#But god I get SO tired sometimes
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No freaking way. Just as I sat down with my favorite tea and went ‘Man I’m so happy I only have to do light editing for work today.’ My boss came in with the ‘Hey I’m giving you more [insert grueling work here]’
8D
IM MCFREAKING LOSING IT
#neil talky#I KNOW I COMPLAIN A LOT ABOUT WORK#I CHOSE TO GO INTO THE ANIMATION INDUSTRY KNOWING ITS TOUGH#BUT SOMETIMES I JUST-#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHEN WILL I SLEEP BOSS MAN#ANSWER ME#CRYING SCREAMING WAILING#I swear I love my job though#But god I get SO tired sometimes
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idle leftovers...i drew the dream from my last post
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i have too much backlog of small comic nonsense right now and im also SO tired#if you live life dramatically & beautifully like a maiden wandering on the moors with your skirts billowing emotionally when you fall over#because you are gods least favourite but most innocent & most tortured angel then sometimes it gets mixed up with stupidity in your dreams.#and you have to wake up and realise you can't always take yourself seriously. Oh the indignity of it all.#also the first one was while thinking abt oru and qif training their skills as kids - magic and cooking -#and now they are so well equipped to look after & teach 4 hungry and excited girls about this world.#it was all so we could make it here - so that we could meet - and live together.#i want kids to be safe and happy worldwide they wil inherit this planet
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📖 Myth & Sacred Scripture 📖
In Hellenic Polytheism and Mesopotamian Polytheism (and others but I don't want to speak for them) there is no sacred scripture where the words of a God are given to a myth writer and that writing is then declared holy by some form of religious authority.
The idea that myths are the literal actions of the Gods come from a concept of sacred scripture. Sacred meaning the words have holy implications or they have a fundamentally important connection to the divine. This understanding of religious writings is demonstrated in:
Protestant Christianity where the Bible is divinely inspired (usually derived from 1 Timothy 3:16 & 2 Peter 1:12). Additionally, in Trinitarian Christianity Jesus is God making his words in the Gospels the literal words of God.
Islam where the Quran are the words of God given to Mohammad via the angel Gabriel over the course of his life.
Judaism where traditionally the written Torah are the words of God given to Moses at Mt Sinai.
**There are more examples but I'm not going to try and talk about something I did not study.
This pervasive idea of scripture being the words of God embeds itself into a general view of what religion supposedly is because:
Christianity is the largest religion in the world.
Christianity is the dominant religion in English speaking countries, so when we have these discussions in English it tends to have that cultural Christian viewpoint.
Islam is the second largest religion in the world.
Islam considers the Jewish and Christian scriptures to also be given from God, but they have been corrupted in one way or another. This combination can put a mistaken emphasis on sacred scripture being a fundamental aspect of religion.
Even though Judaism is a very small religion the the written Torah is considered part of the Christian Old Testament (first five books). Christians interpret the scripture completely differently but the idea of Moses receiving the Word of God at Mt Sinai continues into Christianity from Judaism.
In many "dead religions" the closest you can come to the "words of the gods" might be the writings of ancient oracles or those who communed directly with spirits & gods. However, in Greece and Mesopotamia there was no centralized religion or continuous tradition to overview and canonize them into sacred scripture. Additionally, those are not usually what people are talking about when they refer to myth.
Myth is extremely important, but mythic literalism is a misstep people make, often due to our preconceived notions of sacred scriptures and their connection to the divine.
-dyslexic not audio proof read-
-I hope this makes sense-
#in my educated opinion?#paganism#hellenic polytheism#polytheism#helpol#myth#sacred scripture#levpag#pagan#polytheist#mesopotamian polytheism#i was writing this in another post#and it was getting so long i thought it might just be better to make it its own#i really hope this makes sense#im very tired#and my brain doesn't like functioning anymore#i genuinely do not know if my wording makes sense any more#even when i re read it sometimes it sounds write and other times i feel like im reading gibberish#gods i need that neurology appointment#this wasn't editing a repost so thats why i worry#ofthetheoi#landof2rivers#steppingontoes
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sometimes. what i like to read or write in fic or just generally play around with.... is different and, dare i say, sometimes even contradicting to what i think the canonical reading is offering. like yeah he would not fucking say that but every once in a while i do like to indulge. sue me
#*mine#mona rambles#people do be taking things so seriously these days like#sometimes i just wanna see a silly lil oneshot where the blorbo du jour Fucks Shit Up and go#idk where this weird idea comes from to assume everything i ever write down in a fic or in some rambly headcanon post is like#equivalent to saying 'i think this is what the text says' like???#the text says they had wives and are straight and don't fuck their brothers too like. come on now#and i don't mean this in a dismissal of/disdain for canon sort of way either#i hate the whole 'fuck canon i know better' attitude that's not what i'm talking about#i mean this more in a. not every oneshot i write is a 'this is a meta-analysis of textual realities'#and more a 'okay this absolutely isn't canon but what if it WERE#let's explore'#sometimes you just gotta pat canon on the head tell it i love you and i know this isn't you but I'm going to anyway <3#peace and love. etc etc#god i know people will so wildly misinterpret this as a 'she doesn't even care about canon then what is even the point 🙄'#or a 'YEAH FUCK CANON I KNOW BETTER 😤' kind of way i'm already tired#to the three people who'll get it ily tho <3#i do think the crux is the awareness yk. like. knowing deviation or smthg. anyway#bisexuality. love wins <3
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i don’t want to jump the gun, but i think hwang daseul might have just done it again. two episodes in to let free the curse of taekwondo and i am obsessed. more than obsessed. transfixed. this show feels special in a way hwang daseul’s touch only can give, and just using these two episodes to compare to her previous works, i love that i can already spot the continuity in the kinds of stories she tells, the messages she portrays and how she portrays them. she just knows how to let her characters exist in harmful and difficult places and show how their experiences affect them while also just showing them as normal human beings. it is so so easy to overdramatise these kinds of stories that have these difficult topics and have it be so surface level, but she has never done that. instead, she shows how those experiences shape a person and how they go about living in spite of them. all the way from where your eyes linger to now, she gives us characters that are wholly themselves and not just the traumas they have gone through and i just adore that. i can’t remember what i was talking about specifically, but i remember talking about this sentiment and how it actually helps to build empathy in an audience as opposed to just showing a difficult topic at the most surface level bc you think that makes it accessible and easier to understand and hence empathise with. i don’t think that ever works. it’s only when you do what hwang daseul does, when you give us characters we can get to know and fall in love with and care for that you help us to empathise with their experiences. it’s hard to understand the weight and the hardship of experiencing something traumatic, but when something bad happens to someone close to you, a family member or a friend, you understand and feel that pain astronomically more. that’s what hwang daseul manages to do. and more so, she makes you feel that while also seeing these people as people. you get to see them away from the hurt, you see them smile in moments of happiness and you see that too with people you’re close to, and you feel even more how special and important those moments of happiness are.
and that’s why, whenever hwang daseul is at the helm of something, i will be seated from start to end with endless boxes of tissues ready. i can’t wait to see what else this show has in store.
#let free the curse of taekwondo#oh I am so BACK#not to get too personal but god#i have been so tired bc of work#i have literally done so many long days and been so busy and so stressed#and I haven’t vibed with a bl for so long I mean I hear the sunspot was all I cared about for a bit#and im watching jack and joker now but I didn’t know if I had fallen out of love with bl#but what I think it is is i just needed something to really get my teeth into#fluff and silly fun is good I won’t ever knock it I love it I watch it#but when I have so little time I just feel myself getting impatient watching it sometimes bc I can’t sink my teeth into it#like I won’t be at work vibrating bc I know when I get home I’ll get to watch the next episode#this is what I needed#like this makes me feel alive like all my passion is invigorated again and I just feel the rants coming#and that just makes me so happy I can’t even say#I don’t wanna get emo but this show already makes me emo so#I just love being here#I love it
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It's that time of night when calling up a friend and asking for casual sex feels like a good idea
#spoiler alert it's not#a girl has needs and enough social anxiety to kill an elephant#i do not have that kinda friendship with my guy friends#but god do i wish i had sometimes#i saw some posts on women getting murdered by their dates so uhhh I'm taking a step back from online dating again#so only logical solution would be a guy i trust and that i like but noooo#jesus christ I'm so tired someone take this phone from me
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Feel free to ignore, I just have the need to yell my frustration :
I dropped out. Anyway, thankfully, I can start a 19-hour schedule in start/mid January, so I´m very happy about that, but I'm still extremely disappointed in myself and my "health."
#no art just talk#some teachers even came up and asked why as im apparently doing good in their hours#like idk maybe because my absence is over fifty and i keep getting sick??#im just so tired of having to explain myself#and theres always those that are like but you did all this and then its like four things in a week...#like sometimes can do those few things that make me feel better that i cant even do half of the time i can suddenly do everything??#trust me im disappointed in myself too#and i have gotten permission to stay and all with as much absence i want and everyone keeps rubbing it in my face#not everyone but theres still some and its so frustrating its as if they think it will solve everything#and by gods do i wish it would but i wont
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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the evening bus at my college keeps not showing up so i have to walk through the woods and also past the singlular vending machine that sells coca cola. ive decided every time my bus doesn't show up and i have to walk home im going to reblog this to show how incompetent my school is <3
#The bus schedule was FINE last year idk WHY it just is dogshit rn#the morning bus is CONSISTENTLY late. Every Time#I do not understand. What the fuck are you guys doing#they have a bus tracker app BUT I guess they must be short a bus or something??#because I keep getting alerts saying “oh bus 5 is this random blue bus that isn't on the app please refer to the bus schedule”#Oh you mean the bus schedule that they never follow consistently??#they will switch the blue bus around like. to bus 3 and 6 etc they change it up#anyways. God I'm so fucking annoyed#I don't mind walking but like dude c'mon sometimes I'm tired as hell and starving and I don't wanna walk through the pitch black woods#lilac post#bus post
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Jonathan in my Itakiss AU:
#this has sat in the drafts since august and now I think it’s time to share it with the world#keeping the tags from august cause the facts are still correct#one of the posters of Steve is supposed to be him surrounded by roses#sometimes there will be a panel in shouts where the love interest has some flowers around him#*shoujo (gotta love auto correct am I right?/sarcastic)#since this is a shitpost I tried to make it funny#that’s why you get some cursed looking Steve’s#god I love this au so much (says this while the other aus I have come up with figuratively stare at me#)#I finished drawing this with a horrible headache after a long two hour car ride to meet my younger cousins who live in a different province#it was after I got back home because we were there for the day only#you can tell that I got lazy at some point but it’s a shitpost so I do not care and also it was late at night and I was tired#stranger things#jonathan byers#stonathan#itakiss au#emily shitposts
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
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🍄🌹🍄🌹🍄🌹🍄
#wishfulreverie#god I need to cut my hair so bad lol I get tired of it sometimes it doesn’t cooperate at all#wishfulreverie 🍑
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#I'm sorry I'm behind on asks I feel like it never fucking ends#can't talk to family about it. they worry too much. cant talk to friends about it. they just start giving unwarranted (well meaning) advice#and plus they basically live with me atp with how often they're over helping me fuck do I do?? bother them more??#dude it's embaressing even if it's not chronic shit it's just unlucky shit like how u gonna have an allergic reaction & then seizure same d#idk about therapy therapists scare me. it's not a therapy issue though I'm just tired and in pain all the fucking time#one more person says “same omg” or “well have you tried-” i will start cutting peoples throat and eating their livers#you do NOT know what it's like having to write your own will before 30 like this shit aint right shit aint fair#makes me petty and shit too people who are healthy like can you just fucking suffer why do you get that freedom but not me#it just never ends#like I really fucking hate it when people say “oh you have so much to live for” because no I don't#Not so sound like a right winger gosh dang god fearer but like deadass people focus so heavily on “mental health!!” they don't#realize even if you feel better and get therapy or shit that's not gonna be realistically helpful for anything physical going on in sm#it's a cycle even if you manage 1 thing - the medications cause a 2nd thing#and that's alongside all the OTHER things you take medications for which cause all those other things#it's like multiplying and makes your body slowly deplete but like never quite die. like I know realistically I can just die anyday#and yeah it is getting worse but it's no different because it's not about that#when you're sick it's not just “OMG DYING!!!” it's like. everything else in your life dies.#you can't cook for yourself. you can't clean. you can't move. you can't hang out with people anymore. you can barely work LMFAO.#I'm REALLY close to quitting it's not even funny lmao. cant put clothes on without struggling.#do people not know it's. physically impossible. to even eat sometimes. just vomit it all up or seize.#yeah it does make me petty#rant
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damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
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There are SO many cool interactions and lore things we can look forward to now that Rubius says he'll come back to QSMP (not only as an angel / demon, but potentially as a human too!), but that little detail reminded me of something:
Even though q!Vegetta and q!Rubius were mutually interested in each other wayyyy back in the beginning of the series, as an Angel / Demon, Rubius said he can't have relationships with humans because it's against the rules.
But a bit ago on stream, Rubius said that he's thinking about having a "human" side so he can build and do more things on the server as a regular player. I'm excited because this means he can have more casual interactions with people and we can see him interacting with his friends more (and he can experience The Horrors), but also...
I think we're in for some very interesting drama in the next few weeks.*
* ( Assuming Rubius doesn't get harassed off the server by toxic shippers and weird fans of the Eggs again. Please be nice to Rubius and welcome him back kindly, he's a very cool guy and his character is SO interesting )
#Full disclosure: shipping stuff always comes second (or dead last) to fun random interactions and dumb bits between friends#I'm more excited about Rubius coming back PERIOD#but u know. the potential for some Rubegetta crumbs or full-course meals is a fun little bonus for yours truly#i talk#qsmp talk#Anyways like I said#god forbid I see anyone being freaks about Rubius again because it'll be ON SIGHT#''But FooIi//getta is-'' I Simply Do Not Care#I don't care about fictional ships I want Rubius to interact with his friends on the server without fans being freaks about it#(I'd like to reiterate I have nothing against that ship I'm just very tired of seeing people being weird to Rubius because of it)#(because they think he ''gets in the way'' or whatever)#I will say that's one massive advantage Karmaland had over QSMP#characters could flirt or make out or bang or whatever and fans would just laugh it off because It Wasn't That Deep (usually)#I think a lot of the younger fans (...and many English fans...) need to adopt this mindset#I'm looking forward to seeing how Vegetta handles it though because knowing him... it'll be very interesting...#<-- I say this knowing full well they're just going to be their normal idiot selves and I'm so glad about it#I miss seeing Vegetta and Rubius interacting they're so funny together and they have a beautiful friendship#I do have my head in my hands listening to them talk sometimes though LMAO
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icl its hard being a young Christian
#no one at ur age takes God seriously#and sometimes you dont either#you go to ur christian union and they start talking about how hell isnt a real place#all of your friends think youre weird#and who wants to be weird#i get that were supposed to be different from the rest of the world but being different is scary#im just so tired#christianity#christian blog#christian faith#prayer request
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