mom says with a hint of hostility in her tone. “Speaking of which, Allegra just bought a new car a few months ago.”
You sit in silence for a moment, and you feel your stomach twisting in discomfort. You don’t know why you care so much for this woman’s opinion of you. Nanami already warned you that they likely wouldn’t approve of you, but you didn’t know you signed up to practically be bullied all weekend.
“I know a few basic things about cars. Nothing major.” Nanami responds to you — ignoring his mother’s comments. “I can show you too if you’re interested.”
A small smile curls on your lips, and you swallow back your emotions— trying to stay strong for him. “That’d be nice.”
“You definitely have a….”
“Mom.” Nanami immediately warns, staring down his mother before she can even finish her sentence.
“What? I wasn’t going to say anything mean.” She’s immediately on the defensive, casually laughing as if she’s been nothing but friendly this entire time. “I was just going to say that your friend certainly has a bold personality… wearing red to meet someone’s parents is definitely… a choice.”
Your eyes look down at the nice blouse you’re wearing, and you swallow harshly. Nanami was actually the one to pick it out for you. He reassured you this morning that you looked gorgeous — unknowingly signing you up to be bullied.
Your face is burning hot with embarrassment, and you wish you could just fold in on yourself and die right on the spot.
“Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” Nanami frowns, and he puts his chopsticks down on his plate. “I’m serious. Being a bully at your age is unbecoming to you as a mother.”
“Kento.” His dad warns, but Nanami doesn’t relent for a second.
“No. I’m not going to sit here and allow her to continue disrespecting my girlfriend like that.” Your boyfriend retorts, and he switches back to glaring at his mother. “I’m not dating Allegra — nor do I want to. I’m doing you a favor by introducing you to yn. I figured you’d like to know your future daughter in law.” He gestures to you,
The color leaves his mom’s face as she stares back at her son — as if him implying that he is going to marry you is the worst news she’s ever heard. Her eyes cut over towards you in a vicious glare. “How long have you even known my son?”
Your heart is beating straight through your chest. Confrontation isn’t your strong suit, and to be honest, his mother was terrifying even though she’s literally shorter than you are.
“W-well, we met in college so…” You inwardly curse for stumbling over your words, and Nanami frowns as he looks at you. He hates that his parents are making you so unsure of yourself and your role in his life. He wants to take all your insecurities away and make you forget this ever even happened.
“It’s not even been that long! You don’t even have history with this girl. Allegra was your first kiss.. your first everything!” His mother raises her voice at Nanami, making exasperating hand motions.
His first everything? He told you that you were his first.
Tears prick into your eyes before you can even think to stop him. Overwhelmed by shame and just utter defeat, you don’t even know what to do other than to hide and cry.
Nanami’s eyes widen as he sees you clearly trying to cover up the tears streaming down your cheeks. His jaw tightens as he returns his gaze to his mother.
“That’s funny. I don’t recall you ever being present for any of those things.” His mom starts to speak up, but he is quick to shut her back down. “I kissed Allegra because you were breathing down my neck to. I was barely 15 at that time, and it happened once. That was the first and only time I ever even touched her.”
His mom starts to try to speak up again to probably bring up some other point about why he should be with Allegra. Nanami interrupts her again.
“Allegra and I do not like each other. We hardly tolerated each other for yours and her parents’ sake. You have to get over it. I’m with yn, and I’m happy — happier than I’ve ever been. She was my first everything. My first real kiss, my first girlfriend, and since you seem to want to stick your nose so far in my business, she was my first in bed too.”
“Kento, you’re being incredibly disrespectful.” Her voice is much more strict now as she scolds her grown son.
“I wonder where I get it from. It seems as though we both have a propensity for being rude.” He retorts, and while he’s arguing, his hand slides over to your inner thigh under the table, and he gropes it harshly.
He’s so pissed. He doesn’t even know how to get rid of this anger. His hand squeezes your thigh tightly, making your face go bright red as you look away from everyone.
“I’m not accepting her into this family. You can forget that. She’s changed you.” His mother’s words are growing harsher, and his dad is trying to quietly calm her. She doesn’t pay him any mind though.
“Fine. We’ll just go make our own family.” Nanami scoots his chair back, and he stands up. His hand roughly pulls you up as well — not giving you a chance to even think about what he just said. He bends down and effortlessly throw you over his shoulder, making you gape in surprise. His arm securing you by wrapping around the back of your thighs. “And by the way, I chose the red blouse. It matches the cute bra she’s wearing that I also chose for her.”
His parents stare at him — both completely dumbfounded by what just happened. They didn’t raise him to be like that, but what were they going to do?? Stop him? That’s a laughable thought. You’re not even sure God himself could pull Ken off of you when he’s feral like this.
His footsteps are heavy as he stomps up the stairs towards his teenage bedroom. Nothing has changed since he was last in here. It’s still completely sterile from how he was made to clean it each day. The walls are littered with posters of various science related things, and he has some posters of older video games he use to enjoy.
Your body is practically flung onto the bed, and Nanami doesn’t waste a single second. His heart is pounding in his chest. His mind is fogged with pure anger. He hasn’t felt like this in so long. It reminds him of why he took up going to the gym.
With no punching bag in sight, you’re his only outlet.
His body is unwavering on top of yours — a force to be reckoned with, and his mouth immediately connects with yours in a suffocating kiss. Quiet hums and moans fill the air between you two, and he quite literally steals the breath from your lungs. His fingers wrap around your wrists easily, pinning them above your head on the bed.
No longer satiated from robbing you of your breath, Nanami trails his kisses down to your neck. To hell with not marking you — he needs to see his brand on your neck. You’re his, aren’t you? Who cares if his parents see?
“Ah~” You let out a breathy whimper as he angrily sucks and bites on your neck. Your skin is sensitive - already turning bright shades of blue and purple from his mouth. His dental imprint litters your neck and shoulders.
“K-Ken.. what about..?” You start to ask about his parents. They’re going to hear you two. Wouldn’t that just make things worse?
“Don’t care.” He responds so brashly. If he thinks about his parent’s behavior any longer, he’s going to need to fuck you into next week to get all his anger out.
Riiiip!
Your eyes widen as you look up at your boyfriend’s hulking figure. The blouse that you were just criticized for was now more like a coat, split down the middle, revealing your perfect breasts, so prettily on display in your red lacy bra.
His mouth waters as he looks you up and down. You have almost this panicked look in your eye, provoked by his unpredictability, and for whatever reason, it’s driving him insane.
His mouth is back on you like it never left: kissing and biting on your mounds, painting them so beautifully with his mark. “You’re mine.” He grunts lowly. His jealousy almost makes it sound like his parents were insinuating that you should marry someone else.
“Say it.” He demands before his teeth graze over your collarbone. His warm breath fans over your skin, making you shiver.
“Yours.” You comply with such a small whimper, and your body jolts when you feel his raging bulge rub against you.
“See what you do to me?” He rumbles lowly as he looks down to where he’s now shamelessly dry humping you through clothes like he’s a horny teenager.
“Fuck… Ken..” You whisper as you’re also mesmerized by the sight. His slacks are completely taught, outlining the shape of his cock so well. You can almost see the veins that protrude on him.
His hips rolls slowly against yours, savoring the way the fabric rubs against him and you. His dick is painfully throbbing — begging for the reprieve of being squeezed by your gummy walls.
“Are you as much of a mess as I am, baby?” He asks as his hand dips into your pants. His eyebrows furrow, and he lets out a low groan as his fingers are instantly coated in your slick. He slips his hand back out of your pants just to slide his fingers into his mouth. He holds eye contact with you as he hums in satisfaction. He'll never get enough of your taste.
“You want this, don’t you? Want me to fuck you where my parents can hear you?” He slides his hand back down into your pants, and his fingers rub tight, firm circles against your clit, making your body squirm from pleasure.
“Nngh~ ah!” You’re already so noisy, and he hasn’t even began fucking you yet.
“Give ‘em a show, baby. Let them hear how good I make you feel.”
“Mmm~ Ken…” You moan as your back arches up off the bed. His fingers press down harder on your swollen clit.
“You can do better than that, darling.” He can be so condescending in bed, using that insatiable need for praise against you.
“Ken!” You shout, all logical thought has abandoned you. He tells you to do better? You do better.
“Good girl.” He purrs before sliding his hand out of your pants. He can’t get your clothes off of you quick enough. His cock is beckoning for attention, still neglected from yesterday of just eating you out.
Your hands shakily try to unbutton his shirt, and he chuckles lowly at your pitiful efforts. “Aw, my poor girl. Already so shaken up. Go on. You can do it.”
You huff at his taunting. Usually, he’d just see you struggling and take off his clothes for you, but today he was thriving off watching you so desperately trying to get his clothes off him.
It takes you a minute to get his clothes off him, and you don’t even properly take off his pants. You merely shoved them down along with his boxers just low enough for his monstrous cock to spring out. Nanami merely watches you with a cocky smirk.
“Yeah? This is what you wanted?” He purrs lowly, and he carefully drags his tip up and down your core, smearing his precum along your lips as if his tip was giving you a sloppy kiss.
“Gonna take all of it, aren’t you?” His other hand releases your wrists, and he lovingly cups your cheek. His hand is so big compared to your face. He loves watching you nuzzle up into his palm.
You nod your head quickly in response, lifting your hips up to meet his with each slow movement. Wet slippery noises from your cunt weeping for him fill the room.
“Use your words.” He demands before he speaks up louder — just to spite his parents who are right below you two. “I said. You’re going to take this dick like a good girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes!” You whine before your body is completely shell shocked from a quick slap to your cunt. His cock is so heavy — you can feel the weight of it as his rudely smacks it against you again.
“Louder.”
“Yes sir-!” You immediately oblige, following his commands without a second thought in your brain.
His lips curl into a lopsided grin, and he carefully guides his sweltering tip towards your entrance, plugging your hole with just his head.
“Keep being a good girl like that, and I might have to give you baby. Do you want that?” He asks while carefully stretching you by fucking his tip in and out of your tight hole. “You wanna have my baby, don’t you?”
“Ffffuck- Ken! T-too much..” You squirm your body against his bedsheets, and he chuckles at your poor attempt at getting away.
“You clearly want this, so why are you running?” He hands latch onto your thighs, and he pulls you back down towards him, inadvertently impaling you even further on his cock.
A smug chuckles bubbles up in his throat as he sees how much of a mindless mess you are. He loves how he can make you all dumb so quickly with his dick. It brings him great joy to know that you trust him and can just let go, letting the more primal urges take over.
“Mmm~ so tight and wet for me, aren’t you darling? Need to just let Ken take care of you, yeah?” His voice is like velvet as he slowly thrusts himself in and out, sinking deeper into you with each movement, splitting you wide open.
“Ah~! nnnnn… so good.” You manage to whine out.
“What a crybaby. I know you can take me better than that, darling.” Nanami gives you a soft kiss on the forehead before his large hand wraps around your neck, applying pressure in just the right spots to make you all lightheaded.
"Come on. Show me how good you can take it~" His hips snap forward suddenly, sinking his full length deep inside you. Your eyes roll back into your head as he takes full control over you.
His hips are pounding forward, bumping his tip right against your cervix with every mean thrust. His balls are heavy and slapping against the flesh of your ass — a reminder for how pent up he's been recently.
Maybe it's the lack of an orgasm for the last couple of days or maybe it's his parents being utter assholes to you, but Kento finds himself feeling frustrated all over again. Low grunts and growls escape him, and he uses his grip on your neck to push himself in even further -- harder.
The sound of skin clapping against skin fills the room, and his childhood beds starts to squeak out with each forceful blow. He knows for a fact that his parents can hear every single noise. The thin walls of this house absolutely hide nothing. He may as well have fucked you right there against the kitchen table to really prove a point.
"Fuck-! Kenkenkenken! Ah~" You can't even form sentences much less words other than his name. Before you can even warn him, your walls begin to pulse around him - practically milking him while your orgasm takes you over. "Nnngh~ I-I love you.."
"Mmnn~ I didn't tell you that you could do that, sweetheart." He hazel eyes bore into your very soul as his grin shifts to a more wild one. His hips move with even more vigor as if he's trying to push himself straight into your womb,
His hand lets go of your throat, finally allowing you to get a deep breath of air while trying to cope with his massive size pumping in and out of you as if you're nothing but a senseless fuck toy, but you clearly fucking love it. You're practically dripping all over him, soaking his bedsheets in your arousal.
At this point, his parents aren't sure if he's killing you or fucking you. Either way, they're too afraid to intervene. They didn't raise a gentleman at all. They raised a monster.
"Mmph... Need to give you a baby. Can I? You'd make such a pretty mama. School be damned. I need you." Normally, Nanami is pretty controlled over his pillow talk. He's really good at it, but right now, he's completely lost in you -- just babbling promises of giving you a baby and marrying you.
"Y-yes, Ken! Fuck... give me a baby, please." Your legs are trembling around his waist, and your fingernails are giving him such pretty decorations along his back. Small trophies for fucking you just right.
"Fuuuck- Take it. T... take it all..." His voice is a gravely groan as his cock twitches inside you, spilling all of his seed directly into your tummy. It's so fucking much from holding back for a couple of days - completely filling you up. "I love you so much. Gonna marry you one day."
The house is eerily silent for a moment as both you and Nanami catch your breaths. He stays planted on top of you, keeping your legs hooked around his waist. Small creaks of footsteps against a floorboard fill the air, and you tense up, thinking his parents were going to come in there and raise all sorts of problems.
Nanami gently strokes your face with the back of his hand. "Shhh, they're not coming in here. Promise." He whispers lowly, pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. You slowly relax in his arms, trusting his words that his parents weren't going to come in there.
You can hear a door open and shut, and it sounds like bickering back and forth between his parents.
"See? They're just going to bed." He presses another reassuring kiss to your cheek.
His hips continue to lazily pump in and out of you, basically fucking his cum back into you as it seeps out. His cock is hyper sensitive, but he can't get enough. You're completely drenched for him. You deserve more of his loving.
"Keennn~" You whine quietly, shifting in the bed slightly as your legs are all achy and sore from him taking out all of his anger on you.
"What is it, baby?" He asks in a hushed whisper against your ear. His breath tickles your skin, making you slightly squirm in response. "I'm just making sure it takes, yeah?" His cock sinks further into you, already growing hard all over again even though he just finished.
"Mmmph~" You hum as your eyes slipped closed. Nanami smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead, knowing that you're already needy all over again for him.
"Answer me, darling. Want me to stop?" He asks while peppering kisses all over your face. If the last round was about degradation and taking his anger out, then this one was about how much he loves you and can't get enough of you.
"Nonono... don't stop, please." You murmur out quickly, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.
"That's my good girl... Always needin' more, aren't you?" He hums lowly, and his cock pumps in and out so slowly, delicately smushing against your cervix with each loving thrust.
"Mmn.. I love you." You slur out, completely cock drunk at this point. Kento just smiles and continues to dote on your with messy kisses against your cheeks and neck. His hand is gently massaging your breast, just barely teasing your nipple while he makes love to you.
"And I love you, darling." He responds before he feels you squeezing around him already. "Oh pretty, again?" He asks as his eyes look down to your fluids gushing around his length. "Such a mess. How are we meant to sleep on these sheets now?"
"'m sorry... I c-couldn't help it. 'm so sorry." You whimper as your face dips into his shoulder, hiding you obvious embarrassment.
Kento's arms wrap around your waist, and he uses his hold on you to drag you up and down along his length — still moving at such a torturously slow pace, making you feel every inch as it enters you.
"Aw, that's alright, darling. I'll clean us up. Just take a little bit more for me, yeah?" He whispers into your ear while your pelvis is slotting against his. He's damn near holding you up into his arms. Lucky you for having such a strong boyfriend.
His lips find yours for a messy kiss. His tongue slips past your lips, claiming your mouth as his completely. A few seconds later, his cock is pumping you full again with his cum — still so much on the second round.
Without even missing a beat, Nanami's mumbling breathily in your ear. "Mmm, I know I said I'd clean us up, but you wouldn't hate a third round, would you?"
*** *** ***
Nanami didn't wake you up the next morning to watch him work on the car. He knew your poor little body was put through the ringer yesterday, so he gave you a tender kiss on the temple before making his way into the garage in just his sleeping pants and socks.
His father's car was already propped up on the jack, and his father groaned as he leaned up off the ground. "Well good morning." He says in a knowing tone.
"Good morning. Why are you down there? I told you I'd fix it today." Nanami asks as he shoos his dad out of his way, and he slides himself underneath the car.
"Well, I didn't know if you'd be up for it after your fun ventures last night." His dad hands Nanami a tool to help get the brake pads off the car.
Nanami stays silent. In his new found clarity, he does know that fucking you so loudly to where his parents can hear was a weird retaliation method, but he doesn't regret doing it.
"Your mother cried all night last night."
"Maybe she needs a reality check if she's that damn upset about who I choose to romantically involve myself with." Nanami rolls his eyes, and he grunts as he forces the brake pad away from the car.
"I don't think she was crying because of that. I think she realizes just how far she drove you away from her with her constant pressure over your love life." His dad explains, and he hands Nanami the new brake pad to replace on the car. "I'm not saying you or yn have to forgive her for how she acted today, but I am asking that you try to give her another chance today. I think she understands now."
Nanami takes a deep breath, but he nods quietly. "She's got one more time to say anything rude to my girlfriend, and we're taking the first train back to the university."
*** *** ***
Your eyes darted over to Nanami's nervously when his mother asked you to have a girl's day with her, but your boyfriend gently rubbed your back, silently assuring you that it'd be okay. At least, he hoped it'd be okay.
Nanami: Text me if she says anything rude. I'll pack our stuff up and we'll leave, okay?
Luckily, you didn't have to text him at all that day. His mom took you sight seeing around the town, out to eat at one of Hakone's favorite restaurants, and you two got your nails done.
"You know, I was being a bad person yesterday." She starts off as you two are sat next to each other. Her feet are being massaged by one of the workers, and you're getting your toes painted. "I guess I just had this idea of how I wanted Kento's life to go, and when things started not going to plan, I started trying to grasp onto anything that'd give me control."
You glance over at his mother, and she has a small nostalgic smile upon her face. "I can't believe I allowed myself to act that way towards you... especially after my parents did the same thing to Kento's dad."
"Your parents didn't accept Kento either?" You curiously ask, wondering how similar your stories were.
"No, but they didn't try to arrange me into a marriage either. They just didn't think Kento's dad was manly enough for me. They didn't like seeing me wear the pants in the relationship, but that's just what works for us... I use to beg for them to just let us be happy, but they never stopped criticizing him. I finally just.. stopping talking to them when I fell pregnant with Kento." She explains in a voice raw with emotion. You can clearly see how this still impacts her to this day.
"I don't want Ken to do the same to me... I want to be in his and your life and my future grandchild's life if that's what you two choose to do. I raised him well, and I know he has a good judgement of character. So, I know you must be a good person. If he's happy, then that's all that matters to me." She goes on, giving you a small apologetic smile. "I'm really sorry for how I acted towards you last night. It will never happen again."
*** *** ***
Nanami had spent the whole day checking his phone religiously while his dad kept him employed with random home renovation tasks. He was waiting for the moment to start packing up your stuff and telling his mom that he wasn't going to speak to them again.
When he heard sounds of wailing coming from the front door, he immediately hopped off the ladder that his dad was holding for him.
"Kento-!" His dad shouts as he wobbles around, but Nanami was already speed walking towards the front door to see what was happening.
To his surprise, there was no wailing. It was only hysterical laughter coming from you and his mom. He stood in the door way with a confused look on his face as he observed you two.
"Yes, he was such a cutie pie.." His mom laughs as she shows you another picture of Kento in high school.
"Aww, Ken... you didn't tell me you were emo." You greeted your boyfriend with a fit of giggles from seeing his high school photos. His fringe proudly in view.
Nanami rakes his hands through his shorter hair now, and he lets out a relieved laugh. Seeing you interact so happily with his mom was enough to make him feel full with love. His heart feels at ease now... until he remembers that he has to meet your parents at some point.
tags: @lemonlimecrystal-blog @theuniversesnepobaby
#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#fanfic#jjk suggestive#jjk nanami#jjk smut#nanami smut#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#college nanami#jjk college au#nerd!nanami#kento fluff#jjk gojo#kento smut#kento x reader#jjk kento#kento x y/n#nanamin
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