#But ill embrace it with open arms
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Never thought id be the person to wake up early just to clean before leaving for work, especially when it is so difficult for me to do, just to think physically
But "my" kid is coming over today and im going to make sure shes not walking into a messy appartment.
The sense of purpose and motivation to keep this place clean, even if it means moving a few things at a time, is incredible.
#Ive started buying fresh fruit and cookies to keep here too#I think Im accidentally morphing into dad Mode#But ill embrace it with open arms#Personal#social work
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nothing, just thinking about how javier is so coyote-coded and low honor arthur is represented by a coyote âŚ
#something something about how arthurâs outlaw lifestyle could in one direction be a catalyst for evil and cruel deeds#how dutchâs preachings arthur could use as a âmeans to an endâ philosophy to rampant crime and corruption#and how this mentality takes him distances that are metaphorically represented by a black coyote#the evil inside him#the sooted cruel byproduct that dutch raised with his own two hands#and how javierâs loyalty blinds him#while he may not exactly share this ashed blackened coat he is still a canine with fangs#a one who bares them in the name of the outlaw lifestyle#the one that welcomed him with open arms#the one that felt like dutchâs embrace#and javier never contracted an illness#he never had something to rock him to his core so deep that be felt the courage to question all heâd known#and so his fangs stayed sharp#and that outlaw blood of his never left him#not at least until it was spilt on the loose sand of mexico when john caught back up with him#anyway. just been thinking.#rdr2#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr#javier escuella#rdr2 meta#kinda ?#hero's talking to himself again#text#john marston#mentioned
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RANDOM THOUGHT but
What if, after Cosmic Fury, when Amelia gets together with Javi, she's skeptical that he'll also turn evil and be taken away from her and try to kill her?? Because so far, her experience has been horrible, everyone she loves becomes eViL and tries to kill her... she doesn't want that to happen with Javi too.
"I'd not be able to live with myself if something happened to you too..."
And Javi just thinks she's being paranoid, simply because, "Pop Pop never turned evil, now, did he? and I think you love him more than any person in the entire universe"
Javi's smile and his reassurances always soothe her down. He's the only one who makes her believe, even if its for a little time until she starts overthinking, that she's not "Cursed to bring doom to everyone she loves"
:3
#Javi also says that if she'd be the reason for his doom he'd embrace that doom with open arms#evil parents and evil boyfriend gave my girl TRAUMA#she doesnt want a repeat of that with javi and javi goes iLL NEVER TURN EVIL. unless its turning evil TO KILL PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU#RANdoM thoughts#:3#javi garcia#amelia jones#javelia#power rangers#power rangers cosmic fury#cosmic fury
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âââ°â´,*â
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Description: Getting kinky with the windbreaker boys. I have so many thoughts about these men and I just needed to get them out of my system. Characters: Toma Hiragi, Ren Kaji, Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suo, & Yamato Endo. Word Count: 2.2k Tags: fem!reader, brat taming, praise, somnophilia, edging, mommy kink, dacryphilia, consent non consent, choking, degradation, oral (fem!receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk.
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a/n: These are more like thirsts than headcannons but oh well. I might expand on some of these eventually and turn them into full fics if I can sit down and commit to it. It the mental illness, innit? Regardless, I hope you enjoyed these little blurbs! Special shout out to @foxyfiction & @to-eden for helping me with the prompts for some of these, you both are amazing. <3
I also have a masterlist now, if youâre interested that could be found : HERE
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Brat Taming
Hiragi had enough of you today, your skirt pulled up high, a constant switch in your hips while on patrol today with the Tamon team. Constantly teasing him, whether it was pulling him into an alley for an impromptu make out session, bending over in front of him letting him catch a glimpse of your already wet panties, or rubbing against his perpetually hard cock as you âjust needed to slip past him real quickâ. He was patient, tension building throughout the day coming to a fever pitch when you had both made it back to your shared apartment. He was on you in moments, lifting the back of your skirt to lay a harsh lap to you ass. Grabbing a fistful of your hair as he growls in your ear. â I want you on that bed and I want you completely bare, do you understand?â He releases you hair, watching as you strip for him, climbing on the bed moments after you do.
Grabbing a hold of your cheeks with a rough hand he forces you to look up at him, eyes glazed over with arousal. Squishing your cheeks he props your mouth open, shoving a long digit past your lips. He grins as your mouth instinctively wraps around the digit, pumping the finger in and out of your lips, eyes rolling back as he feels your tongue wrap around the digit. Sucking his teeth as you shoot him a wink as he stuffs a second digit in your mouth. âSuch a fucking brat, you know that?â He forces your thighs apart, free hand punctuating his words with a harsh slap to your dripping cunt.
His fingers sliding down, his fist two digits using your saliva that coated them to rub fast smooth circles against the sensitive bud. âDonât forget your still getting punished baby.â He tsks giving you a sharp toothed grin. âLook at your pretty cunt, clenching around nothing, poor baby.â He coos, leaning down to your ear, lips grazing the shell to whisper. âYouâre going to have to come from just my fingers before you can have my cock baby, think you can do that for me, hmm?â
Praise (Receiving)
Kaji had lost his temper once more, today a fight had broken out. One of the members of the opposing gang had harshly grabbed your arm, tugging you against him spitting extremities about the things he plandded to do to you. The words coupled with the fear in your wide eyes had Kaji seeing red. Completely blacking out in a fit of rage, he hated his, he especially hated you seeing him like this. The few times he had lost his temper in front of you, he ran, unable to face you. But not this time, you wouldnât let him run from you. Grabbing the sleeve of his jacket you were quick to take him back to your apartment, silencing whatever apologies or exasperations with your lips against his.
Walking him backward toward your bedroom you wait for the back of his knees to hit the mattress. Pushing him to sit down as you climb on his lap. Mouths entangling in a heated embrace, clothes being pulled from each others bodies in a rush of passsion. Kaji trails kisses down your exposed body, lips wrapping arount a perked bud taking your nipple into his mouth. You rocked your hips against his, gronaing into the air. Your hands unfaten his pants, and with his help you pull his cock from his pants. You give him a smile, stroking his cheeks, eyes soft with fondness. âYou're such a good boy Ren, always so good to me.â
You coo, the praise falling from your lips as you place one more kiss to his lips. Moving to grab him by the base, positioning him at your entrance, the desperate look in his eyes is all the confirmation you need to sink down on his length. You bite your lip, letting out a whimper at the feeling of his thick cock filling you to the brim. You tangle one hand in his hair, pulling lightly on his blonde strands, while the other moves up to his shoulder, nails digging into the skin. Pulling away only far enough to mumble into his lips. âFuck, Ren.. Feel so good, you fill me up so good baby. I love you so much.â
Somnophillia
You wake feeling something warm between your legs. It isnât long before your head is thrown back against the pillows you were once sleeping soundly against, voice crying out in pleasure as your boyfriendâs tongue draws slow patterns on your sensitive clit. You look down at him eyes lidded with sleep and now lust. âHaru.. what are you doing?â You mumble, blinking the sleep from your eyes. Between your thighs you can feel his cheeks heat up, a feirce blush on his features. He barely pulls from your cunt, mumbling against your center. âCouldnât sleep, needed to taste you, âm want you so bad.â
He groans, hips rutting into the mattress, desperate for some friction to his aching cock. Any further arguments are silenced by a loud moan erupting from your lips, Sakura licks a fat stripe up your clit brfore reattaching his lips fully to your nub. He eats your cunt with such desperation, as if he needed to conume you to keep air in his lungs. His tongue is soon replaced by the rough pad of his thumb, head ducking lower to slide his tongue inside of your entrance, sliding against the silk walls of your pussy. He groans deep in his throat, the vibrations of the noise only enhancing the pleasure youâre feeling. âAlways taste so fucking good, need more..â He groans, pulling from your center, he slides up your body lips attacking yours with reckless hunger. He slid the material of his boxers down in one swift motion, grabbing himself by the base of his cock, collecting your wetness on the tip of his cock using it to ease himself inside your velvety walls.
He lets out a loud groan as he fully sheaths his cock inside you, head dipping to capture your lips with his own. The kiss is immediately laced with hunger, teeth clashing and tongues dancing in each others mouths. He pulls away, heavy breaths fanning against your lips as he sets a harsh steady pace from the start. âFuck baby⌠canât even sleep without you consuming my thoughts. Need you desperately⌠constantly.. feel like Iâll lose it if Iâm not inside of you.â
Edging/Mommy Kink
You place a delicate kiss to his lips, trailing your kisses down his body until you were situated between his thighs. Looking up at him with hooded eyes from your current position. âYou weren't lying baby boy. Look at how hard you are.â You grin, not letting him answer as you gave a few experimental tugs to his cock. Leaning up to lick a fat stripe from his base to his tip, collecting the pre come that had been steadily dripping since you had begun. Pulling away and leaning up once again, you grab his face in your hand, forcing his mouth open before letting your saliva mixed with his precum drip from your mouth to his. Placing a hand over his mouth, you lean down to his ear. âSwallow baby, I want you to taste us.â
You take his shock as an opportunity to lower yourself back down between his legs, swirling your tongue around his sensitive mushroom tip, taking as much as your throat would allow, hollowing your cheeks. Beginning to bob your head up and down on his cock. Choji tugged at the cloth around his wrists, restraining himself as much as he could to not buck his hips. Failing miserably as his body writhed under yours He cried out as he felt your warm mouth around his cock, tears collecting by the corners of his eyes. Whimpers and cries falling from his lips as he found every ounce of restraint to not let his body betray him. The could in his stomach building once more for what seemed like the umpteenth time that evening. He didnât want to fuck all of this up and receive punishment even further. âMommy, please your mouth is so warm⌠be careful. I dont wanna come.. too soon.â
You grin around him, looking up at him through your lashes, nearly removing yourself from him before plunging back down, taking him until you feel him hit the back of your throat. You do this a few more times before pulling yourself off his cock with a 'pop'. You make your way up his body, getting impatient yourself, feeling your cunt clench around nothing. Straddling his abdomen, right above where he needed you most, Â pressing your lips against his in a heated kiss. Desperately trying not to show that you were just as affected by your actions. You grab a fistful of his hair, tugging harshly, effectively separating your lips as you speak against his lips. âTell mommy what you want baby boy. Go on, use your words I want to hear you.â
Dacryphillia
Each one of your pleas fog his mind with uncontrollable lust. Wram brown irises drowning in it. âSo desperate for me already, darling, we havent even begun the main event.â He teases, directly into your ear, as he finally lines the tip of his thick cock with your entrance. Suo had been teasing you for what seemed like hours. Pulling orgasm after orgasm from your overstimulated cunt. Having made you come undone on his fingers and tongue several times, your pussy having felt desperatly empty without his cock filling you. He grins as you whine, his head just barely probing your entrance. âPlease, Haya.â You whimper desperate for him to do something, anything, tears blurring your vision as they collected at your lashline.
âPlease?â He tiles his head in mocking obliviousness. âPlease what princess? Gotta tell me what to do or I cant help you, tell me what is it that you want?â He coos, free hand sliding up your stomach, thumb circling a pert nipple. Grinning he leans down tugging on your earlobe with this teeth, breaths fanning against your ear as he continues to speak. âWant me to fill this pretty pussy up with my cock? Feeling you flutter against me, whimpering out my name from those beautiful lips. Is that what youre asking for my pretty little bunny?â
He grins eyes lithe with mischief as you continue to babble, words coming out in a jumbled mess of pleas and calls of his name. Fat tears stream down your cheeks, desperation for him consuming your entire being. Suoâs hand coming up to caress your cheek. Thumb swiping at the tears that cascaded down your face. âOh, sweet babyâ He purrs, slipping the same thumb past your lips, letting you taste the salty wetness of your tears. âCrying for me already? Weâve barely even started.â He giggles, hips lurching forward, slamming into you to the hilt with one swift movement of his hips. Groaning as your back arches from the bed, eyes rolling back with a scream of his name being forced from your lips. âAs much as Iâd love to hear you beg for it, ive been waiting for too long for you my princess.~â
Cat and Mouse/CNC
Your breaths come out in heavy pants, your heart racing in your chest, your feet slamming against the grassy terrain as you run as fast as your legs can carry you. The shadow of the figure on your tail looming behind you. You pushed further, weaving in and out of trees to shake your assailant. The dark wooded area was easy to get lost in. You had only paused your running for a moment, attempting to take in your soundings, looking for a route to escape. Attempting to catch your breath, you were sure you had lost him. Just as you were about to turn on your heel and take off once more your eyes shoot wide, feeling fingers of a large hand wrap themselves around your throat. Your attacker using their grip as leverage  to shove you roughly against a tree, the larger figure looms over yours. Tattooed fingers squeezing just enough to make gaining air flow a bit difficult. Lips grazing your ear as he leans down to your height. âGotcha~â
Endoâs piercing blue eyes lock with yours, leaning down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. Tongue invading your mouth, free hand coming up to cup your dripping cunt. Fingers circling your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. He smirks against your lips as you moan into his mouth. Pulling from you, he quickly removes your soiled panties, running his finger between your soaked slit. Bringing his finger to his lips taking in the way you taste, moaning around his fingers.
âFuck doll, you taste so fucking good. Already so fucking wet for me.â He uses his thumb to force your mouth open, spitting a glob of saliva between your parted lips. âGo on babydoll, taste yourself.â He chuckles as you instinctively swallow, turning you in his embrace so your bent over. Flipping up your skirt, he leans back to take all of you in, eyes hungrily wracking over your exposed sex. Parting your folds with a thumb, watching as your entrance contracts around nothing a large grin splits across his face as he lands a harsh slap against your ass. âGotta remind you who this belongs too huh? This cunt is mine princess.â
âââ°â´,*â
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Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! I already have a part two in mind for this, so keep an eye out. Until then, see you later!
#windbreaker smut#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#haruka sakura x reader#sakura haruka x reader#haruka sakura smut#sakura thirst#ren kaji smut#kaji ren x reader#ren kaji x reader#kaji x reader#suou x reader#suo smut#suo x reader#hayato suo smut#hayato suou x reader#suo hayato x reader#tomiyama choji x reader#choji x reader#choji tomiyama x reader#toma hiragi smut#hiragi toma x reader#toma hiragi x reader#hiragi smut#hiragi x reader#yamato endo x reader#endo x reader#yamato endo smut#wind breaker#sam writes
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sincerely yours. (12)
âł gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.Â
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+Â
tags/warnings. depression, mentions of cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships, illnesses
notes. 11k wc. finally. i wrote this with only one eye open so please don't mind the inconsistencies, i'm trying my best to tie any loose ends before we reach the ending. if the writing feels rushed, itâs bcos iâm just ready to wrap up this series đ
series masterlist -> episode thirteen
You thought everything that had happened last night was just a dream.Â
Because you had gotten used to the constant disappointments and vicissitudes of your life, sharing such domestic bliss with the person you loved had started to feel far-fetched for you. It had become an unachievable fantasy, a colorful delusion created by your mind to conceal the actual darkness of pain that surrounded it.Â
But as you opened your eyes that morning, the familiar warmth of a sleeping Satoruâs embrace was the reality you never saw coming. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the comfort of his arms around you, it all felt surrealâlike a fragile dream teetering on the edge of shattering. You wondered if it would be okay to stay here for now. To forget about the rest of the damn world and remain in his arms, staring at his beautiful saintly face, listening to his slow and steady heartbeat.
When Satoru stirred from his sleep, you knew your daydream was over. But he was pulling you dangerously close with arms wrapped around your frame and his lips pressed against your forehead. He was only half-awake, it seemed. His long white lashes reminded you of Sachiroâs as you watched him mumble incoherent words from his sleep, something along the lines of, âIâm sorryâ and âAkemiâ.Â
That was your cue to pull yourself away from him. With guilt now coursing through your body, you sat up from bed and covered your naked body with the duvet. Akemi. You had completely abandoned the thought of Akemi last night, and now you were here in bed with âsupposedlyâ her man. As much as your heart was in bliss from last nightâs events, the dark and cold reality was that you slept with a man who wasnât yours. It was a principle you told yourself you would never cross, but everything concerning Satoru Gojou seemed to be bringing you to that.Â
âSatoru, hey.â Your voice almost came out as a plea as you shook his arm, your guilt eating at you with every minute that passed. âWake up.âÂ
His eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to open his eyes, blinded by the sunlight that gleamed through the window as he stretched his arms and looked at you. âY/N?â he softly whispered, a hand tenderly placed on your back as he scooted closer. âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
Slight disbelief blanketed your gaze. âYou think this isnât wrong?âÂ
Satoru let out a sigh of exasperation, pulling his head back, and covering his eyes with a hand as if last nightâs events played through his mind scene to scene. He was obviously caught in a mindwreck thinking about the girl he had just cheated on. âIt shouldnât be,â he mumbled, âBut it feels like it.â
âSo you do regret it,â you laughed at your own words, internally in pain.Â
âI didnât say that.â He finally pulled himself back up, sitting as he pulled you towards him. âY/N, if we really thought last night was wrong, we would have stopped after the first time.â He shook his head at the irony. âLook, itâs on me, alright? I put you in this situation.âÂ
âAnd I allowed it,â you argued, âI allowed it, Satoru. It makes me feel dirty. I feel like, like Iâm wrecking someone elseâs home. Itâs not me.âÂ
Satoru held his breath, a look of hesitation dawning on his face as he realized that this wasnât just a dream of his. It was pure and raw reality that he had made a mistake that he could never undo. While thinking it through, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, leaning against the headboard as he assessed the situation. Then, he looked at you, his expression softening as he spoke, âNo, not your fault. Itâs just complicated,â he insisted, âYou didnât do anything wrong. Iâm the one who owes âKemi an apology.âÂ
Each time you heard her nickname from him was a punch to your gut. And each silent cuss that left his lips was an arrow to your heart. So you put it on yourself to accept his reaction. âItâs okay. You can be honest and say last night was a mistake.â
âNo, no, no. I didnât say that,â he replied quickly, reaching out to take your hand.Â
But you already stood up from the bed, clutching the duvet around your body like a shield against the encroaching chill. Your throat felt tight, and tears threatened to spill, but you fought to keep them at bay. Satoruâs gaze followed you with an expression of helplessness, as if he was struggling to bridge the gap between his rights and wrongs.
As you turned to face him, a knot of frustration and heartache tangled within you. âSo, what now?â you asked, trying your hardest to keep your composure. âHow are we gonna fix this, Satoru? How?â
Before he could answer, the door to the cabin suddenly burst open, and Akemi stood in the doorway with her eyes wide with shock and fury. The confrontation followed as soon as she caught you in a compromising position with Satoru, and the words she uttered next were ones you least expected from her.Â
âYouâre a hypocrite! Youâve become the person you despised the most when you were married.âÂ
âYouâre no better than Sera! And thatâs why youâre miserable, and youâll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me..âÂ
âThen jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. Heâll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!â
You felt like an outsider in your own heartbreak, the confrontation intensifying as you tried to process the bitter truth in silence. All you could do was stand there and cry. Even Satoruâs attempts to placate Akemi were futile as her anger only seemed to grow. The more her eyes danced back and forth between you and her lover, the more she wanted to destroy everything in her path.
Satoruâs face was indiscernible from where you stood. âAkemi, please, just listenââ
Akemi, however, was already turning on her heel and storming back into her cabin while eliciting loud, muffled sobs. Your chest tightened with sorrow and shame. Complete, utter shame of doing this to another woman. How could you even correct a situation like this? How could you pick yourself back up after you just trampled on another womanâs feelings because of your actions?
Satoru, like you, hesitated on his next move, his eyes meeting yours with a look of anguish. âI need to talk to her, Y/N. Iâll be back.â
Without waiting for your response, he already bolted after her, leaving you alone in a quiet, pathetic state. The door slammed behind him, the sound reverberating through the cabin like thunder in a heavy storm.
You didnât know what to do, didnât know how to face everyone, didnât have the guts to even talk to Shoko and Suguru who now both have to deal with such scandals. You were too ashamed of yourself, as if your femininity had been stripped off its rights after you slept with the man you swore you would never get back with.Â
âI didnât mean it,â you could only silently whisper your laments, pacing around your cabin while swallowing the weakness that tried to escape. âI hate this.âÂ
The minutes dragged on, and each second stretched into an eternity as you waited for Satoruâs return. For now, you sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, wondering what excuse he was telling Akemi, and what actions he would do to try and calm her down. Did he kiss her, perhaps? Did he cup her face and tell her that you were nothing but a mistake? What was taking him so long? Or were they doing things to try and erase the same deeds you two did last night?Â
The cacophony of voices and commotion from outside the cabin grew louder, and your curiosity led you to open your door, meeting the eyes of one of the hotel staff who sent you a look full of judgment.Â
âWhereâsâŚâ you hesitated if she was the right person to ask, âWhereâs Satoru? Would you know?âÂ
âOh, maâam. He already left the hotel half an hour ago⌠with Miss Akemi.âÂ
Her answer hit you hard like a truck on a highway. And your heart dropped as you realized who became The Fool in these deck of cards. Satoru had not only run off after Akemi, but had also left you behind without a word.Â
The room felt colder now, the once-intimate sanctuary you shared with your ex-husband now a prison of your own grief. Even the familiar warmth of the bed seemed like a distant memory as you approached it, your body trembling as you thought of how you were treated like a dirty rag, thrown away after being used over and over again.Â
With a soft, choked sob, you collapsed onto the bed, the duvet still a tangled mess from earlier. And your emotions, so tightly restrained, finally broke free. You pulled the blanket around you as if it could shield you from the crushing pain. The betrayal, the sense of being discarded for anotherâit all converged into a torrent of anguish. All you could do was cling to the duvet as if it were the only anchor in a stormy sea.Â
ââ
Returning home didnât make the situation any better.Â
Although you tried to tell yourself that you shouldnât be waiting on Satoru to contact you, you still found yourself checking your phone multiple times a day. Each second that passed without hearing from him was another stab to your heart. But it shouldnât feel like that. It shouldnât, not when Satoru clearly made his choice of choosing yet another woman over you.Â
Of course, you knew what you did was wrong. In everyoneâs eyes, sleeping with someone elseâs man was unforgivable. There was no excuse, no way to justify your actions. Even if some people might side with you, saying you owed no one loyalty, it didnât change how you felt about the whole situation. And that was because you remembered all too well the pain of being cheated on, and letting another woman endure the same heartbreak and betrayal was a weight on your conscience that you couldnât ignore.
Sighing, you turned to the left side of the bed and saw Sachiro sleeping peacefully, clutching his favorite starfish plushie in his tiny arms. The thought of losing your son was unbearable, especially when he was your only source of calm amid the chaos that surrounded you. Caring for him was your solace, and his innocent presence served as a band-aid for your wounded heart. The most heart-wrenching part of this was knowing you couldnât even repay him for the stability he brought you. Sachiro deserved a complete family to enrich his life, yet youâas his own biological motherâwere unable to give him that.Â
âSleep tight, Sachi.â You lightly stroked his white hair before planting a soft kiss on his cheek. âDonât let the bed bugs bite.â
The past few weeks had been a blur of emotions, work, and parentingâwith each day blending into the next like a tornado of dull colors. You still hadnât heard from Satoru, but the days of waiting and checking your phone for any notification from him did gradually stop. The only thing that didnât stop replaying in your head like a broken record was the cabin incident, the very night that drew all these overthinking in your mind and in your heart.Â
Returning to work did provide some distraction, but it didnât take away the sting. It also didnât help that your staff noticed the change in your demeanor, and how distracted you often were during your meetings and warehouse visits. Even Nobara was worried about how absentminded you had become, but you brushed off all their concerns with a forced smile. After all, staying at home would do you worse than being at work.Â
Now, you were back in your office, and the soft knock on the door cut you off from your trance. It was Yuki peeking through the small opening on your door, her usual professional demeanor softened by a concerned expression. âHey, Y/N. Do you have a minute?â she asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind her with a quiet click.Â
You nodded, trying to muster a smile. âSure, Yuki. Whatâs up?â
âI wanted to check in on you,â she began, taking a seat opposite your desk, âIf you need to extend your vacation, please, by all means, go ahead. Itâs off-season, anyway. Iâll take care of everything here while youâre focusing on yourself.â
That wasnât really a good idea. And you shouldnât be slacking off work when this very fashion house you establish used to be your passion, not your job. Yet here you were, losing all the inspiration to even run a business. âI donât know if I have the energy for anything else right now.â
âWell, if youâre too worried about leaving work,â Yuki continued, her tone shifting to a more business-like note, âthe progress weâve made with Hearte is looking really promising. The new collection is getting great feedback, and our upcoming showcase is shaping up well. Weâre on track for a strong quarter.â
âAll because of you, Yuki.â A spark of gratitude appeared on your face. âThanks for the update. Itâs good to know things are moving in the right direction.â
She then stood up and gave you a reassuring smile. âIâm here if you need anything, Y/N. But seriously, take some time for yourself. You deserve it.â
On that same evening, you came home to your fatherâs mansion, and the first thing that greeted you when you entered the foyer was Gen sitting by the living room. And needless to say, her expression was a mix of concern and frustration as if she had been waiting for you to return. You werenât really in the mood to have some back-and-forths with her, but you also didnât like how she dropped her phone on the table and crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing at you like she was a mother who could scold you like a child.
âIâm not even gonna say anything at this point, but did you really do it with him?â Genâs voice was low, but the disappointment was palpable. You could feel it from a few meters away.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â you bit back, your already-terrible mood swings shifting into an unhealthy direction.Â
Gen responded by pointing at her phone, gesturing for you to take a look at whateverâs on it. Reluctantly, you grabbed the device, and as you were scrolling through the screen, you stumbled upon a blind item circulating on social media. The words were vague but pointed, hinting at a scandalous encounter between two ex-spouses, both of whom were well-known figures. Great. Your heart stopped as you realized that the article was very much about you and Gojou.Â
The online comments were brutal, not like you werenât used to anonymous harassment anyway, but these ones were full of speculating and judging without knowing the full story. Everyone also seemed to be siding with âMs. Aâ instead of you as though the person behind the article was clearly trying to paint you as the villain. It was written for the purpose of destroying your reputation rather than any regular exposĂŠ, and whoever wrote it was definitely someone who disliked you.Â
Your shoulders slumped as you scrolled through hate comment after hate comment, a seemingly endless vitriol for someone they didnât even know, and avoided your sisterâs gaze knowing full well that seeing her expression would only make you feel worse.Â
âIs it true?â your sister asked like there was even an ounce of chance that it was simply a rumor. Unfortunately, it was anything but.Â
Sliding her phone back on the coffee table, you drew in a deep breath. âI canât undo it, Gen. It happened.âÂ
âSo, you did sleep with him? Am I hearing this right?â Gen sighed, rubbing her temples. âDo you have any idea what this could do to you? To Sachiro? People are ruthless, and now this blind item is all over the place and theyâre targeting you like a punching bag!â
Your mouth felt heavy, as if it was weighed down by an invisible burden, making it difficult to form words or speak. And before you could think of a response, Ian became your temporary savior as he walked in with a calm but serious mien. âIâve seen the post,â he said, holding up his phone. âItâs clearly defamatory, and we can take legal action. Iâll handle it.â
Even though Ian was a man of remarkable phlegm, you remained abashed, knowing that everyoneâs feasting at the juicy rumor that you slept with your ex-husband. Yet, the only thing you could do was to put on a front. To save face. To act like someone youâre not. âThank you, Ian. Iâd appreciate that.â
Anticipating another lecture from Gen about Satoru, you began retreating to your room with your footsteps bouncing desperately on the grand staircase. This conversation was done. You just werenât there to hear it anymore. However, as you climbed the stairs with a vacant mind, you could still hear your sister calling out to you.
âY/N!â she called, her voice now tinged with concern. âIâm not going to give you a hard time. We can sort this issue out. Maturely.â
âIâm good.â Sorry, Gen. It was the anxious-avoidant side of you speaking. You didnât want to discuss such a sensitive situation to anyone, even with your sister, because you werenât ready to face all the negativity it would put you through. You were already dealing with enough, and going through yet another emotional turmoil might actually put you to your deathbed at this point.Â
So, for now, isolating yourself from the world was the best choice.Â
And as soon as you entered your room, you saw Sachiroâs nanny tucking him into bed. All your worries and self-destructive thoughts vanished in an instant the moment you looked at your son. It was like the heavens gave you your personal angel, a cute little cherub who brought nothing but light and happiness to your life. He was your sunshine, your shooting star, your bundle of joy. Nothing in this world could erase the pessimist in you than little Sachiro.Â
âI got it from here.â You thanked the nanny and asked her to close the door before quickly joining your son in bed, wrapping him in a warm, comforting hugâmore for your own comfort than his.
âMama?â he asked, his voice unusually raspy, and his chest rising and falling heavily. âI mwiss you, mama!â
You pressed your lips onto his forehead. âI miss you too, my baby. How was daycare today?â
He seemed to struggle to speak too, but Sachiro still did his best to recount his day while he was trying to catch air in between his sentences. âTeacher ask Sachi to go home, mama. Sachi is tired.â
âBaby, are you okay? Are you sick?â Now, your motherly instincts kicked in immediately. You could tell something was wrong, so you reached for a thermometer from the bedside drawer to check his temperature, and listened to his breathing at the same time. âWhat happened to Sachi? Do you want Mommy to take you to the hospital?â
Sachiro shook his head and gave you a sleepy smile. âNo, mama. Sachi is just sweepy.â
When the thermometer beeped, you were relieved to see that his temperature was normal. âAre you having trouble breathing, my sweetheart?â You looked into his droopy eyes and gently placed your hand on his chest.Â
Once again, Sachiro shook his head. Maybe you were just overthinking. He often ran around the house or played in the bathtub before bed, which could explain why he seemed out of breath. It wasnât the first time it happened.Â
âOkay, Sachi. Go to sleep now. Close your eyes, baby.â
âNight night, mama.â
For now, you turned off the night lamp, and headed to the bathroom in silent and careful steps. It was quiet enough indeed, but in your head was an awful noise you couldnât escape. And stepping into the shower only increased the warfare in your mind, as it immediately brought images of Satoru and Akemi back in the cabin, the harsh comments from the article, and the lack of contact from your ex-husband which all overwhelmed you at once. By now, he would have already seen that article. Nanami or Miwa might have already alerted him about it. But the fact that he said nothing, the fact that he let the public scrutinize you, destroy you with such vile, hurtful words behind their screens brought you a kind of pain that you wouldnât wish upon anyone else.Â
Because if it was Akemi in that position, he would have defended her in a heartbeat.Â
So in your silence, under the cascading water of the shower, you let the tears flowâits warmth distinguishable compared to the cold droplets falling on you. If only you had successfully drowned yourself that night at the lake. If only Satoru didnât pull you back in, none of this would have happened.Â
That moment was deeply poignant to you, and you saw him in a new light you thought you would never see again because of the darkness of your past. Yet, with the events that followed your special moment, memories eventually turned into spite. Your sweet exchange twisted into something bitter. Looking back at that time when he kissed you at the lake now made you feel nauseous and hollow inside, with bile forming on your throat and threatening to be retched.Â
The most gut-wrenching part about this was the fact that there wasnât anyone left who could rescue you from this abyss of heartache anymore.Â
ââ
There had been a sense of detachment in your emotions in the following days that passed, almost as though they belonged to a stranger inhabiting your body. Toji, the only person who comforted you at times like these, was no longer by your side to fulfill the warmth you once desperately sought, and now you were alone to face this cruel, mind-numbing battle all by yourself. It was you against the world. You against the entire populace inhabiting this living hell. And with that many enemies against one, how could you win?Â
It was quite funny, actually, that your humor took a surprising turn when you thought of how Sera must have felt when it was revealed to the public that she was Satoruâs mistress. The irony didnât even stop at your thoughts alone, it manifested itself outside Hearteâs headquarters, wearing a pink puffer jacket and a white prairie skirt.Â
âSera?â you blurted out her name in wonder, nonplussed as you got out of the car to approach her.
âHey, Y/N.â She offered a casual smile while carrying an air of sophistication around her. That wasnât the only thing that changed about Sera. Her hair was also shorter than the last you saw her, her face now sporting a more natural makeup, and her outfit a more modest yet classy choice. It was no longer the Sera who tried hard to fit in amongst the upper echelon of society, but a Sera who seemed to be satisfied at her current standing in life.Â
What an awkward encounter. Was her presence your hypocritical reminder for sleeping with Satoru behind Akemiâs back?Â
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked.Â
And she answered with, âI read about what happened. You know, the thing on the internet.â She took a moment to pause, probably trying to choose the right words to say to her previous adversary. Because in a way, you two werenât exactly friends. And you were no longer rivals either. Satoru was the only common denominator here, and Sera proved her exact sentiments about him by saying, âI just wanted to let you know that I understand your side. Itâs a tough situation.â
You looked at her, searching for any hint of insincerity, but found none. âYou were once on my spot,â you pointed out and gauged whether or not she would take the bait. For all you know, she could be putting on an act. âIâm assuming youâre here to rub it in my face how much of a hypocrite I am.âÂ
âNo, thatâs not it.â Sera was vehemently denying any malice on her intentions, and was instead trying to show you the sympathy of a woman who was once caught in the same predicament. âLook, I know itâs weird that Iâm here out of all people. But the truth is, I just had to let you know that someoneâs on your side. Iâve met the girl, okay? That⌠whoever she is. I donât remember her name, and I hate having to pit two women against each other, but Iâm telling you itâs about time you cut Satoru off your life. Completely. She doesnât look like someone whoâd easily let go. Youâre just gonna suffer, Y/N.âÂ
Perhaps three years was too far back in your life and that tables could turn in a direction that you didnât expect, as you could recall fragments of memories from when your only dilemma was dealing with Satoru and Sera in your marriage. She used to be besotted with your ex-husband back then. But now, it wasnât until you heard the way she spoke about him that you realized she must be harboring a grudge deeper than you had imagined. After all, he did ruin her life in ways you couldnât imagine. And her advice, though unsolicited, made sense. Because you could understand where she was going with it. You could see the true intentions clearly conveyed by her face.
The only problem here was that you didnât have it in your heart to agree with her. You were too much of an empathic person to be taking sides, even if the supposed villain in this painting was the ex-husband who, time and time again, hurt you. Your heart stubbornly cared for Satoru deep down, and your wifely instinct of defending him no matter how poorly he acted had always been there. No one could hate Satoru more than you did, that was true, but you also werenât very accepting of hearing others describe him as this ruthless, cheating bastard.Â
That was the reason why talking to Gen had eventually exhausted you. Because no one knew the real Satoru Gojou behind his facade of an irresponsible and reckless husband.Â
âNow that youâre hereâŚâ The idea to redirect the conversation to another topic struck you, unwilling to engage in a conversation that pushed Satoru in a bad light. âWould you be interested in being a model for our upcoming campaign? Weâre launching a new collection, and I think youâd be perfect.â
Seraâs eyes were an amalgam of confusion and surprise. âUh, I mean⌠Iâd love to, but why so sudden?âÂ
âYou have the face for it.â You shrugged, but still sent a smile her way. âAre you working right now? If not, this could open doors for you to be discovered by modeling agencies. Iâm closely tied with them since I work in the fashion industry, so I can do a few calls if you want.âÂ
âHold on, Iâmââ Sera touched her head, laughing as if she were dreaming this conversation. âY/N, youâre doing too much here. I mean, Iâd obviously love that, but wouldnât it be awkward? People know me as your ex-husbandâs mistress, and if they recognize me in Hearte ads, Iâm sure as hell those fuck ass netizens wonât stop talking about it.â
She had a point, a very good point, but then again, your suggestion was only brought up because you had to change the topic. âWell, itâs just an offer to consider in the future.âÂ
âAnd I appreciate you always extending a hand to help me even if I did you wrong in the past,â she said, feelings of shame lacing her voice. âI havenât forgotten about what you did for my brother, thatâs why Iâm here. Iâm not your enemy anymore, Y/N.â
Just then, the roaring engine of a classic red Ferrari pulled up to the curb, interrupting the unexpected conversation you were having with your ex-husbandâs former mistress. The window rolled down to reveal a pink-haired man whom you recognized as Ryomen Sukuna, an up and coming tech mogul, that Toji had mentioned about many times before. His eyes were only on one woman alone, and it wasnât you. âReady to go, babe?â
Honestly, good for Sera. No wonder her aura had become different. They seemed to be in a stable committed relationship, something that you could only ever dream about. If karma was truly real, this was the perfect example for it.Â
In the back seat, you spotted a younger boy who looked exactly like Sukuna and, surprisingly, Megumi, the son of your ex-fiancĂŠ. Really? How many more people were you going to âcoincidentallyâ run into today?Â
âHello, miss!â the other boy called out cheerfully, while Megumi offered a polite nod. You replied with a wave, feeling a small sense of normalcy in their innocent presence.
âI gotta get going, Y/N,â excused Sera, gesturing a civil goodbye.Â
But as she moved to get into the car, your phone buzzed in your pocket. A single glance at the screen made your heart drop. It was a call from the hospital.
âHello?â you answered almost immediately, pressing the phone on your ears with a tight push.
âMs. Y/N, this is the hospital. Your son, Sachiro Gojou, is in the ICU. We need you to come as soon as possible.â
Your stomach contracted into a tight ball as you stood rigid with terror. Then and there, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. âWh-What do you mean heâs in the hospital?!â you managed to shout, swept by horripilation from the sudden news. âWhat happened to my son?! Whatâsâ!âÂ
Seraâs concerned gaze met yours as you desperately yelled into the phone, hyperventilating. Your trembling hand was threatening to drop the phone. âY/N, is everything okay?â
âMy son⌠I⌠heâŚ,â you stammered, your voice shaky with fear and urgency. Your muscles locked in a momentary paralysis, eyes wide with astonishment, and surprise rendering you immobile. The thought of Sachiro in a critical state was about to make you faint, with the last bits of images you saw that afternoon were of Sera and her boyfriend rushing to catch you from completely falling to the ground.Â
ââ
Megumi didnât know how to deliver the bad news.Â
He came home after Yuujiâs brother rushed you to the hospital, shocked by everything that happened in a span of a single day. His mind was aching from all the thinking he was doing; praying that little Sachiro will be fine, hoping that you would stay strong throughout, and lastly, wondering how he would break it to his dad that something terrible had happened.Â
His father wasnât exactly the greatest man to tread this Earth, especially not after the drunken words he had âmistakenlyâ uttered to you that night in Miami that resulted in your separation. Yes, Megumi knew every word and detail. His father told him everything just as a sober man would. Did you really think that the Toji Zenâin you knew would sputter that utter nonsense to you? That you had an empty soul. That he couldnât be with someone like you. That you would forever be a placeholder to Megumiâs mother. Bullshit. None of those were true. His father told him that the reason he had to say those words, as piercing and trenchant as they may be, was because it was the only way he could free you from being caged in a relationship your heart didnât genuinely want.Â
It was Tojiâs last resort to hurt you with his words, hoping that you would wake up from your false fantasy and finally have a reason to leave a relationship with a man that wasnât Satoru Gojou. If Megumiâs father wasnât at the top of the list of Forbesâ richest men in Japan, he would have felt a great deal of inferiority complex over a younger man like Gojou. Not because of his looks and his riches, but because he had you. No matter what Satoru did, no matter how many times he hurt you, he was and would always be that man you wanted to be with.Â
Sighing, Megumiâs first task upon coming home was to check on his fatherâs room, only to find the dark room void of its owner. When he made his way down the grand staircase, he met an ill-spirited Naoya who was ranting to Mai about Sera flaunting Sukuna in front of his face. Megumiâs sigh was then followed by another. The drama in this house was relentless. He felt like he was exhaling endlessly, like a malfunctioning appliance.Â
âWhereâs dad?â asked Megumi, directing her question to a more rational Maki.Â
The tall, green-haired girl gave him a knowing shrug. âYou already know,â she said, âDrowning himself in alcohol down at the bar.âÂ
As always.Â
Megumi jogged around the estate to eventually find his father at one of the wet bars near his home office. He was there, seated on a stool, his head drooping low with a glass of premium scotch in hand. How many glasses heâd had, Megumi could only hope the numbers weren't that high. But upon approaching his father, his presence was barely acknowledged as he sat on the stool next to him, suggesting that the grown man might be more inebriated than his son had expected.
âDad,â spoke the Zenâin heir, âDad, you good?âÂ
Toji lifted his head up, three sheets to the wind, as a smile crept up on his scarred lips. âSon.âÂ
âLet me take that.â Megumi grabbed a hold of the glass of scotch, sliding the strong liquor away from his father. âThereâs something I ought to tell you.âÂ
Toji stayed nonchalant, sitting upright and tapping his fingers on the counter. âWhatâs it about this time?â he asked. âIâve told you, I canât stop the elders from arranging your marriage unless youâre honest with me about someone you like. I know you have someone in mind, but youâre not saying who. Are you just shy?â
Megumi gave his father a look of exasperation. Heâs rambling, he thought, frustrated with his fatherâs inebriated chattering. âItâs not about that. Itâs about Y/N-san.â
The mention of your name was the only thing that made Toji's demeanor shift to one of genuine concern. âWhat happened?â
âSachiâs in a critical condition,â the younger Zenâin went straight to the point, âY/N-san went manic over it and fainted before we could get her to the hospital.â
Toji was quick to grab his coat and car keys, as if all the alcohol in his system had immediately evaporated. But before he could leave, Megumi caught his fatherâs arm and pulled him back.Â
âWhat?â said Toji, concern and urgency blanketing his gaze. âI need to be with her.âÂ
âDo you really need to?â Megumi countered. âDad, I know itâs not right for me to stop you in this crucial situation, but are you gonna do this every time sheâs in trouble? Do you plan to do this forever? Do you plan to keep drowning yourself in alcohol thinking about her? We care for her like family, thatâs true, but you and her arenât a thing anymore. Your responsibilities in taking care of her should stop, too. You, yourself, said itâd be best if she stopped being reliant on you. Now, do yourself a favor and stop trying to be this pathetic superhero.âÂ
The concern etching on Tojisâs face softened into a sense of realization, a sense of candidness that only someone as straightforward as his own son could evoke. Megumi had to, not because he didnât care for you anymore, but because he had to ensure he wouldnât lose his father over a relationship that had already ended. Toji was the only real family Megumi had left.Â
âStay, dad,â he pleaded, âPlease.â
Toji took a deep breath and released it in the same second. âOkay,â he softly said, ruffling his sonâs hair. âI wonât leave.âÂ
ââ
Why is it that you keep attracting things, places, and people that you disliked the most?Â
You hated hospitals, and you had spoken about it enough to make it clear how much you dreaded going to a place where your worst memories had taken root. Yet, the sterile environment seemed to beckon you, dragging you back with a new nightmare each time. It was beyond your worst fears that you would find yourself racing through the halls mere minutes after regaining consciousness, desperately trying to reach where your son was.
Please be okay. Please be okay.Â
Frantically, you scanned the corridors, searching for the ICU and hoping that what you had just heard was nothing more than a cruel illusion, that this was all just a nightmare. You werenât a deeply devout person, but you did send prayers to every saint you could think of, hoping that Sachiroâs current state wasnât in the median between life and death.Â
Because if you lost your son, then there was no point in living anymore. This life wouldnât be worth enduring.Â
âY/N!â
You werenât the first one to arrive outside the pediatric ICU, with Gen and your father already being there moments before you came. You were struggling to breathe by the time you reached them, feeling your heart race with a thunderous beat. âGen⌠Dad, what h-happened to him?â You couldnât stop the weakness in your voice. âTell me heâs fine, please. Please. My baby. If anything h-happens to him, Iâm g-gonna die, Gen! I c-canât h-have that!â
Gen quickly enveloped you in a tight embrace, trying to offer any form of comfort she could. âIâm so sorry, Y/N. Dad and I are just as shocked.â She held you closer, her voice trembling as she, too, was just as anxious as you. âSachi refused to eat and complained about having a hard time breathing. He was so pale and his lips were blue. We knew we had to rush him to the hospital immediately.â
âOh my God.â Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to stifle the uncontrollable cries that were escaping. The news of Sachiro developing cyanosis shattered your heart, and the crushing reality that you werenât there to take care of him tore you apart. âMy baby, no. No, no. H-Heââ
âY/N!âÂ
Out of breath and also visibly shaken was the father of your son, Satoru, who came running to your side the moment his eyes landed on you. Behind him was his mother, clutching a rosary in her hand as both of them were seemingly shell-shocked in the same magnitude as you and your family were. Everyone cared for Sachiroâs well-being, everyone prayed for his safety, and the thought of losing an angel like your son was a soul-crushing thought that sent you slipping into a chasm of suffering. Â
âWh-What happened to Sachi?â Satoru asked in desperation, his question raised to everyone in the vicinityâyou, your family, the nurses. But no one could give him a decent answer. âPlease, tell me my sonâs alright. Tell me.âÂ
You watched him walk in circles, raking his fingers through his hair as if he was seeking anything to hold onto. And you, feeling that magnet that pulled you closer to him, broke away from Genâs embrace to look at your sonâs father. âSatoruâŚâÂ
âY/N,â his voice cracked as he met your gaze, âOur son.â He stopped, ready to wrap you in a hugâa moment of solace you both desperately needed in this critical time. But just as he pulled you close in a fragile attempt to find comfort together, the door to the ICU swung open, abruptly ending the brief respite.
All of you immediately rushed over to the doctor, the sterile white walls and the distant hum of hospital machinery did nothing to calm the turmoil inside you.Â
âDoctor, howâs he?âÂ
âHowâs my grandson, doc?â
âDoc, my son, is he okay?âÂ
âIs he stable, doc?âÂ
âDoctor, howâs my son, please?â you asked, your body growing tense to the point of shaking.
The doctor took a deep breath, his expression serious amidst the fusillade of questions thrown at him. âWeâre currently running a series of tests on the patient. We suspect Sachiro may have congenital heart disease, specifically a ventricular septal defect with associated pulmonary hypertension.â
No, it canât be. Itâs not possible! The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You struggled to process the information, your vision blurring with tears and your heart drumming a rapid staccato inside. You didnât need to look at everyone to know that they all, for a moment, looked at you. âHeart disease? But⌠how? I didnât thinkââ
âCan you explain more, doc? Please.â Gojou was desperate, his bright blue eyes now dull and severely clouded with a brewing storm. It was as if he was keeping himself from crying.
The doctor continued gently, âVSD is a condition where thereâs a hole in the heartâs ventricular septum. It can lead to pulmonary hypertension, which means the blood pressure in the lungs is elevated. Itâs a serious condition, but weâre doing everything we can to assess the extent and provide the best treatment.â
âN-No, oh God. My baby.â You felt your knees go weak, and you sank down against the wall, with more tears cascading down your cheeks like waterfall. The weight of the diagnosis was crushing, but the hardest part was realizing that this was something you had unknowingly passed on to Sachiro. The heart disease was inherited from you and had now manifested in your beloved son.
Itâs my fault. Itâs my fault!Â
The doctor placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. âWeâll keep you updated as soon as we have more information. Please, try to stay calm, Y/N. Itâs not best for your heart to panic right now. Sachiro is in good hands.â
You were unable to speak through the sobs that wracked your body. The hospital corridor felt endless, and you couldnât shake the feeling of guilt and helplessness that consumed you. You could feel all eyes on you, judging, harboring hatred, carrying deep-rooted resentment. You were torn apart by the knowledge that the very thing you had feared most was now a reality for your son.
âItâs⌠Itâs my fault,â you sobbed, covering your face with your quivering hands, âThis is all my fault. I gave it to Sachiro, I⌠Iâm a terrible mother!âÂ
Gen knelt beside you, her hands gripping your shoulders with a firm yet gentle touch. âY/N, stop it. This is not your fault. You didnât choose this for Sachiro.â
Your father, who had been pacing anxiously nearby, joined in. âYour sisterâs right. Youâre blaming yourself for something beyond your control. Weâre all here for you. Weâll figure this out.â
But amidst your familial exchange, Satoru stood nearby, frozen and listless. His silence only added to the overwhelming distress. Was he also blaming you for what Sachiro was going through right now? Was he also angry at you for putting his son into this critical situation?Â
Suddenly, a familiar voice cut through the commotionâvoice that was equally harsh and spiteful. It was Satoruâs mother, boring her fiery eyes into your skull as she opened her mouth. âThatâs right! Youâre self-aware, arenât you?â she spat and stood rigidly, arms crossed defensively over her chest. âThis is all your fault. Youâre such an irresponsible mother! You canât even take care of my grandson properly, and now youâve passed your disease onto him!â
You looked up in shock, seeing Satoruâs mother standing there with a disdainful expression. The sting of her words felt like a knife twisting in your heart, because they were true. They were painful, yes, but they were true. And all you could do was lower yourself until you were sitting on your haunches, trying to make yourself as small as possible.Â
âExcuse me?!â Gen stood up, her eyes blazing with anger that came from the deepest pits of hell. âYouâre unbelievable, Auntie. How dare you speak to my sister like that! You have no right to blame her for this. I hope to God it was you in the ICU right now instead of Sachiro!â
âYouâŚ!âÂ
Satoruâs mother raised a hand to slap Gen, but your father stepped forward, his face a mix of disbelief and indignation. âThis is despicable. How can you stand here and say such things to someone whoâs already suffering? Werenât you friends with my wife once?â
Satoru, who had been standing still, suddenly moved with a menacing calm. His face was hard as stone, and his eyes narrowed in anger. What was scarier was him approaching his mother with a threatening stance. âAre you really this pathetic, mother?â Satoru questioned with a cold, cutting tone. âDo you get off on making Y/N suffer? Do you think youâve gotten away with slapping her behind my back? You donât get to blame Y/N for anything. Any fucking thing!â
His motherâs eyes widened in shock, but she tried to defend herself at the ruthless stance her son was carrying. All of you were stunned at the realization of how Satoru resembled his cruel father at that moment. âB-But Satoru, my sonââ
âShut up!â Satoru cut her off, his voice harsh and unforgiving, before he threw his cold knuckles against the hard surface of the concrete wall. âI donât want to see your face ever again! Donât consider yourself my mother any longer, you witch. Youâve lost that privilege.â
This took a wild turn, and hearing the brutality of Satoruâs words was like a thunderclap in the tense atmosphere. His motherâs face turned pale, her mouth opening and closing in shock as she struggled to respond.
âGet out of here,â Satoru commanded, his voice uncaring towards her. âLeave, and donât ever come back. Youâre nobody to me now.â
With that, Satoruâs mother turned and fled, stumbling down the corridor as if she was the victim in this situation. However, the tension in the air began to dissipate as soon as she left, leaving you, Satoru, Gen, and your father in a heavy silence. Only your sniffles could be heard.Â
Even Gen, who was often hostile around your ex-husband, had remained quiet and composed after she watched him take such drastic measures to keep his mother away.
Everyone was silent. Pure, unbothered silence until Satoruâs phone began to buzz loudly, cutting through the stillness of the hallway. For a moment, he closed his eyes, then he fished his phone out of his pocket where you caught a glimpse of the caller ID.Â
Akemi.Â
ââ
The ICU only allowed short visits and one person at a time, so there was no need for everyone to stay the night. You were the parent, you were the one responsible for your sonâs situation, so you insisted it was best for your dad and Gen to go home and get some rest. You didnât mind watching over your son for the whole night, because coming home without him was the last thing you would do right now.
My precious angel.
Sachiro lay in the hospital bed, his small chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The doctors had managed to stabilize him for now, and the sight of his heart monitor showing a stable rhythm was a small comfort amidst the chaos.
Still, you sat by his bedside, mindful of your timed visit as your hands gently held his tiny ones, feeling the warmth of his small fingers. You glanced down at the medical report on your other hand, trying to make sense of the complex terms and figures.
The words blurred together as your tears fell silently onto the paper. âIâm sorry, baby.â He didnât deserve this. Heâs just a baby. âMommyâs very sorry.â
You tried to stay strong, putting on a brave face for your son, but inside, you were falling apart. It was impossible not to blame yourself over this, wishing you could do more than just be present around him. This was the comeuppance of your own actions after you focused on your own emotions for the past few weeks to the point of neglecting your sonâs wellbeing. If you had been more present in his life, if you had been more observant, you would have easily noticed the signs. Now, you allowed Satoru to find a flaw in your duty as a mother, and he could cite this very event as evidence to get full custody of him. That is, if he were to ever consider taking your son away from you.Â
But in the first place, he should be the last person to do that, because where exactly was he now?Â
Your thoughts kept drifting back to the earlier scene, where he excused to answer Akemiâs call, and later that night told you he had to leave and âcheck somethingâ urgently. He promised heâd be back before midnight, but where was he?Â
Resentment began to fester within you.
You had been very perceptive of Akemiâs feelings, apologetic in the way you supposedly betrayed her, but the fact that she was still scrambling for Satoruâs attention in the midst of your sonâs hospitalization was something you could never forgive her for.Â
And as for Sachiroâs father, how could he prioritize another woman when his own son was in such a critical state? The confusion of his actions was overwhelming. It felt like a cruel deja vu that, at a time when you needed him the most, he was choosing to be elsewhere. You could accept it if it was a choice between you and another woman, but between his son and her? His behavior was unacceptable, disgusting even, and it only served to deepen your grudge against him.
You clenched your fists, trying to push away the surge of anger that threatened to consume you after seeing that the disparity in his actions felt like both a betrayal and a slap to the face. Your poor son. You stared at Sachiroâs peaceful face and stroked his cheek. How could Satoru be so indifferent to his own flesh and blood?
The room was silent except for the soft beeping of the heart monitor and your quiet sobs. The situation was almost too much to bear, and your resentment towards Gojou grew heavier by the second. Each minute felt like a lifetime, and the emptiness left by his absence was a constant reminder that yet again he chose another woman over his own family.
Itâs okay. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. I wonât leave you, Sachi. For Sachiroâs sake, you needed to find the strength to carry on, to be the mother he needed in this moment of crisis and never again failing to be there for your only child.Â
At exactly 10:30 pm, the nurse came in and told you visiting hours were over. You complied.Â
At 11:00 pm, Ian paid you a quick visit and talked to the nurses, perhaps giving them reminders to look after you.Â
At 12:00 am, you were alone again. Seated at one of the benches outside the ICUâsleepless, starving, and nauseous.Â
At 2:00 am, you remained in your seat despite the sterile smell of antiseptic mingling with your own discomfort. The flickering fluorescent lights above did little to help you get some proper sleep. The cold air-conditioning alao made you shiver slightly, hugging your own body to try and give yourself some warmth.Â
At 4:00 am, you awakened from the noise of the movements beside you. Realizing you had fallen asleep, you looked up and saw Satoru taking a seat to your left. His coat was draped over his arm, and he offered it to you.
âAre you cold?â he asked, his voice softer than usual, but you could see the bags under his eyes suggesting the sleepless nights heâd had for the past few days. âYou can use my coat.â
You took the coat, but as you caught a whiff of it, a familiar scent of Akemiâs perfume lingered. Rose Prick by Tom Ford. It was a scent youâd come to recognize after your years of being her best friend, and it made your stomach turn slightly. Without any hesitation, you handed the coat back to him. âNo, thank you. Iâm fine,â you replied, avoiding his gaze. Looking into his eyes was the last thing you would do.Â
And you knew Satoru was sighing, but didnât press the issue. âThe nurse mentioned you havenât eaten today.â He pulled out a small bag of assorted fruits, placing it gently on the seat between you. You eyed the offerings, feeling a pang of hunger but also a strange aversion. âI bought some fruit. Is there anything you like?â
You took a deep breath and broke the silence with a hint of sarcasm. âYouâre really good at this, huh?â
âAt what?â was his immediate question, puzzled.
âHitting two birds with one stone.â
âY/NâŚâ
âStop trying to take care of me,â you interrupted, your tone sharper than intended. â I donât need it.â
âButââ
You swallowed the lump in your throat. âYou canât even be here for Sachi. You canât even choose your son. Heâs in a life and death situation and weâre still only receiving scraps of your attention.â It was the deep-seated grudge spilling out of you. âYouâre so good at abandoning people, huh? Even though thatâs what you hate the most. Youâre so good at disappearing without even a text or call to check on me and our son. After that night at the cabin, you justâŚâ you paused, realizing that you were opening too much of your heart to a man who didnât deserve it. âForget it. Just go home to Akemi. Live a happy life, build a family with her. Forget us. I donât care. Iâll take care of Sachiro myself. Iâve done it for three years!â
âY/N, Iâm not trying to hurt you. I justâŚâ Satoru fumbled for words, his somber blue eyes bearing the history of your shared heartbreak. It was as though the painful memories of your past were flooding his thoughts, seeking justification as to why he couldnât pick you again this time. âI had to be there for her. SheâsâŚâ
You turned away before he could see your expression, because your heart was splintering at the thought of Satoru Gojou shattering it once more. As he always did. There seemed to be no end to this relentless heartbreak, as if any hope of a happy ever after with the man you loved would only return a pain that was a hundred times worse. Perhaps, this was destinyâs way of telling you that you and him werenât meant to be. That any wishful thinking of being with Satoru again was only something that you could expect in another universe.
So, in your defense, you had to pull on a facade. A mask that you had to wear in the face of being the target of never-ending despair. âSatoru, I donât want to talk about it,â you said firmly, concealing the raw ache in your voice with a smile. âAnd I donât expect you to choose me every time. Itâs okay. Itâs happened before.â
âCanât you see Iâm hurting, too?â he asked, his voice breaking. Though you couldnât see his face, the tremor in his voice revealed his struggle to hold back tears.Â
You couldnât understand why he would be hurting with his decision. When faced with two crossroads, he always seemed to pick the path that led away from you. So instead of trying to comprehend his pain, you decided it was time to honor your own. For your sake. For Sachiroâs.Â
âLetâs just forget about that night,â you declared, wiping your eyes as you got up from your seat and prepared to walk away. âFrom this day forward, letâs pretend it never happened.â
ââ
Akemiâs apartment was dark when Satoru stepped inside.Â
And to be honest, the darkness was a relief. At least, she wouldnât be able to see the lassitude etched on his face, not just from juggling his time between his son and her, but from the constant ache of hurting the person he loved.
Miscommunication is a coupleâs greatest enemy, and the persistent disconnect between you two, coupled with the reluctance to clear things up, had worn Satoru down. He wanted to end thisâthe feeling of helplessness and the torment of seeing the woman he cared for caught in a labyrinth of despair.
The hospital visits to Sachiro alone had been a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities, and this brief visit to Akemi felt like an unwelcome detour, but one he couldnât avoid. Satoru knew his heart wanted to stay in the hospital with you, to wait for any updates on his son, to hold your hand and care for you, yet here he was, dragging his feet across the carpeted floors to approach Akemi.Â
âHey.â She was sitting on the couch, looking frail but alert as if she had been desperately waiting on his arrival. She had recently started treatment for her stage 3 endometrial cancer, and Satoru could see the toll it was taking on her, physically and emotionally. He would be cruel to leave her hanging like this, to neglect her at her worst when she had been there by his side at his. Satoru had an unspoken accountability on her, because it wouldnât be fair for him to just abandon her after she poured all her heart and soul into helping Gojou get back onto his own feet. Â
âHey, âKemi,â he said, his tone soft but distant. âDid you take your meds today?â
Akemi looked up at him, her eyes tired and heavy. âI did. I took them just like the doctor said. Howâs Sachiro?â
Gojouâs expression tightened. âHeâs holding steady at the moment.â
A heavy silence settled between them before Akemi broke the tension. âIâm glad heâs stable,â she said, quietly. âAre you okay?â
He nodded once, his mind already drifting back to the hospital. âYeah. Listen, I need to head back soon. Nanami and Miwa will be alternating in looking after you from now on. Theyâll make sure youâre okay while Iâm dealing with Sachiro. I have to focus on my son.â
Akemiâs frail hand reached out to gently grip his arm, the other held her lower abdomen in pain. âSatoru, please donât go just yet. Canât you stay a little longer?â
Nowâs not the time to feel guilty. It was either her or Sachiro. Her or his son. Gojou decided to pull his arm away gently, his gaze distant. âSachiro needs me, Akemi. You know that.â
Akemiâs face fell, but she knew it would be ridiculous to argue over that. âNo, I understand. I get that. I want you to focus on Sachi, too. I just wishââ Before she could finish, her voice faltered, and she looked up at him with a hesitant gaze. âSatoru, do you regret that I took you back even if you cheated on me?â
The question caught him off guard, and Satoruâs blue eyes narrowed as he processed her words. He had been so focused on his responsibilities and the immediate crisis that he hadnât given much thought to their ârelationshipâ. All he knew was when he showed up at her doorstep back at the cabin, he was only going to try and end things with her. He was only going to clarify the longstanding feelings you and him poured out to each other that night, which was why he ended up sleeping with his ex-wife. But because Akemi suffered at the time, because her pelvic pain worsened to the point of an emergency, he had to hold back and just take care of her in the weeks that passed. He was caged in this situation like a prisoner who was found guilty for the crimes he had committed.
Just be honest, Satoru. Disregard everything else and just be honest. Satoru believed it was about time he stood his ground no matter the consequences. âYou canât take me back if weâre not together, âKemi,â he breathed out those words, reticent on hurting her with the truth. If she would lash out on him, throw a vase on his head, slam a book on his faceâhe wouldnât mind. He was ready to accept all the violence he deserved from being an asshole. âYou knew from the start that this, us, was only temporary. It was never supposed to be serious.âÂ
Her expressions turned doleful. âThen, in that case, did you at leastâŚâ Tears welled up in her eyes as she she paused, âDid you at least love me?â
âI just⌠I never saw it that way, Akemi.â Satoruâs honesty would destroy her, but he didnât want to keep on sending out false hopes. He had to be firm, and while he was grateful for everything she did for him, that doesnât mean he owed her his life and loyalty. In the first place, he warned her that he wasnât ready to be in a relationship. And God, he was far from ready to even settle down, yet Akemi constantly hinted at wanting to tie the knot with him. Again and again did she mention the thought of a wedding and a child and her own family.Â
Satoru wanted all those things too, but with another person in mind. He was only set on having those things with one woman.
Akemiâs face paled upon hearing his answer and the fact that he didnât even bother to explain himself. âI see. I guess I needed to hear that.â
Gojou looked at her with a mix of regret and sympathy. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry for hurting you like this, I really do.â
âItâs fine. Donât worry about it.â
It definitely wasnât fine, but Satoru had to take her word for it as he got out from the couch and gave her a gentle pat on the head. âI have to go. Nanami will be here soon. Please make sure to follow the treatment plan and take care of yourself.â
Akemi nodded, though her gaze remained fixed on the floor, unable to meet his eyes. âAlright. Iâll see him when he gets here.â
As Gojou turned to leave, he felt a pang of guilt twisting deep in his gut but pushed it aside. He was a father first before anything else. Sachiro would always be his first and foremost priority amongst everything else.Â
ââ
After leaving Akemiâs place, Satoru was driving his car into the evening air beyond the speed limit. And his mind was racing together with him as he thought of you, your son, and the myriad of emotions he was struggling to manage. He couldnât wait to be home, not literally at his own place, but anywhere with you and his son was his definition of home.Â
It would be diabolical for him to run into your arms and yell, âIâm free! We can be together again!â No, that would be cruel and disgusting. He respected Akemi just as he respected you. It was himself that he couldnât respect, because he was the one responsible for the mess that he created. And adding Sachiroâs critical condition on top of the already festering wounds in your relationship? It truly was the manifestation of karma in his actions.Â
His footsteps bounced through the hospital corridors the moment he arrived, each impatient step was ready to see your face and tell you he would never leave you and Sachiro now. But as he neared the pediatric ICU, his eyes darted around, the sight of his ex-wife was nowhere to be found. And instinctively, his heart pounded in his chest, and a drum of panic seemed to warn him of a storm that was about to come. Something was off, and it scared him.Â
âNurse,â he called out, his voice edged with urgency as he approached their station. âWhereâs my wife? The boyâs mother?â
The nurse looked up, recognizing the infamous CEOâs face. âUh, Mr. Gojou, she was heading to the rooftop, I think.â
âWhat?!â he unintentionally yelled at her face, âWhy didnât you guys keep an eye on her?âÂ
âSir, calm down. Sheâs probably going to get some fresh air.â
A cold chill ran down his spine. You were definitely not there for that.Â
Without another word, he sprinted towards the stairs, taking them two at a time instead of waiting at an elevator together with a group of people. He had to get to you as soon and as fast as he could without another second to waste. Although the climb felt endless, his mind racing with fear and dread was the push he needed to finally reach you.Â
And upon bursting through the door to the rooftop, he was met with the soft whisper of the evening wind and the heart-stopping sight of you standing perilously close to the edge.
âY/N!â he called out, his voice breaking with desperation. âDonât do this. Please, step back.â
You stood motionless, eyes fixed on the distant horizon, the city lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of sorrow. âThe world hates me, Satoru,â you whispered, the mellow tone of your voice carried away by the wind. âIâm a burden to everyone, even my own child. I-I just⌠I want to end it all.â
âNo!â Satoruâs heart shattered at your words while he moved closer, his hands outstretched and careful not to startle or provoke you. He was dying to have you in his arms and keep you safe. âY/N, please. Come back. What about Sachi? What about me? We need you. Sachiro needs you. I need you.â
What exactly made you go here? How did thoughts of ending yourself suddenly come into fruition? Was there something you discovered that brought you to this ultimatum? Gojou was desperate, utterly desperate, to hear what was running through your mind so that he could at least ease the burden that you were carrying all by yourself. He was once in the position where he wanted to commit too, and he knew the temptation that came with permanently escaping the cruelty of the world in just a single action.Â
âY/N, please. Please, Iâm begging. Come to me,â he rattled on in a suffocating whisper, the pleading in his voice was heavy, âPlease. I love you. Only you.â Â
It was when you turned around that Gojouâs world collapsed, and the words you said after had shattered his entire universe.Â
They were still.Â
You.Â
And the wind.Â
âIâm pregnant,â you finally confessed, voice cracking as you looked at the faint tears that fell from Satoruâs eyes. âI donât wanna have this baby.âÂ
#series: sincerely yours#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#gojo angst#gojo x reader
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It wasn't the first time Kento had bought you flowers.
Your week had started badly, and as weeks which start badly often do, had the audacity to get worse. And worse. And worse. Kento watched it with the mute horror of a husband who could do little to intervene in the particular nature of ills the universe had decided to throw at you.
Sat on the sofa on Friday evening, your week finally dragged (kicking and screaming) to a close. You slumped against the cushions, having drowned your misery in most of a bottle of wine, and you sniffled, hiccupping.
Kento approached you with gentle caution; not because he couldn't manage your anxious, ill-tempered sniping at him. But rather, because he did not want to provoke a snipeshot, just to see you add a gut-chewing guilt to your list of misery, too.
"I just--" You sniffed, rubbing your eyes with the sleeve of one of Kento's old cardigans, "--I just wanna...get back to normal. Have an easy weekend. Bake...bake some bread, or...or something..."
Kento chuckled, sitting opposite you, and pulling your foot onto his lap to stroke it. His voice rumbled, good-humoured.
"Bake some bread?"
You giggled, which bubbled into a sob, lubricated by your wine. You pressed your head into the back of the sofa, slowly falling asleep to the feeling of his fingertips rolling sweet massages up your legs.
You felt Kento shift, climbing closer to bracket over you. You felt his nose, his breath, nudging the side of your head as if a cat. Your face crumpled into a frown, grumbling.
"...Kento...stop..."
"Time for bed, beautiful." Kento whispered against your hairline. "Come on."
You resisted, a paltry effort. You felt Kento's arms slip behind your knees, around your back, lifting you with a grunt, to cradle against him. Walking you to the bedroom, he kicked the door open with one bare foot, and slipped you into bed.
You dipped in and out of sleep, to clattering noises coming from the bathroom.
"Open up." You obeyed, and giggled to feel a toothbrush begin to swish around your mouth. Floppy and useless because Kento allowed you to be, you finally fell into a fractious sleep, disturbed by the traumas of the week you had left burning in your wake.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
You woke, reluctantly, to the muffled slam of the front door. You predicted the next sounds in your sleep-addled state, and heard them in perfect order: keys hung up. Shoes kicked off, placed into the shoe rack. Kento clearing his throat. A coat hanging, and footsteps past your bedroom.
You rolled, sloppy, shuffling out of bed with a yawn.
Approaching the kitchen, you noticed a wooden palette on the kitchen counter, and frowned. Inside, in neat rows, lay bag after bag of carefully colour coded...something. You blinked, bleary, and Kento smiled at you as if you were a painted beauty.
He approached you, trailing fingers through your scruffled hair with a hum. His hand dipped down to your fingers, grasping them and bringing their knuckles to his lips for a kiss.
"Good morning, lover."
"Kento, what's..." You gestured to the palette.
Kento was tying an apron behind his waist, flicking through a recipe book with carefully colour-coded notation stickers. He looked up to you, and to the palette, his eyebrows raising for a moment.
"I bought you flours."
"...flowers?"
"No. I bought you flours."
You blinked once, confused. You rolled a bag, turgid and heavy in your hand, and felt the softground shift of the contents within, and it clicked.
"...flours." You sniffled, welling up. "You bought me...flours. Flours, for..."
Kento's smile softened, turning the honey in his eyes to melted gold as he cupped your face, stroking one stray tear away with a swiping thumb. He whispered.
"Flours. For bread."
Kento reached behind himself, his eyes still on you, and a giggle chirped through you again as he lowered an apron loop over your head, reaching around in an embrace to tie it behind your back.
Hours later, sampling different hot breads, oozing with melted butter, a white sheet had draped over the week you left behind you. You left whitedust handprints on Kento's bottom. He sliced wheatsheafs into dough.
It wasn't the last time Kento bought you flours.
(bonus points to anyone who can guess the movie reference)
#jjk#pseudowho#Haitch#nanami x#kento nanami#jjk nanami#nanami kento#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x reader#nanami fluff#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami x y/n#nanami#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#there's a movie hiding in here and it's one of my favourites
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⌠The Strong and The Feeble
(Il Capitano with sick reader / tw: general description of illness, coughing, or physical pain. sfw)
Imagine Il Capitano with a sick darling, one whose health is often at risk. Your condition has been chronic for as long as you remember since your well-being is susceptible to common ailments and pain. And yet, it never hindered Il Capitanoâs admiration towards you. Instead, it only amplified his urge to shield and protect you.
Imagine the mighty Harbinger returning from a prolonged expedition, his strides cutting through the secluded snowy terrain to reach a quaint manor on the outskirts of Snezhnaya. The mere sensation of the crisp taiga air beckons him to yearn for the upcoming warmth of your arms. Capitano barely has a moment to enter the manor and hand in his coat to the servants when a familiar voice calls out â âIs that him? Is he home already? CapiâŚ!â
Imagine Il Capitano opening his arms and rushing to scoop you, both in worry and longing to feel your body against him. It appears that today is one of your brighter days, as you allow your weary body to move forward and welcome him directly instead of remaining in bed, even when a retinue of worried maids are trailing behind you. But expending your energy is no longer a worry, as Capitano effortlessly lifts you in a tender embrace with his armored hands.
âMy beloved, I missed you dearly⌠But you shouldnât overexert yourself just to welcome me. Save your energy for me, sweetheart.â
But you never allow your mood to change along with your ailments. Bedridden or not, you always greet your Knight despite your conditions. He doesnât deserve to feel any more worry from your demeanor than he already does when he is away at work. Unbeknownst to you, Capitano sees right through you and the lengths you go to conceal your coughs, troubled breaths, or fatigue.
Any day that Capitano makes it back home is a celebration. He misses you terribly, and his Fatui expeditions became a driving force to work hard for you. Heâll return home with rare herbs, expensive medicine, or anything that your condition might require. Even when he is on a mission abroad, his mind keeps conjuring ideas on what unique gifts and books he must search for.
Imagine how Capitanoâs prolonged mission heightened his worry for you. Thus, once he's settled at home, no longer donning his armor, Capitano will personally step in to take care of you. His hand is always protectively sweeping over your forehead and hair, ensuring your temperature is in check. He'll often dismiss the servants so he can bring you hot beverages to ease your sore throat. Only after confirming you've taken your medication and are resting on fresh sheets will the typically composed Harbinger release a sigh and join you in bed.
âDear, you just got home. You mustn't trouble yourself so. You know I can take care of myself if needed to⌠I'm not that helpless, Capi.â
Il Capitano would apologize, tighten his arm around your shoulder, and softly nuzzle his face to a tender kiss on your cheek. However, internally, he is sighing wistfully, because he knows that on sunny days there are looming shadows as well. Sometimes, your illness takes a toll on you, your voice becoming hoarse and your coughing more frequent. Moving or even lifting your head would cause a headache, but the Harbinger never backs away in such circumstances.
You can barely speak on those days. But even as you lay in bed Capitano can tell you feel guilty and try to dismiss his aid. You even try to conjure up a weak smile. A smile that brings the Harbinger to his knees, kneeling beside your bed and silently cursing whatever celestial fate allowed you to suffer so.
"Shhh... sweetheart. I know you despise it, but you must comply to drink this medicine. I will not let ailments win over you."
Imagine how Capitano would never trade any paradise for seeing you smile on the rare days that you feel better. You try to move around, dismissing any help from the servants. Capitano would step in, link a protective arm around yours, and take you on a stroll in the manor's garden. The imposing Captain would make sure his steps are slow and careful so you won't feel rushed. However, the opposite always occurs. Keen to use the most of your condition today, you keep rushing off ahead of him.
Imagine Il Capitano rushing after you gently, catching you before you accidentally trip or fall from your childlike sprints. With a single arm around your torso, he easily picks you up from behind. His tender warnings go unheard as you giggle joyously. A rare and merry sound for him.
If the Snezhnayan weather allows it, he brings a designated blanket to drape over your legs, ensuring your comfort as the two of you spend the entire morning outdoors. Heâd hold you close, sharing tales of his battles and missions. But whatâs the point of talking about work when you canât even accompany him and all he does is fight for the sake of returning home â to you.
Who has the right to define what constitutes strength and weakness? Perhaps for some, physical prowess and overcoming adversity may epitomize the ultimate warrior, while the opposite rings true for the meek. Nonetheless, a certain Harbinger will argue against it. For even he weakens at the sight of your unwavering smile, whenever you are at your worst condition. Or when you muster the deepest courage to get up on your own instead of seeking help. Who is he to boast as the strongest person in Teyvata, when every day you fight to survive?
Hence, imagine the 1st of the Fatui Harbinger lowering his head in reverence for you. Despite your bewilderment in his manners, he seeks your embrace so he can hear that heartbeat safe and beating, praising each day he gets to hold you in his arms. -
#genshin impact#il capitano x reader#capitano x reader#genshin impact fatui#fatui x reader#fatui harbingers x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin impact x reader#tw sickness#genshin fluff#gender neutral reader#il capitano#capitano
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CROSS MY HEART - LN
warnings - smut!! MDNI!! soft!lando x restless!reader, sleepy sex, unprotected (stay safe yall), little bit of cockwarming ?
little one shot for a tired reader who just needs a bit of late night lovin <3
based on -> cross my heart by artemas
masterlist
she truly didnât mean to start anything, y/n was simply trying to get comfortable. she was restless, the clock on the bedside table displaying 3:00 in bright red lighting mocking her. lando laid behind her, his arm laying haphazardly over her waist, holding her close to him, the other stretched above her head.
landoâs heavy breathing faltered for a moment, as she tossed and turned again, his eyes squeezing tight before squinting open to look at her. she was now laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling, landoâs arm still thrown over her as he moved to squeeze at her hip.
âhey,â he whispered, trying not to let his slumber leave him fully.
âsorry, i didnât mean to wake you,â she apologised, whispering back at him.
âwhy are you still up?â he asked, ignoring her apology.
âcanât sleep,â she said, turning her head to look at him.
his eyes were still half closed, struggling to open with the weight of his fatigue. his hair was messy, matted down slightly from where he rested his head, a stray curl resting on his forehead.
âcome âere,â he mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss to her exposed shoulder before pulling at her hip, guiding her to shuffle back into his embrace. she felt his soft breaths blowing on her hair, trailing down the back of her neck, tingles shooting down her spine as she rolled further into his arms. her body moulded into his as though they were made for each other, each curve of her back fitted perfectly with his chest. her legs bent upwards, resting above his, feeling the dull warmth of his thighs spread to hers.
his hand resting on her hip, fingers drawing circles on her thigh, twisting the fabric of her shorts as he did.
âwhatâs wrong?â he asked again, sensing there was more to her restlessness.
ânothing,â she said with a sigh, âwell, i donât think thereâs anything wrong.â
âthe girl who sleeps anywhere anytime canât fall asleep - never thought iâd see the day,â he joked, laughing lightly, his chest shaking lightly on her back as he did.
âmaybe ive slept too much and now im doomed to an eternity of sleepless nights,â she replied, leading lando to laugh lightly again.
âright,â he started, âshut your eyes for me, focus on steady breathing.â
she nodded at him, hoping that lando could feel her response, as his eyes had shut again, his head rolling forwards to rest his forehead on her shoulder.
and so, y/n laid there silently for minutes, eyes closed. sheâd just about given up counting sheep, trying to recall a long journey, even focusing on numbing her entire body head to toe - nothing was working. finally, she decided that shuffling backwards, further into her boyfriends embrace might help, maybe the white noise of his heavy breathing, or the warmth of his chest on her back would lull her into the deep sleep she needed.
her hips rolled back first, pushing into landoâs crotch as she did, her back moving to arch into his chest. but before she could get comfortable, the grip on her waist tightened, a small grunt escaping landoâs mouth as he held her impossible close to him.
âif you wanted me that bad, you shouldâve just said,â he mumbled in her ear again, his hips jutting forwards slightly.
âi didnât mean to,â she whined in defence, before considering the situation, âbut since you mentioned it, and since i can feel a little problem formingâŚâ
âlittle?â he gasped jokingly, âyouâve never complained about the size of it before.â
âill think youâll find i have,â she replied, her hips absentmindedly grinding down on his growing bulge as she spoke, âdo you not remember the jaw pain i had after i suc-â
she was interrupted by his hand landing firmly over her mouth.
âdonât finish that sentence if you donât want this to escalate,â he warned.
âand what if i want it to?â she teased, âmight help to tire me out?â
âwell in that case, i guess im obliged to help,â he sighed, jokingly conceding as his fingers tugged at the waistband of her shorts. her hand reached down to grab his, halting his movements slightly, she could feel his face contort in confusion from where it still rested on her skin.
âjust pull them to the side,â she told him, âim too tired to take my clothes off.â
he laughed at her honesty, never one to complain about being lazy with his girl, especially when he himself was too exhausted to put his full effort into sex right now.
âyeah?â he asked her, needing reassurance before she nodded, mumbling a quick âpleaseâ.
landoâs hands reached around to y/nâs front, pulling her shorts to the side, running his rough fingers through her folds. his head near shot up in shock, pushing himself up slightly to look down at the woman below him, fingers still working through her heat, circling her clit.
âhow are you already that wet?â he asked her, chuckling lightly as the moonâs soft glow illuminated the flush rising her cheeks, âall i did was press my cock into your ass and youâre dripping?â
âok?â she replied, feigning offence, âall i did was push my hips into your cock and you got hard? you know, lan, most men wouldnât complain when their girlfriends find them attractive,â she joked, exposing his hypocrisy with a giggle.
âthis wet, though? all for me?â he asked again, though his voice no longer held itâs playful tone, it became almost possessive, proud of his effect on her.
âall for you,â she choked out, stuttering as his fingers circled her entrance, his thumb moving to continue his assault on her clit. he pushed into her, fingers curling in as he did.
âplease lan,â she begged him, panting as he did. any other time, sheâd be embarrassed how quickly she was falling apart for him, but right now she couldnât think about anything but being full with him.
âplease, what, angel?â he asked, smirking at her submission, âwords, baby.â
âneed you now,â she whined, rolling her hips to deepen his fingers, intensifying the pressure of his thumb on her heat.
âpatience, angel. gettinâ you ready for me,â he grunted, hips still jutting sporadically into her every time she moaned out for him.
âiâm ready,â she argued, âi can take it.â
âyou sure?â he teased, though his hand slipped away from her, pushing her shorts to the side again and tugging his boxers down to free himself. lando tugged at his length a few times, spreading precum down the shaft before lining himself up with her entrance. he felt her lean forwards slightly, moving her leg to raise it over his, opening herself up to him.
he pushed in slowly, feeling her walls stretch around his cock as she moaned out at the intrusion, soon feeling the cotton of her shorts brushing against the skin at the base of his pelvis. her hand reached back, gripping at his arm to stop his movements.
âneed a moment,â she whined.
âwhoâs little now?â he joked, careful to keep himself still inside her, ââiâm ready, i can take it,ââ he mocked.
âshut up or iâm leaving,â she warned, grinding down on him as she grew used to the feeling of being full.
âsure you will,â he gloated, hand moving back down to her clit, pinching at it lightly as his hips began to thrust into her at a gentle pace. she couldnât argue back if she tried, his warmth engulfing her as he held her close, strings of curses tumbling from her mouth with every thrust.
âlove having you so close to me,â he grunted, his teeth nipping at the skin on her shoulder lightly, âso full of me. feel so good, wrapped around my cock like this.â
his pace remained gentle - his thrusts deep inside her, the tip of his cock hitting the spot that had her purring for him. the feeling of landoâs hands on her, gripping at her thigh, holding her open for him to slide in and out of her. his chest pressed up against her back, a light sweat coating his skin.
it was no surprise she reached her climax so quickly, overwhelmed at the feeling of him thrusting deep inside her, his body surrounding her every senses, soft grunts that travelled through her ears and straight to her heat - he was like a drug she could never quit. she came hard and fast, body shaking around his cock as her body grew limp. lando followed soon after, his strong grip holding her body still for him to use however he pleased.
his hips moved to pull back, to slip out of her slowly but her exhausted whines stopped his movements.
âleave it in,â she mumbled, face pressed into the pillow.
âwhat?â he asked, trying to disguise the mixture of shock and excitement he felt at the prospect of being so close to her.
âyou heard me, lan. leave it in. want to feel full,â she replied, a small smile rising on landoâs face at her tired desperation, as she shuffled back into his warm embrace once again. his arms tightened around her again, her laboured breathing lulling them both into a deep sleep.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando smut#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula 1#mclaren f1#mclaren#lando norris fluff#propertyofwicked#oscar piastri#LN4#OP81
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Dad Jace would totally let him daughter braid his hair and let her use him as her mannequin head (who else had one when they were kids?). He would be such a good girl dad
Request: Jace and reader's daughter who disturbs small council meeting by walking in and Rhaenyra is sweet to her and don't care of the disturbance. She would have been such a good grandmother
This has been sitting in my drafts for weeks (early august...), and since I have not posted in a moment, here's a little blurb until I finish other things. I don't usually write fics with children/babies in it, but now that I'm a godmother, I have material for content XD
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
â
Unlike her father, Rhaenyra wanted Jacaerys to be prepared for when heâll, one day, ascend the iron throne. She gave him a seat at her small council, at her side, and taught him how to rule the Seven Kingdoms. He was not given a title other than heir, but his presence was important to her and for the future â his future.
While the council was deep in discussion about ships and importation, the heavy doors of the small council chamber creaked open. Heads turned as little Alyssa, who had just turned four, burst into the room. Ignoring the gathered noblemen, the young princess darted straight to her father at the far end of the table.Â
Jacaerys immediately shifted his attention from Tyland Lanister to his daughter. He could feel that the noblemen at the table were irritated by the disruption, but he didn't care.Â
ââHow do I look, Daddy?ââ Alyssa asked, spinning in her new dress, her eyes full of excitement.
''Magnificent,'' he said, smiling lovingly at the little girl who looked just like him, except for her eyes. She had your eyes.Â
Alyssa beamed at the praise, her little heart swelling with joy. She then skipped over to Rhaenyra, her small hand reaching out to display the dress with pride. ââLook, Grandma!ââ
Rhaenyra's eyes softened at her granddaughter, removing her Queen facade. ââThat is a very beautiful dress, sweetheart. You look lovely.ââÂ
Alyssa beamed and pointed proudly to the light blue dragon with silver wings embroidered on the dress. ââMama made the dragon,ââ she explained. Â
ââSpeaking of Mama, where is she?ââ Jacaerys asked gently, hoping to get a response.Â
But Alyssa just shrugged, her small shoulders rising and falling. Without a word, she spun around and dashed out of the council chamber, her mischievous giggles echoing down the hallway.Â
This time, Jacaerys was hot on her heels. He couldnât let her wander alone â she was far too young. She could get lost or find herself in dangerous places, like the kitchens or the White Sword tower. Or worse, she could also get taken by ill intentioned people.Â
His long strides quickly closed the distance between him and Alyssa. As he finally caught up with her, Jacaerys scooped the little princess up in one swift motion, causing Alyssa to squeal in surprise and delight as she wiggled in his arms.
ââNo getting away from me!ââ Jacaerys held her closely, feeling her small arms wrapping around his neck and clinging to him. ââDid you run away from the nursemaid again?ââ Alyssa stayed silent. ââYou know you're not supposed to run off like that. Letâs go back to the playroom before they send a search party for you.ââ
Alyssa remained quiet, but she nestled deeper into her fatherâs embrace. She adored you, but there was something special about the bond she shared with her father. Same for Jacaerys. She was his precious little princess, his firstborn.Â
As they entered the playroom, Jacaerys saw the nursemaid pacing around worriedly. The young princess's escapade had clearly caused a bit of panic.
ââPrincess!ââ the nursemaid sighed in relief, silently thanking the Sevens that she had returned safely.Â
ââShe's safe and sound,ââ Jacaerys said softly, gently rubbing Alyssaâs back. ââJust a little adventure, right, Alyssa?ââ
The little girl finally lifted her head and nodded, her grip loosening slightly as she glanced at the nursemaid. ââI wanted to see Daddy.ââÂ
Jacaerys kissed her cheek before setting her down. His sweet girl.Â
Behind the nursemaid, Lucerys was playing with little wooden dragons, handed down to him by his uncles. Jacaerys played with these same dragons when he was young, and so did his brother Lucerys, who his son was named after.Â
ââYou may leave us and take the rest of your day, Saphia. I will take care of the children.ââ
The nursemaid nodded, bowing to Jacaerys before retiring herself. Later, when you returned to your chambers after spending the afternoon with ladies from court, you were surprised to see your husband sitting on the carpet with Lucerys and Alyssa, who was in the middle of making âbraidsâ in her fatherâs hair. It looked more like knots than braids, by the look on Jacaerysâ face. A smile curled on your lips and you joined them on the carpet, finishing the day with your little family.
â
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#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#jacaerys x reader#house of the dragon
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Alastor - [ DEVOTION⌠PT.1 ]
xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxx
[ NSFW ] + [ MDNI ] + [ SLIGHT AGE GAP ] + [ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ] + [ BREEDING KINK ] - ( thereâs a lot to unpack in this one, I know, but youâll enjoy it.. also pls kindly lmk the artist for the fanart I used so I can tag them thx! )
xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxx
Alastor Hartifelt was a fantastic husband.
No one could deny that.
Especially not his darling wife of one year and counting.
You, his sole companion during childhood, dawning from a rich family that occupied an estate near his familyâs plot of farming land, and exceptionally infatuated with him early into your friendship.
From the very first time you met him out in the sprawling green meadows of Louisianaâs swamped countryside you found comfort in each other even amidst being ignored or teased by other children.
Their shared hatred and resentment towards you and the older boy cultivated an odd but strong bond between you two, and soon your strife to fit in seemed less appealing than being his truest friend.
Alastor immediately became protective of you, finding your shy nature welcoming like his own mothers, but also irritated by those who wished you harm for the simple fact that your family was better off than their own.
If anyone dared to pick a fight, tease, or berate you Alastor was right there to come to your aid. Youâd tell him time and time again that fighting for you wasnât worth it, that seeing him hurt wounded you more than their words, but for some baffling reason heâd never head your pleas.
Why?âŚ
In retrospect Alastor wasnât sure of the reason himself but he was certain it had something to do with the way you returned the favor by protecting him in your own subtle ways.
Your arms remained wide open when he needed an embrace, voice full of tender understanding when the two of you held quiet conversations late into the evening, and generally being his safe place when the rest of the world refused to be.
You were his darling from the very beginningâŚ
His everythingâŚ
Yet, Alastor wouldnât dare say it aloud..,
The two of you couldnât be more different to those who observed your relationship from the outside. Alastor held an air of confidence wherever he went, suave, and well mannered. He could be cunning when provoked, dangerously charming to get his way, and refreshingly decisive under any amount of pressure.
A man every woman in New Orleans wanted, craved even, but it was well known the famous radio host had you at his side.
You, the cityâs undisputed princess, daughter of a wealthy businessman, but regarded as the furthest thing from a âspoiled bratâ. It was expected for those in higher circles to have sour and condescending attitudes but you proved to be different. Soft spoken, interested in the arts more than being out on the town, and some mightâve considered you âshelteredâ in terms of upbringing.
The contrast between Alastor and yourself brought about many whispered rumors and questions.
âHowâd a sweet little thing like her end up with him?â
âDoesnât he want someone better suited? Whats so special about her?â
âI hear, he married her for the fathers money. Donât blame him for it eitherâŚsheâs a real peachâŚâ
âA little young for him donât you think? Sheâs a lovely broad thoughâŚâ
Youâd heard it all. Every sort of rumor or piece of gossip people had to offer youâd picked up on rather quickly and at first it bothered you, but overtime seeing Alastor act indifferent to the scandalous comments made you less weary of them.
Heâd never entertain the scrutiny, choosing to remind you his decision to marry wasnât fueled by any ill will and as his wife youâd never need to worry about him caring for you.
Alastorâs always had, even when heâd left New Orleans to build his career he still thought of you from time to time, but thatâs all heâd ever done.
Cared for youâŚ
Love seemed to allude his spectrum of emotions and vocabulary. Yes, he shows you affection, buying expensive gifts, making sure you never lifted a finger for anything other than cleaning or cooking when needed, and proudly showing you off on his arm at parties and social events he attended.
Yes, he strived to hide his murderous tendencies, taking extra lengths to shield you from his âhuntingâ escapades by planning them weeks before, and then going as far as discreetly cleaning his bloody clothes and weapons the night he returns while you slept soundly in your shared bed.
Alastor took great care in showing you he cared but defining his love for you was never addressed.
Not even on your wedding day.
It was as if heâd scripted his vows to say nothing of the emotion and even avoided saying âI love youâ back when youâd accidentally let it slip out during your own speech for him.
You hadnât pressed the issue at all, knowing Alastor struggled with concepts of intimacy and devotion since childhood, but the lmawing teeth of doubt pricked your skin harder with each passing day of your marriage.
Had you made a mistake agreeing to marry him?
Was he seeing someone else?
Someone knowledgeable of the world, maybe more experienced in life than you were, or more attentive?
Was she prettier?
Were you not his kind of woman?
Where did he go so late at night, at random times of the month, with a leather bag in his hand and a wide smile on his face?âŚ
Had Alastor been seeing another woman for a whole year and you were just too oblivious or infatuated to notice?
Did he even like you anymore? Could he ever love you�
Were you not enough for him?
Thoughts plagued your mind constantly, causing you to be quieter than usual, and less receptive to Alsstors lingering presence.
Your back was to him, giving a good veiw of your small frame as you cooked in the large kitchen. The familiar sight brought a smile to Alastorâs face. You were so focused, hair tied back by a white silk bow, and a sheer floor length robe to match.
Heâd bough both for you only a week prior, claiming he couldnât just let the items sit in the display window when youâd been staring at with such bright stars in your eyes, but in truth Alastor had imagined you wearing it just as you were now and couldnât resist buying it on the spot.
Your husband remained silent as he watched you waltz around the kitchen, chocolate brown eyes peering over the top of his glasses as he did, but his smile faltering seeing the distress in your delicate features.
You werenât the type to frown often, always emitting warmth and sweetness, so the rare appearance of anguish in your expression perplexed Alastor.
What had upset his darling wife?
Who would he have to kill?âŚ.
Asking what was troubling you would surely give him answers to both questions.
He stepped forward, coming from round the corner to enter the kitchen fully before striding over to stand by your side as you began to mix what he assumed was dessert in a bowl.
Albeit, he was probably right knowing you had a vicious sweet tooth.
âStrawberry cake I presume?â Alastor finally speaks, making his presence known with a cheeky remark, and you nearly jump out of your skin hearing his silky voice resonate around the room.
Your head snaps up to look at him, eyes wide with slight surprise, but they quickly soften as he smiles. A blush creeps onto your cheeks as he steps closer, initiating his usual habit of brushing a stray strand of hair from your face before kissing your temple gently, and only pulling away when you squeak out a greeting back to him.
âH-hi AlâŚyouâre home a bit earlier than I expectedâŚâ you swallow thickly, staring at him adoringly for a moment before lowering your gaze as tinges of guilt build in you. âIâm sorry dinner isnât quite ready yetâŚâ you whisper, feeling shameful, and more agitated with yourself than before. Alastor had and would never berate you, unlike most men of the time he saw no benefit in treating his wife like a slave, and made an effort to remind you not everything had to be perfect.
âItâ s alright, darling. You neednât rush yourself,â his voice is low, simmering with reassurance as he lifts your chin with his thumb and pointer finger. You smile nervously as your eyes meet his again, his touch firm and electrifying all at once, and your tummy doing several flips when he smiles back at you.
Alastor studies your face, attempting to pinpoint the source of your masked sadness, âYou seemâŚtroubled, sweetheart. Is there something wrong?â His genuine question brings a shock to your heart, tongue going numb as you race to think of a believable reason for your dampened mood, âIâŚI just had a little mishap with this cake batter is all!..â
You step away from him, turning to face the semi clean counter with a false air of cheeriness surrounding you. The fear of sounding needy and demanding while telling Alastor the truth keeps you from being honest with him outright.
Fake it.
I shouldnât worry him with my insecurities or doubtsâŚ
It might push him further awayâŚ
The whisk in your hand spins in tight circles as you focus on mixing the overdone batter, beginning to thicken itself more than necessary as you kept going, using the task as a distraction from Alastorâs keen observance.
Something was wrong.
He was sure of it now.
His eyes narrowed behind the circular glasses, hands finding your waist as he came to stand behind you, allowing his chest to press against your back, and his head lowering to tuck into the crook of your neck.
A shiver racked your body as he exhaled a long, steady breath onto your skin. Your hands faltered, flurried movements becoming lax as you froze in his embrace, âWhenâd you start lying to me, ma chèreâŚâ Alastor mumbled into your ear. Every nerve in your body was on alert, shocked that heâd went much further than his usual bounds of physical affection, but pleasantly delighted heâd given it to you.
âMâ not lying,..âyou try to uphold your lie through rising pants, tempted to moan quietly feeling his lips graze behind your ear, neck, and bare shoulder while your robe shifted lower. You werenât certain if Alastor was inching it down by his own accord or your subtle squirming against him was to blame.
The ending result was the same either way. Your upper body gradually becoming exposed to his leering gaze and the cool air. Alastor hummed, the sound rumbling deep in his chest and flooding your mind repeatedly as he placed chaste kisses on your neck.
âI wish I could believe you, darlingâŚâ he chuckled lowly, hands inching towards the lace ribbon keeping your gown tied shut, and with one gentle tug he rendered the fabric useless. âAl..â you whined in slight surprise as he snatched the ribbon off, letting it unravel into a small pile on the tile floor before sliding his cold hands up the expanse of your heated torso.
Nothing.
You were wearing absolutely nothing underneath the thin robe and Alastor audibly groaned when he realized it.
Had you planned on this?
Were you just waiting for him to venture further with you?
All this time heâd watched you frolic and pace around your shared home, wondering what was hidden under you seemingly modest clothingâŚ.just to find you wore nothing at allâŚ
Oh, what a rare occurrence it was for him to be such a blind fool.
Your hands flew to grasp Alastorâs wrists as he held you tighter, kneading your soft flesh lovingly, and taking his time to admire every dip and curve you had to offer him.
âAlâŚplease..â you begged, visibly shuddering as he nipped at your neck and played with your breasts. âI wonât go any further until I hear the truth from that pretty mouth of yours, sweetheartâŚâ
Damn itâŚ.you cursed yourself, slowly losing the will to think as his lips found the most sensitive area on your neck, bruising it with his tongue teeth until you whimpered and rushed out a jumbled explanation for your heavy mood.
âIâŚImscaredyoudomtlovsemeâŚth-that you d-donât want me- AhmâŚâ you soft voice reached a new octave as your husband slid his free hand between your thighs to cup your mound, gingerly kicking your legs apart with a nudge of his foot against your own, and you tensed all over as he did so.
Fuck, he could definitely feel how desperate you were now, essentially a mess already without Alastor doing much of anything, and embarrassingly unable to control your arousal.
âLove, hm? Thatâs whatâs troubling your precious mind?âŚâ Alastor mulls over your confession, able to maintain his composure despite heat rushing straight through him to the head of his cock as he slid two fingers into your dripping cunt. You jolted from the sudden intrusion, head lulling back to rest on his shoulder as he pumped them in and out of you at a leisurely pace, curling his deft digits fowvard every so often to make you shiver.
His thumb found your clit, pressing defined circles into it as he began to ease your worries, âLove, ma chère, isnât what I feel for you..â Alastor lets out a soft laugh, trying to calm his own mind before clarifying his vague statement all while pushing you near the edge of your first high.
âNoâŚ.I feel much more than love for you, my dear. Devotion is a better termâŚobsession at timesâŚâ he admits the darker side of his affection through heavy breaths, cock twitching in his dress pants when you mewl in understanding. Your warm cunt suffocates his fingers for a moment, walls fluttering as the knot in your core threatens to undo itself, causing Alastor to sharply exhale from the inviting fluctuations.
Your lips parted to warm him of your impending orgasm but only a strained moan tumbled off your tongue. Alastor needed no other sign to tell if you were close, inwardly prideful he could make you come with ease.
âGo on, come undone for me , darling,â he insists in a hushed groan, his fingers stretching your walls in a fluid rhythm to drag your climax out, and you couldâve tumbled to the floor from the sheer intensity of the knot inside you snapping on his command.
Thankfully his taller frame kept you securely trapped between him and the counter that you soon found yourself sitting on the edge of after Alastor slipped his hand away from your throbbing cunt.
You watched with a dazed eyes as the older man licked a stripe of your cum off his fingers, brown eyes sliding shut as he let out a satisfied grunt before staring at your willing form perched on the counters edge.
The sight drew a his hidden hunger closer to the surface, toying with his self control as he took it in, and urging him to act on a primal instinct heâd only ever describe as âintense affectionâ.
Was that a flash of red in his eyes just now?
No , it couldnât beâŚ
You werenât left much time to decipher the hungry glint in his eyes before Alastor reclaimed his position near you. His slender waist slotted perfectly between your thighs, the robe now draped off your back, and your hair gradually falling loose from its simple updo as his hands traced your sides.
âLove, sweet girl, is for lonesome foolsâŚâ Alastor pressed his forehead to yours, letting you chase his lips for one heated kiss after the next, and only denying you another to whisper against your soft and slightly swollen lips.
âNeither of us are alone or fools, correct?â He huffs as you nod slowly, bringing your hands up to undo his tie, and then proceeding to expertly unbutton his vest and dress shirt.
The general charm that Alastor maintained completely dissolved into pining under your gentle fingertips, an almost desperate shot of adrenaline consuming him as you peppered kisses along his jaw and neck.
If what he said was truly how he felt about youâŚit was enough to stamp out your doubts, allowing the adoring side of you heâd grown familiar with to resurface, âNoâŚwe arenât,â you respond with a small smile.
He tips your chin up, placing a deep kiss on your lips as he shrugs his shirt and vest off, setting his glasses to the side as well before reaching for the leather belt on his waist.
You paid his actions no mind, busy with fighting his tongue for dominance, but admitted defeat quite fast as his wandered your mouth in expert fashion.
Your soft hands passed over his chest, moving up to tangle in his soft curls, gently tugging the strands to earn a groan from him. Alastor pulled back, a single line of spit connecting you two as he did so, and his hair falling in front of his eyes as he stared down into your tear glossed gaze, âYouâre mine, ma chère. Til death and beyondâŚâ
You nod, halfway coherent, but mustering the will to answer him with a content smile.
âTil deathâŚâ you repeat the phrase, mind reeling further from logical thinking as Alastor hummed hearing your dazed response, head nestled in your neck once more before he trailed open mouthed kisses down the expanse of your trembling frame. He brought himself as close as possible to you, smiling on your skin as you gasp quietly feeling his clothed erection press flush against your bare stomach, leaning further back in his hold embrace him better. You feared making a mess of the counter but as Alastor trailed his lips down your body and kneeled between your legs he gave one swift snap of his fingers to eliminate the obstacle entirely.
What?âŚ.How in the world did he do that?âŚ
Your curiosity wouldâve prompted you to ask him about the absurd occurrence if it werenât for the anticipation rushing your blood as he came face to face with your cunt. âAlastor?âŚâ you squeaked his name softly, attempting to close your legs when he sighed out a warm breath on your glistening folds, but he held them open using one hand with ease. The other resting steady on your waist, guiding you to lay back onto the cold marble countertop, and lingering there as you obeyed his wordless command.
âGood girlâŚâ he praised, tone deepening as you whined quietly, the sound morphing into a loud moan as he lazily flicked his tongue over your slit onceâŚtwiceâŚand a third time.
âMoreâŚâ you pant in the midst of moaning, head craning to the side while your back arched and the urge to scream built in your chest as Alastor obliged your request with vigorous intent. He hummed melodically as your taste seeped onto his tongue, walls ever so sensitive as he explored them tirelessly, and a smirk playing on his lips as you writhed in pleasure.
Your face was soon flushed completely, eyes watering as they rolled slightly with each pass of his tongue over your cunt, and your small hands returning to tug at his soft brown hair. Another coil spiraled in your stomach hearing him groan in response, seeming to enjoy how roughly you pulled his hair, and his gaze drifting up for a split second to get a good view of your satiated state.
Seven hellsâŚ.she looks even lovelier like thisâŚ
Alastor unconsciously drags you closer to his face, not caring at all when you lock your legs around his head and cry out from the borderline bruising hold he has on you now. âOh god!âŚâ you yelp, throwing him a bewildered glance before tossing your head back as he lapped at your clit like heâd starve to death without it, and the relentless attention to your bundle of nerves was the last thing you could comprehend before the knot unwinded itself.
Your vision blurred over, everything starting to spin as your cum gushed into his mouth, and the tears you were fighting to hide slid freely down your face as he downed every single drop your body offered.
It was all too much, the hunger in his eyes, his hold on you, and your high that never seemed to subside even as he broke away from your cunt with a satisfied smile on his face.
It was all too much at onceâŚ.
Your head buzzed with euphoric afterthoughts, incoherency daring to cloud your senses entirely, but the sound of Alastorâs voice near your ear successfully halted the sensations long enough for you to comprehend what he was saying.
âYou taste divine, ma chèreâŚâ his musing flusters you, a light shade of pink coating your cheeks as he dips his head to steal a kiss from you, âAlâŚâ you sigh into his mouth, biting back a keen smile, and wrapping your arms around his neck to keep him near.
He chuckles hearing the unsteady tremor in your tone, adding onto his compliment after capturing your parted lips in another deep kiss, âI presume youâll feel just as wonderful with me inside you, sweetheartâŚâ
His assumption proved true. So much so that the moment his cock passed through your slippery folds a heavy groan of your name was the first and only thing he could manage to say. âY/nâŚ.mon amorâŚâ Alastor held you underneath him, not daring to move without completely relishing in the way your cunt wrapped around him first, and your broken moans dizzying the last bit of self control he was clinging onto.
You tried not to seem overwhelmed, with your legs wrapped around his waist, and your hands cupping his face to keep him as close as possible while your body adjusted to his size. With furrowed brows and a soft smile you praised your husbands well endowed length as he finally drew his hips back, leaving nothing but the head his cock resting in you.
âYouâŚfeelâŚsâgoodâŚ.â You whisper, breathless as he slams back in, swallowing your pleased cries with one tender kiss after the next. He tasted like you, hints of bourbon lingering on his tongue from the drink heâd poured himself before leaving the station, but your essence more prominent than ever.
All that he was, all that he did, and would ever do revolved around you.
His darling wifeâŚ
His one and onlyâŚ.
It showed through the sweet phrases he muttered against your lips as he took his time to please you, pace slow and deliberate, but the execution precise and cutthroat.
You werenât sure when youâd raised your voice, crying out louder as he abused your sweetest spot continuously, and only going silent when a inaudible scream begged to leap from your chest while his cock bullied into cervix. Stars collected in your vision, hands clawing at Alastorâs back as you tried to hang onto reality for dear life, but failing miserably when he sped up his thrusts.
A subtle laugh passed his lips, eyes glinting with greedy lust as your head flew back, exposing all the love bites heâd left on your delicate skin, and the sight caused his cock to twitch inside you.
âF-fuckâŚ.Al!â Your eyes watered once more, sliding shut as a familiar pressure built in your core, rapidly gaining density the longer Alastor fucked into you.
He groaned at the sound of you shouting his name in such a twisted mix of ecstasy and anguish. Your soft voice becoming tainted with an edge heâd never imagined it could have. âClose already, my dear?..â he teased you, smile as smug as ever as he stood up straight, hands gripping either side of your hips, and his gaze lowering to where you two connected.
âLookâŚatâŚthatâŚâ he mused, suddenly slowing his thrusts to a painfully harsh pace, fixated on the way your cunt continuously creamed on his length. Alastor bit his tongue to keep from growling at the view, barely registering your whines and pleads for him to go faster.
âAlâŚAlastorâŚplease..mâ begging youâŚpleaseâŚâ you felt your thighs shake as he continued his lazy strokes, clearly wanting to drag the ordeal out for his personal entertainment, and his lack of sympathy for your plight in that moment edged you even closer to cumming.
He knew it tooâŚ
That infamous grin on his face as he watched you resort to quiet sobs and desperate moans was a sure sign of the factâŚ
Alastor knew you needed him, loved him, lived for him..
âPlease what, mon chere?â He bit his lip, unhooking your legs from around his waist to push them to your chest, giving his cock a new angle to stretch your cunt with.
You felt like passing out then, all strength evaporating from your body as he reached places inside you that surely didnât exist before. His taunting didnât make your dazed state any better, âPlease, ruin you? Please, love you?⌠Let me hear you loud and clear, darling..â
Before you could register the words they flew from you mouth in a hushed flurry of need.
âPleaseâŚlove meâŚfuck me like you love meâŚuse meâŚI donât care anymoreâŚâ
Alastor immediately rewarded your answer, wasting no time as his hips snapped into yours feverishly, flooding the kitchen with the sound of skin against skin.
âLovelyâŚâ he cooed, voice thick with tension as he stared down at your overstimulated form, and within seconds of the praise slipping off his tongue you came undone. He followed shortly after, not caring to ask where you wanted his release, and you made no protest as the warm white liquid spilled inside you.
All you could do was stare, mouth falling open as he fucked his cum deeper, âItâs high time you became a mother, mon chere. Youâd like that wouldnât you?..â Alastor rambled, hardly coherent as his high coursed through him, but his statement crystal clear to you.
âYesâŚâ you whimper in response, walls clenching his cock as the thought of carrying his child sprung into your mind. âIâd love itâŚAl.â
His heart nearly stops as a genuine closed eye smile graces your face, a light blush painting your cheeks as he kisses them gently while gingerly slipping his softened cock out of your leaking heat. Alastor then lets your legs fall, lifting you to sit up straight on the counter again before wrapping his arms around your waist.
You hang onto him for balance, feeling entirely small in his grasp, and finding comfort in the embrace as exhaustion trickles in.
Alastor breathed in your sweet scent, beginning to pull your robe back on your tired form before reaching for his dress shirt. He was careful not to stir you away from his chest as he shrugged the clothing back on
âIâd love you and our child more than anythingâŚâ he nonchalantly mumbles, kissing the top of your head, and chuckling when your tied eyes go wide with undeniable hope.
âMore than anything?âŚâ
âAnything, my dearâŚâ he repeats himself with a soft smile, bringing a hand up to push fallen strands of hair from your face.
That was when it occurred to youâŚ
Alastor Hartiflet could loveâŚ
Heâd always been able toâŚ.
And he loved you enough to share it with anotherâŚ
How surrealâŚ.
xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxx
This entire 1st part was brought to you by the Great Gatsby movie soundtrackâŚâ¤ď¸ youâre welcome⌠;)
[ BONUS CONTENT + ]
Actually it MIGHT BE 12 inches if we are being honest⌠â¤ď¸ credits to creator.
#Spotify#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel alastor#human alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanon#alastor fluff#alastor hartfelt#alastor smut#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#hard thoughts#alastor x reader#alastor x you#hazbin alastor#alastor x oc#alastor human
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FIX YOU - LOGAN HOWLETT
⼠summary: Logan Howlett is dying. You both know it, but it doesnât make it any easier to accept.
word count: 1.7k
pairings: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
content warnings: 18+ NSFW, MDNI, angst!!!! so much angst, mentions of death, foreshadowing the events of âLoganâ, smut, piv (unprotectedâ be smart irl), feelings, sadness
⼠a/n: guys!!!!!! i was listening to fix you by coldplay (highly recommend whilst reading) and it screams oldman logan and pain! this is literally just angst and smut but i hope you enjoy anyway <3
â Ë・ââĄâĄâĄâ・Ë
MAROON blood tinged the white dress shirt Logan wore, groans of agony falling from his frown as he stumbled into the makeshift house.
The sound of heavy steps startled you from your position on the couch, and despite your drowsy state, you tossed the unread book and dashed to see him. Anxiety tingled your fingertips, anguish swirling within your belly at what you might find.
You were right to feel anxious, because the sight of Logan caused your breath to hitch, chest to heave, and your lashes to glisten.
âOh, Logan.â It was merely a whisper, yet heâd heard it all the same. It was an ironic joke that his healing was almost gone, but his hearing was as good as it had been years prior. âLogan.â
It seemed his name was all you could manage, your throat choked up in feelings you desperately tried to push down, along with the pesky, salty tears.
The once crisp, white shirt was soaked with blood, bullet holes littering from his chest to his navel. The crimson liquid had dried long ago but you knew he ached. You could see it in the way his clenched fingers shook, in the way exhaustion draped over his features. The man before you was a ghost of the man youâd met so long ago and the realization had unwanted emotions clawing at your throat, begging to be let out.
Before he could open his mouth, you ran into him and wrapped yourself around his middle tight, your grip not unlike that of a koala on a branch.
Logan hissed, new painful sensations blossoming where you gripped him, but he ignored it in favor of returning the embrace. One arm came around the curve of your waist as the other held the back of your head gently, like you were made of glass.
Maybe you were.
âItâs okay, baby.â He whispered, lips pressed against your forehead. âIâm okay. Iâll heal.â
It wasnât, he wasnât, and he wouldnâtâ something you both knew.
Youâd never tell him this, but each time he left, fear gripped you tightly. Before any of this, you knew heâd always return home to you, alive and completely unscathed. But times had changed, and for the worse, it seemed. You noticed before he did, that his healing had begun to slow down, and it scared you horribly.
Heâd refuse to talk about what it meant, instead choosing to ignore reality in true Logan fashion, but you knew. You both knew that he was on borrowed time, and you knew one of these days his regeneration would dry up and he wouldnât get back up.
One day, youâd have to walk the earth without the love of your life by your side and the very thought made you fucking ill, threatened to bring you to your knees and release the trapped agony.
Your heart picked up, beating vigorously against your ribcage, causing Loganâs bruised mouth to frown. He pulled back, hands moving to cradle your face as he looked into unfocused, hazy eyes.
âHeyâ can hear you overthinkinâ, itâs okay. Iâm okay. Iâm here, Iâm here.â He muttered, the gruffness of his voice leading you back to the present. âThere she is.â
âItâs not, youâre hurt. Youâre bleeding and Iâ what even happened?â With your brows furrowed, questions spilled from your bitten lips without thought. âAnd donât lie to me.â
He sighed.
âJust had a run in with some bad guys, thatâs it.â
âLoganââ
âShould see the other guys, baby.â He joked, the need to ease the tension bubbling in the air was overwhelming. He was desperate to lessen the worry blanketing your face. He hated that you rarely smiled anymore.
When you let out a wet laugh, he knew heâd succeeded, despite the unshed sadness dusting your eyes.
For a moment, you just stared at him, eyes wide as they traced every inch of his face, as if to savor Loganâs face to memory. Then, you leant up and pressed sweet, soft kisses wherever you could reachâ his neck, chest, chin, and bottom lip.
Even after all the years youâd been together, butterflies danced around wildly in his stomach at your touch.
âCâmere.â He was already trailing beside you because the taut grip you had on his hand refused to leave him behind. âLet me clean you up.â
And despite the throbbing of his bones, he followed you, because of course he did. If he hadnât had you, he wouldâve been two whisky bottles in by now, and the blood wouldâve stayed crusted on his skin as he fell asleep. You never let him spiral, though, and you refused to have him do so now. Heâd never said thank you for that, but he hoped you felt it in his kiss, in the way he held you.
Logan was pushed onto the couch then, his thoughts melting away as your hands gently pressed him until his body folded on the cushion. You disappeared for a moment, before returning with the necessary products to clean his wounds.
Instead of sitting beside him, which wouldâve been more practical, you plopped yourself onto his lap. When he groaned at the sudden weight, you smiled sheepishly through hooded eyes.
âSorry, just want to be close to you.â It was mumbled, just loud enough to be heard and you knew it was understood when a tiny smirk graced Loganâs lips.
âDonât mind, princess.â His amusement grew and spread into a full-on smile at the way your face grew rosy. He always did like riling you up, no matter the situation.
Wordlessly, you got to work; unbuttoning his ruined shirt and tossing the bloodied fabric to the floor mindlessly. With a warm rag, you began wiping away the reminders of a fight. Logan let out a couple groans as your fingers prodded at some deeper wounds, urging out the bullet casings until they plopped on the sofa. His body had stopped any massive injuries from forming, but he still wore the aftermath of his attackers.
Logan lost track of time as he opted to stare at you; heâd rather not think about how his body continued to fail him anymore.
From the strands of your hair framing your flushed face, to the plushness of your lips, of which were taken hostage between your teeth in concentration, he admired you. You were so, so beautiful, so angelic, that it shook him, even after all this time.
He hoped that when his body failed him for the last time, when he sucked in his last breath of oxygen, you were the last thing he saw.
âDone! Good as new.â Though your words were teasing, your tone was anything but. Your eyes were somber, filled with so much emotion it devastated you. The reflection of his own powerful feelings mirroring yours comforted you.
âThank you.â
âOf course, handsome.â
For a while, the both of you stared at each other in a heavy silence. Both sets of eyes were tracing every detail before them, to ensure nothing was missed when he was finally gone, but none of you were brave enough to say so. The unspoken heaviness threatened to crush you both with the weight of it all.
And thenâ youâre unsure how it happened, who leant in first. All you knew is that the overwhelming, crushing need to be as close as possible to one another, in every way possible, suddenly became the most important thing in the world.
The minute your lips met, everything else faded to static. It was slow at first, gentle as you both savored the feel, before it was an abrupt burst of passion.
Your hands wrapped around his neck tightly, fingers playing with the graying hairs at his neck, yanking when his tongue slipped past slick, swollen lips. Loganâs hands gripped your hips possessively, and as your tongues danced together in a familiar rhythm, he began to drag you up and down across his lap.
It was dirtyâ the messy drag of lips, the spit connecting as you broke apart to gather oxygen into your lungs, the grinding of your clothed, sobbing cunt across his throbbing cock. It was so dirty yet filled with so much emotion, so much adoration and love.
It wasnât long before he had you filled to the brim, full of him. Once youâd started bouncing up and down on him, drunk on how fucking good he felt, the tears spilled over the apples of your cheeks.
Maybe it was the sheer pleasure zipping through you, the lick of heat teasing your lower belly. Or perhaps it was the fact that you were reminded that everything with Logan was fleeting. The reason didnât matter, not when you slumped against his chest and sobbed his name desperately, hips now moving in a slow grind across his lap.
âLoganâ love you so, so much,â you cried out, the words mumbled against his sweaty chest.
âMy pretty girl,â Logan spoke knowingly, hands going to the supple thighs and fucking you up and down on his cock once more. âI got you, I always have you.â
The mixture of euphoria with his words, a double meaning laced between them, had a loud moan tumbling from your mouth, hips jerking at the feel of your puffy clit bumping the hair smattered at the base of him. Every sensation flowing through you was heightened and when Logan thrusted up into your weepy pussy, you clenched around him so tight, he growled. The movement sent you both reeling, orgasms crowding your senses with the intensity of it all.
Logan kissed you then, thrusting his come into you as deep as he could. Your whine was swallowed by his mouth, so full of him in a way that made your heart swell, chest tingle bittersweet. Whispers of âI love youâ melted into the embrace of your lips, and all the pressing emotions and fears came hurtling back down full force.
Neither of you moved, content to stay connected, even as his cock softened inside you, as the mixture of your releases pooled on sticky, sweat-slicked skin. Your body wrapped around his, hands tickling the scarred skin of his back as his lips peppered wet kisses across the expanse of your neck.
It hit you once more that Logan was your everything and you wanted to cry.
So, you did. Water spilled down your face and onto his chest as you cried. Logan spoke mantras of âShh, itâs okayâ and âIâm here, I love youâ as you let your tears go, even as his own eyes were wet with sorrow.
You both knew it was anything but okay. It was only a matter of time.
#the worst logan x reader#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#logan xmen#logan howlett x you#logan howlett#xmen#xmen origins#x men movies#wolverine x you#the wolverine#wolverine#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolverine
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needy boy ~ chris sturniolo x femreader!
SUMMARY : in which chris comes down with a fever that turns into a nasty cold, and he becomes extra needy of you and your presence. you lock the door to your car as you walk your way up the driveway to the triplets house, shopping bags on your arm. you had been out with a friend all day, getting coffee and going shopping that ended up in hours of chatting, and you admittedly where back quite late. chris had text you and told you to enjoy yourself and to not worry, but you had to admit you were excited to see him. he had been your boyfriend for the last couple of years, but everyday still felt magical with him.
as you reach the front door, you can't help but roll your eyes as you realise again they hadn't locked it. entering the house and kicking off your shoes at the bottom of the stairs, you call out as you start to enter the kitchen where you assume your boyfriend and his two brothers would be. "you should really start locking this door, you know. i could be anyone" you say, a grin plastering your face as you see nick sat on the table with his laptop open.
"oh, you've finally arrived." nick states, looking up from his laptop and you give him an eyebrow scrunch as you look around the room. matt is lay on the couch scrolling his phone and he looks up and gives you a wave, which you return.
"whats that supposed to mean?" you say, walking over and placing your shopping bags down on the table, searching again for your boyfriend who was clearly not there.
"it means im sick of chris whining" he says, grabbing one of your bags and looking inside. letting out a "ohhh" as he takes out a new t-shirt you had bought for yourself.
"where is he" you say, taking the t-shirt off of him and holding it against your body, giving him a twirl. but on doing so, your eyes lock with your boyfriend stood at the top of the stairs.
"I'm not whining" he says, and it's then you notice his voice is hoarse. you place the t-shirt on the table and walk over to him, his arms already open for you to embrace you in a hug, but you grab his face between your hands instead.
"chris, you're burning up. whats wrong?" you say, taking in his sunken eyes and the way his front few curls where sticking to his forehead from sweat.
"mhmmm" he grumbles, and he grabs your waist and rests his head on your shoulder, swaying slightly as you position your hands to hug him back.
"he's sick" matt says from the couch, and i pull away from chris to try and look at him, but he moans again and holds me tighter.
"chris, why didn't you say? i could have picked you up some stuff whilst i was out" you say, annoyed that your boyfriend hadn't mentioned the obvious fever he was getting. "dont need anything from the store" he mumble into your neck. "just need you."
you hated to admit that needy chris was a chris you adored. of course, you never wanted him to be sick, but his need to be pampered and in your arms when he was made you feel a type of way.
"right, lets get you to bed" you announce, finally removing yourself from his grip. you walk across to the table to collect your things, before walking back to him and taking his hand, dragging him back down the stairs.
when you enter his bedroom you're met with the state of his illness, theres bottles of water all over his bedside table, packets of painkillers, a towel from where he's showered and not had the energy to clean up.
"right" you start. "please get in bed, and i'll clean up" you say, wanting to help as much as possible. chris follows your order as you move to his bedside table, planning to pick up the water bottles to take to the trash, when you feel a hand on your wrist.
"come to bed with me" chris whines, tugging on your wrist.
"babe, it will take me 5 minutes, let me help" you start, but if chris is anything, he's persistent.
"babeeee" he whines, sitting up now and grabbing your hips, tugging at you to sit you down. you roll your eyes but you can't help the chuckle that escapes your lips as you fall backwards onto his lap. he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck for a second, before swinging his legs back on the bed causing you to scramble to the side of him.
he gives you a satisfied smile as he wraps his arm around your waist and nuzzles himself on top of your breasts.
"missed you" he says, as you place your arms around him, his legs coming up and crossing over your own.
"missed you too" you said, placing a kiss atop his curls, which makes him nuzzle into you deeper causing a deep chuckle to erupt from your lips. you accept defeat that this is likely your position for the rest of the night and make yourself more comfortable as chris' favourite tv show plays in front of you.
after a few minutes, chris moves his hand to yours, and you smile expecting him to grasp your hand to hold as you lay together, but you have to laugh when he puts your hand atop his head.
"such a needy boy" you chuckle, running your fingers through his curls as he starts to let out a chesty cough.
"are you sure i can't get you anything, chris?" you say, starting to turn concerned for the way you had only been in his presence a short 5 minutes and his illness was already progressing.
"no. stay with me." he mumbles, throat sounding sore.
"sleep." you almost demand, and he looks up at you now. his eyes red and sore, the edges of his nose dry, but you still bend down and give him a soft kiss, causing him to smile.
"keep doing that and i'll be better in now time" he says, leaning forward to give you another kiss. you chuckle into him before pulling away.
"if i get sick too, its on you" you say, giving his nose a bop with your finger which only makes him laugh.
you spend the rest of the evening with chris wrapped around your body, moving from stroking his hair, to running your nails against his back or arm whilst he slept on and off, waking every now and then to place a kiss on your lips. when you finally decide its time to sleep yourself, you shake chris awake slightly so you can move, a grumble escaping his lips as you do so.
"i need to get ready for bed, chris" you chuckle, and he reluctantly rolls off of you and faces away from you, instantly falling back asleep. you laugh as you roll off the bed, heading to your bag of things and heading to the bathroom to wash your face and change. when you reemerge, chris is still sound asleep and you plant a kiss atop his forehead before sneaking out of his room to fetch you both a fresh bottle of water for the night.
when you reach the kitchen, you notice matt still awake and he turns to you with a smile.
"you escaped" he laughs, coming over to give you a hug. you laugh as you hug him back.
"he's so needy when he's sick" you laugh, walking over to the fridge as matt follows you, getting his own can of soda out as you reach for two bottles of water.
"he's been pining for you ALL day." matt says with a clink of his soda can.
"one of you should have text me" you say, shutting the fridge and opening your water. matt only chuckles.
"chris would have killed us. did you have fun with your friend?" matt asks now, and you end up chatting for the next few minutes about each of your day. chris may be your boyfriend, but you had grown to become best friends with his triplet brothers too. you hadn't even noticed you'd both moved to the couch, laughing together, when your boyfriend appeared at the side of you.
his slump down on the couch made you jump as you turned to look at him.
"chris" you almost squeal. "you were fast asleep" you say, leaning over to feel his forehead. his temperature was only rising, so you shoved the bottle of water you had been planning to take downstairs to him in his hand.
he takes it gratefully but looks at you before drinking. "i could hear you both laughing and i missed you" he said, putting his hand on your thigh. you turn around to give matt a smirk as you catch him rolling his eyes.
"so needy" he mutters under his breath and you chuckle as you turn back to your boyfriend.
"i have been gone all of 5 minutes, babe." you explain, and chris only shakes his head as he drinks his water.
"bed, please." he says now, standing up and grabbing your hand to pull you with him. you laugh as you stand with him and turn to matt.
"i'll see you tomorrow" you say, and he gives you another eye roll before smiling jokingly.
when you reach chris' bedroom again, the minute you close the door behind you two he spins around and grabs you into a hug, before planting kiss and after kiss all over your face.
"chris" you squeal, and he only chuckles as he places a final kiss to your lips.
"am i being overbearing?" he asks now, looking into your eyes, and you only laugh.
"not at all. you always get like this when you're sick" you confirm, and he gives you a smile.
"you just make me feel better" he says.
"well im glad, but you can apologise to matt in the morning, we were having a nice chat" you say, giving him a raised eyebrow.
"about what?" he says
"just our day" you shrug, and you see the upset in his eyes.
"I havent even asked about your day" he says, and you can tell he's mad with himself. you smile as you place your hands against his cheeks.
"its okay. we can talk tomorrow" you smile.
"no" he says, grabbing your hands again and going over to his bed. he pulls the quilt back this time and you both get into your usual sides of the bed, both turning on your sides to face each other. your hand immediately comes to his hair, and so does his hand with yours.
"tell me. im listening" he says.
you laugh as you plant a kiss on the top of his nose before giving him a play by play of your day. despite him being sick, his eyes never leave yours and he smiles the whole way through, listening to every word you say. when sleep eventually overcomes you both, you find chris has slowly come back to cuddling into you, his legs trapping you and his arm around your waist, his breath warm against your chest as he sleeps. but you can only smile, knowing that of all the people chris has in his life. he wants you the most.
#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt stuniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fanfic
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type of kisses with nct 127 <3
nct 127 + types of kisses !
127 scenario on their favorite place to kiss you
content : fluff, suggestive (?)
johnny
forehead kisses. thought of this because of how tall he is, it would be perfect access for him. i think johnny would be a fan of some pda, wrapping one of his arms around your waist and pulling you to hip to hip as you turn a little towards him, and he plants a kiss on your forehead. before bed, he'll kiss your forehead. when he comes home, he'll hold your face in his hands and place a kiss on your forehead. if he has to go to work early and you're still asleep, he'll make sure to give your forehead a goodbye kiss.
taeyong
all over. maybe this is too much...or not enough, but i feel like taeyong would kiss you all over. loves giving u little pecks on your cheek, forehead, lips, nose, corner of your mouth. if you're out with the members he'll kiss the top of your head, or your forehead. sometimes your hand if you guys are holding hands, but he likes to be close to you. especially after a long day of work, coming home knowing you're gonna let him kiss you all over is his favorite part of the day.
yuta
mouth kisses. yuta could give u really soft or really passionate kisses, this man has a wide range. when he's had a long day, or coming back from a busy scheduled week, he'll start off softly giving u a peck on your lips before bringing you closer to deepen it (thinking about yuta tongue piercing rn...). maybe im just down bad for this man but he can work his magic.
doyoung
hand kisses. likes hand holding in general, so when you're in public and he brings yours up to his lips, making sure you know he's giving you affection, you can't help but fall for him again. when you're eating together, he rubs his thumb over the back of your palm when you're sitting across the table. at home, when you guys are falling asleep in bed together, he'll run his fingers across your palm, almost like a palm reading, as you fall asleep in his arms and he kisses your hand once more.
jaehyun
neck kisses. from your collarbone to your neck, this man loves having his lips underneath your head. if hes behind you, he'll wrap his arms around you and kiss your shoulders then move closer to you, smiling against your neck when you tilt your head to the side for him to get easier access. loves greeting you with his embrace bringing you closer to him and trailing kisses from your neck to your lips.
jungwoo
nose kisses. he enjoys when you kiss his nose and vice versa. it started when you kissed his nose, and he enjoyed that, so he started to do it back to tease you. loves your soft laughs after he kisses you on the nose. loves to see your nose scrunch up when he comes home and bends down to kiss your nose, wrapping his hands around your waist.
mark
cheek kisses. when you're sitting together, he'll lean over, moving your hair out of the way so he can kiss you on the cheek. if you're sitting on the couch, he'll sneak up behind you and plant a kiss on your cheek, letting out a soft laugh from you. he loves hearing those laughs. definitely more into kissing when you guys are just alone from everyone. a giggly kisser. holds your face in his hands as he kisses both of your cheeks, blushing the whole time.
haechan
collarbone kisses. little spoon haechan is on my mind...just running your hands through his hair as he lays against you, lips on your collarbone. loves to cook with you, wrapping his hands around your waist as he kisses your collarbone. clingy haechan is my favorite haechan..arms around you at all times as he peppers kisses across your collarbone.
a/n: REQS OPEN thank you guys for all the loveeee omg!! im overwhelmed (in the best way possible). i promise ill get to the other requests..i just need some brainstorming time. hopefully this is enough for now!! thank u for the req :3 hope u guys enjoyed
#nct fanfic#nct fluff#nct imagines#nct reactions#nct x reader#nct headcanons#nct scenarios#nct 127#nct 127 reactions#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 x reader#nct texts#mark lee texts#mark lee x reader#nct#nct au#taeyong x reader#jaehyun x reader#jungwoo x reader#johnny x reader#haechan x reader#doyoung x reader#yuta x reader#nakamoto yuta x reader#nct dream#dojaejung#nct 127 texts#nct 127 scenarios#nct dream reactions#nct drabbles
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LIFESAVER - leah williamson
leah williamson x child!reader | based on this request!
leah sighed as she awoke to the sound of your cries ringing through the baby monitor for what felt like the tenth time that night, wincing even more when she checked the time - it of course being only five minutes before her alarm was due to go off, only her luck.
you were usually a pretty good sleeper, and rarely cried in general, never mind throughout the night - so she had known almost instantly the first time you had awoken that you were feeling under the weather, and her worries had only proven right as the night had gone on and your state had worsened.
and again, as if it was part of a well planned routine, your cries only intensified when she eventually padded across the hallway and pushed open the door to your room, your little arms immediately throwing themselves up towards her, desperately in search of any form of comfort.
she bent down and scooped you out of your crib, cradling you in her arms in an instant, never one to deny you her embrace.
âiâm here sweetheart, iâve got you. whatâs the matter hm? can you tell mama?â she soothed for what felt like the hundredth time, running her hand through your bed head, voice so gentle that no outsider would believe it was the same stoic england captain they were so used to if they witnessed it.
you simply whined, more tears angrily slipping down your noticeably red cheeks as you buried your face into her neck, whimpering - her feeling warmth radiating off of you like a heater.
she had picked up on your temperature over the night and had kept an eye on it, and whilst it had definitely now started to come back down, she could tell that you still werenât feeling great. she could guess based on how sniffly your cries had become, paired with the level of sick you'd been over the course of the night - that youâd picked up the latest nasty bug, most likely from your nursery, despite you only going there once or twice a week.
the nursery that you now wouldnât be able to attend for the next forty eight hours whilst your mother went to training.
usually, leah wouldn't even hesitate to call jonas and let him know that she wouldn't be able to make it to training - you were her number one priority always, but of course, the one day you get ill happens to be the one day of the season that leah can't miss, or arrange for somebody to look after you at home.
meaning she'd have to bring you with her.
âokay my bubba. weâre gonna make you all better in no time, kay? you're gonna be my little helper for the day and come to work with me, and see all your aunties! they'll be so excited to see you.â she chatted away to you as she made her way down to the kitchen - prepping your morning bottle and fetching you some 'magic' medicine, whilst bouncing you gently in her arms.
you settled finally as you drank, clutching onto the bottle for dear life as leah stroked your forehead, itâs temperature finally going down to somewhat normal as the medicine started to kick in, your tiredness following, and catching up to you.
you were almost fast asleep as she bathed and changed you into some fresh, non sicky clothes, texting the arsenal group chat as a pre warning of your previously unexpected arrival.
she was grateful to say the least when she looked in her mirror to see you still knocked out in your car seat as she drove to the training ground - hoping that you finally getting some rest in meant that you were on the up, and that you'd wake up feeling better again.
âcome on then my girl, letâs go see everyone then shall weâ she whispered, pressing a kiss to your head as she unbuckled and lifted your sleeping frame into her arms, slipping your dummy into your mouth and grabbing your blanket, before grabbing both of your bags and heading inside.
-
âthereâs my favourite girl!â an unmistakable irish voice boomed down the corridor from behind the pair of you, leah wincing as you stirred ever so slightly - not wanting to deal with another repeat of this morning.
thankfully, no such thing happened - katie getting the hint after a single look from the blonde, and a slap on the arm from caitlin.
âshit, sorry! do you want us to take her whilst you go and speak to jonas and kim about the plan for the day? they said it won't take long todayâ katie whispered, already reaching out for you before she had an answer.
âyouâre a lifesaver, thank you! i'll be as quick as i can - if she does wake up thereâs anything sheâll need in her bag, but she should hopefully be out for a while.â leah gently transferred you into katieâs waiting arms, a now well practiced routine with the team whenever they wanted baby cuddles and you were sleeping, and passed the aussie beside her your bag.
-
by the time you woke again, nearly four hours had passed - and you had been in pretty much everyone in the building's arms at some point or another as the team took turns doing drills.
your auntie viv was the lucky one this time, your eyes fluttering open slowly as she swayed with you wrapped up in her hold, humming a dutch lullaby. she was easily one of your favourite people, and had been for as long as you could remember, having cried in everybody else's arms apart from hers, the most awkward and freaked out person over holding a baby in the room, when you were a couple of weeks old.
"vivi" you mumbled, voice muffled by both your dummy and the sleep as you glanced up at her, playing with her fingers ever so softly.
"hi tiny, you feeling any better?" she asked, knowing that you probably had no idea what she was asking you, and that the fact you weren't crying was probably the best answer she was going to get.
you had perked up massively, some colour finally returning to your cheeks as your sleep clearly fought off whatever nastiness you had been feeling earlier on.
you babbled incoherently and pointed towards where alessia, katie and steph were chatting - another sign that you were definitely feeling a little bit more like yourself, wanting to be involved in what everyone was doing again.
the dutch woman placed you down on the floor as you wriggled and attempted to get down yourself, chuckling and following after you as you determinedly toddled over to the trio.
katie was the first to notice you and scoop you up, pretending that you were a rocket ship, making you squeal with laughter before steph had reminded her to be gentle with you. she only tickled you softly in response before placing you back down and letting you kick a ball to her and alessia, as steph rummaged through your backpack for a top up of medicine and a snack for you - knowing that you'd likely be starving.
the australian had very nearly been met with a complete meltdown when you'd spotted the medicine, it only being resolved because you saw lia stopping to get a snack and take her own medicine for her leg, letting you go and happily sit with her, thinking you were as cool as your auntie lia as steph popped the syringe of pink liquid into your mouth.
-
leah had been checking in on how you were doing every half an hour or so, and she had never been happier to see you run towards her when she caught your eye.
"hi my baby! how are you feeling?" she cooed, granting your wish to be in her arms immediately and fussing over you whilst thanking all of the girls for their help.
âsheâs been good, slept like a champ and just had some more medicine - think sheâs officially on the mend.â steph answered, grinning at you and playing with your hair as leah pressed kisses to your cheek.
you clapped your hands and cheered, not understanding the words but loving the attention that was on you - and how the horrible ache in your body had started to fade.
âalright then! weâre all done for the day so weâre gonna head off for some much needed rest - thank you girls for all of your help with this one. say bye to your aunties then bubba.â leah collected all of your stuff and waved goodbye - you copying her almost identically, as expected.
âbye bye.â you said as clearly as your dummy would allow, waving again at each of the girls individually, who had all gathered near you, their usual place whenever you were around.
âclumsy lessi.â you mumbled as you pointed at alessia, the rest room erupting in laughter just like every other time you said it, and the striker once again protested.
âshe knows like ten words and those are two of them!â
"don't get mad at the baby for speaking the truth russo!"
#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson x child reader#leah williamson#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson x platonic reader#lionesses x reader#woso x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#woso imagine#lionesses#arsenal wfc#katie mccabe x reader#alessia russo x reader#arsenal wfc x child reader#lionesses x child reader#sick fic#fluff
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FOR HIS HEART CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
in which â dan feng canât imagine a life without you. so even when death takes your hand, he'll hold on to your other and do anything to get you back in his embrace, no matter the consequences.
pairing â dan f/heng x gn!reader
wc: 2.5k, lovers to enemies, you both are lowkey bad with feelings LOL, i lied when i said there's an alternative ending for hurt/comfort enjoyers, now suffer. (reblogs w comments are appreciated, pls enjoy <3) ps. dividers aren't working cus tumblr is being mean to me so using dashes instead ARRHGHGHG
â
lying in your shared bed, your breathing grows increasingly shallow, your hands tremble uncontrollably, signaling another episode of your deteriorating condition. the dim, cold room feels oppressive as you catch the distant echoes of the best physicians from all around xianzhou, their hurried steps reverberating against the walls as they hasten to your side.
dan feng tightens his grip on your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, his expression etched with concern. the smell of herbal remedies and the sharp scent of sickness fills the air, mingling with the mustiness of the stone walls; a familiar sense of dread washes over you as you struggle with each breath.
his brows are furrowed, and his lips are pressed into a thin line, his knuckles turning white from the tightness of his grip on your hands. the pressure is so intense that it almost hurts âalmost, but not quite enough to cause you (more) pain. he would never hurt you, not even over his own grave.
despite the best efforts of your personal caregivers, the limitations of medical knowledge, and the uncertainty of your treatments are harsh realities you have to face. it fills him with anguish to witness your episodes almost daily âsuddenly collapsing in his arms, gasping for breath; moments like these are where he feels like he's standing right beside your deathbed, desperately hoping for signs of improvement each time you open your eyes again.Â
it kills him that there's nothing he can do but watch over you, he watches as you waste away before his eyes, feeling a piece of himself wither away in tandem.Â
dan fengâs eyes search yours the moment you regain consciousness, the doctors respectfully step back, bowing before hurriedly exiting the room. his heart breaks into a million pieces when he sees your eyes that were once bright with joy, now clouded with tears. the sight pierces through him, stirring a deep ache in his chest.
"dan feng," you whisper hoarsely, your voice fragile with pain. âit hurts, it hurts so muchâŚâ he presses a soft kiss against your entwined hand, his touch a soothing balm amidst the storm raging within him. âdonât worry,â he murmurs softly, âiâll make it go away soon, i swear.â
âthank you.. but promise me, if i don't make it, you'll find a way to move on.â you manage a weak smile through the pain. his eyes glisten with unshed tears, he shakes his head slightly, "i wonât let that happen."Â
of course he wonât. you were the kindest, most lovely soul before this godforsaken unknown illness with no definitive cure stole your life away; he sees your smile slowly losing its radiance, and your eyes dulling as each day passes.Â
âthis body⌠itâs useless, iâm useless. iâm sorry, iââ dan feng places a finger against your lips. his touch tender yet firm, stopping your words. "don't say that," his voice choking with emotion. "you're not useless, in fact you're the strongest person i know."
hearing you utter such self loathing words is like a dagger twisting in his heart, tipping him over the edge. you, who have always been his anchor in life's turbulent seas, slipping away feels like fragile glass shattering into countless shards, leaving him scattered and irreparable, each piece cutting deeper into his core with every breath.
he can't face the idea of losing you. it destroys him from within, even more so now that time is running out. but he wonât let anyone else have you, not even the cold hands of death. for you, heâs willing to pay any price, even if it means he has to break the highest laws of xianzhou.
â
you wake up feeling unusually energized, a stark contrast to the persistent aches and pains that have haunted you for so long. as you sit up, the familiar discomforts are no longer present, instead replaced by an almost surreal sense of vitality.
but something feels strangely off, an unsettling sensation gnawing at the edges of your awareness. your eyes dart around the room, frantically searching for your boyfriendâs presence; he has never left your side without a word (his protectiveness wouldn't allow it anyway), especially not for this long.Â
panic flares as you look down at your body. the surgical wounds that once marked your skin have vanished without a trace. your breath catches in your throat as you run your fingers over the smooth, unblemished surface where scars should be.
you push back the covers and swing your legs over the side of the bed, struggling to piece together what could have happened.
where is dan feng? is he in trouble? and, why do you feel so... alive?Â
then, a chilling realisation dawns on you. you try to shake the thought from your mind, but no matter how hard you try, you arenât able to find any other explanation that fits your condition. as the high elder, dan feng should know better than anyone that such an act is a sin âa disgrace...
the truth begins to settle in, he really did sacrifice everything to grant you immortality.
â
âyouâre literally the high elder for god's sake, what have you done?!â you exclaim, your voice trembling with a mix of disbelief and anger.
dan feng's expression is pained as he meets your gaze, his own eyes filled with a desperate resolve. âiâm only trying to help you. you donât understand, iââ
âhelp me?â you cut in sharply, scoffing. âyou betrayed xianzhou! you betrayed me. i was ready to let go, so why?âÂ
he reaches out to you, his hand stopping, and hovering in mid air as if unsure whether to touch you. "i can't bear to lose you," he confesses, his voice barely a whisper. "i canât just stand by and watch you suffer when i have the power to save you."
tears well up in your eyes, the room feels suffocatingly small as you stand in front of him. for the first time, you find yourself on opposite sides of the battlefield, the weight of his transgression hangs heavy between you, tearing apart everything you once knew.Â
âby defying everything we stand for?â you choke out, your words laced with venom. âdo you realise just what youâve done?â he takes a step closer, his face etching with anguish. "i know iâve made a grave mistake." he admits, âbut will you believe me if i say that i didnât regret it one bit?â
âhow can you do all this⌠for love?â your eyes search his for answers that seem unfathomable. âno, my dear, for you.â he steps closer, his breath warm against your skin, gaze locking onto yours with an almost desperate intensity.Â
"but how can i ever love you again after this?" you whisper, your voice trembling. his heart shatters at how your eyes taint with fear and betrayal, the sight wrapping around his chest like a vice. the mere thought of losing you, of seeing you banished because of his desperation, is a torment he can hardly bear âbut now one that he has to face.
"if you can't accept what i've done, i'll grant your wish, whatever it is.â he murmurs. âfor you, iâm willing to pay any price."Â
though when bound in chains, his title of high elder does little to shield him from the repercussions of breaking the sacred laws. heâs taken away; his fate sealed by the very rules he broke. and you, the one he tried to save, find yourself exiled, cast out for the sin you never chose.
as you wander, lost and alone, the realisation of what he gave up for you lingers, a bittersweet reminder of his love that defied everything, yet cost you both so much.Â
â
the land of xianzhou is something dan heng is strangely familiar with; he walks through the maze of narrow alleys and crowded squares, every corner seems to whisper fragments of memories long buried.Â
âdan heng! look, isnât this so cool?!â the excited voice of a pink haired girl reaches his ears. her eyes sparkle with enthusiasm as she animatedly gestures towards a nearby market stall with hand-carved trinkets. she continues to gush over the intricate designs while holding the hand of her grey haired companion, eagerly dragging them towards the stall.
his eyes follows them as their silhouette grows smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing amidst the crowd. just then, another figure in the distance catches his attention.
itâs a brief glimpse, a fleeting moment where your eyes meet across the street. perhaps it's your mannerisms, your familiar gestures, or simply the way you carry yourself âwhatever it is, it stirs a rush of adrenaline, a sense of dĂŠjĂ vu that he canât quite shake.
dan heng pushes through the bustling throng, eyes darting frantically in search of you. the world blurs around him as he focuses solely on catching another glimpse of you; he spots you slipping into a narrow alleyway, and without hesitation, he follows.
the noise of the market fades into a distant hum as his footsteps echo softly against the alley walls. he turns a corner and sees you up ahead, your figure outlined by the dim light filtering through cracks in the buildings.
you soon reach a dead end, but as you turn to leave, you bump into someoneâs chest. the world seems to stand still for a moment, dan heng's breath catches in his throat as he looks down at you. although your face is partially obscured by a thin veil, your features are still discernible.Â
âoh? it seems you still remember me.â you finally meet his gaze. those eyes he cherished so dearly still hold a spark of life. â[name]?â he murmurs, the sound of your name still so intimate on his lips after many years.
âyou havenât changed one bit.â he reaches out to gently push the veil covering your face aside. a flood of memories rushes through his mind, one a sharp pang in his heart. seeing you again triggers a vivid recollection of the exact place and position you were in years ago, a memory that stings to recall.
âi wonder whose fault it is?â you tilt your head, if only he knew the trouble you went through to find him again; given that goodbyes were never exchanged between you, it seems fitting to offer one now.
before he can say a word, you swiftly grab his collar and wedge him firmly against the wall. he doesnât resist even when he feels the cold sharp edge of your dagger pressing against his throat, his gaze still fixing firmly on yours.Â
"have you ever felt remorse?" you lean closer into him, your voice is barely audible through your gritted teeth. he ignores your question; unexpectedly, he grips your hand, dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart.Â
"as long as my blood is on your hands, go ahead, do it." he whispers, his voice steady despite the tension. "my heart has always been yours anyway." his eyes bore into yours as if daring you to follow through.Â
his grip on your hand tightens, urging you closer. "and if this is what it takes to ease your pain, then i'm ready."
"...what? you must be out of your mind if you think this way of making amends will work." your disbelief is clear in your voice; you try to shake his hand away, but he refuses to budge.Â
dan feng couldnât imagine a life without you, so when death takes your hand, he holds on to your other âand finds you again as dan heng. even as he gets on his knees and begs for your forgiveness, he still holds on to your hand as tightly as he can, afraid that any moment you might slip through his fingers.
âiâm sorry, i just couldnât accept the thought of you leaving me.â and i still canât, so please donât leave me again.
you feel your willpower wavering, his very being melting away at your resolve. it's too much to bear, and you feel yourself slipping under the weight of his words. even still, you find yourself struggling to deny him. to deny yourself. to deny your own feelings.Â
you fight the urge to simply give in, torn between the desire to just let go and fall into the sweet oblivion of his embrace, and the fear of getting sucked back into a cycle of destruction and pain. the weight of all that history, all those memories of your bittersweet love, it's overwhelming, nearly crushing.
âi know.â your heart aches, but you still deny the crave of the comfort of his arms. âand youâre not wrong,â the dagger clatters to the ground, the metallic sound echoing through the alleyway.Â
âyour heart is mine.â you push the veil to cover your face, placing your hands on his shoulder, leaning in. the cool silk brush against his parted lips, and oh⌠heâs been waiting so, so long for this moment.
though you pull away just as he comes to his senses. for the first time in years, he sees your smile again âthe same smile that first captivated him, the one he had cherished and sought to preserve over the years.Â
"remember the wish you owe me?" he nods, unable to find words. the memory of his promise resurfaces with startling clarity, his mind racing with the possibilities of what you might ask for.Â
â
dan heng looks in the dagger's reflection; a dishevelled and broken man stares back.
the cold metal digs deep into his palm, the sharp edge slicing into his skin. in that moment, he wants nothing more than to be free of it, than to plunge the blade into his own heart. he feels the pain all over again, the pain of not being able to hold you, to touch you, to be with you.
for he knows that no matter how tightly he grips the dagger, it will never be the same as holding your hand. he knows that no matter how deeply it cuts into his flesh, it will never feel the same as holding you close.
âi wish i never loved you.â your words echo painfully in his mind. âand i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.â he releases the dagger with a sudden twist of his arm.
if choosing you over xianzhou was wrong, then consider him a sinner, and if loving you this much is his downfall, then consider him already on his knees.
but was it worth everything? was it worth it to see the look of utter desperation on his face? was it worth it to see him break apart in front of you? you feel only resentment and satisfaction; you made him feel what you wanted him to feel, you made him suffer for you.
the blade falls from his grasp, he stands amidst the shards of shattered illusions; the pain of your absence cuts deeper than any blade ever could.Â
perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again.Â
for now, he honors your wish and only watches as you live on from the sidelines, yearning to be a part of your life again, even if only in his thoughts and dreams. he remains steadfast in his longing, a silent witness to the unspoken ache that lingers in the wake of your parting words.
â
masterlist
Šlowkeyren 2024 only on tumblr. please do not plagiarize, translate, repost on other platforms, or feed my works into ai.
author's notes!! (my line of thought when writing this lul)
1. you made him suffer for you. -> irony. vengeance. he made you suffer BECAUSE of him granting you immortality. 2. dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. = "my heart has always been yours anyway." -> which reader says with âyour heart is mine.â 3. âand i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.â -> reader refers to dan heng as dan feng, i wonder what that means. 4. perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. -> you're both evil asf ngl, yes he will find you, you can't die aka you can't leave (him). ^ the only reason why he doesn't keep pursuing u now is cus he promised to grant your wish which is "to never cross paths again". (wow, he's such a man of his words.) 5. reader kisses dh over the veil, deliberately denying him the satisfaction of any intimacy. can be seen as a form of "punishment", leaving him yearning for more.
ty for reading xx for each reblog i will write 100 words for pt2 /j (BUT DO REBLOG IF U ENJOYED!! and it might not be a slash jay after all heuehehheh)
#â§renwrites!#âstellaronhvnters.#ăť nouveau livre ËËË#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai starrail x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#hsr fanfic#hsr imagines#dan heng#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#hsr dan heng x reader#danheng x reader#dan feng#dan feng x reader#dan feng x you#hsr dan feng#yinyue jun#hsr angst
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the re-do, pt. 2 | m.s. |
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
summary: one more time won't hurt anyone...right?
warnings: SMUT!!!; established friendship; unprotected p in v; fingering; dirty talk; choking; hair pulling; slapping; sneaking around; 18+
notes: here it isssss. in honour of almost hitting 1000 followers (WHAT?!?!?!), i wanted to release a part 2 to my most loved fic!! im currently posting this less than 24 hours before i leave for my trip to europe (yay!!), but unfortunately it'll be the last one i'll be posting for a while. saying that, i'll be back home august 1st and knowing me ill want to get right back into writing, so pls feel free to continue to drop requests over the next few weeks (as long as ur okay with waiting for a while!!!). thanks so much for all the love ya'll, ur the ones who make this whole thing so much fun!!
â âš âą â â° âš â
Walking up to the tripletsâ front door, I didnât knock before turning the knob and entering the warm, familiar home. Nick, Matt, and Chris were finally home in Boston for a few weeks, and I was so excited to see them for the first time in months. They had just landed this afternoon, and although I told them I could give them some time to settle in, I couldnât stop myself from driving over to theirs as soon as Nick sent me a photo of Trevor; proof that they were home and settled in enough.
âThere she is!â Mary-Louâs cheerful voice greeted me once I walked up the steps and into the kitchen. I didnât have a chance to say hello before her arms were wrapped tightly around my frame; embracing me in a comforting hug. âHow are you sweetheart?â She asked once she released me from her grip. I smiled. âIâm good! Iâve missed you all though.â I replied as she rubbed her hands up and down my arms affectionately. âIâve missed you too! You hungry? Iâm just finishing up some Shepardâs pie.â She walked back over to the oven, opening it slightly to check on its contents. âYou know I could never turn down your Shepardâs pie.â I laughed.
âWhere are the guys?â I asked, peering at the closed kitchen door. âOh, theyâre in the living room. I had to lock them out of here, they were driving me nuts!â She chuckled, pulling the casserole out of the oven. âYou go ahead.â She urged, gesturing to the closed door. Sending her a warm smile, I opened the door and my eyes immediately fell on my three best friends sitting together on the couch in the living room.
âY/n!â Shouted Nick, throwing his hands up in the air from his place on the couch. Matt and Chris both simultaneously peeled their eyes away from the screen and looked in my direction; their faces lighting up in smiles immediately before they all stood up to greet me. I hurried over to them and went in to hug Nick first, Chris next, then finally Matt.
I hadnât seen Matt since the last time I visited them in Los Angeles, which also happened to be the time when him and I had fucked after filming their rated r Youtube video. Just like the time we had lost our virginities to each other, we hadnât let the sex interfere with our friendship at all, and things hadnât really changed in any way. Obviously, thanks to Mattâs failure at muting the Discord server, Chris and Nick were much too aware of exactly what had happened that night. But besides the painfully awkward morning after when I walked out of Mattâs room to find them eating breakfast â both avoiding eye contact with me entirely â things were fine with them as well. Once we spoke to Nick and Chris about it, we had convinced them both â as well as ourselves â that what had happened that night was simply a fleeting moment of nostalgia brought on by talking about our first time together.
But I would be lying if I said that as soon as I felt Mattâs hands on me I didnât feel a shiver down my spine; or that when he whispered a breathy âI miss youâ in my ear, I didnât want to tear all of his clothes off right then and there. The sex we had that night, although spontaneous and probably wrong, was the best sex I had ever had. Once I left Los Angeles and made it back to Boston, I had fucked a handful of other guys â just trying to come even slightly close to feeling the way I had that night â only to be left feeling more and more disappointed. Matt and I knew each other far too well, and in some way it was like our bodies were tied to the other â first by losing our virginities to one another but then furthered by the crazy sex we had years later. I had accepted the fact that sex just wasnât ever gonna be like that again, but now feeling him pressing against me, all of that acceptance just immediately vanished.
âHowâs mom doing on dinner?â Chris asked, startling me out of my trance and walking in the direction of the kitchen door as I pulled away from Matt. âI think itâs almost done. But I was told you were banished from the kitchen, so stay away please.â I replied, walking over to him and tugging on his arm to draw him away from the door. Just then, the door opened and Mary-Lou appeared holding her own plate of food. âPlease donât destroy my kitchen.â Was all she said as she walked to the dining table with her plate, sighing as she did.
đŠâđŞ
After we all polished off the Shepardâs pie, we ended up on the couch watching a hockey game. I had curled up in a blanket between Matt to my right and Chris to my left, and was bathing in the contentment of just sitting with them in their family home, just like we did as kids. Even though I couldnât give a shit less about whatever was happening on the screen, I couldnât help but smile when one of them would scream, curse, or cheer as the game continued. As Chris was doing just that, I was pulled from my languid stupor by Matt tugging on the blanket that was wrapped around me; clearly wanting to share.
After spending some time with the guys, my filthy thoughts of Matt began to dissipate. After months of not seeing them, I had far too much time to stew over all of the flashbacks I got; causing me to create a certain image of him in my mind that had differed to the one I had of him before. But, after spending time with him in-person, I was reminded of the fact that heâs the same old Matt that Iâve known for years, and I was just too caught up in that one night.
Then, as if he was reading my mind, I felt fingertips gently graze my right thigh under the blanket. Immediately, my body began to react, and every place he touched felt like it was being set on fire. I gulped, and adjusted myself slightly before forcing my eyes to focus on the screen in front of me; deciding that ignoring these touches was the best thing that I could do. Still, he was relentless. His hand continued to travel all across my thigh, just a whisper of contact as if he knew it would drive me crazy. I shuddered, but played it off by pulling the blanket against me as if I was cold. Even though I knew he could tell that I was affected by his touch, I knew that my lack of acknowledgement was surely driving him crazy. My hunch was confirmed when he brushed his fingers lightly against my clothed heat; causing me to intake a sharp breath that I had to immediately hide with a cough.
This caught Chrisâ attention, and he fixed his gaze on me. âYou okay Y/n?â He asked, and I nodded frantically. âMhmm. Just a cough.â My response was hitched as Mattâs fingers continued to tease me, and as soon as Chris fixed his gaze back on the tv, I grabbed his hand under the blanket and held it still; turning to give him a sharp glare. Once I turned to face him, I was met with a taunting smirk that caused something to stir inside of me. He then used his eyes to wordlessly gesture to the staircase; clearly proposing that we go upstairs.
Iâm not sure how I gained the self control, but somehow I was able to shake my head sternly before drawing my attention once again back to the game. His hand stayed still, but it still rested on my thigh and I could feel myself vibrating under his touch. Then, he retracted his hand from the blanket and I had to stop myself from groaning from the loss of contact; knowing that I shouldnât want to feel it again. From the corner of my eye, I saw him unlock his phone and felt myself relax slightly knowing that he had something to distract him.
Think again.
I felt my own phone vibrate in the pocket of my hoodie, and reaching under the blanket, I pulled it out to find a text from no other than Matt.
Matt: I need you
I had to fight to keep my jaw from dropping at his text, and I turned to face him but found him looking straight ahead at the game. Sighing, I decided to respond over text after turning my brightness all the way down to keep Chris from catching a glimpse.
Y/n: matt. we canât.
I heard his phone vibrate beside me, and kept my gaze away from him as he picked it up. I only had to wait a few seconds for a response.
Matt: Yes we can
Matt: Please Y/n.
The clear desperation in his texts went straight to my core, and I felt myself on the verge of dissolving into a puddle right then and there. To make things even worse, Matt snaked his hands back under the blanket, grabbing my own and drawing it towards the crotch of his jeans. There, his cock was already rock hard, and I really had to keep myself from straddling him right there. I turned to my left to get a quick glance at Nick and Chris beside me. Nick was curled onto the couch, seemingly sound asleep, and Chris was fully entranced by the hockey game. Just then, a commercial break came on, and I turned to face Matt and gave him a soft nod. Immediately, a sinister smile crossed his face before he put his phone away and cleared his throat.
âOh my god Y/n I forgot to show you the clothes I bought before I left LA. Remember you texted me earlier today telling me you wanted to see?â His lie fell from his mouth effortlessly, and if I didnât know that he had ulterior motives I would never come even close to feeling suspicious. Without missing a beat, I followed along in his little lie. âOh yeah! Where are they?â I responded, doing everything I could to keep my tone as nonchalant as his. âUp in my room, I havenât unpacked yet. Wanna go see them now?â I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling. âSure.â Was all I was able to say in response before hurriedly standing up from the couch. Matt shifted slightly under the blanket for a moment, obviously tucking his boner into the waistband of his pants so that it wouldnât be noticeable, before following me towards the stairs. âDonât be long!â Shouted Chris from behind us, âYaâll are gonna miss a good ass game.â
Quickly, the two of us climbed the stairs, doing our best to keep our composure until we were behind closed doors. We rushed into Mattâs bedroom, him entering before me, and I turned to quickly shut the door. Before I could even face his room, Matt pinned me to the door and his lips were on mine. A groan immediately fell from his lips as I opened my mouth to grant his tongue access; losing all sense of control as his hands roamed every inch of my body. My own hands flew to his hair, holding his face against mine as the kiss deepened even more. Our tongues swirled around each other, our mutual hunger for one another taking an almost literal form.
One of Mattâs hands travelled up my chest, tearing my hoodie up over my head in the process, before attaching to my throat. I gasped at the pressure, feeling my panties flood with arousal, and he tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled away from the kiss; gazing down harshly at me. âHow many guys have you fucked since I saw you last.â His voice was gravelly with lust, and his tone was so ominous that if I hadnât known Matt for as long as I had, I would be afraid. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my cheek as he slapped it. âAnswer me, Y/n. How many?â I couldnât keep the small smile from travelling to my lips from how turned on he was making me, but finally I was able to get myself to respond. âA few.â His pupils dilated.
âOh yeah? How were they?â He was smirking, and I was thrown off by his words. Again, in my silence he slapped my cheek. At that, I couldnât keep the lustful squeal from falling from my lips. âT-they were okay.â I lied, feeling myself tremble against the doorframe. At that, his thumb that had been soothing my sore cheek traveled to my mouth, pressing down on my lips and encouraging me to open up. I obliged, letting his thumb rest on my tongue before slowly wrapping my lips around it and sucking lightly. Mattâs eyes were glued to my mouth, but he continued speaking. âJust okay, huh?â He knew what he was doing, and I did as well, but in the state I was in I had lost all impulse control; so I fell for his trap.
âNone were as good as you, Matty.â
I batted my eyelashes as I spoke, and immediately his lips were back on mine. Our mouths moved in sync as his tongue dominated mine, and I relished in the familiar taste of him. His burning desire for me fuelled my own, and as I continued to kiss him I felt myself growing more and more needy. As I released a frustrated groan into his mouth, I felt his hand travel to the waistband of my jeans where he hurriedly worked at the button and zipper. As soon as he peeled the rough material down my legs, his hand went to my heat; causing me to release a sharp breath.
âMmm. So wet, just like last time.â He purred, dragging his mouth away from mine and down my neck; dropping wet kisses in its path. I was shaking from his touch, and subconsciously I widened my legs to give him better access to my aching core. Noticing this, he released a husky chuckle before slowly rubbing two fingers along my folds. âYou missed this, didnât you?â I immediately nodded my head as I nibbled at my bottom lip, needing him to touch me more. âI knew it.â His fingers slowly began circling my clit then, drawing satisfied moans from my mouth. âYeah. I bet you touch yourself thinking of that night in LA,â His mouth was nibbling at my neck just below my ear, and the heat from his breath caused goosebumps to raise on my skin and my nipples to harden. âAnd I bet you pretend that your fingers are mine.â
Just as the words left his lips, he plunged two fingers up into me, causing me to gasp in pleasurable shock. Immediately, his fingers went to work curling up to my spongey g-spot and forcing my knees to buckle. Desperate for more contact, I wrapped a leg around his waist so that his fingers could reach even deeper into me. Hushed moans fell thoughtlessly from my mouth, and I prayed that no one in the house could hear them. I gripped helplessly onto the back of Mattâs neck as he rested his forehead against my collar bone, putting all of his effort into his plunging fingers.
âYou feel good sweetheart?â He asked, his words coming out in short bursts as he continued his movements. âS-so g-good.â I replied carelessly, arching my back off of the door as I felt tension like a stretched rubber band grow in my stomach. Aching from the pressure, I reached in between my legs and began frantically rubbing my clit; desperately chasing my high. After just a brief moment, Matt looked down between my legs and, upon realizing what I was doing, slapped my hand out of the way and replaced it with his own. His fingers worked on my clit and my core simultaneously, and I lost all control over the erotic noises that poured out of my mouth.
âShh.â Matt demanded, placing his own mouth on mine in a motionless kiss to stifle my moans. The stimulation was almost too much to handle, and I felt myself teetering on the edge of an overwhelmingly strong orgasm. âG-gonna cum.â I managed to spew out against Mattâs open mouth, and he hummed in response; keeping his pace on my heat steady. âLook at me while you cum, Y/n.â Mattâs voice was commanding, and without thinking twice I opened my pinched eyes and was met with his focused yet aroused gaze just before being overtaken by an earth-shattering orgasm.
As pleasure rippled through my body, my blurry vision never veered from his face as his fingers fucked me through my high. I bit my lip so hard that I left indents to suffocate my stream of moans before they could leave my lips. I felt myself squirt, the pressure that had built up inside of me immediately being relieved, and as I did he removed his one hand from my core and used his other to continue rubbing my clit so that the fluid sprayed all over the front of him and down my legs.
As I was still trembling through my high, I watched as Matt used his free hand to yank his jeans and boxers down his legs before plunging his hard cock into me. âFuck.â We both gasped in unison as he sunk every inch through my walls, shuddering from the immediate pleasure that we both felt. Matt stayed still for a moment, clearly collecting himself, before pounding into me strenuously. Grasping onto his shoulders in order to stay grounded, I muttered nonsense as his cock slammed into my g-spot relentlessly.
âFuck. Missed this pussy so fucking much.â Matt groaned in my ear, causing me to cry out as he drove his cock harder and harder into me; so hard that my head began smacking against the door frame. Suddenly, Mattâs hands snaked down to my ass, cupping it in his grasp and lifting me up. Still inside of me, he began walking me towards his bed on the far side of the room, where he placed me on the end of the bed and spun me around. I lay there like a rag doll as I let him reposition me into doggy, before I felt him slide his dick back through my opening.
âJesus Christ.â I moaned, the new position deeper than the last as I felt every inch of him stretch out my walls and reach even further into me. Matt grabbed a fistful of my hair and I cried out as he used his grip to pull my head up off of the bead. With my back pressed against him, he covered my mouth with his hand as he peppered my sensitive neck with wet kisses. âYou love my cock, donât you baby?â He asked in a rough voice against my ear, and I nodded. Suddenly, his hand made contact with my throat and he tightened his fingers around it again. âWords, Y/n.â He said tauntingly, and I whined. âY-yes. I love it Matt.â I managed to reply before he loosened his grip on both my throat and my hair, allowing my body to fall back onto the bed.
His hands found my hips, and he held them tightly as he continued thrusting into me. His pace was growing slightly choppier, and I smiled to myself maniacally, knowing that he was feeling good. As his rhythm slowed, I began moving my own hips up and down to meet his length. Noticing what I was doing, Matt stopped his own movements and allowed me to fuck myself on his cock. I heard his heavy breathing behind me as I continued to throw myself down on it, picking up the pace with each pump.
His hands gripped my hips tighter before he spoke. âMmmm, slow down honey, gonna cum soon if you keep doing that.â I smiled to myself once again, and even let out a small chuckle as I continued at the same quick pace; wanting to make him feel good. The sound of wet skin slapping skin filled the space between us as I worked his cock up and down my walls, and I felt another orgasm approaching down my spine. âMatty, gonna cum again.â I whined as the build up became un-ignorable. âMe too. Turn around. Wanna see that pretty face while you take it.â His words went straight to my core, and I struggled to find the strength to do exactly what he said.
With his help, I flipped around so that I was now on my back looking right up at his naked frame. He gazed down at me with eyes so dark and filled with lust that I almost gasped from the stark difference from the Matt that I typically saw. Leaning over me, he drove his length into me again, grabbing onto my tits as he did; making me see stars. Matt grabbed onto my legs and bent them at the knees before pressing them down and allowing his cock so much access to the deepest part of my core that I almost cried in addictive pain. âYou want me to cum in you baby?â He asked, his voice a whole octave lower than usual due to his aroused state. I nodded, before remembering to use my words. âP-please cum in me.â I added, feeling my own orgasm causing my walls to already begin to convulse slightly. Holding onto my knees tightly, Mattâs jaw went slack before he released a guttural moan, enough to push me over the edge for the second time tonight.
With his cock pulsing inside of me, I shook uncontrollably as my second orgasm tore through me without mercy. I clung onto anything that I could as I fought the urge to scream profanities out at the top of my lungs as my walls milked his shaft dry. Matt continued to thrust into me slowly, pushing all of his cum deep inside as he helped me come down from my high. Once my moans halted, he planted a soft kiss to my hand resting on his chest before slowly pulling his cock out of me; watching the mix of his and my cum drip from my opening.
Walking over to his closet for what I assumed was a towel, he chuckled. Still catching my breath and recovering from my tornado of an orgasm, I struggled to lift myself off of the bed. âWhatâs so funny?â I asked as I watched him walk over with a towel just as I suspected. Still smiling, he shook his head as he began cleaning me up. âNothing. Itâs just that shit is way too good.â I laughed myself at his words, because I unfortunately agreed. âIt probably wasnât the best idea.â I began as I stood on shaky legs to retrieve my lost articles of clothing. âThe first time was purely practical. The second could be called an accident. But a third time? Thereâs no explaining that away.â I said as I dressed myself.
âWhat?â He started, walking over to where I was standing to retrieve his own pants. âYouâre the one that said that good friendships include fucking each other every once in a while.â I rolled my eyes. I had said that in Los Angeles, but had meant it as a joke at the time. âI donât know if fucking every time weâve seen each other constitutes as âonce in a whileâ.â I replied, running my hands through my messy hair in an attempt to remedy my fucked out appearance. With a sheepish smirk on his face, he shrugged. âI donât know, I think itâs working out fine, donât you?â I couldnât contain my smile at this, giving away that I agreed. âAnd besides, no one has to know about this time. No brothers barging in, no Discord servers being left on. No one knows so thereâs no need for an explanation this time.â He pulled me to his chest and hugged me for a moment, and I instantly felt more reassured.
âReady to go? Iâd be lying if I said I didnât want to see the score.â I laughed before pulling away from the hug and heading to his bedroom door. We walked down the stairs in a single file, and walked back into the living room with the intention of looking as inconspicuous as possible. Nick was still sound asleep, but Chris was wide awake, still staring at the tv. He was suspiciously quiet, but I allowed myself to believe that it was just because he was locked into the game, so I nonchalantly sat down on the couch beside him. Just as Matt settled onto the couch to my right, Chris cleared his throat before speaking. âSo, Y/n. What was your favourite piece?â I turned to face him in confusion, and mentally scrambled to try to figure out what the fuck he was talking about. âThe fuck?â I asked just as Matt pinched my thigh gently under the blanket.
As I realized that he was talking about the excuse that Matt and I had made to go upstairs, I watched as Chrisâ eyes shot open and he pointed a finger between me and Matt. âI fuckinâ knew it!â I tried to speak, but I was completely incapable of forming a coherent sentence; let alone a believable lie. I heard Matt groan to my right. âYou two fucked again didnât you!â Still, silence.
Our lack of retaliation was enough to give Chris the answer he needed, and he rolled his eyes. âJesus Christ, you guys are a couple of dogs.â He turned back to face the screen, but not before dramatically scooting a few centimetres away from me on the couch. I slowly turned my head to face Matt, and found him closing his eyes and biting his lip to stifle a laugh. At this, I had to cover my mouth to to the same, and I prayed that Chris couldnât see my shoulders shaking as I laughed silently. My silent laugh seemed to be contagious, because I watched as Mattâs body began to tremble in laughter as his hand went back to casually resting on my thigh under the blanket.
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