#But also if I don't post this now I'll forget about it

[patricia-taxxon]

I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.

In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.

A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.

Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.

And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.

It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.

During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.

[macaiv]

I don't want to go back and discuss the "bad teammate" and "crash happy" narrative that most F1 media outlets and journalists love pandering but the recent article/articles talking Haas' rules of engagement with their drivers wherein the journalists makes statements on "Ocon's checkered history with teammates" whilst not adding any context to the incidents, making it seem that Esteban was the main problem irks me so much.

Mind you, all Komatsu said were standard rules given by all teams to their drivers. He did not once single out Esteban in his comments nor did he ever say or imply that it was rules specifically made for Esteban. Let's also not forget when Komatsu was specifically asked about the teammate incidents this is what he said, "If I was worried about that, I wouldn't sign him."

F1 journalists found a driver they can easily villainize and they are sticking to the narrative, no matter how false and unfair it is, because it earns them easy clicks and engagement.

I had planned to make a post talking about Esteban and his teammates clashes with a bit more background and now I have more reason to finish writing it. I'm not going to discuss all the crashes/clashes individually (on that matter you may refer to this post) but I will be showing some information/opinions that people may not have seen or remembered or purposefully ignored.

Perez

Ben Hunt wrote a good summary so i'll just include it here:

"He initially had a good partnership with Sergio Perez at Force India but their relationship deteriorated. However, if we are being honest, Ocon was not entirely to blame. The two fell out in Canada in 2017 when Perez failed to follow a team request to allow Ocon pass. They made contact at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix and blamed each other. The two made contact again at Hungary and then Perez accepted the responsibility at the Belgian Grand Prix for clashing into Eau Rouge and then later again at the same spot in the race, costing Ocon his front wing as the Mexican suffered a tyre puncture. And they also crashed at the Singapore GP in 2018- that time Perez sent Ocon into the wall and out of the race." (Source: autosport.com)

Let's breakdown his summary and include articles/statements said at the time of the incidents:

Canada 2017 - Perez failed to follow a team request to allow Ocon to pass

Based on my research, it wasn't so much a team order but more indecision from the pitwall to issue an actual team order. The team did make a couple of poor attempts to "suggest" that Checo move aside to allow a "faster" Esteban through to try and attack Daniel. Reading the analysis on how Force India fumbled their podium chances was interesting. You can read them here if you're interested: Motorsport.com and ESPN.

Baku 2017 - They made contact at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix and blamed each other

"Perez was furious with Ocon's driving after the race and ahead of the Austrian Grand Prix said his young teammate needs to "understand what racing means". Ocon said the team believed both of them were equally to blame for the incident. "After the race I took a plane to go to Silverstone to review [the incident] with the team," said Ocon. "They prepared some notes with what they thought and we came to the conclusion that it was a 50/50. "It was not only my fault, not only Sergio's fault but it was both of our fault. There were things he did that were not right, there are things I did which were not right so overall it makes a race incident and 50/50." (Source: ESPN)

Hungary 2017 - The two made contact again at Hungary

"Sergio Perez he defended his behavior, justifying it with the chaos on the track at the time: “I had Vandoorne next to me and I had to avoid him, there was no room for three cars. We had a little contact, I damaged my front wing a bit but we managed to continue. We have given our opinions and everything is fine. I couldn't go anywhere." (Source: Motorionline)

Spa 2017 - Perez accepted the responsibility at the Belgian Grand Prix for clashing in Eau Rouge and then later again at the same spot in the race

"Perez said: "First-lap incident was 100% my fault. I didn't have the the right engine mode selected so I had 50% of the power. "My incident. The second one I think Esteban was too optimistic. There was no need to touch there. He could have lifted and then we could carry on." (Source: BBC)

I'll also include what Jacques Villeneuve views on the 2nd incident.

"It doesn't matter that it's his team-mate," he said. Team-mate, no team-mate, it should not have happened between two drivers. You're not so supposed to put anyone in danger. You can brake too late, make a mistake, fine, but down the straight you don't weave and squish, you just don't do that. It's ridiculous. "A piece of carbon went outside of the track. You can hurt someone from the public. This has to be stopped. "That kind of move from Perez is not racing, it's pure blocking. You don't do that. It's aggressive. It's dirty." Villeneuve was surprised the stewards did not to take any action against Perez. "This is the most dangerous thing you can do in racing and they never penalise that in F1," he said. "Sometimes, people crash into each other because they messed up their braking and they fighting. That should not be penalised but they penalise that because there was an accident. "This was embarrassing. They don't give a penalty for it, especially when the FIA is pushing so much the safety. "Even a four-year-old could see it. It's ridiculous." (Source: Autosport)

Another thing, I discovered that Vijay Mallya, the Force India Team Principal and Owner, retweeted Esteban's infamous tweet at that time. In my opinion we can guess whose side he was on regarding the Spa crashes based of this.

Singapore 2018 - They also crashed at the Singapore GP in 2018 - that time Perez sent Ocon into the wall and out of the race

Sergio Perez apologized to his Force India team for the contact with Esteban Ocon that saw his teammate retire on the opening lap of the Singapore Grand Prix. Ocon was attempting to pass Perez around the outside of Turn 3 when the pair touched on the exit of the corner, resulting in Ocon crashing into the wall. Perez later struggled to pass Sergey Sirotkin and also hit the Williams as his chance of points disappeared, and he insists he was unaware of where his teammate was at the start. “It was a very unfortunate incident, one of those that is very hard to avoid,” Perez said. “As I was picking up the power I felt a clip from one car, not even realizing that was Esteban and then, as I get a message from the team, I was very sorry for that. (Source: Racer.com)

Here is what Otmar Szafnauer had to say about the incident:

And it seems Szafnauer has put the blame on Perez, believing the Mexican should have had the awareness to ensure enough room was given to his team mate. “You say to him that is unacceptable. There’s enough room on the left-hand side that I could see. You’ve got to give your team mate enough room. (Source: Formula1.com)

Alonso

From the same Ben Hunt article:

Then there was Ocon's partnership with Fernando Alonso, someone who himself has often faced questions about his role as a team player. The two tangled during their time with Alpine, but again, the responsibility for the bad blood cannot always be pinned 100% on Ocon. (Source: autosport.com)

I could discuss their multiple first lap battles, battles during races or their only crash (Brazil GP 2022) wherein Fernando was deemed wholly responsible for but Alonso himself summed it up well enough:

“OK, I take the penalty, I take the blame for that, but the races are on Sunday and anything can happen, as we saw. In two years I think we had one mistake; it was [on Saturday], we [both] got a lot of blame. We’ll take it, but I think we try to help the team every time we jump in the car, as we saw [in the race]. “It has been two years [of racing] clean. Some first laps we had some fights, because we start always together, we qualify very close. So in two years, we had one contact. OK, people want to do a big thing about that. But we have one contact in two years and [on Sunday] we recover everything we did [in the Sprint]. So we try to do the best for the team.” (Source: Racer.com)

I'll also include what Fernando had to say about Esteban after the Miami GP 2024. I know they weren't teammates anymore but I think with Fernando, he is more truthful when he doesn't have an agenda.

Regarding the battles during the race, specifically against Ocon, he recalled to AS: “It was entertaining. A tough but safe fight, with respect. Esteban makes it difficult for you but you have fun with him because he is a driver who usually respects you. (Source: as.com)

I always thought Esteban and Fernando were good teammates, on and off track. This was, of course, before Fernando started an agenda against him but besides that they did work well together. I could mention a lot of situations but my favourite (and one barely even talked about) on-track teamwork from them was during Brazil GP 2022. Here is a summary of what they did. This instagram user explained quite well:

Gasly

Spare me the narrative that it was only Esteban who was aggressive when it came to racing each other. Both of them had their moments but while Esteban didn't complain, Pierre was the opposite. Call me biased or whatever but based on my own observation he was quite quick in putting down his teammate and vocalizing any perceived slight in public when it suited him.

People love to point out every mistake and/or aggressive driving maneuvers done by Esteban but they seem to be conveniently blind when it comes to Pierre's. So I may as well mention some other races wherein Pierre wasn't so innocent like in Austin GP 2023, Japan GP 2024 and Miami GP 2024.

Australia 2023

Palmer's Analysis on the Australia incident:

The other big losers from this restart were Alpine, particularly Gasly, and again Gasly could kind of blame himself into this first corner because we picked them up again, science and Gasly, the instigators at the front for some drama. Gasly goes in way too deep, he's not got the tight-up on the front, he's out-braked himself and he's going to potentially go into the rear of Alonso, just about avoids him and can breathe a sigh of relief as he bounces over the grass, Alonso gets tipped by science and now Gasly's rejoining off the road into the path of Ocon, everyone sweeps around and then Ocon fancies a little look to the outside of Gasly and we're going to get the contact. So we jump on board with Esteban Ocon and you can see how the starts would play out behind. It was a lot more measured for these guys, Ocon running in the points and they're on the brakes, Hulkenberg ahead, Norris ahead, these guys are under control, you've got a chancy Yuki Tsunoda on the right-hand side there and they all make it through, Alonso there is spinning out and now Ocon sees a chance to go to the outside of Gasly. There is space here for Ocon to go around the outside of Gasly, Pierre has just been on the grass, he's bouncing back on and he's going to come across the width of the track and Ocon is here, he's got an overlap, he has the space here, he should have the space but I wonder if Gasly either doesn't see him because again the light is pretty bad to look in front, it's even harder to look in your mirrors at this point so that could be an extenuating circumstance for Gasly coming all the way across the track or he's just so caught out by the grass, he's flustered, he's not looking in his mirrors because he doesn't appear to be but he just comes across and Ocon loses the space here and they have contact, it's a big whack both Alpines into the wall, that is really, really heavy contact so no points, major repairs, the cost of that is not going to be pleasing anyone at Alpine. and it's a really costly one. Teammates coming together is worst case. It's also particularly not good for these two when people were already wondering if they'd get on or not before this season. Race three and they've come to major blows. But I'm gonna put this one down to Pierre, fundamentally as well, because not only has he gone in too deep at turn one, but he's then come back on, come across the width of the track, and effectively he's put his teammate in the wall. Now at Alpine, they went to the stewards and they obviously had a game plan to make sure that neither driver got penalty points and Gasly didn't get a race ban for picking up penalty points. So in that case, you both just go in and you say, it was my fault, sir, my fault, sir, and you get away with it. The stewards can't pin the blame on anyone if both drivers take the fault. But I think this is on Gasly. He comes through and now he's gotta just leave enough space for a car that's got an overlap on his outside. And he doesn't. He just drifts out towards the right-hand side. He's already had the contact there. But at this point, it's just drifting, letting the car move to the outside. You've got to be aware on the first start, particularly when you're coming back from the grass, that there could be a driver there. I think he's very lucky to get away with, first of all, the not hitting along. So second of all, this major wipeout with his teammate, Alpine lose out majorly with that. (Source: Formula 1 Youtube Channel)

If he was such a terrible teammate, Gasly would have gotten a race ban for what happened instead Esteban took half the blame to help him avoid it. Remember Fernando was given a penalty for the crash in Brazil 2022 when it is quite rare for drivers to be penalised for incidents with their teammates. Esteban can be unforgiving when he wants to be.

Monaco 2024

Overtaking in Monaco is so difficult, as shown by Sunday’s race. Track position is critical and both Alpine drivers knew that whoever had the advantage at the end of Lap 1 would be prioritised throughout the rest of the race. It makes sense for teams to race that way in Monaco, because protecting a decent position is easily achievable with two cars, whilst a lone car can be undone by strategy more easily. I think there are two aspects to consider with Ocon’s lunge. If you take away the team mate context, this was actually a sensible enough attempt to overtake in Monaco and not worthy of punishment by the stewards in my opinion. Ocon committed hard down the inside, had a small lockup as Gasly started to close the space on the entry, but managed to get himself slowed down and was under control at the apex, ahead of his team mate. In most circumstances that would be job done for an overtake and in Monaco being able to execute this sort of pass should be applauded. Lap 1 is a driver’s best chance in the race to move forward, when the cars are bunched together and all have low tyre temperatures. Had Gasly been anybody aside from Ocon’s team mate I think we’d all be thinking that this was a decent, plucky attempt, that didn’t quite come off because of the way the barrier juts out on the exit. (Source: Formula 1.com)

I'll share two post I made at that time, the first sharing different opinions of F1 journalist of the incident and the aftermath and the second one on my opinion on the public overreaction on what happened.

[nephtheless]

THPD Gossan (Young)

So, I mentioned in my previous post that my modern AU Gossan has anger management issues. Can you guess what they do to deal with it?

Boxing!!!

Slate even helps them practice :3 which means they've gotten their nose broken, and had to get new specs more than once.

Why does Gossan have anger issues? Because they and Felds used to get bullied for being short as hatchlings, and Gossan is very protective of their sibling :3

Unfortunately, Goss has gotten themself into bad situations more than once (where they underestimated their opponent, or got ambushed by a gang of Nomai punks with a grudge).

When they're really angry, they resemble Feldspar more :D

On that note, all races from the game are present in this AU, which makes for some fun situations :D More on that later!

Here's a little tidbit:

'Slate watched at the angry being before them carefully. Gossan looked about ready to rip their head off.

They really should have chosen their words more carefully.

Yes, Slate knew quite well that Gossan could probably kill them.

And yet, they never once feared for their safety around their friend, not even when Gossan was in their most explosive fits of rage. Because they knew where that anger came from, who it was for, and where it started and ended.

But Gossan and their sibling were also idiots. That meant they bit off far more than they could chew more often than not. This was one of those occasions.

And while Slate knew when to back off, they also knew when it was time to speak up, lest someone dear to them end up in a hospital bed.

This was one of those times.

They'd rather put up with an irate delinquent now than do damage control later.

"You're not going anywhere," Slate said, putting a hand on Gossan's shoulder.

Gossan shoved that hand away quickly.

"The hell if you think you can stop me!" they shouted.

Slate lifted their hand again, reaching for the smaller hearthian-

Gossan threw their fist-

Slate caught it deftly.

Gossan growled. Their teeth were beared, their eyes narrowed and feral. Slate was sure it would have had a cowing effect on anyone else.

"I'll kick your ass, Slate! Get out of my way!"

Gossan punched with their other fist.

Slate caught that one too. Then they tightened their fingers over Gossan's hard enough to be painful. They watched as their friend hunched slightly and grimaced.

"The fu-!?"

"Don't forget who trains with you every day, Goss," Slate said sternly as they leaned down, simultaneously pulling both of Gossan's arms toward themself and outwards, "I know every move you'll make before you make it," they finished lowly-

-and quickly slid a leg behind Gossan's knees, and swiped the smaller adult's legs out from underneath them. They followed as Gossan's back hit the floor, stooping down so they could pin the smaller's arms to their own chest, then they sat on Gossan's stomach and used their weight to hold them down.

Gossan spat a healthy amount of cusses before shooting the taller a death glare, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Stopping you from being a dumbass."

Gossan struggled, snarling and tugging their arms hard. It wasn't easy to keep them pinned.

"Get the **** off! I have to-"

"No you don't, you idiot! They'll kill you!"

Gossan struggled more, then stopped and gave Slate a cold stare. Their shoulders rose and fell rapidly, and their nostrils flare as they seethed.

"They hurt Feldspar," they hissed, "they're going to pay." '

---

[cursed-candlehop]

This man is entirely too pretty for his own good

[licorishh]

double ?? upload ???? yeaaaahh i've gotten FASTERRrr for whatever that's worth so complementary blyla because guess what i miss them too (nobody was surprised by that)

[numbuh424]

in my defense, I did not think I would get this far

[yangjeongin]

the fact that hyunjin's birthday is over is actually making me so sad u guys don't understand my life has revolved around his birthday since like october KLJSKDJFSDLKLDG what do i do now..........write and shit????

[the-halfling-prince]

I need to give every angsty bad boy character glasses. To humble them.

[cidnangarlond]

I definitely have some kind of undiagnosed personality disorder I am Not normal

[teufelme]

You ever just want to talk about Bertl,

[nexus-nebulae]

i feel like half of my posts are just hidden from other people's dashes bc like 80% of what i post is just not seen by anyone

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[itsnotgoingtotranslate]

SASHA if you recommended me one film ..thats not twilight. what would it be

VISI luv hi!!!! i'm the worst person to ask sorry bc before castaigne hacked my new years resolutions 2023 i was living like a nun literally the only movie i watched in the past like 7yrs was call me by your name.....

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

not really that important, but i was able to find a favorite song that i sort of lost for a little while and now the actual story of the bio portal au has a name

yay :]

[boyapologist]

finally watching red white & royal blue

[lunarhoneybunny]

sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys