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rpf-bat · 4 years ago

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To Join The Black Parade

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 11. Prompt: “Death Parade”.

You receive an unexpected phone call, from your old friend Gerard. He asks you if you’d like to play a role, in the upcoming music video, for ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’. But, when he sees you on set, something comes over him, that neither of you ever expected.

You sat in the studio, in front of a blank canvas. You glanced up at the diploma, hanging in on the wall, in the corner. It was proof that you had graduated from SVA, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts. But, despite being certifiably good at art (on paper), you still felt like an impostor, on days like this, when you had no inspiration at all.

Your brush hovered over the empty white space, when, suddenly, you were interrupted, by the sound of the phone ringing. As soon as you saw who was calling, your expression brightened.

��Hi, Y/N,” greeted the familiar voice of Gerard Way. Simply hearing your old friend speak, was enough to make your spirits, instantly lift.

“Hi, Gee,” you smiled, moving the phone closer to your ear. “How have you been?”

Even though you talked on the phone all the time, you hadn’t seen him in person, since last summer. He had briefly returned to New Jersey, to play a Warped Tour gig. You’d hung out with him afterwards, backstage. It had been so fun - and yet, so fleeting.

“I’ve been good,” Gerard replied jovially. “I’m sorry for calling you so early, though.”

“It’s not early,” you chuckled. “It’s like, eleven o’clock.”

“Well, here, it’s only eight,” Gerard reminded you.

The East Coast was no longer his home base. He had moved to Los Angeles, a few years ago, when his band started to take off. This put him in the Pacific time zone, three hours behind you.

“How’s California treating you?” you asked. “Still staying in that weird haunted house?”

“Nah, we’re done recording the album now,” Gerard updated you. “We’re actually getting ready to film the music video, that’s gonna go with the lead single.”

“Oh, cool!” you said, interested. “What’s the single’s title?”

“It’s called ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’,” Gerard revealed cryptically.

“What’s the Black Parade?” you asked curiously.

“I have this concept for the video - well, for the whole album, really,” Gerard explained. “This guy is like, dying of cancer, and Death comes for him, in the form of his favorite childhood memory.”

“The memory is….a parade?” you guessed.

“That’s right!”, Gerard confirmed. “I kind of based it off, like, when my dad would take me and Mikey into the city, at Thanksgiving time, to see the Macy’s parade.”

“Oh, of course,” you nodded. As a fellow New Jersey native, only a ferry-ride away from the Big Apple, you had grown up going to the parade every autumn, too.

“So, this whole, like, procession of marchers, is gonna welcome The Patient into the afterlife,” Gerard went on.

“That sounds amazing,” you said honestly. “I can’t wait to see the video, when it’s finished.”

“That’s actually what I was calling you about,” Gerard confessed slyly. “We’re gonna have a lot of extras in this video shoot. Like I said, a whole parade of people. I was wondering, if you might want to be in it?”

“You want me to be in the music video?”, you repeated, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Gerard grinned. “I just thought, it would be really nice, to see you again, and have you be a part of this whole art project with me.”

Art project. That was one way to describe it. Gerard was a big Hollywood star now, with fans all over the globe. But, he still talked about the album his band was working on, in the same way, that he used to talk to you about the comics he wanted to write. Deep down, he was still the same storyteller that you used to see in class every day.

“Gerard, I would love to,” you accepted the offer, immediately. “I’ve missed you. It’s going to be so great, to hang out again.”

“I can’t wait,” Gerard said happily. “Don’t even worry about the airfare, I can get the label to fly you out.”

“Thank you,” you said giddily. You couldn’t wait to see your old friend again.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The flight to Los Angeles was long, but uneventful, and the day of the video shoot, arrived before you knew it. You gasped, when you walked in, and saw the set. There was a huge parade float, surrounded by a desolate, gray landscape. You wondered how long it had taken the set designers to put it together. You felt nervous, as you watched the other extras milling about, most of them already in costume.

They’re real actors, you thought anxiously. I’m just some random person.

Your nerves eased, as soon as you heard a voice behind you.

“Y/N, you made it!” Gerard said delightedly. You turned to face him.

“Whoa!” you gasped. “Your hair!”

“I know, it’s a big change,” Gerard laughed, running his hand through his short-cropped, bleach-blonde locks. Last time you had seen him, his hair had been dark, and down to his shoulders.

“What do you think?” he asked, seemingly a little self-conscious.

“It’s very different,” you said honestly, “But, I like it. A new look, to signify a new era!”

“Exactly,” Gerard nodded. “See, I knew you would get it….I gotta tell the guys you’re here. They’re gonna be psyched, to see you again.”

“I’m psyched to see Mikey, and Frankie, and Toro again, too,” you grinned. They were all old friends of yours.

“Oh, but first, I gotta introduce you to the director,” Gerard remembered. “His name’s Samuel Bayer. He’s amazing - he’s the same guy that directed the music video for ‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’, back in the day.”

“No way!” you gasped. ‘Bullet’ was your favorite Smashing Pumpkins song.

“I know, right?” Gerard grinned. “And just last year, he did some really cool videos with Green Day, like ‘American Idiot’. I’m so happy that we were able to get him to work with us, on this video. I think it’s going to be amazing.”

“You’re such a flatterer, Gerard,” said a dark-haired man, walking over to you. “Hi, I’m Samuel.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself, shaking the director’s hand.

“I heard you’re an SVA grad, too, right?” Samuel smiled.

“Yeah, Gerard and I both graduated in ‘99,” you nodded. “You went, there, too?”

“Yeah, I was in the class of ‘87,” Samuel explained.

“Wow...small world.”

“For sure,” Samuel laughed. “Anyway, Y/N, are you ready to get changed into your costume?”

“What am I going to wear?” you wondered.

“Oh, you’re going to love it,” Gerard gushed. “We had Colleen Atwood design all the costumes for us. She’s incredible.”

“She’s the same lady, who designed the costumes for Edward Scissorhands,” Samuel added informatively.

“Whoa,” you gaped. This really was an all-star film crew. Did you really belong here?

“Here’s your outfit,” Samuel smiled, handing you in the garment bag. “Go ahead and get changed, we’ll meet you back here in five.”

“O-okay,” you gulped, suddenly unsure, if you could pull the role off - no matter how small it was.

“Don’t worry,” Gerard assured you. “I know you better than anyone, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thanks,” you said softly, calmed by his words.

“I have to go fake-sing for the camera,” Gerard chuckled. “I’ll see you soon.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You took the garment bag into the bathroom, unzipping it, to reveal the costume inside.

The jacket, you noticed, was black, with a marching band style collar - pretty similar to what Gerard was wearing, when you walked in. The only difference was that yours was sleeveless. Instead of pants, your jacket was paired with a black skirt.

You hesitantly changed into the outfit. You flushed, when you looked at yourself in the mirror. The skirt was short - almost too short.

You didn’t wear things like this very often. You constantly got paint on your clothes, so you never wanted to wear anything too fancy. It would just get ruined. Most of the time, you could be found in oversized sweaters, and ratty jeans.

I can’t refuse to wear it, though, you told yourself. Even if it feels kind of uncomfortable….Gerard spent a lot of time and money to bring me out here. The least I can do, is play my role, without complaining.

You walked back onto the set, your legs feeling cold and exposed. Gerard and the band had just wrapped a scene on the float, miming playing their instruments.

“Cut!” Samuel called. “Okay, I think that was a good take!”

Done with his part, Gerard strolled back over to you.

“.....Wow,” he gaped when he laid eyes on you, his eyes widening.

“Wow, what?” you blinked, feeling self-conscious.

“Wow, you look amazing,” Gerard said, blushing. “I...I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear something like this before.”

“Oh, you think it suits me?” you asked hesitantly. You hadn’t expected this reaction.

“Absolutely,” Gerard complimented. “Have you been...working out?”

“Oh, you mean, my legs?” you realized, blushing. “Yeah, I’ve been jogging a lot…”

He stared at your uncovered thighs, making your cheeks turn hot.

“Ah, there’s my Fear!” Samuel smiled, walking over to you.

“Fear?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, you’ll be playing the role of Fear,” Samuel explained, “and this young lady here, will be playing Regret.”

He indicated a petite actress, whose costume was identical to yours. “Regret” gave you a friendly wave.

“As soon as you’re done in the makeup chair, you ladies can do your scene with Lukas,” Samuel directed.

“Who’s Lukas?” you asked.

“Lukas Haas is playing The Patient,” Gerard explained. “He’s a great actor.”

“Oh, our main character,” you nodded. “Ok, I guess I better head over there!”

You were surprised, how Gerard’s eyes seemed to follow you, as you walked away. It was almost as if he didn’t want you to leave his side.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“Ok, we’re going to start moving the parade float forward!” Samuel announced. “Processioners, I need you to start walking forward, beside it, okay?”

You stood in line, and at his signal, you and the rest of the ‘parade’ began to march forward, towards the camera. You tried not to glance up too obviously at Gerard, who was standing on top of the float, beside you. The guys were up there with him, in matching marching band jackets. You had to admit, it was a striking look.

Lukas stumbled towards the front of the parade, wearing his hospital gown and slippers. He looked confused, and sad - a befitting expression, for a character, who was supposed to be newly deceased.

“Ok, cut!” Samuel called out. “Gerard, you’re going to lean over the side of the float, and put the medal on Lukas, okay?”

“Ok,” Gerard nodded, dangling a military-ish cross on a chain. “Like this?”

“Perfect,” Samuel praised. “Now, I need my Fear and Regret, to come stand on either side of Lukas, okay?”

“R-Right,” you stammered, moving to the spot on Lukas’ right that Samuel was pointing at.

“Now, Fear and Regret are going to kiss The Patient on the cheek,” Samuel explained.

“They’re what?” Gerard frowned, his expression turning suddenly sour.

“It’s in the script,” Samuel reminded him.

“Just on the cheek?” you clarified.

“Yeah,” Regret confirmed. “You do one, and I’ll lean in, and do the other, at the same time.”

“Oh, okay,” you shrugged. “I can do that.”

Sure, it felt a little awkward, since you’d just met Lukas twenty minutes ago. But, at least it wasn’t on the mouth, or anything.

Samuel signaled for the camera man to start filming again, and you leaned over, in sync with Regret, and planted a peck on the actor’s face.

“Cut!” Samuel shouted. “Ladies, I’m sorry, I need you to do that again.”

“Why?!” Gerard demanded. “I thought that take was fine.”

“Because you were making a face in the background,” Samuel groaned.

“N-No I wasn’t!” Gerard denied, blushing.

“You were,” Samuel insisted. “You’re supposed to have a neutral expression, and be looking at the camera. But, you were looking down at them instead.”

“You were pouting, dude,” Frank teased. “Come on, let’s try it again.”

You repeated the take, leaning over, and kissing Lukas’ cheek again.

“Cut!” Samuel called again, looking frustrated. “Gerard, the rest of the band was looking at the camera just fine. You’re still staring downwards, with that surly expression.”

“I’m not surly,” Geraed argued. “I was making a totally normal face.”

“No, he’s right,” Mikey shook his head. “You weren’t looking, where you were supposed to look at all.”

“Let’s give it one more try,” Gerard sighed. “I promise, I’ll get it right this time.”

I hope so, you thought with a frown. How many times, am I going to have to put my lips on this guy’s face today?

“You know what,” Samuel shrugged, “why don’t we just take a break for lunch, and try again in thirty?”

This was fine with you - you were already bored, with the repetition. You wished you knew what was throwing Gerard off.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You found Gerard by the craft services table, listlessly eating a handful of Cheetos.

“Are you okay?” you asked him softly, as you filled your own plate with snacks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gerard insisted. “Don’t worry about me.”

“What is it that you’re having trouble with?” you wondered. “I mean, all you’re doing in that scene, is standing still up there, right?”

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be this hard,” Gerard frowned. “I don’t know….something about watching you plant one on Lukas, is just getting on my nerves.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I….I don’t know,” Gerard blushed. “I just don’t want you touching him, for some reason.”

“You’re the one, who called me, and asked me to play this specific role,” you reminded him.

“I know I did,” Gerard acknowledged. “I just….I didn’t think it would bother me this much.”

“Why does it bother you?” you asked. “Like, what is it that goes through your head, when you see me do that?”

“I guess I feel…..jealous,” Gerard admitted shyly, dropping his voice, so only you would hear.

“.....Jealous?” you repeated, heart pounding. What was he saying?

Gerard’s whole face turned red, and he stared downwards, suddenly very interested in his shoes.

“....Gee,” you whispered, touching his arm. “Look at me...are you telling me, that you wish, I was kissing your cheek, instead?”

You two had been friends for almost a decade now, but he had never made a move on you, or given you any indication that he desired anything more, than a platonic relationship. But….the truth was, you’d always found him incredibly handsome.

Gerard’s hazel eyes glanced up, hesitantly meeting yours.

“As soon as I saw you walk out here, in that skirt,” Gerard confessed, his voice soft and husky, “I wanted to kiss you, on far more, than just your cheeks.”

“....You want to kiss me on the mouth?” you realized, your face and body going suddenly so hot.

“God help me, I do,” Gerard breathed.

“.....Do it,” you said breathlessly. Secretly, you’d wanted this, for years.

“But, there’s people all around us!” Gerard said shyly.

You looked up, and saw that he was right. Actors and actresses were starting to form a line around the table, eager to grab food to snack on.

“.....Come with me,” you said impulsively, and dragged him by the arm, into the powder room, where you’d gotten changed earlier.

“Y-Y/N, what are you doing?” Gerard stammered. “This is the girls’ room…..I’m not supposed to be in here….I don’t want to get caught….”

“Then be real quiet, then,” you shushed him, and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

His shyness seemed to melt away, as his lips crashed into yours. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tighter, as the kiss deepened.

“....Gee!” you gasped, coming up for air. You never saw this coming from him.

“Y/N, I want to make you mine,” Gerard panted, eager to taste your lips again. “Mine, and mine alone.”

You kissed him again. Your hands twisted into his newly short hair. You’d wanted this forever, but you never expected it to actually happen. He tasted so sweet, and his touch was so startlingly possessive.

“Honey,” you purred, grabbing him by his jacket collar, “I’m already yours.”

#gerard way x reader #gerard way imagine #gothtober

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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787.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? >> I bought something on credit for the first time last week. It wasn’t my credit, lmao (I have none), but still.

Which do you prefer: Valentine's Day or Easter? >> I’m not too interested in either. But both have the potential for fun plushies to buy, so there’s that.

Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? >> I don’t decorate for either of those holidays, if that’s what we’re still talking about.

What color bottoms are you wearing right now? >> Black.

Do you love life?! >> The punctuation choice gives this question an interesting flavour, lmao. I mean, I don’t necessarily love life or hate life. It’s kind of just... a default state, I don’t have any special feelings about it unless I’m depressed or something. It’s not like I know what the alternative is like, or have anything to compare life to.

What's your favorite Starbucks drink? >> I don’t drink anything from Starbucks if I can help it.

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? >> ---

What's on your wish list right now? >> My wish list is pretty clear now, thankfully. I wouldn’t say no to a new computer chair, though. Or a new dresser, now that that’s the only thing in my room that doesn’t match.

What do you use to sweeten your tea? >> Honey, if anything.

Which dollar store do you like best? >> ---

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? >> Nope. Well, actually, Sparrow bought me one that I don’t know the price of, so maybe it was an expensive one.

What's one challenge you want to complete for youtube? >> ---

If you make youtube videos, do you have a posting schedule? >> I don’t make youtube videos.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? >> There’s been no way to do that lately -- my comfort zone is the solitude of my room, and we’re under physical distancing rules...

How would you rate your self-esteem? low, healthy, or high? >> My overall conception of myself is probably always going to be skewed, because I got them Issues(tm). But I am trying to be more compassionate and less persecutory towards myself.

Do you own a tripod for your camera? >> I don’t own a camera, period.

Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? >> I don’t know. I guess any of them would be fine.

Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? >> ---

Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? >> ---

Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? >> I’ve never made a Halloween costume.

Do you enjoy putting outfits together? >> That’s not something I really do, all my clothes are kind of just... variations on the same theme. There’s nothing to really “put together”.

Would you rather it rain or snow? >> Rain, please.

What does your umbrella look like? >> We have several umbrellas in this apartment, but the one I use most is a big black-and-red one.

What color are your nails painted? >> They’re not.

Are your nails always painted? >> Obviously not.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? >> I don’t know what a toxic reaction is.

Do you wear headbands? >> No.

Do you own a boho bandeau? >> No.

Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? >> Tunic tops, I guess, just by virtue of the fact that I would not wear a crop top.

What's a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? >> ---

Which youtuber do you want to be more like? >> I don’t want to be like a youtuber.

Do you wear jeggings or leggings more? >> No.

^Same questions, but jeggings or skinny jeans? >> I don’t really like any of these garments, okay.

Do you like stuffed animals? >> I sure do.

What was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

Have you ever gotten straight A's in a class? If so, which classes? >> ---

Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? >> ---

What's the best coffee shop in your town, in your opinion? >> I have no idea.

Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? >> I’m not sad or angry or anxious or irritable, but I’m also not particularly joyful, so... you know. Neutral is my baseline state.

When was the last time you woke up to a beautiful sunrise? >> I don’t remember, especially considering I can’t see the sunrise from my room.

Is your bed right by a window? >> Yeah, the foot of it is.

Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? >> Bedroom. I really only spend time in the living room when I’m gaming or watching Sparrow game (or watching a video or movie or whatever with her).

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? >> I don’t really enjoy decorating for holidays, although I enjoy the decorations themselves. It’s just a tedious process to me.

Do you decorate for holidays? >> Nah, Sparrow does it. She seems to actually enjoy it.

What craft project do you want to do next? >> ---

Do you name stuffed animals still? >> Of course.

Do you still own your favorite Barbie? What was your favorite Barbie? >> ---

Favorite Bratz doll? >> ---

Favorite American Girl doll? >> ---

Favorite Disney princess? >> My favourite Disney princess is Moana.

Favorite cartoon character? >> ---

Are you rebellious? >> I’m a contrary sort by nature, so yeah, I guess so.

What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done? >> *shrug* Existed? Pfft.

What's your favorite thing about yourself? >> I don’t have a favourite thing about myself.

Have you ever celebrated Valentine's Day when you were single? >> I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day regardless. I just don’t mind using V-Day events as excuses to go out and do stuff, or taking advantage of the many plushies for sale.

What's your dream date? >> ---

If you were dating a guy right now, where would you want him to take you? >> ---

Is there a guy you regret letting slip away? >> No.

Are you a guy or a girl? >> No.

Are you more boho, girly, edgy, sporty, or hipster? >> ...

Which stereotype do you fit the most? >> *grinds teeth* Stereotypes are not something I would choose to identify with.

What titles did you win in the senior class polls? >> ---

Were you popular in school? >> No.

If you won a car, what color would you like it to be? >> I don’t want a car. I can’t even drive.

Do you wear hats? >> In the winter, yes.

Do you ever put your hair up in the winter? >> ---

Do you have bangs? If not, have you ever had bangs? >> No.

How many siblings do you have? >> ---

Do you have any family members that you've never met? >> Of course.

If you're from the US, what states have you lived in? >> NJ, NY, CO, MI, NC.

Who was your best roommate? >> Honestly, I’ve never had a good flatmate.

Was your first roommate your best roommate? >> ---

What's the best family vacation you've ever been on? >> ---

Do you have a Mac or a PC? >> PCs.

Do you use iMovie? >> No.

What's your dream job? >> ---

What types of youtube videos are your favorite to watch? >> Video game lore, film/pop culture analyses, stuff like Philosophy Tube.

Which do you watch more: TV, youtube, or movies? >> Probably TV, overall.

Do you prefer books or movies? >> I like both, dude.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? >> Nope.

Are you cold right now? >> Nope.

What do the last pair of pants you bought look like? >> I ordered two pairs of sweatpants from Old Navy. Very pleased with them.

What store(s) do you do most of your shopping at? >> Meijer.

What style of wedding dress is your favorite? >> ---

What years did you attend prom? >> I attended in 2004.

What color is the last sweater you wore? >> Black.

What do you want to be for Halloween? >> I don’t know, I’ve never been anything for Halloween and I’m not sure this year will be any different.

What is your name, and what are the different spelling variations of it? >> I don’t think there’s any other ways to spell “Mordred”, but I may be wrong.

Do you like your name how it's spelled? >> Yes.

Would you change your name if given the chance? >> I already did...

Did you ever want to be famous? >> Not in any serious capacity. I’ve daydreamed about being in rock bands when I was a teenager, but that wasn’t like... serious.

Would you ever want to be famous now? >> Fuck no.

Who are the cutest babies you see on facebook? >> ---

What would your name had been if you were born the opposite gender? >> This question assumes a lot of things, like the idea that one’s parent(s) or guardian(s) had pre-chosen a name for each sex, and that they’d made you aware of the other choice after you were born.

If you had a twin of the same gender, what would his/her name be? >> This assumes even more.

What is your first and middle name? >> Mordred Shadow.

What year were you born? >> 1987.

How old does that make you? >> 32, for a few more days.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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artificialqueens · 8 years ago

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Coming Home Chapter 12 (Shalaska) - Jem

AN: I apologize profusely for the wait. I know I said last chapter that I was back, but I guess I’m not as good at sorting my life as I hoped I would be. That being said, thank you all for sticking by me and giving me feedback on where you’d like to see this story go. Special shout out to @thewritingnymph for advice and support!

Chapter 12

Violet was walking from her French class alone on Monday afternoon when Matt caught up to her. She hadn’t seen him since the other night when they’d kissed, and she was frankly unsure of how to act around him. She felt guilty over how she’d treated him, and she still wasn’t certain about how she felt about what had happened. Avoiding him had been the easiest option, but of course it hadn’t lasted long.

“Hey.” Matt greeted her with his standard nonchalance, but she could tell he was nervous by how his hands fidgeted in his pockets as he walked beside her.

“Hey.” She replied, trying to judge the situation. Matt didn’t seem angry, if anything he looked like he was holding something in. Violet didn’t want to force it, so she just relaxed her face so her brows weren’t furrowed and her mouth didn’t have its signature “bitch pout”. Maybe he’d feel a little better then.

“Listen Violet, I’m really sorry about what happened. I was being stupid and I wasn’t thinking.” Matt finally explained.

“It’s ok.”

Matt looked unconvinced.

“No, really it’s ok. You didn’t really do anything wrong. I actually had a good time before it all got out of hand.” That much was true. Violet had never been able to let her guard down like that before in her whole life. It was so nice to be able to feel like a real teenager, if only for a moment. Maybe they shouldn’t have gotten so drunk, and maybe they shouldn’t have broken into that building, but it had honestly been harmless fun. Everything had just happened so fast that Violet’s brain hadn’t been able to catch up with her actions.

“Were Sharon and Alaska really mad?”

“They were at first. But not about the crown, or the drinking or any of that really. We’re ok now.”

“I’m really glad….”

They walked together in silence for a moment. There was still some kind of unresolved tension between them that hadn’t been there before. Was it always going to be like this? It had just been a kiss and a silly fight, nothing monumental. Violet looked over at Matt; his blonde hair was messy against his forehead, and his blue eyes wandered in the awkwardness between them, not meeting hers. True, she didn’t know if she was really attracted to him, but she cared about the boy a lot and had found a genuine friend in him that she’d never expected to discover. She selfishly hoped she hadn’t compromised that after their kiss.

“I still feel bad and I’d really like to make it up to you.” Matt broke the silence, pulling Violet out of her thoughts. “The Winter Formal is coming up this Friday and I don’t know if you like dances or if you’re going with someone already but if you’re not, would you like to go with me? As friends?” Matt blurted out faster than she’d ever heard him speak before.

“Oh.” Violet paused. “I already told Fame I’d go with her, as friends. But I wouldn’t be opposed to a third musketeer?”

“She doesn’t still hate me?”

“If me and my stone-cold heart can warm up to you, I’m positive she can.” Fame had a good heart; she wouldn’t be hard to win over.

“Ok.” Matt agreed, smiling sheepishly.

“Ok.” Violet gave him a smirk and turned the corner into her next class.

——-

As Friday rolled around, Violet and Fame were getting ready for the dance at Violet’s.

Alaska had helped Violet sew her own dress for the event, which had been very exciting. Violet had always been interested in fashion design, and Alaska had the skillset to properly teach her how to sew for the first time. It had also been an opportunity for them to talk more about Alaska’s life.

“Did you learn all of this for art school?” Violet had asked Alaska as the woman was showing her how to pin her fabric tightly to the pattern they’d made together.

“Some. I did a lot of fibre and performance work in school. It was definitely… experimental in my early years.”

“Oh my god, please tell me you have them on video.”

“I don’t.” Violet sighed in disappointment. “But I’m sure Sharon does….” Alaska continued.

That had become a wonderful afternoon of watching not only Alaska’s cringey, but simultaneously brilliant, performance pieces filmed on Sharon’s grainy video camera, but also sneaky clips Alaska had taken of Sharon’s run in Miss Pennsylvania US. It was sickeningly sweet how much the two of them seemed to adore each other. And even with the distraction they’d still finished Violet’s dress in time for Friday.

The gown was made out of deep purple lace layered over top of solid lilac fabric. It had a sweetheart neckline with short, frilly sleeves over the shoulders and it fell just above her knees. Overall, the dress was simple but had vintage inspiration; Violet was really pleased with the result considering it was her first project. She paired the look with an amethyst necklace she’d borrowed from Alaska.

Her and Fame were painting their nails when Sharon knocked, with a visitor in tow. Matt scratched the back of his head nervously as he greeted Violet and Fame from the doorway of Violet’s bedroom.

“What’s he doing here?” Fame asked a bit coldly, and Violet berated herself for putting off telling her friend that he’d be joining them.

“He’s alright, Fame, I swear.”

The blonde girl raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

“He asked to join us for the dance, and I know we both could use your esteemed fashion and beauty advice.” Fame finally seemed to take a breath, content with the compliment.

Sharon ushered Matt into the room, but lingered in the doorway, obviously wanting to speak.

“Do you guys need anything?” She asked cheerfully, observing the fun.

“No mom.” Violet rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Ok. I’m trying to be the cool mom, so I’ll get out of your way. Let me know if you need snacks or drinks or anything.”

Violet nodded a bit expectantly.

“Ok, ok I’ll get out.” She raised her hands in surrender.

Sharon turned and left so Violet invited Matt to take a seat on the floor next to her.

“Hello Matthew.” Fame said a bit curtly, barely looking up from her manicure to meet his eyes.

“You can call me Matt.”

“Alright Matt, do you have anything to wear tonight?” Fame stopped her work and looked the boy over. Violet could see the wheels turning in her head; the girl could never turn down a fashion project, even if said project was an asshole sometimes.

Matt pulled a basic, black suit jacket, pants, and a shirt out of the garment bag he’d entered with.

“It’s nothing special, really.” He said sheepishly. “What are you guys wearing?”

Violet showed him her dress, and he looked impressed, especially knowing she’d made it herself. Fame had also chosen a beautiful, strapless tan gown that hugged her form down to her knees then billowed out in a mermaid silhouette. They’d wanted to make sure their outfits complemented each other, so Violet had worn nude pumps and Fame had a lilac stole.

“Wow, those are really nice.” Matt remarked upon seeing both of their dresses. He seemed sincere but his voice held a tinge of sadness.

“Matt, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid.”

“It’s ok.”

“We’re the last people who’d judge you.” Fame assured him, clearly warming up to the boy now that she saw some vulnerability.

“I’m just gonna look so plain in my hand-me-down suit and you both are going to be stunning.”

“Well… I’m not sure if Sharon and Alaska have any boy’s clothes…..” Violet trailed off.

Matt was quiet.

“Do you want to wear boy’s clothes?”

Silence again.

“I don’t know.” He finally answered.

“Matt, this is going to be blunt but, do you think you’re like me?” Violet blurted out.

“Like, transgender?”

Violet nodded.

“I don’t think it’s the same, like, I’m not a girl.” Matt began to play with his hands, not meeting Violet’s eyes. He was obviously uncomfortable, but not closed to the discussion.

“I don’t exactly feel like a girl either; gender doesn’t feel like it applies to me, I just like to present as femme, you know?” Violet added.

“I don’t mind presenting as a boy, like I am a boy, but I like those things, necklaces, hair, lipstick.” He elaborated. “I am happy as Matt, I am Matt, but I want more sometimes too.”

“Do you think you want to do drag, Matt?” Fame piped in.

“Like, dressing up as a girl?”

“Like gender as performance. Playing around with those feminine things you like, but not changing your gender.” Violet explained.

“That sounds kind of cool.” He sounded reluctant to admit it.

“Do you want to go to prom in drag?” Violet pushed.

“What? No! No way. Everyone would make fun of me.”

“Ok, ok. One step at a time.” Fame said gently. “Why don’t you try on that suit and let’s see what we can do.”

Matt went to the bathroom to change.

The suit wasn’t horrible, considering Matt had borrowed it from an older cousin. The pants were nice and the jacket fit him well in the shoulders, but the white shirt and tie looked like they were strangling him.

Violet got an idea and she ran into Alaska and Sharon’s closet to borrow a dark grey turtleneck shirt. She had him try that instead, and he immediately looked more comfortable and casual.

The whole look began to come together. Fame styled Matt’s hair so it was slicked back, and with encouragement he allowed her to do some makeup. The lines of gender began to blur as she traced his eyes with black and a hint of glitter, and he even let her paint on bold red lips that matched Violet’s. The final touch was the classic pearl necklace he’d worn the other night.

He looked at himself in the mirror, shocked but (hopefully) not upset. “Wow.” He said in a breathy voice.

“Do you like it?”

“I do.” He made a show of running his hand through his slicked-back hair. “Does this make me gay now?”

“Oh my fucking God, Matt.” Violet exclaimed, and there was the normal, slightly problematic but kind-hearted, Matt.

“That was shitty, sorry.” He blushed. “I think I am kinda gay though.” He said much more seriously.

“Aren’t we all?” Fame stated the obvious, rolling her eyes, but not unkindly. She glanced sideways at Violet but the girl kept her face stoic.

“Now let’s get out of here so that Sharon and Alaska can take the million pictures I know they’ll want without us being too late.”

——-

Violet wouldn’t consider herself much of a dancer. But compared to Matt and Fame, she was practically a prima ballerina. Fame wasn’t terrible with the actual movements, but she had no sense of rhythm at all, and Matt…. well he had about as much grace as a baby elephant. Luckily there weren’t very high expectations for a high school dance. In fact, the atmosphere was a lot more chill than Violet had originally expected. Someone had definitely spiked the punch, and everyone was having a good time and didn’t bother them the whole night. They danced all three of them, taking turns laughing at each other.

“Violet!” Two voices yelled out in unison.

Violet turned to see Katya and Trixie walking her way with linked arms. Trixie looked more than a little tipsy, and was visible leaning on Katya for support.

“You look so beautiful!” Katya exclaimed, reaching a hand to touch Violet’s shoulder. The gesture was enough to call Matt and Fame’s attention away from their failed dance attempts.

“Katya!” Fame yelled in excitement, rushing to hug her and Trixie at the same time. “Are you guys here together?” She asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Oh yeah!” Katya answered fairly loudly, and Trixie blushed but didn’t look upset.

“That’s so nice! I’m so happy for you two.” Fame looked like she was getting emotional, but she was always sentimental about romance if any kind.

“Matt?” Trixie asked, almost as if she didn’t recognize the boy.

“Yeah?” He said tentatively, broken out of his carefree daze. He suddenly seemed self-conscious of his appearance and the makeup on his face. He bit his lip a bit nervously, Violet noticed.

“You look really good.” Trixie said fondly, maybe even proudly.

“Thanks Tracy…” Matt’s eyes shone as he pulled out her old nickname. “I think I finally get why you wear so much makeup.” He joked, gesturing to his own face then hers.

“Yeah?”

“To look like a hooker.”

Trixie burst into laughter that quickly spurred Katya and the rest of the group to join. “Ooh, you bitch!” She yelled at Matt, who looked rather pleased with himself. “Maybe if you’re lucky someone will want to take you home.”

Violet made sure to look straight ahead but she could tell Matt was looking at her through her peripheral vision.

Eventually Katya and Trixie returned to their date, and they were contrasting figures in hot pink and black and red, but somehow it all worked together as they spun rather expertly on the dance floor.

As the night came to a close, Fame was sleepy and that meant she was affectionate. Violet linked her arms around her waist as Fame leaned her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes. They swayed together to some slow song Violet didn’t recognize, content in the calm.

She was grateful to have someone who seemed to support her no matter what she did. Sometimes Violet didn’t know how Fame could still put up with her when she was being cunty and insensitive, but as much as she hated to admit it, she was insecure about just about everything and needed constant reassurance that she was loved. Fame seemed happy to give her that.

“Fame?” Violet whispered as people began to leave the dance floor.

“Mhmm?” The other girl mumbled, not opening her eyes.

“I think it’s time to go home.” Violet looked up at Matt over Fame’s shoulder, who smiled and nodded, coming over to stand closer to them.

“Oh, but I don’t want to go…”

“C’mon, you can barely stand on your own two feet.”

“I’m just having the best time ever, aren’t you guys? This has been the perfect night.”

Violet couldn’t agree more, but every night had to end.

Her and Matt managed to get Fame into the car, and they dropped her off at home first. The blonde gave Violet a gentle peck on the cheek before bidding them both goodnight.

Violet dropped Matt off next, and they sat in the car outside his house for a moment.

“Are you gonna be ok to go home like this?” Violet asked, hating that she had to at all.

Matt only then seemed to remember that he was wearing makeup.

“Oh.” He said gently, but not as scared as he usually appeared when discussing his family. “Do you have anything I can use to take this off?”

She nodded, fumbling for some makeup wipes in her bag. Matt took off as much as he could in the car mirror in the dark, and Violet was so sad to see him have to do it. She could relate to not feeling safe to present how she truly felt. He tried to give her back the pearl necklace he’d borrowed but she insisted he keep it. Sharon certainly wouldn’t wear it anymore.

“I’m sorry you have to do that.” She spoke.

“It’s ok.” He said calmly, and she raised an eyebrow. “My parents are not my rulers, you know? And I’m not gonna let them stop me anymore. Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain it to them and they’ll begin to understand.”

“I hope they will.”

Matt sat quietly for another second before speaking up. “Violet, I want you to know you don’t have to worry about me.”

“You’re my friend, of course I worry about you.”

“I mean, you don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings.” Matt continued. “You know I like you, obviously, but I don’t think you feel the same and I’m content to have you as my friend if that’s all you can give. Because you’ve really been my best friend, I mean it.”

“Matt, I-

“No really, I feel like I’m finally finding myself, and that’s thanks to you. I want you to go after whatever you truly want, can you promise me that?”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yes, now get out of the car, you big lug!” Violet wrapped the boy in a tight hug and let him go.

She drove home, but she had so much on her mind that the drive went by in a flash.

“Oh, hi….” Violet entered the apartment, head still spinning from the wonderful night she’d had. She was surprised to see Sharon and Alaska sitting on the couch in the living room. “I didn’t think you’d still be up.”

“Don’t worry, we weren’t just sitting here all night worried about you.” Sharon joked.

“Actually, we have something to give you. I know it’s late we were just really excited.” Alaska added.

“Ok…..” Violet didn’t know what could be so important, and good mind you, that it warranted them waiting into the late hours of the night for her. She looked at them both expectantly, and after a few long seconds of her two foster moms smiling at each other, Alaska burst out with:

“You’re ours! The paperwork went through.”

“Oh my god, I’m adopted?”

“Yes baby, you’re our daughter.”

Violet felt tears welling up in her eyes and she didn’t stop them from trailing down her cheeks. Maybe it was a combination of everything that had happened tonight along with the realization of how this was the happiest she’d ever been in her entire life, but she found herself sobbing before long.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized, trying to wipe her cheeks dry as more tears fell.

“It’s ok.” Alaska pulled her over the couch and gave her a tight hug.

“What are you feeling right now, Vi?” Sharon asked.

“I’m just so happy. I never thought I’d have friends and family who love me and that I love so equally in return.”

Sharon went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate as Violet calmed down, but it wasn’t the normal kind from a powder mix. No, she melted two bars of chocolate into some milk on the stove and stirred it until it was warm and smooth. Violet was surprised that she hadn’t burnt it, considering her past kitchen endeavours. However, it seemed that Sharon was a hot chocolate connoisseur; it was one of the best things Violet had ever tasted.

Violet sipped the rich liquid and let the warmth fill up her body.

Sharon fell asleep in Alaska’s lap not much later, and god they were such a cheesy cliche of a family but Violet had never been lucky enough to have cliches before. She indulged herself, in what she would later call a moment of weakness, turned the lights in the kitchen off and went back to the couch to join them.

#coming home #jem #alaska thunderfuck #sharon needles #violet chachki #shalaska #miss fame #pearl liaison #parent #child #lesbian au #rpdr fanfiction #submission

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