#and javier never contracted an illness

[javierduffy]

nothing, just thinking about how javier is so coyote-coded and low honor arthur is represented by a coyote …

[dalekofchaos]

Context for choice 2. Micah makes a deal with Ross. He'll give him Dutch in exchange for his freedom and the Blackwater money. However Micah expects a betrayal, eventually so he also gives his service to the Bureau to pledge his life to hunting down his fellow brother in arms. "I'm a patriot" Ross is disgusted with Micah's existence, but admits they need a man of his talents.

He hunts down Bill and Javier. He would’ve gone after Pearson, Tily, Mary-Beth, Trelawny, Swanson, Charles, Sadie and finally John and his family. Micah is a snake who would’ve done ANYTHING to save his own skin and a snake who needed to be put down. He would’ve hunted everyone who left and kill the Marstons’ when they finally got their peace.

[lloydfrontera]

this hellsite can't stop me anyway in the switched protagonist au lloyd and damian are an absolute menace together they enable each other's most asshole-y traits and the levels of sass in the room grows exponentially for every minute they spend together.

they'll be going about their day and randomly start arguing about damian's pay completely unrelated to anything they're doing. full on haggling and negotiating "twenty-five percent and a week of vacation" "five percent and an extra weekend" "twenty percent and five days" "ten percent and three days but you don't mention my birthday for two months" "fifteen, four days and one month" "deal" lloyd does joke damian is the reason they'll fall in debt again. damian argues they wouldn't get nearly as much work done without him. lloyd can appreciate the commitment to getting fair pay even if it does put somewhat of a strain in his pocket. and damian does admire that lloyd never delays payments and he doesn't even has to ask for bonuses or hazard pay because lloyd just,,, gives them all of that (<- this is canon and no i am not mad the webcomic doesn't comment on it the way it should what are you talking about-)

also! they're sooooo good at squeezing shitty rich people out of their money. lloyd will draft the most ridiculous contract he can get away with and damian will loom ominously in the background until it's signed and then they high-five the moment they're out of the room not a single word needed between them.

plus the moment they see a monster and lloyd suggests running away damian agrees immediately, picks him up and fucking books it out of there. they are not in it for the heroics thank you very much. there would need to be a completely different reason for them to defeat the monsters and involve themselves in the drama cause they're both very much in favor of just. running lol

as for javier dealing with the fact that he can no longer protect rakiel the way he's supposed to because he has a demon king inside of him just itching to possess him and making hm as weak as possible in order to make him his vessel,,,, the mental issues would be delightful.

he would hate it with a passion, javier already has a big tendency to berate himself any time he's not strong enough to defeat whatever is threatening lloyd all by himself, so imagine the self-loath that would ensue if not only were he incapable of protecting rakiel but if he was the danger itself.

and then having rakiel push himself to exhaustion to keep him alive once acheros figures that if he can't put him in external danger than he can just make his own body attack him?? he'd be devastated. he'd feel ashamed and angry at himself for turning into a burden to rakiel, he'd try to brute force his way out of being ill only to crash and burn much the same way damian did when he tried to do the same.

javier is very much a 'gifted kid'. everything sorta comes easy to him, he never had to struggle too much to be good at things, not that he didn't apply himself or that he didn't put any effort, but he never encountered something he truly struggled with or couldn't simply surpass on his own. so when he's attacked by something he can't defend himself against, something that is so out of his league he wouldn't even have any idea of how to start defeating, he'd take it pretty darn hard.

i can see him trying to be more hands on while helping rakiel tho, like be it while he's trying to make the medicine for him or just in general around the clinic. like remember when lloyd told him to grow onions during the wetlands arc? and he ended up enjoying it?? he's just,,, a softie under the cool and badass exterior. so i think he would genuinely enjoy helping around in the clinic, he'd probably take an interest in learning some basic first aid or simple treatments. he likes helping people! he'd enjoy knowing how to bring some relief and heal instead of just fighting. and rakiel would be all over it because 1) free help and 2) hopefully if he keeps javier in the clinic they will avoid life-threatening danger that brings acheros out (doesn't work but it was worth the try)

oh my god now i am actually cooing a little over rakiel treating a patient only to look up and get startled by how close javier is leaning in to see, curious to watch the way rakiel heals his patients. and then when rakiel gently asks him if he wants to learn, he'd hesitate a little, worried that his hands, rough and callused from all the fighting he did in the gladiator arena, would harm more than help, but after some more gentle coaxing and a bit of teasing he accepts. and while he never quite becomes a nurse or attendant he's more than proficient at helping rakiel whenever they need some hands or when rakiel asks him to

i dunnot! the thought of javier being allowed to do more than just fight the way he was destined to makes me happy :]

[the-awkward-outlaw]

Hi! I love your works and I was wondering if you could write something about a new "lost soul" saved by the gang and trying hard to fit in. A reserved female reader who secretly develops feelings for Arthur, knowing well he has no interest in getting involved with anybody. A good ol' heart-wrenching, I-will-pine-from-a-distance-and-suffer-in-silence kind of unrequited love. Ending is up to you (but maybe it's a happy one

This one turned out sweet. Arthur’s the biggest softy. That said, FLUFF AHEAD!

Masterlist

Read on AO3

You look around nervously, not sure you��re entirely in the right place. Everything’s changed so quickly, it’s hard to process. Sure, you’ve heard endless tales of gangs and outlaws, living wild and free, but you never knew the gritty details about any of it. Now here you are, living it. 

You ended up here with the Van der Linde gang because your life has a funny habit of putting you in the wrong place at the wrong time. You’d been on the train two days ago, and it got robbed by a gang. As they were busy killing the engineer and the conductor and going through everyone’s possessions, a man you’ve come to know to be named as Arthur rode by and killed the bastards. You sank to your knees in fright, afraid you’d be killed too. 

As you sobbed into the grass, your hero dismounted and comforted you. When you explained that you had no home, nowhere to go and nothing to return to, Arthur offered you to come with him. You accepted, of course, you just found yourself incapable of saying no. He put you on the back of his horse and rode down south of Blackwater and into a small hideout called Thieves Landing. 

You’ve never been here before, your parents told you as a child to avoid the place as though it had the plague. Everyone south of the Upper Montana knew it was where criminals hid and because of its layout, it was hard for the law to take. 

It was here that Arthur told you his gang was hiding out in and that you were welcome to stay until you got your life sorted. An older woman named Grimshaw immediately jumped on you and started barking orders, despite you being completely dumbfounded and confused. 

It’s been two days since you were brought in, but you’re not entirely convinced you’re fitting in all that well. The gang’s big with at least twenty members. All of them, even the women, have a track record. The only one who’s as innocent is a child named Jack, but the rest have done something to earn them at least a few days in jail, but most have earned even the noose should they ever get caught. 

It’s not a comforting idea exactly, but already you can see how tight-knit they all are. There’s a sense of family here, the likes of which you’ve never had the fortune of experiencing. While in the day, Grimshaw barks and even nips, at night she turns pleasant, making sure everyone gets a plate to eat and singing songs around the campfires. 

She’s not the only one to let down their hair at night. Most of everyone does, telling stories about things that have happened or singing songs. You especially liked it last night when a young man named Javier sat down and played his guitar, singing in Spanish. Being from down south yourself, you were used to hearing his native tongue though you understood none of the words. It was still pleasant to hear. 

“So, how’s you adjustin’?” asks the young girl next to you as you scrub at a shirt in the wash bin with a rather stubborn spot that doesn’t want to come out. She’s got brown hair and she’s wearing a faded purple dress with a rather pretty necklace. 

“I… I think I’m okay. But… Mary-Beth, isn’t it?” you say. She nods. “Can I be honest with you?” She nods again. “I really don’t fit in here. Not because you’re criminals and I’m not, it’s just… I have nothing to offer anyone. I don’t know how to steal, shoot a gun. Hell, I can barely ride a horse.” 

“And that’s okay,” Mary-Beth says with a small smile. “You can learn how to do those things. I’m more than happy helpin’ ya, and I bet the other gals will too.” 

“Not only that, but we can always use another girl,” Grimshaw snarls, stomping over to you both. “Now get to work, both of ya!” She marches away to go bully Tilly. 

“Don’t worry about Ms. Grimshaw,” Mary-Beth says when the woman’s out of earshot. “She likes to act tough, and sometimes she can be a little too forceful, but she does care.”

“That’s to be debated,” says Karen, walking over with a repeater in her hand. She must have just finished with guard duty. “That ol’ bat wouldn’t give a damn if we was all on fire, long as we’re workin’.” 

Mary-Beth gives a little giggle, but Karen walks off to go and talk with a red-haired man. Because Thieves Landing is so large, you’re still learning the names of the members of the gang. You’ve kept your ears open though, wanting to learn about these people, see how the other side of society works. 

Growing up, you never had many friends, always being very shy. At school, you were bullied a lot for reasons you couldn’t understand. Your parents tried to help you but there was little they could do aside from pulling you out of the school and teaching you themselves. They didn’t know much about math or science though, so they taught you what they knew: how to ranch and garden. 

When you were about ten, your father got sick and died. A few weeks later, your mother, who had contracted his illness, died too. You ended up at your uncle’s house, but he was such an abusive, angry drunk you just left one day when you were 15. You’ve been on your own since, jumping from one job to the next. You were between them when you were on that train a couple days back, when Arthur found you. 

As you sit and work, you smile as you think of your father. He used to tell you many stories, but your favorites were those about gunslingers and outlaws. Something about them seemed romantic and fantastical, the way they represented the idea of freedom, of never being tied down. You never thought you would be incorporated into a gang of them as an adult. 

A few hours later and you hear the somewhat familiar voice of the camp cook Pearson shouting that dinner’s ready. You sigh in relief, knowing that dinner signals the end of the day’s work and you can relax. The past two nights you’ve spent alone on your bedroll, being too shy to mingle, but as you stoop to collect your stew, you wonder if you can muster the courage to change that. 

Several of the gang has gathered around a large campfire to talk over dinner. There’s an empty seat, but it’s right next to Arthur Morgan. Sure, he’s the man who brought you here, but you feel especially unimportant next to him. He’s a big guy, much taller than yourself, broad, handsome. The girls told you he’s got a very rough exterior but secretly harbors a heart of gold. However, it wasn’t until you found out he holds some of the greatest weight in camp that made you shy around him. 

A hand pats you on the back, making you jump a little. Turning, you see Grimshaw. 

“Go on, have a seat, dear. You’ve earned it.” 

Unable to say no to her, you walk over and take a hesitant seat next to Arthur, hunching down a little. He doesn’t seem to notice as he’s listening to a man named Hosea tell a story about how he’d nearly been busted for robbing a house during a wake but how he’d managed to act his way out of being caught. It’s a rather funny story and as the others laugh appreciatively, you feel yourself relaxing. That is until Hosea’s story ends and he asks you a pointed question. 

“How are you settling in, miss?” 

You hate being brought out in the spotlight like this and it doesn’t help that Arthur, sitting so close, turns to look at you, his expression neutral. 

“Oh, I’m… I’m doing okay, thank you. Mary-Beth said she can teach me how to rob people, so I’m hoping I won’t be so useless to you anymore soon.” 

“No one’s complaining about you being useless,” says a man named John, sharpening his knife on a whetstone. “When you start bein’ as useless as Uncle, then we’ll have a problem.” 

“Hey, I work!” complains the man in question. 

“Really? When was the last time you lifted a finger ‘round here, ol’ man?” Arthur challenges. The group happily begins to bicker, but you’re grateful as it’s pulled their attention off of you. 

As the days pass, you begin to hear people in the gang beginning to talk about a big score. A member named Micah came in to bring the idea of a big river boat to the gang’s leader Dutch. From what you can make of Dutch, he’s a clever, calculating man who cares deeply for his family. Mary-Beth and Tilly told you how he and Hosea took both Arthur and John in as their sons despite not being much older themselves. They formed this gang together and it’s stayed strong. 

Ever since Micah brought in the potential job, the gang’s been humming with excitement. It seems to be a very big score and will need a lot of help for it to work. You’d like to volunteer, to contribute something, but you know you’re utterly useless right now. Mary-Beth’s only begun to explain the basics of robbing to you. However, this job sounds like it’s to come with a guaranteed gunfight. 

The day for the heist arrives and pretty much every man in the gang goes to do it. A few hours later, they return to Thieves Landing bearing bad news. Somehow the law knew the boat was going to be hit and they met the gang with fierce opposition. Poor Jenny, whom you’d just started to get to know, was shot and so was Davey and John. Dutch and Hosea start shouting for everyone to get packed up as the Pinkertons are in pursuit. 

Days go by and Thieves Landing is far behind you and the others. The gang has moved north, still trying to shake the Pinkertons off. Jenny passed away two days ago, but no one has been able to bury her as a massive snowstorm moved in shortly after she passed. 

Moral is at an all-time low, yours included. You wouldn’t dream of leaving though, these people have become your close friends and even border on something like a family. Grimshaw tries to encourage everyone to stay positive, but it’s clear she doesn’t feel it much either. 

Night falls once again as the wagon train goes along a narrow pass, the horses trudging through the thick snow. The weather has stayed horrible for days, dumping the white powder in great heaps. The Pinkertons haven’t been seen in the past two days. Perhaps this means the gang can finally find somewhere to hide. Dutch sent Arthur out a few hours ago to scout, along with John and Micah. 

Arthur returns just as Abigail makes note that Davey is nearly dead. He reports that he found a place to shelter and guides the train there. It’s a small town named Colter according to a small sign by the main trail. The gang moves into the largest building but Abigail says Davey’s passed. Soon after, Dutch and Arthur go out to find what else might be around and they end up bringing back a heartbroken woman named Sadie. 

Two days go by and the weather’s hardly let up. You stand outside in the freezing, snowy morning. You just need a break from the others for a while. Even though you enjoy most of them, being cooped up in such tight quarters for so long has worn you out. However, you’re already shivering from the cold under all your layers. 

“You doin’ okay? Ya look half frozen,” a voice says from behind. You turn and see Arthur, wrapped up in his big blue coat, his face hidden beneath his hat. 

“Yeah. Yeah, just need a break. Been a tough few days.” 

“It sure has.” Suddenly a fierce blast of wind whistles down the path and Arthur wraps an arm around you as though to protect you from it. As you lack a hat and your head’s covered only by a thin blanket, you bury your head into his chest. He lets you though, but as soon as the wind dies a little you pull away from him, your face red. You blame it on the cold wind. 

However, something changes with your view of Arthur. Sure, you’ve seen him comforting most people in the gang and he’s known for being caring and gentle, interested in all movements in the gang. But you were never a receiver of that care until now. You try denying your feelings, saying you’ve just been isolated for too long. 

Nearly a week goes by and you’ve tried keeping distance between yourself and Arthur, believing your feelings will cool down with the space. The weather finally breaks and Hosea suggests camping in a new place he knows in the Heartlands. The gang is moved into action finally and the wagon train moves down to it. 

It’s a great relief to finally be surrounded by trees and green rather than white and feel the warm sun instead of cold wind. The new camp spot, Horseshoe Overlook, is beautiful. Immediately you’re set to work by Grimshaw, but when night falls, you’re allowed to rest. 

You stand on the edge of camp near the cliff, overlooking the river and the canyon. This place is beautiful. You’ve rarely seen this much moving water, being from the desert. Arthur walks over with two bowls of stew. 

“Here, noticed you ain’t eaten yet.” He hands you one and you thank him. 

The two of you stand together, eating without speaking for a few moments. 

“So, now you been with us a while and seen us at our best and worst,” Arthur says, “what you thinkin’ of doing?” 

“How do you mean?” 

“I mean what you plan on doin’? You gonna stay or you thinkin’ of movin’ on? No one would blame you if you decided to leave.” 

“Do you… want me to leave?” you say with a pang. 

“No. No, far from it. I think you could easily find a place among us. Seems like you already have too. Pretty much everyone here likes ya.” 

You blush a little and look away. “I think I wanna stay. I like it here.” 

He smiles a little, his blue eyes shining. You feel a surge of desire to hug him, your heart beating a bit faster. “Well, good. Like I said, think you’ll fit in easy.” 

He takes your empty plate and heads off, leaving you alone. You turn and watch him, wanting nothing more than to be with him. Part of you wishes he’d come back to you, but he heads off to sit next to John and Hosea at the campfire. You turn back to watch the sunset, trying to push him out of your mind. It won’t do you any favors.

The next morning, you’re sitting with the other girls doing chores. Mary-Beth turns to you. “So, saw you blushing when Arthur said good mornin’ to you.” She gives you a sly look. 

“I… I thought I had to sneeze right when he spoke to me,” you lie. 

“It’s okay if you like him,” she says consolingly. “To be honest, I think we all developed a little thing for him in the beginning. I did anyways.” 

“I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t,” Tilly says. “But, do yourself a favor, Y/N. Move on from him. I ain’t sayin’ that out of selfishness or cruelty, but Arthur’s unavailable.” 

“I didn’t know he had someone,” you say sadly. 

“Well, he doesn’t anymore, but he can’t seem to move on from her,” Mary-Beth explains. 

As if on queue, Arthur walks out of his tent, reading a letter. Susan walks up to him and they exchange words. You hear the name Mary and Susan tells him she never liked her. He says something to her and then heads out. 

“And there he goes, off to see her,” Karen says sourly. “She barely has to say his name and he’ll move mountains to see her.” 

Your heart sinks even further. You’d just begun to accept the fact that you have some strong feelings for Arthur, but this is a harsh blow. If he’s still attached to this woman, it means he’s definitely not interested in you. It’d be best if you give him up. 

Night comes and Arthur’s returned. Once again, he brings you a plate of food as you stand near the cliff. A long silence passes between the two of you, your mind heavy. 

“You okay? Awful quiet,” he says. 

“I’m doin’ just fine, Arthur, thank you though,” you say somewhat coldly. You mentally make a note to be a little nicer. It’s not his fault you’ve got a crush on him. 

“You sure? If ya need to talk, I’m always willin’ to listen. I want ya to be happy.” 

God, why does he have to be so sweet yet so unavailable? It’s incredibly frustrating. You turn to him. 

“Well, maybe you can help. Have you ever had real strong feelings for someone? Someone you couldn’t be with because you know they’d never want to be with you, and because they’re hung up on someone else?”

He gives you a curious look. “Who you talkin’ about?” His face falls a bit. “It’s John, ain’t it? You got a thing for him, don’t ya?”

Is that envy in his eyes? “J-John? No, Arthur, I don’t have a thing for John. Sure he’s nice and funny, but he’s not my type. Plus I think Abigail would murder anyone who tried anything with him.” 

His face lightens up a bit. “I think you’re right there. Well, I don’t know much about relationships. Pretty useless, in fact.” 

You smile up at him. “Well, thought I’d ask.” 

“Who is this person?” he asks. “Anyone I know?” 

“Definitely. He’s… someone in this gang, but like I said, he’s emotionally unavailable. Besides, I wouldn’t stand a chance with him.” 

“Ah, don’t sell yourself short.” He sighs a little. “Well, maybe you just need to walk up to this feller, tell him exactly how you feel.” 

“Okay. Arthur, I like you.” 

“Exactly. Just like that.” He smiles. “See? It ain’t so hard.” 

“No, Arthur, you’re not listening to me,” you say, your face beat red. “I said I like you.” 

He blinks and straightens up a bit. He looks shocked. Or maybe that’s anger. Fear stings your stomach and you take a step back. 

“I… I’m sorry. I was… just practicing.” You turn to walk away, deciding never to be alone with Arthur again. You can’t blame him for being angry either. You wouldn’t like you if you were him. 

“Y/N, wait.” His hand’s on your shoulders. “Did you mean it?” 

You look down at your feet. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I didn’t choose to like you, and I’m sorry for it. Not because you’re not a good man,” you say hastily at the look on his face. “What I meant is I’m sorry for… me.” 

His eyes soften considerably. “Please don’t apologize. Especially for you bein’ yourself. Can I tell you a secret?” He leans in a little and whispers, “I’ve liked ya since that day up in Colter.” 

You blush even deeper. “Me too.” 

His arms suddenly slide around you, hot and gentle. Your hands are on his shoulders and he leans down, placing his lips on yours. Something flutters in your chest. It’s like a bird is trapped inside, fighting to get out. They’re slightly chapped, but the moment his lips touch yours, the bird settles and gives a satisfied purr. You lean into the kiss, sighing a little. 

“Bout time you two finally did somethin’,” Hosea says, walking past. He gives you both a sly smile. “Dutch and I been gettin’ tired of seeing you two gettin’ all dovey eyed when the other wasn’t looking.” 

You laugh and put your forehead onto Arthur’s chest, trying to hide your face as Arthur laughs. 

“Sorry, Hosea.” 

“Nah, you two kids have fun.” He walks off, chuckling a bit. Arthur looks down at you and smiles. 

“You wanna go somewhere a little more private? Try that kiss where we won’t be spied on?” 

You bite your lip and smile, nodding. Arthur takes your hand and leads you off into the trees. You pin him to a tree and kiss him hard, pressing your body on his. His arms slide up your back and wind into your hair. As the kiss deepens, you wonder where else this night will go. 

[shyeehaw]

HC’s reader defending them against Micah

Request: headcanons or reactions on how Javier, Charles, Arthur, and Sean would react to their s/o beating the crap out of Micah because he said somethin very cruel. I need some dominant s/o.

Warning: a bit of violence and some racial topics (that hurted me to write).

Sean:

From a far, as you carried on with your chores, you watched Sean.

He was snoring a bit and it was the cutest thing ever.

But the haystack you were carrying went flying over your head as soon as you saw Micah kicking his leg.

“You are lucky this ain’t my gang boy, or you would be dead by now! Useless son of a whore!”

“What the hell??”

You covered the space between you two in a matter of seconds, rage boiling guts on your gut.

“You are nothing but a jester, weakling! I don’t why Dutch keeps you around if it’s not to laugh at you. Go do some goddamn work!”

You weren’t thinking straight when you launched your body straight into Micah’s, headbutting him to the ground.

Sean, afraid for when Micah got up, grabbed your arm, but the one loose punched him right in his nose.

Before he could hit you, Sean stepped between and took a punch for you. Right in his eye, ouch.

“Yer crazy, Y/N!”, he would say later, in a worried tone, “Even crazier than I, and that’s something...”

“No one is gonna threat to kill you in front of me and walk away!”, you tried explaining.

“No, I mean this in a good way, dear! I think I’m in love!”, he would laugh, and then whine a bit when you two would kiss, because of his black eye.

Arthur:

Giving Arthur space to breath, you would get off his lap and sit beside him, a hand reassuring him as he coughed his soul out.

You would hear his cough get deeper, more worrying.

Like the spawn from hell he was, Micah materialized behind you two. A smug smile forming in his lips.

“Hey, black lung, slow down or you’ll leave them alone in this world. Can you imagine... all the things that could happen?”, he said slowly placing his hand on your arm.

“Get off me!”, you would jolt your way out of his grab.

“You are way out of line, Micah.”, Arthur would say midst coughing.

“I bet they won’t even cry! Somebody else will keep them warm, don’t you worry."

“I’m warning you! Shut the hell up before I kick your ass!”, you would say with your muscles getting contracted, itching to release all that frustration.

“I’m not afraid of you! even less him.”

“You just say that because he’s ill! Wait until he gets better and then we’ll talk.”

“Oh Y/N, no one told you? He’s as good as dead.”

That was it. Micah didn’t even had the time to flinch as you shoved him towards the tree stump you were sitting in.

That caused him to stumble and fall, what made easier to give him a kick or two before Arthur would stop you.

“Y/N, it’s not worth it-“, the tension worsening his cough, “Leave it or Dutch will kick us out.”

Hearing how unwell he was made you step back and look at what you’ve done. Micah shouldn’t have said that, not when you were feeling like this.

“I’m sorry Arthur.”, you would say hugging him, “I shouldn’t have upset you.”

“It was beautiful to watch! I’m proud... and I’m not going anywhere alright? Don’t listen to him...”, Arthur held you close as if that was a proof he would never leave you alone.

Kicking Micah’s ass couldn’t stop the awful feeling you had to recognize the truth in his words.

Javier

Only Micah was sitting around the campfire, so you and Javier decided to ignore him.

The night was so cold, and you longed for being near the fire and Javier’s arms around you.

“This gotta be the most ridiculous thing I ever seen.”, Micah would say, tsking as he watched you two, “you are the Mexican one, no need to make them wear this ugly thing.”

Your body stiffened to the provocations, Javier wasn’t bothered. But you were.

“In fact I don’t even know who is the man in this case. Is it you Y/N? Javier is too feminine for that, I reckon.”

“That doesn’t concern you, idiota!”

“It would confuse your little pea brain, Micah.”, you growled.

“I was just askin... besides, if it’s you Javier you are not doing a good job, look how grumpy Y/N is.”

You got up only to spit in Micah’s direction, Javier was laughing, amused by the fire burning in your eyes.

“Ooh I get it now! The ugly ‘poncho’ it’s to hide his ugly scar. Don’t worry Javier, I would too.”

You knew how insecure he was about it, and that was the final straw.

Jumping on Micah you rearranged his face to many shades of red and purple.

“Ay Y/N cuidado!”, he would say as he held you, your legs up in the air, but still kicking.

Micah would stand up again and clean the blood off his creepy smile. A malicious laughter fiilling the air. 

“Mi amor, that was...hot.”, Javier would say with a proud smile on his face, knowing now just how fierce his love was.

“Are you alright?”, he would say checking your body for any injuries.

And then sweeping you up in a heated kiss, showing just how sexy he thought that was.

Charles:

“I’m just saying it’s not good for business, Dutch, to be associated with the likes of Charles, that Lenny kid...”

You stopped on your tracks, hearing the name of your man. Turning around, you followed the sound towards Dutch’s tent.

“I don’t know what you mean Mr. Bell.”, Dutch would say, challenging him to say the nasty stuff he was implying.

With your ear glued to the tent, you heard all kinds of awful stuff. It made you sick how someone that lived in the same space that you and Charles could even think that.

Whistling as he was done to fill Dutch’s ears, Micah left the tent, carefree.

Only for you to throw your steaming hot coffee at his face.

“Since you want to talk shit about skin, tell me later how yours is looking.”

Micah screamed in pain, and in wrath, grabbing you by the arm.

Charles dropped the stew he was eating, when he recognized one of the blurs rolling around the floor.

Lifting Micah effortlessly and throwing him far from you, Charles had a shocked expression spreading stamped on his face.

“What in the world...? What happened Y|N?”, he would ask, barely able to keep calm, carrying you away far from the burned man.

“He got what his loud mouth deserved Charles!”, you said, adrenaline still preventing you from feeling your wounds, “He doesn’t understand consequences but now he got a taste of it.”

“How did this happen?”

But it took only a look at your guilty face to know it was about him.

“I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me, my dear.”, he would say lifting your head with his finger, so you would look him in the eye, “I can take care of myself.”

“I know that! But I couldn’t stand the things he was saying...”

“I can take care of myself but it makes me happy that you do too.”, he gave you a soft kiss, showing his gratitude.

His whole life, Charles had no one else to count on, he was not used to it, but certainly not averse to the idea as well.

[gadgetsrevv]

Transfer Talk: Third time’s a charm? Barca prep final Neymar bid

ESPN FC’s Craig Burley reacts to some of the hottest takes from the weekend’s football action around the globe.

Steve Nicol and Craig Burley get heated with Gab Marcotti over whether Matthijs de Ligt should have spent Juventus’ opening match on the bench.

Craig Burley breaks down how Maurizio Sarri could balance Juventus’ attack to give Cristiano Ronaldo more chances at goal.

ESPN FC’s Stewart Robson and Alexis Nunes discussed what Robert Lewandowski needs to do to in order to remain a top class striker for years to come.

James Rodriguez seemed frozen out at Real Madrid, but after starting their last match, does the Colombian have a place in Zinedine Zidane’s squad?

The Premier League transfer window has closed, but the rest of Europe remains open for business. Plus, it’s never too late to look forward to January! Click here to view the latest transfers and keep up to date with the latest gossip below.

Crunch time as Barca prepare final Neymar bid

With one week to go until the end of the European transfer window, Neymar‘s name continues to dominate the headlines. 

Left out of PSG’s game 4-0 win against Toulouse at the weekend but with boss Thomas Tuchel suggesting he wants to keep the Brazilian striker in the French capital, sources have told ESPN FC’s Moises Llorens that that Barca are preparing one last bid for Neymar’s services.

Barca are one of three clubs, alongside Real Madrid and Juventus, looking to sign the 27-year-old, but sources have said that Barca CEO Oscar Grau, director Eric Abidal and executive Javier Bordas will meet with PSG sporting director Leonardo on Tuesday.

The offer is supposed be a €170 million loan deal with an obligatory option to buy back Neymar’s contract after one season, and could include a player such as Ousmane Dembele going to PSG. 

The latest offer would be the third attempt to get Neymar back to Barcelona. Previous offers have include Ivan Rakitic and Philippe Coutinho, who is now at Bayern Munich.

Injuries to Kylian Mbappe and Edinson Cavani at the weekend could yet hamper the deal, plus PSG’ owners are still seemingly reluctant to let go of their star man.

Expect this one to go the distance!

Ozil going nowhere, says agent

When Mesut Ozil was left out of the Arsenal squad to face Liverpool on Saturday, it suggested to many that the German international would be on his way before the end of the European transfer window. However, Turkish-football.com are reporting that Ozil’s agent is insisting the player is staying in London this summer.

Ozil is yet to play a game this season but there have been mixed reports about his intentions for the year ahead. His omission at the weekend caused some English tabloids to put two and two together and report he was planning on making a move.

Now, however, Ozil’s agent is insisting it has merely been a stressful few weeks after the player missed the first game of the season due to security concerns after two men were arrested outside of his London home. Ozil then missed the Burnley game due to illness, and his agent says that Ozil is training hard to work his way back into the team, and looking forward to the rest of the season at the Emirates.

Tap-ins

– The Gareth Bale saga looks like it could finally come to a climax this week, with the Welshman set to stay in Madrid. This comes as a result of Zinedine Zidane’s U-turn. Speaking after his side’s disappointing draw with Real Valladolid at the weekend, the Frenchman said that Bale wanted to stay at the club and that the club themselves were now counting on him this season. 

– Arsenal defender Nacho Monreal looks likely to join Spanish side Real Sociedad this week, the Sun reports. Gunners boss Unai Emery appears happy for Monreal to leave when his contract runs out at the end of the season, but similarly he won’t stand in the defender’s way if he wants to leave before the European transfer window closes. Sociedad are offering Monreal a two-year deal with the option of a third year. 

– According to Tuttosport, Spurs striker Fernando Llorente will sign for Napoli this Tuesday. They’re reporting that the Spaniard will join the Italian club on a two-year contract, with an option to extend it. The striker is set to earn €2.5m a year.

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[jobsearchtips02]

13 pictures shows how Mexico is becoming the brand-new coronavirus hotspo

Rosa Leyva (R) and her nephew Viridiana wait on consumers at her stall where she offers plastic flower arrangements and religious images, outside the San Rafael cemetery, in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, on May 7,2020

Jose Luis Gonzalez/Reuters.

With the seventh-highest global death toll worldwide, Mexico is catching up to Brazil as one of the worst-affected Latin American nations.

The country has actually been slow in clamping down on the outbreak after many public officials, consisting of President Andrés Manuel López Obrador, declined to acknowledge its intensity for a long time.

However the government’s handling has not been the only problem: Lots of Mexicans have actually established a preconception around the infection, and believe that it is a scam or not as bad as it seems.

It has likewise affected the country’s health care workers, who are dealing with widespread abuse from people who think they are assisting spread out the infection.

While Mexico has yet to reach peak infections, authorities are pressing ahead with plans to resume the economy.

Pictures reveal what it resembles in the nation as it attempts to deal with the coronavirus amid the turmoil.

Check out Company Insider’s homepage for more stories

With more than 15,000 deaths, it officially has the seventh-highest worldwide death toll, according to a tracker by John Hopkins University.

However as the numbers continue to climb, the nation still plans to gradually reopen its economy as it deals with mounting pressure from United States officials to power up factories operating at the US-Mexico border.

Photos show what it resembles in Mexico as it deals with one of the worst crises in the history of its country.

Like much of Latin America, Mexico is currently becoming the new center of the unique coronavirus.

Monica Samudio, 46, whose spouse Jorge Garcia passed away from COVID-19, watches out of her new house in Mexico City on April 29,2020 Samudio stated she moved from her previous house after feeling victimized when she and her husband contracted the illness.

Edgard Garrido/Reuters.

Mexico has the second-worst death toll in South America after Brazil, according to John Hopkins University.

Throughout the pandemic, Mexico has been extremely sluggish to react. For a long period of time, public officials– consisting of President Andrés Manuel López Obrador– did not take the virus seriously and were adamant about prioritizing the economy.

Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador speaks at the National Palace in Mexico City on April 5,2020

Associated Press.

Up till the last week of March, the country was still operating as regular in an effort to keep the economy running.

And it’s paying the rate. To date, the nation has almost 130,000 validated coronavirus cases and more than 15,000 deaths, although the figures are feared to be much higher.

A crematory employee pushes the body of an individual who passed away of the coronavirus into a cremation oven at a crematory in Nezahualcoyotl in Mexico City on May 19,2020

Edgard Garrido/Reuters.

According to an investigation by Sky News, government experts say the figures are “hopelessly incorrect” and are underestimated by at least a factor of 5.

Source: Worldometer

The number of infections and deaths is only anticipated to rise, with health authorities predicting the nation is still weeks away from its peak.

Marco bids farewell after a video call with his partner Carla, a patient contaminated with the coronavirus, as part of a support strategy families at Ajusco General Hospital in Mexico City, Mexico, on May 15,2020

Edgard Garrido/Reuters.

Mexico’s Deputy Health Minister Hugo Lopez-Gatell said in a press conference on Tuesday: “We still haven’t reached the maximum point. For several more weeks, we will keep announcing these are more cases today than yesterday,” according to Reuters.

However regardless of the alarming boost in cases, the government is continuing to promote a progressive resuming of the economy.

Nogales Medical facility doctor Javier Martinez consumes outside his house while his family observes him, prior to returning to operate in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, on April 25,2020

Jose Luis Gonzalez/Reuters.

Source: Los Angeles Times

The nation has actually been under increasing pressure from US officials to resume factories that run on the border. Some organisations never closed down in the first location, which caused lots of deaths.

Employees from U.S. car parts maker Aptiv Plc arrive at the plant in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico May 18,2020

Jose Luis Gonzalez/Reuters.

Border states in the country are house to more than 6,000 “maquiladoras”, which are mostly foreign-owned factories that make products for exports.

Baja California, the Mexican state with the largest number of maquiladoras, has the second-greatest variety of Covid-19 deaths, according to the Guardian

Source: The Guardian

Outside the factories, the virus is likewise running rampant. In bigger cities, many individuals reside in poverty and can’t pay for to stay inside your home. When market-goers in Mexico City were asked whether they were frightened of the infection, they “shrugged their shoulders and stated they have higher issues to worry about– like getting food.”

Rosa Leyva (R) and her nephew Viridiana await customers at her stall where she offers plastic flower arrangements and religious images, outside the San Rafael cemetery, in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, on May 7,2020

Jose Luis Gonzalez/Reuters.

Source: Sky News

A big part of the problem is that locals appear to not be taking the pandemic seriously. Since the start of the break out, there has actually been a social stigma attached to being infected with the virus, causing lots of people not to confess they are ill in the first location.

Mourners pass up social distancing and dance throughout a ceremony adhering to native Mazahua tradition following the burial of Horacio Servando Parada, 65, who died of the coronavirus, in San Antonio Pueblo Nuevo, Mexico on May 21,2020

Gustavo Graf/Reuters.

Source: Sky News

.

.

One doctor who operates in Mexico City told Sky News:” Some people don’t even believe

it[coronavirus] exists. Patients come here and I inform them, it’s most likely COVID, they state no, that does not exist. The nationwide federal government made that up.”

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Source: Sky News

The preconception has likewise led to health care workers ending up being the topic of a series of attacks, which has included attacking them, kicking them off public transport, and barring them from leaving their houses.

Healthcare employees wearing protective suits transfer a man believed of being contaminated with the coronavirus in Mexico City on May 11,2020

Edgard Garrido/Reuters.

Mexican authorities think that the attacks are more than likely connected to reports that physicians and nurses are accountable for spreading the infection.

The country has recorded at least 44 attacks against medical personnel in between mid-March and mid-April, according to data provided to CNN by Mexico’s National Council to Avoid Discrimination.

Numerous health care workers have died, and there have been many protests requiring more personal protective devices (PPE).

A ballet dancer carries out outside a private medical facility in Monterrey, Mexico, on May 15,2020

Daniel Becerril/Reuters.

Source: New York Times

There has also been little efforts to evaluate individuals for the infection. Mexico ranks among the most affordable in Latin America, with simply 0.4 tests per 1,000 people.

Relative of a patient suffering from COVID-19 pray together outside the healthcare facility where he is interned for treatment, in Mexico City on May 19,2020

Luis Cortes/Reuters.

Source: The Guardian

The coronavirus outbreak in Mexico is revealing no indications of slowing down. Cristian Morales, the World Health Company’s Agent in Mexico, said this week: “We are experiencing one of the most complicated and most harmful minutes of the epidemic.”

The coffin of Horacio Servando Parada, 65, who passed away of COVID-19, is carried to a grave during his burial according to the native Mazahua tradition, in San Antonio Pueblo Nuevo, Mexico, on May 21,2020

Gustavo Graf/Reuters.

Source: CNN

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[blogsarahjames]

Top facts about the best footballer in the world, Lionel Messi

Lionel Messi has won the Ballon d’Or, plays for both Barcelona and the Argentinian national team, and is considered by some to be the greatest living football player in the world.

During the last year, Lionel Messi secured his sixth Ballon d'Or award after yet another brilliant season for the Argentine.

The 32-year-old saw off competition from the likes of Juventus forward Cristiano Ronaldo and Liverpool defender Virgil van Dijk to win the prestigious award.

The following are some amazing facts about Messi to prove that he is definitely one of the best in the world!

Messi’s name and nicknames

Lionel Andrés Messi Cuccittini was born in Argentina in 1987. His father, Jorge Horacio, was a blue-collar steelworker. He also coached the local youth football club for his sons.

Lionel is a diminutive of Leon, which in Latin means “lion.” But, Leo or Lio? The story behind the legend’s name is among the interesting facts everybody is interested to know about the best footballer in the world.

There are no doubts for Messi's parents. Jorge and Celia baptized him as Lionel, not by some Argentine soccer player, but by his father's iconic singer, Lionel Richie.

In 1987, the year that Lionel was born, the most popular songs in Argentina were the romantic ballads of the American composer, Lionel Richie. Although as a music legend, Richie never thought that his name would also be immortalized in the world's most popular sport.

Some of his nicknames include the Flea, La Pulga, and the Goat.

First contract on a paper napkin

Another top fact about Messi is that the man who helped Barcelona discover Messi admitted that he signed him on a paper napkin (preserved in a frame) when he was just 12 years old because he was too talented to let go.

Messi and his father, Jorge, were close to deciding against Barcelona in favor of Real Madrid when the executive Carles Rexach took matters into his own hands.

"His father felt that things were not all too clear and told me they would leave," he said. "I decided to sign him on a paper napkin that a waiter gave me because I couldn't let him get away."

Growth hormone deficiency

In fact, Messi’s first contract, signed on a napkin, was to pay for his medical treatments.

Messi has been diagnosed with a growth hormone disorder or GHD. It is often called idiopathic short stature, but there are problems that go beyond being shorter than average. The treatments were expensive, a $900 monthly expense that his modest family could not afford.

River Plate and Newell's Old Boys, storied Argentinian clubs, passed on that expense despite the promise of a very young Messi.

The treatments were injections of human growth hormone. For someone with GHD, this is a life-changer, allowing them to not only develop greater height, but also help deal with a variety of internal issues, such as pituitary function, skin and teeth problems, poor vision, and lower immunity.

Although the use of HGH is banned in almost all sports, amateur and professional, there are two exceptions that need to be clarified.

First, Messi's use was likely discontinued after he reached adulthood.  Messi could also apply for a therapeutic use exemption.

A therapeutic use exemption is granted for a player's use of a banned substance when that substance is considered medically necessary. Messi did not use HGH as a performance enhancer but he was using a prescribed treatment.

It was not till Carles Rexach, a Spanish Catalan footballer and the sporting director of FC Barcelona, came to the rescue that Messi’s career was secured. The man was aware of the young boy’s talents and thus offered help.

A controversial fact about Messi is that he is rumored to be on the autistic spectrum. There are unconfirmed reports that Messi was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (a pervasive developmental disorder on the autistic spectrum) at the age of 9.

This could disclose to some extent his exceptional sporting talent, and his unwavering focus on football, as those with Aspergers have been observed to interact differently with the world than others. Common traits include social difficulties, repetitive behavior, and on occasion extreme skill in specific areas, which could account for Messi’s remarkable ability on the pitch.

Messi’s supporters

Messi grew up with two older brothers Rodrigo Messi and Matías Messi, and would always try very hard to keep up with them.

He is quoted as saying, “I’ve always had a great relationship with my two brothers, I have always had their support in my football and in everything. They’ve been very close to me and we have a great relationship.”

The three brothers have one younger sister named María Sol Messi.

Tax fraud

Lionel Messi and his father, who managed his financial affairs, had some drama with tax law in 2016. They were not aware of the tax laws that governed Spain, so they had to pay millions of Euro to the government. They were each handed prison sentences for tax evasion but were pardoned in court.

Messi's financial affairs came under investigation in 2013 for suspected tax evasion. Offshore companies in tax havens Uruguay and Belize were used to evade €4.1 million in taxes related to sponsorship earnings between 2007 and 2009.

An unrelated shell company in Panama, set up in 2012, was identified as belonging to the Messis in the Panama Papers data leak. Messi, who pleaded ignorance of the alleged scheme, voluntarily paid arrears of €5.1 million to the authorities in August 2013.

On 6 July 2016, Messi and his father were both found guilty of tax evasion and were given suspended 21-month prison sentences and fines equivalent to €1.7 million and €1.4 million, respectively.

Messi’s wedding

Messi met his wife when he was only five years old and in June of 2017, he married his childhood friend, Antonella Roccuzzo in what was called the "wedding of the century.” The two have known each other all their lives, meeting in Argentina. Messi and Roccuzzo had two sons together, Thiago and Mateo before they got engaged.

Messi’s lavish wedding had over 260 guests at a luxury hotel. Many of the attendees were professional soccer players and other celebrities; Neymar, Luis Suarez, Cesc Fabregas, Javier Mascherano, and Carles Puyol, Pique, and Shakira were among the guests at this extravagant, star-studded wedding.

Messi’s tattoos

The Barcelona captain has gradually added to his tattoos over the years, with family being a key subject throughout the artwork. His right arm and left leg are predominantly covered in tattoos.

The only tattoos that can be found on Messi's left leg are a picture of his son Thiago's handprints along with the first-born child's name on his calf, as well as the number 10, which he wears for both club and country, and a football on his shin.

In 2018, Messi began filling his right leg just above the ankle with the names and birth-dates of all three of his sons: Thiago, Mateo, and Ciro.

At the top by the shoulder is a picture of Jesus Christ in a crown of thorns, probably inspired by his religious beliefs.

On the inside of his bicep, there is an eye, perhaps based on that of his wife Antonella Roccuzzo, though it is unclear, and a small crown.

One of the first tattoos Messi got was the face of his mother, Celia, on his left shoulder blade.

Messi’s net worth

It is estimated that Messi is worth $80 Million, making him one of the highest-paid athletes of all time. However, he said to reporters, “My motivation comes from playing the game I love. If I wasn’t paid to be a professional footballer I would willingly play for nothing.”

Messi has a lifelong endorsement deal with Adidas. The company paid him $27 million to be in their commercials and ad campaigns.

In order to raise money for the victims of the 2013 earthquake and tsunami, Messi donated a casting of his foot, which was turned into a golden statue. The golden foot was auctioned off for $5.25 Million.

He established the Leo Messi Foundation, which helps kids who are born with illnesses get medical treatments if their families cannot afford to help them. Messi is also a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF.

Messi donated almost a million dollars to rehabilitate a children’s hospital in his hometown of Rosario, Argentina. This covered repairs to the building, new machines to monitor and treat childhood cancer, and extra medical training for the doctors.

First League Debut

After he proved himself as a talented footballer, he received an offer from Frank Rijkaard, a Dutch football manager, and former player, to play his first debut league against RCD Espanyol.

It is a famous sports club in Barcelona known for its football.

Messi was only 17 years old when he got his first start and he owes it to Rijkaard. But, his international debut only lasted 47 seconds and he was sent off because of a red card after coming on as a substitute.

Re-debut

In September 2005, Messi played for Argentina in the 1-0 World Cup qualifier against Paraguay.

The teen was able to earn a very difficult and important penalty for his team.

Messi proved his talent through this achievement.

He also called this World Cup his “re-debut.”

Messidona

It was in the annual Spanish football tournament Copa del Rey that Messi proved he was just as good as Maradona.

During the semifinal match against Getafe CF, a Spanish La Liga club based in Getafe, he scored two goals.

One of these goals was like Maradona’s famous Goal of the Century that he scored in the 1986 World Cup, which was held between England and Argentina in Mexico.

Everything about that goal was similar to the goal Maradona had made 21 years earlier.

The famous Messi got a new title:  Messidona, a combination of the names.

Lionel Messi was able to replicate another Maradona goal against England in the quarterfinals of the World Cup, which is known as the Hand of God in his match against RCD Espanyol in the 2006-07 season.

He dodged the goalkeeper, Carlos Kamen, and made a remarkable goal.

Even though the opposing team protested that it was a handball, the goal was allowed.

Back-To-Back Hat Tricks

Starting from January 2010, Lionel Messi scored many hat tricks in his matches against different teams and won all these matches.

He was the first player of the Barcelona club who had earned such an achievement.

Messi scored hat tricks against Valencia and Real Zaragoza, becoming the first Barcelona player to score back-to-back hat tricks in La Liga.

He scored his 100th goal for the club during the season of 2009-10 and participated in the 200th official football match for his club against CA Osasuna in 2010.

In general, more than 100 players have scored at least a hat-trick. Lionel Messi has scored 35 La Liga hat-tricks, making him the player with the most hat-tricks in the La Liga history

Messi’s iconic goal celebration

The most often recognizable Messi celebration is that he frequently points a finger on each hand towards the sky as he makes his way back to the center-circle.

Regardless of whether he celebrates his goal with another gesture or symbolic act, Messi tends to repeat the skyward trait as well, and it's not one he's likely to give up any time soon.

Celia Olivera Cuccittini is the person to whom each and every one of those goals is dedicated: Messi's grandmother, who passed away in 1998 since it was she who encouraged the young Leo to play, she who took him to matches and who thus played a huge role in shaping the path of perhaps the greatest-ever footballer.

Messi’s awards

As an extremely talented player, Messi has won more trophies than most football players will ever dream of. Indeed, he is the best player on the planet who plays for Barcelona, where winning trophies has become a tradition.

The Argentine maestro won his first Ballon d’Or 11 years ago in 2009 and since then he has gone on to take the award in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2015, and 2019, collecting a total of 6 Ballon d’Ors so far.

Moreover, Messi has won his sixth European Golden Shoe, awarded to the player with the most league goals in any of Europe's top-flight leagues. Messi's 36 goals in 34 games in LaLiga Santander this season meant that he finished three ahead of Paris Saint-Germain's Kylian Mbappe.

Since his first match for Barcelona in 2004, Lionel Messi has won a whopping 30 trophies.

His other achievements include Champions League trophies, 10 La Liga titles, 6 Copa Del Reys, 3 UEFA Super Cups, and 3 FIFA Club World Cup.

Messi’s educational background

Messi studied in an elementary school in Naraynganj, Bangladesh. He then went to Las Heras for elementary school. Since Messi started playing soccer at a very young age, he did not have the opportunity to attend college; meanwhile, his potential has been identified by FC Barcelona.

[ellugartheplace]

By Georgina Valverde and Javier Dragustinovis

The artists’ sisters, Bettina Valverde and Juani Dragustinovis, have lived with cognitive disability and mental illness respectively and overcame isolation through intense creativity. Although they never met, both women were tied by interests and location. Residing in Los Fresnos, Texas and Matamoros, Mexico, across the Rio Grande, Bettina and Juani built a network of relationships with their community through the age-old occupations of weaving and planting. Bettina’s woven potholders and Juani’s potted plants engendered everlasting bonds with their families, friends, and neighbors. Georgina Valverde and Javier Dragustinovis present their sisters’ products as part of an installation that underlines the power of human relationships, the possibilities of indeterminacy behind order and control, and bartering as a means of creating value out of hardship and loss. “All those who believe in me” centers on exchange and references the Mexican markets or “tianguis”. At the tianguis, everyone and everything becomes visible and inclusion is an outgrowth of commerce. Seeking to imbue practicality with a sense of poetry, the artists propose a series of events where weavings and plants become currency through which the social contract may be reconsidered and renewed. * “All those who believe in me”, from the poem by Andrés Bruzzone Barcellone, an artist with Down’s syndrome.

[phawareglobal]

Omar and Javier Estevez Transcript

Twin brothers, Omar and Javier Estevez describe how they contracted pulmonary hypertension in the aftermath of 9-11. After their diagnosis they found hope and help from Caring Voice Coalition. These brothers also share how important it is to engage for a cure. Listen to “I’m Aware That I’m Rare: the phaware™ podcast” at www.phaware.global/podcast. Learn more about pulmonary hypertension at www.phaware.global. #phaware #phawarepod

My name is Javier Estevez and I'm from Staten Island, New York.

Hi. My name is Omar Estevez and I'm from Staten Island, New York City.

Javier: I'm a retired New York City police officer. I was involved, heavily involved in the World Trade Center rescue, search operations. During that time with all the toxins that were coming down, I was inhaling them, OSHA did not give us the masks for possible about a week, two weeks. I was there about 4 months after that time, after ... I already had systems until 2003 when, after chasing my daughters, they were young, I just fell down, I stopped breathing. I didn't know what it was. I went to get tested. Several doctors, they said it was the flu. It was a virus. It was different things, and then after seeing one particular pulmonologist from the police department, he said that I had a something different, he didn't now what it was basically. I had to go to a specialist. That specialist told me that I had pulmonary hypertension. First, I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis, 2003. 2011, I got a diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension. In that process I was told I would need a pair of brand new lungs because they're failing right now.

Omar: Similar story except I worked for the United States Federal Courthouse where Bernie Madoff, the guy with the mortgage bonds that's where I worked at. At the time, all I used to see is white dust coming during the 9/11 attacks. As I was actually going home one day, I noticed that I was having a hard time breathing. I also didn't have the masks and then when I seen the fire department, I asked them "Hey, why you guys have these gas masks?" They said "All the toxins in the air". So they wind up telling me to use a napkin to breathe. I started finding out with other people that something was wrong in the air. Eventually, I told my brother, I don't know why I'm having problems breathing. I went to see a specialist also, but this specialist took a long time for him to actually diagnose it. They all said that it was asthma and all they kept on giving me were these inhalers, powder inhalers and then one day, now my heart begins to hurt. Anyway, long story short, first it's 2005, Sarcoid. 2014, which was only 2 years ago, then they say pulmonary hypertension. I did a right heart catheterization and that's what it wind up to be, pulmonary hypertension.

Javier: Never saw it coming. Didn't even understand it one bit and not much of explanation either from the pulmonologist.

Omar: Bet you would think that being that we live in New York City, possibly the capital of the world we have a great deal of information, and I'm sure that they do have it. At the time, the doctors we went to, to them seemed like ... There was no even pamphlets. Nothing. All they kept on saying, asthma, asthma. Flu symptoms. Virus. Turned out to be a whole lot more than what they were saying.

Javier: 2007 was basically when I was feeling the worst. I was off by 4 or 5 years off my 20 year retirement and I told the doctor, I have to keep on going. I have a family. I have 2 young children and I want to make sure I finish my 20-year career in order to get the best pension possible. He says "I'm sorry. You can't work ever again". I push myself, I make sure I finish my 20 years and I did. In 2011 I completely finished and I was done, signed my papers and off I left. Very happy person. I'm still very, very happy and I can't believe I'm still here.

Omar: Unfortunately for me, I still continue to struggle. I'm still working. I have a family to feed. A house to pay. It's been very depressing, if you will. I really don't talk too much about it because us men, we're always told to be the breadwinners. We are originally from Honduras. We worked when we were since 7 years old. We came here to the States, we also worked. Like most kids when they go off on school vacation, they say they're going to the Boys Scouts this and that. My brother and I worked. In the fall, we rake leaves. In the winter, we shovel snow. We save that money and we travel out of the country so the kids could stay in the Boy Scouts, we were to France, Germany, so we enjoy that. Unfortunately, now the doctor tells me, "You know, Omar, not everybody gets to finish the race and you may be one of those people". Says, "You have to really consider about going on with disability" and it may be this year or possibly next year, I have no other choice.

Javier: Through the internet and through all these media, the world has become much smaller and you're able to reach out to those individuals that are going through the same conditions and ailments and illnesses and all those symptoms that you're going through, they go through it, not on a daily basis but they're going through it.

Omar: Men have our own issues and we like to be in control of things. When somebody ... You do this all your life. You get dressed. You brush your teeth. When that stops and somebody has to do it for you, it's very tough on yourself. There's issues that we don't like to talk about and that's basically intimacy and our issues with the medicines that they give us and whatnot. Sometimes, your day could be a very charging one, ten minutes later, it could be you're on the floor.

Javier: I became aware of Caring Voice Coalition. Great group of people. They assist people with different type of illnesses. They'll also assist with financially with the cost of medication which is very important. They reach out to you support wise, have questions for disability, for medical questions, there's doctor on board. I was involved through them through a friend of mine, I became active with them. Right now I'm active with them. I want to get more people involved with Caring Voice Coalition. Great, great organization that's willing to help out patients like myself and others. I became involved with them because I wanted to help others the same way that they reached out to me. I want to just pay it forward the same way that they done for me. I want to do the right thing and do pay forward for others.

Omar: I feel that when you don't speak up or you're blind, you're not going to make an issue out of it. You're basically just shutting up and you don't want no one to hear you, but the louder you speak, people will hear you. If our politicians would see people like me crying and shouting at their offices, something is going to happen. If I just stay home and watch TV and just relax and don't do anything, then the next generation is not going to benefit from me. So okay fine, I'm willing to be the guinea pig, but you know what? That person from behind me is not going to suffer what I went through. It's like our dads used to say "I came to this country to do something, not for me, but for you, so you could have that opportunity to leap ahead and become something that I wasn't able to be".

I'm Javier Estevez and I'm aware that I'm rare.

My name is Omar Estevez and I'm aware that I am rare.

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