#But I can't sleep without you
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#I know okay I do know#I need therapy#I am waiting for therapy#But I can't sleep without you#Im not attracted to people who aren't you#It psychically hurts not to know if you're okay#You said you couldn't be exclusively with me#Then you said you couldn't be with me#Then we couldn't sleep together#Then you weren't allowed to say you love me#The only thing I wanted in exchange for being just friends who don't say they love each other was please please don't mention them to me#And I can't have that#And you wonder why hearing about them makes me feel sick?
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𝒾𝓉'𝓈 ��𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑔𝓁𝑜𝓇𝓎. 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔.
#MY 1200 LAYERS AND I MADE IT TO THE RENDER LINE WITHOUT DYING BESTIES#i've been wanting to make this for a while now i have a lot of emotions about this#i can't believe how lucky we are that this show exists#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd#our flag means death#my gifs#making gifs at 2am on a work night instead of sleeping? more bloody likely than you think
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been thinking about Beren and Lúthien ballet adaptation again...
#ft a proper finrod and celegorm design!#and daeron stalking#and mandos#giselle vibes for the halls of mandos sequence#in an actual ballet the story would have to be drastically simplified because you can't have overly complex dialogue#so i'm not sure if you would actually want to include finrod and celegorm+curufin in an actual adaptation since the bare bones of the story#still works without them. but it's more fun with them in it#also!#i have more sketches :) trying to work on some 'court scenes' which i imagine would be similar to sleeping beauty or romeo and juliet#for doriath and nargothrond#may post those too if i get the motivation to finish coloring them haha#clarisse doodles#tolkien#the silmarillion#beren and luthien#tolkien ballet#beren#luthien#finrod#celegorm#daeron
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I'VE BEEN SLEEPING A THOUSAND YEARS, GOT TO OPEN MY EYES TO EVERYTHING
#fionna and cake#Simon Petrikov#adventure time#the lyrics are hilariously relevant#without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold#all this time I can't believe I couldn't see kept in the dark but you were there in front of me#frozen inside without your touch without your life darling only you are life among the dead#get it together Simon#and he would#he is cringe
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shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true
#shiv roy#succession#succession spoilers#ok i'm sleeping#wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right#also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say#i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest#or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood#or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode#or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ#or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie#if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason#shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated#it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does#and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone#she's literally always seen herself as the exception
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maybe i'm crazy but i think if hamilton found out people shipped him and jefferson he'd genuinely pop a blood vessel denying it in newspapers and self-implode his career again by very obtusely saying some shit like "if you really want to see someone that i'm deeply obsessed with, going beyond just political difference, it's probably aaron burr the devil in disguise" or something .
but for some reason i feel like if jefferson learned that people shipped him with hamilton, he'd frown, raise an irritated eyebrow, say something very pithy + classist + obnoxious and just move on? but secretly feel a tiny tiny bit smug, deep inside?
like yes one singular jeffersonian brain cell was unconsciously carrying out a decades long obsessive unhealthy fixation rivalry enemies to enemies to enemies unhappy ending slow-burn. the man had a bust of hamilton, i don't care if it was ironic and gloating, that's still an insane unhinged thing to do.
#yes yes jefferson hated that man but at certain points it feels like he had a sort of grudging respect? just a bit?#but then again this is jefferson and you can't trust shit he says#i don't even know man i can't function without sleep#jamilton#alexander hamilton#aaron burr#hamilton#amrev fandom#amrev#thomas jefferson
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Hc that if something or someone wakes Dream from a deep sleep, he summons and fires his bow on instinct
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#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Dream Sans#Swap Sans#Blue's fine don't worry!! It's a positivity arrow it doesn't do harm to him#Well. it still probably stings getting hit with an arrow but he can't bleed out or anything#It's probably just a pain to fix the hole in his shirt more than anything lol#Luckily it's pretty rare that Dream sleeps that deep anyway so it almost never happens#But I do like imagining post-truce Nightmare going ''Still asleep at this hour? I shall go and wake him''#And Blue's like ''OKAY! c:'' and then after a beat remembers and jumps up like ''ACTUALLY LET ME GET HIM!!''#I think this probably happens with others too#Like if you wake Cross too violently you get blaster'd without mercy
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hey wouldn't it be fun to give Hunter a bunch of Grimwalker things that no one but Belos knew about and everyone assumes is just Belos being cruel until they try something different and then it turns out it was actually necessary for Hunter's wellbeing?
so like one day Hunter mentions never having ice-scream or cake or really any other type of dessert. and everyone's like "that's so sad we have to get him ice-scream right away." but then Hunter spends the next couple hours being violently ill and it turns out Grimwalkers can't handle processed sugar
or he was never allowed to go to the healers when he was injured and he always had to stitch himself up (or Belos would do it sometimes if it was bad enough). and everyone's completely horrified because that's terrible and evil and what could the point of that be except to make Hunter go through more pain? and then someday he breaks a leg or something and they take him to the healers and it just. doesn't work. nothing happens. and it turns out healing magic is completely ineffective on Grimwalkers
anyway I think it would be fun to make the line between what was care and what was abuse a little blurry every now and again
#I may write a fic about this idk#anyway Belos being an unreliable narrator except sometimes so you can't just dismiss what he says you have to interrogate all of it for#essential information and it makes the whole process so much worse bc you can't just say “that's bad and shouldn't have happened to you” bc#you might be wrong actually. maybe that was right and should have happened to you. you don't know#“I regularly was made to sleep on the balcony without any bedding” and his carer/s are horrified but what if that's good for him??? they#don't know weirder things have happen. did you sleep well. did you feel rested. did you feel safe. how did you feel about it emotionally#was this packaged as a punishment or reward or just a thing you were told to do. they have to check#grimwalker#grimwalkers#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#belos#toh hunter#grimwalker things#that should be a tag can we make that a tag#tw child abuse#abuse tw#<- I don't really know what other warnings to tag for filtering purposes. if anyone knows pls tell me#nuclear war speaks
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thought abt how toji is such a light sleeper and i.. sleep though just about all of my alarms aka........... he is my alarm clock now. he wakes up after the first one and then wakes me up himself:((((((((( and he's soooo extra sweet in the early mornings ouughhh my poor poor heart he really is like a cat he just noses at my cheek and presses gentle gentle kisses all over my face until i wake up. knows i take a long time so he does let me take my time but he just stays in bed with me to make sure i won't actually fall back asleep.
and . he doesn't go back to sleep after that either. he will keep me company no matter whether he has work/errands to do. we wash up and drink our coffee and then he drives me to work too:(((((((((((((((((
#I'M GONNA WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP#i do think he's a morning person#though overall he is a little grumpy.. the fact that i struggle to wake up will kind of make him a bit less grumpy lmao#he's so quiet and soft and he's just soooooooooooooobghjfkfdjgh#AND I FEEL SO BADDD#OH MY GODDD I FEEL SO BADDDD#LIKE WHEN MY SHIFT STARTS AT SEVEN AND I NEED TO WAKE UP AROUND FOUR AND THEN HE . WILL ALSO WAKE UP AT FOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR#NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#MY HUSBANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#YOU DESERVE TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP YOU SHOULD BE SNORINGGGGGGGGGGG HUHEUHEUHEUHEUEHE#... perhaps he'll make me feel better by saying that he can't...... sleep without me anyway................................................#miji
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Clone^2 Damian
If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.
And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?
Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.
And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.
But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.
After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.
And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.
And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.
This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.
But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.
He wants to go home.
And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.
And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.
And it's not happening.
But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.
And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.
But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.
And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.
There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.
And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.
This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?
And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.
Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.
And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.
"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.
"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.
And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.
That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.
It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dpxdc crossover#clone^2#like god can you imagine how scared he must've been? how afraid? he just wants his mom - only to realize he doesnt even matter to her#dpxdc au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#this poor kid man. no wonder he latched onto danny the moment he gave up on the league like a leech. he's a six year old kid man and#it doesnt matter how smart he is or how mature he acts. he still is six years old. he still needs that validation and affection from adults#or from people older than him. and his emotional needs were just not being met in the league.#cue the song “two” from sleeping at last - some of their songs are very clone^2 honestly.#'sweetheart you look a little tired. when did you last eat? come in and make yourself right at home. stay as long as you need.'#'tell me is something wrong? if something's wrong you can count on me'#'its okay if you can't find the words. let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders'#'like a force to be reckoned with. am i the ocean or a gentle kiss. i will love you with every single thing i have'#'like a tidal wave i'll make a mess. or calm waters if that serves you best'#'i will love you without any strings attached'#like just. just *imagine* being in damian's shoes during all of this. he's *six* you guys. i've worked with six year olds and they're#pretty independent but they're still six. they get excited when they see their parents and they get upset when an adult is angry with them.#they're still developing their motor skills. they're still developing everything else!
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If when Megumi and Yuuji talk again Megumi asks why Yuuji insists on saving him, and we get a callback to "personal feelings/selfish, emotional decision" i will die. You'll never hear from me again
#itafushi#yuuji no longer thinks that you need a given role for your life to have meaning#and he knows that Megumi's life would have had worth even without a “dignified death”#this isn't about megumi asking to be saved. or dignified death. probably not even about what his grandpa told him about helping people#he wants to save megumi because he doesn't want him to die#akwjakka#idk what im talking about btw its 3am and i can't sleep#jjk manga#jjk manga spoilers#? in the tags lol#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen
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my capacity to see a bad fandom take and just blithely say 'okay! I disagree' internally and move on because it's not my responsibility or concern that someone else thinks that has leveled up so tremendously over the years. I haven't quite escaped the pit of misery yet but I think I'm getting there
#the ability to say to oneself 'it's okay if you don't agree with me'#(and possibly adding a quiet bitchy 'I can't force you to be right' at the end if you're annoyed enough lol)#at seeing a bad take without ever internalizing it any deeper than that... indispensible.#if someone is really unpleasantly vitriolic or reactive about it I'll just block and move on. and never think about them again#a gift for me and for them I'm sure! but as long as people are being civil I'm getting pretty good at just going 'alright.#I think you're wrong but it's your prerogative to think that. away from me preferably but still'#when I was younger I always felt like a more negative take must be more valid/see something I didn't but over time (and a lot of therapy)#that kneejerk self-doubt is a lot easier to get through. sometimes. people are wrong! to me and my experience. and that's alright#if nothing else understand your own limitations in ever changing someone's mind for them and let it go lol#when I feel the real badfeels at a shitty take now I know it's just because I'm tired and threadbare and need to sleep haha#sometimes mental health progress is sooooo... boring and low-key but also brings so much relief#like doing admin work up here. *sees something so dumb I feel dizzy* file that shit under 'not my problem' and move on chief
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my problem rn is that I really like the idea of putting Ethedis in a sickfic scenario right? love the designated healer character getting forced downtime and being tenderly cared for for a change. that's the good stuff. BUT, dangit Tolkien, apparently elves can't even get sick >:( so I guess the only way to knock her into forced downtime is to use the good ol plinko and stab her a bunch or something. the lore forced me into this you see, there was simply no other way.
#sure I guess I could get her pricked with some kinda poison that has all the same effects as an illness (fever weakness coughs etc)#but that's still so *violent* y'know?#maybe I just want her to be sick normalstyle ok??? low-stakes all-comfort without all the inherent danger of some unknown poison#c'moooon Tolkien can't elves just have a little cold? as a treat??? >:(#must you deny her the tenderness of having a worried Corunir dabbing a damp cloth over her fevered forehead?#making her some nice soup and helping her drink it because she's too weak to do it herself?#is she not allowed the comfort of Tossdir prattling on at her bedside while she drifts off bc he didn't want her to be bored or lonely???#what about being half-roused from a fevered stupor by a gentle hand brushing the sweat-soaked hair from her face?#and then drifting off to sleep exhausted but safe and comforted#why can't she have that huh??? can't a girl just get doted on for once??#is that too much to ask??#I am so tempted to just. ignore the lore. just this once. as a treat.#Ethedis#idk if I'll end up writing anything either way tho. the words are not wording. but I WANT to
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A momentary apology to everyone who followed me thinking I was a cute magical girl and occasional Alice in Wonderland blog.
#stella talks#.you have to understand........#.garashir hits every shipping button I've got and then some#.it's like it was tailor made for my tastes in ways i didn't know were possible.#.i went almost a week without sleeping when i started ds9 because it hit me so hard.#.garashir was so compelling to me it shook me into a manic episode for over a MONTH.#.i am literally only just starting to come down from that.#.it did something to my brain chemistry okay.#.also some chance this is related to one of my closest friends dying and fixating so hard on a ship is a coping thing.#.idk might be unrelated though who could say!!! >_>;;;;;#.the manic episode started before she died though so.#.i think it is being drawn out because i can't handle my feelings on magical girl stuff right now because it make me think of her.#.so ds9 is a nice safe outlet for me while i try to come to terms with everything.#... she'd have loved my starfleet magical girl au tho. pain. ):
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oh, tag...
dress - taylor swift / the lady in red - chris de burgh / every little thing she does is magic - sleeping at last / let's dance - david bowie / kiss on my list - the bird and the bee / treacherous (taylor's version) - taylor swift / just can't get enough - depeche mode / addicted to love - florence + the machine / hungry heart - bruce springsteen / wicked game - james vincent mcmorrow / come back...be here (taylor's version) - taylor swift / every breath you take - the police / i'm gonna be (500 miles) - sleeping at last / waiting for a girl like you - foreigner / friday i'm in love - phoebe bridgers / the prophecy - taylor swift / hungry eyes - eric carmen / time after time - iron & wine / head over heels - tears for fears / how deep is your love - the bird and the bee / gold rush - taylor swift / hungry like the wolf - duran duran
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#rupert x taggie#rutag#angelblack#rivals hulu#otp: i can't breathe without you#my mix#rivals#me: wow this show has a riveting 80s soundrack! how do i make this about taylor swift?#if you see three different song titles with hungry in them yes you do#they ALL apply!#making a playlist is how i know this has reached feysand levels of brainrot 4 me#you guys i love a playlist tho#everyone say thank you to the bird and the bee and sleeping at last!#also if you saw this for the 2 hours the fucking link was broken no you did not!
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"Like you're losing that hard edge!" "That bad?" "Not at all-I like it!" // "I guess I thought we could just pick up where we left off, like nothing had changed... but I guess I was wrong."
#ffvii remake#ffvii rebirth#ffvii rebirth spoilers#cloud strife#tifa lockhart#cloud x tifa#cloti#sir not you closing off AGAINE#she likes it when you aren't as closed off and without that cool guy facade!#sir you are so stupid sometimes...#ffviiedit#ff7redit#ffviiredit#tifalockhartedit#cloudstrifeedit#clotiedit#again i am a multishipper but this is my favorite cloud ship#mostly because i have a childhood friends/best friends to lovers bias? but there are definitely other reasons#i can't really explain right now since i'm sleep deprived but also have somewhere to be lol#i'll get back to you on that
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