#But it’s only season 3 with just the brothers

[factual-fantasy]

28 asks, thank you!

@dogtor-of-the-hole

Oh I absolutely hate it through and through. You cannot convince me that the movie is being made by people who love/appreciate/understand Minecraft in any capacity. Jack Black being cast as Steve is the worst part by far. I will absolutely not not be watching it.

(Link in ask)

That music was really nice actually.. I clicked on their most recent video and listened to it while trying to take down art theft and making this post. It was spooky yet very calming.

I've always wanted to make short pixelated game that just tells a cool story with some kind of haunting twist. But I'm really bad with tech so never dared to try and code something like that.

I originally shelved my FNAF AU because my health was/is still in shambles and I couldn't handle trying to keep up with such q big project. But now I'm not wanting to go back to it due to the constant art theft I've getting recently.

Thank you for the concern.. I'm doing my best to have thick skin about it and just focus on reporting it all.

They still exist for sure. But my persistent illness along with the mountains of art theft is keeping all my FNAF stuff on the shelf.

@aishutoon

Happy Thanksgiving! :DD

I like the first one a lot and can watch it any day. Second one is about the same. But any movie after that I either don't like or it makes me too sad to watch.

Also, I cant remember making any artwork about it, no..

@howeaboutsomeketchul

Hello!

The only way all this can get worse if if they turn the thefts into a meme. Absolutely disgusting. I will not be returning to this fandom.

@rockyztownesys

Thank you,, I'm on a quest to try and get all the stolen art I can find taken down. In the meantime I've been trying to draw for myself but the truth is I'm really unmotivated atm. Hoping I feel better soon.

Thank you! :) I'm hoping I recover from all this too..

@paper-starz

Thank you,, I'm doing my best to draw for myself. But the truth is I'm just very unmotivated to draw without the nice feedback from my followers.😔I'm sure I'll find a way around it though. Maybe a longer break is what I need..

@misscherrypie

I'm sad they're out of season now 😔

(Link in post)

oooo I like the designs! :D

@mimiocto

Hello! :)

@neo-metalscottic (Digital circus post in question)

Thank you! I'm glad you like him. And funny you should mention the Lego batman movie Joker, I think his coattails subconsciously inspired me!

As for Roblox, I've been playing Creatures of Sonaria. Its a neat Gacha game where you get to run around as all these whacky creatures. So far my top 3 favorites are the Momola, Shararook and Jhiggo Jangl. Though I don't really play as Shararook because it moves so slowly and cant jump, climb or swim :(

And lastly, I really like that portrayal of Mario and Luigi! I imagine since Mario seems to be tough and a real go getter, he doesn't typically think situations all the way through and plan things out. He just jumps right in and sees what happens!.. Which don't usually turn out well <XD Giving him the appearance of the "dumber" brother as a result-

Meanwhile Luigi is more anxious and on the cautious side and is always thinking everything through before he does it. This makes me think he'd come out as the "smarter" brother who does a lot more thinking than doing. When in reality they're both pretty smart!

@glitchhayden418

Positive potato save me.. save me positive potato..

Yeah, I left a comment explaining that I wasn't ok with people using my designs. They apologized saying that they didn't know and immediately made their own design and hasn't used mine since. Nice fellow honestly, though I wish they had just checked first.

I'll have to look into that, thank you!

Thank you.. I've been trying to take a break and draw for myself. But I find myself unmotivated to draw while also missing drawing. Is that what burnout looks like.? I don't know..

For now I'm kind of lurking. I'm going to go try and get a lot of my stuff taken down. Hopefully it works and that gives me the confidence to come back and post some more. I love the interactions I get and wanna keep sharing my drawings. I just gotta take some time to try and feel better I suppose..

@lizardlover-skylarglamrock

Thank you,, I'm trying not to let it demotivate me. But its sure been happening a lot more than usual..

@wolfie-777

That's a neat idea! :000

@anonymous-red-shades

The CookieRun: Kingdom spooky muffin..

(link in ask)

Not particularly interested if I'm being honest.. the only character I like so far is Golden Osmanthus Cookie. Don't get me wrong I like the designs and themes of this update, but the cookies personalities are kind'a annoying to me so far 😔

Hmm.. what's something about him I haven't shared...

I don't think I've shared this- in my welcome home AU there are silly and colorful versions of normal foods. Like silly blue spaghetti or purple pizza! Stuff you might find in a show like that.

Now the thing is, Eddie wont touch any of these foods. He'll only eat foods that look normal to our standards. And he doesn't really know why he's picky about this.. he just is..

(Its because he was a human before becoming a puppet)

@captain-skyley

Aww, What a cutie! :D

[ghostymarni]

didn’t want to grief post on this thread, so just venting here for my own piece of mind

digital holonet entry 112824 0714hours

I’ve been on and off coping as grief does, but after seeing that post about not thinking too long about crosshair just reminded me how much I’ve kinda been avoiding drawing him.

I know I recently had a similar conversation with Lupe about this. He will always be favorite overall, but my vision for cross has artistically changed so many times because I think deep down it’s a grief truth for me that I’m struggling with. I have so many crosshair drawings I never posted because they’re just SAD. I didn’t want to turn this to a depression blog so I refrained from posting or deleted those from here.

My husband passed this summer more suddenly than I’d like to think about. He was watching season 3 without me because I was too busy with work at the time. But rewatching it after he passed had me instant hone in on crosshair + connecting the loss of my husband with the loss of tech; which gave a different part in my grief acceptance + a secondary obsession with the brilliant minded clone. It’s a reminder to hold onto everything we created and did, + to always keep thinking about him.

Crosshair returning with his brothers + not having tech there feels twice as suffering knowing what their last interaction was like. And an even deeper personal meaning knowing I see my husband in everything. In our life around us, in how I choose things, how I respond to things. (Which we see + are reminded of that tech is apart of everyone he ever met)

Self regret that we didn’t have time to have a proper last moment. It just ended. Just because you choose to accept they knew you loved them, + vise versa, doesn’t make it easier than you’ll never have them around anymore.

Which with grief, digs the vibro-blade a little deeper because you never know when your last interaction with someone is.

watching how each of them take the notion of what tech would do, picking up where he would take over. I would imagine it would catch crosshair off guard, hearing tinkering to certain data pad beeps, only to look up + see Echo fixing something, or Omega typing away. Because I literally do this with sounds I associate with my late husband.

That feeling never goes away for a loved one. His brother, his batch twin. But omega is a huge part of that healing. And she has been a huge part in mine connecting her with my kid who isn’t giving up on me + needs me. Simple intended motions go such a long way. And the scene were they’re meditating hits hard for me.

Even more so when I’m constantly shaking out my own hand to keep it under control. It’s never easy when it hits, but every scene of cross trying to get his tremors under control, is something I do more often than I care to admit. I just have to keep going.

Not seeing tech with omega, is like realizing I won’t ever see my husband with our son growing up. He’s young, + it feels more unfair. And that hurts. Crosshair is such a dynamic clone + his guilt + hurt reaches out to many people in so many different ways. Which is why I can’t think too long about him either, but he will always be my favorite overall because I see him as me.

From grief, trauma, hand tremors, loss. (if I’m being honest, I’m pretty decent at shooting actual long range rifles) there’s so much to crosshair I personally relate to, and not just his attitude haha!

Crosshair didn’t see his brother fall, but he watched another brother die in his place. An older brother that taught him a lesson he didn’t realize he needed to know until it was too late. We confirmed that from his retaliation of shooting an imperial officer, + when they returned to the deserted base; he instantly moves to set up the memorial buckets as Mayday did. A reminder of the fallen, a reminder that they existed + lived.

A lesson I have to remind myself everyday.

So what I guess I’m also trying to convey, while I see myself as crosshair, despite the grief, the false fight some days, I’ve never felt so alone than having my soulmate gone. Going from a life of fun, banter, + life for granted, to solitude and what feels like isolation.

the clone community really gave me a second chance. At me. At reconnecting with myself, my art, my humor + wit. The friendships I’ve made + are continue to make really are giving me a new fight and a new reason to just keep going.

I never share for sympathy, I don’t want to be put in a “do not interact zone”. That’s the opposite of what I need or want. I just wear my heart on my sleeve + find comfort in just being honest about struggles + how we strive to move on.

as our boy hardcase (+ echo) quote, what I try to embrace:

“LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY”

[hwallazia]

❅ ₊ ⋆ A LIL’ NASTY UNDER THE MISTLETOE

nic’s notes ⋆ hello, lovelies, and welcome to my very first event! i figured that since i’ve been ia for a little too long, i could repay y’all in some way. <3 i’ll do my best to complete everything. happy almost xmas season! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

warnings ⋆ all the scenarios will contain mature content. minors, please, do not interact with any of them + all fanfictions will have their warnings explicitly stated right below the link to the story.

fancy joining santa’s naughty list? click here.

TAKE MY DICK GIFT ! feat. kang yeosang.

⋆ synopsis. xmas eve’s finally here, and you & yeosang start your little gift exchange. you had bought your boyfriend — apart from a huge stack of videogames for him to vibe with & new headphones — some naughty gifts such as a little bullet vibrator & a fleshlight. little did you know he did the exact same thing. xmas eve was about to get real nasty.

warnings. tba

SUGAR SLEIGH RIDE ! feat. jeong yunho.

⋆ synopsis. caught in the chaos of an unexpected snowstorm, you and your brother’s best friend find yourselves stranded with no choice but to take shelter at his apartment. as the temperature drops and the cold seeps in, the crackling fireplace isn’t quite enough to keep him warm—so he turns to you for a different kind of heat.

warnings. tba

XMAS DINNER GOES WRONG ! feat. jung wooyoung.

⋆ synopsis. it seems like your husband can’t keep it in his pants, not even on a fucking christmas dinner with his family. but, as the lovely wifey you are, you gotta give him some relief, right?

warnings. tba

TIE ME UP LIKE I’M YOUR GIFT ! feat. song mingi.

⋆ synopsis. using restraints in the bedroom had been a fantasy of yours for the longest time—and xmas felt like the perfect excuse to make it a reality. armed with red velvet ribbons and a cheeky plan, you were ready to heat things up. but what you didn’t anticipate was just how much your fiancé would enjoy the idea—maybe even more than you.

warnings. tba

A LIL’ SEASONAL TURBULENCE ! feat. park seonghwa.

⋆ synopsis. on a flight to korea to visit your in-laws, seonghwa decides that a simple “merry xmas” just won’t cut it. instead, he opts for something far more daring—a surprise that leaves you breathless and pulled into the airplane’s tiny bathroom.

warnings. tba

ARCH MY BACK LIKE THAT VIOLIN ! feat. choi san.

⋆ synopsis. chosen to perform a violin solo for a xmas recital, he practices tirelessly at home. the haunting melody fills the air, but it’s the way his fingers move masterfully over the strings that stirs something deep within you, leaving you shifting in your seat. when his sharp gaze locks onto yours, he realizes exactly what kind of performance you’re craving—and he’s more than ready to deliver.

warnings. tba

HOT TO GO ! feat. kim hongjoong.

⋆ synopsis. during a xmas eve dinner with your family, your best friend disappears. concerned, you search the entire apartment complex, only to stumble upon him watching porn alone. unable to resist, you decide to tease him a bit about it.

warnings. tba

· all credits are reserved to © hwallazia — 2024.

[epickiya722]

"She liked him since the beginning! The ship was hinted at the beginning!"

AH!! How come people are so stuck on mentioning just how Ochako feels and not Izuku?

It's like some of you can't process that regardless of whether she had a crush on him or not, which again isn't a bad thing, her crush shouldn't be the only thing Ochako stands for.

It's not a personality trait and I hate it people will treat it like it is.

If anything, it just feels weird!

And I ask again, then what about Izuku? Oh, what did he not like her in the beginning? Or it's just being realizing that his mannerisms is that of a person being nervous and/or embarrassed?

Or does it not matter because "He's a guy, he's gonna have the girl anyways, so who cares if he develops romantic feelings for Ochako"?

And I wouldn't say Ochako even liked Izuku in the beginning romantically. In fact, I would say she started to like him that way during the Final War Arc.

Saying she liked him in the beginning would imply she liked him since they met.

Oh, please, the word "crush" didn't come up until season 3 during the Provisional License Exam arc. And how that scene played out, let's be real, Ochako believing she had a crush was enforced by Mina. Someone is obsessed with the idea of love. That's whose word is to be believed? Are you joking?

And I said this before, as big as Iida is, people be acting like he's invisible. Mina brought him up to in that conversation as, hello, Ochako hung around him a lot, too. Izuku just so happen to be who Ochako's attention went to because he was right in her line of sight... while practicing moves inspired by Iida!!

Now, do I think Ochako confessing her feelings undeveloped her growth? No. She accomplished what she wanted to do and I don't see Izuku making her a wife at the end. I see them deciding to reconcile a bond. Do I think Toga was forgotten? Uh, no. She is drawn right there and been on Ochako's mind for nearly a whole damn decade.

Everything about this chapter is up for debate. We don't know if that ship is truly canon and who said it has to be? And if it is, who is stopping you from not shipping it?

I know some people hate to see that IzuOcha handhold as the last shot and I get it. But I wouldn't be too pressed about given it's a part of an aftermath. You can just pretend the epilogue doesn't exist. Chapter 430 is still the complete story. You don't have to read the epilogue to fully understand the story.

Epilogues typically are just added ending scenes to show a glimpse into the future and/or to tie up loose ends. And honestly, MHA didn't need it. This was just something to have.

What I do know is I'm not on anyone's side.

I find funny that people who don't ship BakuDeku was quick to be like "I only see BakuDeku as platonic, the shippers really want them to be romantic, they're like brothers". But if anyone even implies that maybe the ending could be Izuku and Ochako rekindling their friendship, it's "how dare you, Ochako said she loved him".

Again, what about Izuku?! DID HE LIKE HER FROM THE BEGINNING?!

If BakuDeku are "like brothers", then bring up how Izuku and Ochako look like relatives. Having the same face shapes and whatnot.

Look, both sides are wrong. The behavior is ridiculous. Attacking and harassing each other over characters some of you clearly don't really care about unless it is for shipping.

I know the story isn't flawless, what story is, but it's not hard to actually read and try to understand what these characters are all about.

I'm not an expert on these characters, I'm not. But I adore them and regardless of how the writing is, I like to read their arcs and understand them better.

And there's no need to point at someone and fire lasers to do that.

If you ship BakuDeku, ship it. If you ship IzuOcha, ship it. No one is fucking stopping you. Heck, the story shouldn't stop you.

But all of this ship war bullshit is stupid. The official epilogue ain't even out yet, but here y'all go wanting to argue and argue and argue and argue and harass and harass and argue and act the fucking donkey.

"Well BakuDeku shippers are toxic!"

"IzuOcha shippers are toxic!"

No, look in the mirror, sit back and do some self-reflection.

Come December, the story will be done, finished, published, sold, another one in the "Well, that manga is finished" collection.

[embryoed]

No because you don’t understand how pissed I am that they SET UP an opportunity for Demetri and Hawk/Eli to actually talk through all their past baggage by having Demetri bring up the broken arm in Part One, only to completely backtrack in Part Two and make their conflict completely childish, petty, and all about MIT.

Like, what was the point then..? What was the point of making it clear that Demetri was still very much not over the stuff Hawk did to him if they weren’t gonna do anything with it? They kept creating new, stupid conflict with them when they could’ve expanded upon the conflict that was ALREADY THERE, the conflict that they literally SET UP and then did NOTHING with.

It’s still crazy how they had Demetri immediately forgive Hawk at the end of Season 3, and to have him basically just forgive and forget everything that happened to him makes me kinda livid.

Like, they had Demetri being suspicious of Kenny this season because he immediately forgave Devon for the laxatives, but that directly contradicts his character?? Like brother THAT’S YOU!!! He was asking why Kenny just suddenly forgave her after what she did, but he did the same thing by forgiving Hawk when he did much worse than Devon did.

And also Hawk telling Demetri that he shouldn’t do shitty things if he doesn’t wanna face consequences?? When he didn’t face any consequences specifically for what he put Demetri through?? He faced consequences for betraying Cobra Kai through the shaved mohawk, and he faced consequences for betraying Johnny through him being an outcast in the beginning of Season 4, but he never faced consequences specifically for what he did to Demetri.

I get that they’re secondary characters, but they could at least try to make them well-written secondary characters because oh my lord I will never shut up about this 😭😭

I know that we don’t have the full season yet so we could potentially get more but I doubt it.

I really and I mean REALLY despise how they handled the Eli/Demetri fight and that’s even outside of shipping.

They set up a really interesting fight. They call back to one of the worst moments in their relationship and do nothing meaningful with it. Demetri gets one line about how worried he was about losing Eli and that’s it. And as much as I love this show, there’s something infuriating about how they drag on the most overdone conflicts and breeze past the more interesting ones.

They afforded more time to the new catty female villain because apparently any girl from a rival dojo immediately has to be vindictive while the male character is afforded more depth. But they can’t give that to their characters that they’ve had since the beginning? They can’t just let these two friends have a genuine argument and actually talk through what happened between them?

And I’m not saying they had to be the main conflict. I recognize that Johnny, Daniel and co. are the main points. But I just wished they gave more time to let them argue. Not about who smelt it dealt it, not with a ridiculous cheating storyline. With actual care and consideration about their relationship.

Their relationship has consistently been swept under the rug. They could’ve done it in s4, arguably the perfect time to do so but they didn’t. They could’ve done it here but they didn’t. I’ll wait for part 3 but it seems that they’re once again relegated to a simple reconciliation when it’s anything but.

Again, I know that they’re not the main selling points (well maybe Hawk is but his presence and his fighting has significantly diminished but that’s a different conversation ) but I think they deserved more than what they got.

[speeedyquick1245]

I’ve started watching supernatural with my mom and I think it’s starting to already take over my life… My mom is getting into it really hard too. We are only on season 3 and my mom is calling Sam and Dean “our Sam and Dean” and “we got to see what happens to Sammy and Dean today.”

[lordandladywhistledown]

I love how Colin is surprised and taken aback when Marina says Penelope cares for him...

He's like: "Penelope?!??!?!! No way that she cares for me.... it's not like I send her more letters than anyone and she actually replies to them unlike my own family and it's not like she always smiles when she sees me and it's not like she tried to warn me not to marry a woman I barely knew and that she's the only one who seems to be interested in what I have to say about things. But Penelope???? No way she even thinks about me when I'm not there 😝😊🤪"

I feel like he doesn't understand that Penelope likes him until the very end of S2 and even then, he doesn't completely understand how deep her feelings are and that's then why he also doesn't understand that he has feelings for her, too. He's just stuck there thinking that's what normal friendships are like... he's so sweet and so so innocent

[niobiumao3]

@heyclickadee You bring up something very interesting in your tags here I'd not thought about. The show's viewpoint character, Omega, never once acknowledges or speaks of Tech's death of her own accord. Not. Once.

After the finale in S2, there's only two times she's involved in a conversation which indirectly references him being gone/dead: the table scene in The Return ('if Tech were here' <everyone looks sad>) and when Phee talks about him knowing things in episode 8. And in both of these cases, she SAYS nothing, nor do we see her reaction in the episode 8 instance. We see her look sad--like everyone else--in episode 5. And that's the extent. Our viewpoint character's reaction to her beloved brother dying is confined to the finale of Season 2 and never comes up in Season 3.

...are we for real with that? It seems absolutely crazy unless the writers want us to think she's just totally over it and 'we adapt and move on she's just covering her grief like they do' which is a shallow, heartless narrative? From the people who did Outpost and Solitary Clone and Battle Scars?

So yeah. Either Season 3 literally let the viewpoint character of the whole show just shrug off her brother's death.

Or.

Okay so another thing on the Tech Lives table that I realized through a conversation with @heyclickadee...

If Tech isn't alive, the Archium has no reason to exist.

Because truly we don't DO anything with it, we set up that it's a giant building where rescued artifacts are kept, where all the memories of the various cultures that have escaped to Pabu are kept. It gets its own explanation, we get the batch retrieving an artifact which then gets put into the Archium, setting it up as something that is at least going to become relevant.

But what did we actually do with it? The only thing that happens is Tech's goggles getting put into it, which COULD justify its existence... if the goggles had stayed in it. But we know they don't! Because the last shot of them in the show is being in Omega's ship, having been removed from the Archium at an undetermined date.

So... if Tech is dead, the Archium officially has no purpose - it doesn't serve as Tech's metaphorical final resting place, it doesn't contain anything that was useful to the batch, etc.

But, if Tech is alive and if, specifically, he comes back before the epilogue, the Archium is then a huge Chekov's gun. Imagine an amnesiac Tech, having fallen in with pirates and smugglers like Phee explicitly told him not to do, getting into a situation where he's raiding the Archium. He's drawn to the tree statue that they helped Phee save without really knowing why - and conveniently, the tree is right next to a pair of shattered goggles and a children's toy. Completely valueless items that he's compelled to take with him, perhaps?

I don't think that anything in TBB exists for no reason at all. The goggles were put into the Archium for a reason, and that reason was probably not JUST to get them off the ship, because setting up a building all the way back in season 2 for the exclusive purpose of not blowing up a pair of goggles is unlikely when they could have had them off the ship for any other reason, or even be one of the few surviving pieces of the Marauder. It's not to be Tech's final resting place, because they don't stay in the Archium. So, what does it exist for? Does it serve a purpose?

If Tech comes back in a future show, yes, otherwise no.

[shepscapades]

shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet 😂

anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao

LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly

[kaythefloppa]

If Season 7 is going to have it be a recurring theme of character-focused/emotionally driven stories then uhm, when is an episode centering around a certain redeemed villain as well as covering the Rex-shaped hole in said villain's redemption arc going to happen?

I'm waiting.

[al-luviec]

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

[a-shade-of-green]

yeah so that scene where mike kicks down the fort in his basement in s1 is definitely supposed to be paralleled by will taking down castle byers in s3. just if anyone cares about when mike turned his back on being a kid.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

(can be read as a standalone)

STEVE LOOKS AT HIS BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND THINKS FUCK IT

(ft. a heartbreaking realization followed bi gay panic and way more Eddie than initially intended. Also: Steve becomes a dad)

cw: drinking, mention of drugs, mentions of homophobia, Steve going through it once again

cool and correct steve playlist

Bullshit.

Steve is good at being alone.

He is even better at pretending that he isn't lonely. That being lonely and being alone is the same thing. Because not being alone is easy. He can do something against that. Throw a party. Fill his house with people until he can barely take a step without stumbling into someone. Say stupid shit in class so that everyone has no choice but to be aware of him. Study with Nancy even if the material refuses to get into his head no matter how often he reads over it and he just feels so fucking stupid. Drive the kids around even if their screaming gives him a headache (his mother said that headaches have always been in the family anyways).

Your love is bullshit.

In fact, he got so good at this over the years, that he almost started to believe it himself.

And isn't it funny how, as soon as he can't run away from the truth anymore, cannot deny that he is so fucking lonely that it hurts and that he has never not been, that he tries again and again but it never works and the problem must be with him, right? Even Nancy has Jonathan, and all Steve has is bullshit - as soon as he admits to himself that he is fucking lonely, he wants to be alone.

It isn't fair, because parties were always his escape. Music that is loud enough to drown out his pathetic heartbeat, longing and screaming for another one with every pump. Enough alcohol for him to lose count of how many days, weeks, months it has been since he last saw his parents. Enough bodies rubbing against one another that it starts to get hard to tell where one ends and the next begins.

And it is in a party that Nancy Wheeler breaks his heart. She takes that pathetic trembling little thing, with so much to give but nowhere, no one to give it to. She takes this wretched beating monstrosity and smashes it in her fists. Digs her nails into it and squeezes until he can't breathe. Grabs each end and opens it, rips it apart until he can't hide or run away anymore.

The music is so loud he can pretend that he didn't understand her for a few seconds longer. She drinks enough for her eloquence to leave her, for her to see straight into the heart of the whole shit show and to summaries everything in the most concise and yet fitting way possible. The alcohol finally gives her the courage to say what has been coming for months. You are bullshit, she says. You are alone, he hears. And the bodies that have been his refuge for so many years turn into obstacles getting in the way of fresh air.

As if fresh air can magically turn him into a decent person. (into someone who deserves love)

And suddenly he realizes how futile that all was. How stupid he is. Inviting people he barely spoke three words to into his empty house. Screaming into the void in a crowd of people until he can't differentiate his voice from the others anymore. He invited everyone so they could admire this character he wore like an ill-fitting mask - and then what? Did he want to be applauded for it? Congratulations, you force yourself to be what everyone around you wants, and YOU'RE STILL FUCKING ALONE.

He finally manages to go outside and he doesn't know what the fuck he is supposed to do now. There are still people everywhere. The air is still heavy with weed and smoke and vomit. His head aches to the beat of the music, although it might also be because of the tears he is trying not to let fall.

So there he is. In a party full of people and yet alone in a way he has never allowed himself to be before.

He wants to leave, but the thought of being in that empty house just makes his anxiety grow. He wants to go back inside, but the thought of the whole school being witness to Steve "The King" Harrington's Fall from Grace part 2: electric Boogaloo makes his skin crawl. He needs to be gone. He can't be alone. He needs to think. He can't bear the thoughts tormenting him in his head.

He sees a relatively empty patch of grass and runs. The fence digs against his back but he can barely feel it. He has never been so fascinated by good old boring grass as he is now.

"Oh wow, someone kick your puppy or something? You look so pathetic, I might even give you a discount, your highne- fuck are you crying?!"

Steve looks up and can't hold in the sigh that escapes him (he pretends to himself that it doesn't sound as tremulous as it does, thinks he can allow himself this one concession in this already disastrous night).

"No", he lies.

Now it makes sense, why this patch is so empty. Nobody wants to be seen spending time with Eddie "The Freak" Munson. The only reason he is even here is the metal lunchbox he always carries around. Steve always had a sort of admiration for him - not that he could ever let anyone know that. Because Steve was - as Nancy so kindly put it - bullshit. He laughed as Tommy shoved kids against the lockers because that was what was expected of the popular jock. He threw parties because that was what teenagers are supposed to do when it is the weekend and your parents aren't home. Girls he didn't even know the name of asked him out and he accepted because he could feel the entire school staring at the back of his neck. And as soon as he stopped doing that - when Nancy finally gave him the courage to say no when he didn't want to - everyone left him. Including Nancy.

But Eddie? Eddie didn't care. Eddie didn't give a fuck that people called him a girl because of his long hair, he just let it grow and it looked fucking good. Eddie didn't give a fuck that Tommy called him a fairy because of his painted nails and jewelry, he just put up his middle finger, showing off the biggest fucking ring Steve has ever seen. Munson is unashamedly himself and every year a new group of freshmen nerds join his table of weirdos. They only leave when they graduate.

Now, with alcohol buzzing in his veins and his heart shattered into a thousand pieces, he can admit that he is kind of...jealous. Munson is brave in a way Steve has never managed. He jumps on tables and screams about conformity or shit and he doesn't give a fuck. Hell, he brings his lunchbox full of drugs to school like it's the most normal thing in the world. (Sometimes he wonders whether some teachers know and that is the reason he can't get through his senior year.)

"Would be more convincing if you weren't currently sobbing, pretty boy." Eddie's arm is extended towards him, almost as if he is going to touch him. But when Steve looks up he quickly brings it back to his side.

He feels his cheeks heat up. "...pretty boy?"

He looks fascinated as Eddie takes a lock of his hair and twirls it around his finger. The ring finger in his left hand, to be more precise, ironically the only one not adorned with a ring. He vaguely wonders if that is intentional. Eddie's fingers are long and slim. Piano fingers, his father would say. Didn't he play in a band or something? He continues watching entranced as Eddie lifts his finger and starts chewing on his hair. His lips are chapped. Paired with his big brown doe eyes, the effect is weirdly.... adorable.

"-heart?". It is only when those ridiculously red chapped lips move that Steve realized that Eddie is talking to him. His gaze seems to betray his confusion because the older boy sighs and presumably repeats himself. "I asked, are you doing okay?! Jesus H. Christ I'd think I was dreaming except that you aren't on your knees"

Steve doesn't think he was supposed to hear this second part and he frankly does not have energy to unpack that, so he makes the executive decision to ignore it. He has also already failed in his quest to not cry, and the only person he wants to talk to is the current reason for his distress, so he thinks, fuck it. (It's not like Munson really counts as a person anyway, a voice whispers in his head, but he ignores it. He does not want to be that person anymore)

"I think my girlfriend just broke up with me"

"You think?!"

"I am pretty sure my girlfriend just broke up with me"

"What?!"

"I said-"

"No, I understand. I just find it hard to believe. A lowly peasant captures the heart of the king- nay, the emperor- nay, the god of this hellish kingdom we call Hawkins High. And she, without mercy or remorse-"

"Don't call me that." Eddie freezes, his hands still raised from wildly gesticulating before. Steve absentmindedly notes that his rings glimmer orange from the bonfire.

"Don't call me king or, or emperor or whatever-"

"God."

"whatever, because that's not me. I- I don't want to be that person anymore. I know I was an asshole and- and I want to do better. So...yeah."

"Stevie, Stevie, Stevie" He tries to ignore the goosebumps, tries not to stare too hard at the mouth lovingly forming this single word. When was the last time someone called him a nickname? Even Nancy just called him by his name. Maybe that was one of the signs he overlooked. Maybe- (stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop thinking about it) (lonely lonely lonely lonely)

He looks back at Eddie and sees that he isn't looking at him anymore (big doe eyes just like hers) He follows the older boy's gaze hoping something will distract him from spiralling. He doesn't know why he feels disappointed when the goal turns out to be Billy Hargrove: cigarette in his cherry red lips, some girl he isn't even looking at under his arm, icy eyes so intense they seem otherworldly.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that you were dethroned. Really not your year, is it?"

And Steve isn't sure what it is. Maybe Nancy's words are only now really sinking in. The fact that now he has neither girlfriend nor friends. Maybe it is the shame of realizing that Eddie actually isn't a bad guy, that he used to make his life hell for no fucking reason. And maybe a petty part of him is angry at how easily Billy filled the whole he left, how years of friendship apparently mean nothing to Tommy and Carol. Maybe he hates himself for missing them sometimes, even though he knows that they aren't the kind of people he wants to associate himself with. Or maybe it's just fucking infuriating how fucking big and warm Eddie Munson's fucking eyes look in the orange light. All he knows is that one second he is talking to Eddie "The Freak" Munson with blood roaring in his ears and the next he is sitting in his car. He grips the steering wheel so tightly his fingers turn white. One blink and he is parking on his driveway, another and the door is slamming shut behind him. (Dad will be mad, the ten year old in him cries, but he tells him to shut up, too)

And here he is now, sitting on his ridiculous white leather sofa staring at his grey concrete walls. (alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone)

When his father is home, he almost exclusively spends time in his study. The one Steve isn't supposed to go into. And yet he is also the one who meticulously planned the living room. The whole house, really. He saw pictures in a business magazine and ordered someone beneath him to get it done. Everything is color coordinated: grey and white and the occasional pop of brown. It doesn't look like people are supposed to live in it. It is lifeless and clinical and Steve feels like an intruder in his own home. But he doesn't dare change anything. Once his mom tried to place a red vase with purple flowers on the coffee table. The fight ended with her sleeping in a hotel for a month.

Steve can handle sleeping in a hotel. It isn't like it would be all too different from his current situation. If he had to finance it on his own it would be a different story, but his parents would never allow him to sleep in the streets. He can already hear his mother's shrill voice "what would that look like, Stephen?!"

What Steve can not handle is being the only living being inside these trist walls.

(alone alone alone alone)

The thought is so overwhelming that he breaks into his father's liquor cabinet. When he finally falls asleep, bottle still in hand, he dreams of flowers and trees and waterfalls and life.

--

The next day he takes an aspirin against the pounding in his brain and drives to the hardware store. (He will probably be too scared to actually go through with it if he has the ability to think clearly). He parks his Beemer (please don't get dirty with soil please don't get dirty with soil shit maybe he should've brought plastic plane or something to cover the leather seats) and waves hello to the poor guy manning the register (he thinks he remembers him laughing around Billy yesterday night. He slams the door extra hard behind him and can't help the schadenfreude when he sees him flinch. It hurts like a bitch but it's completely worth it) and goes straight to the plant section.

For a moment he just stands there. It feels kind of insane. Here he is, standing in front of a shelf filled to the brim with living beings. Beings that need oxygen and sun and nutrients and water just like him. And he can just buy them for like five dollars. What the heck. (Is he just going to be trafficking a bunch of little guys into his house?!?! he feels a weird mix of fear and excitement when he realizes that he will actually have to take care of everyone he decides to take home with him. He will be needed.)

He sees a plant with leaves so large that it is almost pushing it's neighbours out of the shelf and into the deadly hard floor below. It kind of reminds him of Mike, the way that little asshole is always trying to get him to leave Na- to leave his sister alone. (Do not think of Nancy do not think of Nancy) (Bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit) (alone alone alone alone)

The thought is so amusing he immediately adds the newly dubbed Mike Jr. into his cart. (For a moment he feels incredibly idiotic. What would the others think if they saw him?! Naming a plant he is only buying because he has no friends. But then he remembers that the entire reason for this little trip is that there isn't anyone to stop him, so he proudly glares at Mike Jr. in his cart like a disgruntled mother and continues on in his journey.) The next few minutes (hours? days? time is a social construct anyway) are spent trying to find the leafy reincarnation of the rest of the little party. Max gets a cactus with a beautiful pink flower blooming at the top. Dustin gets a succulent that falls on his foot like the fucking menace it is and is still somehow in one peace. Hard-headed just like it's namesake, Steve thinks and adds it to the cart. Picking the one hanging from the ceiling with the leaves majestically growing towards the ground because it reminds him of El's nosebleeds may be kind of morbid, but as long as Hopper never finds out it should be fine. Lucas gets the tall ones that almost look like a miniature palm tree. (He finds it kind of genius. Steve isn't sure what exactly it is about miniature trees that tickles his fancy, but Tall Lucas may be his favorite. Don't tell the others.) Human Lucas is the tallest of the bunch and is starting to show interest in basketball, which gets Steve weirdly emotional when he can't sleep at night. Will is the hardest. He is the quietest of the bunch and he doesn't drive him around as often as the others because his mother doesn't want to let him out of her sight. He settles for a bamboo in the end. It fascinates him to see it thriving even though it is so far away from home.

When he is preparing himself to leave, his eyes catch a bright yellow flower. (Rings glimmering in the orange light). He doesn't think too hard about it when Eddie Senior finds it's way into his cart.

On the way home he stops by the library. He doesn't think he has ever been here unless Nancy forced him. He's surprised at the amount of people that are actually here. He picks out as many books about botanics as he can take home at once (he may not be a fan of reading, but he will bear it for the sake of his new roommates). Back in the house he places all his kids on the coffee table (ha, suck it dad!), makes himself the biggest cup of coffee with a frankly concerning amount of espresso shots, and sleeps for the rest of the day.

When he wakes up the sun has already set. (nobody noticed he had been gone all day). He looks at the books, looks at the plants, and makes the executive decision not to go to school on Monday. Only to be able to take better care of his new charges, of course, no other reason. (He can already hear the whispers. "Oh how the mighty have fallen" "did you see that his girlfriend dumped him?" "look how pathetic, all alone" "dethroned")

He expects to need to force himself through each page. He expects to return the books without opening even half of them. He expects to just give up and abandon his babies in a park or something, it's not like they can be home when his father returns anyway.

What he does not expect is to be wakened out of his trance-like state by his own growling stomach. The first thing he is aware of is that the sun is already high up in the sky. The second is that he really really needs to pee. And eat. And drink. And find the exact right spot with the perfect amount of sunlight for each plant. And make a plan of when he has to water each one. And make sure that the vases are all big enough for the plants to properly thrive. And go buy the correct soil.

Maybe he would feel a bit bad if Nancy was still up his ass about school and attendance and punctuality and all this shit (don't think about her don't think about her don't think about her) but as things are he runs to the bathroom, whips up a quick Spaghetti al Sugo and runs back to the hardware store.

He tries to remember everything he learned. Apparently Will The Strong is actually a bamboo-type that is native to North America (the so-called arundinaria appalachiana) but that is fine, too. He should probably get bigger vases for all the plants now that he is thinking about it, even if they don't necessarily need it they deserve to have a bit more space. Would it be overkill to get a sun lamp?? Steve makes to horrifying realization that the store in Hawkins does not have Cactus or Succulent soil on sale (seriously, this is so ridiculous. How can you sell cacti with a straight face and not have any soil for it in the shop?!) He goes back to his car and goes to the next town over. (He goes a bit over the speed limit but nobody catches him so it is fine. The thought of leaving his beloved plants alone for too long make him feel kind of bad for some reason.)

It is there that the shopkeeper shows him the marvelous world of Bonsai. They are like Tall Lucas, but better. Because they are real trees, like the big ones, but in small. They can even grow real fruit. And the fruit keeps it's original size, even if the tree is tiny. Steve sees a mini apple tree and it is fucking love at first sight. He leaves the store with five new roommates (he has to find them a name on the drive home), more vases than he actually needs (they just looked so pretty, it would be cruel to make him choose), a watering can he doesn't actually need (he will have to look this object in the eyes every fucking day he deserves to actually choose it okay), more types of soil than he thought existed and two books about Bonsai.

(he finds it fascinating for some reason. Taking something as tall and strong and imposing as a tree and taking it into your home. Having something so fragile be dependent on your own two hands. Bonsais are not easy, the clerk had said. You need to be careful, gentle, loving. Cut their leaves every day. It shows when you don't take proper care of them, even if it is just a single day.)

--

He knows this is a fight he cannot win, but as soon as Hargrove dares to put his hands on Lucas any rational thought leaves him. The last thing he sees is a fist coming towards his face. The last thing he hears is a plate breaking somewhere above. Then everything is dark.

When he comes to he is in a car. He needs a second to recognize the car as his own. He needs another to realize that nobody else in the car should actually be driving. He wishes he didn't have that second realization, he has enough of a headache as it is. The only thing worse than finding out that a twelve year old is driving his beloved BMW is knowing where exactly she is driving them to.

When he sees the monster coming, he knows he can't let it get to the kids. He is the oldest. (He is alone). He will make sure that those fucking dipshits make it back home if it is the last thing he does.

When he knows that he is not going to make it out of this one alive, when he feels it in the depth of his bones that it is either him or the kids and truly, is that even choice to begin with?, he thinks of his plants. He feels bad for Rose Nylund and Dorothy Zbornak. His miniature trees were coming along so well....

--

Apparently it is not abnormal to lose ones brain-mouth filter for a bit when one has a concussion. Or ones ability to think clearly.

After everything is done for the second (and hopefully last) time. Hopper says they should have another Congratulations We Survived This Shit Again-dinner, and Joyce looks so devastated Steve doesn't have the heart to say no even though his head still isn't 100% back to normal (the doctors said that maybe it never will, but he tries not to think about that.)

This one is somehow worse than the first. The first thing Hopper does is loudly complain about the lack of Lasagna on the table. Steve sits as far away from Nancy as possible and tries not to look at her. (Tries not to look at her and Jonathan's intertwined hands). She tries to speak with him, but he somehow manages to avoid her. Hopper tries to force the Byers into conversation, but they just stare into their plates with a faraway look.

Unsurprisingly it is Mike who starts it, the little shit could never pass up the chance to make fun of him. He screams about how Steve kept talking about leaves and trees and plants and about watering "his kids", and Steve doesn't say anything because Mike's voice sounds so tiny and desperate in the silence and it hurts him in his very soul. Dustin adds that he sometimes spoke in another language, and he thinks the looks of horror on their faces are a bit exaggerated when he reveals that he is half-italian from his mother's side.

He ends up showing them his babies, and the kids somehow manage to weasel their names out of him. Max looks appropriately smug when she sees her badass cactus, and Dustin is insulted when he sees his Succulent. He does not look happier when Steve explains the origin story. (He changes the subject when Will quietly asks why the bright yellow flower is called Eddie)

--

He starts driving Max back home from school while Billy isn't allowed to drive. Nobody knows how the drugs got into his system. (He has his suspicions but sometimes it's just easier not to ask)

One day she enters the car with dirt underneath her nails and a bouquet of Petunia in her hands. "This is Non-Concussed Steve", she proclaims proudly. "It doesn't look like it, but it is actually very resilient". Just like you, she doesn't say, but he hears it anyway. He tries not to cry and fails spectacularly.

Unexpected talent #2: gardening

-> a comprehensive list of all of Steve's babies

[joeylivesinspace]

duffers apologize to jonathan byers RIGHT NOW

[sallytwo]

A BALL ON FIRE AT THE CENTER OF THINGS / A BRAIN ON FIRE AT THE CENTER OF THINGS

[markantonys]

readers were upset about the prime x-ray spoiling show-onlys by naming rand's mom tigraine in s1, but counterpoint: the show actually should explain rand's full heritage as quickly as possible because i cannot have show-onlys refusing to get invested in randlayne because they think a secret-sibling shoe is going to drop