#But I already think you're amazing!!

[desultory-novice]

Been awhile since I had seen your stuff, and I really enjoy what you’ve been coming up with! Glad to see you’re having fun

(Also, how did you start here, so to speak? I would love to be an active creator in the kirblr community, but since I just lurk and rb because I don’t have the energy/confidence to create, I just feel like an unwelcome stalker LOL. Sorry if this is too much!)

Oh, gosh, thank you so much! I'm a little impressed at how things have turned out after barely two years(?) here myself!

I don't know if my methods could ever work for anyone else as they do me, as I attribute a lot of "this" to serendipity but...

...It seems to me I really took off after opening my inbox up to doing detailed ask memes about the characters. Again, this was kind of luck on my part because I spoke very lovingly (albeit truthfully!) about a few mega popular characters, which caused two of their fandom BNFs to kindly reblog my posts, and that sent a bunch more asks for the WHOLE rest of the Kirby cast my way!

I'm sorry to say, it does take a lot of energy though. But I do get the struggle, as I'm often exhausted by life/lots of jobs. However, if you can find any sort of mental "trick" to keep yourself going, you might discover you have more energy than you think inside you!

(Me, I'm very visual, and I keep a collection of my favorite fanart on hand. If I think I've exhausted myself on a character/ran out of ideas of things to talk about, I'll browse through my personal "gallery" and it will help me to remember characters/events/interesting points.)

As to the matter of confidence, you've probably heard the whole "fake it to you make it" bit and to a degree, at least, it's true. I've had a couple of posts where I've flooded the tags with things like "OMG this is so bad and I'm so sorry!" or "I had no time to work on this and it shows~" or "if this sucks it's because life is crushing my soul and I just want to sleep for a thousand years..." annnnnd unfortunately...

...even if it's how you're feeling At The Time, those things can make people feel like they're intruding into your space by liking or reblogging it. It's like, if you're telling us something so personal and private, maybe you really only want to hear from a friend right now, and not a stranger...? What I've done is I've told myself it's okay to write out those low self-esteem thoughts elsewhere but try to let the people who are here for the art/images/videos/writing/discussions just enjoy your art/images/videos/writing/discussions.

If you've got something to get off your chest, don't feel like you have to hold it inside, but don't hold your audience captive either.

(Also, something else fun about this: if you cast out positivity, you may find that it comes back to you, and when you look again at that thing you shared, it was NOT as "awful" as you thought.)

Now, a lot of that was about "external" confidence or what you display. As for internal confidence, that's... kind of a constant struggle. We all -- and by all, I I mean even famous published creators -- have times when we think our work isn't good enough. Annnd...

...Well, it isn't always great. But the fact that something isn't great now (even if it's the absolute best we can do at the time) doesn't mean we have no skill at something! We all have to start somewhere. And sometimes "somewhere" is a piece of art or writing or theory or humorous content that only 1-2 people think is "...Eh, not bad."

My first "hit it big" piece? My "Moon's Haunted" Kirby meme? Ohhh man, I can't STAND to look at now! I redrew it a few months back and if I were to redraw it today, it'd look better still, probably. The key is that I tried (...and that I meme-posted when the game was going viral >.> ) and I think that shone through??

(...It might be silly, but there IS a Nintendo Direct tomorrow. Probably no Kirby news, as I assume Vanpool's closure will bring an end to us getting multiple Kirby titles a year, but if you really want to try and take that ^ path, you can always get up early/stay up late and ready yourself to post commentary on any news!)

That doesn't just go for art, but writing/theories/HC as well. I myself find it a little sad when someone starts on a post and then will just trail off with "...lol I dunno, didn't think about it that hard."

"Don't say that, person on the internet," I cry! Do you realize how much information is at your fingertips right now? You can google for things even if you only know it as "that thing in that one movie about the fruit." You can watch a Youtube video in 5 minutes explaining the mechanics of something you've never seen or ever hope to do before! You can even watch a Youtube playthrough of a Kirby thing you forgot instead of saying "You forgot!" Don't know how to draw cloaks? Pinterest has millions of references! Don't like Pinterest? Just google "cloaks, Pinterest" and click on the images tab and you will never have to log into that accursed site! It just takes WANTING to.

Though sometimes, I think people write that out of embarrassment? Maybe they DID think about it but they don't think anyone would be interested? Or maybe they really didn't think about X or Y but didn't want to feel like they were neglecting anybody and that something is better than nothing. Which it is, but LOVE is even more important!

...And love, especially in a fandom space, can be ~complicated~

Like I mentioned above, I'm LUCKY that my top favorite characters also come close to topping the rest of "the fandom's" list. But as I've said before, I love every character in Kirby. Even the ones-people-want-to-throw-off-a-bridge-into-a-waste-treatment-plant..

And if I'd started off my tumblr as a "The Susie Haltmann Appreciation Blog!" as opposed to my actual "Hey I'm Completely Obsessed About Marx and Magolor and I Think About Them All The Time (...but I also like the Haltmanns from a story perspective for their heartrending tragedy that hits close to home for me...) Blog" I don't know if we'd be having this conversation right now. ^^;

(It doesn't just have to be all about controversy/"discourse" related stuff either. I could have started a "Daily Sillydillo" blog and had to retire it in a month due to low levels of interaction. The concept of fandom favorites might not be very egalitarian, when every character deserves to have their story enjoyed, but sometimes, strong love can make up for the lack of eyes on a thing. Occasionally ^^)

...Anyway, you might not have the energy, at least not all the time, and confidence might be a little low right now too, but you love Kirby, right? You have passion for it? Passion can get you a lot! And also, there's a few methods of interaction that, for personal reasons, I could not choose that have done wonders for everyone else!

For example, I have some old, unhealed trauma about OCs, but there's a whole hu~ge section of Kirblr that loves OCs and, as far as I've seen (??) tries to be really supportive about them?

Lastly, I can guarantee you, you are NOT a stalker and anyone who thinks being a "quiet supportive fan" equates to being a stalker should consider moving away from thinking of themselves and/or others in that negative way. You have stalked nobody! You have only shown an active interest in others! That is a POSITIVE thing!

And on that note, you're definitely not unwelcome either! Especially if you're one of the precious, wonderful people out there who reblog lots! If you want to get your toes wet, why not test the waters and build your confidence in this space by adding some of your thoughts onto your reblogs? You could build a rep/connections that way!

TLDR, sometimes gaining an audience/a space is a magic trick that no one knows the secret to. Other times, it is the result of months and months and months of hard, lonesome persistence.

The best advice I can give you is advice I would give myself:

-Be kind if you can, if you cannot, then be understanding -Demonstrate care about your interests and those of others -Forgive yourself for being at the beginning of your journey

-Enthusiasm, sincerity, and love are warm lights in this world of ours that can, at times, seem so dim and dreary. Light a little lantern for yourself and remember to laugh loud with joy that life is also so amazingly, ridiculously magical and before you know it, others will find their way to your light to add their lantern to yours!

[mxfrodo]

y'all for fucking real. don't fucking write slave fics or x reader fics of aventurine's slavery??? are you guys out of your goddamn minds???

[lafragolina]

just kill me

[kradogsrats]

there is a world where I help you get home but that's not a world I know

arc 1 version | arc 2 version

[shinxeysartgallery]

If you still like jax after this last episode i think there's something fundamentally wrong with you

Y'all are WEAK

The guy known for being an absolute menace does something fucked up and y'all lose your minds. Like, what did you expect? Were you thinking he was going to suddenly become nice and be kind to everyone? lmao

Plus, Gooseworx said herself that he was going to get worse to a point he was unlikeable, so you should've expected it. Did you think she was joking?

Personally, I love him precisely because he's an absolute menace and I live for the chaos. I hope he gets worse. <3

[mayomkun]

Insane how many social cues humans have and you're supposed to know them all without being told

[claranoctis]

Night comes to the camp.

Azul tries to be polite... in the way he understands what “polite” may be in this situation.

[zhongrin]

i was on call with my parents yesterday for our usual weekly calls, and we got talking about the movie i went to watch with a friend, which then evolved into my mom talking about how she remembered how popular some book series were...

and then she started praising writers. said how she couldn't fathom having such an amazing minds and imagination. how intelligent they must be to be able to understand human minds so well and play with words and invoke feelings out of nothing. how amazing it must be to be able to build a little world inside one's head; to have so many different characters you created inside your own mind interacts and create their own life and aspirations and dreams.

i smiled so wide last night.

[soracities]

Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.

One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.

Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.

Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.

Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)

I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.

I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.

I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?

The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.

It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.

The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.

I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.

You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.

We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?

I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?

If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?

This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x

[tadpolesonalgae]

Hey Tabby! I just wanted to start this by letting you know that I think your writing is beautiful. It’s so complex in all the best ways and I’m truly in awe of your work.

I have been trying to improve upon my own writing, particularly by writing longer, multi-part stories. However, I feel as though there is something I am missing. I have been gushing over cbmthy (amazing btw!) and I am so impressed at the different elements all wound together. I was curious as to what your process is for creating stories like it!

Thank you in advance🫶🏻

I'm probably going to ramble for a little on this one so apologies if this turns into a tangent-riddled flow of paragraphs!

Also I feel it's very necessary for me to say this is just what I think, and what (generally) works for me. In the end both of us are different people and I think trying things for yourself (though it can be exhausting taking a trial-by-error method) will probably be a sure-fire way of figuring out what works for you.

So, first of all I think different things work for different people, and different circumstances can deeply impact your ability to write. For example, before cbmthy the longest series I've written is probably Teeth and Talons, or Two Birds, both of which I know how I want to end but have left alone for a half a year and probably a year and a half respectively, and if I'm honest I think it's because I needed people’s enthusiasm to carry me? (Not saying I'd be over the moon if people suddenly took an interest in either of those again - I'm pretty busy at the moment and have quite a lot on my plate - in fact I'm kind of glad they've been allowed to fizzle out so I can peacefully return to them when I'm ready.)

I'm almost completely certain that if people weren't continuously showing curiosity for the series, and continuing to interact with the fic and reread that I wouldn't have made it up to twenty chapters. Originally it was supposed to be a one-shot, possibly with a sequel if it did well enough.

Then, I think there's also the part of being able to gauge whether you'll be able to sustain a series yourself. Can you see where the story is headed? Do you have an outline? Can you see alternate pathways you can take if you end up getting bored? Do you have a source of inspiration (other writers, books, music, artists, a place you like to visit, food, etc.)? Do you have the time?

A lot of the 'planning' I do for cbmthy, and lately also CoLCoV, is just staring at my ceiling before falling asleep and drifting off into thought? Or listening to music during a grocery trip, if I'm cleaning, or just generally doing something where I can kind of zone out? A lot of it happens inside my head, and I tend to not write it down until I'm ready to do the full scene - there are parts way ahead in cbmthy that I have in my mind that I refuse to write down because as soon as I do 1) I'll lose the emotions connected to the scene once they become words on a screen and 2) inevitably I'll have to rework the scenes to fit into the chapter fluently which is just a pain and kills motivation and can result in you thinking the scene is awful and then putting it off longer when it's actually going to be surprisingly well-received by people (speaking from experience - I hated chapter 16 before posting it and now it's one of my favourites since people were so openly warm to it)

I'd also argue that your reasoning for writing a series can play a part? I have my reasons for making cbmthy the way that it is, making reader the way that she is, and giving her particular hurdles to overcome that solely benefit me, as the author, who knows what they mean to me - though I hope that doesn't stop anyone else from finding their own troubles and solutions in it, or even just reading cbmthy as a piece of light fanfiction, if that's what you want it to be as the reader.

Whether your reasons are because you have a point to make, to yourself of someone else, or because it's a story line that's grabbed your attention, I would encourage you to sit on it for a while just to see if you continue to be enthusiastic about it.

And, kind of finally, if your aim is to ultimately try to improve your writing, don't get tunnel-visioned on one process. Maybe this is obvious but feel around and read different things. If you're able to, walk into a different section of a bookstore, spend time looking through blurbs and reading through the first few chapters of books to see if the writing style takes your interest before buying them. Try writing drabbles, try writing pieces that lean more on description, give different genres a go!

Also something I would definitely recommend is, if you haven't already, try writing a long one-shot. Don't give yourself a time limit, or push yourself into coming up with something immediately, but if you get an idea, try writing one piece over a few months, just sitting down whenever you feel like you've figured out what scene you want to add next, and try rereading sections now and again. I think that method is probably what worked best for me - having something to keep coming back to and gradually building up since it let me see that I can sustain a story.

It's also a good way to write something long without feeling any pressure to update it since nobody knows you're writing it, then bam! It appears out of thin air!

Anyway, this did indeed get long and out of hand, but I hope at least some of my rambling made sense and might help you? I'd also encourage finding fanfic authors you like and trying to continuously interact with them. I certainly have problems with jealousy and comparing myself with other writers on here, and unfortunately it means I now find it very hard to read work from new authors. I think there are only three now that I can still read freely and happily without comparing myself to them, and it's because I like them as people and interacted with them.

^I hope that last part won't have to apply to you, though, and that you'll have a good time writing!

[moondvncer]

can I please go for one single day without 292179 new problems popping up in my life can I please just spend one single day without being in survival mode

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i decided to watch the taysway concert movie today and i've still got 2 hours and 18 minutes left but i had to take a break because it's giving me anxiety to even witness another person doing this much stuff for this long

[polisena-art]

i'm getting into brazilian music recently and deusa do amor really made me think about your three caballeros art!!! in love with work

OMG THANK YOU!! Deusa do Amor is such a lovely song, truly brings the romantic side of Bahia (also lowkey inspired my next drawing so THANK YOU again for reminding me abt this song!!) IDK it also makes me really happy to know that my art somehow connects with MPB to some of you people ❤️

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

im so grateful for all you of btw

[campingwiththecharmings]

me whenever someone gives me unsolicited opinions about myself:

[pynkhues]

"Surviving trauma doesn't make you an expert on other people's trauma" is how I'm paraphrasing your tag. But it's such an important point to me. I feel like not just internet spaces but also societal mental health conversation has been ignoring this for decades. I can talk about this extremely broadly because I think it's one of the problems with 12 step type of addiction treatments. But it's also especially popular in the realm of victims of crime and/or abuse of any kind. Surviving trauma only makes you an expert on your own personal trauma and healing. There is no universal cure for any trauma, everyone needs something different. And treating others requires a level of detachment that rarely exists in amateur survivors of similar trauma. Sorry for preaching about this in your inbox but your tags really reminded me how passionate I am about this. I've experienced people scolding me for abandoning support groups and group therapy types of things when they didn't feel helpful to me because they helped them and "I just didn't give them proper chance".

(x)

Don't apologise, anon! I totally agree, and I'm really sorry that you've had that experience with support groups and group therapies.

I've been thinking about this a lot actually since the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial and the horrific treatment of her during all of that, but it's been a pretty big factor in my life these days in general.

Like, look, this is kind of getting a bit in the weeds of my real life right now, but my aunt's very angry at me and my mum at the moment in a way that's been pretty exhausting. (Putting this below a cut because nobody needs to read this, haha)

My aunt is a victim-survivor of some pretty horrific domestic violence. It was many years ago now, and she's done a lot of healing and is in a better place overall, but the situation currently with my sister going through emotional and financial abuse, gaslighting and physical intimidation, with her ex-husband has I think brought up a lot for my aunt, and the result is that she's really trying to dictate the choices that my sister makes as she's going through this.

My aunt has been genuinely so supportive of my sister, but she's also been incredibly judgemental and critical. It's been a really challenging space for their relationship, and, by proxy, my relationship with my aunt, because she calls me (and my mum, who's her sister) up to try and influence my sister's decisions. We're in this current kinda stand-still over it because we're six weeks out from final trial in family court, and my ex-BIL has done something very threatening to my sister, and my aunt wants my sister to get an AVO. We tried to get my sister an AVO last year, and the police told her that until he put her in hospital, they wouldn't give her one. Now my aunt wants my sister to try again, and my sister's lawyers are saying no, because it looks like a play to the judge. They've been in family court for two years, and to try again this close to final trial may be legitimate but to a judge it'll read as a move that could influence her custody of her children.

My sister doesn't want to take that risk, her lawyers don't want to take that risk, and in my opinion, the worst result would be for her to try, have it on the record that she tried, get the same response she did last year that he hasn't put her in the hospital yet, and ergo get no AVO and a bad mark on her heading into court. On top of that - - AVOs don't do shit. They're a piece of paper that maybe bump you up a few spots in the queue when you call the police.

Anyway, my aunt's furious about this and it's become this huge thing where my aunt feels she knows better because she got an AVO, because she's been through this already, because none of us understand what she understands, and I'm like - - it's exhausting, and it's unfair. Their experiences are not the same by any stretch of the imagination, and I hate that a part of me keeps thinking that what happened to my aunt didn't end because of an AVO, it ended because he was a gambling addict and he was killed over an unpaid debt.

My aunt really is trying to do the right thing by my sister, and I love her for that, but there is this disconnect between survivor experiences that can cause an enormous amount of friction and complication, and I think we need to get better in general at acknowledging that.