#But I haven't given up!! I'll get it someday!!!

[sysig]

Can’t, too busy flirting ♥ (Patreon)

[dduane]

Hi, Diane, I have a technical writing question for you: How do you decide how long a chapter is?

I've noticed a trend among mass market books of authors adopting the James Patterson style of chapters lasting a page & a half to three pages, but sometimes not even half a page. It's infuriating, especially when action on a single scene is split amongst them. I grew up learning that a chapter is an association of scenes, & that breaks were left for major scene and/or expository changes. If a book had 30 chapters, it'd be 400 pages long. Now I have 215-pages novels with 45 chapters!

You've always delivered a really good, fairly even, page & word per chapter count. So what's your thoughts on how it should be defined, & perhaps any on this metastasizing trend?

I haven't been entirely clear about what to do about this since I first started seeing this divergence of chapter lengths happening. (And bear in mind, this is a wide spectrum to be dealing with. There are books of Terry Pratchett's that have no clearly defined chapter breaks at all.)

My own take on it in the short term has varied depending on what book I was writing, and what rhythm the interactions among the characters were expressing. Sometimes written character business can happen very quickly, over a few pages: sometimes it has to happen more slowly, as it does among real people—a series of interactions, a pause, then further ripening developments and interactions.

Patterson is well known (I think) for having a house style... because I'm sure it'll have been a good while since he wrote anything but the high points of any given book himself. It wouldn't surprise me at all if the house style reinforces his own preferences, which would seem to be for very short interactions... that "short attention span" we've seen being discussed for so long, and getting shorter and shorter all the time.

I think it's safe to say I refuse to go that road. I want to allow readers time to sit in the characters' business (as it were) and think about what might happen next. I'm not afraid to allow the readership time to speculate about what might be about to occur before the next sequence of events sets in.

Is Patterson afraid to allow this? (sigh) I may have been a psych nurse, but I decline to attempt to read another writer's mind: that's a sure path to a headache. Is it possible that writers are as susceptible as their readers to that short-attention-span problem... and unwilling to attempt to slow it down for fear of being seen as somehow "behind the times?"

Damned if I know. Again, I decline to judge. But I sure as hell know how I'll behave on my own ground.

...Let me suggest a possibility to you, looking forward. Patterson's rhythms have all become the same because his (for certain values of "his") books have all become the same. ...And who's to blame for that? Readers are well known, in the industry, for wanting to read the same thing again and again, just a little bit different. That's not the readers' fault any more. They've been trained to it. And the market reflects their training.

You, meanwhile, get to set your own rhythms, and (ideally) allow the reader to settle into them, if they find other aspects of your voice congenial. Just because the Patterson modality seems to be all over the place at the moment, doesn't mean that it will continue to be. The market, gods help us, is all about the New. Someday (gasp) Patterson will be Old. And then what? Will slow slowly start to become cool? Tough to tell.

For myself, I write in a lot of different modes (gods help me, right now over on Bluesky we're discussing the possibility of a paranormal travel agency German [or maybe Swiss] Christmas market cozy murder mystery); and every single one of them requires a different rhythm according to the subject matter, the thought processes of the characters, the rhythm of the story itself and of the characters making their way through it, the way the action expresses itself throughout this story, etc etc. I can't imagine what doing it the same way all the time, regardless of the story's and the characters' imperatives, would feel like. Deadening, at the very least. And isn't writing about being, and becoming, more alive, not less??

If I've got a message, it's this: Let Patterson go his own way (for whatever values of "his"). None of us are going to be him, any time soon.*

I think you should write in the rhythm, and with the chapter breaks, that best suit the story you're telling. If some of your readers don't like those... fine. Others will. Whether they like to hear it or not—and some of them won't—like books, readers too are ephemera: they come and go. Your job is to be faithful to the story as you conceive it, and the rhythms and chapter breaks you feel it needs. The story has no one else to depend on.

So: get busy being God in your own creative universe, and ignore what other gods are doing in theirs.

HTH!

ETA: Historically I've had a tendency to use the "shopping list" method described over here for my outlining, and that's routinely determined chapter lengths to some extent. (i.e., if there were ten items on the list, and [thereafter] ten chapters in a 100K-word book, then that means 10K chapters.)

...Except when I feel a chapter needs to be subdivided, or combined with another one and then the whole thing chopped into three. Or when more entries get added to the master list. I look to see how a chapter "feels" when weighed in the hand of the mind: too long? too heavy? too short? too rushed?—and then adjust its length accordingly.

So briefly: my own basic rules are guidelines, to be broken when necessary. Yours should be, too. Only experience will teach you when this is necessary. But that's just another part of the Craft. "We learn by doing..." :)

*Though do we want to be?

[enteroctopusdarkysilis]

✨More Clones Brickheadz !✨

Since I acquired the Small Cody (40675), I found that there was an untapped mine. Why would they only make one ? Well. I don't have an answer to that, but I decided to take matters into my own one; so behold : 11 more. I went mostly for commanders here, but then I went a bit astray and so I added some captains to the mix.

In order, row by row :

Tukk (Not cannon but the colours are so beautiful)/Vaungh (died too soon-)/Rex (obviously)/Fordo (I did Rex, so I had to)

Gree/Doom/Thorn/Neyo

Bly/Cody/Fox/Wolffe

It was a really fun project, and I hope to do more of them in the future - maybe even phase 1s, some day~); supposedly not commanders because I did most of them (except Bacara, I know...The helmet was too tough).

And because I really like challenges, if you want to see another clone turned into one of these (Be it cannon or one of your ocs) feel free to send requests in my aksbox !)

Anyway this post is already far too long for anyone's dashboard, so closeups and details will be under the cut !

Let's start with the easy ones : Cody, Doom, Fox, Thorn

Obviously, Cody was easy, I just rebuilt the original one virtually - Nothing too hard. The printed pieces here are not the right ones, because Cody's are not available on STUDio yet, but the storm trooper ones were relatively similar, so I used these for most of these models. Of course, it means I'm lacking the sun bands, and a few other distinctive elements, but it works well enough for now.

Now, Doom is essentially a colour variation (minus a few antennas). I also used an old space piece, which has this big yellow arrow printed on it. I's not exactly what Doom has, but I feel like it's close enough for a first attempt.

Then, Fox is relatively similar to Doom, but with two DC-17s. I also moved the printed torso brick up to get that red line he has.

Thorn works in a similar way to Cody too, except I removed both accessories on the side of the helmet. I also added this tile with diagonal lines to figure the wings he has. One day I'll slap some real wings on there, but I haven't found the right image yet. I also gave him a Z-6, obviously. I really like it, so I might actually make that one physically, because the way it's build (with old binocular pieces) is pretty nice; although I doubt the pieces are available in black.

Moving on to two captains : Vaughn and Tukk !

Admittedly, not really that different either, except for one thing : I learnt to do custom prints now ! Yay ! Well, these are really basic : the blue line for Vaughn, and some trapezoids for Tukk's helmet (which are, indeed, not visible here - shame, I spent so long making these fit). The Ahsoka pattern was already in STUDio (because Ahsoka already has her own brickheadz, which I'll get my hands on someday~)

I must also add that having some cyan in this whole thing added some much needed colours in here, I'm grateful some people give their clones amazing colours (If somehow someone doesn't know who Tukk is, well just check High Ground Animation. Right now. It's really cool, trust me). Anyway.

As for design changes, I modified the faces slightly by adding 1x1 tiles, to allow for different colours variations on the face. It makes them look slightly blockier, but given the overall size of the head, it doesn't do much.

I also gave Vaughn a DC-15A. It's a bit messy, but it works out well enough. Past me forgot to render it, so here is a raw, in-software picture of it (from Fordo(s hand, but it's the same design for both) :

BARC helmets ? Wolffe, Fordo, Neyo

As I've been told, these look a bit wonky, and I'll admit its wasn't exactly easy, but in my defence, it's relatively hard to get such round shapes with bricks (lego cheated by adding the visor). Anyway, given that doing that with a printed piece was out of the question, I tried to replicate the filter's shape with actual bricks, and I used a printed piece which, technically, is Lando's moustache, but downward. I'd say it does the job relatively well.

I also added a rangefinder to Wolffe, which is a little big compared to everyone else's antennas, but It's still relatively to scale with the head itself. No custom prints for him (not sure where I would find the correct pattern images ?), but I've done it for Fordo and Neyo. Fordo obviously has his well deserved Jaig eyes (and who knew it would be that difficult to find a picture of that on internet ?), and Neyo has his symbol on the helmet, chest plate, and the shoulder not shown here.

The really tinkered ones : Gree, Bly, Rex :

Here, it was a matter of trials and errors to figure out just how to get the shapes right.

I actually started with Bly, by removing the previous visor and adding the macrobinoculars first, then I tried to shape the helmet around. Truth is, it doesn't make sense technically : the two separated parts of the helmet do not connected at all, if you remove the equipment. Luckily, no one has to know that.

Next is Gree. It took me some time to figure out how to properly get a round feel, but I feel like it's as good as I can make it like this. Colour-wise, it was surprisingly difficult to find how to balance the different shades of green, and equally hard was to figure out which silvery colour would render well in STUDio. The answer lied, as it always does, in Bionicle. Of course, none of these pieces exist in this colour, but it's not really my main problem (because none of the coloured printed pieces exist either).

Finally, Rex...He gave me some trouble, I have to admit. Firstly, the part-designing software decided to have some trouble with custom prints, which was problematic, because I simply couldn't do Rex without jaig eyes (and Fordo already had his). Then, I started with Gree's base and tried to go from there to fit Rex's custom helmet. I ended up using Boba Fett's printed visor piece for Rex, because these were all triangles. I also got rid of the printed chest piece and used some black plates to simulate the pouch he has; while also adding a a few more custom printed pieces for the arms and pauldron (barely visible, but they're here. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I don't see much other solutions than more and more custom prints, which isn't my goal, so it'll stay like that for now.

Anyway, that's way too much rambling for one post, so I'll just end by saying that next week I'll post an alt version of this whole build [here !], with some 'slight' colour alterations. Definitely nothing big.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

[10:02pm] - aphelios & sett

a/n; in which i make aphelios silly skrumblo than he already his. test run for writing league. but it's heartsteel phel so, it's probably gonna be fine. i loved watching the bloopers. it was so cute, i need more. they should make a small web series like how kpop groups have their small web series where they do random shit or vlog ugh. im totally gonna write that someday.

[ooc phel and sett????] [i threw in poly! settphel in here despite wanting to make it a solo phel fic]

aphelios is really bad at getting your attention normally.

which is fair. you and alune are busy being the limited staff for heartsteel. you help yone work the technicals [and filming] and alune is more of the social part of managing.

but since their debut was nearing closer and closer, you have been more occupied with your manager duties. kayn had been especially chaotic during filming, causing you and yone to attempt to fix everything that was broken by the others.

to summarize, it has been a very long week for heartsteel.

mostly for the quiet boy since he has not gotten some much-needed love and attention from his lover. he could've gone to sett for that love and attention, but the redhead offers more than enough of it. and also he took too many takes for his scene, and phel swears he can still hear the ringing in his ears from the bell.

he's been trying to get your attention now since it's been much less busy, but he hasn't had much luck.

poke.

poke. poke.

you feel cold fingers poke at your face as you rest on bed, completely exhausted. you don't really complain about the comforting hands that gently cup your face until you feel a familiar pair of lips on yours. aphelios watches your tired eyes open and squint at him before you give him a small smile. "hi phel.."

he can't bring himself to be mad at you from the lack of attention with how sweet you look. he can't help but sigh before settling right next to you on the bed, head resting on your chest and body curling up close to you for warmth. there's never much need for words when he's so endearingly expressive. his lips jutted out just a bit in a cute pout as he looked up at you with pleading eyes, a surefire sign of him wanting your attention. "where's sett?" you murmured, gently playing with phel's hair.

aphelios makes no sign of an answer, tugging the blankets to cover you and him better. he even goes as far to lay right on top of you, trapping you in his hold. "phel.." you whined, "i just wanted to know where he was."

the look in aphelios's eyes says everything you need to know, "i need attention."

you can only smile as you finally give him his needed attention. "okay, okay, i'll stop. but you know i just woke up from my nap. what am i gonna do?"

you get no response as expected as the silent man presses his face against your chest, not caring to even spare you another glance. "god, what am i gonna do with you?" you mutter fondly. "with you and sett.. wait until he starts getting all clingy too.." placing your hands on his cheeks, "absolutely insufferable." you joked, squishing his face.

"babe! i lost aphelios!" you're holding back your laugh as sett barges into your shared room. he reminds you of a sweet doberman who just loves their owner. "have you seen him-" aphelios shifts under the blankets, head peeking out to look at sett, annoyed. "oh. uh. hey phel." sett smiles sheepishly. "i forgot that you wanted to be with them today because they've been so busy."

you laugh, "don't be mad, phel." he sends you a look before burying himself under the sheets once again and clinging onto you. "at least let sett join. i haven't given him much attention either. especially after what happened with some of the props during filming." you sighed, remembering yone scolding to the boys and alune laughing behind the camera.

the blankets shift before the blue haired mute opens a side of the covers to let sett in. and ever the energetic and excitable boyfriend, he almost looks ready to dive straight onto you and aphelios. but he holds back, shifting around awkwardly as he moves onto the bed. he finally lets his excitement out, reaching around to hug both you and phel the best he can. "god, i missed this."

"it was only a week, big guy."

"longest week ever!" he groaned as you feel aphelios nod in agreement.

"you two are so dramatic." you slam a poro plushie against sett's and aphelios's head.

"you love it!"

[fictionobsession]

devotion

Pairing: Alastor x f!Reader

Summary: She would give anything for him.

Word Count: 1,997

Warnings: blood, canon typical violence, Alastor being psychotic

A/N: okay friends, first time writing for Al. this was not beta'd or really edited at all so if something seems weird just... assume I meant to fix it. also, this was written as a QPR, but there's a little feelings on reader's side if you squint. I'm not 100% on how in character this is for Alastor, but we tried and that's what matters right

---

She plopped onto the shitty couch and pulled her knees to her chest, looking around the shitty house where they'd been hiding out in the middle of this shitty swamp for the last two shitty weeks. The wallpaper was peeling and yellowed, the floors covered in mold and mildew, the running water only worked half the time, and, more importantly, the refrigerator was empty as of six nights prior. Her stomach rumbled just thinking about a nice juicy cut. She sighed, closing her eyes and allowing herself to sink into the daydream of food.

She knew when she'd gotten into this hobby with Alastor that there was a non-zero chance she would wind up on the run someday. She just wished they could have put it off a bit longer, had a bit more fun. She laid her head back against the rotting couch until she heard the creak of the floor near the front door.

Her eyes snapped open and her brows furrowed as she took in Alastor's hunting attire.

“Al, where do you think you're going?”

“Well, my dear, unless you feel like us both starving to death in this dismal abode, I thought I'd better go get some food.”

“Alastor. You know we've heard the dogs nearby. You can't possibly go out there without getting caught, at least until we've had a couple days where we haven't heard 'em.”

“Again, starving is not on my agenda, so we don't particularly have another choice.”

Another choice. Her face hardens as she realizes what another option might be. She stood up and crossed the room, grabbing Alastor's arm before he could open the door. “There is a way for us to make it out of this without you leaving. Or rather, a way for one of us to make it out of this.”

He hummed, and she could see the wheels turning as he put together what she was implying. “I'm not sacrificing myself for you to get away, you know.”

“I know. That's why I'm just asking you to get it over with quickly. You'll get more time, and I – well, I'll at least get to go out on my own terms. If I have to go, at least it'll be for you.”

His eyes widened just a bit, more reaction than she'd usually get, before he shrugged. “Okay. Painless it is. Not usually my style, but I think I can figure it out.”

She laughed, a genuine, full laugh. “I know, Al, and that's why we've worked out so well. But I think you could at least do that much for me.”

He pulled his hunting knife from where he had already slid it into his belt. “Are you ready?”

And with one nod, everything went black.

-

It seemed instantaneous, appearing in hell. She looked around, taking in the chaos around her. Literal dumpster fires, public sex, casual street murders, Hell had it all. Of course, arriving in Hell wasn't a surprise for her. You don't kill that many people and expect to get into Heaven. She wasn't even sure she had believed in the whole afterlife thing until she was experiencing it. She shrugged it off, finding the closest place with a mirror she could use for free.

Her body was... different, certainly. But intact, and honestly, she was quite happy with it. Given the various types of demons she'd seen just in her brief time there, it could've been a lot worse. She wandered, putting together a plan of action for getting herself set up in Hell. It seemed she would need income to make most things happen, which made finding a job a top priority. She also needed a place to sleep, as it seemed unsafe at best to stay on the streets.

She got a job fairly quickly at Ozzie's, though she wasn't thrilled with the outfit they made her wear for the whole thing. But it was money, and easy work, so she stuck with it. Asmodeus offered her a fairly decent rate on rent nearby, as well, so she could have done worse.

Shortly after getting settled, she started feeling pressure on her body in random locations and at seemingly random times, almost like someone was grabbing or poking her to get her attention. Occasionally she'd get hot spots, which she at first attributed to it being hot in Hell. Little scrapes and cuts would appear sometimes as well, but they always healed up quickly. It wasn't until the final time it happened that she realized what had been happening over the past few weeks.

A perfect bite imprint appeared on her forearm, accompanied by a sharp pain, and she realized it must have been an effect of Alastor in the living world. She traced her finger over the mark, which had healed into almost a scar, but not quite. It was a bit pink, but wasn't angry and fresh. She smiled a little to herself, happy that her sacrifice hadn't been in vain.

As time went on, she found herself tracing the mark when she was feeling stressed, upset, or particularly lonely. It never healed all the way, making it always a bit sensitive to touch, and served as a reminder of why she was here. The mark always made her feel closer to Al, which brought a little comfort when things got crazy.

She had managed to stay within the same few blocks that she knew were heavily policed by Asmodeus's people. However, six months into her stay in Hell, she finally had to leave her little neighborhood to buy some things for the bar. She packed her gun, a knife, and made sure she was dressed inconspicuously – the rumors about the surrounding areas were very...detailed...about what might happen to someone who ended up on the wrong side of a fight.

Unfortunately, her preparation didn't keep her from getting spotted by some Sharks outside the store as she started back toward her apartment. She tried to hurry, sliding between demons and other sinners, before slipping down an alley to attempt to lose her tail. It was too late by the time she realized it was a dead end, and the Sharks started cutting off her only entrance.

She took one step, two, keeping them in her sight until her back hit the brick wall behind her. Her hand reached for her gun, ready to pull it when the lead Shark got close enough. Their glares were paralyzing, and she could smell the smoke and alcohol on them at that distance. She felt herself start to shake, taking a deep breath to steady herself before -

“You wouldn't want people to think you're picking on those of fairer means would you?” The sound and feeling of static crackled through the air like lightning as a dark shape enveloped the opening to the alleyway. A long, thin shadow ripped through the air, straight through the lead Shark, throwing him against the side of the neighboring building.

Green sparks shone through the seemingly infinite blackness, a pair of what could only be described as antlers growing from the approaching shape. Two more tendrils, picking up the remaining Sharks and tossing them into the air like dolls. She wanted to close her eyes, but couldn't look away from the gore. Sure, she had seen a lot of violence in her time in Hell, but she hadn't seen that level of overkill in quite some time.

As the last of the Sharks fled only to get a tendril through the skull, she pressed herself as far into the corner as possible, sliding down the wall and pulling her knees to her chest. There was only the hope that the demon forgot she existed, and the knowledge that if he hadn't, she would likely be next up for second death.

The shadow approached, darkness fading as he got closer until finally it revealed a man. A tall man, with horns, but just a man, nonetheless. He was straightening out his red coat, and twirling something around in his hands as he approached. “Always good to have an excuse to let off a little steam. Always good.”

He put a hand out to help her up. As she lifted herself off the ground, he was already vaguely shaking her hand, introducing himself. “Name's Alastor, pleasure to meet you. Quite a pleasure.”

His name hit her ears about the time he caught a glimpse of her bite, and both stopped dead in the middle of introductions. She looked up, eyes widening as she realized that yes, that was a microphone, and yes, in fact, it had been quite a while since she'd seen that level of overkill, one could even say since her living days. He looked different now, sure, but as soon as she looked into his eyes, she knew that was her Al.

“Well maybe don't wait so long to come save my ass next time, eh, Al?” She smirked up at him, waiting for him to process what was happening. His nails traced the pattern of his own bite on her arm. She caught sight of his tongue tracing across his teeth, as if he was just then realizing how different they'd really become. “I bet your imprint looks a bit different now, doesn't it?” She spoke more to herself than to him as she reached to pull her sleeve down over the mark.

“Why, I should hope so, my dear. I should very much hope so. Let's see just how much it's changed then!” Without any more warning than that, he pulled her arm to his mouth and bit, hard. The new mark bled, sure, but it healed up more quickly than it probably should have, covering his old impression with his new one. His ears twitched subconsciously, his ever-present smile nearly faltering as he watched the blood drip, drip, drip down her arm. He shook himself out of whatever thoughts were distracting him rather quickly before acting like no time had passed at all since they'd been together last. “Now, I don't think I should leave you alone again. It seems to me that you still can't stay out of trouble, my dear! Come along, let me show you where I've been staying!”

“But – Hang on! Al! I've got to go to work!”

“Ah, there'll be no more need of that anymore. We'll send a notice to... whoever you're working for when you get settled.” He raised an eyebrow, practically daring her to argue. She knew, though, that she'd never gone against what he'd wanted before, and she didn't particularly want to start now. She took the elbow he'd offered her and allowed him to lead her out of the alley.

Occasionally, as they walked, she would catch sight of a shadow that seemed to be following them.

“Oh, don't mind them. They're just keeping an eye on your wellbeing. You better get used to it! Having a friend like me, why, other overlords will just be dying to get their hands on you!”

She scoffed, a look of adoration crossing her features before she tactfully replaced it with annoyance. “I'm not going to get any rest now, am I?”

“Oh contraire, ma cherie! You're going to get everything you've ever wanted and deserved. I owe you that after what you did for me up there, wouldn't you say?”

“Oh I just can't wait to show you Cannibaltown! You've got to meet Rosie, yes. You'll get along very well, very well indeed. And she makes the most delectable little treats! Maybe we'll go by tomorrow.”

As he continued rambling, she hummed approval when appropriate, watching him out of the corner of her eye with a mix of caution and longing. As he led her down streets she'd never seen before, she realized maybe this was all her afterlife had needed after all.

[cookiepie111]

The bakery

König x black reader

König and his bakery own girlfriend, how I haven't done a bakery au yet is crazy. These are just a bunch of headcannons. Two slight suggestive things at the bottom but nothing crazy still under the post just to be safe. Not proofread.

~

He has the bad habit of scaring you when you're closing shop. You lock the doors and head to the kitchen to get started with the clean-up when you hear rattling and footsteps. It must be in your head... that doesn't stop you from arming yourself with the heavy rolling pin.

"Hello!"

"Agh!" Your swing is stopped."You have to aim for the head schatz, " tapping the end of the rolling pin at his head with a Droopy smile. You're glad he isn't wearing his balaclava it would have really given you a heart attack

"König! Just call me next time. I'll let you"

" and ruin the surprise! You should just leave the door open"

"No! The surprise in question being scaring me?"

"Flowers!"

You sigh. "Just wait, I'm almost done"

~

Birthday are something he can look forward to now. You make him a cake Esterházy torte every year the same thing since he likes it so much. When his birthday falls on a work day, you pack up a slice for him to take in.

~

He likes the smell you carry. each week it's something new flour, fresh bread or chocolate. It's not always so romantic. Sometimes, you come home smelling like yeast and butter.

~

Pulling you away from the kitchen when you're stressing has become a semi common occurrence.

~

In the early days of your bakery, you had to do everything alone, hauling tables and chairs, now you have könig! He has no problem building them, rearranging the furniture, helping you carry heavy ingredients to the back of the kitchen

~

The two of you have similar morning routines. A 5 am start! It's a habit for könig, so he'll go on his morning run, and freshly baked bread is waiting for him when he gets home

~

Your fridge becomes a strange mix of almost only meats and butter. One day, you both look at the fridge and agree you need a second one after realising you have no other ingredients.

~

Will pull you back to bed somedays where he's feeling extra clinging or feels you've been working too hard, so you don't open shop. You have to deal with some pretty annoyed customers the next day

~

He doesn't bake but does take up cooking more.

~

You tried making him some healthier bakes for when he's cutting. He spat it out so fast, thought you were playing a prank on him

" Never do this again." he'll take enjoy the full fat bakes please.

~

Has tried to fuck you in the kitchen. Getting all handys and kissing along your neck, you quickly realise where this is going and have to shut it down, prying him off of you"König no!"

Wants to do food play with you, but you're strongly against it! You never thought you'd see the day könig would pout, but here he is, body weight pressed tight around you, clinging to your waist, "please Schatz"

"No, I'm not letting you lick cream off me. It's weird"

" I'd let you lick cream off my nip-"

"Oh my, out!"

[notmorbid]

yellowjackets, season 2 [pt. 2].

dialogue prompts from the second season of showtime's yellowjackets.

trust me. i've been where you are.

i thought you'd be more excited to see me.

you should get the hell away from me. i'm poison. i ruin people.

i killed my best friend. the only person i loved. the only person who knew me.

that 'something' that was in ___ is in me.

why didn't you wake me up?

is there a chance it could be us? you and me?

i gotta take care of myself, too, okay?

if you're done crying, i can tell you some stories.

where are you? we need you here.

you are so close to being on the other side.

aren't you the last person who should be giving me legal advice?

i'd rather keep the past in the past.

are you even trying to be happy?

i know you're too evolved for online dating.

i just want to know that you haven't given up on love.

you should be responsible for something other than yourself.

you know i don't deserve your friendship, right?

we're all like this. aren't we?

i never even wanted to be a mom.

life doesn't tend to turn out like you think it will.

it was all really complicated. i'll tell you all about it someday.

it's you and me against the whole world.

we thought we lost you.

i just think it's time we woke up.

i would be dead without you.

i need to know why the fuck i'm still here.

all my rational instincts are just kind of screaming.

you aren't welcome here anymore.

shouldn't you be in therapy?

i really need you right now.

when you look at yourself, what do you see?

the truth is all around you, but you refuse to see it.

i'm sorry. i should never have pushed you away like that.

i'd never ask you to wait for me.

does a hunt that has no violence feed anyone?

how much do you remember?

i love this song.

i know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out.

you're lying to me, and i want to know why.

you hear it, too?

we all need things we can't have.

you're a good person. i'm sorry for ever making you feel otherwise.

you are nothing if not proactive.

i can't get rid of it. it's a part of me.

i thought you loved all of me, like i love all of you.

it's gonna be okay. we're gonna be okay.

i can't imagine being here without you.

you're not going to solve shit with talking.

this isn't something that therapies can fix.

you're gonna have to look me in the eye.

it's no secret we're all a little fucked up.

what exactly are you suggesting?

our lives are not that bad.

i did it for the good of the group.

i knew i wasn't the only one who felt this way.

didn't we swear we would protect each other?

do you google yourself a lot?

disappearing is not as easy as they make it look on tv.

i need you to leave while you still can.

you don't have to be one of those people.

i appreciate you trying to teach me forgiveness. it's a nice idea.

it was supposed to be me.

you're a good person. you really don't belong in this place.

i'm not ashamed. i'm glad i'm alive.

you're like, an honest-to-god detective?

i know this is a lot. but i'm a friend. and everything is gonna be fine.

is this what you wanted to happen?

it's called a narrative. try to 'yes, and' a little.

what about a story you haven't heard before?

i never wanted to be in charge.

you were always the favorite.

there's nothing to be afraid of, you know?

i'm not supposed to be here.

how could it not have been me?

go ahead. i'm right behind you.

[obey-me-hoe]

Hear me out-! How about an Mc who can be absolutely clueless at like some of the most important times or most irrelevant moments like that one scene in demon slayer (idk if you watch it) where kotetsu says “I RegReT calLiNg yOU a sEawEEd head” and muichiro is like: “wait you called me a seaweed head?” Like mc is like that. (You can ignore this if you don’t want to answer it)

I haven't watched Demon Slayer yet but it is on my list so someday I'll understand what you're referring to 😂

As for clueless MC, I feel like that could lead to some hilarious situations as well as some dangerous ones.

Imagine MC is out shopping by themselves for once and a random demon comes up to them and they start chatting. The demon is trying really hard to get MC to leave the store to follow them to the nearest alley so they can kidnap MC for a ransom or like eat them or something. Just bad intentions. They're saying stuff like "oh I know this really great store that just opened up. I think you'd like it. I can show you where it is" and just being so obvious that they want MC to leave with them but MC keeps responding like "that sounds so cool but I only have money for the stuff I came to get today :( I'd love to go next time though". The demon gets progressively more and more pissed until eventually they just decide it's not worth it and they leave. It's not until one of the brothers points it out (MC was telling them about their day) that MC realizes they were in danger.

Or imagine MC is sitting in their room one day and Lucifer comes in and asks if he can take them to dinner at the new fancy restaurant that just opened up. MC agrees thinking nothing of it because they've been out to dinner with him plenty of times. Both of them get all dressed up and head to the restaurant. The whole time Lucifer is being so gentlemanly and even had given MC flowers before they left for the restaurant. They get to the restaurant and when they're looking over the menu MC casually says "this would be a great place for a date" and Lucifer looks at MC over his menu with a puzzled look and says "...yes...that's why I brought you here..." MC stares back at him in shock and says "wait this is a date?" Lucifer lets out a sigh that quickly turns into a low chuckle before replying "yes MC this is a date. I thought that was obvious but apparently not." A small smile forms on his face. "You should really learn to take a hint MC" (this is based on that one chat where Luci told me to take a hint 😂)

There are so many possibilities for clueless MC drabbles but I'll leave it with just these two since writing isn't really my thing. Sorry for the run-on sentences I just type it the same way I'd say it so it ends up being all thrown together like that.

Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this ramble and thank you for the ask!

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episodes 21-26)

Episode 21 - Igol

This is a big episode because this is where we get the "Adamai knows stasis magic" lore drop that is never elaborated on, or mentioned altogether.

Episode 22 - Rubilax

Someday, someone will complete a translation of the Dofus manga in russian or english and I'll finally learn what's the deal with this man and why he died and got better and how crazy his doomed yaoi with his dead dragon husband gets.

Heartbreakingly, this day is not yet here.

[Kerubim and Goultard crying together over a drink, begin talking at the same time] I miss my dead wife, Goulatrd/Kerubim. I miss her/him a lot.

Big lore: Sleep masks exist in this universe.

Episode 23 - The Quest for the Dofus

He'll get it eventually. I did.

Episode 24 - Reunion

I love their family so much, I wish they could be happy. But every time something changes, it's far too late... It is tragically realistic, I suppose.

I don't know why, but this is such a pretty frame... The soft morning light, the dim room, the plants the glowing mushrooms...

Also, rare moment to take in what the guest rooms look like at the Sadida castle!

This episode (and at least one past episode) has quite a bit of ciphered text that I haven't been translating because I'm evil. Sorry. It's not the same script as the texts in Aux Tresors, despite the similarities, so you'll have to resort to google, or to decoding it yourself. You could start with the fact that this presumably says "Arbe de vie"

Episode 25 - I Am A Legend

Stasis mention 🔥🔥🔥

This whole scene always makes me tear up. I am actually insane and crazed every time I rewatch the last two episodes.

Your insane Joris trivia of the day is that this scene was changed between various airings/versions of Wakfu. For some mysterious reason. Here's a comparison:

I prefer the old version because.... [blushes] [kicks legs] [twiddles with my hair] HES SO PRETTY—- But also besides me being insane and in love with him, it just seems to have better composition and flow, imo.

My theories for why he was late:

He was sent to get reinforcements from other countries, or call for help. Though it is unlikely that many other kingdoms responded, given how little people care about Sadida (the most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He went together with the army of Sadida and the king to fight the war and ran all the way here using his insane speed (the second most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He overslept

He got lost

He was busy, man...

He was writing a letter to Keke and Atch about how he beat the shit out of some sadida guards and two girls clapped and cheered and lost track of time.

This exchange has always been so funny to me for some reason.

"What is the situation" He says,, while a giant mecha is about to kill what likely amounts to one-twelfth of the world's population.

I have talked about it a lot, but I am so deeply unwell about how cold he is. A girl lost her lover and is crying inconsolably, and he's not really paying that attention. One twelfth of the world population is about to die, and he won't show an ounce of discomfort or horror or grief.

Obviously he doesn't like it, but showing any weakness is out of the question.

More people have died from Ogrest, and she's like, the 60th girl on a battlefield on his memory to be crying after losing someone.

There are no unsolvable issues in this world.

I need to study him like a bug.

Episode 26 - Mount Zinit

Standing so prettily...

I think one of Joris's core "insanity and depression prevention" life philosophies is that, if he is not present at a battle, and can not physically be present, then he's not to blame for any horrible thing that happens.

I think this philosophy works almost never to quell his feelings of unease, and right now he is calculating 132924 ways he could have gotten here faster and just how much it would fix things.

(guy who runs a blog about pointing out obvious things Joris does voice) There's a very subtle expression change here. He starts looking intently as Amalia proposes going to help Yugo and Adamai. He was going to do this. However, the second he hears her yell "no", his expression changes once more.

We don't see whether he rushes to aid Eva in any way after she collapses from grief, but I will be honest — he would never do that.

Even if he has a pre-established good relationship with her. He just can't do that. He probably stands there awkwardly, in that same exact place, and feels very bad the entire time — because he can neither comfort Eva (they're practically strangers, he hesitated far too long, he'll make things worse—), nor go help Yugo (he can't just leave Eva and Ruel alone... What if more enemies appear? Or what if they think he abandoned them amidst grief? And would he even be useful?)

I think standing next to inconsolable people is Joris's personal hell.

I am insane.

I think one of the reasons Wakfu season 1 is so memorable, and so effective, is that there is no glorious pay off.

Yugo has a heroic moment of friendship overpowering everything — and then, after a second of being scared, Nox overtakes him. Nox wins. And that win is a mere 20 minutes. And for what? Pinpin is still dead. Everyone he killed is still dead.

Yugo doesn't get a glorious win, or his friend back. There is no epic swell of music. Just something quiet, foreboding, and truly meaningless.

OMG HI.

Your daily reminder that canonically, Eva is an amazing artist.

💀

Once again, Sadida Kingdom and Bonta have a very good relationship. Besties who hoard magical nukes together stay together.

[vincentbriggs]

Good afternoon Mr.Briggs (if i may call you such) Been a fan of your content since 2019 and have loved to see you evolve over time with both your technique and skill. Have you ever done a video about men's breeches/pants? My beloved does a lot of plays/theater, and with the lovely shirt tutorial you've posted, I would love to at some point make him some breeches to go with it. I'm sure you have many ideas in the works, simply curious! Thank you so much for all the wonderful knowledge and style you've given us over the years 💖

On a similar note, are we allowed to make fanart of you? Some people aren't comfortable with receiving drawings of themselves so I wanted to ask.

Hello! Thank you! No, I have not yet made a video on breeches or pants, alas. (An easy fact to observe, since I've only made 13 videos so far!) But someday!

I have no idea when I'll get to it. It is on The List, but it's a very long list and breeches aren't a super high priority at the moment, so I doubt there'll be a breeches video for quite a while.

I think it fairly likely that I'll end up doing a fall front pants video before I get around to a breeches one, but I never can tell what will grab my attention first. I had planned on doing the shirt video two videos ago, but then buttonholes and striped gloves jumped up and said "Hey! What about us?"

Since I just finished the shirt tutorial, I feel like working on more fun and silly things for a while before I do another big video on a wardrobe basic. I'll want to film a lot of different pairs of pants for the pants one, so as to show a variety of different options for things.

(I'm working on another fairly short video right now, and am just about to start filming another one, but only the patrons know what they are! Or, they will when I do my monthly update post at the end of July. They already know what the other long term non-sewing video I'm picking away at is.)

Somehow I haven't made an in depth blog post about how I do pants or breeches either, alas! I've really been neglectful of my blogspot in recent years.

(I do have a blog post about how I do fall plackets though, which should be helpful.) (Also, Nicole Rudolph has a video on sewing breeches.)

Oh my, sure that's fine! I'd be quite flattered, thank you!!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Oral fixation and/or Size difference???

Taking a mate that is not a spiderfolk is considered one of the worst taboos to his kind, but it is one that does wonderful things for his longevity of life and otherwise ensuring that his genitals stay intact for the rest of that long life. Besides, most other folk in the area that he calls home find the taboo of cannibalism to be more egregious, so they turn a blind eye to the fact that he has stolen away the pure-blood pedigree tom with fur so white that it blends in with the silk of his nest and eyes bluer than a cloudless summer sky. His perfect, forbidden mate. 

His little, perfect, forbidden mate, who needs to be touched all over his body every morning so that he can move around in their nest without getting stuck to the webbing. 

"Tomura," Dabi whines, his name half mangled on a yawn and bowing his back as he stretches against the sheets. He dips his head low so that he can press a kiss to the back of his neck. So pretty and thin. He can take it in one hand and nearly have his fingers meet around it. Fine bones under his skin, mottled with the strange purplish marks that the doctors can't explain, but that haven't seemed to hurt him. They've only made him more unique and beautiful with those lovely patterns swirling over his skin. He loves running a finger along the length of his spine, feeling each little bump of it. He loves how his hands can wrap around his waist, loves that he can catch both of Dabi's wrists in one hand, and still have one free to run up the inside of his thighs. He adores how beautifully small his kitten is compared to him. 

"It's time to get up, precious." He murmurs. "I need to recoat your skin." 

"Mmhmm, I'm sure that's all you want." Dabi presses his face tighter into the pillow, hugging it close like that alone will let him return to the embrace of dreams, but his tail shifts for him anyway, lifting up along his back and tilting to the side so that he is more fully exposed for him. Tomura chitters lowly with his approval as he moves two hands to his thighs so he can spread his legs wide and see his lover's cute pink hole. He takes his primary left hand and rubs three fingers against his palm, stimulating the oil gland in his skin until the fluid is pooling there and his fingers are dripping wet. He always marvels at how small his hole is when he starts to open him up. So little, but he can take his fingers, can take both of his cocks when he finally puts them inside. "Not sure how I would get your webs stuck to my asshole, Tomu." 

"I'm just being thorough, precious." He teases right back, his sheath already starting to ache as blood moves south as he is able to easily slip his first finger inside of the other's body. His kitten lets out a little mewl and then starts to purr as he strokes along his soft, warm insides. Dabi is even warmer from sleep, his body pliant and ready for this part of their morning routine, and he opens so eagerly for his fingers. "You're doing such a good job, kitten. You always take me so well." He has three inside him now, his cock pressing out from his sheath just from seeing how he's stretched and hearing the way that Dabi moans. "Someday I'm going to find out how much you can have before it's too much. Maybe I'll keep my fingers inside as I fill you up with my cocks." 

Dabi is already panting, trembling hard enough that Tomura can feel it spilling out across the webs all throughout their den, but he still manages to take a breath and say, "Yeah? What are you waiting for? Thought I was the only pussy here." 

Tomura clicks, ignoring the attitude for the time being in favor of delighting at how his mate has given him permission to take what he wants from his body. He's so delicate compared to him, his skin covered in patches of his chitinous shell, his body bigger, his teeth sharper and capable of burning him with his digestive enzymes. But Dabi doesn't care. Dabi always wants to prove that he isn't small just because he's little compared to him. And he trusts Tomura not to hurt him even though to the rest of the world he looks like a monster. Tomura presses another kiss to the back of his neck and uses a hand to slick more of his oil along his lengths. "Alright, kitten. Let's see how much your cute little hole can take." 

[themoonstarwarrior]

Well, I haven't seen the episode yet, but since it sounds like BloodMoon is refusing to be saved, imma go ahead and share the idea I mentioned to @twinanimatronics about how Sun could've possibly reached them.

Obviously BloodMoon wont sit still and listen so this scenario has Sun use star power to trap BM just like old moon did to him with Moon on standby to come in once the 5 minutes are up.

Basically, Sun asks them WHY they kill and hurt people and BM brings up the main three reasons: they enjoy it, they dont want to be a tool, and they hunger. Since literally none of the protags have actually asked, Sun would be surprised that theres more than the first reason and interrogate to get to the bottom of it. Cuz what Sun realizes is that BloodMoon doesnt have any deeper motives or desires because of their eternal hunger. Their ENTIRE existence has circled around violence to satisfy their hunger. They get used to satisfy their hunger. They enjoy the rip and tear because it stops the hunger.

They have always been a tool to the hunger.

So Sun offers the one thing that no one has: what if they get rid of the hunger?

BM is confused cuz all they've ever known is the hunger, and Sun has to dig the point home by explaining how they can keep killing but it'll come back, and probably stronger. They could kill everyone and everything but then the hunger will come back. And the only thing thatll be left to kill is each other.

And THAT freaks them out, because that is the only thing BloodMoon stands to lose is the brotherhood. (And while BM1 would probably race about lies and trickery, BM2 cant deny the logic)

So with BM actually realizing how their hunger endangers them, and Moon at this point just WAITING to finish them off, Sun lays down the ultimatum. Since no change of heart can happen if all they've ever known is hunger, Sun/Moon/Solar can try and remove it to and see if the twins can be rehabilitated, otherwise Moon ends them then and there.

And I love this idea so much!!! It addresses the REAL block that BM has that hasnt been brought up since that one episode where they kill the anime girl. We get to keep BloodMoon, since the creators went to the trouble of bringing them back and giving them a new model so it'd be a lil annoying if they just ended up killed again. It acknowledges how much BM has been used and brushed aside while admitting that there hasnt been much else to them. And you could have a whole rehabilitation arc, with everyone healing and BM given a real change and actual honesty, since god knows no one is gonna be mincing words. And I imagine their blood-hunger being removed ends up like the Ruin Virus a bit, where getting rid of it cuts down a LOT of the more sadistic urges. So the boys get a mostly-tamed but still-pretty-fucking-insane BloodMoon Twins that basically is just the feral crazy guy that hangs around Animal from Muppets lol and idk stays with Monty cuz hes more easygoing on the violent habits and they need to NOT be anywhere near the daycare.

And maybe I'll watch the episode and be alright with it, but it just sucks cuz this would work SO GOOD and I know the showrunners wouldn't do it. So now I've had to make this fucking long ass post and y'all hafta deal with it.

And maybe someday I'll write a drabble this and the other SAMS scenes I've imagined...

So yeah, sorry about the rambling and shit. I hate how emotionally involved I get with this show that I love. And I'll go ahead and tag @garbagechocolate out of obligation X)

[convenientalias]

Ranking Every Park Sung-woong Movie I've Watched

This year, deep in a Park Sung-woong obsession haze, I set out to watch a bunch of Park Sung-woong movies, wondering if I could rank all the movies he was ever in. I did not end up watching all his movies. I did, however, watch 15. So today I am finally going to rank the 15 I did watch so that people will know what movies of his are worth watching and which are less so, and you will not have to strike out blindly like I did.

(Notable absence: I haven't watched The Dude In Me, I'm sorry. Yes, he did win an award for it, and I mean to watch it someday. I just haven't gotten around to it yet and I didn't want to procrastinate this post any longer when I have no idea when I will.

If there are other great PSW movies I've missed, feel free to recommend them!)

So.

Starting with the worst.

15. The Closet (2020)

This is the worst movie I watched this summer for Park Sung-woong purposes. It's a bad movie in and of itself; it's a not very thrilling thriller, and the main characters aren't likeable or interesting. However, PSW's role in it is worse. He's in about three scenes and in one of them he's killed like two seconds in. Also his worst death scene I've seen.

However, he was pretty creepy in a flashback, featuring that classic menacing PSW smile. So I'll give him that.

14. A Man of Reason (2023)

I wanted to rank this movie lowest purely because of the haircut, but I had to be just. It IS a bad haircut, to be clear. And it's not impossible to make Park Sung-woong look good in long hair (see: A Friend In Need). I guess they wanted to change up his typical cold, clean cut gangster look typified in A New World, but if this is where you were going with it...

Anyway, maybe I could forgive the haircut if PSW's role was actually good in this movie, but instead he's given a few ominous scenes as a gang leader and then one of his underlings basically takes over the plot and he only appears once ever again for the rest of the movie. He Does Not Matter. This is a movie for fans of Jung Woo-sung or Kim Nam-gil; they're both pretty good in it. It is not a movie for a fan of Park Sung-woong.

13. Office (2015)

I'm gonna be real with you: I love this movie! And that's saying something bc it's a slasher and I don't really like slashers. Its real strength is its female protagonist, played by Go Ah-sung. Her workplace problems are relatable and tense, and her involvement in the (somewhat supernatural) killings at the office slowly builds in a very satisfying manner. As a thriller, absolutely recommend.

As a Park Sung-woong movie, though, eh. PSW's character is a cop. He's there to investigate crimes and provide an outsider perspective, but while he's billed as a main character, he doesn't really matter much to the plot. And PSW plays him very straight, little of his signature style coming through. I don't dislike the character but I think pretty much any middle aged man could have acted it equally well. However, good for PSW playing a leading non-villainous role in 2015--at that point he was definitely still fighting the villain typecast (by now, he still does play villains of course but he also has a fair share of protagonist roles under his belt; at this point in his career, less so, at least in cinema).

12. The Tooth and the Nail (2017)

Primarily, Park Sung-woong's role in this movie is as a framing device: he's a prosecuting attorney presenting a complicated case of murder and revenge. He is not at all the main character, but you do still root for him, and he has a lot of smarmy charm. And he's a bit of a deuteragonist in his own way: while the main character fights a battle of revenge in the main plot, PSW drives the action in the courtroom and keeps things from getting boring in parts of the plot that could otherwise come across as drily procedural.

11. The Wild (2023)

Park Sung-woong is actually the lead in this movie. It's just not a good movie.

He's a washed up boxer, previously involved in a gang and now trying to disentangle himself. (But honestly, not trying that hard.) He becomes interested in a woman, a sex worker at a club run by the gang, and tries to protect her. Meanwhile all the gang allegiances become a hot mess.

There are some good fight scenes in this, and there's a LOT of Park Sung-woong to watch. But his character feels a bit wobbly--like, I never totally got what was driving him. Sometimes it would seem to be one thing, sometimes another. Too much weight is put on the romance, which has no chemistry to back it up, and not a lot of logical build up either. Sometimes you feel PSW falling back into his typical gangster style, which for this character doesn't make sense; he's not meant to be deeply entrenched or classy the way most PSW gangsters are.

So I don't love this PSW character. But I did enjoy the movie as an easy watch; it's mostly afterwards that I got frustrated by its flaws and all the missed potential.

10. Tabloid Truth (2014)

Here we have the first of the good PSW villains on this list ;) The majority of this movie follows an idol's manager (played by Kim Kang-woo) looking into who spread poisonous rumors about her through the tabloids before her death. Technically the main antagonist of the movie is a shady politician who masterminded everything. HOWEVER. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT GUY. because Park Sung-woong is playing his right hand man, a hitter who threatens, tortures, and kills as needed to keep people quiet and in line for his boss.

Kim Kang-woo and Park Sung-woong have incredible whump chemistry in this movie. Every scene they're in together is tense and menacing. There's finger breaking. There's strangling. It's not too graphic, actually, but PSW definitely comes across as a threat and adds tension to the movie that it otherwise kinda lacks. Some sexy menace. You know.

This movie could rank higher if Park Sung-woong had more screentime. As it is, he dominates through a handful of scenes--I enjoyed watching the movie primarily for him but it's not too high up there on my list of PSW villains.

9. A Friend In Need (2010)

This movie is about a businessman who, in the middle of a midlife crisis, runs into an "old friend" who always used to come save him when he was in trouble when they were kids. Suddenly, the businessman's enemies start turning up dead...

Park Sung-woong, if you hadn't guessed, is the "old friend" (and if you know psychological thrillers, you may guess where that's headed). He is a spooky spooky guy. He's cheerful and friendly, but also commanding and soooo creepy. Also, he has medium-long hair and looks great in it, proving that A Man of Reason HAD NO EXCUSE but I won't go into that right now.

Once again, if PSW had more actual screentime in this movie, it could easily be higher on the list.

8. Ok! Madam (2020)

In this movie, Park Sung-woong plays the husband of a spy (who turns out to be a spy himself). The two are on a train that gets hijacked and have to take down a bunch of enemy agents. It's good action comedy fun.

I do tend to prefer a thriller/ominous PSW to a comedic PSW. However, I also think he can be funnier than this. I always enjoy PSW most in a comedy when he's a little bit understated, maybe even deadpan. This movie is more slapstick and over the top, which I don't think is his strength. However, if you've ever wanted to see PSW play a wife guy, get into fights, and get tied up, it really is a lot of fun.

7. The Deal (2015)

This is the only simple serial killer Park Sung-woong I know of, and he enjoys it. I've seen reviews that say PSW smiled too much in this movie, but I disagree. He has the perfect serial killer smile and he should show it off. He could have smiled the whole movie and that would have been okay with me.

But if you need more than Park Sung-woong smiling in a movie, how about Park Sung-woong Killing People, or Park Sung-woong getting into a fight totally naked in the showers in prison? (I personally think the problem with taking him seriously as a villain in this movie is not the smile but the amount of fanservice.)

6. Live Stream (2023)

After watching The Deal and mostly coming away thirsty, I thought Park Sung-woong couldn't genuinely creep me out anymore. Then I watched Live Stream :(.

Live Stream explores the dark web, focusing on hidden cameras and sexual assault. While there is no actual sexual assault in this movie in the end, it is not a comfortable watch. Park Sung-woong plays a man running a live stream of a sexual assault (which ultimately does not take place, but the movie skates close). It's a movie with a dirty, creepy, tense tone--definitely not for everyone. (If you're interested in watching but want some spoilers to know what to expect, feel free to message me).

Apart from how sheerly creepy Park Sung-woong is in this movie, I have to say it does a good job of maintaining tension with a limited scope. Primarily the movie focuses on just two men, each sitting at a computer screen. And yet, you have to watch it with the sense of watching a train crash; it's not easy to look away. And that speaks to good writing and cinematography, but most of all the acting of both Park Sung-woong and his co-star Park Sun-ho.

I don't think this movie is a fun watch. But it is very well acted.

5. Bear Man (2023)

This movie is so fuckign wholesome and funny. Park Sung-woong plays a dual role of twin bears that have turned into humans, one adopted by friendly scientists and one adopted by a mafia boss who turns him into a human weapon. There's not a ton of plot; it's mostly just a movie of watching Park Sung-woong act kind of like a bear, and that's enough.

Park Sung-woong's characters are both so cute in this movie. The main bear is cheerful and friendly, kind of dumb but gifted with bear strength and super senses. He loves his family and his friends and his neighbors and really just wants to help people out. Meanwhile, the gangster bear has been trained to fight and obey his boss without question, but he obviously just wants love and warmth which he's lacked his whole life. I want to give them the world <3

Remember how I said I preferred more understated comedy for Park Sung-woong? This is more what I meant. It's not actually that understated--there's plenty of physical comedy in PSW catching fish with his hands and teeth, or collapsing into hibernation whenever it's cold. But PSW's characters are fairly grounded; they might be unusual people, and not the smartest, but they act pretty down to earth and even quiet a lot of the time, and PSW doesn't have to over-act to sell the humor of a scene.

It's simply a fun movie.

--

Okay, ever movie after this point is literally trying to kill me in the effort of ranking them. They're simply excellent movies and Park Sung-woong is killing it.

I've reordered it fifty times. So this ranking is how I feel about them right now, but I can't say it's really that definitive.

They're definitely all worth a watch!

4. New World (2013)

This is it. The role that made Park Sung-woong type cast as a classy gangster forever. I wondered before watching it if it could really be that good. The movie in general is slightly better than average gangster fare. Park Sung-woong in this movie? He is that good.

We're talking sinister smiles, shit talking, palling around with the henchmen, threatening to kill a doctor bc your boss is dead, menacing your rivals even from behind bars, dying serenely with a smile on your face style classy gangster. This is some Good Stuff. He isn't even the main character of this movie. He isn't even in the TOP THREE main characters of this movie. And yet, and yet, and yet.

Personally I wished he was in every scene of the movie and also that he won his gang war but you can't always get what you want, especially in Korean gangster movies. Anyway if you've ever wondered, "Is Park Sung-woong in New World really THAT iconic?", yes. Yes he is.

3. For the Emperor (2014)

For the Emperor is like if someone watched New World and they were like, hey, we love that PSW guy playing a classy mafia boss. What if we took that guy and he was still a gang boss but now he's actually got a secret heart of gold and then we gave him a subordinate to have a complicated, possessive, homoerotic relationship with? And there were lots of knife fights and he got whumped and had to be saved like a damsel in distress?

Obviously this is very much up my alley!

I think as a movie, New World may possibly be better. However, in terms of pure dysfunctional slashiness, For the Emperor takes the cake. It also has way more Park Sung-woong in it, as PSW is one of two main characters.

2. Method (2017)

Some of you may have hoped Method would win the ranking purely for being gay. Some of you may not have known Park Sung-woong was ever in a gay movie. Anyway: Yes! Yes, this is the one and only Park Sung-woong BL and I do love it. Yes, I love it partly for the slashiness and gay kisses etc. But there's so much more to Method than just the fact that it's gay. It's also a psychological thriller, and I love the tension and suspense of the second half of the movie just as much as the mellow, gradually building romance of the first.

And I love Park Sung-woong's character. Don't get me wrong: As a person, he's scum. He's cheating on his wife, and pursuing a significantly younger man with no intention of commitment, a younger man who's kind of his mentee and looks up to him as something of an authority figure. But. It is very hot of him to do that. And he's got his own complexities. He's committed to his art to such an extent that he loses himself in it; he's committed to his art to such an extent that it's going to ruin his life.

Also it's just very satisfying to watch him GET WRECKED oh my god. I've watched this movie... maybe 3 times now? 4? and I know I will be watching it again. It's just such a fuckign ride. You gotta.

1. Daemuga: Sorrow and Joy (2022)

And here we have it, folks: My favorite Park Sung-woong movie is Daemuga.

I don't think a lot of people will agree with me on this choice, if only because I don't think a lot of people have WATCHED Daemuga. It's a movie about three shamans who get entangled with an ambitious gangster. Park Sung-woong for once is not playing the gangster. He's a middle aged shaman whose shamanic abilities have failed him, who has become a drunk and starts the movie in prison. Throughout the movie, he has to regain his spiritual powers and find himself again, struggling to return to the person he once was, a successful and well-known shaman. He also is trying to protect a younger woman from the gangster, who wants something from her she's not able to give.

Daemuga is a FUN movie. It is a thriller too, and has some tense scenes, some action scenes--but mostly, we're watching characters explain who they are and watching them interact and grow. I love the swagger of Park Sung-woong's character. He's a has-been, but at least he HAS been, while he's dealing with two shamans who are new to the world of shamanism and lack experience if not talent. He's sometimes pitiful (and intimidated by the gangster villain) and sometimes full of bravado. Even when cowed, he hangs tight to a core of inner strength, the will to protect and to become someone stronger than he currently is. Also in one scene he wears full face paint. I just simply love him. What more can I say?

--

If you disagree with this ranking, I'd be curious to hear yours! Also, this summer I combined my movie watching quest with an attempt to write fanfic for as many of these movies as I could. so if you'd be interested in that, here's a link to that series.

I love Park Sung-woong movies <3

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: October Wrap-Up.

Gr8 news: I am no longer very far behind on my NaNo prep reading!! I had to drop JUST LIKE HOME (reread) and HOUSE OF LEAVES, but I got through the rest of my Haunted House and/or Aliens and/or Parasite/Fungus TBR. Here they all are!

Photos and/or reviews linked:

SHRIEK - ★★★★ I think SHRIEK Is my favorite volume of the Ambergris trilogy, taken as a whole--the one-way conversation Duncan was having with Janice was a really neat narrative choice, and then the reveal in the Afterword's Afterword was, in true VanderMeer fashion, mind-blowing.

FINCH - ★★★★ I was actually surprised by how much I liked this one. It helped me figure out a LOT about what kinds of power dynamics I enjoy in borderline-dystopian fiction, and what intrigues me most about limited agency. It wrapped the story up almost too neatly, for a VanderMeer, but I did still have a good time and blitzed through it quickly. Given this one and SHRIEK, I'm counting the Whole Series as a Four-Star read--I'd like to reread it someday, now that I know what's going on.

LEECH - ★★★★★ (reread) STILL ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVES, OFFICIALLY!! It's very gothic and heavy and fucked up, but it does FASCINATING things with POV, and worldbuilding, and storytelling frameworks. PLEASE check the content warnings, but if none of those are hard no's for you, definitely pick this one up. I suspect anyone for whom Animorphs was a Formative Influence will adore this (but so far my sample size is really only 1)--please prove me right.

A HOUSE WITH GOOD BONES - ★★★½ This was fun! Not my favorite Kingfisher (that award still goes to HOLLOW PLACES), but I had a good time--I laughed, I squealed over vultures, I blasted through pages to get to the end.

STARLING HOUSE - ★★★★ Alix E. Harrow always manages to write exactly my catnip, somehow. Maybe it's the ADHD, but I'm constantly finding connections to my own writing projects in her work, and STARLING HOUSE was no exception! I liked that this one was more modern, and the sibling dynamic was precious, and I love weird sentient houses where space is more of a suggestion than a hard and fast rule. I'll probably reread this one for Driscoll purposes!

WOODWORM - ★★★½ So much rage in such a tiny volume, and I was Absolutely Here For It. I don't tend to read much lit fic, but I do try to read a lot in translation, and I thought this one did very cool stuff with Spanish--the prose felt natural in English, but I loved the linguistic details the translators left in Spanish and how much depth that added. I feel like this one might be a good fit for Carmen Maria Machado fans, too.

HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE - ★★★ Call this a low 3, from me. It was Fine, I guess. I liked what he did with the act structure (labeling parts as stages of grief was very cool), and I liked the family dynamics and history, but a lot of the humor didn't land for me (I got a few sensible chuckles, but a bunch of it wasn't funny), and the "oh this author is A Man, huh" moments made me roll my eyes (seriously: Who thinks about their ~breasts~ when an angry taxidermied squirrel is clawing down your shirt?? No One With Breasts, Mr. Dude). This book did at least teach me that I'm not really interested in gore (it's just boring, unlike body horror, my beloved). I might still pick up HORRORSTOR, but I probably won't look into most of his other stuff, if this one is indicative of his general style. Meh.

THE ART OF EXCESS - No rating (didn't read the whole thing). At the end of ALWAYS COMING HOME, Richard Powers mentioned this book as the reason he finally committed to ALWAYS, so I was curious what this Tom Leclair dude had to say about it back in 1989. I had a heck of a time tracking down a copy (it's very out of print, and my local library had to source it from the Library of Congress for me), but I didn't want to buy it to read just the preface/intro/epilogue, because I haven't read any of the other texts he analyzes. Leclair's style was very readable, and I was intrigued by his framework, but I found some of his conclusions eye-rolly, given his sample size. I posted this one because I think Library of Congress books are fun, but I didn't add it to my Goodreads.

BLACK TIDE - ★★★½ This one had me rolling my eyes in the first couple chapters, and I was afraid I wasn't going to like it, but once Fucked Up Shit Started Happening, the momentum really picked up and didn't stop--I blitzed through it way past my bedtime on a school night. It was fucked up and weird and tense and bloody pull-no-punches horror, but it ALSO made me laugh, and I loved our two fuck-ups surviving the apocalypse together. NOTE: Dogs (and Gulls) Are Not Safe, and the cast is small enough that it matters a lot :( if you can't stomach animal harm/death, skip this.

A HALF-BUILT GARDEN - 81/338 pages read; will report back. Enjoying it so far! Glad I put it on my NaNo prep reading list, though not quite for the reasons I planned--the reflections on motherhood as well as parenting outside the binary have been interesting, so far (and that's relevant for my own haunted house endeavors!). A much gentler ride than BLACK TIDE, and the immersive tech reminds me of Murderbot's world, just Earthbound.

Overall! Fabulous month for reading! Anytime I think "wow I need A Break™ from writing or life," this is the type of reading I mean--where I can spend a couple weeks annihilating books within a day to Refill the Words Reservoir.

Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~

Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of last month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:

★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).

★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).

★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.

★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.

★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!

★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!

[a-most-beloved-fool]

fanfic writer interview

tagged by: @spirkme915! Thanks for the tag <3

what fandoms do you write in? Star Trek, pretty much exclusively. Only TOS and DS9 so for (and I haven't even really finished anything DS9, I just have plans and WIPs). I may branch out a smidge someday, but I'll probably stay mostly in Star Trek.

how many words have you published in 2024? 4,763. I am a very slow writer lmao. Honestly even answering these questions feels like overkill with so few words published, but c'est la vie. I'll just pretend that I'm a Real Fanfic Author™, and if I do that for long enough, I eventually will be.

what is your greatest achievement this year? Posting anything at all! I had hoped I would, at the start of last year, but I hadn't really expected it. Now, I'm very glad I did (and that I joined Tumblr!).

what are your top three fics you've written this year? I only wrote two! So. Those.

what was your biggest pit of despair moment? I've had a fic that's been sosoclose to done since. like. July. And I have noooot finished it. So, probably that one. I wound up getting wildly discouraged with it, and have just kind of been, um. ignoring it. in the hopes that it'll start feeling salvageable again soon. It's not bad, I know it's not bad, but I can't actually convince myself that it's not bad, and I can't find the right ways to finish the few areas that still need more meat on their bones. I am fighting the urge to just up and delete half of it

what have you learned? That it feels really, really good to receive comments! I've also been slowly figuring out how best to wrangle my brain into Actually Writing, but it's. a work in progress!

did you beta any fics? any faves you want to shout out? So far, I've not had the chance to beta for anyone.

what three fics have you read this year that you love? Um. Oh god. Just three?? I suppose I'll say We can only be who we are by @jennelikejennay, Vision Awry by @walkingstackofbooks, and there may be a power cut (and maybe i love you so) by granspn (who afaik doesn't have a tumblr, but if they do, lmk and I'll tag them too)

(My bookmarks are always a good place to look for fics I've particularly enjoyed, so if ever you are in need of a rec list, that's a good place to start)

what ideas are percolating for next year? Oh, I have so many WIPs. There are a few in there that I'm very excited about, including one where Kirk drags Spock out of Kolinahr early and one where Spock is pining so obviously (to everyone except Kirk). I'd also kind of like to get a DS9 fic or two (and/or my mcspirk fic) published this year, but that relies on me being considerably more prolific than I was this year, so we'll see what happens. (Though, I should be getting ADHD meds at the end of the month, provided that my EKG checks out, which. will hopefully make things a bit easier lmao. I'll need to fight my brain a little less.)

If I am very, very lucky, I'll even be able to get a fic done for the KS Spring Fever. I've got an idea, but, well. Deadlines are rough, and the mind is fickle. I'll do my best (and anyone reading this has permission to hassle me about it and hold me accountable)!

who do you want to thank? Pretty much everyone who has given me a warm welcome on Tumblr & in the Trek fandom, @spirkme915 and @walkingstackofbooks in particular! I have... never really tried to join a fandom space before, and am also Bad And Lousy at starting conversations and getting to know people, so I'm really very grateful to people who have gone out of their way to be friendly and welcoming. <3 Even if all you've done is Exist As My Mutual or Occasionally Reblog My Posts, I am sending you internet hearts <3 <3 <3

tagging: uhhh @walkingstackofbooks, @purple-iris, @wwillywonka, and anyone else so inspired

[cardinal-copia-popia]

We Will Go Softly Into the Night

(Papa IV x Female Reader)

After getting super emotional during Respite On The Spitalfields at the ritual I attended over the weekend, I NEEDED to write this. For my own sanity's sake, I needed to do this. It was cathartic, even though I'll probably never be able to listen to Respite ever again without crying.

Also here on AO3

(Under the cut for length)

Sister Imperator had just left Copia's room not five minutes ago when he suddenly heard a commotion outside. Could he not just play his video games in peace for once? 

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it!"

"Like hell, he didn't!"

Copia frowned, pausing the game. He was not expecting to hear your voice, especially not so agitated. He was about to stand to see what was going on when you flew into the room, tears standing in your eyes, Aether hot on your heels. 

"Amore?" Copia questioned, now very concerned.

"Why is Saltarian pushing an empty glass coffin through the hallways?!" you demanded.

Copia looked down. "Ah. You saw that."

"Everyone is seeing it. He's making a point to parade it around! I know what this means, Copia! How long were you going to hide it?!"

He stood and stepped up to you, sending a look at Aether, who made a hasty retreat.

"I was not hiding anything, tesoro mio," Copia said gently, his hands on your upper arms. "Saltarian is posturing, nothing more."

You did not look convinced and all but glared up at him through your tears. "The coffin was empty. And they only use the glass ones for Papas. I'm not stupid, Copia."

"I am not going anywhere. I promise."

You shook your head. "I know how this goes. You're going to end up just like Primo and Secondo and Terzo… Someday, I'm going to be looking at you in one of those awful boxes, and I—" You broke off, your voice catching with emotion as your tears finally fell.

Copia pulled you into his arms and gently shushed you. "I promise you, cara mia. Nothing is going to happen to me."

"I don't believe you."

He closed his eyes and nuzzled into your hair. You were right; something was going to happen, but how could he tell you that? He knew his time was up. It was not a matter of if anymore, but rather when. He had a good idea, knowing The Clergy would want to make a show out of it, a spectacle. The bastard Papa who usurped the papacy meets his untimely demise in front of thousands. But how was he supposed to tell you, the love of his life, this?

"If anything happened to you…" you began in a small, broken voice that gripped his heart. "I don't think I could stand it."

"What must I do to convince you?" he murmured, his hand touching your cheek to tilt your face toward his.

You gazed up at him, cheeks stained with tears, eyes red, and he could not help but think you were still so beautiful.

"Don't die."

Copia sighed, but before he could respond, you went on.

"Whatever they do to you, they're going to have to do to me, too."

"Amore—"

"I mean it!" you sobbed. "I can't do this without you! I won't let them take you from me!"

Copia pulled you back onto his bed and into his lap, cuddling you close. You curled around him, pressing your face to his neck, breathing him in.

"You haven't lost me yet," he whispered. "And I promise you, amore mio, that if they do try something, I will fight tooth and nail against it. I swear to you, you will not lose me. You have me forever."

You sniffed. "What about nothing ever lasts forever?"

"My time as Papa will not last forever, but my love for you will. And because of that love, I will always be with you."

"Copia," you cried, clutching to him tighter.

"You have given me so many reasons to live. I will not let them take me away from you so easily."

You lifted your head and touched his cheek. "Promise me again."

He caught your hand and kissed your palm. "I promise. Whatever happens, you will not lose me. Not entirely."

That was not quite what you wanted to hear, he knew, but before you could respond, he kissed you. He kissed you so thoroughly and passionately, hoping to make you forget about this for a while.

And later, when you both lay naked under his covers, spent and panting, clinging to each other for dear life, Copia would promise you again. He would not stop until you believed him.

***************

Copia swiftly made his way through the maze of hallways backstage, hurrying to get to where you were waiting for him. He had to do this quickly. If there was anything to be done now, it was this.

He found you in the wings where you were waiting for the ritual to begin. He grabbed your hand, startling you, and pulled you into a more secluded area, away from any prying eyes and listening ears.

"Copia?"

He swept you up into a kiss, pouring his love into it as best he could, knowing he was about to irreparably hurt you and break his promise. When he broke the kiss, there were tears in your eyes. You knew. You knew what was coming.

"No matter what happens," he began, his tone serious, "no matter what you see tonight, promise me something, amore mio." 

"What? What do you mean? What's going to happen? You're scaring me, Copia!" 

"Promise me!" he demanded, perhaps a bit too forcefully.

"I-I promise." 

Copia nodded and pressed a note into your hands. "Promise me that no matter what occurs tonight, you will do exactly as this note says." You began to open it, but Copia quickly stopped you. "No, not now. Wait until you are alone." 

"Copia, please, don't—" 

He gently shushed you, taking your face in his hands and kissing you sweetly, his thumbs catching the tears that fell. "Now, now… None of that, amore. You'll be strong for me, sì?" You blinked, more tears falling, but you nodded. Copia smiled warmly at you, though it was tinged with sadness. "Bene. Now, I must go. And remember the note! Please, cara mia, it is important you do not forget." 

"I won't."

He hesitated for a moment longer, gazing at you, memorizing your face. "I love you."

Your bottom lip trembled. "I love you, too, Copia."

He felt tears sting his eyes, absolutely hating to do this to you. He pulled you in for another kiss, trying not to think about how final it felt. The last time before it's over….

With great effort, Copia pulled away and walked backward away from you, keeping you in his sight for as long as he could before he finally had to turn and hurry away, carefully brushing his tears away lest he ruin his paint.

"Did you say goodbye?" 

Copia stopped, not looking at her, his shoulders tense and his eyes downcast. Sister Imperator being here only confirmed everything. She had to make sure everything went according to plan. 

"Sì." 

"How did she take it?" 

He shot a glare at his mother. "How do you think? If your intent is to devastate her, this will do it. And do not be surprised if she—" His voice caught as the reality of what he was about to say hit him like a ton of bricks. "Do not be surprised if she wants to follow me." 

"Oh, I'll be keeping an eye on her, don't you worry, C. From now on, she'll hardly be leaving my sight." 

Copia frowned. Did she know? How could she? Unless… He looked up and saw his ghouls gathered ahead of him, waiting and watching. Surely not. 

"The masses are waiting for you, C," the Sister continued. "Don't keep them waiting too long. After all, the show must go on." 

Copia refused to look at her and stalked toward the ghouls. They said nothing, only stared at him, waiting for their cue to head out on stage. 

"Let us get this over with," he growled to them, determined to give the masses the best damned show ever.

*****************

You waited a few moments after Copia left to collect yourself as best you could. But no matter how many deep breaths you took, you still felt like you were on the verge of a breakdown. No matter what he said, you knew this was it. He would not be able to stop it. Copia was only one man against The Clergy. And no one went against The Clergy and won.

With shaky hands, you unfolded the note, already feeling your heart seize upon seeing Copia’s all too familiar handwriting.

Amore mio, 

Whatever you see tonight, for your safety and the safety of the little life growing inside you, you must not ask any questions. There is nothing else to be done. What happens must happen. It is the order of things. But there is one other thing I beg of you to do, cara mia. At the end of the ritual, go to the exit on the farthest side of the venue and make sure you are not followed. Perhaps it is a selfish request, but you will understand when the time comes. For me, amore mio. Do this one last thing for me because where I am going, you cannot follow. And please know that everything I am doing is to keep you safe. 

I love you. Never forget that.

Eternally yours,

Copia

That only confirmed everything. This was well and truly the end. Tonight, you would witness your love’s death, and you could do nothing about it.

You watched the man you loved pour his heart and soul into his performance as only he could, the crowd going absolutely wild with each song played. You had been to every one of Copia’s rituals, but this was hands down the best one ever. He and the ghouls were so in sync. It was glorious to see, and it nearly made you forget about what was about to happen. Nearly, but not completely.

You had no idea how it would happen, so after his speech about not mourning something you will lose, enjoy it while it’s here, and launching into Respite On The Spitalfields, the dread set in full force. You were tense, hardly even paying attention to Copia, looking around to try to figure out how it was going to be done.

It all ended up happening so fast that you barely comprehended it. Between the ghouls suddenly moving, cutting the song short, and the screams of the audience, all you could see beyond the fog machines was a blur of movement. Panic gripped you, and your instinct was to run out to help Copia, but fear kept your feet firmly in place. Because you were so close to the stage, you could hear the vicious snarling from the ghouls but never a sound out of Copia. Dewdrop emerged first, stumbling back to reveal his blood-covered hands. That was when the screaming turned into actual terrified ones. 

The stage crew rushed out, trying to stop the ghouls, but it was too late. The fog cleared away, and there laid Copia’s body, his clothes shredded and stained with blood. Perhaps mercifully, you could not see his face from your vantage point, but it did not matter. Hot tears streaked down your face as you took in the sight before you. It felt like your heart was being ripped from your chest.

You began to collapse, a heartbroken wail tearing past your lips as you felt your world crumble, but two strong hands caught you before you could hit the ground. You began to be moved, pulled, and you fought against it with everything you had in you, desperate to get to Copia, begging them not to take you away from him. 

“Can’t do that, Mama. Besides, Papa told you to leave.”

Aether.

Aether was the one pulling you along, taking you away from the macabre scene. Part of you cursed him. If Aether had been there, none of this would have happened. He would not have let it. He could have stopped them. Is that why Sister Imperator had him replaced?

Aether led you around the perimeter of the venue, taking his time to make sure no one saw you, and out to a secluded driveway. A black car was parked a little ways away, and a man stood nearby, his back to you. He was speaking to a ghoul who had a hood over his head, shrouding his face in shadow, so you had no idea who he was. The ghoul seemed to take notice of you and alerted the man.

As soon as he turned, you felt your knees start to give out, and a body-wracking sob left you. Aether grabbed you so you did not fall.

There before you stood Copia, his face completely free of paint and dressed casually in jeans and a black button-up, making him totally inconspicuous, like just another ritual attendee. And he was totally fine. There was no blood anywhere, no signs of anything that had occurred on stage. He was alive and well before you and hurrying to your side as fast as he could.

"Oh, amore," he breathed, pulling you into his arms.

You could not control your sobs, torn between disbelief and relief. He held fast to you with one arm around your waist while his other hand cradled the back of your head. You clung to him so tightly that you were likely leaving bruises.

"I-I don't understand," you cried. "I saw you! I-I saw—"

Copia shook his head and leaned back enough to pepper your face with kisses. "You saw what needed to be seen. What Sister Imperator expected. My death. My mother had her plans, but I had mine as well." You still did not understand. Copia took your face in his hands. "She wanted me dead, and so I am dead. As far as anyone within the ministry is concerned, I was murdered on stage. She tasked my ghouls with this, but what she does not know is that they are entirely loyal to me."

"So it was all fake?" you asked, your brain struggling to keep up.

"Sì. I am so sorry, amore mio. Everyone had to believe I was dead —even you. But I am selfish. I needed to see you one last time before I left." He caressed your cheek, and you turned into the warmth of his hand, basking in it. "I could not hurt you that way, thinking you had watched me die. But now, I must leave. I must go far away from here."

"Take me with you!" you cried. "Don't leave me— us here alone!"

Copia dropped a hand to your abdomen. “You will be much safer at the Abbey, I assure you. If anyone finds out I am still alive, they will come after me to make sure the job is properly done. You being with me will only put you in danger.”

“I don’t care! I want to go with you! You promised.”

He hung his head, his expression greatly troubled. "I suppose I did. Amore, I cannot stomach the thought of putting you in danger."

"I'm making this decision, Copia," you said firmly, though your voice shook, and clutched the front of his shirt. "I'm going with you."

"You'd better let her come with us, Papa," Aether said.

You glanced at him. "Both of you?"

Copia nodded. "With his involvement in helping me escape, Aether is not safe either. Therefore, he must leave, too." He then sighed. "And so are you, cara mia."

You stared up at him. "You mean it?"

He wrapped his arms around you securely, a look of determination crossing his face. "I do. Absolutely. I want you forever at my side."

More tears filled your eyes. "That's the only place I've ever wanted to be. But where will we go?”

“There is a little place in Italy. I have… friends there.”

You were dubious. “You trust these friends?”

Copia smirked a bit. "With my life."

"Then let's go! Together. The way it should be."

"Sì, amore, the way it should be."

He led her to the car and got in the back with her while Aether got in the front with the other ghoul. You still had no idea who they were, but it did not matter. The only thing that did was the man beside you that let you cuddle up to his side so he could hold you close. Copia repeatedly pressed tender kisses to your face, catching the occasional tear with his lips. When your hand was not resting over his heart to feel its steady beat, your fingers traced over his face, memorizing each line and curve, basking in how alive he was.

“What will they think happened to me?” you asked quietly after a long while.

Copia shrugged. “The truth. You followed me.”

You swallowed hard. “You mean… they’ll all think I’m dead, too.”

Copia obviously did not like this, but he nodded. “Sì. It must be this way. So long as I am alive, I am a threat to them. You carry my heir, cara mia. The Clergy would not let you go so easily if they knew. You would be protected, sì, if you stayed, but if you leave… I worry what they might try to do. A child with claims to the papacy they had no hand in raising…”

You sat up suddenly, your hand pressed to his chest. "I have to go back to the Abbey. Just to grab some things."

"What? No, cara, it is too dangerous!" Copia exclaimed.

"Please, Cope!"

"I can get her in and out without being seen," Aether said from the passenger seat.

Copia looked between him and you, debating. "Fine. If we go now, perhaps we will beat everyone back. But please, amore, do not dally there. If you are caught, you must stay, and I must go on."

You nodded and kissed him briefly. "I understand. Thank you."

He kissed your forehead as you settled against him again. "Do not thank me yet."

"I was more so thanking you for letting me go with you." You pressed closer to him. "I would have followed had I known you were alive. I wouldn't have stopped until I found you."

Copia sighed. “I know. As you say, we will go together, amore mio, softly into the night.” 

******************

It was evening the next day when you pulled up to a secluded entrance to the Abbey you did not even know existed. But, perhaps that was by design. Either way, Aether led you through the Abbey, taking paths to avoid anyone and doubling back if he heard anything suspicious ahead.

You were just about to head up the stairs to the papal suites when Aether stopped short and threw an arm out to stop you.

There on the steps stood Dew.

Aether stepped in front of you, blocking you just in case the fire ghoul tried anything. But all Dew did was stare back for a long moment. 

“You’re lucky I saw you,” he finally said. “This way, before Sister Imperator comes back.” 

Aether glanced back at you, giving you a warning look. Stay behind me. You were not going to go anywhere else, anyway. 

Dew led you the rest of the way to the suite and let you inside. There were only a few things you needed to grab. Perhaps it was stupid and selfish to come back for these, but these were mementos from your past, both from your family and from your time with Copia. You hated the thought of losing them forever.

As you grabbed a suitcase to put them in, you looked back toward the door just in time to see Aether grab the front of Dew’s shirt and slam him up against the wall. You continued gathering your things as you listened to them.

“You better not be setting us up,” Aether growled.

“Do you really think I’d hurt her?” Dew asked, nodding toward you. “Or you? Or Papa? None of us would! The plan went perfectly!”

"You sure seemed to relish what you did on stage."

"It had to be believable! Everyone had to believe we killed Papa."

"What did they threaten you with?" Aether asked in a low voice, letting Dew go. "The Clergy knows how loyal ghouls are to their Papas. What were they going to do with you if you refused?"

"Banish us back to Hell, what else?" Dew shook his head. "And not back to our respective realms."

Aether shook his head. "I wish I understood why they were doing this. Why they wanted to get rid of Papa in the first place.”

"He was becoming too well-liked, loved. With the masses behind him, they worried they were losing their power over him. Out of any of the Papas so far, Copia had the greatest advantage to end them." 

"And he still does! If Copia ever decides to come back…"

Dew nodded. "That will be the end of The Clergy."

Aether was about to respond but quickly turned toward the door. Before either ghoul could react, the door slammed open.

Sister Imperator stood there, looking at both ghouls before cutting her eyes over toward you. "Going somewhere?" she asked calmly.

"I, um…" you began.

She walked up to you, her eyes never leaving you. You stared back, refusing to waver no matter how much she intimidated you. The pair of you simply stared at each other for a long while before she finally spoke.

"Take care of him."

You blinked. She knew? Your confusion must have been extremely obvious.

"He's my son. Do you really think I wanted him dead?" she asked. "But no one crosses The Clergy. Not even me." She looked back at the ghouls and then nodded to your suitcase. "Come. We'll need to hurry. I assume you came in the back way?"

"Yes," Aether replied.

The Sister nodded and led them out. Aether grabbed your bag, and you numbly followed them out. Could you really trust Sister Imperator? If she knew Copia was not dead, what if she happened to let it slip?

As you passed by a frosted window, you heard a squeak. There sat Rigatoni on the windowsill. As you walked by, you held out your hand, letting the rat climb up your arm to settle on your shoulder. Copia would be happy to see him again and to be able to take him along, too.

As you stepped out into the moonlight, the Sister stopped short, staring at the car parked there.

Copia stared out of the car's open window at his mother. She nodded at him, a look of understanding passing between the two. Copia nodded back and rolled up the window.

"Take care of him," she said again to you, her voice trembling ever so slightly, her eyes never leaving the car. "And take care of my grandchild."

"I will, Sister. I promise." 

She looked at you, and you could see tears shining in her eyes. "If there's ever a chance, ever a way…" She sighed. "Some day, I hope to see you again."

You nodded. "Some day."

She swallowed hard and took a step back. "Go. Start your new life. We’ll manage here."

"Goodbye, Sister."

She did not say anymore but stood and watched as you drove off, disappearing into the night.

****************

Copia held your hand the entire car ride to the airport, the entire flight, and the whole car ride out to the Italian countryside. You watched out the windows in awe, having never been to Italy before. Copia had always wanted to take you someday; he just wished now that the circumstances were different.

Your mood improved greatly over the course of the trip, and when you reached the house, Copia watched you with a smitten smile as you 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over your new home. Just wait until you see the inside, amore.

With your hand still clasped firmly in his, he led you through the house and out to the back, where his friends were waiting.

You stopped dead in your tracks, pulling back on Copia's hand. He looked at you, unable to stop the small smile from tugging at his lips as you took in the sight before you.

"Fratellino! Good to see you."

Copia turned to face his raven-haired brother and hugged him. "And you, Terzo."

Terzo grinned and looked past Copia at you. "Something wrong, cara mia? You look as though you've seen a ghost."

You swallowed hard. "Make that three."

Primo and Secondo stood and stepped up to stand behind Terzo.

"We did not realize you were coming along," Primo said, reaching out to take your hand and kiss the back of it. "I am glad to see you again, Sorella."

"Are you sure that was wise?" Secondo asked Copia.

"I didn't give him a choice," you responded before Copia could. You then shook your head. "I don't understand. You're all here. Alive. But… Your bodies are on display at every ritual!"

"That is all they are," Secondo answered. "Bodies. Perfect copies of us. No one would dare desecrate the body of a Papa to find out if those in the coffins are really ours, not even Sister Imperator. Why would she double-check when she was assured that their bodies were perfectly preserved to be put on display?"

"The only thing they needed was the confirmation of no pulse," Terzo added.

Primo nodded. "And thanks to a few home remedies, I was able to simulate that in all of us, long enough for us to get away while our ghouls replaced us with those perfect copies."

“They were exactly as you saw. A body, but only a copy. ”

You looked at Copia. "And you? There's a body back there that looks just like you?"

He nodded. "Sì. And it, too, will be displayed at every ritual."

You shook your head again. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"Not at the moment," Copia said. "Let us let you get used to this right now."

"If I ever will!" 

The brothers exchanged smiles. Primo stepped up to your side and placed your hand in the crook of his arm. "Come, Sorella. I will show you to your room, let you freshen up before lunch, sì?"

Copia could tell from your expression that you were overwhelmed but happy. He knew this was the last thing you expected to find here. He watched you until you were out of sight.

"It was dangerous bringing her here,” Secondo said, turning to Copia. “If anyone were to find out—”

“No one will find out. I will make sure of that,” Copia vowed.

Secondo shook his head. “I sure hope you know what you are doing, Copia.”

“So do I…”

An hour later, Copia went up to your room, finding you staring out the window. He stepped up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“This is really going to be our life, huh?”

His heart sank. “Regret it already?”

You turned sharply and looked up at him. “Of course not! Never! But it will take some getting used to.”

"I know… And I am sorry it must be this way."

You hugged him tightly. "So long as you're here, alive, I don't care where we are. I just can't stand the thought of losing you."

"Now, you won't have to, amore. I am not going anywhere."

He moved you just enough to kiss you, both of you bathed in the noontime sunlight. For the first time in months, Copia felt content. Perfectly and wholly content with you in his arms, safe, with the prospect of your child arriving just a few months away.

If this is what came from his perceived death, then all of it was worth it.

The two of you, together, eternally bound by your love.